Weekly Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-02-15T21:00:23+00:00

This weekly thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc......

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im not the arbitrary of when it's fine to give up

Sounds like you are.

i just find it really fucking sad that 18-22yos are giving up on formative youth because they want it to be instant and easy

If there's enough men giving up, maybe we need to find out why, rather than blaming them for not trying hard enough.

What % of men should give up before you say "ok, there's something deeper going on here, it's not just the bottom 1% who are incels"

is giving up and waiting be the back up beta at 35 really a solution?

There is no solution for some men. THAT'S the truth. Even with the best of looksmaxxing, and changing your personality, they will be 'meh' in the eyes of most women. If they give up and just stay home and play games all day, I'd say more power to them, they deserve to find whatever happiness they can. They are not obliged to dance like a monkey, and I want this life choice to be normalized.

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i see that for body shape but it's limited to like variations of the hourglass body. its also true for hair types and styles but conventionally attractive facial features are still super super restrictive

Very true about the body shape. Though, when I see "unconventional" features/"flaws" (features like big noses, big nose bridge bumps, "flaws" like acne, etc.), a lot of them are actually praised and people create like appreciation posts and stuff for them time to time which get pretty popular and idk. Good stuff. It may also just be how my fyp is curated (though I do get a lot of just "undeniably" pretty people too).

altho now that I think about, that in and out of itself has more variety than older beauty standards.

Definitely!

for me personally my time on tiktok changed my aesthetic for the better but I kinda make a conscious effort to shield my self esteem lmao

I feel that.

Same for me, although I feel like it doesn't hit my self esteem much because I already have a low self esteem/I feel like I was just born insecure so there's not much of anything that can either raise or lower my self esteem if that makes sense? Complicated.

It's just stagnantly low no matter compliments or whatever (my friend who has had a terrible experience w/ EDs is convinced that I need help & I have BDD but I swear she's wrong, I just don't want to be perceived or looked at?? like I wish I was a floating entity idk). As far as looks go I've just convinced myself not to compare myself to other people (especially b/c I don't really get jealous about looks, b/c instead I just feel like simping for everyone who looks sweet to me, like I never want to get in a mindset of blaming others for my insecurities -- not saying you or anyone does ofc!!! -- and I like eyecandy).

Sometimes I do compare cool skills and travel lives (both of which show up on social media so much haha) and get in my head about that. Simultaneously, it can serve as motivation but that's a very thin line, so shielding is definitely necessary for self care and health haha.

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Apparently he broke up with her on Friday to avoid V day, lol

Sad for her, I can understand why she'd probably think he's an asshole for a bit and be upset about it, but it'd be unfair for him to celebrate/maybe spend on V-Day with a woman he doesn't like anymore. So I can see her side, not b/c I think she deserved for him to spend on her or that he owes her anything, but just b/c it seems like an asshole move to do before a holiday about love (timing wise). But it's inevitable so eh. Way better to break up than do something truly asshole-ish.

granted this may because he was kinda smug about it

Yeah that seems kind of asshole-ish 😅as a friend I'd say that but also that judgment would pass in a day because he didn't do anything wrong.

Me I think is better to "rip the band-aid off" so to speak rather than appease with fake V day effort.

Pretty much.

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You mean the one you in the bar above which explains where you are?

There are lots of correct things which are offensive. But true.

Native Americans tend to be less employed/employable, and tend to be more criminals than white people. It is a inrefutable fact. (Believe me, I am one of them)

It is "Offensive", but also completely logical, reasonable and true. And simply put, I would rather prefer people understood a hardworker and clean person could come from all races and that these parasits do not deserve being protected than being "protected" from being called lazy and criminal even if I actually AM lazy and criminal.

It is normally the social expectations such as "offense" which are irrational and illogical, they consider emotion, not the truth or the rational response of the matter. The truth on the other hand, is the truth. It just is.

And yet you still call me illogical and emotional just because I’ve had a few episodes of a mental breakdown.

Because your actions were illogical and emotional. There is no way to avoid it. And I may be offensive, but... 'reason' and 'socially expected' diverge in that... and I followed reason.

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It's not like never happens, it's just way more rare than people dating closer to their age bracket.

It's definitely more rare nowadays b/c women in their 20s + above will "warn" each other and there's a bit more awareness within women in the 18-25 age group that there might be something wrong with a man if he's shooting so much below his age, with someone in a completely different place in life. Like, there really isn't much to bond over/talk about and so we are aware it's just due to obvious physical attraction, not other bs reasons, which is uncomfortable to face.

Plus, people have shown time and time again that age doesn't always mean maturity, so just because someone is a loooot older doesn't mean they are necessarily "better" or more mature (could be! or could not be, edit: I also feel like zoomers in general are pretty mature). Of course -- An exceptionally attractive older man can get away with it probably (but again, posting on social media = judgment, seen it plenty of times), and maybe a rich man (here, though women will encourage each other to "get the bread" and leave, lmao). 7-10 isn't a big age gap in the long run imo too. For a person in their 20s, maybe, kinda, but past that it doesn't seem so large.

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IMO: That would certainly help but further, it matters that you're attractive (b/c then you can at least fuck w/ promiscuous women) and have something going for you. To be quite honest, the only older men that younger women choose to stay with that I notice on social media display husband behavior, which differs from a lot of men our age. Meaning they do something for the women (provide $$$, financial advice, cook, clean, all of the above) which is exactly why they choose to be in relationships with them (because otherwise...why). Still, I remember this TikTok that got like 1M+ views from a few days ago of an 18 y/o w/ a fairly attractive rich 35 y/o who cooks for her (she described it as when a depressed 18 y/o meets a rich, immature 35 y/o which is... hmm) and some women wanted that, whilst more women were telling her to be careful b/c it seems like she's in a vulnerable position and could be getting groomed, other 18-20 year olds were expressing discomfort, other women who have been in similar places looked back and commented that it's usually b/c these men are losers, etc. etc.

When there isn't anything to gain in a relationship, women will generally find you creepy the older you are and go for a guy their own age b/c there's more potential there to grow together + the fact that Gen Z men are very attractive/fit, compatible with popular perspectives nowadays, similar hobbies with many women nowadays, and usually trendy/in with popular styles -- the perfect "Instagram boyfriend" if you will.

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I've seen a couple women here say something along the lines of "I didn't know I was a size queen until I met my current partner" or "Once I had big, average just doesn't feel as good anymore".

Another thing I have noticed is whenever women talk about what sizes they have experienced on reddit or sites like girlsaskguys, most women seem to have been with multiple men in the 6.5-7.5 inch range despite it supposedly being less common. Most women seem to consider that a very average/common size for guys to be. So I think guys who are well endowed probably get around more and end up overrepresented in women's sexual histories either because women specifically seek them out/filter for it or that dick size correlates with other traits they look for in a casual partner such as (height, large frame, confidence, masculine facial structure).

Either way it seems to have a positive impact on smv. I just imagine if a rumor spread that a guy had a big dick it would have a more positive impact on his sex life than if he was outed for having an average or small one. Its also probably not a coincidence "Big Dick Energy" became the term caught on over average or small dick energy.

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I went to highschool with a guy who became an incel yes.

But he did not tell anyone about it or ranted, he just... was a literal incel. Did not get it done until some years ago.

He is a gentle giant (literally), a year younger than me.

He has gigantism (198cm) and I never seen him being angry or annoyed at anything, always polite, hard working, sensitive, and caring... everybody knows him for his patience and deep voice (works as a telephone marketing manager because of that).

Poor guy couldn't get it done with a woman, always too romantic and caring... and well... because of gigantism, his face was kind of distorted and he could never get too much muscle. Which certainly didn't help.

He just tried his best and continued to fail for his college and highschool years with women, we shared a lesbian friend so I always knew what was happening... me and his friends tried to help him, as we were sorry for him, but even them, the poor fella could never be more than a gentle giant. His first and only reciprocated love lasted a week, I guess.

Last time I've heard he lost his way and just uses prostitutes/drinks when he gets home, a sad gentle giant, I've heard that the death of his mother affected him a lot. Poor fella.

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Yep. A tangential friend of mine in hswas an incel. He had a neck condition where his disks fused or something and he was like 5 foot 5 with LITERALLY no neck. Also his face looked squished. Not sure if it was from the same condition.

Anyways, he had this horrible cycle of asking a girl out, getting rejected, then thinking that the girl didn't like him for his genetics, being depressed, then shot-gunning asking out 10 more girls, or annoying the first one even more. Oh yeah he was also Catholic so consciously not wanting sex before marriage but then he asked this girl i made out with if she wanted to fuck. Idk man dude was weird.

Yes he was unattractive but his actions made him completely undateable. No girl wants to be with the horribly desperate AND unattractive guy AND religious AND socially awkward.

He had a freshman gf when he was a senior. Idk if they had sex but it lasted like 3 weeks. Then after college started i stayed friends with him for about 2 years before he got wigged out that my other friends and I drank with him around so he stopped hanging with us. In that time he didn't have any gf either.

Not sure what he's up to he rarely posts on socials.

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Btw, off-topic but I remember you said you were reading the love language book. My dorm hall and I just took a love language quiz together for fun haha.

Do you know yourself better now?

Do you think it's possible your love languages might change in your future?

Presuming you successfully communicated the idea about love languages with your partner, how do you think would would you take him forgetting it?

Do you share my... umm concern that perhaps discussing it with your partner, while a responsible, adult, mature thing to do, it comes at the cost of romantic "magic", opening the relationship to doubts of the relationship becoming a little (but significant, important) bit "mechanical"? Do we really want her/him to know we know s/he knows? If s/he does know, how do we know it's not just a blister patch, "too easy for the partner"? "Here, I bought you flowers, because you like gifts." Did he even put in any effort?

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Do you know yourself better now?

Yes! Not too surprising though that physical touch, quality time, and acts of service came up on top. But I also really, really like giving and receiving praise, but maybe that is a human thing (need for validation; I only need it from my partner though, edit: and professors/my grades haha that type of validation is like cocaine-laced :O so good). What are your love languages?

Do you think it's possible your love languages might change in your future?

I think cohabitation would make acts of service and quality time a lot more important, living our separate lives in our home. But not too drastically I think.

Presuming you successfully communicated the idea about love languages with your partner, how do you think would would you take him forgetting it?

It happens. I would hope our receiving/giving love languages are sort of compatible though 😅I am a physical touch person to the point where my friends who normally are iffy about being touched make the exception for me (I didn't force them, dw 😭had to make that clear) because I always have to be at someone's side or hugging them or keeping my legs on their laps or something, and I also like being touched by other touchy people. So if someone doesn't like that, totally understandable but it might be a dealbreaker for me haha.

Do you share my... umm concern that perhaps discussing it with your partner, while a responsible, adult, mature thing to do, it comes at the cost of romantic "magic", opening the relationship to doubts of the relationship becoming a little (but significant, important) bit "mechanical"?

I don't really care, I want to be comfortable with talking about anything to him. It doesn't matter if the "magic" of partners reading each other's minds goes away because isn't it better that you know how to make each other happy now?

"Here, I bought you flowers, because you like gifts."

I would think that is so sweet though. Or if he picked up a rock or a small plant off the side of the road even thinking of me. A small souvenir from a place, anything, it doesn't matter, really, because it means your partner was thinking of you.

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The kind of weather we're having in Texas right now hasn't happened here in like 70 years. We don't have the infrastructure to deal with it because it's such a rare occurrence here. The parts of the state that do get bad winter weather (panhandle - Lubbock, Amarillo etc.) deal with it better.

One big problem right now is that the wind turbines are frozen and that's a huge part of our power grid. Also the fact that this storm covered the entire state which is very unusual; like I said, it's usually only the panhandle and maybe DFW that gets weather like this. So you've got everyone in the state running their heaters at once, and wind turbines not producing power. Add those things together and the system just can't sustain it.

I'm sorry you're without power though 😞 We've been lucky so far but other parts of our zip code have been out for nearly two days. A pipe in our building burst so we don't have water and not sure when we will again. But I'll take that over no electricity.

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:O Imagine. Actually, it's really fun to imagine, but unrealistic af 😔

For selfish desires: Definitely properties all over the world (they don't need to be lavish, I just want certain locations), and constant travel! That's really all I wanna do, well, that and get a dog or two. Also, splurge on weed... and a cook for a plant-based diet so I wouldn't need to worry much about my nutrition/picky eating habits. Save + invest a lot of it, too, but I need to learn more about that.

For less selfish (?) desires: Give back to my family/help them with health expenses and give them nice things, take my friends out to eat consistently and also maybe whisk them with me on some travels, donate to 1) homeless shelters (in my area specifically ig), 2) people in poverty in the motherland and surrounding countries, and 3) give back to my community (neighborhood, city, high school).

That was a good thought exercise, motivates me to go do my work now.

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It’s not about lying (I think women can somehow detect this anyways). It’s about shutting the fuck up. So don’t lie. Just don’t be honest or reveal stuff unnecessarily. Don’t say you aren’t looking for a relationship. Just don’t bring it up. Don’t say you care/love or don’t care about her. Don’t mention that you are seeing or dating other women. Don’t brag about your sex game or give details on your past conquests or lack thereof. Don’t tell her about your exes or past lovers. Don’t tell her when last you got laid. Don’t tell her what your type of woman is (if you do so make sure it’s vague. Maybe say you want someone kind and thoughtful. The shit women do). Don’t tell her how much you earn or how accomplished you are. Let her figure this one out for herself. Don’t talk about or discuss your family or friends to her even if they are high value or the information is of no importance. Don’t tell her how you feel about her. Don’t tell her your opinion on certain issues. Just shut the fuck up. Always try your best to give out as little information or to do as little talking as possible. More so on the first. This doesn’t mean be silent or a stoic bastard but before volunteering up information ask yourself why you feel the need to share. And yes I’m very friendly and have nice conversations with women where I tell the occasional joke and have her laughing. Just don’t be a blabber mouth or feel the need to overshare. Sometimes the key is just shutting the fuck up.

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[–]Workaholiconew2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It is hard to take PPD women seriously when they don't take ideas, debates and arguments seriously. I had to explain to 2 women, today that "sexual market value" in PPD is not the same as "market value" used to analyses wealth. And both REFUSED to read the fucking wiki.

An good argument needs to stand on its own, if a man says it, it cannot be debunked the moment it is said. Way too many women do not put an effort in the ideas they say, on their day to day, and it is seeping into their conversation here.... thinking that letting ideology and social demands saying women are always right, to get over their heads... leading to these ridiculous situations.

Yeah, I know, men and women communicate extremely differently, one tending to be concise, verbal, direct, objective, realistic and logical while the other comparatively being more wordy, ambiguous, non verbal, indirect, subjective, emotional and social than their counterparts. I try my best to speak "feminine" here. But there a limits to how much women can refuse to "speak like men", if your argument lack a reason or any basis on reality, you gone too far! If this continues too long, you are not too different than a toddlers speaking nonsense. It may tell you a theory which combine quantum physics and relativistic physics at some point, and you are so used to it saying nothing useful, you may miss it.

Women, if you want to be "listened, not heard", If you do not want to be the white noise or the eyecandy so many men consider you to be. Please. Put an effort to be communicative and deal with ideas seriously. For both of our sanitys.

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Talk past me? maybe. be heard? not really.

I mean... companies, governments, men and women all over the globe make this tokenism. Some erroneously think it is hypocrisy, but in actuality it is just normal behavior, none gives a crap about nonsense, they have better things to do, but they will follow the trends if there are benefits. Intelligent women included. We are adult human beings here. We have limited resources. We cannot pay attention to people who only speak nonsense.

Do you really want to be considered a child? if yes, that is fine, if not, put more effort in your ideas.

You have to being to wonder why everyone keeps agreeing with you, but doing the exact opposite at some point. You are becoming to them a whitenoise they need to agree, to get something from you... Start taking ideas seriously and maybe your ideas will be considered.

[–]iloveyoubuttwo5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Workaholiconew0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Heh, maybe... But you misunderstand that I care what they think. If all they want is laugh and go on, be my guest.

I am here to have my ideas tested. If my ideas have some weakness. I am sure a man will try to break it using arguments, and I will be able to make it better or scrap it for a better set of ideas... pink, black, red, and blue pill can and do that, women usually don't.

I miss the good female debaters, like caly, wic, semi who would actually try to have an argument. Their careers is better in part BECAUSE They are more than a pair of tits who spill whitenoise.... maybe you should think about adopting this strategy.

I may be patient and answer to your shenanigans. But others may just cut you entirely for any decision making... because of all they hear is things which make no sense.

