Women judge men based on how popular they are with other women which leads to a cycle where a few fuckboys get to pump and dump many women

Amiskon2 · 2023-10-11T15:15:09+00:00

They are fuckboys because women don't care and fuck them anyway.

Women pretend they did not know, but precisely knowing those men are popular with women is what made them more attracted to them.

thumpsky · 2023-10-12T01:59:56+00:00

In the court of public opinion The greatest sin in 2023 is holding women accountable for their decisions. This cycle will continue forever until we have 100 percent out of wedlock birth

TomKikkert · 2023-10-11T20:30:10+00:00

Ask any man, when you are single is seems like you can’t get it right, then as soon as you are in a relationship, seems like all the women are interested in you.

That’s when a smart man draws up his “bench” and if things go wrong he can make a quick substitution off the bench, but subbing in a bench player when the other player is in the game usually leads to a disqualification

Zealousideal-Sell137 · 2023-10-12T17:34:38+00:00

You would think this is obvious. I'm a woman and I can tell you all above average women are doing the same thing because a girl who's a 6/10 receives the same amount of male attention as a girl who's 10/10.

So obviously we are all going for the top guys, we don't like that he's with other women, but it comes with territory and it's how we validate men.

We know woman are way pickier than men so a men who a lot of women have slept with has a higher chance of not being a weirdo serial killer creep.

Also, it feels good knowing you're the one who he settled down with.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2023-10-11T15:27:39+00:00

Half true, women do use selection filter. If a man has already been selected by a woman, he is seen as a better catch. There's also a more subversive side, competition for male attention amongst women is higher than most men understand. A large section of women base their self worth on being able to attract more men than their peers. The ultimate flex is stealing someone else's man. So they will target men that are already in relationships. The fallacy in your OP is that it's fuckboys more than anyone else. The same applies to normies.

If anyone thinks I'm full of shit about women using this selection filter. Ask any man that is, or has been married. They'll tell you that a wedding ring increases the attention that you get. Also, in full transparency and fairness. It's easy to pull women in relationships, than it is single women.

Stay toxic

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-11T15:13:57+00:00

They judge men on how much they are physically attractive lol

Ofc it is implicit that if a guy is good looking he will have options and he will be popular

obviousredflag · 2023-10-11T15:23:56+00:00

The whole "he is not a creep if other women like him" is flawed. Whenever I read threads about dating getting harder for women out there, it is always women complaining about a guy who clearly has casual sex with several women but has no desire get exclusive with them. About 95% of the time.

You think a guy who as casual sex with many women needs to tell them he is interested in them for more than casual sex? No, he is attractive to women for casual sex as is. They want to have casual sex with the guy. No need to play them.

The guys who play women to get sex need to do so or they would not be attractive to them for sex. They only get sex because they fake relationship interest.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2023-10-11T16:18:10+00:00

Women are fine with sharing a man ask Nick cannon. They just want to be the main girl, the wife. Women rarely leave if their husband cheats if he is a success.

wtknight · 2023-10-11T14:55:48+00:00

I don’t think that women usually want to date known fuckboys. Hence, the “are we dating the same man”-type groups where women share information.

10throwawayantsy · 2023-10-11T14:44:38+00:00

There's a difference between other women liking him and him putting his penis in all of them

JSears90210 · 2023-10-11T16:14:28+00:00

There are guys who constantly date women in similar/same social circles. Some of this definitely has to do with status.
There are guys who always in a relationship or juggling multiple FWB's because they either fit a lot of criteria for what someone is looking for in a relationship (handsome, successful,charismatic,etc.) or they are either incredibly physicall desirable or incredibly well off or have some other type of outlier trait that makes them very attractive to the opposite sex.
There are also guys who just put in a ton of effort. They don't mind getting shot down and they are putting in a ton of effort to meet women. (They obviously have to be attractive enough to not repel women but I have seen some guys who treat hooking up like a second job and they are constantly with women who are "out of their league.")

RonMexico432 · 2023-10-11T17:31:12+00:00

The term is fuckboi, FYI.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-10-11T15:32:16+00:00

Herd mentality is very common among humans, even more common among women. That's also why preselection has some merit when it comes to woman's attraction, not so much when it comes to a man's attraction.

thumpsky · 2023-10-11T19:56:48+00:00

Most women are brain damaged and have terrible decision making abilities. That’s why historically the father chose the mate.

retal1ator · 2023-10-11T20:43:51+00:00

Women simply want a man that’s desirable by everyone but not one that will stick his dick in any woman just because he can.

As a man I think both men and women should be very selective despite having access to many options. Just because I could fuck many women it doesn’t mean I should or that it is in my best interest. Meaningless sex becomes pointless very fast trust me.

