Women base their entire dating lives on a dodgy initial sales pitch, while dismissing men who would make better long term partners because they are no good at that

throwawaylessons103 · 2023-08-12T12:45:02+00:00

Most of the things you mention women liking require socialization.

The introverted nerd who spends his days in the library is less likely to be consistently approaching new women. The jocks are more likely to be in environments where they're meeting and socializing with new women more often, and also have the initial confidence to ask for her number.

The women that introverted nerd would be compatible with is less likely to be at bars/clubs, Tinder, etc.

And hot, extroverted women who like those type of guys don't really care how "great of a long-term partner" the nerd would be because they're likely not compatible.

Men act like women are somehow naive to the fact there's tons of guys they're not into who would be a good partner. They're not, but LTRs involve sex and attraction, and unless you want a dead bedroom I don't suggest telling women to go for men they're not attracted to.

And that also goes for behavior, not just looks.

foxylilthing19 · 2023-08-12T14:40:38+00:00

Introverts don’t approach women though the bulk of the time so how am I supposed to know he’s a great option is he never leaves his house or he pisses himself because I made eye contact with him? And what if he doesn’t share my kinks, it’s easy to find guys that match that but I don’t know if you knew that.

ace52387 · 2023-08-12T13:43:44+00:00

Any time you come up with some really specific things that women want, it really just says youre not meeting enough women, or not meeting the right women. Women get together with people from their d&d group, study groups, etc.

DrBoby · 2023-08-12T12:57:30+00:00

Just dodge these women you are missing nothing.

Most men are crap, but surprise, most women are crap too. They are cute but empty inside.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-08-12T13:28:21+00:00

Women are more attracted to loud obnoxious guys that quiet ones

Women prefer guys who ride dirt bikes, than those who dwell in libraries.

Women are turned off if he doesn't have a typical 'bro' social circle

Women prefer 'streets smart' wit over nerdy 'intellectual' humor

Unlike men women are put off by introverts as a romantic option

Real life is not an 80s teen comedy. This is so absurdly wrong that I'm wondering if you've actually interacted with women before.

What's actually happening here is you want the popular extroverted women while being an introvert yourself to which...yeah, she's not going to go for you because your personalities are incompatible.

trettles · 2023-08-12T13:55:09+00:00

And yet if we suggest men lower/change their standards based on appearance, we're completely unreasonable. The usual response is, "why would I want to be with someone I'm not attracted to?"

Same same for women

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-08-12T12:28:08+00:00

The women you are looking at dating these "jerks" are probably in the same social circle as them. Popular sporty women. Cheerleaders, volleyball players, that kind of thing. Dirt bikes are also a slightly juvenile interest, but I'm biased bc the kid I know who was successful at dirtbiking was like 17 years old. The woman he attracted who monkeybranched from her previous bf to him (she was 23... I just can't) had BPD and like 3 "alters" or whatever, was a Wiccan, and constantly made poop jokes.

Anyways your example dredged up these bad memories so. I'm probably pretty biased here when I say most of the women you are talking about aren't really that high quality. But at the same time you guys seem to mainly focus on women who are attractive, popular, extroverted, etc. And wondering why they chase essentially their male equivalents.

DueGuest665 · 2023-08-12T13:39:39+00:00

It’s not how attraction works.

You don’t rationalize yourself into it.

You have the hots for someone or just have chemistry with them and then you see what happens.

You can be with someone who is perfect for you on paper but it just feels something is missing.

Sometimes if you are friends and you see qualities shining through in can make a difference, but chemistry is more than a sales pitch.

hannahg000 · 2023-08-12T12:35:18+00:00

you just listed the exact opposite of my type. i was around so many of these guys in high school and i couldn’t stand them. they act like wild animals. they have absolutely no class or social awareness

Gravel_Roads · 2023-08-12T13:05:34+00:00

This post kinda suggests you're only looking at one specific type of women... the fun, outgoing, adventurous manic pixie dream girl type who likes excitement.

In which case, no, a bookish introvert who spends his days at the library would not be a very good match with a girl who likes "dirt biking" (though I don't know anyone over 25 that dirtbikes lol.) But a man who likes to spend his time quietly in the library wouldn't enjoy the company of a wild dirt-bike girl.

What you seem confused by is the fact that there are intorvert girls who also like to spend time quietly at the library reading dry "intellectual" books. But, like their shy bookish counterparts, no one notices them because they're quiet and just reading instead of running around riding dirtbikes with street urchins.

Lenovo_Driver · 2023-08-12T13:04:20+00:00

What actual indication or proof is there that these inexperienced guys who aren’t good at selling themselves would be better partners? I’d really like to know.

throwaway164_3 · 2023-08-12T12:25:53+00:00

It’s because of evolutionary biology and sexual selection.

