Women often give horrible dating advice

szclimber · 2026-03-23T16:42:20+00:00

When women give dating advice they describe behavior they want from men who they are already attracted too. Her dating advice won't turn an undesirable man into a desirable one.

Spicy_take · 2026-03-23T18:25:35+00:00

Yeah. Women give good relationship advice. But they’re not worth listening to for getting your foot in the door for a date.

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-03-23T16:33:27+00:00

Take your time to text her back, don’t invest a lot early, make her earn your attention, don’t tell her where you stand and keep the mystery going.

Yeah this is great and all, but when you say this, it doesn't turn you into Chad. In practice, you sound like this guy. When you do this, you'll seem like the meme chud standing in the corner wearing black clothes and a fedora, theatrically looking cold and edgy and imagining he's a bad boy now.

Zabadoodude · 2026-03-23T16:15:29+00:00

There's a middle ground to be found. If she is demonstrating interest in you, reciprocating will help her feelings grow. But demonstrating that you are more into her than she is into you will make women lose respect, and eventually attraction to you.

Pleasant-Toe8878 · 2026-03-23T16:26:43+00:00

This is true for women in the dating market. There was this great comment by /u/shmupsy:

if a woman is out there looking for the best guy she can find, why would she muddy her pool by giving a struggling guy tips on how to get in there?

And to be honest, there's not much to add for this demographic.

But — and this is important — post-menopausal women do give good advice. My grandmother told me several times to be careful with marriage as it will determine a lot in my life. And I've had advice of similar good quality from other old ladies.

Pitiful-Purple-7459 · 2026-03-23T18:56:28+00:00

Women's dating advice for themselves pretty much suck. Imagine trying to take advice with someone who's like yeah this guy checks all the boxes but he's only five inches taller than me when I wear heels.

Where as the most unhealthy self-improvement advice works for men. If you tell a man don't focus on women for a little while you get as rich as he can and work out because these women are shallow you will almost definitely have more success unfortunately

PotentialPresent399 · 2026-03-23T16:42:17+00:00

This is true to increase your numbers but this will not hold onto an actual good woman.

If someone passes your guy "shit tests" and you really vibe with them don't continue this behavior. You don't have to drop it completely but decrease the frequency a TON.

This will absolutely push someone genuinely interested in you away after initial attraction fades.

Neptune-Jnr · 2026-03-23T17:21:51+00:00

To be fair men also give other men trouble dating advice quite regularly.

AMDisappointment · 2026-03-23T17:43:26+00:00

Take your time to text her back

Better match her energy here.

don’t invest a lot early

Make her invest early as well, get intimate ASAP.

make her earn your attention

You don't need to do this. Most women won't do this anyway.

don’t tell her where you stand and keep the mystery going.

Completely true. Don't let her know. Have plausible deniability.

JasonPegasi · 2026-03-23T18:26:03+00:00

They don’t mean to do this, by the way. I think it’s something sort of like wishful thinking, like “I wish this was how I worked so I will assert that this is how I work”, or maybe that even is too conscious compared to what’s really happening. Perhaps this kind of advice is a reflection of her conscious mind but her heart is not really in agreement

She finds these things likable in a guy and therefore concludes that they make her fall in love with a guy but those are not the same thing

justdontsashay · 2026-03-23T16:20:45+00:00

Who tf says “be a man who yearns”? The rest of that sounds like you’re only hearing half of the advice, though…

Looks aren’t everything…does not mean that appearance doesn’t matter. It means that to keep a woman’s interest you have to have a personality, too.

