Men desire primarily the top 20% of women, they are just more willing to settle.

Bassist57 · 2024-06-22T20:49:08+00:00

Men find most women attractive. Women find most men unattractive.

Anticapitalist2004 · 2024-09-06T18:02:21+00:00

Everyone desires first class in airplane only some get it

one_ball_policy · 2024-06-22T20:40:50+00:00

Nope. Men find majority of women attractive. Been proven with statistics. Try again

bsmith440 · 2024-06-22T21:02:11+00:00

The bar for women is at the ground, we know.

AutoModerator · 2024-06-22T19:10:54+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-06-22T20:26:51+00:00

It don't help your average women which is a 5 is 5'4 and 170lbs

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-06-22T20:28:41+00:00

How many men are happy with women who “settle” with them?

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-06-22T20:41:54+00:00

I do agree that both genders are hypergamous to a certain degree (and a lot of guys are in denial about this), but, It probably isn’t to the exact same extent as women.

When you account for the differences in libido, the fact that men seem to have less “immutable preferences” (preferences for things that cannot be changed such as height), and the fact that we exhibit things like the “Coolidge effect” at higher rates than women… It’s nearly impossible to seriously argue that men and women are attracted to each at equal rates. It’s clear that men want women more than women want men. And that’s fine. That’s how it is in almost all mammals species. I suspect there evolutionary reasons for it even.

63daddy · 2024-06-22T20:44:23+00:00

If that was true, hypergamy wouldn’t be a thing.

If that were true, height-weight appropriate young women who look a little better than average would find it nearly impossible to get a date.

Demasii · 2024-06-22T20:53:38+00:00

The definition of the word "attraction" seem to differ from person to person around here.

in order to get sex/companionship on a regular basis.

Desiring sex/companionship from someone is attraction to me. Attraction is on a spectrum. You can be really attracted to someone (hot), semi-attracted (cute), just not attracted at all (ew) and anything in between.

neinhaltchad · 2024-06-22T20:55:09+00:00

Wrong.

Male sexuality prioritizes variety while female sexuality prioritizes single mate quality.

Men want as much pussy as they can get at all times.

Women simply want the best one dick they can get at any given time.

The rest is social window dressing.

Take it up with god / nature / the universe if you don’t like it.

pg_throwaway · 2024-06-22T20:56:03+00:00

It's so bizarre that people call it "settling" when you can't get the top 10-20% of the other gender. Most of you aren't top 10-20% either, so why should you expect to be with top 10-20%?

If you have a happy relationship just enjoy it and stop comparing yourselves to other people. If you have the chance at a happy relationship, jump on it, instead of trying to demand more than you're qualified for.

Seriously, this post is just proof of how instagram and participation awards culture has broken the brains of everyone in America.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-06-22T21:14:39+00:00

I'm definitely picking up on a blue pill theme that "men NEED WOMEN!" which I'm feeling certain ways about. Like is this an analysis of the world as it is? Or is it a hypnotic suggestion (and an ego boost) that "you can't live without us!"?

one_ball_policy · 2024-06-22T21:18:02+00:00

https://graphpaperdiaries.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/dp76ujlvaaafdt6.jpg

FreitasAlan · 2024-06-22T21:22:35+00:00

Your statement is ambiguous. Everyone likes the top 40% less than the top 20%, 10%, 5%, or 1%. All humans and beings want more and better stuff and relationships. This statement is so evident that it’s useless. 20% is just an arbitrary number there. And that's not what analogous statements for women mean—both men and women like the opposite gender in a Pareto distribution. The curve for women is sharper because of supply and demand and the way sex is more costly and riskier for women. That's all.

thedarkracer · 2024-06-22T21:28:17+00:00

Whereas women are much more willing to be “alone,” or just get hookups to supplement their lifestyle(according to men), than settle for a non-Chad.

If they were, they would tend to pursue hobbies which have more isolation like gaming, trekking alone, exploration, scientific study and research. All of those areas are predominantly men not women.

Also males tend to be more isolated than females, if women were willing to be alone, it would be the opposite, wouldn't it? https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10409601/

This gives the appearance that men do not follow the 80/20 rule; they do, they are just more willing to settle for someone they are not attracted to.