I mean, you did not adress any of my points, since it began... didn't you (read your past messages)? If you do it with your boss or colleage, they will think you are unable to be mindful of the useful ideas and consider you unfit to responsibilities above menial ones.

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[–]Workaholiconew1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Evading the arguments again huh?

You have so far had so many opportunities to prove me wrong... and I've given you a lot of opportunities to do so. but you did not use them. So what am I supposed to think? There are so many arguments to be had... do I need to give you one so you have one to talk about?

I mean, I am famous in PPD for my long-winded answers, semi-feminine answers, cated to the women's preferred written patterns. I can't do better than that.

Why would I waste time trying to come up with a real argument when the cards are already stacked against me?

The same reason I am here talking to you and others. It does not matter if everyone is against you. In a debate, the winner is the one with the arguments still standing at the end. No matter how much people scream at you that the earth is flat. The earth is a spheroid. And all you need to do is prove it.

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At a certain point can fake it til you make it permanently change your personality?

Maybe so. I want to take it again because I wonder if the pandemic/time away from human interaction changed anything.

Personally my type changed from when I first took those tests when I was probably 14-15, to when I took it for a random workplace bonding activity at 17. I got ENFP then, and then I have taken it consistently since then and remained an ENFP no matter how many variations of the test I've taken (including trying to understand the "science" behind it by taking a very basic functions test and calculating it myself, I got a few top types then). But it's interesting because I do not consider myself very extroverted, though I like being around people and it makes me happy. But of course, this is overall our perception of ourselves. We just trust that we are being honest.

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Yeah I'm an unwilling extrovert-adapted INFP too.

I think about this a lot. I like that MBTI gives you a framework to understand yourself but I think identity is more fluid than a firm assignment of type would lead you to believe.

My personality has definitely changed over time because I've been forced to adapt. Like, if you move somewhere new where no one knows you, as I have, then you kind of have free reign to sculpt your personality from scratch, as circumstances dictate. I guess there's fundamental aspects of you that will never change, but at a certain point your choice to behave a certain way with others and then having it be reinforced by your new social connections must have some effect on your baseline character.

I think certain types are probably less susceptible to this tho, like INTJ and ENFJ in particular.

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I would agree with you where I would need to agree. (we indeed have a impulse to anger and sex. but we try our best to control it, and it is somewhat fine. Considering how much worse it should be in case we did not control outselves).

I would disagree with your where I disagree. (and men, Usually prefer to talk about ideas, objects and tasks. Making them somewhat more logical, than the more social and emotional women in subject on average, yeah you can make a man angry... but so does anyone. But chances are, men will tend to be more logical and remain that way for longer.)

You are too focused on the person. Not the content. that is what I told before, and you prove time and time again correct.

And you know we men actually change the way we speak to women right? do you think I write this many paragraphs because I like to? No, it is because it is my best bet at communicating at the middel of the road with you.

[–]iloveyoubuttwo1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Workaholiconew1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Testosterone, mentally, significantly increases libido and angressiveness and men have on average 17-23 times its values.Yet, violence from men, is only 6 times bigger. And only 0.5% of the population of men in the US will actually commit any violent act in their lives. Showing that not only men are able to control thesmselves. but they are doing so on the norm.
Men tend to be more "things oriented" while women tend to be more "people oriented. What I call "interest in objects, ideas and tasks" and "interests in social, psychological and emotional aspects" are an "overview of each respectively (although men are more variable than women). Making men thus, tending to be more interested in logic, objectivism and realism, and less biased by social or psychological aspects of us.
I do not think I need to prove every single gender has emotions and can be affected by them.

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[–]TheJim662 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I would make this a thread but it would be flaired CMV and don't have the time to deal with that.

Why do you all take red pill concepts and strawman them to the point they are unrecognizable?

THE WALL DOESN'T MEAN THAT WOMEN STOP BEING FUCKABLE AFTER THIRTY. It also doesn't mean they won't be able to get relationships. What it means is that they start having trouble getting relationships and commitment from the men they want and that they are less desirable compared to their pre-wall selves. The man she wants will choose a 25 yo that is just as hot or hotter than she is. Her age is a demerit. Plenty of men will still want a relationship with her and chase her, they will just not be as attractive to her.

The wall is important because it is connected to the epiphany phase. It pushes women to realize that they will have to get married soon and causes them to completely change their standards for mate selection and instead of choosing for attraction, they start choosing for utility and stability.

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However, it also undermines the fundamental reason for the existence of Bitcoin and makes it especially vulnerable to the upcoming competition from DLT Central Bank currency.

How so? From my understanding the pure intent of Bitcoin is to create a truly finite and decentralized currency. At the moment there is nothing else, not even precious metals, that are truly finite. Gold will be worthless if someone ever figures out how to mine asteroids.

Also, the Bitcoin Core developers are either idiots or operating in bad faith.

There are (a few) better, more interesting cryptos with better upside.

What do you mean by these statements? I guess I'm not really in the know as far as technical differences between cryptos but from my surface understanding most of them function similarly, bitcoin is just being accepted as the "popular" one.

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

How so? From my understanding the pure intent of Bitcoin is to create a truly finite and decentralized currency. At the moment there is nothing else, not even precious metals, that are truly finite. Gold will be worthless if someone ever figures out how to mine asteroids.

Regulation undermines the benefit of decentralization.

Like with all goods the value of an intermediate good is not a function of its relative limitation, but rather it’s marginal cost of production. People often confuse the two. For example, the utility of gold would not be threatened by development of technology to mine asteroids (expansion of the supply) so much as it would by the extent to which the ability to mine asteroids lowers the cost of producing a marginal unit of gold.

Actually, having a finite amount of an intermediate good is an impediment to the utility of that good as money because it heavily disincentivizes lending. Satoshi was smart enough to know that but made the trade off in Bitcoin design to incentivize adoption.

What do you mean by these statements? I guess I'm not really in the know as far as technical differences between cryptos but from my surface understanding most of them function similarly, bitcoin is just being accepted as the "popular" one.

I started exploring the crypto landscape almost 10 years ago when the community was much smaller and undertook a study of the underlying DLT and the various ledgers. Most are shite, some are good, a few are very good. Bitcoin was good, but has been surpassed from a technical perspective.

When the community was smaller, there was healthy debate with the Bitcoin Core developers, and then somewhere in 2013 - 2016 time frame the Core developers enacted intense censorship of that debate on the regular Bitcoin forums (including the Reddit sub). And in concert with the emergence and rise of Blockstream, the Core development effort veered off into what I could only conclude was either extreme ignorance of how monetary systems work or bad faith. I reached that conclusion after repeated attempts at good faith debate with some of the Core devs and Blockstream execs.

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I divide the crypto space into cryptos which are intended to be used as money and those which intend to use DLT for other purposes in which the distribution of a database is more efficient than having a centrally controlled but replicated database (noting that the killer app for DLT is money).

I initially thought that the best monetary cryptos were Bitcoin, Dash, and Monero and the best DLT platform was Ethereum.

At this point I believe that monetary cryptos that offer some pseudonymity but offer virtually no anonymity (the vast majority of them) are dead ends. They will likely continue to experience both volatility and upward price apprecaitein in the near (and possibly intermediate) term, but the long term outlook for them is grim IMO. This category includes Bitcoin.

Thus, from a monetary standpoint, I believe that only the privacy focused ledgers which can offer some degree of transactional anonymity and protection from centralized control have a significant future, the foremost of which are Monero and (to a lesser extent) Z-Cash. Bitcoin might have gone this direction, but the Core developers focused on making it something different than a real money and in doing so exposed it to centralization (and thus regulatory capture and control), perhaps out of pure ignorance (and they did ignore the warnings) or perhaps in bad faith. Either way, the deed is done.

I still think Etherum is probably the best DLT bet, but might throw Cardano in there as well. There might be others, but I am skeptical on the non-monetary DLT use space for investment because it’s super easy to build your own DLT for any specific application, and most applications don’t really benefit from having a distributed database.

The exchanges are the easiest way to purchase them, but also the least safe.

The safest/best way to purchase crypto is in individual P2P transactions using your own wallets (one offline, one online) and broadcast via your own node hosted on your own hardware connected to Tor.

The thing about crypto is that you have to take personal responsibility for your own security if you wish to actually enjoy the benefits it offers. If you’re not interested in those benefits, you might as well use central bank money, it’s not going away.

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My take on modern feminism is that it is very focused on consent in a way that is different from when I was younger. It's not like we were pro-rape or anything but I can help but feel like the kids are taking the spontaneous fun out of sex. But overall it's probably better for men and women to have clearer communications when it comes to that stuff.

I am however weary of call out culture. I'm a traditionalist in that I support the legal system, rather than trial by Twitter. The MeToo movement started out positive but I am not always fully on board with every new direction.

I think we agree then. The problem with debating the merits of "feminism" is that it's a decentralized movement, whose interpretation is clouded by its relatively recent history, and so everyone has a different conception of what it actually is.

This is pretty much all I was arguing in my original comment. Feminism currently has a lot of cultural caché due to its relatively recent historical accomplishments, but its most recent iteration seems to be more about scoring cultural points based on this track record, adopted as a means of signaling "coolness" like a fashionable adornment. It's been wholly absorbed by the consumerist capitalism it ostensibly opposes on legitimate ideological grounds.

I think most reasonable people can see the downside here, because social progress should be serious business, not a fashion choice, as the majority of women worldwide are far more oppressed than their western counterparts, who seem more interested in ascending the late stage capitalism hierarchy than fighting for women's global liberation.

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In this reply it sounds like you're equating not being a Republican with being feminist:

I'm still trying to figure this out since a lot of women seem to be anti-republican, anti-pro-life, etc, and basically say that they want some democratic feminist dude and I can't say that I've seen any of these men existing outside of a college campus and outside of trying to say whatever gets them the best results with women.

Are you against women wanting a man with a Democrat-leaning ideology or a "feminist" one? Also, what is a "feminist" ideology to you?

I don't know many men or women who identify as "feminist," but I know plenty who identify as anti-Rush Limbaugh-style-conservatism.

If wanting a man who isn't a Rush Limbaugh-lover means zero options for some women, then I'm sure those women are okay with that.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Are you against women wanting a man with a Democrat-leaning ideology or a "feminist" one?

These two aren't usually split up. Democrats are often also feminists, but to answer your question, it really depends on what they define "feminism" as.

Also, what is a "feminist" ideology to you?

There are two different definitions that I can see. One of them is "feminism" as in "anti-patriarchical roots feminism" which is "equal rights, opportunities and freedom for women," and the other is the false definition that most young college-aged people are promoting which is basically egalitarianism or humanitarianism and pasting over the word with "feminism."

I don't know many men or women who identify as "feminist,"

I haven't seen the stats but I think most women are overwhelmingly "feminist," identify as "feminist," or claim to have "feminist" views. I don't know very many at all who aren't.

identify as anti-Rush Limbaugh-style-conservatism.

Not familiar with that, but it's somewhat common to the point of mentioning that women express distaste for Republicans in general on their social media/OLD bios, which is because, I'm guessing, they're Democrats. I'm aware that you can be "anti-______-style-conservative" and still be a conservative, but that's not what these women's bios read. It's strictly "No Republicans" or "Fuck the Right/GOP" or the obvious "Liberal/Proud Feminist."

[–]GridReXX2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Not familiar with that, but it's somewhat common to the point of mentioning that women express distaste for Republicans in general on their social media/OLD bios, which is because, I'm guessing, they're Democrats.

I've seen that most when the Republican in question leans "Rush Limbaugh-esque."

Idk. I'm black, a woman, and am dating a woman. I've encountered people who straight-up use "nigger," are very "women should be in the kitchen," despise the poor, and who hate "the gays" ...and 8/10 those folks are strong Republicans.

I don't see myself aligning myself with a party where I have to feel that uncomfortable.

So I guess, just as you've noticed some correlations and consistent patterns. So have other people. And that's probably why they don't align with many Republicans.

But I align with the ones who don't prove to be bigots or are at the very least not anti everything I actually am.

[–]SmurfESmurferson2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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The purpose of an organization is to exists - an organization that is formed around a single objective, when it reaches said objective, is never going to say "hey guys we did it hooray now let's all go home." Ofc feminism isn't an organization but it's probably never going to stop, just evolve.

Organizations exist for a purpose. They don't have a purpose to exist themselves. I think that organizations that achieve their goal no longer have a purpose and should disappear, but what feminism seems to be doing is sticking around to police the "equality" that they won and make sure that everything is "equal" for the people that they want it to be equal for - namely women. There's nothing wrong with equal opportunity, but when you start trying to enforce equal outcomes, that's when things become a problem because you have to hold others back just to move certain ones forward, and that isn't "fair" to anyone, but "feminism" seems to deem it as fair, of course. Definitely not a good thing and not just a thing.

I don't claim to know these things but I will stake my flag in the issues that matter to me - reproductive health and policies to support young working families. The former because it's something I believe in strongly, the later because mama needs a break over here.

Right, these things are relevant to you because they are of benefit to you. That's kind of the point here. It's not really about "equality" anymore, but about personal benefit under the guise of equality, because equal opportunity has already been accomplished.

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[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

They just find new avenues to justify their existence. Is that the case with feminism today? Maybe. Maybe not. Idk. It's late I'm tired.

It definitely is.

Abortion tho is something I care about that does not really apply to me - I would not get an abortion unless it was truly a horrific situation since I'm married. I just do that one out of the principle.

You're not totally unbiased just because you wouldn't get one though, because you are still someone who could benefit from it if you really needed it. What I've noticed about people who support anything is that they do so because they either could benefit from it, or would want to benefit from it if they were in the same position. It's seldom ever "for the others" or "out of the principle."

Also dude, the alien stuff, no.

-cue X-Files intro theme music-

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Well conservative women do exist in the UMC but generally speaking the UMC are overwhelmingly liberal and actually the woke form. They also need to signal virtue and education.

I think that's all a sham, tbh. They probably don't believe in the shit that comes out of their own mouths that they basically have to say in front of others because it's PC. I believe that they're all for their own personal interest and their actions reflect conservatism or Republicanism than they do Democracy or whatever they claim to be.

It's not like democrats or republicans actually make the system fair for the lower classes. Both parties make the rich richer, a small tax increase means nothing.

Exactly, but if you keep going up, you eventually reach a point where political views don't even matter. Most wealthy people's actions reflect a right-leaning ideology, even if they themselves don't align or identify with the right.

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Is anyone here convinced that....... "they" know?

When I say "they," I mean the people at the top who are privy to certain information. I think they've figured out most of human nature by now. They know what the sexes like and dislike. They know what makes both tick. They just don't want to reveal that information because it would throw a lot of things out of whack. Something something knowledge is power. The social sciences research industry plays a hand in this as a front to the public to convince everyone that we're still looking for answers and haven't figured it out yet. Meanwhile, everyone is being controlled in some way but is largely unaware of it and thinking that they're doing what they do because they choose to.

So, to answer my own question, yes, I think that "they" know. I also think that this entire war between the sexes is being completely engineered.

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I'm only guessing because there are numerous theories floating around, but some point to aliens of course, some point to a specific group of people who have goals beyond the vast majority of people's understanding - almost in preparation for some major event that will happen in the future, some point to a few very smart people who were just able to be successful and see what others couldn't/are unable to see since intelligent people see the world/reality in a different way than most other people do, and some just point to the top leaders in politics trying to manage the country/world in a unified effort. Some of these theories can be intertwined.

I'm not smart enough or privileged enough to know for certain, but I probably wouldn't even be here on Reddit if I did. I'm just personally convinced that things aren't as they appear to be in the world as everyone else sees them.

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If dating really is such a Hadean experience for most men then I am forced to conclude that, if one can handle it, then substitutive options are nothing but wholly valid (what I mean by this is things like fictional waifus, maybe escorts, anything fantastical)

That is *if and only if this would truly be better for most men than trying to chase or "monkey dance" for women. And of course, it is the primary position of MGTOW's which, I believe that with the assistance of any substitute appropriate for the individual can indeed be enacted.

Unless we know that experiences vary? Perhaps these are merely options for an unattractive man. But what makes a man attractive really, we only have such a terribly vague idea. Those who aggressively posit the 80/20 rule still have no clue what truly constitutes a "20% man." TRP says it's some looks but mostly status and alpha traits, whilst black says it's moreso looks. And even under looks they still have no idea because it varies too much

[–]Workaholiconew2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It begs the question,

If was there a proof that even these top 20% men would prefer these fictional waifus, maybe escorts, anything fantastical, etc... if they were... you know... accessible... What would it mean about women?

As fictional characters are that, fictional, and escorts, at least in the US are against the law (which I find ridiculous).

