The real reason for forever girlfriend / f*ckzoned women

HazyMemory7 · 2023-05-12T18:08:10+00:00

Changed to CMV

NakedStreets · 2023-05-12T18:11:53+00:00

Lol, if you’re fucking and dating someone FOREVER… BECAUSE you’re not attracted to them or they’re a bitch, it says a lot more about you than her.

KayRay1994 · 2023-05-12T18:15:26+00:00

if you don’t wanna marry her but she wants to marry you, be the bigger person and break it off - someone who’s so emotionally invested isn’t gonna think clearly or logically to break it off and by keeping it going you’re essentially dragging a hopeless soul along (the same goes for women who drag men who are so emotionally involved that they can’t see things clearly too btw) - point is, if you know for sure you don’t want a future with someone who so clearly wants a future with you, don’t drag her along cause you’re comfortable or cause of the sex, just end it

Preme2 · 2023-05-12T18:58:33+00:00

I agree. I don’t think most men are afraid of commitment. They just don’t want commitment with you.

Men show time and time again, they will entertain women they don’t really like or love for a few minutes of companionship and sex.

Zombombaby · 2023-05-12T18:29:10+00:00

Every day I'm reminded why I'd rather be single than dating a guy who thinks this way about women at all.

IFuckingHateAllergy · 2023-05-12T19:04:43+00:00

Most men nowadays dont trust institutional marriage anyways.

Itouchkiids · 2023-05-13T04:48:47+00:00

I think the main point is their physical attractivness, good enough to be fucked but not enough to commit to.

Scarce12 · 2023-05-12T18:29:54+00:00

I think a under-reported reason for the "forever girlfriend" syndrome is that men are often in ambivalence about a relationship because, they know somethings up but they can't place their finger on it, and usually that issue is sex.

This is why the AF/BB explanation creates so much red-pill rage. Men waken to the fact that this explains why the bedroom's are cold.

If it were true that men were afraid to commit, then they would not agree to exclusivity with their "forever girlfriend" but instead, be spinning plates.

Deep_Instruction4255 · 2023-05-12T18:00:01+00:00

There’s very little good reason for a man to get married. It’s mostly financial and reputation liability with a high likelihood of losing it all in the divorce. Women are more likely to initiate divorce so it’s really not easy to trust someone like that. Also as soon as you make it official then all the controlling manipulation and obligation starts and there’s no way to have a day of peace.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-05-13T02:11:42+00:00

All I’m seeing here is “I’m too scared to break up with my girlfriend”

MarBitt · 2023-05-13T12:43:50+00:00

"Afraid of commitment" a lot of advice from older men not to get married because once they get married/have kids, the woman stops trying sexually and pushes the man to the sidelines.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2023-05-12T23:11:36+00:00

There's no excuse for women to not be in the gym in 2023.

It's funny how the gym is considered normal only in the countries where being fat is the norm.

If you need to hit the gym to not be fat then you're eating wrong.

You need to lose weight? Just go to the pool. No need to even swim. Just waddle in the water. The energy needed to prevent your body from losing heat in water will burn calories like crazy. Way more than running indoor.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-05-12T18:01:06+00:00

5.) she wants to be a forever g/f because she doesn't like the gov't meddling in her affairs and/or doesn't value the institution of marriage.

This reason overwhelmingly applies to all the LTR/not married women I know.

bluemooncookiedough · 2023-05-12T19:38:23+00:00

I think the real reason is that almost everyone is terrified of change. Even when we are miserable we get used to our own brand of misery and become complacent. When people are at the point of living together it's a complete life change to break up and people find excuses to put that off for very long periods of time. They might even have plans of one day changing that but subconsciously keep finding things to put it off for. Life is so hard already people are hesitant to shake everything up.

kg160z · 2023-05-12T21:27:08+00:00

IMO most of it is placeholding. People are not in a good spot in general. Undealt with trauma, current hardship and a world built to surcharge our dopamine for the purpose of distraction at the cost of depression. Top that with social media and a seemingly endless supply of 'better' people presenting themselves under false pretenses and you end up with a dating pool of people who are both unsatisfied and unsatisfying.

Cactus2711 · 2023-05-13T03:34:25+00:00

The orange flag thing is so true

DesertSweat · 2023-05-13T12:54:43+00:00

I’ve fuckzoned girls before unfortunately. It’s because they were shooting way above their league with me.

