How do y’all feel about ever getting married again?

Character_Hippo90 · 2022-03-23T17:41:42+00:00

Zip, zero, not on your life…

CrazySanta7 · 2022-03-23T17:52:11+00:00

F no. Tell me one positive of marriage vs. a non marriage relationship. And don't say taxes....the advantages are minimal in most cases. Not losing half again, especially at my age.

Brit_100 · 2022-03-23T18:15:42+00:00

No way.

I’ve said it before: I gambled half my life that a woman would always feel the same way she did on one particular day. I lost that bet. It would be insane to make the same bet again.

My current girlfriend has said that by this I am ‘punishing her’ for my ex-wife’s behaviour… which is a hell of a thing to unpack.

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-23T18:13:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

anonuser637373 · 2022-03-23T17:42:47+00:00

Love again? maybe yes...Marry again: Hell no

drew_peacpck · 2022-03-23T17:53:53+00:00

53, looking at my second divorce after 20 years together. Im having doubts about love again, much less marriage.

Farfromgood5000 · 2022-03-23T19:50:46+00:00

Marriage in western countries is not marriage its a wealth exchange program for irresponsible victims.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-03-23T17:51:05+00:00

Date? Sure.

Longer-term relationship? Ok but only if they don’t show red flags, meet my checklists, etc.

Married? Nope.

gronk4198 · 2022-03-23T18:18:39+00:00

Zero upside versus massive downside ... so no

peoplearestrangebrew · 2022-03-23T19:18:27+00:00

To quote the Man Show, " I would rather pack my rectum full of M-80's and squat over a flaming hibachi....."

thefudmaster · 2022-03-23T18:33:27+00:00

Nope. Not ever worth it even with a unicorn.

2022-03-23T18:06:16+00:00

Hells to the no

elripiocom · 2022-03-23T17:58:38+00:00

NOPE! once was crazy enough.

sirrush7 · 2022-03-23T18:48:36+00:00

Absolutely not. It's just a legal construct to tie you to each other...

If you want to celebrate being together, have a celebration with cherished friends and family, like a wedding even, but don't actually get married.....

Such a horrible idea. I'll never marry again.

Mammoth_Deer_1106 · 2022-03-23T18:55:46+00:00

And I quote Bishop Bullwinkle, “hell to da naw, naw, naw, naw!!”

ShaolinSoccerStar · 2022-03-23T17:19:25+00:00

Pre-nup on the beginning.

That said, maybe? Hopefully? Possibly?

I know it sounds silly, but I hope so. My ex-wife has spent so much of this divorce trying to hurt me, taking whatever she can from me. But she damn well won't be able to take away my ability to be loved by someone, to reciprocate that love and to be worthy of being loved.

NLP_Onyx · 2022-03-23T23:05:11+00:00

Never again. As a man, I've come to learn that you don't benefit at all from marriage unless your partner is quite literally exceptional in all facets and cares about you more than they care about themselves (which, for women, is in itself a trait that is 1 in 10 million, easily).

NohoTwoPointOh · 2022-03-23T18:59:21+00:00

I would rather take my tanto, cut my fucking stomach open, and watch my entrails glisten in the pale moonlight.

One-Donkey-9418 · 2022-03-23T19:51:26+00:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ChillaxBrosef · 2022-03-23T20:33:59+00:00

There's no real advantage to it unless you have children for tax purposes. Its an antiquated practice that doesn't align with many people's thoughts of monogamy. No problem being fully and completely committed to a life partner without registering with the state.

SilverknightFL · 2022-03-23T20:37:50+00:00

Fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. I took the second shame. There will never be a third. But I also thought there would never be a second.

theowawayforme555 · 2022-03-23T20:46:32+00:00

There is zero added value to the institution of marriage. Even with a prenup it offers no added value unless your future wife is wealthier than you are.

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-03-23T22:59:11+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JD-Anderson · 2022-03-24T03:13:45+00:00

I went to a casino with my friends right after I turned 21 for the first time. We were all college students, so didn’t have much money but I brought $40 in cash with me. I ended up at 0 within about 30 minutes. While driving home I thought it was just a waste of time and money. Couple decades later I haven’t been back to a casino. I usually try to make a mistake once.

northdakotact · 2022-03-24T18:26:35+00:00

I've learned since my divorce the longest i can go with someone living with me is 48 hours. After that, I'm crawling the walls. Really like my freedom, so never.

