How has body count discourse affected women?

wtknight · 2023-08-15T01:48:28+00:00

Removed. No posts about body count.

saraimarsena · 2023-08-14T21:23:03+00:00

personally, my internalization of the topic came from my Christian upbringing.

as a result, after losing my virginity i had a very hard time leaving my first partner because of my guilt around the idea of having more than an n count of 1.

even still, I’d judge myself heavily for having an n count above a certain number. i don’t feel like I’d be able to enjoy partaking in more diverse sexual experiences because of the shame.

i take sex very seriously and idk if I could ever allow myself to have sex with someone I couldn’t see myself marrying. I’ve never engaged in hookup culture and I don’t want to.

katyushas_boyfriend · 2023-08-14T21:27:03+00:00

I don't think even guys who are vocal about high body count women are that puritanical. Most aren't religious or Christian, if you have sex with a guy you're in a committed relationship with I doubt they would care. The rhetoric is more so anti casual sex than anything else.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2023-08-14T22:12:30+00:00

Women seem to think that men value the qualities they value in men, in women. This is a common mistake. Men hardly care for how tall a woman is, or that she has a career that is taking up most of her time. Being successful with women makes a man more desirable due to preselection. They can deny it all they want but it is something commonly experienced as a man. The best way to get attention is to already have it.

The same is not true for women. The fundamental difference is that men need to do well to be chosen. Women need to choose well in order to maintain stability. A high body means they're choosing badly or have no interest in meaningful relationships. That's okay, but lifestyles and actions have consequences. Going from super promiscuous to wallflower or beacon of stability is just an unrealistic or undesirable value proposition.

Body count discourse is stupid. Men need to lie in order not to be shamed as losers. Women need to lie in order not to be seen as easy.

PrinceJamRoll · 2023-08-14T21:36:37+00:00

I have had experience with women who have pretty extreme body counts and I know that I cannot stereotype all women based on that, but I do tend to view it as a red flag now based on my personal experience.

That being said, I don't find anything morally wrong with being a slut and feel no need to shame women who sleep around a bunch. People have different expectations and values and that is okay.

I don't want to sleep with a different person every week and will probably stay away from any woman that does. I feel like a lot of guys though just hate women and if they switched places most of them would be whores and do OnlyFans.

Feels like there is a concerted effort from loser men to collectively tarnish the female gender (think of a global, meta form of negging) so that it is easier for them to get laid. Because how else will they get sex if women have normal to high standards?

RadiantEarthGoddess · 2023-08-14T21:11:59+00:00

It hasn't affected me personally because I find a lot of the guys spouting those talking points just flat out hypocritical.

But then again, I have always viewed sex as something deeply intimate and I only have it in committed relationships, so I am not exactly the "target audience" of their shaming.

dynospectrum7 · 2023-08-14T21:44:04+00:00

Hookup culture has little benefit to women honestly. Some dudes will call you a skeezer, a few more will judge silently. You might get pregnant or catch an std. you might like a guy but shit, you slept with him so fast, he might not go through the trouble of putting in any effort. Some women regret it, others indulge in the life for too long then turn 35 and post videos online asking why they don’t have a relationship.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-08-14T23:29:33+00:00

Men’s hypercritical views on promiscuity is nothing new. Promiscuity is something woman have been shamed for since the dawn of civilisation…and probably even before that.

There are only two important things to note about this never ending discussion.

1: We live in an age and society( if you’re in the west) where a woman’s body count is completely irrelevant in terms of how she is treated in life in general. Men have no control over who and how many people woman choose to sleep with so if you’re a promiscuous woman who cares what anybody else thinks? Live your life. Have fun.

2: Woman have absolutely no control on how men judge them for their body counts. Women shouldn’t care if a man judges their sexual history and men shouldn’t care if a woman judges them for there preferences.

Promiscuous woman will never be able to convince the majority of Men that there behaviour isn’t deeply unattractive to them. Is it a double standard? Yes. Are Men hypocritical for feeling this? Absolutely.