I was young and just wanted to get my dick wet. But I wasn’t going to be taking you home to show you to the parents or friends.

just_a_place · 2023-05-13T05:55:13+00:00

I have a few reasons of my own as to why I find it really hard to commit to women that I'm already fucking.

She wants to tie me down, wants me to sacrifice my independence and gamble on the high chance that she is going to change over time.
She isn't all that great in large doses. This is not a woman I can see myself spending even 50% of my time with. I just don't.
She invades too much of my privacy, by that I mean I really enjoy my own time by myself and this makes women edgy and fidgety and just start finding ways to constantly invade my space and my time.
Liberal Minded with Conservative values. ugh... these types of women are the worst because although they are fun and addictive in the short term they are quick to pull that "you need to be a traditional man" bullshit the instant she thinks your time and your attention belongs to her.
She fucks with other guys and somehow you are the special one she wants to shackle down. lol No thanks.
She may be sexy as hell but really offers nothing else.
Can't cook, has no fucking idea how to even boil water in a damned microwave!
Doesn't clean, her room looks like shit, her clothes on the floor and she's messy as fuck.
Too neat and fussy, has that nervous obsessive compulsive energy that makes it very draining to be around her for too long.

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2023-05-12T23:01:56+00:00

The risks that come with marriage are too high for men.

WARPANDA3 · 2023-05-13T08:17:01+00:00

Or the fact that divorce is insentivized

_____ad_____ · 2023-05-13T10:57:01+00:00

That is the entire problem. Of course men don’t have to commit to anyone but they should just be open about it and break up. Keeping her around to have sex is what makes women so angry.

JumboJetz · 2023-05-12T18:23:01+00:00

The real reason for fuckzoning if that is a thing is that for sex I don’t necessarily have high standards for personality but for meeting my family I need to trust the girl won’t be an embarassment. Very many women these days are not fit to actually trust to not embarrass one in front of family. Could be anything from a very alt appearance to not being very bright (I.e an anti-vax person or anything anti-science like that).

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-05-13T01:56:53+00:00

No, its incompatibility issues easily and one person being too selfish to let go. They like the benefits of the person even though they dont want them forever. Sometimes the other person wants them forever and the user knows that. They dont care because theyre selfish.

I was once in a relationship where I started to figure out it wasnt going to work for the long haul around 9 months. Since Im the kind of person who tries everything before I break up with someone, I tried for the next 3 months to make it work by repeatedly asking him to change the dealbreakers. He couldnt. At 12 months he said he was going to buy me a ring or was at least thinking about it and I panicked. I didnt last long with him after that. I absolutely judge people who knowingly string along others after being in that situation. I was so uncomfortable.

Typical_Series_8611 · 2023-05-12T18:10:14+00:00

The man doesn't want a gun held to his head for the entire duration of the marriage.

Why women care more about archaic and arbitrary labels over actual behaviors I'll never understand. That fucking diamond is more important than all the actions and behaviors we as men take to prove our loyalty. That stupid rock (that I think should come with a picture of the Liberian boy who had to dig the shit out of the ground) and stupid bloated ceremony means more to most women than any other actions you take to foment trust in the relationship.

I'll probably die alone over this, but I'm not getting married ever. Why would I sign a contract that let's a woman team up with the government to fuck me whenever she chooses. I make over six figures, I have shit to lose, and if you need a golden parachute to stay in a relationship with me, I no longer trust that you're gonna be there through the inevitable rough times that come.

If you can't believe I'm committed without an official contract that you can exercise at any second you want to fuck me, then leave. I'm a little emotional because I've had 3 relationships end over this. I refuse to feel like I'm being held hostage and getting married, I'd feel like a hostage. It's not the women, it's the institution I dislike.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-05-12T18:09:14+00:00

Or how about this... some women, and I don't say this with malice or ill intent, they are only good for one thing and don't "deserve" anything more than casual dick.

Safinated · 2023-05-12T18:08:56+00:00

The real reason is those women are desperate, and the man knows it

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2023-05-12T18:44:30+00:00

My reason for the longest time: The relationship is great and the marriage system sucks balls and has almost exclusively drawbacks for men and advantages for women. Unless there is a very good reason to get married, don't.

pandillerodelapampa · 2023-05-12T21:46:06+00:00

broke up with a girl due to her insane body count that was revealed later…

When you have choice you tend to be picky, no decent man will settle just for the sake of being with someone, no matter how hot the girl is…

WYenginerdWY · 2023-05-12T19:06:41+00:00

She let herself go - (Probably the most common) Either she gained a ton of weight, aged ungracefully

Meanwhile all men are, of course, in the gym on the daily and look the exact same they did at age 23. Except oops, about 3/4 of men in the United States are either overweight or obese.