Women want manly, tall, masculine, strong, dominant, high status men. Duh.

Alpha fucks/beta bucks, alpha seed/beta need, cads vs dads, R/k selection theory, call it what you want. But it’s blindingly obvious women across cultures that women are more attracted to a certain type of man.

People fail to truly comprehend just how much of our behavior is shaped by evolutionary biology and sexual selection.

kamalaophelia · 2023-08-12T13:29:00+00:00

So does that mean I am not a woman?

Hate loud and obnoxious guys.
Dirtbikes or whatever in that direction are a turn off. I prefer to be at home, read and game (with my bf)
most my bf‘s friends are women, which I am friends with too… also whenever I had interest in a guy and I met his „bro“ friends, any attraction died instantly
„street smarts“ tend to be what we call „wit“. Like yes, some kind of wit and able to think on your feet and be funny, is useful in all socialization(with and by any gender). All women I know like some real intelligence and knowledge in their guys tho. But I mainly talk to educated women 🤷🏻‍♀️
My bf has social anxiety and panic attacks… more introvert is impossible. And I Know at LEAST two other girls that crushed on him hard, going as far as trying to seduce him after we already dated.

Anyway, theory: your social circle is pretty trashy. Trashy guys, trashy girls, and instead of improving yourself and meet better people you just tell yourself your reality is the universal truth.

SierraMistSoda · 2023-08-12T12:55:46+00:00

Maybe you are only defining "women" as women you are attracted to. Because I am sure that there are girls in libraries who are introverts too.

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-08-12T13:58:49+00:00

Yes, extroverts are sexually in demand. They are sexually in demand for both sexes. Extroverts usually make more effort to assert their gender in desirable ways. Extroverts usually make more effort to be seen. Extroverts usually make more effort to be liked. Thus heterosexual people, even introverts, generally desire the extroverts of the opposite sex more than they want the introverts.

That's just life. Introverts can use their introverted brains to make a plan. All this assertion that introverted men are helpless in the face of this is bullshit.

Stop doing all the things you have been doing for years to actively spent thousands of valuable hours a year not thinking about difficult life problems as something you personally need to solve. That's all you have to do to stop digging deeper into that hole you've dug.

Goonerlouie · 2023-08-12T15:27:08+00:00

This is where you’re getting confused. The “good guy who is open minded” is just another sporty type who actually has a personality.

It doesn’t mean sacrificing looks for a fat neckbeard.

Do you get it now

KayRay1994 · 2023-08-12T16:59:30+00:00

The issue with this post and many others like it is that they assume the issue is with “this is what chad is doing that i’m not” but they’re so heavily lacking in self awareness its hilarious - the active resentment, bitterness, and insecurity all play a bigger role than being nerdy, reading books and “intellectual” humor - and don’t say “i’m not like that in real life” cause low self esteem, spite and bitterness have a certain stink to them that can be seen from a mile away.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2023-08-12T23:12:33+00:00

Either you're an exceptional guy, or a single one. There's no other way. The geek only gets the girl in movies buddy boyos

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-08-12T15:47:22+00:00

Personally I like the bookish and intellectual types. That describes most of the men I’ve dated. My husband is more athletic but he is also into books and had more books than furniture when I met him.

And there are a lot of women who prefer these types over the loud obnoxious types. You are probably trying to date the cheerleaders and Stacies and sorority girls and club thots, so you haven’t noticed the quiet girls dating the quiet boys.

c0pkill3r · 2023-08-12T13:39:33+00:00

I disagree. Number 3 is true for me though. But mostly because fucking all his friends before I fuck the one I really want is funny and pleasurable.

If what you are saying is true, a woman prefers these stereotypical hypermasc things while being hyperfem herself, she might just want a relationship where she's emotionally distant from the dude. Being trans, I want overlapping interests, which can make the connection deeper imo. Some people just don't want a deep connection. They would rather have the superficial utility of the relationship. And that's a huge amount of cishet monogamous natalist neurotypical people.

Soft-Flamingo6003 · 2023-08-12T15:20:15+00:00

Most of this is just outright wrong.

1, that’s because the data is skewed due to the loud & obnoxious men making themselves more available and visible towards women, but trust me no one wants someone who’s not just loud but also obnoxious. That’s the worst type of man out there be it in trad or modern circles.