MartyMcFly7 · 2022-03-24T21:56:57+00:00

Why would I? After what I now know?!

I feel like I've stumbled upon the perfect scenario: living alone and only having a girlfriend around when I want one. No compromising, no bad spending habits, no dead bedrooms, no divorcing, no lawyers, no losing half my stuff, etc.

A wife can behave disrespectfully and get away with it, because WTF are you going to do? Divorce her? A girlfriend has to tread much more lightly; if not, you can just take your business elsewhere.

zanglo · 2022-03-23T17:49:32+00:00

Fuck no

Formal_Republic_4313 · 2022-03-23T17:50:32+00:00

Nope

flgreatwhite · 2022-03-23T21:02:26+00:00

Someone said it best…what changes the day before your wedding day and what changes the day after your wedding day? Absolutely nothing good.

FarSatisfaction8117 · 2022-03-23T22:36:26+00:00

Married twice and divorced both times. It just gets way more expensive over time, especially if the other's net worth is a lot less than yours. Not worth it

Objective_Problem_90 · 2022-03-23T23:09:16+00:00

I will never do it again. Date? Fine. But I'm not cohabitating, either. Plus stats show that 70 percent of 2nd marriages end in divorce. The first one nearly wrecked me. So big no.

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-03-24T01:17:28+00:00

Two words: Fuck. That.

I recognize NAWALT, I get that it’s “unfair” to other women, etc. etc. but going through the divorce grinder - especially with kids - and seeing just how women are incentivized to behave poorly with absolutely no consequences whatsoever, while losing what little I had and now having to rebuild - even a year and a half later the injustice of it all still stings. And I recognize how fortunate I am that I managed to get 50/50 custody through it all, despite false accusations, claims of DV, etc.

I have to think of how I’m going to prep my son for life when he’s old enough to start navigating relationships. I do believe that marriage is the best context in which to raise the next generation. But to take that gamble again, knowing what I know now? It’s too risky.

Micro_Peanuts · 2022-03-24T02:12:07+00:00

FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I barely survived the first destruction of my life, finances and family. I already have one person regularly falsely accusing me to the courts, police, CPS, friends, I need another one like I need another hole in my head!! I no longer even get to see my daughter due to false accusations and parental alienation, and the courts not only do nothing, THEY ENCOURAGE IT!! FUCK THIS SOCIETY! When the pitchforks come out, I will be there!!!!!

2022-03-24T10:25:26+00:00

I reckon some folks enjoy that crushed feeling of being kicked in the nuts.

CityDiscombobulated8 · 2022-03-24T19:59:37+00:00

Never. EVER.

EVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVEREVER AGAIN.

dadmacintosh · 2022-03-23T18:51:45+00:00

You got your answer. Mine is no different and I am looking at divorce…

crypto_keeper88 · 2022-03-23T18:52:48+00:00

NEVER AGAIN, there is literally no reason to.

jgoodstein · 2022-03-23T19:51:49+00:00

Not ever, not even for a billion dollars

2022-03-23T20:23:13+00:00

Couldn't pay me to be married again.

Udjebfk · 2022-03-23T20:39:28+00:00

I'd rather have my balls gnawed on by rabid squirrels.

bacon-wrapped-steak · 2022-03-23T21:02:34+00:00

NOOOOOOOOOO

jimmyjames2003 · 2022-03-23T21:37:57+00:00

At this point I’d sooner cut my dick off.

necroshorts · 2022-03-23T21:40:45+00:00

Only if she's rich

InAJam_SoS · 2022-03-24T00:09:41+00:00

I think marrying is dangerous and irrelevant. It's simply a business contract that's designed to devastate fathers and children while enriching the state, attorneys, and mothers. You don't need an attorney to enter it, but you need 1 or 2 to end it, really. It has nothing to do with love, devotion, and declaring it all out loud. That can be done without a marriage license.

Maybe you're asking how we feel about experiencing love again. I can only say that for me, I'm very guarded and really can't say when I'll be in a place to actually trust again. Love requires trust. It's been a handful of years since and I'm not there now but hope to be one day.

Pop-Shuvsz · 2022-03-24T00:36:17+00:00

Lol.. I wanna fall in love and trust another woman, but I can’t.

Take it from someone whose been with a lot of 2X Chromosomes, women are wishy washy. One minute they love you, the next they’re impartial..Hard to sign a contract with someone that changes like the weather. No thanks.