Cause you know? There are entire third world cities to satisfy men from the US of their desire, be it for casual sex, prostitution, girlfriends and even wives, as the women there would way more than eager to satisfy these men for the lives of americans. And their clients are not some looser who work at McDonald's, it is doubtful they could even affort the trip. But men of wealth, looks and prestige.

Would that be proof enough?

Unless we know that experiences vary? Perhaps these are merely options for an unattractive man. But what makes a man attractive really, we only have such a terribly vague idea. Those who aggressively posit the 80/20 rule still have no clue what truly constitutes a "20% man." TRP says it's some looks but mostly status and alpha traits, whilst black says it's moreso looks. And even under looks they still have no idea because it varies too much

TRP can only know for certain is that women have a preference which tends to be extremely restrict and skewed for "the best". Leading to only 20% of men being rewarded sexually (Considering okcupid research).

There is no way to decipher what a group that big like women would prefer, so they just focus on what seem to be the most common denominator in these sexually rewarded men. Namely, Status, power, appearance, wealth and masculine behavior... and hope for the best (which if you can believe in their words, work). Sure there are preferences, but what TRP men want is the most common denominator. And for that, this is the approach to give.

These "terribly vague ideas" are the only objective thing men can get, as clearly women's descritions account to missses.

There are other traits, researched by the scientific community like the dark triad but you have to understand, those are the exception, not the rule. As you said before, it is a enormous and heterogenous group. And TRP men are just trying to appeal to the most common denominator.

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They're totally cringe. However feminists hate men. Conservatives foster a culture of hatred and violence toward blacks, women, LGBTQ, hell they're at war with anyone who's not a rich hetero CIS WASP male. They have militias out there storming Congress and bringing white supremacism into the military. On the other hand I don't have to worry about feminists shooting up my church or running me over at a protest.

Up until Donald Trump we men's rights activists were getting that feminist shit under control: shooting down paternity fraud in one state after another, fathers rights attorneys whupping them in family courts, and kicking colleges in the teeth with ruinous lawsuits over Title IX. Women against feminism was a rising thing and Doris Lessing (quick, no looking her up, who was she?) herself was denouncing radical feminism. Even feminists were noting the problem with false rape accusations. All this momentum went right to shit when MAGA came along and then out the sewer when MRAs hitched their horse to that Orange Pennywise.

So looking at this mathematically I'm literally safer in a crowd of angry male feminist nutjobs than anywhere near a bunch of MAGA Trumpanzees.

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probably more askpolitics question,

Community chat thread!

But my take is that VP has no choice, his role is specified very clearly in the constitution (or US code) and violation of it is violation of a US Federal Law.

I'm not entirely sure what the punishment for it would be, but its almost certain that if Pence refused, the responsibility would fall to president pro tempore of the senate.

Now, if he also refused, we'd likely have a constitutional crisis. We'd basically have a situation where one political party refused to follow the supreme law of the land. No law = no country.

Yeah this is the part I'm interested in fast forwarding to for sure....Pence said "I will not certify".

Who does what next? Does someone file a supreme Court lawsuit requiring pence to certify and that's how it gets resolved?

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If you see that a neighborhood is predominantly black in the US, you would be correct in presuming that it is also much more likely to have higher rates of crime and other cultural pathologies that do not lend themsleves to creating good environments in which to raise children - same as you would assume of a trailer park.

It’s called an heuristic. Humans use them because we are not capable of being omniscient and have to use probabilistic estimations in our decision-making. And we are smart to use them in discernment.

The problem comes when we assume that superiority or inferiority is conferred in difference, become antagonistic (or condescending/patronizing) on this basis, and thus become incapable suspending the heuristic in situations where such an heuristic is not called for in decision-making. That’s racism, sexism, hair-colorism, et cetera.

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Lots of people get weirdly stuck on traditions. I know a lot of guys though that hate the idea of a two way proposal - they want that kind of surprise element and they want to be the one asking. That said, I absolutely do think both parties should get a gift! I know some people who have done that and some guys who have engagement rings. I wonder if some people view it in the same way as a first date though - the person asking does the paying? Not fair in any case.

I got my first husband an engagement gift of similar value to my ring. With my current partner he was really against the idea so I offered to split the cost of the ring, which he refused. He doesn't wear jewellery or watches so would be a bit pointless getting that. However we've finally come up with a compromise - he really wants to buy his wedding kilt and keep it, but his clan tartan needs specially made so the outfit was going to be more than he wanted to spend. So I'm getting him that; it's similar value to my ring, and it's something he'll be able to keep and wear over and over. I think it's a nice balance :)

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These are good questions - short answer of course, is tradition.

Long answer comes from history. Engagement rings as we have them today are vestiges from a time when they were given as more or less collateral to ensure that a man would not back out of an engagement, and thus severely damaging the woman's reputation. This is, of course, very sexist. And then DeBeers, the evil geniuses that they are, came up with the brilliant marketing campaign that all men would have to spend an obscene amount of money (6 weeks salary) on their otherwise inherently worthless diamonds, and people bought it.

Today, while engagement rings are given to women by men, they are not really seen as the woman's property until after marriage - current legal precedent is the reverse of where it came from, and it's the man who gets to walk away with the diamond should the engagement fall apart. Many couples split the cost of engagement rings, and some might (erroneously) view them as a joint investment (although I think that is much less common now than it used to be). My engagement ring holds a family diamond that goes back 2 generations of my husbands side - and we will pass it on to our child some day. Though I think you're right in that it would be more fair to give the future husband a gift too, maybe a nice watch? I wish I had thought of that.

As for proposals being all about the woman, this also stems from a sexist line of thinking that being chosen by a man is the most important, exciting thing that will ever happen in a woman's life, so make it a big deal for her because after the wedding it's all downhill. The reason it's still like this today is simply that it's a tradition - like an atheist celebrating Christmas, even if you don't believe in it, the tradition can still be fun. Men generally propose because they want the pretty lady who has sex with them to be happy, and the proposal is part of that too. But there's no reason why women can't rerun the favor and do something romantic and special for the guy in return! Agree that proposals ought to be more of a 2-way street in today's world.

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The truth is that men can't feel love, they are completely devoid of this positive emotion.The only thing they can feel is lust and a need to overpower someone else, they are born sadistic and narcissistic. Uncaring and uncompassionate. They can't relate to other people at at all.Women don't understand power, the fact that everything men do is seen through this lens. Men are never in search for the objective truth, they are incapable of so much self reflection, they are in search for power and especially power over women.Their need to feel powerful.They would never admit their shortcomings. Even though i am pretty sure that most of them are so thickheaded that they don't even realize they have any shortcomings at all. They may fake virtute on the surface, but they are never virtuous at all. But when it comes to seeing the faults in someone else they are the first to attack and project.

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bluepilled PPD women here constantly strawman TRP points on the topic of age gaps between couples.

I don't get why they do it. Is it some kind of c*peing strategy? Or is it just a simple projection? Women like to date, so they just project men like to date too? I get second hand embarrassment reading these comments sometimes. You live in peak sexual revolution days now. Do women conveniently forget this fact when it suits them?

TRP, first and foremost is primarily concerned with SEX first! not relationships the way bloops define it, or marriage (Marriedtrp exists but its ONLY for men who are ALREADY married and wish to remain so due to already existing family obligations.)

No shit majority of young women aren't into "dating" older men unless there's big fucking advantage (such as, you know being rich as shit or if he is an older chad or have good social status, etc).

But for sex? Its still not majority, but definitely not minority either.

Do you realize reverse 80:20 rule exists too? For every 80% of young women who don't like to date or prefer older men, there's 20% young women who are open to various possibilities.

I am 30 now, slightly above average height, not ugly, or obese and don't have any issues attracting 19-24 year olds for now but.... ladies, do you REALLY believe I won't find ONE or THREE young women in a year for casual sex when I become 40+ years old? Be real.

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Just try wearing a ring and announcing you're married and be 40+. I don't know why, but I was basically serial monogamy with occasional ONS/weekend fling in my 20s and 30s. NOW, Jesus.... Different world of easy. And this is after moving back to the USA from Asia.

Yes, I am 6'1" tall, have a very nice voice, and am thin, attractive, educated, and middle class (somewhat "weak" jawline, though). But the EASE now vs my 20s, when I also had all that, is amazing.

Of course, I also have changed. I couldn't probably put women on a pedestal if I wanted to. They're just men with weak arms, longer legs, and less body hair. In a lot of ways they're socialized not to have much agency.

It helps that I am behaviorally bisexual since my 20s and compare them to the pool of men also -- but again, I always had that going for me and I still only recently grokked how little in the way of agency most people have (and the group of women is just a tad worse, IMO).

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It is like complaining people are on welfare instead of working the problem isn't that welfare pays too much it is that the jobs don't pay enough for it to be worth peoples effort. If the job pays so little that you still can't afford housing and basic necessities why not stick with the welfare because at least then you are not having to work 40 hours a week. Meanwhile some asshole was born with a trust fund who has never had to work a day in his life is calling you entitled for refusing. This same logic applies to improving for dating if the results were worth the effort people would be a lot more willing. If you want people to work their way up it has to have plenty of rungs for them to climb not only 3 rungs evenly spaced where they have to jump between them. Are some people lazy expecting an escalator? Sure, but that isn't everyone.

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This was an interesting article, “Couples With Girls At Higher Risk For Divorce”

Over a decade ago, economists Gordon Dahl and Enrico Moretti published some earth-shattering statistics in the New York Times. According to Dahl and Moretti, parents with daughters are nearly 10 percent more likely to divorce than the parents with only sons. Additionally, researchers discovered that unmarried couples who end up pregnant with a son are more likely to hold a shotgun wedding, and couples with sons are more likely to stick together even if their marriage isn't going so well.

Although there's a lot of speculation about why this is the case, psychologist Anita E. Kelly, Ph.D. says that there is another interesting statistic about divorce and parenting that may help explain why couples with daughters divorce at higher rates. According to Dr. Kelly, as much as 73 percent of recent divorces involve wives leaving their husbands.

Given this information and what we know about the differences between sons and daughters in terms of offering support to mothers, it could actually be that daughters provide mothers with the support and determination they need to walk away from stressful or abusive marriages.

I saw this article from a Twitter thread and the women were resonating with the bolded.

I can even admit that when I was 11ish I told my mom I wouldn’t mind if they got a divorce. My mom was miserable. My dad was chill. And I could see how things my dad did led to my mom being anything but “chill,” so the solution to me was “separate but equal” 😂

Granted my parents didn’t divorce because my mom values commitment/church teachings, but it was a precipitous time lol.

I can definitely see how young daughters more than sons are keen to the interpersonal disconnects of their parents.

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Or women are hesitant to leave when they have sons because they don’t want their sons to be raised without fathers.

I’d also like to know whether it’s more commmon in couples where they only had daughters and no sons. It’s no secret than men really want sons and when they don’t get them, do some men find themselves less invested in the family?

Or when couples have daughters first, do they keep trying for a son, which basically means the daughters aren’t wanted as much? Or having “extra” kids to get a son putting a strain on the family unit? I have a good friend who has 5 daughters because he wanted a son and they just kept trying.

There are a million reasons their conculsion could be true and I can respect the researchers need to produce soudbytes to get their research in the news but it’s just speculation.

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That doesn't explain why couples who are pregnant with a son are more likely to get married than daughters. I don't think the relationship with the children actually have anything to do with it, I believe it is still the parents. I would bet if we looked at couples who split before the kids had an actual "personality", it would still follow the same pattern.

There are things like billionaires being more likely to have sons, or "bad weather makes for more baby girls, as does fasting for Ramadan or suffering from morning sickness". Or older fathers are more likely to have daughters. To me, it sounds like unhealthier factors lead to more daughters because girls are the default sex and it takes a number of complicated factors to change the girl to a boy. I think it is far more likely that healthier or successful parents are more likely to have sons, and those same factors would also contribute to whether they can hold a marriage together.

Anecdotally, the most successful parents in my family mostly had sons while the least successful ones typically had daughters. So that is something I have been thinking for a while.

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Where are women supposed to find good men that won't cross their boundaries?

More and more in the past, it seems. Or in your peer group while you're in your 20s in college. Thing is, even there male population seems to be dwindling.

Not joking or trying to discourage, either. We've been telling you ladies it'd come to this for years now. 5+ years. And got "who hurt you" in reply. Just saying. What did you expect? (not you personally necessarily)

Thing is, because of the extremes (single moms underperforming in terms of raising boys, MSM bashing, chicks delaying, 1 word answers, online history, blaming and shaming), the "normal ones" are now asking where we are and are suffering the consequences along with the perpetrators.

Where are all the good men? We're away, or worse, close by but not interested, asking or even replying.

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My first point stems from the thoughts I had living in places where the sense of place/belonging/being was either rapidly changing or had vanished. This is relatable to many people who have lived in a growing city or a dying town. Some is the same, but the meaning that the place once had is lost to those who knew it. There was no 'there' there.

People's minds are greatly influenced by their environment. Some people hold onto memories with a death grip and let the past define them, while others heave them away carelessly. Same goes for knowledge and general perspective. You can be firmly planted in a matrix dream world, attempt to live completely free of one, or somewhere in between. People also abandon parts of one or the other as they see fit. People can cling on to their place on this spectrum, or become a traveler along it throughout life, much like a place gets stuck in time or goes through a bunch of incarnations.

I've found it difficult to determine these sorts of things in anyone except my oldest, deepest, friends. If you've read this far you've probably drawn the conclusion that thinking about this stuff all the time makes dating really weird.

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Is anyone here into conspiracy stuff? There seems to be a lot of people who think that the government hasn't been interested in population control for the last 100 years, or maybe longer. They think that those in charge have their best interests at heart (or at least the people that they voted for did) and theres no covert plans in order. The chemicals in our food, water, cosmetics, packaging, and cooking supplies, are all safe because they are within normal health and safety guidelines. Etcetera, etcetera.

I'm gonna try to explain a concept very simply so that people can understand. A country itself functions much like a machine. In this case, it's similar to the people who its comprised of. The people are a smallest part that makes up the larger parts that eventually makes up the whole. If those people do what they're supposed to do to, the country functions like a well-oiled machine. However, we like our freedom, and we pride ourselves on it. Its probably one of the greatest things about our country, but too much freedom in a machine is not good, for obvious reasons. Translating that to the body, too much freedom of the working parts of the body is also not good, and theres a word for parts of the body that try to do what they want instead of what they're supposed to do or should be doing. They're called "cancer."

Long story short, I think the US is suffering a slow, systemic shutdown from cancer. I'm also going to assume that people don't really know anything about psy-ops and covert warfare between countries so I'll just pose the question: what if the US is under covert warfare via propaganda from another country or countries in an attempt to weaken and eventually overthrow it via infecting it's people with lies, misinformation and "divide and conquer" tactics?

I know it sounds crazy to the average person but is it really so outlandish to consider that people just write it off as not possible?

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

Oh, and yes, I'll say it. Feminism is cancer.

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This is obvious to anyone with half a brain.

They had guns and they meant to overthrow the capital yet they didn't fire a single shot?

That makes zero sense. They obviously did not want to overthrow the government if they didn't use the guns they had. Some will say they got scared when that one chick got shot but it's like, so they planned to overthrow the government unless they experienced resistance?

They would have had to know they they would be met with forceful resistance unless they are so moronic they thought the government was just going to hand itself over.

None of it makes any sense other than saying it was just a riot like any other. No goal in mind except chaos.

The use of the word insurrection immediately by every left leaning journalist is an appeal to emotions and should have tipped people off that this was just dems trying to spin shit.

Oh and fuck that lying bitch aoc.

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Wasn't this basically the Democratic party thesis post-Trump? That Russia successfully infiltrated the integrity of US elections and destabilized our democracy with propaganda and distrust of institutions.

While it's proven that the Russians did instigate a cyberwarfare campaign on the US, sowing disinformation and propaganda over social media and last year managed to successfully hack the OPM, compromising data from nearly every major three letter agency and numerous corporations, I think the extent that they are responsible for the decay of our political culture is dubious.

I think the threat more likely comes from within, with social media and big tech corporations effectively monetizing the outrage and willful ignorance of our citizens, and influencing our politicians with donations and regulatory capture, destroying trust in our institutions and in each other. Half of Americans think the greatest threat to them is their fellow Americans. It's hard to see this as anything other than internet outrage-porn culture poisoning our minds, all in the name of profiting off our clicks and addiction to outrage.

edit: American deindustrialization is also a huge culprit, and likely the original cause, destroying the base of American union workers, paving the way for the white-collar takeover of mainstream culture, leveling the middle class and causing the stagnation in wage growth, and creating the void for China to rise economically into burgeoning superpower status, setting the stage for Trump to capitalize on economic anxiety and xenophobia towards immigrants outcompeting the lower-classes for low-skill and low wage work.