Be open about your feelings early on…you have to be strategic with it, so do women. Being completely emotionally closed off will make it impossible to connect, so yeah, show a little openness and vulnerability early on so that she feels like she is actually getting to know who you are. But don’t trauma dump, that’s a turn off

It’s terrible advice if you can’t see nuance, but just normal advice if you actually understand what people are saying.

love_in_october · 2026-03-23T19:12:37+00:00

Your advice will only work if she already likes you a lot. Otherwise you'll piss her off and she'll quickly avoid you and forget about your existence. She'll most likely assume you aren't interested and move on.

welphellothere01 · 2026-03-23T17:34:50+00:00

Women who are “girls girl” give horrendous advice.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2026-03-23T20:14:46+00:00

Would you take Fishing lessons from a Squid? 🦑 Hunting Lessons from a skunk 🦨? Gambling lessons from a one armed bandit ? 🎰

bondepart · 2026-03-23T16:45:44+00:00

This is really toxic. Why are men into telling each other that women really want to be treated like shit?

eyes-tiger · 2026-03-23T16:17:14+00:00

The biggest issue is when men are seeking dating advice from women they’re often insecure if not a bit desperate. Women can pick up on that very easily and typically don’t want to date someone like that. So, even if they take the woman’s advice, they still need to work on their confidence.

icypiee · 2026-03-23T16:15:58+00:00

Take your time to text her back, don’t invest a lot early, make her earn your attention, don’t tell her where you stand

I would stop seeing this man because I only date men clearly interested in me and not afraid to show it. Likewise, I only give my time to men I’m interested in and I’m not afraid to show my desire for him.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-03-24T08:24:09+00:00

Yeah, but to be fair, they have calmed down on that horrible advice in recent years since being called out. Since it definitely helped lead more men to RP, that advice did too much harm to still be given to men in any serious manner. So now they kind of back away from that being the advice that men need and put looks as more important than they previously did.

Adam_Faith_No_More · 2026-03-24T10:42:45+00:00

It's called "shit testing". And on a societal level, it serves two functions:

1) It weeds out the weak.

2) It maintains hopeful backups in their place, so that they at least can serve a useful function if all else fails.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-03-24T18:41:25+00:00

Absolutely! Women are THE worst at telling men what women want.

“Be nice” “Be yourself” it’s crap just absolute crap.

Now, there “might” be some utility to speaking with women after you’re in a relationship. But short of that, women are the worst at telling you what attracts them to men.

You have to see what women do to determine what attraction is.

Other men are the best for dating advice.

chile-pica · 2026-03-23T19:13:35+00:00

I had a lady tell me once that I should get to know a gals routine so that I can intercept her and create a situation to ask for her number.

I was like…. You’re secret tip is….. stalking?

ThatBitchA · 2026-03-23T16:37:07+00:00

I'd rather take advice from women than men.

Men's advice seems to be based on appeasing their egos.

caubelangthang245 · 2026-03-23T16:35:25+00:00

The funny thing is that women give other women advice are terrible too. I don't even know they're doing this out of spite or jealousy either.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-03-23T16:14:46+00:00

Then stop asking for it

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-03-23T16:42:59+00:00

If you're referring to online dating advice, anyone taking it seriously is plain idiotic. No one knows how you interact or behave with women in real life, exactly what were you expecting?

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2026-03-23T16:34:39+00:00

Men give terrible advice too. They are self servicing in their advice.

Not many people are honest, even when they believe they are being.

bluepillarmy · 2026-03-23T17:31:29+00:00

I’m not a woman but I have some awesome dating advice - don’t date.

Just hang out with a bunch of people and have fun. Then you’ll start hooking up before you even realize it.

Then after intimacy has begun, you start going out to eat and stuff. Trust me, dinner tastes better when you know you’re gonna have sex for dessert.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-03-23T16:21:30+00:00

“Be a man who yearns” - I haven't heard it, and i need more context about this advice

“act like a gentleman” - that's right, yes.

“be open about your feelings early on” - that's right, yes.

“looks aren’t everything” - that's right, yes.

"even if she finds you physically attractive this type of advice will make her find you less attractive" - how? For example how "looks aren't everything" will make you less attractive?

"Take your time to text her back, don’t invest a lot early, make her earn your attention, don’t tell her where you stand and keep the mystery going." - one, if women around you are into those men, they have issues. Two, don't you think that you might have tunnel vision here? You think that those guys are attractive BECAUSE they do all of that, and not because of something else?