What so many woman don’t grasp however is that a man’s disgust at a woman with a high body count is not a logical thought process based on the mores of modern society. It’s a involuntary guttural reaction based on hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. Trying to reason a man out of his reaction to female promiscuity is like trying to convince a woman her preferences for tall rich guys is illogical and hypocritical in a post industrial post feminist society. It’s a preference that is hardwired into men that will still exist thousands of years from now.

hannahg000 · 2023-08-14T21:25:30+00:00

i’m a virgin also. sometimes all the discourse can be disheartening if you’re in the wrong head space. i think that i’m in a pretty healthy place right now but in the back of my mind, i’m worried about losing my virginity to the wrong person and feeling like a lost a part of myself that i can’t get back. so that’s the reason i’m really careful about getting into relationships.

it would be less stressful to have a smaller emphasis on my virginity but i can’t lie and say i don’t care about it. i want to lose my virginity to someone i see as a true life partner.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-08-14T21:10:55+00:00

The average lifetime partner count for both men and women is 4-7.

https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm

Da_Famous_Anus · 2023-08-14T22:32:33+00:00

This does not say question for women on it so I will answer what I think from my point of view as a man.

The most common reaction I've seen women have to any N-count conversation has overwhelmingly been - how dare you have even so much as feelings or an opinion about women's sexual history at all. As if it's not allowed and that men should be shamed for even having a discussion about it. Certainly we already know that men should be shamed for things that they want and like but just talking about this is basically - how dare you.

That is most reactions that I've seen.

Some of the reactions are kind of like a mix of that but attempt to, not so cleverly, frame the issue as - men are terrible for caring because 'they want virgins' which isn't the case at all.

pop442 · 2023-08-14T23:08:17+00:00

By and large, men irl don't really care.

You've got decent men wifing up strippers, single moms, and reformed thots like never before.

The manosphere's influence has always been overstated because many of it's own followers or even content creators don't practice what they preach.

Donovan Sharpe got exposed wifing an overweight single mom in her 40's while being a stepdad to her daughter yet he's still telling his followers not to do the exact thing he did.

Women's body counts don't really matter that much in the grand scheme of things except with highly religious or super socially conservative guys.

AbsolutelyNobody0 · 2023-08-14T23:12:19+00:00

If this is what you got from that discourse, then hopefully all women get the same message. While it's not perfect, it's far superior to the casual sex hookup culture that's propogated throughout society.

Ideally, there would be a more wholistic consideration about this, but improvements will be incremental at best.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-08-14T23:19:32+00:00

I think the typical RP take on this is ridiculous and I don't think having sex makes anyone dirty. I don't want people judging me for it and I don't judge anyone else. I want a variety of sexual experience and I'm fine with women wanting it too.

I would consider any woman for an LTR who I think would be loyal to me and who I have great sex with, no matter her count.

I'm sure there are a lot of men outside of RP who are sensitive to body counts due to religious influence or other traditional ideas. I'm not one who subscribes to any of that.

To answer your question, I think ideas expressed about body count on here make some women feel like shit and/or just hate guys on here for being selectively prudish misogynists. Out in the real world I think it makes some women more uptight and less likely to enjoy sex, which is a loss for us all.

YouHateTheMost · 2023-08-14T23:21:22+00:00

So, I am an ex-secular who found God about a year ago. I am not a virgin, but my fornication instances can be counted on one hand and all happened within one of my lower points in life. Back in my secular days, I took virginity praise and n-count discourse for what it's worth: incel attempts to justify why women don't like them. After accepting God and rethinking my view on physical intimacy, I recently had a period of extreme guilt for my past, especially given that my fiance is a virgin, but with the help of other Christians and my fiance have realized that the past can totally stay in the past, and what matters is what kind of person I am now.

So, to address your concern from the other side: Sex itself? Girl, your body is amazing at taking care of and repairing itself! The vagina is meant for sex, you just approach it with care! If a guy turns out to be a user... trust me, it'll hurt some, but you'll recover, you'll get over it. And if a guy judges you on your past instead of who you are in the present,he obviously doesn't see you for who you truly are, only for a made up incel fantasy in his head.

