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_SAKE · 2021-11-05T14:57:31+00:00

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Hillman314 · 2021-11-05T16:36:15+00:00

How can “your number” have a singular meaning?

So , how would you compare a person who might have a high number of short time partners (intimate sex) with a person who had same amount of one night stands (probably bad sex)? I’m not judging, I’m just saying the numbers aren’t equivalent.

SaintsAndSailors · 2021-11-05T19:24:01+00:00

If she's telling the truth, seven is not a lot at her age, especially if they've been committed relationships.

You probably suffer from retroactive jealousy, so I recommend the work of Zachary Stockhill, who specializes in this condition. He's got a YouTube channel.

Honestly, based on your description of her, I think you've got a catch. Most women have a body count of around 20 in my experience. I'd say don't sweat it, but I know that's easier said than done.

insatiablecuriosity9 · 2021-11-05T16:49:32+00:00

Dude you’ll find uber woke people on here telling you not to care about it. Don’t listen to them. You’re not bad or wrong if it bothers you. And if it does bother you, make a decision accordingly. You cant change the number no matter what, so just live with it or find someone else.

ChattyBot7 · 2021-11-05T17:29:01+00:00

I think it's really not about the numbers in your case at least. Let's not put a label on this thing.

If I were in your place and I have a much less body count than she does, I'd be a bit anxious too but try to not revolve around that till your head spins.

I'd rather bring this up with her and ask her opinion on this whole body count thing and how she views and values the relationship you guys have. Basically making a judgment of who you're with, what she wants etc etc. Since you say she's mature, she should be more than willing to have this conversation with you. Maybe after her reply, you can draw your conclusions about your relationship with this woman rather than rejecting her because of her body count. Maybe she did have all those ONS and FWBs with those men when she really didn't want to date and be in a romantic relationship with anyone else. Maybe at that point in life, all she wanted was something physical. So talk to her is what I'd say.

MAGUS_CRAWDADUS · 2021-11-05T18:47:20+00:00

I’m 21 and I learned real quick don’t ask questions you don’t really want the answer to. What’s the past is the past.

GuaranteeOwn5108 · 2021-11-05T17:20:25+00:00

I’m a huge whore and to me or doesn’t matter the number of partners she’s had…. I never care to ask and I believe women lie about their number anyway because men from their past weren’t able to handle it.

willgo-waggins · 2021-11-05T17:58:55+00:00

I don’t ask and I don’t really care to know. I also never offer because the truth would make most react negatively while that number does not at all describe who I am as a person nor does it have anything to do with who I am or what is happening between me and that person.

Keep something in mind here (I’m going with an assumption that you are in the US since you said “college” and not “Uni”).

Our false puritanical moralism in the US dictates a total double standard for men and women. And this has not completely changed at all despite better and more open/educated attitudes today especially amongst younger people.

Women - even those being “honest” - are rarely truthful about their actual number of partners. They also will almost NEVER admit to ONS/casuals/rando hookups to a guy and especially a guy they are really interested/long term with. It’s that shaming/slut mentality that our society assigns that they fear moreso than “lying” so they just don’t mention. Any of those extra encounters.

There is also a lot of - no better word - bullshit tied in with this. High number count means that her pussy is loose, she’s a cheater, she’s too easy, she’s crazy. And on and on. All bullshit and nothing to do with reality.

I have also found that the women I have been with that insist on telling me their “number” usually seem to be doing so for an ulterior motive. What that is can be you name it. But it has never worked out to be anything that is beneficial to the relationship/interaction or me personally.

Ultimately your “need to know” stems from male jealously/possessiveness and is not something you should be bringing to the relationship table anyway as it is unhealthy and not fair to your partner to act that way. She’s not a possession, she is a partner. Treat her that way and you will be rewarded far more than otherwise.

As an example here I’ll use my current situation.

I have met a woman and we have feelings for each other but we are not ready for a “relationship” commitment beyond friends and lovers. And that includes that we may date or get together with others right now (although that’s not happening currently) and the fact that we both have an interest in bringing in another girl and possibly other couples into our sex life. Neither of us is anything close to virginal (lmao) and any person who has good sexual skills by nature will have to have had a fair amount of experience developing those skills. But we aren’t asking nor do we care. What matters most? When we are together, the sex is transcendent. She fits me like a glove and has been very clear that I am a perfect fit/partner/lover and that she has never enjoyed it this much before. And that’s all the really matters. We are into each other and enjoying our time together as us. The past is irrelevant because it’s done and gone and you cannot bring it back nor change it.

Enjoy her. Be with her. Be there for her. And don’t judge or let that ugly emotion of jealously ruin what could otherwise be a beautiful thing. You say she has been your friend for many years. Obviously you both feel there is a lot more than friendship there and you know who each other is. So focus on that and not a meaningless past that is complete and gone into the history books.

Mrstrawberry209 · 2021-11-05T19:17:00+00:00

I don't care. I do care if she still has close relationships with her exes.

Mysterious_Breath_53 · 2021-11-05T17:16:05+00:00

I don't care. Everyone lies about the number. Guys increase it and women decrease it. As long as she doesn't have STDs I don't give a damn.

Madonna whore complex bro. Let that go. That distinction doesn't exist. Every guy/woman will cheat if the opportunity presents itself (i.e: super attractive partner who you connect with).

KingofJKU · 2021-11-05T19:06:24+00:00

If you can't be honest at a basic level to tell you the true number how could you ever trust this person enough to live with them? I mean baggage from toxic past relationships is definitely a negative.

dobbs1997 · 2021-11-05T20:52:35+00:00

everybody’s definition of a high body count is different, for some it’s 5, for others it’s over 20, you gotta figure that out for yourself but generally as long as the person you’re dating is treating you right then you shouldn’t worry too much about it.

hulk_hogans_nutsweat · 2021-11-05T15:55:20+00:00

I’m not expecting a virgin but I also don’t want a woman who’s been fucked by the entire city. What would be a dealbreaker is if we’re heading into committed relationship territory and she lied about it. I don’t want a woman to tell me that she’s only slept with six guys and then some time later I find out that she’s slept with 100. If she’s willing to lie to me about that what else would she lie about?

I think that you should be honest with the person if you’re getting into a relationship and then they can decide if they want to continue with things. If it’s just a ONS or casual thing then it probably wouldn’t matter.

Pilk70 · 2021-11-05T14:55:22+00:00

I believe that you are being unrealistic about it and care way too much about the topic. I (male 50) stopped caring in my late teens about someone's sexual past.

Do you feel this way because she has had more partners than you?

dresdonbogart · 2021-11-05T20:14:12+00:00

People keep on talking about the mentality or whatever but 7 partners for being 29 is not a lot AT ALL. Like that’s very low, just ask your other male and female friends. She’s almost a prude with those numbers

Salomonik · 2021-11-05T20:55:52+00:00

Always x3 that number. I would say anything above 10 its not a long term material.

jbo99 · 2021-11-05T18:15:25+00:00

I don’t want to know

Edibl3Dreams · 2021-11-05T18:59:56+00:00

It doesn't matter, unless it lead to an STD or is indicative of a bigger problem like cheating, but 7 definitely isn't. If it was half that I'd be more worried about her wanting to explore other options she hasn't before.

bruce_maximo · 2021-11-05T19:17:57+00:00

The more partners…the less the pair bond. Women aren’t men. If it didn’t affect them, they wouldn’t need to hide their past lol. Don’t be a fool, you run background checks on employees and do a apprisasl before you buy a house. just know the less the better. Nothing ever good comes from lots of lots baggage lol

superchalupa · 2021-11-05T19:38:17+00:00

Let's show mathematically how many partners is "too many".

