She has to like you more

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-03-11T23:37:27+00:00

The best type of relationship is the one where both of you like each other a lot and are crazy about each other. Everything else is doomed to fail or already unsatisfying.

OnePotatoeChip · 2024-03-12T00:09:35+00:00

No self-respecting woman should stay with a man that has lukewarm feelings for her and vice versa. If they're not matching your investment into the relationship, break it off quick and move on.

Safinated · 2024-03-11T22:56:01+00:00

That’s the best situation for a man, yes

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-03-11T23:33:41+00:00

Women always look for emotional validation in the relationship, so knowing that she likes him more, it becomes easier for her to get that

How exactly does unrequited or unequal love provide more “emotional validation” than say the inverse situation?

More-Tax-62 · 2024-03-12T02:27:11+00:00

For men, she has to like you more. For women, he has to like you more. The ideal is probably when you like each other a lot, relatively equally, and the base foundation of your desires to each other is not superficial.

But if I had to pick one or the other for relationship sustainment/quality overall, objectively speaking - men have to like women more. I certainly wouldn't advocate this dynamic for any individual man myself, but guys who are like "golden retrievers" towards their women are probably better equipped to handle the issues that women go through in the course of life such as weight gain, mood swings, pregnancy, decreased libido.

The type of guys who's wife will gain 60 pounds and they'll say, she's the most beautiful woman I ever seen in my life. She's just as beautiful as the day I met her.

The reverse dynamic can yield many more problems. This is probably where most Fwb situations live. The guy who leaves his wife after she put on a bunch of weight. The one who doesn't support his wife through pregnancy.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-03-11T23:06:28+00:00

Women always look for emotional validation in the relationship, so knowing that she likes him more, it becomes easier for her to get that

How so?

Wouldn't this woman get "easier" validation from a man who obviously likes her a lot?

baiser_vole · 2024-03-11T23:30:02+00:00

With maladjusted people, keeping the "hard to get" attitude keeps them chasing. There's more than enough maladjust people in this world.

Spicy_take · 2024-03-12T07:00:56+00:00

Honestly, I hate that it has to be that way, but it’s true.

Relationships always have an “adorer” and an “adored”. It doesn’t mean the adored doesn’t love the adorer. But the adorer obviously loves more. Men like to ride the emotional high of deep love. But women NEED that emotional high most of the time. On the other hand, the adored involuntarily has the control over the relationship. Most men want that bit, while most women don’t. At least not for a long term relationship.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2024-03-12T04:54:39+00:00

Yup I have a personal example of this

I have a co worker who I used to have a thing with. She was way more heavily into me than her. Literally was obsessed with me. Forward to now and shes in a relationship with this new guy and she tells me how clingy he is and how much it icks her out. He is a typical lovey dovey head over heels boyfriend and she cant stand it. She sees him as weak. We were chatting about it the other day and she was clowning him while we were reminiscing about how we used to be, the sex we used to have etc etc.

Told me how she thinks about our past all the time. I feel bad for the current guy

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-03-11T23:34:51+00:00

There are disadvantages to a situation like this. In my experience they are extremely clingly and sensitive. Worried you'll get away so they hold on unhealthily tight.

Barneysparky · 2024-03-11T22:59:56+00:00

Or, crazy thought. You could meet someone and really hit it off together.

The minute a relationship becomes a contest, you have lost.

toasterchild · 2024-03-12T01:00:17+00:00

Insecurity comes in two opposite forms. One side clingy the other side plays distance games. You can't win a relationship.

NoJackfruit2965 · 2024-03-12T03:31:24+00:00

It's not gender specific. It's always better for the more honourable person in the relationship to be loved more. They can love, stay loyal and put in effort out of their sense of duty and commitment. Even when their feelings wane, they can reflect and recognise that it can be temporary. They will work on bringing the spark back.

The distribution by gender on honourable/dutiful people is up for debate and hard to determine. Women are statistically more conscientious but they also initiate breakups more than men.

LoopyPro · 2024-03-11T23:19:26+00:00

My current LTR is the best one I've had. When my GF and I were dating for a couple of weeks, she literally said the quiet part out loud about her being attracted to and obsessed with me because I was relatively aloof compared to her clingy ex.

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-03-12T00:03:39+00:00

As a woman who has chronically liked men more than they liked me… I disagree with this entirely. I believe that if a man senses the woman is way into him.. he stops trying as hard to maintain the relationship.

It’s the whole “men like to chase” thing. Being too easy is boring. Blah blah.

But I also believe that if a man doesn’t “love” you from the jump.. he never will. Anecdotally, the length and happiness of the relationship rests heavily on the mans shoulders.

Magnito-was-right · 2024-03-12T00:00:25+00:00

It's best to like each other equally. Whoever likes the person more will always suffer.