Most women would prefer a healthy balance, personally someone who reads > adventures type always out for the next thrill. But unless the woman is into such activities herself which in the long term wouldn’t make sense for such a woman to be attracted to a shy guy anyways-most common woman would by a long shot prefer a balanced person.
A typical bro circle will only turn most women off especially when men put this bros over them & also tend to be influenced by their circle and most by virtue tend to be misogynistic. No woman wants a man like that who’s easily influenced or part of a typical bro circle.
Have you interacted with a real life woman? Cause being intellectual & having formal education, being able to carry on a conversation is a requirement to most well educated women.

5, may be the only one you have a point to stand on. Women want men who are romantic. Introverted romantic would be just as successful as an extroverted romantic. In fact an extroverted but non-romantic person who works a room well but doesn’t really show the woman romantic gestures or puts effort into her is at a worse off position than an introvert.

tendrils87 · 2023-08-12T12:27:28+00:00

If she wanted to date someone with feminine interests she'd fuck women. If you want a woman to be interested in all the things you are, maybe you should just fuck men.

fuckthemoddsofreddit · 2023-08-12T12:31:19+00:00

Women pick men on stupid, vain, shallow criteria and then SHOCKER when they don't get the results they want.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2023-08-12T12:54:43+00:00

What's the alternative? Just date men at random because they might be great guyzs?

Elonine · 2023-08-12T15:40:52+00:00

From a business perspective: a product that you can't sell is not a good product. iPhones are overpriced garbage. Business doesn't care. You could have a good product and reasonable price, but if you can't convince people to buy it, then your business is gonna go under. Simple as.

Advertising and sales are as (if not more) important than the product.

enriquemmz · 2023-08-12T16:43:00+00:00

I think most women at some point learn the lesson that shy introverted boys don't make better boyfriends. Turns out, they're no better than everyone else. And conversely, being an athlete does not make someone less intellectual or a worse partner.

MateriallyDetatched · 2023-08-12T13:19:17+00:00

The reason that you're not attractive is because you aren't asserting your dominance by being loud and obnoxious in public enough.

mitrafunfun97 · 2023-08-12T20:46:07+00:00

Touch grass.

Your generalizing of “women” is insane. Like there are a variety of men with different interests and social circles, the same exists for women. In general, you want to be a balanced person. The more you focus on these “Chad” and “nerd” archetypes from an 80’s rom com, the more you’re gonna end up on Reddit whining about this kinda stuff.

Your generalizing of athletes is weird. You know how many martial arts dudes are like complete nerds too? People are complex and have varied interests.

Some people also aren’t sophisticated when it comes to picking partners. Then, you get older, learn about life and get better.

At the end of the day, people are attracted to people for various reasons, and many Venn diagrams exists. I’ve seen partners who are attracted to one another because of shared interests, I’ve seen others because they communicate emotionally the same way, or they come from the same community, etc.

This all just sounds like projection and jealousy about the fact that you’re not athletic. Women don’t hate bookish or intellectual men. Different people are attracted to different things. At the end of the day, women and people in general, don’t like being around insecure people. There are confident bookish folk, and there are insecure athletes. People come in all flavours. Like I said, the goal is to try and be balanced. You don’t have to be an athlete, but get exercise. You don’t have to be an intellectual, but try reading and learning new things. You don’t have to be the best? Just be open minded, kind, and see yourself as a constant work in progress. People are attracted to that.

This is a weird post.

magiksissclit · 2023-08-12T16:03:17+00:00

Sincere question but how old are you, OP? I think you need more experience with women so as to demonstrate how baseless your claims are? The situation isn't as cartoonist as you describe it. A lot of times introverts take longer to get noticed because they're introverts. Not because of some (failing) by women

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-08-12T17:10:00+00:00

I witness how every month: girl breaks up with her jerky ex (usually a kickboxer, footballer, athlete) says she just wants a 'good guy' who is more 'open minded' and likes feminine stuff, yet she ends up hooking up with his best friend/cousin (also a kickboxer, footballer, athlete).

How do you witness this monthly?

Do you think that athletes are incapable of being open-minded and good guys?

Once again, this is an example of only looking at the surface level and assuming she picked the "same guy". Instead of realizing they are two very different dudes.

DarmakJalad · 2023-08-12T19:45:17+00:00

I don’t even like the type of men you describe, but women are generally not rejecting men who would make good long term partners due to their lack of a dodgy sales pitch… they are rejecting guys due to the presence of indicators of being more likely to have social shortcomings. Guys also like the idea of being with a girl who lacks social awkwardness/is charming, but since guys are less sexually selective, higher libido with a higher disgust threshold, and have fewer opportunities, they will take more awkward girls if that is the option, even though they are less likely to have strong long-term romantic feelings for them than they probably would for a more socially desirable girl.