Let "N" be the number of past partners that they had before they met me. I would be "N+1", let's call that number "M".

We can mathematically represent the number that would be "too many" with the expression "M+1".

Caveats and limitations: any situation where they exceed M in a non-consentual manner is not covered. Any situation where they revisit N would not be covered.

Front_Objective9507 · 2021-11-05T19:14:59+00:00

Your girl sounds amazing and 7 bodies is nothing, but honestly numbers do matter otherwise people wouldnt lie about them and it goes to show how the person handles themselves, almost every woman has a ho phase at some point that's not a problem, I just feel it's about self control. if you was with a girl that screwed lets say 50 guys by the time she was 25 or even 30 would you really feel special about being with that person knowing half of your community has had access to her sacred parts, I see it as more of a status thing, no one wants the girl by their side who everyone else considers easy and had their way with already

West-Seaworthiness98 · 2021-11-05T19:07:13+00:00

I don't because I don't think about marriage unless she proves herself that she's marriage material.

She could have sex with 100 men and I won't care because I'm just trying to be #101 when I meet her.

Cheshire057 · 2021-11-05T19:11:17+00:00

37 dicks?!

thebigfishstick17 · 2021-11-05T19:38:26+00:00

I don’t care about how many people she’s slept with. More who’s she’s slept with. If she’s slept with one of by friends before than it’s most likely a no go in terms of dating.

Zicronblade0 · 2021-11-05T19:39:13+00:00

I've had mostly female friends my whole life and I can tell you by like 22 they were all in the several dozens so... (the conventionally attractive ones anyway. also the bi/gay ones were always WAY higher than the straights.) I think it really comes down to if they have dealt with their own shit or not. Like yes, extreme promiscuity tends to come from unresolved issues/ mental illneses but also we all like to make whoopie. I can't be a hypocrite either because hanging in those groups has allowed me to be a ho too. This is just my experience however so.

Max_Zero323 · 2021-11-05T19:50:34+00:00

I swear on both of my children’s lives I’ve only ever slept with 7 people, I’m 30, and I have sex at least once a day.

I’ve been with my SO now for ten years.

So I guess I’d say it’s totally plausible if she’s had several LT boyfriends

Luckyguy_10 · 2021-11-05T20:33:16+00:00

If it bothers you should brung people to have sex with her so it'll increasse that number

KrAzyDrummer · 2021-11-05T20:39:08+00:00

As long as it's more than 0, I really don't care.

The better question is how good are we together in bed? If the sex is great, then who cares about the rest.

adambombchannel · 2021-11-05T21:19:23+00:00

It's something that my ego worries about - but logically, I hope it's something I won't ruminate on in the future.

I think it would be best to be able to completely disregard it if all other factors like emotional and sexual compatibility were in line. I think you'll miss good opportunities dwelling on it like this.

2021-11-05T22:22:35+00:00

I am 21 and I have never met a woman whose bodycount was higher than half of mine and I didn't consider that as too much. If her body count is 1000, guess what? I don't care. As long as you don't lie about any STD's or sum and get tested regurlarly I won't judge you. To me that would be like judging someone for masturbating, it is just sex. They're just getting off and it is none of my business. I stay away from women who have been in a lot of relationships though, sex is one thing but calling a new guy the "lOvE oF yoUr LifE" every three months? That's a red flag for me. Also women who fuck a lot of guys for status and to feel "accepted" by them even though they don't find them attractive are a big turn off, that's pathetic and tells me she is hella insecure

erembrant · 2021-11-05T23:16:18+00:00

I think this gets too much attention. I have been with my wife for 14 years and I have no idea what "her number" is. Because I simply don't care.

DazzlingReference652 · 2021-11-05T23:33:25+00:00

No I don’t care, it’s in the past and I cannot judge anyone for having a past. 🙂 And I’m not sure what number is too high, lol.

Successful_Man_1982 · 2021-11-06T01:47:28+00:00

I don't know I personally feel that no number is too high or low especially if you two have an exclusive relationship now or otherwise have an agreed upon open relationship. "That number bothered me". What are you a twelve year old who's crushes first kiss with someone other than yourself. Grow up. She didn't even know you in her past her number of partners past or present is her own personal business. Either accept her for who she is as a human being and just enjoy and appreciate the time you get to spend with her or don't but geez what right does anyone have to judge anyone else's past besides God?

derekislegend · 2021-11-05T16:47:41+00:00

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want answers to”

If someone I’m dating asks me how many partners I’ve had I never tell them. First, since I don’t have any STDs its irrelevant information. Second, yes you’re overreacting to the number 7…she’s almost 30 years old and has had sex with people she was dating give her a break. Finally, you should probably take a look inward to see why her sexual history bothers you because the issue seems to be with you not her.

Blaphrodite · 2021-11-05T17:42:19+00:00

You’re being unrealistic. Think of your expectations as a man and how you project them on to women. She withholds sex, you call her a bitch and bolt after the first date. She has sex before the third date you start thinking she is a whore and counting bodies.

If sex is truly meaningless to most guys, who just want to get off with any available or hot woman at any costs, why should you want a chaste woman? Even if these were all relationships, they didn’t work out. Would you prefer she emotionally damaged herself by recycling sex with the exes? Or that she is a prude who just happens to be a Ho for you? Please dudes, get a grip. Seriously.
Stop asking about the body count. I’ve known men who resented that fact their partner had ANY sex before them. Despite these guys being community dick and said partner had only 1 boyfriend before.

No number but zero will make you happy. However given your own sexual expectations and experiences, you should not expect that number to be zero.

RProgrammerMan · 2021-11-05T17:19:21+00:00

I think in an ideal world both men and women would wait. It’s long term thinking versus short term thinking. To be successful in life it’s necessary to delay gratification. That being said there are lots of other aspects of a relationship that are probably more important. Like whether you enjoy each other’s company. Waiting means it’s more likely you’ll find a relationship based on long-term compatibility as opposed to physical attraction.

mariowilldoit · 2021-11-05T20:04:07+00:00

I only care about a clean bill of health.

dark_dagger99 · 2021-11-05T17:48:12+00:00

Doesn’t matter, I only care about the present

angyal168 · 2021-11-05T17:12:43+00:00

The number shouldn't bother you. I remember up until my early 20s I tended to care. Then I realized I was missing out on so much due to that hyperfocus. Be present in the present and hopeful for the future. Worrying about the past is a major waste of your time. Plus this means she may have some experience, dont think about where it may have come from, just enjoy it. Novelty of teaching someone wares thin quickly.

I go for 10 minimum. Over 50 is where I would raise an eye brow. I never ask and never answer.