East_Writer_2892 · 2024-03-12T01:12:47+00:00

Duh. Both genders are hoping that their partner likes them more than they do because it puts the relationship on easy mode. You have to deal with so much less bullshit when the girl thinks you're dating down for her. God forbid she thinks you're dating up; actual nightmare.

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-12T00:24:25+00:00

Yuck.

I think the best relationship will always be one of equally reciprocated attraction/chemistry/joy in each other.

I think what tends to stabilize this is a sort of mutually assured destruction or mutually likely to leave over poor treatment which in turn alongside appreciation of each other also causes respect.

Put bluntly, my boyfriend treats me well because he respects the consequences for not. And vice versa.

Professional-Yam601 · 2024-03-12T01:46:16+00:00

Ideally, wouldn’t both people like each other the same?

WilliamWyattD · 2024-03-12T13:51:15+00:00

This is the typical ideal, though it is as much or more about female hypergamy and the desire to 'look up to my man' than it is women's greater need for emotional drama.

But that said, like a truly hypergamous union, this is just the typical ideal. Not only do individuals vary greatly, but even 'typical' couples for which this would be the ideal cannot always find this kind of match. Nevertheless, couples find their way to happiness all the time when they are not in an 'ideal' relationship.

funfacts_82 · 2024-03-12T07:42:16+00:00

Fully agree. The most perfect relationships i had were always like that.

There is one caveat tho: The gap cant be too wide or women tend to get self destructive at some point. But in general yes, she should like you a bit more as long as it is roughly on the same level.

bluesweater678 · 2024-03-12T02:56:03+00:00

I wholeheartedly disagree. I have been in multiple situations where I have liked the guy way more and it always backfired on me each time. I think at best, both of them should like each other equally, if not the man has to SLIGHTLY like the girl more. This is because men and just operate differently emotionally than women do. And when tend to be more emotionally attached. This takes a lot of mental and emotional energy from a girl and it a guy is not reciprocating that or even liking her more, it’s like the girl is working overtime in the relationship and is just fighting for his attention.

Itchy-Investigator23 · 2024-03-12T02:04:14+00:00

Great way to end up dating fatties.

Emergency-Escape1708 · 2024-03-12T08:38:36+00:00

Equal attraction is truly a reddit libtard's wet fantasy. In the real world for most normies it's always lopsided.

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modidlee · 2024-03-12T00:43:49+00:00

All my best relationships were with women that were clear about their interest and some would say did more “pursuing.” My ex wife was one of my coworker’s cousin and she got my coworker to introduce us. She told me later that she was sexually attracted and hoped I was cool enough and interested in more. We ended up married for ten years. Another ex was my sisters coworker who’s number I got and talked to for a month until she said she wanted to meet for lunch and hang out. We were together for two years after that. And recently the girl I’ve been seeing struck up a conversation with me in a store. We talked for about a week until she invited me over. I tell guys to always go for the women that are attracted enough to make a move first, or at least show interest. When that happens the part where you have to impress her is pretty much done already. You just have to play it cool and let nature take its course after that.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-12T01:35:02+00:00

I think it depends on what stage you’re at, ie. early on its most ideal if she’s more into you, but it also isn’t a deal breaker and if it works out, it works out. Once it gets into an actual relationship though, the emotional effort and interest has to be mutual

ChicktoGo · 2024-03-12T07:21:08+00:00

Not true

Medium_Listen_9004 · 2024-03-12T07:48:47+00:00

No. You have to match, align, and agree with each other to a high degree (you'll never match with anyone else 100 percent.) based on what you DO have control over(perception, mentality, morals, tastes, habits, hobbies, routines, desires, goals, ACTIONS)

domdomdom333 · 2024-03-12T09:41:49+00:00

Whilst we have to do our part in a relationship I'll agree. Women these days have had far more experience, learned more than us, are far more creative and passionate about an "ideal" relationship that they'll be the ones who can make things feel fresh cause many of us will be happy with the status quo.

emorizoti · 2024-03-12T11:12:38+00:00

Yes but this should much later. At the initial phase it's the guy who should lovebomb her and show the interest, build up tension and chase her until she falls for it. Not a trick or how to manipulate women. This is universal for the most animals, where the male has to chase and show off their mating skills or colors. It's different for all of the species but the basis and the goal is the same, to produce offsprings and provide for them. So yeah she has to like you more, but after you seduced her and she actually got attached.

SteveSan82 · 2024-03-12T11:55:34+00:00

Very true. I just had to end a relationship of almost 5 months because of this. I’ve known that I was more into her than she was into me. The damage was done so I ended it. It hurts but I had to be realistic.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-03-12T12:25:03+00:00

Women attachment is mostly emotional and thus she has to feel it all the time to see value in relationship. When feels kick in they outweigh everything else in woman's decision making - she will already be fantasizing about perfect family life with a new dude and existing partner is no longer a person of much value to her.