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gyurto21 · 2026-03-23T17:50:31+00:00

The best advice I ever heard was that something that has to be forced shouldn't be forced. People get what they give.

Forsaken-Station-113 · 2026-03-23T21:53:19+00:00

Many women give bad advice, but not everyone. The problem is, men don't understand that different behaviors attract different types of women. What you initially described is what a decent woman looks for in a long-term partner; yearning, being a gentleman, emotionally mature and direct, etc. What you and other men look for, is advice on how to make women find you hot enough to sleep with you, or how to attract bad partners. Women want different things from someone who is "hookup material" and someone who is "husband material".

Lenovo_Driver · 2026-03-24T00:54:23+00:00

Looks matter - if you want to walk into a room and probably instantly attract several women who see you without you even interacting with them. Very few men in any environment can do just that. Looks matter if you want to get laid regularly and have lots of casual sex. But are the men who are supposedly asking women for advice and being told this asking this specific question? How can I get laid regularly? Because I'm pretty sure if you did, from all the interactions I've had with women the answer would be: you have to be hot.

Looks don't matter for getting A girlfriend. If the expectation is for an attractive girlfriend without being attractive yourself, then you are delusional.

mooncake_bites · 2026-03-24T01:09:05+00:00

I notice a lot of men don’t seem to understand balance and only think in extremes..?

And the truth of the matter is, there’s only so much advice one can give not knowing what you look like and how you act on dates. We can only gather based on the information you provide. Strangely, it seems like all men are just perfect and yet, can’t seem to get with a woman..? Without fail, there is always at least something going on that’s causing it. But if you yourself aren’t self aware enough and objective with yourself to figure out what that is, how can we?

Not to mention, newsflash, just as there are different men in the world, there are different women. So what works for an extroverted woman who likes forward men might not work for a shy woman who gets easily intimidated and needs time to warm up.

Local-Willingness784 · 2026-03-24T02:48:56+00:00

What dating advice have you lot got from women? preferably women irl and not anyone online.

coochie4sale · 2026-03-24T22:20:26+00:00

I've never needed to play this game of mystery when a woman was interested in me. I treat attraction as a binary choice: either they like me for who I am or they don't. I'm not auditioning for their approval because if they don't like me there are other woman who will. When a woman is into you it compensates for A LOT.

nstizle · 2026-03-25T06:00:51+00:00

Makes me wonder about what happened to the time when men were the prize. When women once they hit reproductive age started daydreaming about the man of their dreams and actively got his attention and desired to be with him and marry him and have his children. My God when did men fall so far.

brazenbull09 · 2026-03-25T18:09:43+00:00

Someone in this comment section already pointed out that the advice they give is for the instance where they are already attracted to the guy.

Another perspective is that women date differently from men. The reality is, during the beginning stages and even later stages of seeing someone, a man puts in all the work. Plan the dates, pay for them, keep the conversations flowing and interesting, just majority(and sometimes totality) of the effort is on him.

This allows women to treat dating as a hobby or game sort of. Their advice sounds more like tips and tricks that barely even work. Every date they go on is an experience that they can just choose to forget about, as men we dont have that luxury because of the effort we put into actually making things happen.

SpazzyPandaa · 2026-03-27T19:03:46+00:00

Men usually say this because more often than not, many of you actually know how to treat people with respect but don't think that should extend to women.

Leading a woman on, emotionally manipulating her in order to get her to date or like you, will not have you see success in the way you're being brainwashed into believing.

Perhaps seeing women as actual real, autonomous beings, treating them with respect like you do/can with other men, would actually get you farther, rather than seeing us as cawk sleeves that need to be conquered and dominated. 🫡

AnyBroccoli2280 · 2026-03-28T05:56:45+00:00

So what are you aiming at horrible dating advice? What would you advise? As far as men giving horrible dating advice?