Impossible-Debate832 · 2021-11-05T16:46:58+00:00

Sexual past and number of partners simply and definitely MATTERS - it is not point of perspective or opinion, but scientific fact. Sleeping around is leaving permanent consequence to your mental health, your perspective regarding sex, relationships, potential partners and so much more...

People saying things like "iT dOeSNt maTTeR At AlL" are basically coping, and no amount of downvotes won't change that fact.

HandsomeHerb · 2021-11-05T18:33:45+00:00

Wouldn’t care unless I was planning to marry the woman

Alextryingforgrate · 2021-11-05T20:51:06+00:00

Dont ask questions you dont want to know the answer to. If it makes you uncomfortable to know you really shouldnt ask.

dobbs1997 · 2021-11-05T20:55:36+00:00

don’t let the number make you feel insecure, that was the past & like i said in another comment, as long as she’s a person who brings you value then don’t trip about it…either way you’ll never truly know a woman’s sexual past, some people don’t tell the full truth about it and that’s just what it is, don’t worry..the past is the past, focus on the Now & how she treats you and how you two connect, don’t be one of those dudes who let’s a woman’s sexual past ruin the situation you have with her now.

Voltz_got_a_potato · 2021-11-05T22:09:03+00:00

I have read a couple of your responses OP and when you said that she's 'demisexual' it made it more easier to give my take on this issue that you are having. I come from Asia and was also bought up in a conservative household where any really intimate kissing scenes on T.V (during my younger years) would just be changed to a different channel by either of my parents. I have thought a lot about casual dating and just couldn't wrap my head around it because I have accepted the culture that is completely opposite to this. I believe I'm a demisexual too and adding to it that I haven't been in a relationship before (20M) for my personal reasons. I do have OCD relating to my future S/O being in casual dating since that would be a deal-breaker for me. I have gotten over it mostly by just accepting who I am and how that preference of no casual dating comes into play.

I suspect what you are going through is retroactive jealousy as well. You two have a long friendship, know each other a lot, it makes this relationship really more valuable also because you two genuinely wanted to date each other and weren't just chasing after the label of being in a 'relationship'. Demisexuals are conservative about sex and I am hoping to find myself one soon like the girl you are dating OP. Remember in such scenarios it's not just the body count that matters, it is also what values and morals does that person bring on the topic of their sexuality. It is perfectly fine in the current dating scene for a woman to have more experience in dating than a man considering we grow into a better body and it comes naturally to them in the early stages. It is what the gender is, they have it easier because men in early stages 'just' want a girlfriend and not 'why' they want them without being shallow. It will only then be wrong when she shames you for it or uses it against you, it shows that she doesn't respect you for your inexperience (if that's the case here) and then it's completely rational for you to leave. If she doesn't have a problem with you being you then understand who she is and accept it since you two are in a relationship and have feelings for each other, you two care for each other and it is definitely leading towards a positive conclusion.

Low-Faithlessness848 · 2021-11-05T22:44:48+00:00

Fear of that number comes from your own insecurities. You go - if they’re experienced they could be judging my ability.

News flash - if they have a high number and choose you, that’s a compliment to YOU.

Contango6969 · 2021-11-05T23:43:42+00:00

Most women would lie about this with a gun to their head. Don’t dwell on it at all cause you’ll never get the truth anyway. And it’s just not really productive

chatpal91 · 2021-11-05T23:52:12+00:00

edit: Reminder. Sort by controversial if you want a healthy balance of opinions. Redditors have no self control and will downvote anything they disagree with. You will not get a healthy balance of perspectives if you just sort by best and start scrolling down.

ITT white knights and women coping about body count numbers

Men lie and say they have a higher body count than they actually do (because for men it supposedly says something about your sexual value, game, worthiness in the eyes of women, experience, etc).

Women lie and say they have a lower body count than they actually do (because for women it says something about your discipline, your ability to maintain 'purity', have self worth without the need for external validation etc).

Anyway OP, it's not an easy question to answer. Women have the luxury of extremely easy access to sex, and incredible amounts of free attention. Often the younger and more beautiful the woman, the more free attention available.

You're going to have to do your best to judge the effort she's putting into the relationship, the attraction she seems to have for you, how much she puts herself out there on social media for validation, how much she 'tolerates' attention and moves from other men, etc.. all while you'll have to work on being self aware and controlling your own insecurities, and stop yourself from jumping to conclusions.

Women are dishonest about their sexual past (because despite the predictable circle jerk on reddit about it being something that doesn't matter.. women know that it matters.) Women lie about it because they know it matters. But if her real number genuinely is 7 by that age, that's not the end of the world by any means.

Others here have pointed out the fact that one night stand body counts are "worse" in the frame of judgement by men than relationship body counts.

Best of luck to you OP. Work on yourself, check your own insecurities(but do NOT ignore your gut instinct), and most of all, take the advice here with a grain of salt.. mine included.

More-Cranberry3323 · 2021-11-05T23:59:52+00:00

Sometimes you’re just gonna feel uncomfortable no matter what. Some people are able to not care while others are more prone to feeling jealousy. Wether it’s 1 or 20.

I’m one of those people. My current girlfriend was a virgin before we met (17 & 18 our first time together). But I still feel myself getting uncomfortable with the fact that she fooled around with one person before me.

Before her I had dated a girl who had a pretty high body count but I didn’t really give a shit because I knew we were just passing time.

If your love and connection with her is strong you’re going to feel a lot of uncomfortable emotions. But it’s your responsibility as an adult to work through those emotions on your own and not let if effect your relationship. Especially since you guys are in your late 20’s.

I’m currently working through those same emotions myself.

You can’t change the fact that she was a normal adult human before she met you. I’m assuming you weren’t a virgin before you met her, and she may feel those emotions too but it’s easier for women to suppress those feelings because society tells them it’s normal for us to have a high body count. Plus, I’d say 7 is pretty low for a woman in her late 20’s. You’re lucky man.

vLeskur · 2021-11-06T00:07:22+00:00

Im 18 and i know of girls that already got drilled by like 15 guys so, for a person nearing 30, i think 7 is alright. Thats approximately a 2 year long relationship with every partner, and its really unrealistic to expect someone to not have sex in 2 years. Id be more concerned about her personality and why she has had so many failed relationships. Girls with stabilty like you describe her tend to be very prideful and kind of egoistic/narcissistic at times, so watch out for those red flags because her bodies are not an issue here.

ApollosSin · 2021-11-06T00:18:07+00:00

lmao what a high number imo is like 20+ in your twenties.

I'm only 23 and im already on 7 lol. Seven is a low number

swhatrulookinat · 2021-11-06T00:26:38+00:00

A little but shes mine now so I win.

canuckle1211 · 2021-11-06T00:29:31+00:00

As a guy, over 10 raises my concerns, over 20 is likely not gonna be my life partner. Having said all that, it’s all situational

CherryPieNeko · 2021-11-06T00:35:21+00:00

I've only been with two that includes my current partner. My partner has been with 5 or 6 I believe and idc. We just both got tested before we started having sex.