Hot-Law2682 · 2023-10-11T15:27:00+00:00

This is an example of people taking a reasonable concept and twisting it to absurdity.

Social proof is real, showing you can form relationships with others, especially other women, proves you aren't some insane serial murderer and have positive qualities.

However, this doesn't mean women only want men with 50+ past partners and a harem of women in their dms.

Showing you can be friends with women and having some sort of relationship history is enough, though standards change as you age. Obviously more social proof is better, but its not like women are only setting their sights on fuckboys who are surrounded by other women and constantly being hit on.

operation-spot · 2023-10-11T15:02:33+00:00

I can only speak for myself but when I’m looking for a long term relationship, popularity is not my concern. Most times, the men I’m interested in have desirable traits so there are other interested women but that’s not my concern.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-10-11T15:55:01+00:00

I 'judge' men based on how they treat me and others.

Never have I wondered about other women 'taking my place'.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-10-11T17:52:48+00:00

Straight up most women think it’s gross to be with a dude whose been with a lot of women. It’s just fuckboys know their audience and what they are good for and for how long.

wtknight · 2023-10-11T14:50:51+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Novadina · 2023-10-11T15:20:11+00:00

Women want hot men who choose to be with only her because they like her so much. Hot men will have other women attracted to him, women want them to reject the others.

Men are the same, they want hot women who could be porn stars but choose to only be with him. Hot women will have other men attracted to her, men want them to reject the others.

I don’t think there is any flaw here, it’s extremely normal that people want someone attractive and monogamous.

Gravel_Roads · 2023-10-11T19:05:35+00:00

Don’t like most women only have like 5 sex partners in her average life span? I don’t see these hoards of pump-and-dump women all getting railed by elite cabals of Chads.

Most women date and marry within their same socio-economic sphere and they marry men they like the company of for one reason or another. It’s like you guys have forgotten than in the real world, a relationship involves spending like 50-90% of your day in one another’s company. You do errands together and get late night snacks with them. You take care of each other when you’re sick and vomiting.

What other random women think isn’t a metric they affects these sorts of compatibilities. And comparabilities are what make or break a relationship. Because if you don’t genuinely like SOMETHING about one another’s company, this sort of closeness gets really old really fast.

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2023-10-11T15:45:17+00:00

Duh. It's a little word preselection

mrs_seng · 2023-10-11T14:48:28+00:00

I'm going to comment on #3. Yes, we want that paradox. We want a man that can be a player or a bad boy, but chooses us, and only us, and treats us, and only us, like a nice guy.

That paradox exists. I married him.

I understand that paradox is something that should not exist, but it's a matter of context. It's hard to explain unless you meet that person.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-11T15:41:51+00:00

it is always women complaining about a guy who clearly has casual sex with several women but has no desire get exclusive with them.

Valid compliant. Women want relationships, not casual sex or being used for their vagina. Women don't want fuckbois. They want loyal boyfriends and long-term partners.

Brain__Pain · 2023-10-11T14:48:17+00:00

This seems true.

But probably only for casual sex.

And the reason for that is most likely to do with safety.

If a woman hooks up with a random guy, she has no idea how he treated his last five hook ups.

However if a guy has hooked up casually with five of her friends. She'll likely know a whole bunch of information about him.

"Is he respectful? Is he kind? Is he gonna fucking rape me? Is he going to make some minimal effort to make it pleasurable for me?"

That sort of thing. None of that is guaranteed to transfer to her experience with him of course, but it's a much safer wager than some random dude she doesn't know.

Also, fuck you for making me talk like a feminist. Lel.

Safinated · 2023-10-11T17:10:02+00:00

Hm, then why “are we dating the same guy?”

Tresavage1 · 2023-10-12T00:53:24+00:00

Well said but at the same time beating a dead horse because we all know this, probably where the phrase nice guys finish last comes from. Anytime I show genuine interest girls don’t seem as Invested, but if I play down my interest, they chase me like crazy

bruhminer · 2023-10-12T08:31:33+00:00

The most pathetic thing is women who fuck attractive men who they know are only after sex and then pretend they got duped, as if they are so dumb these mastermind chads tricked them and they were powerless to say no.

Aromatic_Ad5473 · 2023-10-11T17:06:19+00:00

Women don’t judge men by how popular they are with other women. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve read today, and it’s been a long day.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2023-10-11T18:00:28+00:00

Biology makes it so no one wants their son to be unable to have kids. If a woman has a son with a short or ugly man, the son will likely be short or ugly. Then other women won't want the son. Then her genes don't get passed down.