You got any proof for that? Like dating apps especially the okcupid study showed an even distribution of men rating women whereas women went with the 80/20 rule. Like women say that females are really less on online dating apps so you deny your gender follows the 80/20 rule, men are in large numbers there so you should see the uneven distribution but you don't. You have been proven wrong on two accounts.

Wattehfok · 2024-06-22T21:44:22+00:00

Why is everyone here so shocked by the idea that people find hot people hot.

It doesn’t make them a good partner.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2024-06-22T21:49:12+00:00

No. Men as a rule are not naturally hypergamous. I see this all the time talking to my fellow man.

Us guys who only desire the top women is a strategy/mentality adopted after a cost-benefit/ risk-reward analysis of the game, and I am talking about myself here.

There are lots of beautiful women I'd fuck if the risks and costs were lower. But they aren't, so I pursue the best women because the reward and benefits justify the assumption of risk and cost.

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2024-06-22T21:58:43+00:00

I would add that the only difference is that the settling is the same but it comes earlier for men. In middle school all boys are after the same 2-3 girls bit we face rejections earlier and adapt until aiming for your league earlier

SoldierExcelsior · 2024-06-22T22:15:15+00:00

squeal squash degree depend languid workable sparkle literate roof include

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-06-22T22:24:28+00:00

It's hard to explain. Men have a wider variety of what is considered attractive. You can think Sidney Sweeny is hot and also find that random waitress you saw at Chili's cute.

VWGUYWV · 2024-06-22T22:24:54+00:00

Everyone desires attractive people

Attraction is not self reflective

Like as you gain weight there isn’t some magical switch that makes you start liking obese people

However men have an advantage in that we find more women attractive than women find men

This combines with 5 men not being able to offer 7 rated women sex in exchange for attention describes most of what I see

Hard_Corsair · 2024-06-22T22:39:47+00:00

Statistically, OKCupid reported that most men were chasing the top 35%, but otherwise you're on point.

wtknight · 2024-06-22T22:50:00+00:00

If a guy is still getting an erection for a woman outside of the top 20%, then he is still "desiring" her. The issue with women is that they are supposedly not getting sexually aroused for men whom they don't consider top men (whether these are the same top men for each woman is arguable), and therefore if they end up with one of these men whom they don't even sexually desire, then they are definitely settling.

So men do desire women outside the top 20%, even if they might prefer a woman in the top 20%.

spacekiller69 · 2024-06-22T23:21:02+00:00

Because of Obesity the health standards for both genders went to hell so people who were mid in the 80s are now exceptional attractive.

jhunter2015 · 2024-06-22T23:23:35+00:00

Statistics & Research has proven this false. Most women want a guy taller,richer,and more established than herself. Most guys just want a normal girl. Men are also way better at settling so this disproves your point.

Look at all the beta dudes that become stepdads out of desperation/loneliness.

caption291 · 2024-06-22T23:32:34+00:00

Being more attracted to A than B but "settling" for B doesn't mean you aren't attracted to B.

Terroo122 · 2024-06-23T00:01:35+00:00

A man can be attracted to the top 20%, but not in regard to keeping her. Men desire women for different reasons than what women desire from a man. It's not likely a man will go for a Woman for her finances; more likely for sex and because she is physically attractive.

Top 20 in a different scope would be wives and mothers for children, but the statistics say otherwise due to divorce rates and the desire women have to prioritize momentary fun over long-term commitments to family and selflessness.

He can desire, he may even succeed in acquiring, but if the women is not a wife or a mother, top 20 can easily become the lower 20.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-06-23T00:28:28+00:00

I am indeed desiring women from the top 20%.Of intelligence distribution.

lastoflast67 · 2024-06-23T00:32:45+00:00

no the avg man genuinely finds the avg woman attractive

Nihi1986 · 2024-06-23T00:55:27+00:00

Not so much but there's certainly some hypocrisy about it, just like how 80% men are invisible, a big % of women are relatively invisible too.