Imakemyownnamereddit · 2026-03-28T08:34:52+00:00

Most women lie to themselves because they have to. The advice they give men is how they want to believe they date, instead of how they actually date.

How many women want to admit that looks are the main thing they care about? How many want to admit they are drawn to dark traits and toxic men?

To admit that is to admit they are responsible for their own bad relationships and poor dating choices.

ground__contro1 · 2026-03-28T17:06:05+00:00

I’ve never heard anyone advise anyone else to be “someone who yearns”

The fact is men’s dating advice is shit too. You have one side saying looks aren’t everything and the other side saying they are everything. Neither is true and you have to take advice from multiple areas to be well rounded.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-03-23T19:46:49+00:00

Women often give horrible dating advice

Wait till you see the advice men give, whatever they're on, I wanna try it because it sounds like an EPIC trip.

A lot of women give awful dating advice to most guys. “Be a man who yearns”, “act like a gentleman”, “be open about your feelings early on”

I don't exactly know what a "man who yearns" stands for, as in, what exactly is he yearning for and how that is expressed. If that's the keyword for "simp", yep that's indeed awful advice. You definitely should not simp. Definitely act like a gentleman though. Definitely be open about your feelings early on (unless you've known each other for 3 days and you decide it's an optimal time to propose or wait outside her door in the morning to hand her a bouquet of red roses and whisper "I love you", in which case, please don't).

“looks aren’t everything”.

Of course they're not. Men who genuinely believe that and act like it are a lot more attractive than better looking guys who got brainwashed by whatever square jaw conspiracy and now think they gotta pay their way out of not being super pretty.

If you want to do well at dating honestly you’re better off doing what the guys she complains about do.

Yes because all mentally stable women are masochists who want what makes them unhappy.

Take your time to text her back, don’t invest a lot early, make her earn your attention

So, basically, "don't be overwhelming and clingy" in redpillian? Women mostly never wanted overwhelming and clingy, if she says "I want a man who responds and shows interest" and you somehow think that's contradictory to not responding immediately, not investing a lot early and expecting reciprocity in interest and attention, I don't know what to tell you.

don’t tell her where you stand and keep the mystery going.

You're dating not joining a riddle club, what's with the mystery?

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-23T16:43:58+00:00

“Women’s advice sucks. Manipulate her instead”

(To be clear, take your time to text her and don’t invest a lot early are fine in a vacuum - the rest is where it gets into manipulative territory and it kinda recontexualizes your initial statements)

toasterchild · 2026-03-23T17:32:54+00:00

"Lokks aren't everything" isn't saying advice so that might be part of the miscommunication here. Who the f says "act like a gentleman? "Are you going to your gma for advice?

I get it, women haven't helped solve your issues, but if it were simple everyone would just know the magic answer and no advice would ever be needed.

hyprgehrn · 2026-03-23T18:25:08+00:00

men give bad advice for women, and women give bad advice for men, because we project ourselfs in the person of the same gender, and we give a advice to incress their power in the relationship.

This is a form of group in bias, and I read a reseach saying women are more affected to this.

Pleasant-Toe8878 · 2026-03-23T16:29:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

YveisGrey · 2026-03-23T17:28:17+00:00

Hard disagree.

RP advice is worse that’s why it leads to BP.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-03-23T17:56:31+00:00

In my experience a lot of men don’t really want dating advice though, they want to get laid and that’s a completely different avenue.

In all seriousness, none of that advice is objectively bad. There’s nuance to all of it though right? Like “be open about your feelings early on” doesn’t mean trauma dump on the first date, it means let her know your intentions and TELL HER you are attracted to her.

If you refuse to see nuance or even recognize that women’s advice might not be exactly what you want to hear because our dating experience is different, then yeah the advice might not look great at face value.

Title	Women often give horrible dating advice
Author	DriverInitial8305
Upvotes	161
Comments	312
Date	March 23, 2026 4:07 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1s1l3vb/women_often_give_horrible_dating_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-often-give-horrible-dating-advice.1576226 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576226

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