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AreOut · 2023-08-12T12:22:31+00:00

Women prefer guys who ride dirt bikes, than those who ride tourist bikes.

FTFY

anonymous--ENFP · 2023-08-12T13:44:37+00:00

The bro social circle is always a bad idea. If you break up the whole group spreads rumors about you.

jeffry_42069 · 2023-08-12T13:52:31+00:00

Women pretty much require you to be chad in every area of your life. Women will always like the same select few men and they aren’t shy or nerdy. It’s fucked up how they perceive being a douche for confidence but then will say that a respectful guy “isn’t assertive enough”. End of the day it’s all genetics and I think you’re getting at that but have focused on social nuances. Obviously the more social guys will attract more women since women universally view this as attractive. They also universally look at height, and looks. I would say, better to be tall and a nerd bc at least you can work on your personality. Can’t work on genetics.

Mobile-Aioli-454 · 2023-08-12T14:05:30+00:00

Why wouldn’t women want intelligent men though? Street smarts would reasonably only be more interesting for women who are shallow and care about what others think of them

Ambitious-Knee7586 · 2023-08-12T15:25:18+00:00

They don’t even know what they really want

Antisocialite99 · 2023-08-12T16:06:02+00:00

Or dismissing men who feel like giving sales pitches for themselves is low consciousness and not conducive to their enlightenment growth etc .

MotorGur7605 · 2023-08-12T17:57:20+00:00

Honestly I once found a dude reject a girl because she was quiet and nerdy

AudaciousPanther · 2023-08-12T18:08:28+00:00

It just comes down to sexual attraction. If you get a cliche rejection / ghosted after a pleasant first date, they just didn't want your body on top of theirs is all.

Women typically know within 5 minutes if they're open to having sex with a guy or not based on his appearance.

ScienceAteMyKid · 2023-08-12T18:27:23+00:00

I agree with your thesis (sort of), but not your examples.

Punchline: men do the exact same thing.

honeycall · 2023-08-12T19:09:31+00:00

Lovedbythesunandmoon · 2023-08-12T23:05:53+00:00

Introverts do not make good partners. They constantly miss out on promotions and opportunities and tend to stay poorer. You have to twist their arm to get them to take you dancing or go to family functions, and then they'll just complain and be miserable the whole time. Introverts also tend to be self-centered.

Safinated · 2023-08-13T00:36:22+00:00

Not socializing is maladaptive

Bmiller1550 · 2023-08-13T02:10:43+00:00

There is a difference between being introverted and being shy. Most women LOVE a man who projects quiet confidence.

y2k-ultra · 2023-08-13T04:01:39+00:00

As a librarian… no

bruhminer · 2023-08-13T09:00:57+00:00

Most of the time it isn't really good looks that makes these men so attractive

Nah, it's precisely the fact that they're good looking.

zaph239 · 2023-08-13T09:03:02+00:00

You're wasting your time but you're right. I am old enough to see the results of women's extremely poor dating choices.

Broken marriages and toxic relationships they are now trapped in due to kids and no longer having the value in the dating marketplace they once had

processing77 · 2023-08-13T10:09:09+00:00

This sentiment seems very reductive but I’m sure there is a certain Yin and Yang element to it where those with typical “feminine” traits will seek a man with more typical “masculine” traits. It surely creates more balance in a relationship. You can be masculine without the bravado or being an athlete though and still be a good guy. Focus on things like confidence, strength of character, leadership, judgement, being able to make decisions, focus, ambition etc. These are all typically “masculine” traits that a lot of women I know look for in a guy and obtainable to anyone.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-08-13T12:30:33+00:00

There plenty of nerdy, shy, library type women. Most of them are ugly so you don’t want them.

Attractive women (and men) are usually very social, it is easier for them.

So stop looking at women that are extremely different than you, look for the women who share your hobbies, and stop judging them because of their looks if you don’t want to be judged by your looks.

lostnumber08 · 2023-08-13T12:46:42+00:00

The “all women do X thing” mentality automatically prices you out of the market lol!

Electronic-Zucchini9 · 2023-08-13T13:32:27+00:00

You’re either generalizing way too much, or you’re very young. I know there are a lot of women who don’t fall into these stereotypes, and if there weren’t I never would have been able to date.

harmonica2 · 2023-08-14T15:52:46+00:00

Even if women like loud obnoxious guys it's not that hard to be loud and obnoxious for attracting women therefore, is it?

ChemicalDirection · 2023-08-15T12:35:00+00:00

I like the caveat of "outside reddit". You're right in making sure it's there, the people who spend all their time browsing reddit are not the same ones cruising for bros downtown.

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