Most men, on the other hand, won't instantly fall in love with someone they get even extremely horny for and will try resisting the temptation by weighing their current life status against new relationship potential, thus they will leave if they think that life with new gal has potential to be objectively (with a bit of emotional reaction skewing the perception) better.

Though some may cheat just for sex even if they value comfortable life with existing partner more if they believe they can get away with it and preserve the current family.

tl;dr: keep your wife emotionally engaged, keep your husband comfortable (and making him believe that you can sniff out any cheating won't hurt).

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-03-12T14:46:57+00:00

Honestly, I would have to agree. I don’t think anyone wants to be the person that is less interested even if it’s by a one, percentile however I have personally found my most successful relationship is when I’m obsessed over my partner of course it started out where he was more interested in me, but I think both of us do betterthe other way around

Myagooshki2 · 2024-03-12T15:03:46+00:00

It CAN be the case. There's a lot of other factors that go into it.

Going to clubs and doing pickup is better than online dating. IRL scenarios tingle lady bits. Online ones usually don't.

Ultimately you probably want to find long term partners in places other than bars. Bars are like test dummies where you practice psychology.

Somebody else in here said

"Feelings are a fickle thing and dissipate with time. Many men who are on a logical side of thinking are perfectly capable of living happily with women they have lukewarm feelings to if he views her presence in his life as an integral part and cherishes years of memories he has created with her when feelings were warmer."

This is also valid if that's how you feel.

Stunning_Duck_373 · 2024-03-12T15:38:49+00:00

It's over.

YveisGrey · 2024-03-12T17:53:51+00:00

Idk ime never seen this work long term

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-03-12T19:16:02+00:00

A man displaying what a woman perceives as greater investment in her than she has in him is a recipe for disaster. That relationship is doomed to misery and probably will fall apart. The opposite dynamic can at least work.

That said, the best relationship is when both are super into each other, can't get enough of each other, and don't bother to keep score on things like this.

izoldetales · 2024-03-13T01:08:07+00:00

Modern men are more emotional than previous men so it should be normal for modern relationship to follow this model to work. Modern men value their emotions while modern women value their gender and aren't educated about romantic relationships therefore they need to love the man more since It's the only contribution they can offer to compensate their emotional ignorance .

People still project the positive traits previous women had on modern women when modern women are nothing like them.

Modern women:" we're women so we will love hard "

Also modern women:" we aren't feminine "

g-panda101 · 2024-03-13T04:12:36+00:00

Yes! This is my on going theory. Every successful relationship I see it's the woman coaxing the guy into chasing her

apresonly · 2024-03-13T21:40:34+00:00

same advice works for women

men who don't like you more than you like them will never treat you well

BiffTannenCA · 2024-03-13T22:07:11+00:00

The man described in the OP is the one who ends up dating controlling fat woman.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2024-03-15T20:47:42+00:00

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Was fuckin around for shits and giggles

Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2024-03-16T14:53:40+00:00

So this is so much to unpack and more complicated than it seems.

If she is sexually attracted to you, it is more like being benched. You can still get in the game. You’re on the bench.

The friend zone most men seem to describe it is the hell of being a sexually unattractive orbiter. You will never play.

Some women DO NOT KNOW THEMSELVES if you are on their bench or in their friend zone. Simply because the bench was never named.

It’s hard to tell if someone will play the game if they are benched. It is 100% obvious that someone will NOT play the game if they are sexually unattractive.

If you orbit her (in her proximity) but you are not close enough to be placed yet then it’s still possible you are sexually attractive.

The most important piece is: You Must Be Sexually Attractive. Regardless of where you are in the process. Otherwise you will fruitlessly orbit and be friend zoned. They will take your meal tickets and nothing else.

Healthy, well-adjusted and unheartbroken women (even if they have walls up) with a conscience: will not put men in the friend zone without Explicitly Detailing that it is what they are doing.

There is a very very little shred of hope for going from sexually unattractive to sexually attractive through the friend zone. It’s called QPR. The intimacy will make you more attractive. However you would also be up against any men on the bench going through a similar or same process.

Depending on how much of your own time you are willing to waste, you might choose to stick around even though you are not sexually attractive to her. I would recommend to only go for women who can at least tell you Objectively that you are handsome. They may not feel it right now or be willing to act on it but as long as they Acknowledge you have it, you’re safe

The emotional validation you are talking about is for insecure people. You should not need your partner to tell you that you are sexy to feel sexy. However if they stop seducing you, it could hit your self-esteem and start to make you feel ugly until you feel dissatisfied and leave. So while not seducing her enough can lose her…it’s not the only thing that is going to keep her. Women want more or different things from relationships than men. Women want to feel safe, loved, cherished. Ideally with a partner who is Equally Obsessed with them.