However... Honestly, sex before marriage is just not worth it - you're exposing your most intimate side to somebody who has claimed no commitment to you. I'm saying this not just from a Christian perspective, but from a secular one too. So please, consider this perspective as well, okay?

God bless!

sine120 · 2023-08-14T21:32:32+00:00

Is this supposed to be a QFW post?

IMO, it depends on what you're looking for, but behavior matters. If you're looking for an LTR and you've had a few partners before who were also LTR's but they didn't work out for whatever reason, then who cares if you've been with those 3 other people before? If you're looking to be fuckbuddies and aren't looking to catch feelings, as long as you're clean who cares if you've had 30 partners?

Dating is an audition for a role, if the role is monogamous long term partner and all your experience is the opposite, that'll throw up red flags. Practice for the role you want.

balenciaghoe · 2023-08-14T21:03:50+00:00

stop listening to those garbage podcasts. if a guy doesn’t like my body count then he’s not for me and that’s okay. especially when i can find a man who doesn’t give a fuck.

riceweight · 2023-08-14T22:19:19+00:00

I gave a shit about how men perceived my zero body count. I would always always judge men based on how they reacted to my body count — if they got excited that I was a virgin, it was time to dump them. If they expressed impatience, it was time to dump them. That’s how online discourse affected my dating.

I now have a body count of 1, and that’s because when I told my bf I was a virgin, my bf was like. That’s cool, we’ll take it slow then. And then I said, I’m probably going to wait til marriage. And he was like. That’s cool, I can wait. And then 8 months in I jumped his bones.

I chose not to have sex before him not because I was afraid of other people’s perceptions of me, but rather my personal values and opinions of the men I was with. Other people don’t give a shit about you except to use you as an example, to use you for sex, to maybe notice a cute outfit or hairstyle, but they don’t actually care about you. Why should I care about what they think of me? I should have sex when I am comfortable. When I am ready. With someone awesome. With someone who cares about me so so much. And anyone after him who’s mad about that can kick rocks.

Even if we broke up, I wouldn’t regret losing my virginity to my bf. Because he treats me well, respects my boundaries, finds me sexy as hell without reservation, and he’s also sexy as hell. It’s the first time that I wish every woman had.

So yeah, “men” as a vague concept might think I’m not as desirable as a virgin. I don’t want “men”. I want one man.

I think this online discourse actually helped strengthen my own resolve and my own self worth. It helped me realize that I am not a capri sun. I am a person with inherent value before and after experiencing penis. My goals, my loves, my personhood is never in question.

Body count is at best a proxy for mental health/sex drive/risk taking nature. At worst it is an idol for men and women to worship, to prioritize over the flesh and blood and soul of each person.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-08-14T23:02:46+00:00

Depends on the woman. Some want to conform to please these men. Some do the opposite out of spite or to filter them out. Some have pretty much decided their path anyway so feel good or bad depending. Some don't listen or don't care.

fleurs_du_mal__ · 2023-08-14T23:38:30+00:00

I just don’t believe in casual sex, for both men and women. Sex isn’t something fun and casual, it has long term consequences.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-08-15T00:05:08+00:00

I’ve never been into casual anyway, but hearing how men talk about women they’ve hooked up would absolutely put me off casual sex regardless. Not so I could be some pure tradwife for a retired man hoe, but because it’s just so gross. I don’t see sex as a man taking something from a woman/degrading her, but since that’s how they see it, I want no part of it.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-08-15T00:28:56+00:00

It makes me sad to see younger women being shamed for being “sluts” or being called “dirty”, etc. Nobody talked about n counts in my generation and nobody really cared. Some of my girl friends in high school and college were virgins, some only had sex with their bf’s, some experimented widely. It was all pretty supportive & non judgmental.
The only men that I discussed my sexual history with were ones that I was considering a relationship or marriage with & even with my number being higher than average, it certainly didn’t put any of them off.

ta06012022 · 2023-08-15T01:02:41+00:00

Is there really much discourse on this topic? It's generally not a thing I encounter in real life. The topic has never even come up with most of the women I've slept with.

illusive-man-00 · 2023-08-15T01:25:52+00:00

Lose your virginity to your husband and that’s it. Don’t sleep wit no dude who’s not your husband.