[–]geyges3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NeuroplasticSurgery2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There's always economic anxiety and xenophobia in America and every other country. These are not new things.

Xenophobia and racism are timeless for sure, but I think the dominance of economic anxiety is relatively recent in America.

Generations have short memories, the great depression is distant and abstract, and the US from 1945 until the 90s was an unparalleled economic juggernaut in history. The boomers grew up in the only society in history that dominated as the sole global superpower, and our current economic anxiety comes from subsequent generations realizing that those days are not coming back, and we are doomed to a lower standard of living than our grandparents.

I honestly think the importance of the Iraq War is overstated in our current cultural consciousness. Vietnam was far more destructive to our trust in institutions, Iraq was really just a lesser recurrence of that pattern. Without the draft, it was never going to directly influence most Americans' lives.

After all we just elected a President who is on the record voting for that conflict. Either we haven't learned, or it really didn't matter that much.

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Wasn't this basically the Democratic party thesis post-Trump? That Russia successfully infiltrated the integrity of US elections and destabilized our democracy with propaganda and distrust of institutions.

I think so?... As far as I was aware, the DNC was accusing Trump of something that their own party actually had ties to, though at this point, I don't think it's possible to believe anything that comes from up top anymore, and definitely not the media. It's not just Russia, but China, Israel, and apparently England as well. Better suit up in your armor for another good ol' fashioned Monty Python adventure.

While it's proven that the Russians did instigate a cyberwarfare campaign on the US, sowing disinformation and propaganda over social media and last year managed to successfully hack the OPM, compromising data from nearly every major three letter agency and numerous corporations, I think the extent that they are responsible for the decay of our political culture is dubious.

If you're only considering a few years to two decades back, sure, but this has been going on for awhile, apparently. A long-standing covert war has been in effect since the last world war ended, and probably even before that.

I think the threat more likely comes from within, with social media and big tech corporations effectively monetizing the outrage and willful ignorance of our citizens, and influencing our politicians with donations and regulatory capture, destroying trust in our institutions and in each other.

Considering who owns most of the media and controls what is put out in it, I think we can assume that the threat "coming from within" is a pretty narrow take. If foreign nations have been in on this, it's not just the figureheads on our home turf that we have to worry about. If you kill one roach/rat in your house, you'll likely another one because these bastards have a nest.

[–]NeuroplasticSurgery1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]TheBookOfSeil1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

But I think that these foreign entities would not be successful without corporate America (the real center of American power in the 21st century) basically acting complicity and selling the American people down the river to make a dollar.

That only makes them part of the scheme. If another country can buy a person and basically use them as a pawn to wreck the US, then it is the same as the country doing that itself. It doesn't matter if the pawn is getting rich or not.

The cooperation between US corporations and China in the future is going to be interesting. They are already overlooking Chinese atrocities and repression of their people in the name of profit, and no doubt view the destiny of the country as being in their hands rather than the government's.

That, I'm not sure of. I'm basically just trying to make moves that will hopefully pay off in the distant future so long as the shit doesn't hit the fan before that. Otherwise, I'll be fucked with everyone else.

[–]8017352 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Is anyone here into conspiracy stuff?

Better stories than movies provide. And if anything turns out to be true, well, was still a good story.

are all safe because they are within normal health and safety guidelines

That change, iirc.

cancer

I wonder how much cancer did this "music" cause, and I'm wondering where all the water from Fukushima is going...

what if the US is under covert warfare via propaganda from another country or countries in an attempt to weaken and eventually overthrow it via infecting it's people with lies, misinformation and "divide and conquer" tactics?

Not sure it's aimed only at you guys. I think the mindrape would likely be global. The fights, otoh, happen all the time - opportunism and "wargames".

That said, Scott Adams suggested another interesting idea regarding AI. It's not completely unbelievable imo.

edit: music link fixed

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Sharing increases in productivity helps the economy for everyone.

It certainly does. But when you use the power of coercion to forcefully apply the sharing broadly, the sharing occurs so inefficiently as to make the society poorer on the aggregate.

This is why central economic planning always impoverishes any society which uptakes it.

It gets back to that objective theory of value thing I mentioned in another comment to you.

If the minimum wage had kept pace with increases in productivity it would be $24/hr.

If you want to solve the problem of productivity gains not being distributed throughout society, minimum wages are the dumbest possible way to do so as you will simply displace low skilled workers into unemployment.

Rather, get rid of the Federal Reserve banking system and allow a free market monetary system. That’s how the productivity gains are being stolen.

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Watched the Elisa Lam/Hotel Cecil documentary on Netflix last night

It was pretty entertaining, but it was annoying how much real estate they gave to online conspiracy theorists who were running with absolutely batshit insane ideas with no grounding in reality. And even harassed one guy to the point of attempted suicide

The chick very clearly had a psychotic break with reality, due to under-medicating her bipolar disorder. It’s something I’ve seen happen IRL, and it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever witnessed. It’s just so clear this is what happened, I don’t understand how anyone could think it was anything else

I’ve watched this and the Britney doc. I think I’m going to give Trial By Media a go next

But it got me thinking about docs I want to see, and I think top on that list is one on Amanda Bynes/the absolute hell Dan Schneider put her through and the severe mental health issues she’s still dealing with. Her story makes Britney’s look like a Disney movie

EDIT - I would also want to see one on the shit Bryan Singer got away with. I can’t believe he still gets work. There is a documentary on Vimeo, but it’s made by someone who is so crazy Q Anon that I’m not sure I’d trust any info in it at all

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Agreed but lets be real, the work needs to be done.

The "casting couch" is not bad unto itself. The problem is that the subordinates have to do her work. She may help sure. But she will never work as much as the normal employees. If she does not out right goes out of her way to bother others.

That is the case with my boss. she has some nice ass but an ass for a brain too. We of the department need to do everything around her, because she don't know how to do shit... while our true leader (a colleague of mine) has to be shouted down, barrated, unappreciated and underpaid because he is guaranteeing the jobs of everyone else, against her wishes... including her bosses.

This ship is sinking if he quits, and simply put, I will quit too.

That is not how you do business.

If you gonna choose one for sex, at least put one who is able to be slightly more competent than a under-graduation drop out. All women have vaginas.

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Idk, I feel like I can generally tell how tall people are, but maybe that's just me.

If all guys wore height boosting shoes wouldn't it just net out. Like the 5'8 guy would get 2 inches taller, but so would the 6'0 guy. And I still think most women would mock and/or lose attraction for a guy who did that. Like I could totally see it as a twitter or reddit post "Just had a date with a guy I thought was 6'0 but turns out he was wearing lifts. Typical LVM behavior 🤣"

altho like most women, tall is always good.

That's why I think it can be worth it for some guys. Again, I personally wouldn't do it as I am too much of a pussy and think it would fuck with my overall proportions.

However for guys who are brave enough and have proportions that wouldn't be messed up by increasing height, there is no other surgery or improvement you can make that just instantly and unanimously improves your sex appeal quite like increasing height does.

Like regulardless of what other traits a guy has the 6'2 version of that guy will almost always be more attractive than the 5'8 version of him.

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Are you religious? I honestly feel the same way about attraction towards women too sometimes, b/c I'm religious as well.

So me and my friend are both girls with homosexual tendencies who are trying to repent.

I know this is probably due to religion, but there's really nothing wrong with it. It's not something you can help, and you may be miserable due to suppression of it.

I didn't really think anything of it until I told my mom and she asked me if she might "try to push her agenda on me".

It sounds like your mom is a big influence on why you think it's wrong to feel this way. 😅I disagree; She's your friend, it's not an agenda.

I've never hung out with a girl who was open to dating girls before. And even though I know it is wrong I've been fantasizing about dating women.

It's not wrong to fantasize about. :( I mean, you can try your best to stop it, but I think it would feel a lot better for you to embrace who you are and maybe talk to outside, objective sources about it? Other friends who you can talk to (maybe not necessarily religious friends), a therapist, etc.

So is a restaurant too intimate?

Of course not. You can eat at a restaurant with a friend, even a female friend, and have it be platonic.

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Yes. Cause testosterone would be akin to pushing pure acetylcolyde, dopamine and/or serotonin (which is possible to do but never done in real life unless emergencies) Instead of medication which affects those hormones.

This would not only destroy the body of the patient but make them unable to everr get back to normal. Same with testosterone.

If it gets too low, your heart stop beating/stop breathing, too high and you have a heartattack. It is one of the most important hormone to muscles. You can't play around with it.

Adhd medication affects how these hormones are affected. It is not theie pure form. And whomever does that should have their medical license revoked.

And the probelm with testosterone is that it is so similar and connected to the levels to all other of its kin hormones like estrogen that there is no way to affect it alone.

Take testosterone and chances are ya may need a small dose of a lot of other hormones and hormone affecting medicine. Like trans do. Testosterone unlike the regularly fluctuating hormones of women. Is just one normal hormone for the functioning of our body everyday function which happens to be pumped to eleven in men.

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low N starts to seem like you can’t get a guy to take you seriously. (At least, that’s how it’s been explained to me) No man wants to be the fool who jumps on woman every other guy has rejected

Hahahahahahaha just when I thought it couldn’t get more ridiculous 😂😂

It’s the exact opposite of what you’re describing.

The high n woman can’t get a man to stay with her for longer than a few weeks/months, hence why she keeps racking up the high n-count.

A high n woman is one who can’t get a man to take her seriously, because men are running through her and then dumping her very quickly... hence why the n-count is high.

On the other hand, if a woman is low n, it means that men have tolerated her for long periods of time. Hence, men are not rejecting her, because well, they stuck with her for years on end.

If a woman is a catch, she wouldn’t get the chance to rack up a high n-count, because a high value man locks that down quick. (And if she’s locked down, she’s not racking up a high n-count)

Apart from lower likelihood of infidelity and divorce, this is why men vet in favour of low n counts

No man wants to be the fool who jumps on woman every other guy has rejected

Yes I agree, this is why high value men don’t wife up high-n women

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I want to explain why any guy (regardless of n count) marrying any girl who is not a virgin for his first marriage and unless the girl has a higher income than him kinda just objectively does not make sense. You can assume that if a girl is not waiting for marriage and if she does not marry her first sex partner she treated men unfairly. Let me mention a few preface points to this before I put it all together. 1 men widely prefer virgin partners for marriage. 2 Women have waaay more options for casual and premarital sex in general than men. 3 men are most attracted to young women 18-21 and women are most attracted to men their age at 50. Women, and this is generally unknowingly have a strong tendency to go for men for casual and premarital sex in general who are at least somewhat more attractive than them and as we discussed before how casual and premarital sex is biased towards women men get the shit end of this situation. And so that alone eliminates like 95%+ of women who have an n count of even 1 in the rare situation that women are the ones who picked a guy who they were not too good for I feel u that those are reasonable but it’s still kinda like u still kinda sorta deserve a younger virgin for marriage I mean if u don’t get the best years of her life why does she get the best years of yours? Like I get that it’s not her exactly fault but I still don’t see how it’s exactly fair for the guy. And regarding men who have lots of sexual experience. Did U actually fuck girls who u preferred over your current wife or did u have to settle cuz realistically speaking I don’t see how u didn’t have to settle quite a bit the girl ur going after for marriage is realistically more attractive than the girls u could get for casual sex so I don’t really see how any amount of casual sex will change this and I also just fail to see why high n count people should or would want to get married at all so there’s also that. I hope all this makes sense I tried really hard to explain a complicated concept as simply as possible. Plz ask for clarification if there is any confusion.

[–]Bandit1749 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The real question is why do you seem so adamant to get other people to sign off on and agree with your standards? Trying to do so is a waste of time. Are you hoping some girl is going to read what you wrote and say "You know what moneygang, you make a good point. No guy in his right mind should ever marry a non-virgin even if he isn't a virgin himself. Also, here take my virginity! " I can promise you that will never happen. Ultimately, you don't have to get women to agree with your reasons for not marrying non-virgins. Just reject them and shut the fuck about about it. Your odds of successfully finding and marrying a virgin will be much higher if you can do that.

Regardless of whether it is hypocritical I agree you don't technically need to have the same traits you desire in the other. A woman doesn't need to have a six figure salary to get a man who does. She doesn't have to be tall and strong to get a man who is. A woman with anxiety and insecurities can get a man who is calm and confident and a non-virgin man can get a virgin woman.

You say you have consistent casual sex which means you are likely better looking and more confident than the average guy so I would say you're odds of getting a virgin are actually higher than they would be for a virgin guy like me. You just need to be less toxic about it. That is your only problem. A virgin girl is much more likely to date you if she doesn't know her virginity was a qualifying factor for you dating her.

However if you expect to get a girl who sees the world through your eyes and affirms your logic then you probably won't get what you desire.

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I’m mostly just jealous that they can get casual and with men they want so easily.

Male sexuality and dick is cheap. Most women have orbiters, whether they collect them or not. I actively ward off orbiters, because I don't want casual sex, so do some of my friends. Female sexuality is more special or something, apparently, since male thirst is so intense. That's how it is.

I just don’t feel comfortable growing emotional attachment to a girl with previous partners cuz sex with them doesn’t feel special idk like the more people they have send with the less sex with them means

It's going to be really difficult for you to find a woman without previous sexual partners especially as you get older and in the areas around you. As well as fulfilling your other standards.

And like I get that it’s rare cuz virgins are pressured

Then try to understand the other side of things. Even if you can't get over your preferences.

I’d rather just stick to something more casual.

Yes, this is best for you and I'd advise that you learn to like it. Pros and cons to everything.

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I was just asking because earlier you said you wanted marriage but it wasn't realistic for you. I was thinking you could solve that issue with your current relationship, and logically it would make sense since she lost her virginity to you.

women get less attractive with age and men get more attractive with age.

This isn't true, and wouldn't be true if you loved someone. I mean hypothetically my husband could let himself go, like 95% of older men I see. But I'd love him so I'd encourage him to stay healthy and find attraction in him. My mom looks better than my mom, most of my mom's friends look better than their husbands. It is what it is.

the only girls worthy marrying for a guy are those who force men to wait.

No one can force a man to do anything, and I know older men in here (like I've talked to like 3-4) who would say the exact opposite and that their wives slept with them within the first few dates. Also I could name many more users here who either 1) like "sluts" or 2) prefer "sluts" to "prudes".

So not every man will share your opinion. That's fine.

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You can assume that if a girl is not waiting for marriage and if she does not marry her first sex partner she treated men unfairly.

How? People often don't choose correctly for their first partner and most people don't wait until marriage to have sex because marriage is 1) less common nowadays and 2) usually put off for a few years because it's a huge decision to make and I'd think divorce would be more likely when you don't know your partner well enough. Most couples don't wait to have sex for years, although some do. Anyways, quick marriage is a thing in religious couples though, as to avoid premarital sex.

1 men widely prefer virgin partners for marriage.

Virgins are rare and from what I see with men here, women who are still virgins at a certain point could signal "prudishness" or a low libido. I think "low n count" to average is preferred in terms of commitment.

Women have waaay more options for casual and premarital sex in general than men.

I genuinely don't think the gap is that big-- not "waaay" more options. Aren't you having premarital sex?

men are most attracted to young women 18-21 and women are most attracted to men their age at 50.

No lmao. Men are not only attracted to 18-21 y/os (in fact the age range referenced for young women/humans in general isn't... that narraow, usually 18-25). Women at these ages nowadays aren't even more likely to be virgins. And 18-21 yr old women (I'm 19, with most of my friends and acquaintances being in this age range) are surely, by and large, not attracted to most men at 50 (I referenced healthy relationships around me to you in an earlier comment with you-- most of those age gaps are within 7 years max either way). 30 year age gaps (over 15 yr age gaps in general tbh) are very rare, frowned upon nowadays (like something that's definitely weird), and not realistic. It's not like women stagnantly are attracted to men old enough to be their fathers (gross) from 18 onwards. There has to be something going for him like exceptional looks (you're saying women in general are attracted to 50 year olds? Have you seen a non celebrity/non exceptional looking, average 50 year old man?), or exceptional money that he is willing to give out.

I feel u that those are reasonable but it’s still kinda like u still kinda sorta deserve a younger virgin for marriage I mean if u don’t get the best years of her life why does she get the best years of yours?

I'm a virgin. I want a man who absolutely does not fetishize my n count or is a virgin himself. You're a hypocrite if you're having casual sex and ragging on women for doing the same.

I also just fail to see why high n count people should or would want to get married at all so there’s also that.