Men can definitely fall in love very easily with a 5 or 6 though (personality included), and many won't feel like they are settling. Plenty of men will bed a 4 or even lower but not that many will want the relationship.

Xx-Apatheticjaws-xX · 2024-06-23T00:59:22+00:00

I don’t think this is true.

I think it’s just that often a woman’s hotness has nothing to do with your chances of getting with her.

A lot of men realise this, especially if they go through a phase of trying to approach a lot of women.

You get rejected often. But what you find is that a lot of the time the most conceited and nasty or unnecessarily cruel women are actually the least attractive and interesting.

I actually get approached sometimes by some women and I found that the women that approach me are far more attractive than the women that would reject me.

I swear to god something I learned and the most painful thing ever was when I approached a woman who for me was a legitimate ten out of ten…

She was from a particular country and she also had the most 10/10 personality, just a fun woman.

She was totally into me, but my mind wouldn’t accept it, I didn’t even ask for her number or try and close, I just walked away. And only over like a week did I realise she was one of the best women I’ve ever met.

The way she reacted was ten times more pleasing and satisfying than some of my best reactions ever.

Yet I had approached some women “just for the sake of it” who looked weird, below average attractiveness in some ways and they responded with very dismissive or rude reactions.

As a guy you learn that there’s no point “being humble” or “going for your league” because it doesn’t exist and honestly women who are more attractive are kinder and you have a better chance of having fun with good looking women.

No offence. Also I’ve been with a group and watched guys shoot their shot, one time I will never forget. Guy older than me all day is throwing lines at middle aged or early 30s women a bit younger than him all day.. they all are letting themselves go, look haggard or are nothing to sneeze at. They all ignore him and often scrunch their faces in disgust.

By evening he walks up to a legit 9/10 20 year old who is basically half his age.. She immediately has an enamoured look on her face, let’s him walk next to her yet adopts a bounce in her step she sways side to side grinning like crazy.. She promptly turns round and walks with him to his place and immediately lays him…

I swear to god I couldn’t make this up and it honestly changed my perception permanently.

Guys be totally outcome dependent and just go for it, you’ll prosper and you will realise you Never should have cared.

2024-06-23T01:28:04+00:00

What do you consider the top 20%, and do you think it’s the same for all men? Because if you do, that’s your problem

DietTyrone · 2024-06-23T01:56:26+00:00

Settling isn't about desire, it's about feeling like you got less than you could and not being content with who you ended up with because of that.

Example, I could desire a woman who looks like Kim Kardashian in her prime but have enough common sense to realize I probably don't qualify for a chick on that level. Then get with a woman I find attractive but may not be as attractive as Kim but still be happy. Most men know they don't qualify for a top 20% woman, so they don't stress over not getting one.

This is not the same as someone banging or having flings with someone in or near the top 20%. Then getting with an average person and feeling like they got less than they deserved. That would in fact affect how content someone is in a relationship.

than settle for a non-Chad.

This is exactly what I'm talking about. Most women are not top 20%, so why would they be entitled to a top 20% Chad. How exactly is plain Jane "settling" because she didn't get a guy above her level. It's literally delusional.

they are just more willing to settle for someone they are not attracted to.

Or, most men have enough sense to understand that they are average and thus are okay with an average woman.

whereas redpill claims suggest that average woman get approached at an even distribution.

Never heard a single person ever claim this.

Ok_Landscape_592 · 2024-06-23T02:24:56+00:00

News just in men given the chance would also opt for the hottest people. In other news, men are usually not given the chance.

Youngrazzy · 2024-06-23T02:44:13+00:00

We are not going to ignore women. We might treat attractive women better but we are not ignoring avg to ugly women.

Cicero_Johnson · 2024-06-23T02:48:48+00:00

A smart man does not want anything better than a 7.5, with 6.5-7.0 being the ideal range. Once you get into 8.0 and above, they will know that they *always* have options, and you can never count on them still being your devoted wife when you come home from work.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-06-23T03:06:43+00:00

Ok let's assume this is true... so what? Men are more willing to be in relationships with women, why is that bad?