Thepurge101 · 2021-11-06T01:11:58+00:00

Im 30, male. Been with between 15-25 women, I lost count, im not one who tried to sleep around persay. I remember years back reading a study that said the average person has 7 sexual partners in their lifetime.

Equivalent_Current_3 · 2021-11-06T01:36:48+00:00

Controversial opinion here. I am waiting for marriage and want a girl who is doing the same.

Why am I here then?

The advice and support is good for me. I am just looking to get a girls number for now. Let the dating and other stuff come after I get a number.

llanojen · 2021-11-06T02:05:01+00:00

I don't ask and don't tell. It's ridiculous. As long as they're healthy, whatever someone did before you is their business.

erenbajracharya · 2021-11-06T03:26:35+00:00

For me (27M) I'm somewhere in my 30's and recently I have felt like I'm in a good number.

For me (27) I'm somewhere in my 30's and recently I have felt like I'm in a good number.t I wasn't the best at sex and foreplay but now I can easily react to the situation(after fucking once I can usually know what someone would enjoy the most) when recently more and more of my newer partners have complimented me.
to answer your question 5-10 would be low 20-30 average and andy 3 digit would be high. (life goal to reach 3 digits ) also if u can't tell kinda a fuck boy/ open relationship person.

recyclablebanthas · 2021-11-06T05:06:16+00:00

1

Hi all, 29(m) here and curious as to how many of you truly care about sexual past of women you are considering dating? I see a ton of posts on Reddit stating that "it doesn't matter"

I would advise you to please check the pinned post at the top of the subreddit.

And ask yourself how does asking this question or its answer give you an advantage in dating?

2

For those of you in your upper 20's nearing 30, what do you consider low range, average range, and high range of past partners?

Why does it matter to you what other people think is a big or small number?

Why does the number matter at all?

I submit to you that being focused on this number is a function of insecurity. No number will satisfy in this situation.

0? Then she's likely to suck in bed.
Anything larger than zero? And you're constantly going to be comparing yourself to whoever those mysterious people were.

It's pointless to be focused on this number because it doesn't help you do anything other than feed your security.

3

It seems for me (living in the U.S.) that I rarely find anyone who has had less than 10 partners at the age of 30.

People with experience are more likely to have a good idea of how to have fun in bed. Provided they're clean of STDs, there shouldn't be any concern for you here.

4

Currently seeing a woman who is 29 years old and has been with 7 people.... However that number bothers me and Idk if I'm being unrealistic.

You're feeding your insecurity. You need to have a long conversation with yourself about why this number should matter at all. None of these guys are in the picture now.

And once again, this number has absolutely nothing to do with dating success so this post doesn't really belong in this subreddit.

5

Lastly: I don't care about this number myself and I don't ask.

I also don't talk about my own number because it's irrelevant to whoever I'm dating at the time.

Although I think you could discuss your own number with someone you trust, in general it's a pretty bad idea to bring your number up with anyone unless you really have a good, solid relationship built up.

TheRealAlkemyst · 2021-11-05T18:16:33+00:00

If she's been sexually active since 16, I highly doubt only 7 partners in 13 years. Be careful because some women don't count sex with a condom or sex where a man cums outside them. They have some strange rules to lower the numbers.

In general assume a women will have new partner every 1-3 months when not in a relationship if they are actively looking.

Most women will never be honest about their numbers as both too low and too high cause them grief. I knew one woman that claimed only 3 partners when I met her (we had sex after that) then when I met her again 10 years later she brought up that same number unsolicited. After we had sex again, I mentioned to her she told me that same story about 10 years prior. She had no recollection of me.

whiplash81 · 2021-11-05T17:16:32+00:00

I don't care what her number is as long as she practices safe sex

Still_Falls_The_Rain · 2021-11-05T21:41:32+00:00

Personally if I'm in the market for wife material, I'm paying attention to sexual past as I believe it's significant to whether or not this girl has loyalty issues.

Any number over 4 partners is too much before 30 for a wifey, I better be the 5th and last if that's the case. The lower the number the better.

Good luck finding out the answer to that question without some serious creeping though. If you get close enough to this girl to find out her real number, you're probably deep in the feels at that point anyways and will be less likely to care.

I've been with a girl for 4 years now and her number keeps changing lmao started at 4 and has gone down progressively over time hahahah

SorroWulf · 2021-11-05T17:53:43+00:00

I think you're being highly unrealistic. I've only met a few people who've had less than 5 sexual partners (and most of them grew up ultra-conservative or repressed and now have a variety of issues revolving around sex/sexuality which seem to negatively impact their sex life [whether with a committed partner or not])

I'd say the median number from the people I know is between about 7-10. I know a few who's average relationship lasts close to 6 years, so their number is lower, I think 3 year relationships are about average pre-marriage.

I think the conservative stigma around multiple partners is almost always really sexist, and the modern view of purity is bullshit. When the bible was written there were no modern medicine or STD prevention methods.

Winter-Survey3668 · 2021-11-05T18:22:13+00:00

(26M) The only thing that's important would be if they have an std that they are gonna transmit to you. Body count is just a number. Why would you let a number that says nothing about a person become an obstacle in a relationship? Kinda sounds like you are just upset that she's had sex with other people but everyone has a past 🤷‍♂️

Luchostil · 2021-11-05T16:08:35+00:00

Does not matter at all

YoMiner · 2021-11-05T19:51:48+00:00

I'm 31, and at last count my "number" is 62.

Personally, I have zero interest in virgins. If I met someone that had never had sex, I would likely lose interest. If they've only been with a handful, I hope that several of those individuals were at least relatively kinky, because I get really tired of having to do all the teaching/introduction work every time I find someone new.

"Low" to me is single digits. High would be probably above 150, depending on age. I really don't have an upper limit for what I consider acceptable though.

PracticalPage615 · 2021-11-05T16:31:22+00:00

I do personally care. This is a problem that only grows worse as the burden becomes harder to cope with. I now cycle girls out and holding off committing/marrying until I find a girl who I can stomach their past. Aka virgin girl who has good morales and personality. I’m 23 it’s uncommon to find a girl who hasn’t ran through hole basketball teams 5+. Even tho in the cycle of girls I have they weren’t virgins and I know my proportion is top notch it doesn’t take away the pain I feel knowing that they shared something so special with another male. They were willing to risk getting pregnant by another. That is something I cannot stomach quiet yet and refuse to allow someone else’s standards to dictate my own. If you aren’t content with it mate that’s who you are accept it and don’t settle. Life is too short. That and virgin girls do exist lol but if you aren’t putting in the work searching for one than don’t expect it. Good things in life require work research and dedication. If u go to a local bar or club probably not the #1 places to find a wife.

Shadowasders23 · 2021-11-05T18:24:53+00:00

Y’all really on some wack shit in here, who cares how many people someone has slept with, it truly doesn’t matter unless while they’re in a relationship with you they’re sleeping with someone else. If they choose you to be with, out of 10,20,50, or 100 partners that means in some way you’re better than all of them. Take the ego boost, lose the toxicity

iambabyshark · 2021-11-05T15:03:00+00:00

In this day and age, you'd be hardpressed to find a girl over the age of 18 who's a virgin, religious girls aside. While it does matter, I'd say that as long as she's slept with less guys than her age - 16, she's good. Any number higher than that could imply that she's quick to have sex on a dime and thus is bad relationship material

2curiousbynature · 2021-11-05T17:03:23+00:00

The average adult in the US sleeps with 7-15 people in their life. It seems like the current "young people" (under 25), will likely be the reason that we need to change those stats. I've encountered many teens that have already passed the high average number. Imo, it's sad. Unless you can imagine spending the rest of your life with a person, don't have sex with them. It takes 18 LONG years to raise a child, but you'll encounter each other for the rest of your lives.