I guess because they want to settle down with one person, maybe start a family, or maybe b/c of societal expectations. Everyone has their reasons. I would agree that people with high n counts may not be the best for stable monogamous relationships.

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Most men can't tell 18-21 yr olds apart from any other age nowadays. I agree that both genders are most attractive in their youth. That's literally what youth implies. A lot of women don't want or need a provider role anymore, so in terms of value unless you're an exceptionally wealthy older man, it's not easy to pull when age does its number.

I clearly explained why male and female virginity are not equal. Women have WAAAAAAY more options. Make a tinder as a guy and then as a girl. It’s like 1000x easier to get casual sex as a girl.

It's sad you think that way about virginity. Virginity is just a construct anyway. I don't place value (or degrade myself based on it) on mine, it's just a random attribute. Don't be a hypocrite and expect to be able to have casual sex but only want a virgin. Studies may have shown high n count women are more likely to be unfaithful -- but they have shown the exact same for men. And yeah, I agree it's much easier to get casual sex as a woman b/c that's all a lot of men want.

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18-21 year olds and older women put on enough make-up to even the playing field, and some olderr women take even better care of themselves (or are genetically blessed, or are melanated 😇) than my peers lmao. I do agree about men in that category as far as SMV/RMV goes, but the difference is slight.

And it’s the fact that women don’t care about what I want more than the virginity itself that’s such a big deal.

Why should every woman think about you before they have sex with someone? And do you think every woman is coming only to you for commitment after getting railed by a ton of other guys or something?

The thing is, they don't care about having premarital sex because it's normalized for men and women. They aren't thinking about the minority of men like you. Even virgins aren't thinking about men who will fetishize us for something we did for ourselves, not for them.

Like if I care about it then u should respect why u care about and save yourself for me or else it shows u don’t care about what I want and thus don’t care about me.

Is virginity your only standard? I am confused. Are you religious? Where did this obsession with virginity come from? You don't think a woman cares for you if she had sex with other men she was in relationships with?

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But what if I have sex with a guy thinking he's the man I'm going to marry but something happens and I end up not marrying him? Why would it be unfair to my actual husband who I ended up loving more, when I thought the other guy was going to be my husband? Surely, you see why it's unfair because men usually expect sex earlier on. I don't even know where to find a guy who is willing to wait until marriage, or a virgin guy, I guess within my religion but that isn't my only standard (like you said), so I might just have to have premarital sex in an LTR, but that's only if I'm like 99.99999% sure I'll marry that man.

It's unfair for you to hold that standard today, imo. She's not intending to "treat you unfairly", she's giving you her love and care and body too, and she's actually staying with you unlike the previous guy(s).

But! It's fine for you to have preferences. I don't care, I was just explaining a perspective and I wish you'd see that it's not "treating you unfairly".

Why should women think about their future husbands before they get married oh idk cuz they’re not an awful person?

Some women do think about their future husbands. They just think the man they're in an LTR with at the moment will be their future husbands (if they have discussed marriage before).

And like I don’t blame women but I’m upset generally idk.

Okay, I see, thank you for not blaming women b/c that's the way modern society is built, and there's a lot of pros to it as well.

No I have other standards too and nope not religious just uncomfortably intelligent.

Good that you have other standards and I don't know if this is something that shows you're "uncomfortably intelligent", but I'll take your word for it.

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I know I’m just upset cuz I wanted marriage idk meh.

Sorry. :( You could change your standards, or learn to be satisfied with otherwise. Remember, you're getting sex and may be able to have short term relationships like you wanted. It is what it is and could be better for you. I'm personally not going to get discouraged and aim for life-long commitment anyway and try not to have sex with men who won't commit/who I won't commit to. 😁Also, how old are you? You probably have time to change your mindset or find someone, don't worry about it. You'll be fine.

women get full blown short term relationships with guys more attractive than them it seems like

Sometimes, but could it be that you are underestimating her attractiveness or she's just not your type? There's something about her that's pretty if she gets good-looking male attention, especially a relationship from an attractive guy.

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I don’t live in a place where his size and strength is valuable in a protector or non-financial provider sense.

If you want to offer that and have it mean something, idk move to the Siberian wilderness where you have to cut down trees and build wells and protect your family from rabid wolves all alone. Or move to a war torn country/neighborhood full of rape and murder where you and your family are under threat from other men wanting to rob and rape and maim you both.

But where i live, it’s not necessary. The police exist. And worst case, women own guns now. So pow pow to danger.

So yes, most men benefit greatly from female companionship and love, but don’t offer the same value to the relationship outside of financial.

Some men do, but I can tell by your rambles you’re not a man who has much to add value to her life outside of income and who knows if you offer that.

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We’re in an open relationship now. I’m the one who said I wanted an open relationship not her and I really don’t think so cuz she’s specifically told me she wants to be with a man long term. And if we’re not dating eventually I’m Not too worried cuz I’m not sure I want to be with her long term and kinda think it’s not gonna last forever but idk. And there’s lots of reasons guys can struggle on tinder, I’m 6ft tall and pretty dramatically in shape I think it’s the area I’m in and not how I look. And look at u there already thinking about getting a better guy when u probably won’t even end up with this one long term lmao. Older Men don’t like older women where as older women still prefer older men so let’s see who ur with when ur 50 more than likely it won’t be with who u r with now

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Delusional? Lmao u mean one of the sanest person you’ll like ever meet.. Yet u keep commenting here... I can get really attractive women for sex just not women who I feel are my equal that’s the problem. Do u know how hard it is to find a looksmatch virgin girl who is kinky and intelligent and comes from a good family plus a few other things? Like do u have any idea how hard that is to find like not even whether they will reject me or not even finding a partner for me is a serious challenge my dating pool is minuscule because of how oddly specific I am. My current gf is hot and was a virgin when we met and is kinky and stuff so apparently I can get attractive women lol. I have a pre-existing condition and live in the middle of nowhere plus I’m devastated that women today are unmarried so why the fuck not post here? Are u not a High value woman then too cuz u post here?

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Yet u keep commenting here

I always look forward to your long-ass chain of rants, they're honestly hilarious.

😂😂😂😂😂

just not women who I feel are my equal

But you're not a virgin, where's the equality? 🙃

Do u know how hard it is to find a looksmatch virgin girl who is kinky and intelligent and comes from a good family plus a few other things?

A kinky virgin. I too want an athletic dude that don't spend his time working out; that's time he could've spent with me /s. I bet you also want a size 2 that eats burgers everyday?

finding a partner for me is a serious challenge my dating pool is minuscule because of how oddly specific I am.

I swiped right on 2.4% of the men in my town. 🙃 Had about 110 matches, went on a date with 3 of them; one of them my partner. Found my partner ~5 months and official couple about ~7 months after I downloaded Tinder. I met 0.07% of the men I swiped on.

plus I’m devastated that women today are unmarried

And I'm devastated that there are still children starving in the world, but I'm not letting it influence my happiness.

Are u not a High value woman then too cuz u post here?

I think I'm pretty ok 😊 and my partner isn't complaining either.

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A huge problem in dating is that men can be really attractive or really not attractive where as women all tend to be on a more similar level. The maximum level of attractiveness a man can be is dramatically higher than the max attractiveness woman can be. Men are mostly just attracted to a woman’s looks where as women are attracted to lots of traits men can have. This means that in terms of SMV the most attractive men are literally too good for any one single woman. Where as the most attractive women no matter what she does is simply just not as attractive as the most attractive men. And this goes both ways too where the least attractive men are just not attractive enough for even the most unattractive women. This is why we need forced monogamy or we will end up with an animalistic Society.

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That people who are married stay together longer than people who don't,

Does that account for people who aren't married but stay together for longer than the others? I think you would be conflating compatibility with marriage as though marriage is what is making people stay together longer rather than compatibility. Also, people are hesitant to divorce because it's a messy process and would require the couple to separate, so people stay together longer because they don't want to go through the process of splitting up.

which for children means more time spent in a two parent household, which is better for children than being in a split parent household or a single parent household.

Is being in a two parent household automatically better than being in a single parent household though? Even if both parents are constantly fighting and basically separated but still living together? I don't think so. Kids who live in troubled households are just as bad as kids in single-parent households, if not arguably worse.

So, unless those stats are saying that marriage keeps people together for longer regardless of their compatibility, and being in a two-parent household has the same beneficial results on children whether the parents have a healthy relationship or not, I think you're misinterpreting the information.

[–]relish5k2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I think you would be conflating compatibility with marriage as though marriage is what is making people stay together longer rather than compatibility.

people who choose to get married to demonstrate long term commitment are together because they are compatible and also because have decided to make a commitment with each other. It's both.

Also, people are hesitant to divorce because it's a messy process and would require the couple to separate, so people stay together longer because they don't want to go through the process of splitting up.

Yep, that's the point. High exit barrier makes for a more serious commitment. Like a 401k.

Is being in a two parent household automatically better than being in a single parent household though?

Yes, extreme examples aside. If a home is violent and turbulent then no, a 2 parent house is not better. Or if both parents are drug addicts compared to a single parent who is responsible and loving. But a two parent household devoid of serious issues is always better because little kids need a lot of attention from people who love them. Maybe a mom living with grandma can be an OK substitute but as a rule, it's the 2 parent homes that do better very consistently.

you can't "assign" marriage as a variable to juice outcomes. A couple that doesn't get along isn't going to be better off if they were put into a randomly controlled trial and got the marriage intervention (tho that would be super interesting to do although hella unethical). The advantage comes from people making the choice to get married and what that says about their commitment to each other.

marriage is a public demonstration of commitment and what do you know, when couples make a public and legal demonstration of commitment, those are the couples who stay together for longer (if not forever) and their children benefit from it.

So if what you're looking for is long term relationship, and stability in child rearing...that's literally what marriage is for

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Finding dates is easier but the actual dates are also easier because of what you wrote here.

I was pointing that out though because there is still a negative that will come in to the picture. Whether it's at the date or after the date doesn't matter much. Would you rather have someone disagree with you on a date and start an argument, or would you rather find out later on that they're only with you because they wanted your money?

Having more bargaining power just makes all aspects of the negotiation easier.

I mean if you're looking to negotiate some things for others, or looking at dating as a negotiation, I think you can't complain if someone makes things difficult for you down the road. Dating is about finding compatibility and common-ground, not about negotiating and misrepresenting yourself.

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My current partner is good looking, tall, well groomed and dressed, full head of hair, incredibly successful professionally, amazing family, etc

I dated the other guy briefly when I was 22, and he was maybe 23

I’m now 40, and the guy I’m with is 51. Some of the things he has going for him now are more impressive because of his age (looking at you, full head of hair), and some are to be expected up to a certain point (further along in his career)

But the big difference is sexual chemistry. By my mid-20s, I had learned that sexual chemistry is too important - if I don’t want to rip a guy’s clothes off with my teeth on the first date, it’s not for me. And this guy? The most intense sexual chemistry of my life, and somehow the best sexual compatibility

Our chemistry is such that he would have a lot of leeway regardless. I’m just really lucky that he doesn’t need it

EDIT - I’m clearly dickmatized by this guy. He’s got his flaws, don’t get me wrong, but they’re NOTHING in my mind. This is what I’m saying - the other guy was great, but he chemistry was so off that I eventually found a reason to dump him. This guy, I couldn’t find a reason if you put a gun to my head

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if you cannot reliably or at least semi-reliably describe why or how it happens

Some of it is that there are a zillion and one different factors to consider, maybe it was a just a pheromone/scent thing. Who knows

But, ultimately, breaking it down like that is annoying. I prefer to ride the chemistry wave and enjoy it, not pick it apart like it’s a dead cat being dissected in HS biology

I think you’re bullshitting and he wasn’t as perfect as you make him out to be

I’m fully upfront with the fact that I’ve been with guys all over the looks/charisma spectrum. I’ve been with a professional male model, and I’ve been with someone who I’d say was a 4/10, looks-wise (and certain PPDers have seen his/our pics, so there’s no point in me lying)

The thing that they all had in common was chemistry. Somehow, someway, they all drove me wild

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To piggyback off my casting couch comment from the other day, there’s a huge misconception that everyone or even the majority of people/women would get “the offer” in a work environment. Most of y’all ain’t pretty enough for that lol. People talk about Hollywood and Jennifer Lawrence, Jennifer is pretty(slight overrated, but still). You know how many Average or ugly aspiring actresses went up to Harvey Weinstein like bro I’ll suck your dick to get in this movie and he was like “nah I’m good”🤣🤣🤣.

It reminds me of when I worked at Wendy’s my first job. The manager who I was cool with was banging this one girl In exchange basically for a certain shift and Not being required to do much at work. But the girl was mad hot, she looked like Christina milian. My manager wasn’t smashing the 39 year old overweight single mom who worked with us, he wanted the pretty girl.

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It’s not society spoiling women, it’s men offering themselves to women. And it’s not “spoiling” if many of these men are mutton posing as lamb - that’s why the “picker” is the female issue. It’s very possible to think you picked a winner, and he turns out to be a complete loser or asshole

Women are as consumed with the “picker” issue as men are with gaining the attention of women they want

they literally cannot even begging to think about what life is like for a guy

Why on earth would any woman think about what life is like for a guy? Do men sit around, sympathizing with the frustrations and problems of women?

No, because both genders are concerned with their own problems

U sound like a billionaire who’s trying to sympathize with the poor

Except, I’m not. I’m trying to tell you that the billionaire has different problems, and while they may be sympathetic to the poor, they can’t put themselves into their shoes. They’re two totally different sets of problems

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...I guess you never saw a chart of men's and women's fat percentages did you?

A woman has to have 5-8% of her own weight in fat more than a male counterpart.

The "male strength" comes from that difference in weight distribution. By weight, men on average have around 5% more muscle. Leading to a increase in strength and stamina. Even if normal. This difference becomes even more pronounced with high performance athletes like triathlon athletes, where men have on average 15-ish more muscle by total weight than their female counterparts. (that is why men's records are usually 5-20%ish better than their female counterparts)

And it is nothing to do with "beauty" it is to do with "psy-evo" and biology. Leading to women who liked things which fatten and just fattened up to have more children and thus this trait continues to this day.

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Men are not smart enough to know that

If women have figured out that some men are circumcised and some have a hoodie, men can figure this out. It’s not like they don’t have access to plenty of porn

I don’t even have one, have never had a same sex interaction, and even I know this

depends on how good looking, rich, high status the guy is

Nope. You can’t negotiate attraction, and women are not attracted to older men

One particular girl being attracted to one particular older guy is attracted to him as a person. Other older guys will turn her off

Trust me, I’m dating a guy 11 years my senior. I’m into him. But when other older guys hit on me? I have a visceral disgusted reaction - we are just programmed to have that

so why any guy should care about it that much

I’m not saying they should. But judging by what is posted here, men care about it a great deal

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I’m about to do that. The city turned on water this morning in our area and a bunch of pipes burst again so it’s shut off. Right now all the snow is melting and trees are falling and icicles are crushing shit all around outside my window. It’s pretty cool but I hope nothing damage is my property. Glad you got some supplies!

My friends with power and water also kept trying to get me to come over to their house is this week for shelter even though as you know the highways were going to be especially icy. I live by the interstate and all week long constant sound of sirens.

Another friend kept asking me to take an Uber to come over. There is no way to know if your Uber driver has the ability to navigate iced over roads but I guess she wasn’t thinking about it because she’s from the Northeast.

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Men will fuck anything, do we really need to debate that?

Okay, well then maybe men should change that and get some standards for sex. 😐Or at least "high value" ones lmao

What about all the poor fucking men who will never have a decent marriage? who gives a f about them tho right?

They'll be fine. They'll find someone, get over themselves and settle down with a woman who wants them, or realize that they don't need to settle down with those women anyway/find their self worth. Since you can't change other human beings, I'd say change your mentality so you don't stay bitter and/or stay away from those specific men/women (or the entire gender as a whole if you want). That goes for anyone, man and woman alike.

Women widely go for men who are a little too attractive for them

I literally always see young women around me in relationships with men who are not as attractive as them. What you're saying doesn't translate to real life always. What do you see around you?

[–]moneygang4life1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No how about women just realize that men will fuck anything and stop thinking they can get guys who fuck them to also marry them

Because women wanna have sex too. 😐Some women prefer casual sex.

Ur right they are pushovers but it’s disgusting that that’s the expectation. Literally disgusting.

Sure, that can be your opinion. You don't need to be the same as them.

And sure when u have blinders on and only 20% of men are above average looking I could see how u could miss that. Go on any dating app as a guy and then as a girl it’s night and fucking day how much attention u will get. A fucking child could tell u women have a clear edge here.