Anonreddit96 · 2024-06-23T03:54:27+00:00

You do know that you are contradicting yourself, right?

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-06-23T03:59:11+00:00

The men on here will ramble on for pages about how desirable hot young thin women are, and how once you’ve “hit the wall, you’re all but useless.”

But then they get really angry at the “delusional” women who are young and thin and hot and have lots to offer a relationship try to get men of the same caliper. Because “their standards are too high.”

Then they get upset that these thin young and hot women don’t want them because they’re average - losers, lazy, unambitious, ugly, living in their moms basement, don’t want anything more out of life, have zero compatibility, etc. and the men feel they should be loved “just the way they are” despite the fact that they don’t want women just the way they are - they want them independent but not more successful than him, naturally beautiful but doesn’t put too much effort into her appearance or high maintenance, insecure, but not so insecure she seems needy, “the cool girl” who doesn’t have any boundaries, thinks it’s just great he does nothing but plays video games or goes out with friends while she’s available whenever he calls or wants to fuck, agreeable, feminine, quiet, meek, and will cook and clean.

Then they get upset when those young thin and hot women do want them, because “they’re just using them.” “They just expect so much from men these days! I have to shower daily, give her attention, have basic compatibilities and please her in bed and not just jackrabbit a dry hole until sex is over when I cum?” What is he, super man?

Then they get upset when RP men put in work to be desirable to higher tier women because “she should have liked me before.” Even though he had nothing to offer a relationship and was more of a leech than anything.

So it almost seems like all of this has absolutely nothing to do with women, and everything to do with the fact that they’re angry that they can’t control women enough to guilt/coerce young women into being with them and feeling lucky for the privilege of being with their average ass.

philseven12 · 2024-06-23T06:29:35+00:00

Setting for men is the cup is half full mindset. Settling for women is the cup is half empty

There is no shortage of ugly, fat, and or normal women who bully their boyfriend or husband because she think that she can score a few higher standard deviations of attractiveness in a mate.

Men pressing wife's and girlfriends because she doesn't meet the standard is not something normal or average men do.

Women who get pressed and experience this perceive the guy she's with as average but in reality he not because if he pressing you over your looks and weight, he's able to replace.

Women know the difference but they play like they don't. A real average dude cant even get emotional investment from women. If you're invested, then he not regular

Women react like a lawnmower with no gas when she think the dude is basic

2024-06-23T07:42:27+00:00

I'll meet you half-way. I think some very attractive, masculine men can hold out for top women just like attractive women can the other way around: and at the same time (ironically), older, weaker, (usually) unattractive men can have high standards as well, because they simply don't have as much lead in their proverbial pencils as they used to; it takes more to turn them on (I think this is one thing that women often misunderstand: sometimes losers aren't pulling a sour grapes per se; they just aren't hungry enough on a base, carnal level to appreciate the grapes).

Basically men are all over the shop here. Some ugly fat/weedy guys are happy to settle. Some ugly fat/weedy guys don't feel lust as strongly, so they just aren't driven to do it. Some attractive hot guys hold out for (Giga) Stacy, some attractive hot guys are just rearing and compelled to stick it in anywhere, anytime and can't help but think guys who are sensitive about looks, weight, or anything else to the extent that they don't actively seek out sex for the sake of quenching the thirst effeminate and defective.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-06-23T08:43:04+00:00

I see you found your niche OP. It's about subverting red/black pills, misunderstanding it and making false equivalencies in favor of women. 5/10 man who is with 5/10 woman did not settle even if he obviously will find 5+/10 women more attractive, as that's how attraction works. Settling implies you had and should have better than what you have and therefore you resent and treat worse someone you settled for. Or often do not desire them at all! The notion men do this to women as much as women do it to men is outright laughable. Average man will not get interaction with above average women making him think he is on their level, this happens only to women, same with chad or nothing mentality. Man aims for what he can get, women aim for the best that exists.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-06-23T12:37:27+00:00

No, men commit to settling when they do settle, they realize that it's the best they could do. Women don't. Today a woman will set the marriage on fire and burn it to the ground at the smallest chance of landing the guy she actually wants to fuck.

claratheresa · 2024-06-23T12:40:17+00:00

The main problem is that many men feel entitled to women they will never get -because the median man simply has nothing to offer in a society where women are financially independent.