You're also complaining about her number being 7, but yours is 22? You're the PROBLEM. She was in a relationship and had an emotional connection when she chose to have sex. Do you even know the last names of every woman you've been with? 🤦‍♀️ Seriously, get over yourself.

dark_helmt8 · 2021-11-05T15:40:41+00:00

Depends on what you're trying to do. If you're looking for a relationship toward marriage, find a virgin or as close to 0 as possible. So you'll aim for younger girls. If you're looking for lays, then it doesn't matter much expect the higher the count, usually the better the sex but shorter time things will last between you.

sharxbyte · 2021-11-05T16:59:41+00:00

If you love your partner that includes whatever made them who they are. If you can't accept their past experiences, you don't love them, you love the idea of them.

bonsaiiiiiii · 2021-11-05T17:28:08+00:00

I haven’t asked that question in years. Kind of an immature thing once you get past a certain age. We’ll call that age 22-24

anoyingprophet · 2021-11-05T17:53:04+00:00

I'm a 25 yr old man, and to be completely transparent with you, until I knew I was good at sex, I cared. Once I realized I Know how to satisfy a girl, the number didn't matter. I think prior to that, I had a slight insecurity that I didn't even notice. What I care about more isn't the number of sex partners, but how those partners came about. For example, I wouldn't date a girl who was a sex worker or a girl who Is know for cheating and gold digging. Also, I think that most guys that care alot, unless they're religious or something, they deep down haven't proven to themselves they can bring it sexually. Sounds cringe ik lol. But once you have sexual confidence, you'll stop thinking about these things as much and care more about more important details. Such as chemistry and what kind of person she actually is.

pokemonpokemonmario · 2021-11-05T18:02:59+00:00

Yeah as a man you want your partner to have a low body count. A low number is 20 or less. High is 100 or more.

dswagg87 · 2021-11-05T19:54:28+00:00

How can you confirm her body count? My rule is to always multiply by 2 for women and divide by 2 for men lol

erickacrites · 2021-11-05T20:03:22+00:00

Her number is way too low imo.

JustSitnHereWaiting · 2021-11-05T20:52:59+00:00

I am old, 50. I have Asperger's. I say these because I've never understood why the number matters. I never asked anyone what they're number is. I've never told the exact amount that I've slept with. Why? Because you have chose the person you are with. It is that person you have to please in bed, and not who they were with before. And comparing yourself to who they had slept with before just causes anxiety that shouldn't matter. Listen to your partner, make them happy, and let them know that you don't care who they were with, and I promise you, most will appreciate it more that you care more to please them than who pleased or didn't please them before. The past only matters when an STD is involved. And even that can be worked around in most cases. Anyway, expecting a bunch telling me I'm an idiot. Oh, well.

youallsuck40 · 2021-11-05T23:00:05+00:00

Why does it just matter for women? So it’s ok for me to have a lot of sexual partners but not women? It doesn’t matter and it’s none of your business who your partner was with with before you or how many ppl they were with period. You need to grow up. I’m shocked this is coming from a 30yr old adult

SuperHanssssss · 2021-11-05T23:24:08+00:00

Who gives a fuck. The past was then. The present is now. Don't throw away a good relationship over nothing.

kingbeem · 2021-11-06T00:36:26+00:00

Dude unless she has something she needs to disclose to you (i.e. STD or a crazy ex) you shouldn't need to care. The only thing you need to worry about is that the number doesn't go up while you two are together. Honestly knowing that number will likely give a lot of guys insecurity that they don't need tbh. Don't set the relationship up to psych yourself out.

kumori_77 · 2021-11-05T16:12:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Finessence · 2021-11-05T17:02:05+00:00

I’ve never asked and I’ve never told. I had a girl ask once and I told her if she needs to know due to sexual health, I would tell her only under the strictest secrecy because we have a lot of mutual friends. She declined to know my number.

ItachiShaikh · 2021-11-05T18:05:30+00:00

Women lie about their body count all the time. So if you think 7 is bad, try adding 10 more to that. My advice is, just don't inquire about it and live in blissful ignorance. For your own mental security.

Cheers bud 🍻

Jdaddyk07 · 2021-11-05T16:38:09+00:00

A key which opens many locks is a valuable key. A lock which is opened by many keys, well, people don’t buy those locks…

Facts

KingOfNeptune · 2021-11-05T19:02:34+00:00

The brainwashing in this thread is strong.

This idea that you shouldn’t be bothered by her sexual past is part of the neoliberal propaganda bullshit machine. Women having insanely high standards is encouraged and celebrated. But the moment a man has a dating preference, everyone gets out their pitchforks.

Men and women’s sexual value comes from different places. Men are valued by women for their status and wealth. Women are valued by men for their youth and health and purity. It is normal and natural and good to care about your partner’s sexual past.

The more men a woman sleeps with, the less sacred and special intimacy is to her.

I believe the formula is this: (her age - 10) / 5 = number of acceptable partners

Agreable_Actuator84 · 2021-11-05T17:06:22+00:00

All things equal, of course it matters. If you had two options you equally liked in all aspects except partner count, as a guy you’d choose the lower number partner to marry and mother your children. But life rarely is that simple and people vary across so many other qualities that partner count becomes one of many factors.

What are your other options? You may not find someone with less at her age, most will have more. If you do have less they may have low libido or something. It’s your life, only you get to chose how you live it. Nothing wrong with accepting her as she is, nothing wrong with moving on.

HandsomeHerb · 2021-11-05T21:04:59+00:00

if it takes more than 2 hands to count its too many

bufffrog · 2021-11-05T17:04:34+00:00

It is logical to correlate high numbers with your own relationship being short-term, it is however courteous to give it a fair shot first.

Desmiondo · 2021-11-05T17:25:40+00:00

It depends I personally don't care But a lot of guys are self-conscious about it so they prefer a girl with less partners. If your looking for a wife, however than yeah you should pay attention since the less partners a women has the lower chances of divorce.

ItachiShaikh · 2021-11-05T18:21:16+00:00

To me it matters a lot. There are some things about individuals that do not change. I don't want a promiscuous woman to upbring my children.

Hindu_Kirby · 2021-11-05T18:35:37+00:00

Any number after 0

XanthicStatue · 2021-11-05T19:03:58+00:00

Dude you’re being super unrealistic, very immature, and extremely insecure. Get over it or dump for a virgin. A realistic number is 3-4 partners per year.

politits · 2021-11-05T19:35:23+00:00

You are being unrealistic, unnecessarily judge mental, and a misogynistic hypocrite. If you could have slept with a different attractive woman every day of your life you would have. Stop having double standards. Body count doesn’t matter. Judge someone by their character and how they treat you and others. That’s it.