I'm not on dating apps and I'm sure it's a bit easier for women, but if I were on one I'd have to sort through the men who matched w/ me who only want sex w/ me. Like I said, the women in healthy relationships around me are beautiful and either in relationships with average men (no, not with $$, the average man who has something going for him that she likes), or beautiful men.

[–]moneygang4life1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh exactly women just want to fuck I get it. U want to fuck and u think u deserve it and ur future husbands expense exactly.

Why is it at women's "future husband's expense"? She has premarital sex once and is ruined in your eyes? Weird. I don't understand this logic unless you're religious and "saving" yourself too.

Anyways, this does not apply to me because I was raised religiously so I'm trying to not have sex outside of an LTR or hopefully marriage. But I have friends who fuck around OR are in relationships (so, not casual sex) but are obviously having premarital sex and I get why they would.

And I’m glad ur friends are so “beautiful” but ur anecdotal experience doesn’t really mean anything.

Yeah, they really are. *insert heart eyes here*

Not sure how u can even deny it tbh

I can deny it because my personal experience says otherwise. I'm in college and average guys are getting laid (outside of relationships). They must have something going for them, and nah, not trust fund rich kids.

[–]moneygang4life1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Okay. That's you. Don't complain about it or hold other men and women to your same bitter standards. Just because a woman has premarital sex once or even a couple times within relationships doesn't mean she's risking STDs. Hell, even people who have casual sex usually get regularly tested if they're intelligent.

I’m not letting them ignore me for guys they like more when they are at an age which is most attractive to me

Tough luck, because the older you are the harder it will be to find women at the "age most attractive to you" to actually settle down with (if that matters to you), because most people settle down within their age range and women become more averse to older men/the fact that older men want to use their bodies over time (young/older women warn each other about this sort of thing all the time), and even if you have money, a woman could be just after that if she's not really attracted.

The best you can do is look for and find a woman that is 1) attractive to you period, and 2) actually likes you, as soon as possible, and not place so much importance on her n count (or the fact that maybe she's not a virgin in specific). She will have to do the same, and 1) find you attractive despite you maybe lacking in some qualities she wants b/c no one is perfect and 2) actually engage your interest and also not place so much importance on your n count, because you are having casual premarital sex anyway, no? Don't be so obsessed with it. If you want a virgin strictly, go the religious route though tough luck there if you aren't a virgin yourself (unless she's a moderate ig, I'm moderate so). But virginity should not be the most important thing to you for a relationship. Compatibility should be :/

The average man cannot get consistent casual sex idk what planet ur on plz ask the group more about that cuz I promise u that’s not how it is for most men.

College aged men are doing fine around me.

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[–]YoMamas_azz5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

There are a few viable sexual strategies. TRP in essence is giving a generalized guide on how to appeal to the similar niches which are most effective in getting casual sexual encounters with women.

Many men who want casual sex, yet are not inherently suited to conform to appealing to these niches, discover TRP because they are unhappy with their sex lives and wish to improve on it. The problem is, people who are suited to conform to these archtypes, tend to naturally gravitate into these roles on their own without much if any guidance. Thus, many TRPers are not inherently suited to naturally fit these roles, and are as a result trying to force the square peg into the triangle hole.

If you are one of these men, and you want to continue down this path, you must either accept that your inner self will be incongruent with how you must appear to others, or go through the painstaking process of rebirth and completely retrain your thinking. The latter probably will not be fully possible for many. So if you choose the former, you should be prepared to be in for an extremely shallow experience.

You will slowly figure out that you are actually not purely trading sex for sex with women as it may seem at first glance. You are trading a fantasy and personification of an archtype to women for access to sex. You are actually subjecting yourself to being objectified and used by women. You arent a person with feelings, youre a living, breathing copy of 50 shades of grey and walking dildo for her pleasure. Many times when you try to step out of that role and show your humanity youll be cast aside, confirming your disposability and role as an object.

Now, some men are okay with this, they see it as just the toll to pay for access to casual sex. This is also a generalization and sometimes it wont be exactly like this. Sometimes you get lucky, and things can turn into more down the line if you want that. Sometimes you hold all the cards. Also you probably are undoubtedly objectifying and using women as well. Just dont go into things thinking its something it isnt, and that everything will always be on your terms.

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Im going to make the mistake of taking women at their word in believing that there are women who, in good faith, want to give advice to men, but are unsure of how.

General rule of thumb:

Did what what you are about to suggest result in, or was a major contributing factor in him getting sex. Not, did it make you think he was nice. Not, did it make you feel like he was more trust worthy, not did you want to be his friend. DID HE FUCK or was it a major contributing factor in him FUCKING. If not, then in the vast majority of cases this is not going to be helpful advice

Second rule of thumb:

Is this advice going to help a guy get a girlfriend/wife or get a hookup? If you are going to give advice about either you should be 100% explicit about which this is catering to and which it is not.

Third rule of thumb: Is this applicable to the average man? We all know there are certain groups of guys who can do nearly anything and still have women attracted to them. Telling guys about what these men did is not helpful in general, because if they were in this group of men, they likely wouldnt asking for help.

If you follow these simple rules, your level of advice giving will increase by at least 9001%.

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Well, I didn't say anything about looks only. But as a man I'll have to disagree with that reduction of male sexuality as well. I know the inc*ls love to make that assertion, but they're literal virgins with no personal evidence of the experience of sex, and can be dismissed without evidence too.

Women don’t do this comparative thing men do and project that we do. Either he arouses me or he doesn’t.

This was the portion of your comment I was disagreeing with. I just don't see how "comparison" can be ascribed only to one sex and not the other. Both sexes can have a baseline of what is "arousing" but still also compare, both to their previous partners and to other prospective partners.

I think it's just human nature to compare partners, for better or worse. You can have a history of being aroused by the man or woman you're fucking, and still instinctively evaluate them in comparison to others. Men and women wouldn't cheat at nearly equal rates if not for this. It isn't sex specific.

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U mean she isn’t “thaaat” attracted to u. Is she like completely repulsed to having sex with u? I think women honestly don’t have thaaat high of expectations for looks in term of like how attractive their bf has to be for them to actually want to have sex with them. I think women have just been sooo spoiled by society than anything less than like perfection is settling to them cuz they saw all these Disney movies and all these Instagram models and celebrities and how much attention they get from men. They just assume they can all get whatever they want from men and so the reality of things is crushing and makes them feel like they r “settling” even tho they would have happily have done it in the first place if society didn’t spoil them and ruin their expectation. The problem isn’t that they aren’t attracted to most men the problem is society has ruined their expectations

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There probably is some desire, but most likely based on emotional connection rather than physical attraction. Even on here most women admit that very few men are physically attractive yet most men do eventually get married.

yeah, I get that but imo as long as the woman physically desires him, he's not really a bb

But its more of a mild/moderate desire.

I've seen alpha described as how you get sex. So an alpha is when you are attractive enough that women see you as worth having sex with based on looks and charisma alone while beta is when you need to wait longer, build an emotional connection and bring other stuff to the table before you are worth having sex with. So any guy whose wife never would have considered him for casual sex and is only willing to have sex with him within a relationship/marriage is arguably bb.

To be clear, its fine to be viewed as both fuckbuddy and husband material, but if she only sees you as husband material and never would have chosen you as a fwb then thats bb imo.

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Showing affection is wanting to spend your time with me, without expectation of any return of utility.

Showing affection is definitely mutual though. Women don't want to cuddle up to a man that's stiff as a rock paying absolutely no attention to them.

“Gifts” other than the gift of yourself are meaningless.

Okay, that's you.

I have everything that I need and can buy (pretty much) anything that I want for myself.

Well, that's not the point of gift-giving. I don't have to get you something expensive for you to appreciate it, that's true for most men at least. It's quite literally the thought that counts, the fact that she wants to spend money on you and get you something she thinks you'd like depending on how well she knows you, she was thinking of you, etc. that's why even surprise gifting is very cute. And the same reasoning applies reciprocally.

whetver “gift” you might give is just a thing, temporary and empty.

This is true, I'll give you that. But in my experience, I cherish things a bit more because my friends or family or someone special to me gave it to me and I associate memories with it.

The only meaningful gift is your appreciation of me for my being, and that has no shape or form and doesn’t need any manifestation or proof, it just needs to exist, in and of itself.

Yeah, I agree that this is the most important thing. But this isn't special I think, this should be an everyday thing from both partners.

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a 50 yo women dating a 20 yo man is wayyy more rare.

I agree.

I can assure you a 50 y/o woman wouldn't want commitment from a 20 y/o though. Usually older women have more sense -- they don't even try even if they could pull (and they can pull), like... do you think they would have anything in common? What is a 20 year old man to her? Attractive, like any other 20 year old, that's the only positive. A single 20 y/o man would fuck any woman attractive to him though, age doesn't matter. I've seen it haha.

The reason a 50 y/o man dating a 20 y/o woman is more common, speaking as someone in this age range, is because more often than not, she is quite literally attempting to suck resources from him and may have him pussy-whipped. If she can't do that, she'll leave/allow herself to be tossed aside happily. It's not because 50 y/o men age better-- it's because their money ages better and they are more willing to dole it out than rich women (I know pretty zoomer boys who want to be provided for though and tons who have MILF kinks 😭). The few young women who consistently date older men know how to play the game. Personally, I'll come across sweet older men though, who aren't trying to get into my pants, and that sort of interaction sticks out. But ideally, commitment and sex will be for the attractive & compatible men in my age range (1yr down, like idk 7 years up) because we can grow together.

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Well, I would be more physically attracted to the early 30s man. But I don't have casual sex, and I would still prefer the man closer to my age just off first impression. When it comes down to dating and who I would have sex with (for me: treating me well and listening/engaging in conversation with me where it seems that you are interested in what I have to say --> attraction --> arousal), it would come down to who I am most compatible with and if the early 20s guy has other things going for him physically that I'm attracted to (hands, veins, physique, height, frame, any of the above). I would overlook premature hair loss for a man who is perfect for me otherwise. And if the early 30s man only wanted me for my body or has different expectations for me/is not compatible with me, I would easily disregard him.

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I want a monogamous relationship but as of now I don't see having kids in my future. I think my mental health and other factors would prevent me from being a good and willing parent, though I love kids (I'd be more willing to have pets, whether single or in a relationship). I also think there's other things in life I wanna do more, like travel.

If I had them, I definitely wouldn't be a stay at home mom.

Yes, I am moderately religious (I don't need a partner who believes and follows my religion necessarily, but one who respects it, embraces it, and would talk to me about it), not perfectly following it aside from core beliefs (I feel like depression kinda blocks me from having full faith sometimes), but it's what I was born and raised as, so I'm holding off on sex/avoiding casual sex. I have friends who are very religious, friends who don't follow any religion and also friends who are part of a religion but don't follow it precisely.

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I think the phenomenon is in people's heads more than anywhere else. Once you recognize your unique self-worth, stop focusing negatively on the girls who are clearly not into you personally, and stop wasting your time tryna change their point of view or being frustrated about it like it's fundamentally wrong.

Then you kinda start seeing a simple truth: you do NOT want to be with a girl who does NOT want you. Simple as that. And it's not because of other guys it's always strictly between you and her. And if it seemed different until a Chad showed up and she switched from you to him, it just means you weren't picking up the dynamic between you correctly in the first place. There was nothing there to begin with.

You only want a girl who is attractive to you AND is attracted to you just as much. You just haven't met her yet. Blaming other people for that is just counterproductive.

At least this outlook on things helped me get my head straight. Clears up a lot of space for other interesting dimensions of life. Life gets bright and diverse. Instead of me sitting there busy being an incel lol

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I am not laughing at Texas, it is not funny what is happening to them but certain decisions led them here. All of those decisions were made by Republican lawmakers. I am in Tennessee we do not have power outages yet but I can see our local utility company edging towards rolling blackouts they are already telling people to limit water use.

Tennessee and Texas are both run by do nothing Governors who want no planning, no legislation, no logistics, and no regulation and when you just let the free market decide everything then massive fucking chaos when there are large scale problems brought on by things like weather.

I don't think people are laughing at Texas because it is a red state they are commenting that red state type policies involving non intervention poorly planned infrastructure and a lack of investment in public utilities and logistics led to this.

Right now we are slightly better off in Tennessee but not much. Because there is no to little road maintenance where I live when bad weather conditions arise there is nobody to fix the problem. I cannot drive my car out of my neighborhood because I do not have a huge truck and my street is an ice rink. So some guy with a huge truck drove me to work.

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Surrounding states like Oklahoma and New Mexico are prepared because they actually experience this weather on a regular basis. Louisiana is more comparable to the parts of Texas that are struggling with this, and they're having the same problems we are. As are states like Kentucky, West Virginia and Oregon who are much more used to winter weather than we are.

The parts of Texas that are used to this weather are dealing with it better (Lubbock and Amarillo have snow plows and salt trucks, for example, in addition to being on a different power grid). Central and South Texas deal with flash floods, hurricanes, tornadoes, severe hailstorms and months on end of 100+ heat every year without this kind of system failure. This is a very unusual weather event that these parts of the state had no reason to be prepared for because it never happens here.

Don't get me wrong, ERCOT is fucked and a lot of this is their fault, but this storm would have been crippling regardless.

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I used to get excited for snow because of snow days

Me too! But with the advent of Zoom, administrators have eternally doomed kids and college students. Now we are expected to have class on snow days??? I'm actually grieving.

since I've entered the workforce and especially since I started working from home, the snow doesn't bring the same excitement. 😔

:((( I can see that. I just like the cozy feeling of being inside when it snows. My ideal scenario that sparks happiness in me is it being a snowy night, taking a warm shower, and coming to sleep in freshly cleaned and dried warm sheets and blankets. Add in hot chocolate and yeah, that's my type of therapy lmao

I definitely prefer the cold winters over the hot humid summers tho. Cold is much easier to adapt to

Yes, same!!! Also I prefer putting on clothes and being swaddled up, to taking off clothes. I also prefer layering blankets.

I also hate dealing with ants, flies, spiders, and mosquitos in the summer.

Definitely. I live in a city though so it's not as much of an issue.

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Well the biggest probably being how notable government officials are responding, like Ted Cruz openly went against providing aid for those affected by Hurricane Sandy and the California Wildfires and is now asking for others to be empathetic and giving to the situation affecting Texas, which yeah that would be a good, but it's still a little funny to see how fast he switched.

Combine that with the fact that oftentimes red states themselves seem to be completely fine with dishing out jokes when shit hits the fan for blue states, you get this fun "good when it's you, bad when it's me" type stuff going on (and I say this as someone that isn't pro blue or pro red or whatever).

And there's also a fun bit of personal irony regarding my family in Texas. It's actually my sister and her family and they actually only just recently moved to Texas (like 4 months ago) from California because her husband got a better job there (and they were in California during the wildfires as well and caught their fair amount of shit during that period), and I still remember one of her main motivations from moving from the Northeast to California was "I don't like the weather here", so that is pretty funny too, I called her yesterday to check on her and we had a laugh about it, seems like disaster is chasing her.

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people tend to value that which is harder to come by. Men seem to feel like casual sex is harder to come by

Where were you when I was coming up with bad, strained analogies?

The general assumption is that women’s standards on physical appearance for a casual sex encounter are at least as high or often higher than they are for a relationship

Of course they are. We get offered dick every time we turn around, if we’re eating McDs, we’re going to go for the option that looks the tastiest in the short term. We’re not there for the long term health benefits, just the short term pleasure

A relationship is the meal I’m savoring, not the one I’m shame eating in my car. It’s the one where I want the ingredients to be high quality, and I want to think that even if it’s indulgent, it’s not wrecking my life the way McDs would if I overindulged in that

In short, the only pre-requisite for sex is “be hot.” The pre-requisites for a relationship are a whole lot more broad and much higher, but the overall experience is so much better

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I know a decent number of middle class people too. Also I never said my social circle was attractive just wealthy lol.

In general tho do you really disagree that the caliber of men an average woman can have casual sex with is equal to the caliber of men she can get into a relationship with?

Let me rephrase. I agree among women who seek casual sex with strangers their casual partners tend to be more attractive than their LTRs. I've mentioned before one of my close friends fits the AF/BB model to a T (she fucked a lot of tall, muscular guys then married a socially awkward engineer).

However I don't think it's common for women to seek out casual sex with strangers. While most of my friends had sex quickly with their partners, they also knew said partners through their social circle(s) before hand. That means there was already mutual interest and a high chance of a relationship happening. That's what I mean when I say their relationships started as hook ups. Not that they were meeting randos off Tinder, but they weren't doing formalized dating/courting either.