She has an orange flag .... maybe her bodycount

So clearly the logical course of action here is to keep porking her and contributing to both her and your body counts.

She's just a big ol bitch -

And your dick clearly has low standards if that's the case. What kind of pathetic man keeps a woman around that he can't stand just so he has some place to park his dick every once in awhile?

He's not sure of the longevity of the relationship

Gee, maybe he should try communicating, like an adult.

None of the "reasons" given in this post are actually reasons, they're just poorly formed excuses for being a bad communicator and a person who doesn't mind wasting other people's time or their own time.

EulenWatcher · 2023-05-12T18:29:09+00:00

I'd guess there are two main reasons: the difference in intentions and a woman staying in situationship where she and a man clearly have different plans and goals. Then the reasons why they have different intentions can be that a man isn't interested in LTR right now or anything from your list as well as a man having commitment issues, bad previous experiences etc. I also think some people just aren't cut out for LTRs.

I don't know closely any woman who had issues like this, but I used to know a few men with this problem. Mostly my cousins or friends' boyfriends who wanted LTRs and committed relationships while the women didn't really view them as a good option for marriage but didn't mind going out with them.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-05-12T18:59:14+00:00

I don't know any couples like this beyond movie troupes.

But I hope these women leave because these men smell musty.

Isn't the line "marriage is bad for men"?

This seems to conflict with that. Make up your damn minds.

Due-Lie-8710 · 2023-05-13T10:31:40+00:00

I don't agree with your reasons but just as women claim friendzone isn't a thing ,I don't think the fuck zone is a thing , because sex is consensual by both parties , if you withhold your feelings and assume he will just come around that's on you, having sex doesn't equal consent to a relationship, women are not owed commitment because they had sex with someone and if they jusy lay there taking it that's on them and I don't feel sorry for them

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quadruplesquare · 2023-05-12T18:45:30+00:00

They stick around for longer than they should, and they have no insight into the other persons perspective. I think they don’t ask themselves where a relationship is going on time and build themselves illusions.

M_Ptwopointoh · 2023-05-12T19:13:18+00:00

I think you have #1 and #2 out of order, given that variations on

I'm the town bicycle, what is the mysterious unknown reason why nobody wants to marry me?

...is the most common question asked by women in the over-30 dating subs (only possible competition for the crown is the classic "I met a really sweet guy but I'm not sexually attracted to him like I was to the 38 not-sweet guys who came before him, what should I do?" questions)

mrcs84usn · 2023-05-12T19:24:32+00:00

The forever girlfriend has more to do with the man’s perspective on marriage and not “commitment” specifically.

If he IS marriage minded, it’s more about him being ready to be married. And being together for some arbitrary number of years doesn’t necessarily translate to him being ready to marry.

If she’s fuckzoned, it means that she will tolerate the little bit of effort he puts in while still giving him the sex he wants.

JSears90210 · 2023-05-12T20:09:48+00:00

I'd say that your reasons may apply in the minority of cases but in the majority the relationship would just end.

Here are some not all reasons IMO for this dynamic:

The guy is somewhere on the avoidant spectrum and isn't currently capable of a full emotional commitment. Although he thinks he is.
He thinks/knows that he can do better. He enjoys the sex and companionship but eventually wants someone he is a better fit with or he finds more attractive. Also, he may have someone in mind he is waiting to be available. (I'm aware that he might not be able to do better.)
The relationship is rocky and they both need to make some changes if they ever will have a good LTR. Most likely those changes will not happen.
This is the trickiest one. He isn't happy with the other parts of his life. His career is fucked up. Or his family is a mess that drains him. Another commitment just feels like a drain.

I agree with your overall point that the vast majority of men are not commitment phobic. Outside of people with true intimacy/commitment issues that need to be worked on with therapy, I think that men are very open to relationships.

If they find a woman they are very attracted to, who is loyal, drama free, and who they build a connection with, men are going to settle down. Maybe not in their early 20s but after that they will.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-05-13T00:30:43+00:00

Men irl aren't afraid of commitment. Most guys I know have had several LTRs and some STRs with a few ONS thrown in. Marriage is no longer the end all be all for relationships as well. Many people will cohabitate for years before they get married.