Don’t be like none of the shorties out here now ya heard.

Hold ya head.

You still got a chance. Get yourself a solid dude with morals and make him marry you before anything else.

VastlyVainVanity · 2023-08-15T01:25:56+00:00

Most people who judge women for their sexual past (like I do) do it in regards to casual sex.

I think the amount of men who care about the fact that a woman had sex with, let's say, three serious boyfriends in the past is pretty small. Most men who care, care about the fact that the woman had a hoe phase in which she fucked multiple guys for fun.

My point being that this idea of "sex making you dirtier" isn't quite right for most men IMO, it's more about "being a slut making you dirtier".

How has it affected women? Can't really say it. Some decades ago, the idea that casual sex taints women was the norm. The sexual revolution allowed women to sleep around without being so intensely judged for it like they used to be. And nowadays, in some specific sub-parts of society the idea that it's shameful for women to sleep around has made a comeback.

Women who were raised with very progressive values probably don't care. I've seen women here on PPD who legitimately believe that "most men don't care", which is a very laughable idea to me, but in their bubbles it's probably true. But if a woman is around men who care, then yeah, it has probably affected them, I guess? Who knows, really.

CountMandrake · 2023-08-15T01:29:29+00:00

It doesn't make you dirty to the man you are fucking, just other men.

Keep that in mind.

Still, there are lots of men who are fine with a few bodies, and some that are cool with a lot of bodies.

And then a few who get off on it. Weirdos IMO, but to each their own.

JustBeingMe426 · 2023-08-15T01:49:17+00:00

I dated a crap ton from ages 20 to 28 and only had one man ever ask me my body count. Men tended to ask me questions trying to figure out my values more than body count (me too, I never needed to directly ask you can kind of figure it out as you get to know the person)

atryhardrooster · 2023-08-14T21:20:10+00:00

It’s not sex itself that makes you less desirable to men. It’s when you have blackout drunk sex with 20 different men within a few years. Nobody wants sloppy 20s especially with how prevalent STDS are not to mention the men that you’re having sex with are likely pretty dirty themselves. On top of that the average guy is not well endowed and not in good shape and if you have had well endowed good looking in good shape men you are less likely to stick with something below what you are used to. These women are not worth the potential time and money loss not to mention the heartbreak. It is risk management nothing more. Most men don’t care if youve had sex with a regular amount of people in a regular amount of time.

y2k-ultra · 2023-08-14T21:34:07+00:00

Makes me feel like shit. My number isn’t even high, but it’s like I’m not allowed to have a relationship with some guys. I’ve even been told that I’m lying about my count. Why tf would I lie. Like if you think I’m a dirty slut, leave me alone. They all want high-value women until they meet their match and then they grasp at straws to make you feel like shit.

Makuta_Servaela · 2023-08-14T21:06:51+00:00

Besides what you stated, it also puts a value on not knowing what you're doing. It implies that being less educated is a good thing, and I think that's a dangerous mindset to have regardless of context, but especially if the context is that someone else wants to use their experience and your lack of experience to their advantage. In any other situation, we would think of that as creepy.

On the other hand, you can also use that trope to your advantage. I was eager to lose my virginity (although I was well past teens when I actually felt ready to do so) because I knew it meant I'd have more access to better partners, since I would be dropping out of the radar of a lot of the shallow and/or predatory guys, meaning the guys left over would be more likely to respect me as a person and be secure enough to not stress about my previous experiences comparing to them.

AhsokaSolo · 2023-08-14T21:19:03+00:00

Try not to give them so much power over you. The talk hasn't affected me in the slightest. I think literally everyone that argues about the importance of body counts sound like very ridiculous people that have the emotional maturity of children. Do you judge strangers for their sex lives? What about friends, or colleagues? Don't be harder on yourself than you would be on others.