Socialization does come from lots of places. And yes, this should affect people who don't want kids too.

candikanez · 2023-10-12T00:36:30+00:00

How do you people write this shit out and still not realize how ridiculous it sounds 😂😂😭 good lordt.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2023-10-11T14:48:10+00:00

I mean yeah. Who wants someone that nobody wants?
Monogamy is weird sometimes.
There is a far difference from someone who views women just as knots on a rope and a man who enjoys casual sex with individuals.

"he is not a creep if other women like him" You didn't prove this.

It seems like you view thing so binary and not as nuanced as things tend to be. People want people who can attract people and have options. People want to work and put in effort to be that person that gets them and that they choose to be with. That is the game. That is usually the dance of romance, pushes and pulls. It's what makes it worth it. No one just wants puddy in their hands.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-11T15:31:00+00:00

All of this phrasing indicates that the options he has don't matter, because he's not to be exploring them. They indicate that past promiscuity is bad, as it isn't conducive to monogamy and shows a man isn't loyal and can be expected to continue this behaviour. The women who are looking for these men generally don't particularly value monogamy. Nobody cares if a man is valued by other women, they care about how much they personally value that man and everyone thinks their own opinion is right. It only really comes up if someone is concerned a man is only acting monogamous because he feels he has just one option, and will quickly cheat given the chance.

Barneysparky · 2023-10-11T18:33:06+00:00

I thought players just used Tinder now.

Are you talking in groups? Like for instance people who go clubbing?

Back in the day clubs got shut down because of VD, all the regulars had sex with the regulars.

Is that what you are talking about? You don't run in that crowd, you don't actually want to party and drink every weekend, so why do you care what those people are doing?

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2023-10-11T17:54:56+00:00

how old are you, 13?

WYenginerdWY · 2023-10-11T18:26:19+00:00

Your whole premise here is flawed.

Yes, we want men that have upstanding traits like loyalty.

No, we don't want men who choose to be with us out of desperation because no one else will have them.

This is not fucking complicated.

Business-Cheesecake2 · 2023-10-11T15:25:24+00:00

what if the player is a chill dude that women like to be around?

Substantial_Bank8005 · 2023-10-11T21:12:24+00:00

Women are more likely to have an anxious attachment style- which are drawn to people with avoidant attachment style.

Essentially their brains are wired to feel they have to “earn” love in order to feel better about themselves. Women with secure attachments find the idea of “earning” love repulsive 🤷‍♀️

fucksiclepizza · 2023-10-11T23:24:50+00:00

Have you ever considered some women just like to fuck and are using fuckboys for their own benefit.

Throwawayfor_advicee · 2023-10-12T00:58:49+00:00

I think you’re confusing whatever you’re saying here with women being cautious about men who have no female friends. It does seem to be a thing to almost vet guys by whether they have platonic female friends, and how they treat those friends. If he’s spending little to no time around women, and hitting on women every time he is spending time with them- he’s probably only around me, just like he’s only around them, for sex. If he’s had long standing friendships with women, spends time with them and has no problem either inviting you or letting you come along if you ask, and not only seems to be respectful to them, but they consider them to be being respectful he probably just respects women and sees us as just as much of people and friend material as men, rather than only worth having around for sex.

I didn’t always pay attention to things like this, but when I heard someone say it and looked back it aligned perfectly with past relationships & situationships. Every guy I was with that had no platonic female relationships ended up either using me, cheating on me, or abusing me in some way. This is obviously anecdotal experience, and I know that it’s not always consistent. Unfortunately a good majority of the time (both for me and others) it seems to be true.

Now digging into your other points

While these are examples of what people who are looking for an exclusive relationship may mean when they say a good man, I don’t think it’s as consistent as “someone who has respect for me, doesn’t use me, or mistreat me” would be.
This whole point just sounds like the mindset of someone extremely insecure. For some reason a lot of society has decided that that’s all women, but men and women can both be this insecure- just like men and women can both be secure.
Where do y’all get this information?? Like, source- please? I can only imagine an insecure middle/high schooler saying this, not a woman.

EsotericRonin · 2023-10-12T09:27:17+00:00

This isn't true. The average man is still dating and having sex.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-10-11T23:20:31+00:00

Well due to being attractive to many women, he will just naturally have more options. It’s really not so different with men choosing women. They want a woman who is loyal but also hot, so naturally someone who will have more options. It’s just that men have a higher sex drive and are more likely to be slutty if they can.

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EndZealousideal4757 · 2023-10-11T15:47:09+00:00

Monkey see, monkey do.

AceOfSpadesGymBro · 2023-10-11T16:37:41+00:00

If you view both male and female behavior through the lens of this universal law: people NEVER want this which they CAN get and ALWAYS want this which they CAN'T get, it will all make sense.