Enough_Chemistry3258 · 2023-05-13T01:43:36+00:00

This is all true but ultimately the man should man up and go for what he wants instead of stringing the easy girl along

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-13T02:32:07+00:00

Eh ultimately it comes down to compatibility. If I agree to a long-term relationship it's only with the explicit knowledge that I never want to marry.

If they change their mind and want to marry some day that means we will break up pretty immediately.

Plenty of men are interested in commitment, I know this because I have to limit my dating pool by possibly upwards of 70% every time on the apps even though I'm attracted to them because their looking for a relationship.

Forever girlfriend/forever boyfriend isn't a negative as long as both people don't want something more codified/formal/paperworked/contracted/ceremonial.

General_Erda · 2023-05-13T02:56:24+00:00

Idk what causes people to do this. Happens alot tho.

Willow-girl · 2023-05-13T03:24:24+00:00

I've known several older women who were widows drawing on their late husband's pension and not in a hurry to remarry and give up that nice check.

FineDevelopment00 · 2023-05-13T03:43:53+00:00

She let herself go

There are plenty of conventionally-attractive women who get roped into forever-gf situationships. But also, this depends on one's definition of "letting herself go" because if he expects her to never age and/or to always look Insta-ready 24/7 then that's an unrealistic expectation.

She has an orange flag

Then he needs to figure out whether or not that orange flag is gonna turn red.

She's just a big ol bitch

Why is he still with her, then? (Rhetorical question, more on this below.)

He's not sure of the longevity of the relationship

This is normal in dating up to a point; the whole purpose of dating is to find the right person which takes time and careful discernment and is more effectively accomplished without promiscuity clouding things up.

What do you think is the reason for them?

Ultimately all of the "reasons" you've listed boil down to excuses for the real reason - so he can selfishly use her until he finally gets bored or fed up enough to leave, because if he really thinks so lowly of her or is otherwise unsure of their relationship then he should set some healthy standards and shouldn't be entering into some pseudo-commitment (hooking up and living together, etc.) with her in the first place. By that same token, she needs to realize she's being played and gain self-respect by not tolerating it. Ofc the roles can be reversed as well and the same applies the other way around. These types of people are often too lazy to put forth actual effort in practicing self-control and seeking real commitment, but they don't wanna be alone either so they decide to play house instead. And then they go all shocked-Pikachu-face when their bad decisions bite them on the arse in various ways, no matter how much I or anyone else point out the glaring problems within their approach to dating.

666chihuahua · 2023-05-13T08:12:55+00:00

Aaaand here’s why this guy will die bitter and unhappy

Alfalfa2-Throwaway · 2023-05-13T08:49:51+00:00

"I'm sick of men being branded as dirtbags for stringing unsuspecting women along forever it's not fair on the poor guy to be labelled as such when the REAL reason they do this is because they think the woman is, in actual fact, a bitch who has let herself go...he only stays with her for sex and the girlfriend experience until a better option comes along! He's the real victim here! we should be blaming those fat old bitchy women who aren't spending enough time in the gym!"

nemma88 · 2023-05-13T21:48:57+00:00

Reason is he's not worth anything better so he can't deploy his hypergamy?

I think a lot of the times men are with forever girlfriends against her wishes (because not all women want to get married either) are sometimes because they're carrying mental issues, like depression or sevear insecurity. Sometimes because they just don't like her enough.

But in all cases it's because he can't get better right now and is passing the time.

Everyone knows that guy or girl who was in a long LTR and then left and immediately got married or such. In women it was dubbed hypergamy, we pretend men dont do this too because.... Idk.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-05-14T00:35:12+00:00

Some guys really don't want full-blown commitment..

Most I'd say aren't afraid of it, they just don't see a reason to commit.

Right now I'm one of them, and I used to get the "why are you so insecure about wedding/children?"

Don't let that stupid sentence get to you - it'll only make you take bad decisions you'll regret - stay free as long as you want to.

There's this thing people think relationships are meaningful, whereas casual sex is just "fun".

I call BS - and it reminds of how religious people think their way of life is meaningful, and secular life valueless.

The way I say it, I much rather be impressed and awed by Linear Algebra than stories about Bread & Wine.

Title	The real reason for forever girlfriend / f*ckzoned women
Author	VehementlyDrawn
Upvotes	74
Comments	325
Date	May 12, 2023 5:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/13fs737/the_real_reason_for_forever_girlfriend_fckzoned/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-real-reason-for-forever-girlfriend-fckzoned.1219096 https://theredarchive.com/post/1219096

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