The important thing is to have sex when you're comfortable. If the idea of having sex with someone makes you feel dirty, don't do it. Get to a place where you are doing what you want because you think it's right for you and it's what you want to do.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-08-14T21:34:24+00:00

Honestly I don't care how it affects them. Women are going to do whatever they want anyways, all I can do is control who I commit to.

somethingpunny2 · 2023-08-14T22:52:00+00:00

The discourse helps in that if such words are uttered (“body count”), I know immediately there is a lack of emotional maturity and intelligence- so I can steer very clear of the Neanderthals.

CinemaPunditry · 2023-08-14T23:07:30+00:00

It makes men feel not great about myself when I first hear it, and then once I let rationality set in I take a good look at the type of guys who say they care about that kind of thing and realize that they’re not the kind of people I would ever want to be around or spend time with, let alone fuck or date.

I racked up a high body count between ages 17-19 because I was heartbroken over my first love/high school boyfriend and was 1.)trying to make him jealous, 2.) trying to get over him, 3.) trying to replace him and that intimacy that I had lost, 4.) trying to numb myself, and 5.) trying to get validation from men because my self-esteem had dropped precipitously. I’m 29 now and have averaged about 1 per year since I was 21. I didn’t get pregnant or catch any std’s, yet for some reason some men think that those 2 messy years of my life tell them everything they need to know about me.

After like, 25 years old it’s a red flag (imo) if someone asks about or cares about their partner’s body count. They should care if their partner has issues with intimacy, has a sex addiction, has sexual trauma or has caused someone else sexual trauma, has any std’s, has been pregnant, or has a history of cheating. Someone who think they can gauge that by knowing someone’s body count has immaturity issues imo.

Attitudes and values change over time. My attitude and values towards sex have changed drastically since I was a teenager.

Scarce12 · 2023-08-14T23:16:06+00:00

This is classic "because of Chad, I take it out on Brad" mentality. Studies show women are doing this BTW.

Ironically, this why men don't like high n-counts.

It's got nothing to do with being dirty, its got everything to do with being damaged.

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-08-14T21:41:25+00:00

Outside of the manosphere, most guys don’t obsess over body counts. Men who have been successful with women don’t have this hangup about potential partners having had a sexual past. They really don’t. I think this largely comes from a place of insecurity, and I would just tune out that noise.

kkkan2020 · 2023-08-14T21:35:24+00:00

In the west men have been conditioned not to put too much emphasis on that. Also as you folks have heard here the women don't care and well thats that.

herbb100 · 2023-08-14T21:44:27+00:00

As a dude all I will say is that what other people think really doesn’t got anything to do with you just focus on living your life. Podcasters also are entertainers they probably don’t even believe half the things they say.

In real life most people don’t actually care about the hot topics that are always being discussed online. Lastly whether I or men care about body count has nothing to do with you.

Sad_Top1743 · 2023-08-14T21:58:20+00:00

Conflating having secs with a bf with high body count is either idiotic or purposefully misleading to create ambiguity on the matter

ratboi34 · 2023-08-14T21:31:04+00:00

Sex is natural and you can go for it once you are ready and have found a guy you trust. Besides very strict religious people no guy will care that you have had sex before. It is a fact tho that having a high number of sexual partners might decrease a persons desirability. Men seem to care more about that in almost every culture in the world and seem to be less forgiving about a high number. You can do with that information what you want, but don't let anyone tell you sex in itself is bad. I used to think like that when I was younger and it has impacted my perception of sex for a long time.

operation-spot · 2023-08-14T21:20:01+00:00

Don’t let those comments effect you because while it’s loud, it is not the truth. I personally believe men talk about body count or number of sexual partners because they’re jealous. It might be because they didn’t have the same amount of opportunities or because they fear comparison. While they are valid to feel that way, you don’t have to deal with it or let it impact how you think of yourself. This is exactly why feminism fought to remove the shame associated with sex. Female sexuality is not dirty or shameful and any man who believes that is not the man for you.

I suggest you start counseling because it sounds like you associate a lot of negative emotions to having sex.

Safinated · 2023-08-14T21:42:02+00:00

It’s never been any different. Women are sex things, and used things are bad.