However I am not sure if matching that energy make for the lifelong perfect couple, or if it kinda cancels out like interference. Does it cancel or build and become bigger? Still a mystery

Traditional_Crew6617 · 2024-03-12T00:21:26+00:00

Yeah, no. That's not right to do to a woman. There is a balance. You just have to work at it. My wife and I are proof of that

CoffinEluder · 2024-03-11T23:30:56+00:00

In the wise words of Coach Wayne: “she has to more into you than you are into her”

The_Forgotten001 · 2024-03-11T23:19:04+00:00

Don't stick your dick in crazy, even if she's into you.

Slow-Formal3608 · 2024-03-12T02:55:36+00:00

I wholeheartedly disagree. I have been in multiple situations where I have liked the guy way more and it always backfired on me each time. I think at best, both of them should like each other equally, if not the man has to SLIGHTLY like the girl more. This is because men and just operate differently emotionally than women do. And when tend to be more emotionally attached. This takes a lot of mental and emotional energy from a girl and it a guy is not reciprocating that or even liking her more, it’s like the girl is working overtime in the relationship and is just fighting for his attention.

Wolfboy909 · 2024-03-12T14:01:18+00:00

This is probably the only post I've ever read on PurplePillDebate that I've actually agreed with.

Finding_Myway · 2024-03-13T16:03:21+00:00

I have experienced and witnessed this first hand as the guy who was head over heels and chasing the girl and also experienced when a girl just liked me for me.

Real talk though, the latter is far better from my personal experience.

Browsing through the comments there sure are a lot of angry women replying saying that if men have power that they will just abuse etc... Kinda says it all doesn't it?

Ok_entropy · 2024-03-12T00:48:35+00:00

lol I think your problem is thinking that all women are the same people. You guys constantly try and apply blanket theories and strategies to every single women. They aren't manufactured by a factory.

Here's advice no one on this sub will appreciate. To get to know what any one woman or man wants or what makes things work in a relationship with them you have to get to know them. Intimately. Like, that's the point.

HotChiTea · 2024-03-12T00:00:11+00:00

No, has to be the man that likes you more but preferably it’s better when it’s equal.

JonMyMon · 2024-03-12T01:09:01+00:00

That sounds shitty tho. Imma search for something more equal, but you have wearing that mask

Fantastic-Age-5598 · 2024-03-12T03:12:50+00:00

Why not date someone who likes you just as much as you like em?

obviousredflag · 2024-03-12T10:39:56+00:00

Guys often think it's the other way which has been proven wrong many times where they get put in the friend-zone or labeled as the "nice guy"

Men in the friend-zone never had a romantic relationship with the woman in the first place. It's irrelevant if one person is in love with the other if it's not mutual. This is not an example of the man liking her more.

The best relationships are certainly not ones where there is a strong inequality in how much the partners like/love/are emotionally attached to each other. If you don't like your gf that much, there is a high chance that you will come across someone who you like more and then want to be with them. People don't optimize around who loves them the most, or you would see a lot of very unequal relationships.

Women always look for emotional validation in the relationship, so knowing that she likes him more, it becomes easier for her to get that

WHAT? It's the opposite. If you want to get validated, it's im portant how much the other person likes you and not how much you like them.

In case you talk about that both partners love within their capabilities to 100%, but the woman's absolute amount of how much she loves her partner is higher because of being more emotional or just having higher amplitudes in feeling emotions related to love/partnership, then i don't think that matters as it is still maximum attachment for both, even if it would be "measured" at different insensity levels.

bluepvtstorm · 2024-03-12T13:22:04+00:00

Ok, let me explain it to you in the simplest way possible. Even if she likes you more in the beginning, your behavior will determine how that will continue.

One can be totally infatuated with someone and willing to kiss his toes until he does something that changes her mind then it’s done and it won’t come back.

Any excuse men can find to be in a position of power over women always comes back to them performing the bare minimum and that won’t cut it long term.

That emotional attachment has limits and men have a very difficult time nurturing that attachment which is why they always feel blindsided when a woman asks for a divorce. The emotional attachment that men so desperately crave isn’t an infinite well and it doesn’t get replenished with half ass effort. No matter how much more she loves you, it will degrade over time if the male partner isn’t do things to keep it healthy.

sixsevenrice · 2024-03-13T01:46:15+00:00

Women by default have infinitely more options than men. For that reason, she basically has to like you more or you're just a beta-cuck placeholder.

lvoncreek · 2024-03-12T06:07:19+00:00

This makes zero sense

Title	She has to like you more
Author	DarayRaven
Upvotes	171
Comments	310
Date	March 11, 2024 10:50 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bch20u/she_has_to_like_you_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/she-has-to-like-you-more.1426359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426359

Comments

"easier"