Yes, a man who has other women or is wanted by other women is harder to get than a man who has none and whom no women want. The latter will be very easy to get. Also women have the whole tame him then dump him thong going on.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-11T17:06:36+00:00

Well as far as women wanting men just because other women think he is a good catch how common is this really?

Because I know women who have had friends tell them to go for certain guys or not go for certain guys, and they didn't listen and could not be swayed by their friend's opinions.

StereoFood · 2023-10-11T20:17:53+00:00

Man you just hit the nail on the head.

I had a girl fuck on the first night. She was cute. I had to maintain the player vibes. It’s sweet for about a month. As soon as I started admitting that I’m attracted to her and don’t like seeing multiple people at once, she lost interest. I wasn’t making us exclusive or labeling us at all. Claimed I was a B type personality.

Super interested, wanting to fuck and gettin to know me with questions about my life <- awkward fwb <- nothing…

Senpai2Savage · 2023-10-12T00:42:54+00:00

i just don't even bother to be good in the first place and it's a cakewalk, all too often friends who do try and be good get walked on till they break or are getting cheated on left and right and just don't know it yet.

Davegvg · 2023-10-12T03:57:31+00:00

Well that's one layer of judgement anyway.

It's kind of like the saying - nothing succeeds like success.

When I went from not popular to popular my opportunities squared.

It was weird because to me I was the same guy that couldnt land a gal regardless then I had multiple opportunities

Spyro7x3 · 2023-10-12T09:19:23+00:00

No. I win.

wwwArchitect · 2023-10-12T13:10:39+00:00

Basing your whole mate choice on what other women think and constantly checking in with other women to validate your decision must be exhausting. It indicates low self esteem, poor decision making ability and is generally a low IQ, follow the herd, borderline r selected strategy with poor outcomes (the harem effect). Guys who want a wife should just stay away from these types.

Able-Imagination3695 · 2023-10-12T16:53:29+00:00

You guys love to come up with these theories as though you're actually in proximity to enough women to get this kind of info, or as though you're fuckboy who's doing the pumping and dumping.

It's not that complicated. Fuckboys are fuckboys because they have a tendency to be very attractive and charming. If you want to get deeper into it, attractive genes in a male are rare, and while good looking genes are highly valued by both sexes, it's a lot less common for men to be conventionally good looking than it is for women to be conventionally good looking. If you want to pass down healthy, strong, attractive genes to your offspring, a fuckboy is the prime pick. He won't stick around long enough to help raise those kids though.

*cavewoman voice* Hot man have attractive genes, must bone

That's it. It's not complicated. It's not that difficult to understand.

purplenelly · 2023-10-23T19:45:47+00:00

I completely disagree with everything you think. Life is way deeper than you think. When people say they want a man who is loyal and won't ghost, they don't mean a man who has other options. You are completely projecting because that's what you as a man look for in a woman (a woman young and pretty enough that every man would find her attractive too, however she magically is a virgin because she diligently says no to every man until it's you). When people say they want a man who is loyal and won't ghost, they literally just man a man who is mentally stable and family-oriented. News flash: not all men are perfect little angels who are super mentally stable and are able to continue a relationship and be a reliable family man, even if they don't have "other options". It's like you assume that every man is the same and that a man either has options or will be wonderfully loyal and in love. Have you ever met mentally unstable men? Or just loner, "omega" types? Lots of men can't attract a woman for shit and don't have any options, yet even if you gave them the perfect woman, they'd be utterly unable to make it work because they are highly antisocial, impulsive, or wishy-washy. Lots of men couldn't muster the energy to get out of their coomer habits of ordering takeout, jerking off and living in an apartment with one chair. These men are wired to chase pleasure and just because you give them a woman who's willing to sleep with them doesn't mean they'll have the emotional and psychological ability to become a functional boyfriend, let alone father. Not all men are built in by default to be great partners. Women prefer good partners, and that has nothing to do with the guy having options or not. What you observe is perhaps that a guy who makes a decent partner always does have options because being a decent partner is attractive. Even having the emotional bandwidth to form a social connection is not given to every man. A lot of men can't go two conversations without getting in a fight with their potential date. Then you see the men who at least can connect with other humans and you call them fuckboys.

Title	Women judge men based on how popular they are with other women which leads to a cycle where a few fuckboys get to pump and dump many women
Author	Napo_De_Leone
Upvotes	279
Comments	428
Date	October 11, 2023 2:38 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/175fk1v/women_judge_men_based_on_how_popular_they_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-judge-men-based-on-how-popular-they-are-with.1234799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234799

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