[–]Bandit1741 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Is your circle mostly rich tho or is it even mix of both?

and are your friends mostly average looking girls dating average looking guys?

Let me rephrase. I agree among women who seek casual sex with strangers their casual partners tend to be more attractive than their LTRs.

ok, it sounds like we do agree then.

I've mentioned before one of my close friends fits the AF/BB model to a T (she fucked a lot of tall, muscular guys then married a socially awkward engineer).

Yikes, yeah I think I remember you saying that before. Is she not sexually disappointed with that dynamic?

I think you also said the guy was aware of her past and didn't care, correct?

However I don't think it's common for women to seek out casual sex with strangers.

I would agree it's probably not the norm for women to be specifically seeking out casual sex the same way men do, but a moderate minority do and even among the ones who don't deliberately seek it out many do engage when the opportunity presents itself and the guy is hot enough. I also think women are more inclined to engage in a casual fuckbuddy type arangement with a hot guy off tinder and stick with him for a month or two than they are to just have a string of random one night stands in short succession.

While most of my friends had sex quickly with their partners, they also knew said partners through their social circle(s) before hand. That means there was already mutual interest and a high chance of a relationship happening.

ok, that's not typically what guys are talking about when it comes to casual sex, sex on the first date or women having higher standards for casual sex. It sounds more like those were all just relationships that developed out of friendships so what you said about them having sex right away after deciding to date makes perfect sense.

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Is your circle mostly rich tho or is it even mix of both? and are your friends mostly average looking girls dating average looking guys?

An even mix of rich and middle class. My coworkers are all very wealthy but many of my childhood friends are just middle class.

Appearance wise I'd say average to above average? I don't regularly interact with any model tier men or women.

Is she not sexually disappointed with that dynamic? I think you also said the guy was aware of her past and didn't care, correct?

I get the impression they're both satisfied with the dynamic but I don't delve that deeply into my friends sex lives. Also they've only been together I think 3 years? So hard to say how it's going to work out in the long term.

ok, that's not typically what guys are talking about when it comes to casual sex, sex on the first date or women having higher standards for casual sex.

Yeah there's probably some miscommunication there. I'd say most young women date and hook up within their social circle which comes with a different set of rules than doing the same with strangers. Or at least that's what it was like when I was in college ~5+ yrs ago, maybe things are different with Gen Z.

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Nah she's pretty average to below average. But he is the least attractive guy she's been with afaik.

Well even within social circle, wouldn't the more casual fuckbuddy type encounters have higher physical attractiveness thresholds ?

Hmm I don't think so, because like I said before the "rules" of hooking up within your social circle are different than hooking up with strangers for two reasons:

Women don't want to be seen as the town bicycle. Even in libfem groups women don't want to be known as the chick who fucked all her guy friends (especially because this lowers her standing in the FSM)
Men don't want to develop a "reputation". Reality is unless a guy is like the top 0.1%, being known as the dude who constantly pumps and dumps his female acquantices is actually going to lower his chances of getting with women in his social circle in the future

So ultimately this leads to both men and women looking for guys they could potentially have relationships with even if it starts casual. This is different than meeting strangers at the bar/Tinder/whatever where both genders are optimizing for sex and you don't have to worry about what other people think.

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Where were you when I was coming up with bad, strained analogies?

Practicing my slutshamming and whip cracking technique

Of course they are. We get offered dick every time we turn around, if we’re eating McDs, we’re going to go for the option that looks the tastiest in the short term. We’re not there for the long term health benefits, just the short term pleasure

Well thats the crux of it. Average guys feel like they disproportionately get left out of the fun, relaxed, no expectations casual sex that most women and a comparatively smaller subset of the most attractive guys engage in while they are in their prime. Furthermore we have to live with the knowledge that when we do get into a relationship we are more than likely less physically attractive and less experienced than the men our wife/gf had casual sex with.

You can say "women don't value casual sex" or "of course we go for the hottest guys for casual sex you would too if you had our options" but those platitudes do nothing to aleviate the frustration. It doesn't make it any less depressing or unsatisfying. Actually the fact you are so dismissive of it and claim you don't even value casual sex in the first place arguably makes it even more frustrating on some level.

A relationship is the meal I’m savoring, not the one I’m shame eating in my car. It’s the one where I want the ingredients to be high quality, and I want to think that even if it’s indulgent, it’s not wrecking my life the way McDs would if I overindulged in that

Depends. For women like yourself who have casual sex with conventionally hot men and marry conventionally hot men, that could be true. However, most women will not end up with tall, fit, well endowed, conventionally hot , wealthy men. Most may hookup with a couple guys with similar traits like that but will likely end up with more average men for relationships/marriage.

The pre-requisites for a relationship are a whole lot more broad and much higher, but the overall experience is so much better

Most men who can get casual sex can also get relationships. However men who can get relationships can't necessarily get casual sex. So considering most men seem to find relationships easier to get than hookups its hard to believe the standards for relationships are actually higher. Broader, sure. Stricter, doubtful.

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their go to insults are calling them virgins and insulting their dick size

Because these are things that hurt men’s feelings more. Like, when Marco Rubio insulted Donald Trump for having tiny hands (implying he had a tiny dick too), do you think Rubio was evaluating Donald for sexual compatibility? Or was he trying to use the most insulting, hurtful, embarrassing zinger he could think of to piss Donald off and get him to retaliate? Ever been on Xbox live chat with randos? Guys mostly say the meanest thing they can think of that will hurt the most (“noob”, “virgin”, “n-word”, etc), not make honest assessments of a person for friendship or sex.

... which means that they evaluate man, consciously or subconsciously, how successful he is attracting and pleasing women sexually.

Most men are sexual non-entities (NPCs if you want to be mean about it) to women. Women just do not constantly evaluate men for “bang vs would not bang” the way men thing about women. Most men are kind of a sterile neutral unless he stands out, positively or negatively— women can be attracted to or repulsed by a man, but most men are most neutral to women.

And when women are insulting a guy, she most likely never at any point considered his fuckability at all, consciously or subconsciously. He’s most likely just one of the majority of men: a standard neutral default “nope” requiring no evaluation at all.

She usually doesn’t care about the guy’s dick size for sex any more than a straight dude insulting the guy does.

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It really just sounds like you're concluding that because it's what you want to be true. If it says "we don't really know" and "marriage isn't the whole reason so it mostly deserves partial credit," that's not enough for you to conclude that "it's because of marriage." I didn't quote the next paragraph after that but it says that simply living amongst others has similar benefits, but marriage being a closer bond in closer proximity with another person results in the most benefits, so what it sounds like it's saying is that closeness/proximity = health benefits, not marriage itself. The whole article does a better job of explaining but it sounds like you didn't really read it nor care about the actual reason behind the stats. The stats just confirm what you want to believe so you keep presenting them without considering the what those stats are actually saying.

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A big part of the reason "you were lied to" is because women, even today, and especially historically, did not feel like they could tell the truth without repercussion. Even here, a lot of times when you see women being honest about their preferences they get shit on by men and called shallow. If we lived in a society where there were no repercussions for women being honest, then I think they would be, at least far more often than now. I dont think it is irrational for women to lie under the circumstances.

Since im on the topic ill take some time to dispell a myth. The primary intent of women telling white lies is not because they are such empathetic and caring creatures. It is mostly because they dont want to face repercussions. Especially in real life, where they could face actual violence and social damage for being stuck up and cunty. They simply paint it as being empathetic and caring because it advances the position of "women are wonderful".

Anyways, as you can see, women lie in their best interest, and thus, I think you as a man should also not feel bad about lying in your best interest.

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]taapy234RED 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago* (8 children) | Copy Link

If there's one line out of a TV show that I always quote atleast once weekly, its "everybody lies" from House.

This is why its pretty much a waste of time to expect women to be honest with you. Or anyone for that matter.

My advice to guys is to just stop being so autistic and have that incessent expectations on others to "be real." You are basically training yourself to be honest in situations when you shouldn't, which means you are practically giving away your strategic hand to others who will use it against you, and instead learn to say lies/half truths/obvious fallacies/mind games/politics with a straight face. There's this whole field out there that studies this which can help to have an upper hand.

If everybody lies, then you need to learn to say lies and come across as "being truthful" to everyone. Just observe women for how to do this masterfully.

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I've never really considered self-destruction on it's own to be gendered. Like girls can be self-destructive and might do so in different ways (drug use still being really common) usually like acting out against authority or excessive codependency.

I agree though, I think saying single mothers is the issue is burying the lead. Some people just aren't well equipped at all for single parenthood and sometimes children suffer because of it. Single dads aren't batting any better more often than not.

And kids can tell when they're different from others especially when it comes to home life, take a kid from a low class family and let them grow up alongside middle class kids and you'll probably see some problems and insecurity arise in them. Some kids are more comfortable with it and adapt and others don't.

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It's about a self-proclaimed 21 year old incel who had a really bad experience with a woman he crushed on putting him in the friendzone and that's what pushed him into the RP community.

The thing is though, he never actually let her know he liked her yet he was angry that she would text him about her guy problems. He friendzoned himself basically. They ended up having a falling out in which he called her a cunt.

When Dr. K asked him why he didn't let her know he liked her, he replied that there was nooooo way she'd ever be interested in him. Dr. K then responded with, how do you know? He said that it was obvious in her actions. Then Dr. K responded that if he can hide his feelings towards her so well, then she can do the same. Dr. K also said that he needs to start letting woman know that he's interested in them instead of expecting them to read his mind.

The conclusion is that the incel is supposed to reach out to her again and have a "grey" conversation about how much he valued their friendship but that he had "mixed" feelings towards her because he kind of liked her. An important note here was that he SHOULDN'T profess his love for her, but instead have a neutral conversation about his mixed feelings.

There is supposed to be a part two.

[–]pre-DrChad👄 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]YoMamas_azzTheoretically 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

I watched a chunk of it. Im pretty sure I already have the jist of what is happening.

This incel comes in with a shaky understanding of what manospherian ideologies are and has not put much thought into the overall concepts, or cant articulate them live, thus cannot give a steelman argumenr. The guy asking him questions is doing so with motive even though his overtone is innocuous in order to box him into a story. Then, with the rope the questioner has allowed the incel to spin, he will proceed to hang him with it, and get him to change his mindset. This gives the audience the perception that, because the incel was unable to effectively argue his point, everything all manospherians/mysoginists say is completely without merit and people should shut it down as delusional. Its actually really calculated and insidious.

Now maybe this doesn't happen, because I didnt watch the whole thing, so correct me if im wrong.

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[–][deleted] 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]YoMamas_azzTheoretically 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]YoMamas_azz2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]vov1n 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_DrgreeMarried to Automod 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mrs_DrgreeMarried to Automod 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Slyfer_Seven 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]LeJacquelopeMale thirst is as much our enemy as female hypergamy 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChaddamhuseinPost body before calling me an incel 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PickleLineSimp for Low N-Count women 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]CanisLupisAutism 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5835 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832222 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

15!!! I'm 19, I wish I had a pet grow up with me. Did you have her since she was a kitten?

still greedy and always laying on me.

Sounds adorable.

I like the neo mastiff and they'd end up squishing her because they are so big lmao.

Just looked this up. Love dogs w/ wrinkly faces haha.

What pets do you want? :)

Hmmm, I'd choose between an Akita and a dachshund... and a husky... (edit: or even a Shiba Inu) or all, if I could afford to (and had the space and $$ to) take care of them all. As for cats I kind of want a Scottish fold. Saw them on social media and they're so cute. I don't know if I'm fit for having/raising kids (if I'll ever feel more strong of an urge and be able to afford it) and/or if I'll find a spouse, so I feel like having a pet when I'm living alone could help.

Also, for protection purposes maybe I'd choose a big dog? Living alone scares me a tad, however freeing it is (I watched too much Criminal Minds ❤️).

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Got her and the brother when she was tiny.

That must have been some years ago!! It's nice that she was able to grow with you.

One trotted up to me last time I was at the beach, then it waddled away after her owner.

That's very cute indeed haha they're so small with long bodies. The proportions are endearing lmao 😭

Big dogs def make you feel safer. You should get one.

Yes! Planning on it one day...

I'm a man pushin 30

I'll call myself "pushing 20" lmaooo 30 isn't old at all, I often can't imagine life in the future though. Hopefully my future self is doing alright and at least alive (preferably thriving). 😇

I bet you are a murder mystery addict xD

Yes, but out of horror, interest, precaution, thinking about navigating life carefully/safely, and future career paths or work of some sort in criminal justice heh. I like reading and watching things that scare me a bit too, thrilling? (So I love horror movies and psychological films).

P.S. you are strong enough to raise a dog or beybey. It's in your blood :p

Haha, maybe. I don't know.

Nice chatting. Will speak later x

!! :)

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]CanisLupisAutism1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_74 inches is enough 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_74 inches is enough 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]nemporisso 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]THdz1012 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]passepar2ttreats objects like women 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]relish5kBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2ttreats objects like women 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (51 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]zeedoctorzee 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_74 inches is enough 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBeeEgalitarian 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_74 inches is enough 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBeeEgalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Psychological_Wear_74 inches is enough 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBee1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]HOLYREGIME 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]HOLYREGIME 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🖤 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (30 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2ttreats objects like women 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (29 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]passepar2ttreats objects like women 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Atlas__B__ShrugginI AM AN INTROVERT 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Atlas__B__Shruggin1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Atlas__B__Shruggin3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5832 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Atlas__B__Shruggin2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Atlas__B__Shruggin3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]passepar2t1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago* (19 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha001 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChadThundagaCockBorderline Personality Wrangler 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🖤 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwthisaway11800misandry is my kink 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LittyKitsuneBelladonna complex 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwthisaway11800misandry is my kink 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (55 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBeeEgalitarian 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBeeEgalitarian 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker[M] -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EnrichedBeeEgalitarian 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Sad_Top1743Misogyny is not a joke Jim 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PickleLineSimp for Low N-Count women 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlVery Dairy 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]angels-fanpoppy-fan 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]LaChoffe 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe95642 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]geyges2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]ZetsucloneNo Pill 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LaChoffe 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]GridReXXAttraction Triggers Nazi 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]THdz101 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Willow-girlVery Dairy 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 -1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz101 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]THdz1012 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SeemedGood3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Slyfer_Seven 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RepresentativeSwan1Skull Shape > Everything Else 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (21 children) | Copy Link

[–]CanisLupisAutism 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]pre-DrChad👄 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NiceGuyNumber4 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nemporisso 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🖤 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Zippo-Cat 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference583 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]EusticeSymington 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]geyges🐇 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LeatherDifference5831 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]QuenchlessGato 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🖤 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]zeedoctorzee 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🖤 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]JohnDoe9564Blue Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]redditthrowaway147812 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Holy shit r/vindicta (the place FDS goes to to get practical advice on increasing your physical looks) is redpilled!

https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/comments/lnwmfr/new_rule_this_sub_is_primarily_for_ugly_women/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

We do not welcome any bluepilled posts/comments or any coping. Bluepilled basically means saying shit like "personality matters just as much as/more than looks," "you just need to be confident," "looks don't matter" etc. We also do not welcome comments like "pretty girls have it hard," "just because you're pretty doesn't mean your life is easy," "pretty girls have a lot of pressure on them" etc. This sub doesn't give a flying fuck about the "problems" of pretty women.

Also - it’s begun. Women are now using attractiveness as a barometer of equality/equity. Where do you think we’re going from here?

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Toxic masculinity: aggression, belligerence, physical and sexual violence, excessive risk taking, inability to communicate emotion other than anger

Positive masculinity: strength, selflessness, protecting others, generosity, courage

Toxic femininity: manipulation, gossip, exclusiveness, unhealthy body standards

Positive femininity: nurturing, warmth, grace, vibrance, perpetuation of beauty

Feminism stipulates that our understanding of what is masculine / feminine is largely socially constructed (even if there are underpinnings from evolutionary biology). This is evident as there is tremendous fluidity among men and women between showing typically masculine vs feminine qualities. Feminism also says that we should not punish those who fail to 100% conform to their expected gender role, and that we should try to minimize the harm caused by toxic masculinity / femininity (more often with an emphasis on toxic masculinity - physical and sexual violence in particular)

Some feminists may say that any type of masculinity / femininity is inherently bad or oppressive and men and women should act the same in all respects, but that's a pretty extreme view.