SithLordJediMaster · 2021-11-05T19:37:53+00:00

"Where can a man find a virtuous woman? For she is far above rubies." - Proverbs 31:10

kanyesbathroommirror · 2021-11-05T20:14:18+00:00

This sub: "I've slept with over 200 women AmA"

Also this sub: oMg tHiS aTtRAcTiVe wOmAn HaS hAd 7 pArTneRs 😭😭😭

UrFavPlayerIsBack · 2021-11-05T20:16:03+00:00

If you’re not willing to wife her, then doesn’t matter

PerspectiveBig1327 · 2021-11-05T20:38:38+00:00

Of all the girl friends I’ve had, the ones who were more repressed, settled down early, and only had a few partners were most likely to cheat. Maybe it’s just a different way of looking at it. But you don’t know what you’re missing out on if you’ve never had it. Women live secret lives when they’re forced to hide parts of themselves or are repressed. So it comes out in the wash anyways. The most important thing is that she knows herself and healthily is engages with her sexuality. If she is confident, happy, and healthy, her body count really won’t matter.

bbcSnowbunnyslayer · 2021-11-05T21:07:52+00:00

Its none of your buisness unless you contract an STD or STI. She's not a car so don't ask for the CarFax.

spandexgod · 2021-11-05T21:39:40+00:00

To quote chris rock “never ask, cause u dont wanna know. Just be happy ur fucking her now. there is no number good enough for u, she could say 2. ‘TWO?!! Two!! Two! Guess that’s just how you was raised”

sbseltzer · 2021-11-05T21:57:35+00:00

I don't see the problem with someone having a lot of past partners or sexual encounters. It's probably worth asking yourself why it specifically matters to you.

fr0ntsight · 2021-11-05T22:43:52+00:00

Yeah it matters to me. When I asked my last girlfriend (before she became my girlfriend) after our 2nd or 3rd date she said "how many have you had?". I said about 8-10ish and she said me too. We were about 26 at the time. About a month into our relationship I noticed her phone literally only had guy's numbers and all of her pictures were with guy's. I asked her if she was being honest about the number and she admitted that she lied. Apparently she had been with about 30 before she even graduated highschool and guessed she was somewhere around 50ish....I thought she was still lying and at that point I didn't even want to know the real number. We are no longer together. I couldn't ever really trust her.

Don't start relationships based on a lie.

youallsuck40 · 2021-11-05T23:02:51+00:00

I can tell you I’ve never once in my life though about any of my SO’s sexual partners before me. Why would I?

youallsuck40 · 2021-11-05T23:04:10+00:00

I forgot this sub is full of red pilled idiots that think they are God’s gift. Completely one of the most toxic subs filled with toxic men that aint shit

LA_17 · 2021-11-05T23:50:01+00:00

Dawg, if 7 bothers you, you’re being unrealistic.

getting-harder · 2021-11-06T01:22:20+00:00

'Ignorance is bliss'

PresentAlternative48 · 2021-11-06T01:28:29+00:00

Yikes. Under 10 and you’re concerned? Sad

scenesick2 · 2021-11-06T01:44:43+00:00

you cant really judge them on their past, you can't change it , they're also different people now

frangg02 · 2021-11-05T21:06:26+00:00

https://youtu.be/zywIR_ZFLts

oscarony · 2021-11-05T18:53:47+00:00

if she has over 15 different bodies (or over 4 different long term relationships) then i can’t ever consider her my girlfriend

if she has over 5 bodies (or more than 3 different LTRs) then i would never ask her to marry me

CenaSmackDown · 2021-11-05T20:24:18+00:00

When I was younger I hooked up with a 21yo girl that said she'd already blown like 50 guys. Gross

2021-11-05T15:00:28+00:00

[permanently deleted]

bigheadmushroom · 2021-11-05T17:19:43+00:00

If she says just 7, I bet she meant 77

snowdude11 · 2021-11-05T16:47:52+00:00

I have slept with roughly 22 compared to her 7

Are you serious dude.... You have 3 times as many sexual partners but you not sure if she is "holy" or "pure" enough to be wife material. You are a massive hypocrite

She's been a friend of mine for many years, intelligent, mature, great job, and seems reserved

So she is an absolute catch, but your toxicity is preventing you from seeing that. Honestly would recommend moving on because she doesn't deserve your slut-shaming BS. Who cares what a bunch of internet strangers have to say about it.

gangweedsavedme · 2021-11-05T16:25:20+00:00

Above 5 is a red flag

tryhardpro7 · 2021-11-05T18:37:05+00:00

If shes a girlfriend 100+ is still not a problem

If shes going to be your wife then even 2+ is toooooooo high

SpookyKG · 2021-11-05T21:26:21+00:00

You're not being 'unrealistic' - you're being judgey and lame. You haven't discussed your number. You probably wish you had one partner for every 2 years of active dating life.

You're just being judgey and you should work on yourself - its a you problem, not a her problem.

bridgetthebanker · 2021-11-05T15:04:06+00:00

Please tell me you are not asking these women how many people they have been with?!? Jesus Christ. It’s none of your business!!!!!

BobbyJoeMcgee · 2021-11-05T17:10:14+00:00

It doesn’t matter.

thementalyogi · 2021-11-05T17:25:34+00:00

14,987,032

Narcan9 · 2021-11-05T19:46:03+00:00

Seven is the number of guys she admits to. Add another seven for the guys who "don't count".

Anyways, I care about a girl's past. I hope she's a freak with a strong sex drive. I'll pass on puritans, girls with hangups, and low drives.

DeadPlantOnASpeaker · 2021-11-05T20:16:58+00:00

See, all the people are different and take it different ways. Having couple of female drinking buddies I can tell couple of thing. They are not that different than we are when it comes to sex. If anything it's so much easier for them to have it when they want it. Some go through a "slut stage" in their life, all for different reasons just to find out what they want in life or curiosity.

Give an example, one girl is 29 and been with one guy for the past ten years, have a daughter with him, they live together and all. Perfect girl right? Her body count? 21

Mine count being this age was 4, all 2-4 years relationships. At the age of 30 you should expect some past. Or putting it the other way: are you still single at this age? There must be something wrong with you, right? 30yo virgin? Avoid as fire. Now that I'm almost 40 my body count is 17. And I don't think it's a high number considering how unsuccessful my dating life is.

So yeah, look at yourself first. Do you wish you shagged more girls at this point? Do you care about your current girl? How much any of your past girls means to you now? Past is the past. Sure, I'd wanted those missed opportunities to work out but that's life. And to be fair, if you are worried of her numbers, at this point, especially knowing her for years. One thing you didn't mentions is your number. What is it? She is well below average but are you? I'd gladly swap those one night stands for a one worthy woman. Emotional bond is what matters after all. Just don't ask her if she misses sex with her exes or the size of their dicks, there is the reason she's not with them anymore. Comprende?

the_bbutterfly · 2021-11-05T21:54:02+00:00

Don't know, don't care, never asked

justthinkingabout1 · 2021-11-05T22:09:40+00:00

You can’t make a hoe into a housewife

Glass_Supermarket_37 · 2021-11-05T23:08:28+00:00

Judging her for (what I consider) so few partners is more of an unfortunate reflection on your character than hers. She sounds pretty amazing and you're lucky to have her. Consider if she found out about this and it affected how she feels about you back, is this really something you want to be hung up on?