People are better about considering women human, but that’s how sex works

harmonica2 · 2023-08-14T21:45:25+00:00

Isn't there something a little validating to a man with a woman with a high count because of a woman has a high count and she picks you that means you beat all the other guys, if that makes sense?

Dstar538888 · 2023-08-14T22:01:54+00:00

We lying about it now 🤣

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-08-14T22:48:38+00:00

Most women will either lie or refuse to answer about their body count so it's not something that can really effect their dating prospects unless it's uncovered. I don't think the discourse has changed women's actions or views about body count because very few women face any backlash from having a high body count if it's not public knowledge

Mentathiel · 2023-08-14T23:33:29+00:00

Why would I want to give pleasure to something that will feel so lowly about me afterwards?

Exactly, don't. Avoid these types of men at all costs. There are so many good men around, no need to settle for fuckboys who just want you for your body, who dehumanize you, slut-shame you, etc.

TL;DR How has body count discourse affected women and their views on sex?

It comes down to whether you agree with them or not at some level. I'm not religious, so I don't care that religious people want a partner who's baptized in a church of their denomination and a virgin, our values are so fundamentally misaligned that I don't appeal to these people anyway. Same with TRPers, I don't want those guys to be into me in the first place.

I've never regretted any sexual encounters, even with exes who I now don't respect at all. It was nice at the time. I don't feel like I've lost anything. My body still does the same things it always did, I still feel the same feelings for people. I just had an experience. It added to my life. I enjoyed it at the time. That's it. It's not any more complex than that.

I'm not sure how has the general cultural stigma about sex impacted me. I'm not very promiscuous, so possibly there is some cultural programming there. Personally, for me sex feels pretty vulnerable emotionally and physically, so I don't like having it outside of loving relationships. I mean, I've never tried, maybe I'd like it lol, but it just seems scary. I'm risking pregnancy (I'm pro-life, so it's a rly big deal for me), I feel emotionally unsafe Idk how considerate the guy would be, I'm feeling physically exposed, I'm risking violence, STDs, I might be viewed a certain way that makes me feel bad by the guy, we have to spend time negotiating everything and opening up about desires just to have this one encounter which is unlikely to result in an orgasm for me since I'm a bit tricky until one learns, it just doesn't seem worth it at all. The only thing I could hypothetically get out of it is variety of interests / things they're into / willing to try, which would be kinda fun, but doesn't seem worth the hassle.

But who is to say this last paragraph isn't just a huge cope to rationalize away a bunch of internalized shame? I'm not sure honestly. I definitely don't tend to feel bad about any sex in the past, but am careful about sex in the present if that makes sense. So if something is impacted by the stigma, it'd be my decision-making, but I don't feel guilt/regret over past decisions.

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-08-15T01:31:45+00:00

So much of men’s ideas about a woman’s sexual history is imaginary or fantasy or projection.

I’m a very curvy woman. Clothes look more revealing on me because of my body type. I’m comfortable talking about my sexuality and the fact that I’ve had casual sex, and I don’t pretend to be a prude just to gain social status points.

None of that means I’ve had a lot of sex. I have not. Objectively I have not. I’m actually recovering from a history of sexual abuse and it’s taken me a long time, like till mid 20s, to even feel ok to have sex. Some of my “openness” about sex is just bravado to cover my vulnerability I guess.

meangingersnap · 2023-08-14T22:36:28+00:00

Girl if you listen to thes doofuses and internalize what they’re saying I’m sorry to say but you’re not very bright. Please exercise your critical thinking skills, you have them for a reason. Ask yourself if these men are specially qualified to speak on this. Have they read up on it, do they cite studies, who are they, are they a man you truly think is respectable and deserves to be listened to? Ask yourself, are men who view sex as something they do to you for their benefit and leave you lesser the kind of men you want to lose your virginity to? Don’t you want your first time (and every time) to be with a man that views sex as something you do together to deepen your connection and please each other, something special and precious, not degrading? I don’t think most women listen to misogynistic redpill podcasts and if they do it’s to laugh at them. Personally it has an inverse effect on me

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-08-14T23:32:00+00:00

I've advised my asexual daughter to never ever share the fact that she's a virgin. It attracts the worst sort of guys with all sorts of weird and scary beliefs who share a massive overlap with the sort of guys who lie about wanting friendship. Gotta stay hush hush on that one kid, you being a virgin brings nothing good.