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Edit - sorry this is so long. Don't feel like you have to read it! But then again, that's why I come on PPD is to talk about this sort of stuff with non-like minded people :-)

Patriarchy describes the context within which we live, so in that sense everything does one some way or another relate back to the patriarchy. Just like everything in game of thrones is because of Westeros, or in an orthodox community everything relates back to Judaism. It is the backdrop - nothing can take place outside of the patriarchy just like nothing can take place outside of space and time

Like money, religion, or democracy patriarchy is an abstract concept that is generated from the material conditions of the lives of human, and then goes on to evolve from there in a way that is divorced from those conditions. Patriarchy started as a way or organizing the social roles of men and women based on their productive and reproductive labor, which makes sense. But eventually this ideology detached from the material reality and evolves into things like banning women from sitting in juries, which does not make sense.

Patriarchy is more expansive than men causing problems for women. For example, parents are quicker to soothe a crying baby girl whereas boys are left to tough it out, even tho they are both babies in need of comfort. When in the 1970s my father banded with other divorced dads to support each other in being active parents for their children, that was fighting against the patriarchal notion that child rearing is a female space. And when my husband took weeks or paternity leave to care for and nurture our baby girl, he was also sticking it to the patriarchy.

Women can and do find privileged roles within the patriarchy as well - there is a great scene in the episode The Coup of the office where Angela tells Dwight they will rule the office together - he brushes her off and says he will do it alone, but then dismissively tells her that she can control the women, and a cruel smile comes across her face. It's actually a fantastic allegory. I agree with you - women are totally capable of being bad actors.

So if we except that a) the patriarchy is pervasive b) that the patriarchy as we experience is almost entirely socially constructed and c) that the patriarchy is net-net negative for society, the question then is, what are we supposed to do about it? Can we hold on to the positive elements of masculinity and femininity while eliminating the harm caused by patriarchy? Or are the foundational notions of sex and gender so deeply tied to patriarchy that we need to blow it up and start again from scratch? In general, liberal feminists want to salvage traditional masculinity and femininity, or at least make it optional for men and women, and not to punish those who do not comply, whereas radical feminists want to blow it all up and start from scratch. It's not unlike the differing sects of Marxism prior to the Russian Revolution. The liberal faction wanted to make working conditions more tolerable, whereas the proto-Bolsheviks did not want any reforms, since that would only allow capitalism to continue - they wanted to blow it all up and start from scratch.

So let's say you're a radical and you decide traditional gender is inherently sexist and we need to completely reinvent it to abolish the patriarchy. Well, you are still living IN the patriarchy, just because you don't like it doesn't make it disappear. So what do you do in the meantime? The article you cited had an interesting take on this:

According to this hypothesis, women adopt BS (pro-benevolent sexism) attitudes because it helps them deal with the threat of men’s HS (hostile sexism) by rewarding them with protection, provision, and affection. One study showed that in nations where men endorsed higher levels of HS, women endorsed higher levels of BS. The authors interpreted these findings as showing that women are more likely to value the benefits offered by BS in cultures in which they perceive men to be hostile.

While it would be nice to live in a society without patriarchy and sexist oppression, we don't. in order to successfully navigate that society we live in women are incentivized to partner with men who live up to the traditionally masculine / protective role. The alternative being women forgo a real thing (the protective elements of patriarchy) in exchange for an ideal (true and total equality), leaving them vulnerable to the real negative effects of patriarchy that exist without male protection. This certainly holds more sway in a more sexist society than in the West tho.

Personally I am not a radfem. I am ok with gender roles as long as they work for you and your partner - feel free to pick and choose what you want to abide by. Just like I'm a Jew who enjoys bacon every so often.

[–]Wet_Tissue_Paper1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

People like to have their cake and eat it too.

As you say, women are incentivized to partner with men who live up to the traditionally masculine / protective role.

But I do not think that there would be many men who would sympathize with women who display hypocritical actions like on one hand, being a feminist who asserts that a man must pay for dates, look traditionally handsome and masculine, and lead the relationship. While on the other hand complaining about how women are judged by society for not meeting the standards of traditional femininity, like being too assertive, not having an ideal feminine body, can't be too idiotic or too smart compared to a man...

I'm taking this quote off of this post https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/569eho/why_feminist_dating_advice_sucks/

Women complain that they are judged for their lack of femininity. That means: big tits, small waist, big ass. Demure, but DTF, but also not too DTF. Can’t be assertive, assertive women are manly. Not a complete idiot, but can’t be too smart. We work to empathize with women’s struggle here, because we want women who aren’t any of those things to be valued, too!

To me, it's clear that the obverse of that coin is young men being judged for their lack of masculinity. Young men are expected to be

confident

tall

successful, or at least employed enough to buy dinner

tall, seriously

broad-shouldered

active, never passive

muscular

not showing too much emotion

In my experience, these are all the norms that young men complain about young women enforcing. I can think of this being the case in my life, and I think reading this list makes sense. It's just that the solution - we as a society should tell young men that they need to act more masculine towards women if they want to be more successful in dating and love and sex! - is not something that we generally want to teach to young men. “Be more masculine” is right up there with “wear cargo shorts more often” on the list of Bad And Wrong Things To Say To Young Men.

But if we’re being honest, it’s true. It’s an honest, tough-love, and correct piece of advice. Why can’t we be honest about it?

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I'm going to summarize feminism's fundamental mistake in reasoning as thus: females of almost every animal species mate with the strongest most dominant male. If there was no patriarchy women would still want men to protect them. Females of absolutely no species on Earth protect adult males.

For example, parents are quicker to soothe a crying baby girl whereas boys are left to tough it out, even tho they are both babies in need of comfort.

Again, this is how the entirety of the animal kingdom functions.

Your struggle isn't against patriarchy, it's against mother nature itself. And if you manage to get rid of what you mistakenly call patriarchy, all you're going to have is a world in which women treat men as disposable meat shields.

Equality is impossible under the feminist model because it ignores the fundamental problem of nature.

What you need is transhumanism.

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from a practical standpoint

Absolutely, men can understand it that way

I’m talking about the very visceral fear of having your bodily autonomy taken away from you. Even if the pregnancy is wanted, your body is not just yours anymore, even simple things like getting a deli sandwich or ordering your meat rare is a no-go

It’s wanted, it’s welcome, but you can no longer make simple decisions about your body based on what you want. Not to mention the fact that your body will completely change (in a way men - a group that includes your husband/baby daddy) make very clear that they find off putting), and there is still a very real risk that your pregnancy could seriously injure or kill you. Even a good vaginal labor often involves an episiotomy

All of that is traumatic in a best case scenario. Now, try to understand how much scarier and more daunting all of that is when the pregnancy isn’t wanted

Men can understand the practicalities, but there is literally no situation where a man can relate to that visceral fear. EDIT - and that’s not to say it’s unreasonable that men don’t get it

But I understand why the side effects of hormonal birth control for men were so hard on them that they discontinued the studies. They’re the same for us, but our visceral fear of pregnancy makes it worth it. Men don’t have that fear, so the side effects aren’t worth it

[–]geyges0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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If you’re willing to do away with free-will I’m 100% on board

That’s where I say that yes, I am. I think base survival instincts (and here, we’re talking about the survival of the species) override free will. A hungry person will rob/mug/steal to get food. A thirsty person will do what they can to get water. Even an addict will do whatever it takes

It doesn’t surprise me that young people flush with hormones won’t be able to resist sex. I mean, hell, people rape

Are diabetics running around bitching about losing their bodily autonomy?

Have you seriously never heard a diabetic bitch about this? Anyone on any sort of medically ordered diet bitches about it, from diabetics to low salt diets to pregnancy diets to any thing. I was a miserable cunt when I was on an elimination diet, and that was insanely temporary (and helped me identify what I’m allergic to)

I had a diabetic friend when I was a teen and she almost put herself into a coma because wanted to “eat like a normal person” for once in her life

I’m absolutely puzzled by the idea that you haven’t heard anyone on a restricted diet openly talk about how tough it is

[–]geyges1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Literal child rapists make identical argument for raping children

Are you seriously thinking that I’m saying that rape - let alone child rape - is ok? It is not. It is so very, very not. It is a tragedy and very real crime against the victim (something we, as a society, have just gotten around to acknowledging, but better late than never)

What I am saying is that it happens - it happens in animals, it happens among humans. I can look at and recognize the fact that it happens, even if I detest it with every fiber of my being

This is taking us in a completely different direction, but it’s why I don’t think the tradcon appeal to morality is helpful at all. You can’t moralize shit away; if you could, gay conversion camps would have stunning records of success

EDIT - side note, but I actually watched that documentary (I’m on a documentary binge lately). The justification was a lack of girls to rape/fornicate with, and without that, little boys are the next best option

In other words, they’re saying their drive for sex has to be funneled somewhere, even if they’re not raping their intended target. One of the guys actually looked into the camera and said “who else am I supposed to fuck? My grandmother?”

[–]geyges1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurferson2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

In a world with no free will

To be clear, I believe in free will for the vast majority of things. But when it comes to survival impulses, I think the lizard brain/body/whatever overrides free will. Our bodies/the species will try to find a way to survive, no matter what

both of those things are unwanted and punishable, and can be suppressed albeit imperfectly

This is where I, as a progressive, both agree and disagree

I believe these things are unwanted and punishable. I disagree with the way tradcons go about their suppression - the appeal to morals will never override those impulses. You can’t reason away certain impulses and instincts

both of those things are “it happens - it happens”

Do you think I don’t have opinions on how things can be suppressed in a more effective way?

“It happens” is nothing more than acknowledging that it happens. It’s looking at the fact that it exists, not telling people to deal with it. There should be punishment and rehabilitation as much as possible. Social programs to help mitigate the issue. IMO, of course

Some people are lost causes, psychopaths - rehabilitation will never work. Lock those few up and throw away the key

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Good points, I'm glad you're off it and reaping benefits/your body going back to normal. What are you doing instead if anything?

“much lower risk of dying of PEs” thing is pretty neat-o

I hope this isn't a dumb question, what do you mean?

Overall this is why I'm kind of nervous to ever go on BC. Heard of the tons of side effects like the ones you mentioned. I don't want to make my boobs any bigger (they're already clownishly big b/c of stupid body fat distribution & it makes clothing look obscene or tight 100% of the time, I'm genuinely jealous of small boobs), fuck up my menstrual cycle which is pretty evenly cyclical (no surprises; though I know most BC pills just take your bleeding away essentially?), affect my libido or mood (I'm already depressed like 😐antidepressants or therapy fo today) or diet/weight. Do you know any good alternatives and whether it's just pills that can affect us this severely? 😅I'll Google it too. btw hope you're alright in the snowy weather you mentioned earlier :))

[–]SmurfESmurferson2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

what do you mean

It’s come to light that there is a genetic blood clotting disorder in my family - my sister almost died of pulmonary embolisms (PEs) about 5 years ago, my father did die of them a few months ago (although there were complicating factors, including the pandemic), and both an aunt and a cousin have had them this year alone

Hormonal birth control comes with an increased risk of clots - if you have any sort of elevated risk, you’re not supposed to be on it at all. Even smoking has an increased risk while on hormonal BC

That’s why my doctor pulled me off all hormonal BC

Most of my friends are on IUDs, which isn’t for me (personal choice/comfort level). I’m 40, though, so my situation is a lot different than even my little sister (she’s 36, and her doctor wants her to get her tubes tied). My boyfriend and I talked it through, and we’re taking precautions

But to be honest with you, my age factors into this heavily. I can take some risks now that I couldn’t take even 5 years ago

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It’s come to light that there is a genetic blood clotting disorder in my family

I remember you mentioning this --

my sister almost died of pulmonary embolisms (PEs) about 5 years ago, my father did die of them a few months ago (although there were complicating factors, including the pandemic), and both an aunt and a cousin have had them this year alone

I'm really, really sorry to hear this. I hope despite the loss you have had you all are doing your best to stay healthy. It's good that this has at least come to light so you guys can hopefully take more preventative measures, but I'm so sorry about your father, and hope your sister is doing okay!

Hormonal birth control comes with an increased risk of clots - if you have any sort of elevated risk, you’re not supposed to be on it at all. Even smoking has an increased risk while on hormonal BC

Oh wow, didn't know this.

Most of my friends are on IUDs, which isn’t for me (personal choice/comfort level). I’m 40, though, so my situation is a lot different than even my little sister (she’s 36, and her doctor wants her to get her tubes tied). My boyfriend and I talked it through, and we’re taking precautions

Ohhh, I see. I should look into IUDs for the future. Hopefully less risks involved?

But to be honest with you, my age factors into this heavily. I can take some risks now that I couldn’t take even 5 years ago

That's good to hear. Good things come with every age. 😇

[–]SmurfESmurferson1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That’s so sweet, thank you. It means a lot

Of course; I mean it.

My situation is a little weird, because whatever disorder it is hasn’t been identified in genetic testing yet - my sister and cousin have had a ton of testing, and none of the known disorders pop up. So this sort of testing is in its infancy, so there are a lot of things that we just don’t know how to test for yet, so that’s not unusual

But there’s no way of knowing if I have the disorder or not. So better safe than sorry

Oh wow, so it's rare. That kind of sucks, that there's not much info on it yet (?). But definitely better to be safe than sorry, especially since it seems to be prevalent in your bloodline.

IUDs - especially the non-hormonal ones - are way less risk. Definitely talk to your doctor, though

They’re not for me, but I have TONS of friends who are very happy with theirs!

Thank you for the insight!!!

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I've had a 'fuck buddy' of sorts since last June, and we're getting quite cosy with each other. I see him every Friday night and occasionally on Saturdays.

It started with quickies, but now we have take-aways together, spend a lot of time cuddling, text each other memes most days and he's met my friends several times.

The thing is, I'm so burned by my last relationship that I can't bring myself to be in a relationship with him. There's some sort of mental block that's making it impossible to be bf and gf.

Finally on Friday night (drunk at four in the morning) he does the whole 'so are we fuck buddies or are we dating' thing. I vaguely remember him saying 'jts up to you really' and I said something along the lines of 'but it's not, it's also about what YOU want'. Then told him it's four in the morning and we should chat when we're sober.

We've got to chat but I really don't know what to say. I really like things as they are but I'm not sure it's fair on him.

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Bills and expenses need paid regardless of whether or not you're in a relationship; they aren't something you only need to do because you're in a relationship and they aren't part of having a relationship.

In the scenario mentioned - where both partners work full time - both will be contributing towards bills and expenses. If one person happens to earn more for doing no more work, then it would be completely senseless for them to do less housework. They aren't putting any more time or effort in to earn that money so they need to pull equal weight in housework.

Again, if you were the better off person in the relationship and didn't want to do housework, it would be entirely your financial responsibility to pay to get that housework done. Not just leave it to the other person to do because you what, have a superiority complex cos you get a few dollars more?

Since you're an actual child I don't really expect you to understand this. Maybe when you're older you will.

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]thelajestic3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I do DIY and the garden as well though; I don't think of either of these as "manly" tasks - my mum always did the DIY in our house and the hooking up of appliances, and I know a lot more women that enjoy garden work than guys - they just seem to think it consists of mowing the lawn and nothing else.

If I hear a bump in the night I feel like it's me and my maglite's time to shine lmao.

If we hear an overtly suspicious bump in the night we're locking ourselves in the bathroom and calling the police like the sensible people we are. I have no desire for my partner to creep downstairs and risk getting stabbed by a burger.

And if the door goes after a certain time, I'll be the one answering

That's why you have a camera, so you can see who it is and decide whether or not you want to ignore it. When I lived on my own I just ignored the door if it went late at night and I'd expect my partner to do the same tbh.

Don't women like that?

Women aren't a monolith. I'm sure some women do; I suggest finding yourself one who does. I couldn't tolerate anyone who viewed laundry and cleaning and hoovering as "womenly stuff" because it's ridiculous - it's vital stuff that needs done in a household by whichever person is available to do it.

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If I were your fella I'd curtail your DIY addiction.. I'd put all the tools on a high shelf that only I could reach and sell our ladders on gumtree. Then I'd handout flyers at the local B&Q saying "do not serve this woman".

Firstly - why? Secondly - what addiction? Doing things that need done around the house isn't an addiction.

Maybe I'm wrong but I couldn't hide. The police take ages to arrive and you have no idea if the intruder intends to harm you. I'd want to wreck them with a bat from the shadows.

I live about 3 minutes from a police station. In my old place I lived much further away from one and the police turned up in 5-10 mins when we phoned them to report the screaming argument from upstairs, and I'd estimate an ongoing burglary has a quicker response time than a domestic. We don't have a bat.

It's also symbolically emasculating to invade the space where my loved ones reside.

I'm glad my partner doesn't subscribe to such ridiculous notions.

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Title	Weekly Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	13
Comments	4884
Date	February 15, 2021 9:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lkn17f/weekly_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weekly-community-chat-megathread.743309 https://theredarchive.com/post/743309

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