If you want a woman who's untouched maybe you would be happier in the middle east or marrying a 12 year old, that is where this kind of mindset seems to lead. Get your head out of that nonsense and appreciate that she is her own person with her own life and that she made you one of that number.

DanJDare · 2021-11-06T00:46:10+00:00

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST STOP WORRYING ABOUT THIS CRAP! DON'T ASK, DON'T WONDER, DON'T COMPARE YOURSELF JUST STOP!

This message brought to you by the society of dans over this shit.

Placated_Venom · 2021-11-06T01:26:23+00:00

As a man 10 is the absolute limit for me, and I've heard the same from plenty of other guys. There may be a little wiggle room, like maybe 11 or 12, maybe, but yeah not really past that

Canadian-Seductioner · 2021-11-05T15:10:21+00:00

I only care enough to make sure she has experience because sex with virgins or girls who don't know what they're doing sucks. Apart from that, as long as it's not excessively high (like maybe over 200 (unless she's a porn star or swinger)), I don't care what her number is.

It also depends on age too. A girl in her 20s over 200 would be off-putting. In her 30s would be questionable, but in her 40s I probably wouldn't blink an eye. It also depends on whether they're in the swinger lifestyle or not too since that tends to skew the numbers heavily.

MisterSisterFister12 · 2021-11-05T18:03:52+00:00

I absolutely care, because i have standards. 3 before me max.

AndThenThereWasOne0 · 2021-11-06T01:51:48+00:00

Yeah, I do. For me, I think more than two or three guys is too many

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-05T21:07:55+00:00

Nigga, at least admit that the only reason you are worried is that she may have come across a better dick than your dick. Be honest with yourself. That's the first step towards freedom.

BobbyJoeMcgee · 2021-11-05T17:11:47+00:00

I always figured if that topic is an issue then there must be some insecurities that will rear their head later. Doesn’t matter to me.

NowNLater69 · 2021-11-05T17:15:54+00:00

I guess it matters to some degree but I’m not all that positive that it has a negative impact unless the experiences were negative. Speaking from my own experience, sleeping around has made me a more confident lover, in both self esteem and ability. I’m a bisexual man and when I came into my sexuality, I went a little nuts. I kept track the year I came out but beyond that I don’t even know my number anymore because I stopped keeping track and I think it’s silly to bother with it. I remember the ones who were really good, the rest have faded away with time.

3SidedDie · 2021-11-05T17:23:36+00:00

Yup, but not as you think.

I like knowing what she likes, what she didnt like...

But numbers? Its just shows how much fun she had.

bribribooboo · 2021-11-05T17:49:45+00:00

In my experience, the people who have asked or care about a number are insecure that they won’t live up to the other people. IMO the number literally means nothing because I have not been in many relationships so my number is a little higher, but I know people who have been in relationships most of their life and while their number is lower than mine, they have had sex more times than me.

Least_Ticket2917 · 2021-11-05T17:56:02+00:00

No. It’s none of my business because I wasn’t in the picture, and there’s a good chance that I won’t like what I hear. Why ask questions I wouldn’t want the answer to? Not worth it.

porn-chicken · 2021-11-05T17:58:14+00:00

Lol they should worry about my past! I've banged some absolute munters after a few too many shandies...

Once you get older, it's kind of assumed everyone has a history. I don't bring it up and neither do they. Make sure you get tested every time you get a new partner, then it's not anything to worry about.

Frosty_Policy_5621 · 2021-11-05T18:07:43+00:00

29 is a lot and 7 is not a high number for relationships imo. I honestly wouldn't do it but you have to keep in mind that the chance that you find a woman with less than 29 & 7 is small, especially in a western society. So as long as she's a good person go for it & don't let it bother you

I'm not a westerner so my values and expectations are a bit different that's why I wouldn't do it

marks1995 · 2021-11-05T18:21:23+00:00

If she'd being honest, 7 is nothing for a 29 year old woman. That's literally 1 guy every 2 years or so since she was 16.

I hate this question because if you look at it reasonably, 1 or 2 a year is not that many if you stayed dating the whole time. So her number could easily be over 20. But when you just say "20-30", it does sound like a lot.

Mog_Melm · 2021-11-05T18:28:45+00:00

"36?!!"

_stmt · 2021-11-05T18:56:39+00:00

Any double digit body count

skinisblackmetallic · 2021-11-05T19:01:01+00:00

I care more if they can spell “too” correctly.

KingofLingerie · 2021-11-05T19:01:48+00:00

that number is low ad well body counts are something to not be concerned about. change what you can. accept what you can't.

E001-Hyger · 2021-11-05T19:06:43+00:00

I hope no woman cares about the fact that I’m 22 and that my number is absolutely 0

dasvulk · 2021-11-05T19:21:22+00:00

If you are asking then do a blood test then you know if it matters

FoggyDanto · 2021-11-05T19:38:00+00:00

As long as it is more than one, they are all just in the same boat

SomeParticular · 2021-11-05T19:49:58+00:00

I’m like you OP where I do care about this (even though I agree with most people that we really shouldn’t), and I’d say 7 is on the low end to be honest. I def wouldn’t let that bug you

starshineblueyes · 2021-11-05T19:51:09+00:00

It used to bother me when I was younger. Im 40 now and divorced and have come to the conclusion that people lie for this reason.

If they love you and want to be with you, and you love them, what does it matter? Get a test and move on if you're that concerned.

angelsfan-34 · 2021-11-05T20:30:02+00:00

I stopped counting cause at the end of the day if number matters to you I’ll move on. What I did in the past shouldn’t effect your view of who I am today. Everyone has baggage

banditcleaner2 · 2021-11-05T22:06:26+00:00

Yes to some extent. Hate to say it but as a man, my partner having a high number really means a lot of things; One, in my experience, women with higher numbers tend to have more drama in their lives, which I don't like. Two, higher chance of STDs which I realistically only start caring about if the number is very high. Three, high amount of exes which means I might have to deal with men that I really don't want to. And four it's a higher chance she will cheat or get taken from me

NewCommonSensei · 2021-11-05T22:08:47+00:00

I don’t really ask. Assuming it’s less than mine. If she tells me nice things like “you’re the best I’ve ever had” on her own volition then I definitely do not care. Also assuming she’s still tight.

Though I don’t want to be in a Long term relationship with a very promiscuous woman.

nsj23 · 2021-11-05T22:09:13+00:00

Forget a body count. I only care about STD’s.

TheDynamicKing · 2021-11-05T22:11:23+00:00

do you judge a shoe's value by how many times it has been wore?

tropius5 · 2021-11-05T22:13:24+00:00

So long as my partner tests clean, I don't really care how many bodies they have I treat myself between partners and every June and December.