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obviousredflag · 2023-08-14T21:44:12+00:00

No one ever changed their view from reading anything on this sub.

Says_Who22 · 2023-08-14T21:48:29+00:00

I’d rather laugh than cry, so I chose to laugh at the double standards and insecurities shown up in the rants by men about the number of sexual encounters a woman have had.

HimNeutron · 2023-08-14T21:49:36+00:00

I don’t think it’s affected women at all. They will lie to no end about their past anyways, so they will do as they please until they find someone they like.

kkkan2020 · 2023-08-14T21:59:59+00:00

That's what condoms are for...

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-08-14T22:00:11+00:00

Some women have taken heed of the negative consequences of having a hoe phase, but not many. Whenever accounts like TradWest on Instagram promote these values for women, many salty women complain about it in long form in his comment section.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-08-14T22:29:19+00:00

It hasn't, really. I grew up in a liberal, non-religious home and never internalized any of that stuff during my childhood. As an adult I've been fairly promiscuous and none of my boyfriends have cared -- they've all been similar and if anything they thought about it as something we had in common.

I was never trying to date religious conservatives or reddit nerds for that matter. Dudes here want to scream and cry about how "all men care" or whatever but the reality is that if you date a certain type literally none of them give a shit and it won't affect you at all. I have 0 interest in dating outside that type for a variety of reasons ,many of which have nothing to do with sex, and I live in a place where that type is incredibly common. "Bodycount discourse" has literally no effect on my life.

LaloTwins · 2023-08-14T22:31:36+00:00

Based and RP’d

learn2earn89 · 2023-08-14T23:03:46+00:00

It just makes me think that men should hold themselves to those standards otherwise they’re hypocrites. I’ve never slept with anyone but I would still steer clear of guys who care so much about that. I don’t fault guys for wanting a girl that has the same n-count as them tho.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2023-08-14T23:40:37+00:00

Sex with someone who sees you as an equal partner can be a beautiful thing, transcendent even.

That being said, I really fear for your generation because the attitudes towards sex have become so degrading and in some (many) cases downright abusive. It’s not just your generation, either - men of all ages have followed this trend towards viewing women and sex in such dehumanizing terms - but for the younger generations it’s like this is all you’ve ever known. I’ve heard younger women, and even some my own age, talking about being violently attacked during sex because these guys think it’s normal.

The way guys talk about body count - both theirs and women’s - just feeds into a larger issue of these societal shifts. You’re right that sex is now seen as something that men do to, rather than share with, women. There have always been a few men with this attitude, but in recent years it’s become the majority. A high body count might put you more at risk of being seen this way, but there’s really no evidence that a low body count will protect you. You can never be “pure” enough to fall on the safer side of the madonna/whore complex, because it’s not about you - it’s about that man in front of you, how he thinks about women, and what he wants from you. Sex doesn’t make you dirty, but a man who wants you to allow yourself to be subjected to denigration will sure as hell try to convince you that it does. It’s a tactic to knock you down a peg, to make you easier for him to access.

trettles · 2023-08-15T02:20:46+00:00

I accept it for what it is (and choose to opt out of the game), but what I can't understand is the women who accept the men who talk about women like that. The men who marry virgins & call higher n-count women sluts are the same guys who hit on & try to sleep with these "sluts" in the office. A guy with madonna/whore complex should be a huge red flag. Just because he marries you & claims to value you, doesn't mean he's not fucking everything in sight.

Title	How has body count discourse affected women?
Author	ThrowRAsweeter
Upvotes	31
Comments	351
Date	August 14, 2023 9:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15r6z5d/how_has_body_count_discourse_affected_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-has-body-count-discourse-affected-women.1228213 https://theredarchive.com/post/1228213

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