They actually do not respect women at their level, either because they do not see themselves for what they really are or because they simply feel entitled to someone hotter.

So they settle, but then they keep seething with resentment because they think “chad” is stopping them from getting someone hotter.

This entitlement leads them to demand unpaid labor from whoever they actually do settle with, and to cheat when something they think they deserve becomes available.

ironically, the affair partner is often someone who has kids/has “hit the wall”/has a high body count, but is someone unattainable to this guy in his 20s.

Theageofwonder · 2024-06-23T12:45:22+00:00

Men are attracted to all sorts of women.Men rate women on a normal curve with the average being an average value.It is the women who rate men with a normal curve shifted to the left (average is lower).

Have you not all read dataclysm? the famous evidence from 2 million OK cupid profiles?

Cmon.

<image>

2024-06-23T12:54:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2024-06-23T14:47:59+00:00

lol oh like another wokie trying the “hurr durr durr but what about a da man ah” like seriously stop embarrassing yourself.

80/20? You say lololol hey hop out of the past & come back to us. Men swipe right as a whole roughly 60% of the time & women swipe right 1-3%!

So seriously stfu with this whataboutism! Like it’s not even close the problem we are dealing with as guys.

I bet every bottom of the barrel chick on this forum has more chances to talk to guys then we have to talk to girls.

This always comes down to the women here wanting us to date obese chicks. Every time! Have you wkmen ever considered just not being fat? Of course not..!

No-Mess-8630 · 2024-06-23T16:43:04+00:00

[permanently deleted]

malibubarb13 · 2024-06-23T18:51:46+00:00

They're more willing to settle because they don't have to deal with pregnancy.

Also, there are a lot of men who expect women to pay half the bills and do all the housework, childcare and emotional labor. I've definitely met these men. Half of those men weren't Chads. One was 23, no degree, lived at home and made minimum wage. He was also fat and 5"7.

Average Joe's and lower are just toxic as Chad, but Chad has the sex appeal, emotional intelligence and social capital to compensate for his flaws. Joe's and lower dont

Jello_Vivid · 2024-06-23T20:20:21+00:00

I think for sex on average men could do that with a wide range of women however when it comes to a relationship I think men are much more selective and want the higher quality women in terms of values and beauty.

Mr_Vaynewoode · 2024-06-23T21:02:14+00:00

Not really. The crazy hot spectrum is real

Hungry-Society-7571 · 2024-06-23T21:20:45+00:00

Okay. I won’t date, then.

Proudvow · 2024-06-24T00:49:18+00:00

This gives the appearance that men do not follow the 80/20 rule; they do, they are just more willing to settle for someone they are not attracted to.

Nonsense, we've seen studies and there are none where men only rate 20% of women as attractive.

y2kjanelle · 2024-06-24T02:52:56+00:00

It’s funny because I’ve seen multiple men claim that they find their own girlfriends not that attractive or “less” than them…

Gfs sitting at home chillin or workin and their bfs are online talking about how they dislike them and how much they wish they could get someone hotter.

These guys walking around feeling superior bc they “are reasonable” and then go online saying basically “fuck this bitch” about their own partners. I even caught a guy bragging about how wonderful his partner is drooling over a young asian woman he saw at the gym in a post on his profile….

Even when these dudes DO pull their SHIT partners to the very women who gave them a chance💀💀

It’s so foul LMAO.

Razieloo · 2024-06-24T22:40:19+00:00

If you find an x percentage of girls attractive but you always settle for the y percentage then the latter is the true one. That's it.

The "correct" bracket is just the one you use most often.

Title	Men desire primarily the top 20% of women, they are just more willing to settle.
Author	nogoatgoesawry
Upvotes	49
Comments	483
Date	June 22, 2024 7:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dm32lp/men_desire_primarily_the_top_20_of_women_they_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-desire-primarily-the-top-20-of-women-they-are.1522295 https://theredarchive.com/post/1522295

Comments