InappropriateSnark · 2021-11-05T22:16:40+00:00

I did not care in my 20s and 30s and I do not care now. Quit fucking asking people this shit and enjoy your life. If you’re so threatened by former lovers, why do you ask?!? I will never understand this.

irridium77 · 2021-11-05T22:25:22+00:00

Nah, don’t care. We all like a good slut in bed. Just make sure you’re both STD free before that tarp comes off

changthaiman · 2021-11-05T22:27:49+00:00

How do you even know her number. Don’t ask. It never matters.

NewbieCasanova · 2021-11-05T22:38:56+00:00

This sub reddit has turn into a hippie nesting bunch of fags. Her history absolutely matter in terms of long term relationship. Anyone who say it doesn't, is 1 aren't well versed with psychology, and 2. think women and men operate on the same playing field.

nCRedditor-21 · 2021-11-05T22:44:15+00:00

7 is nothing. Dude the fact she’s been with 7 people means she could’ve been with far more.

And the statement that pretty much sums dating today is “she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.”

Soberskate9696 · 2021-11-05T22:45:08+00:00

"10"

100

Remarkable-Cat1337 · 2021-11-05T23:02:02+00:00

you shouldn't be asking questions that you aren't ready for the answers

LongLiveDetroit · 2021-11-05T23:06:30+00:00

Hell ye i care i ain't trying date a hoe thats been passed around. Anything over 5 is too much and if shes had a one night stand she also a hoe and if she lies about it she not just a hoe but a dishonest hoe hell nah i don't play that.

idkbroimdrunkandsad · 2021-11-05T23:40:58+00:00

Uh I wouldn’t worry about someone’s “numbers”. I don’t understand why you would.

ChurchofCaboose1 · 2021-11-05T23:48:17+00:00

I mean does it matter? Is someone a different person after you learn how many they were with than before you knew? It really shouldn't matter.

But I'm 28 M, I've had about 8 partners. But again, it shouldn't matter

556fivefivesix · 2021-11-05T23:50:18+00:00

7 at 29?? That bothers you? Yeah, you are 100% unrealistic. Also, stop fucking caring so much about body counts. Won't help you. Won't make you or her happy, so just stop.

Once a woman senses you judging them for their past, they will simply LIE to you. Happens all the time. Girls who "only slept with their ex" more often than not has had multiple ONS. But hey, "it doesn't count" in their head, so they lie. If you have female friends, or just date a lot- you will see and hear the same shit over and over. And when it comes to the topic of bodycounts, just don't ask if you know it will bother you. Or don't be judgmental, and she WILL tell you. I personally talk to girls I date about this all the time- because I want to tell myself I don't care. I know deep down I used to, but now I am the point where I know this shit won't benefit me or her, and I just want to have fun. It's just a waste of energy to be upset over shit you can't change or control.

Let go of this "is this bodycount high??" shit now. Trust me you will be happier.

ButterSunflower · 2021-11-05T23:57:51+00:00

What’s your body count? Is it more than 10? Why does how many people she slept with in her past, a past that has nothing to do with you, matter so much?

Bingo_is_the_man · 2021-11-06T00:07:51+00:00

I’ve met a couple chicks with low numbers. It’s better to date a younger lady for that reason otherwise you’re just buying a used car.

BodaciousBaka · 2021-11-06T00:08:19+00:00

The only real thing to truly worry about is stds. I guess some people can have many partners and not catch anything and others can have far less and have something. Also, this can be seen as a good thing because 1) She already knows what she likes 2) she has experience and can better understand you in bed

but you also cant force yourself to feel comfortable with something that really bothers you. Its going to cause problems later on.

coffee9table9fitness · 2021-11-06T00:09:41+00:00

That sounds ridiculous and I don’t mean any offense. You are stepping into a world of seduction, not people who have not spent a lot of their life getting around. With today’s culture I’d be shocked to meet a girl over 25 with that low of a count and would truly wonder if she was gonna be a clinger. I recently have been seeing a 19 year old who really surprised me when I found out I was her 6th guy.

SnappyCapricorn · 2021-11-06T00:21:54+00:00

Anyone fretting over “body count” isn’t ready for a relationship.

Much bigger concerns are safe sex practices & sex offenses.

Funny how many ppl I’ve chatted with irl or online who obsess over their partners’ past relationships yet shy away from getting tested for STDs together or do a google search.

CptTylor · 2021-11-06T00:45:46+00:00

As a guy(26) who has had over 50 sexual partners I don't really care.

Especially cause I used to escort for a while. I actually find that more women I'm trying to date care more about my sexual past than the men I've tried to date.

GarlicTraditional227 · 2021-11-06T00:51:17+00:00

I personally don’t think (women) are ever honest about their body count especially when they live in a college town. Not really my business so that being said off rip I never leave all my eggs in 1 basket so I don’t have reason to care tbh🤷🏾‍♂️

BasedSage · 2021-11-06T01:17:41+00:00

Damn I’m a hoe. Body count 60 by the time I was 25.

DEUS4EX2MACHINA0 · 2021-11-06T01:43:56+00:00

It doesn't matter. Don't ask don't tell if it's going to be an issue

wikipuff · 2021-11-06T01:52:10+00:00

26 M here. The population of San Marino is too high.

_Arch_Angel_ · 2021-11-06T02:19:40+00:00

What, specifically, bothers you about it?

HotDogRandy · 2021-11-06T02:40:30+00:00

My body count is in the hundreds. If I meet a girl and she tells me she is in the same range then I will know for sure she is telling the truth. If she tells me she has only been with like 10 people, then I'm going to be skeptical

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-11-06T03:17:23+00:00

So to be honest , My husband and I never asked numbers, or real specific intimate details about previous partners. We both where married, and dated after our divorces before meeting each other. So we both know we slept with others and lived a life before meeting each other.
We both enjoyed each other's company. Things grew from there .

strengthfrombalance · 2021-11-06T03:28:41+00:00

No. Why does it matter?

Nightowloldschool · 2021-11-06T03:36:34+00:00

Yes,i want a women who is an oldschool like me,anything above 3 is concern,now don't get me wrong a little experience is okay but just don't be the town bicycle and if brought up i like her to be honest and truthful it's not like I'm gonna judge her but i will from her actions

snakeyfish · 2021-11-06T05:39:43+00:00

Ya I care

TheCaribbeanRedditor · 2021-11-06T12:54:10+00:00

I don't ask. Personally I'm not interested in knowing. When you get to the stage of wondering "how many" you're probably in a negative mental state where you're comparing yourself and your sexual past to hers. Nothing good can come from that.

More important to me is her sexual health status. I get myself checked up at least once a year. I would encourage us to BOTH go for screenings regularly

PhillyWes · 2021-11-06T13:20:28+00:00

I used to care about this - when I was much younger. But the truth is I prefer a more experienced partner because the chances they are better at sex than, say, my ex-wife who only had 2 partners......are pretty good.

I'm too old to have boring sex.

The only reason to be concerned about how many partners they've had is A) disease and B) you're worried about your ability being compared to many, many others.

If B), you have some things to work on in your head.

Title	[deleted by user]
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	233
Comments	464
Date	November 5, 2021 2:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qncrhm/deleted_by_user/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/deleted-by-user.1272921 https://theredarchive.com/post/1272921

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