James1933-75 · 2022-03-24T02:03:35+00:00

Never in the marriage license sense.

Talvath · 2022-03-24T02:25:32+00:00

Not at all. Marriage is really just not necessary and if anything, it just complicates things and makes a mess when the relationship ends. The idea that relationships last forever is a misnomer. Most relationships will die and even if they continue for a lifetime, typically the couple is miserable. There are some outliers, but they are outliers and not the norm. So just stay in a relationship and when it's done, you can just walk away and never have to deal with each other again. Fuck marriage. Divorce is like a prison sentence.

Aye-Lee22 · 2022-03-24T03:03:24+00:00

I’ll never get married again. I was married 13 years, been divorced 5 years now there’s no way I can do it again. I’m 41 time to live the rest of my days for me, and if I meet someone moving forward she will know upfront no cohabitation and NO MARRIAGE

Eedoryeong · 2022-03-24T07:06:34+00:00

I don't want the one I have now. It would be like signing up to get a new tumor.

FieldG1 · 2022-03-24T13:40:21+00:00

Did it twice will not do it again realize later in life I remarried out of loneliness not out true love or partnership

giraffe-zackeffron · 2022-03-24T15:43:59+00:00

Well I’m about to endure divorce number two. So from my perspective, I would have to be a complete imbecile to get married again. Having said that, I have a very close friend who’s been married for 22 years. He and his wife are crazy about each other and they’re both blissfully happy. Being around them is like being around a teenage couple. They literally can’t keep their hands off of each other. Just constant hand holding, arms around each other, etc. If I could find that with a woman, I could see getting married again. To be honest, I would love to have what they have. But I’ve never had that with a woman long term. Every girlfriend, both wives, etc. it’s always been something that we had initially but then it fades away. My friend and his wife are still like that after more than two decades together. So if I could find that, I would happily get married again. I’m just not confident I will ever find that.

Petey1pete · 2022-03-24T16:24:15+00:00

Never again. Fool me once won’t fool me twice

Sum1StoleMyGamertag · 2022-03-24T16:44:06+00:00

"Yea thats gonna be a no from me dawg"

OldMotoxed · 2022-03-23T17:34:10+00:00

Marriage is no problem, the key is protecting yourself up front.

Look into establishing a trust before you consider getting married again. Any major purchases should be the trust (and make damn sure the trust is set up to be yours only and make sure it's set up before marriage). Do not let your new wife make house payments, do not let her spend a bunch of money on remodeling and so on. Keep the trust well funded and put as much into that trust as you can. This is good for privacy too because your name doesn't appear all over public records for home ownership/vehicle registration and so on.

Sometimes I get shit from friends because I pay for almost everything in my relationship and my SO only pays for her own phone/car/credit cards and one of the utility bills. But I sleep like a baby knowing that if it ends, I keep my house and don't have to pay out any equity, I keep my car, my retirement accounts and so on.

HelixFish · 2022-03-23T18:31:12+00:00

I would. I would want a prenup. My fiancée would also wants a prenup. We are engaged, but have no plans to marry. We are both happy with the situation.

Fyfel · 2022-03-23T19:15:10+00:00

I’m open to it if I found someone really special. I think too many divorced guys out there are forever bitter. They say they’ll never marry again because of too much risk yet how many of them try to start small businesses that have a higher failure rate than marriage 🤷‍♂️.

I say that as a divorcee father of one that basically had to start over from the ground up after my divorce at the age of 38. It sucks, shit happens, it was a really dark time in my life but there’s been a lot of really great moments since then too.

I’m open to all possibilities not ruling anything out but not going to force something that’s not there.

akihonj · 2022-03-23T18:46:11+00:00

Cold, lime being touched by the hand of death.

rockhoppernostopper · 2022-03-23T18:55:35+00:00

NOPE

redveinlover · 2022-03-23T20:32:30+00:00

Never ever again, unless she’s a bajillionaire and is ok with not having kids.

anonmdivy · 2022-03-23T20:58:12+00:00

No thank you

mlstdrag0n · 2022-03-23T21:52:53+00:00

Fuuuuck no.

Once is enough. Maybe we're biased and jaded because we didn't meet the right person, but it's too exhausting.

And traumatic

2022-03-23T22:21:42+00:00

no thank you!

The_Arch1tect1 · 2022-03-23T22:53:05+00:00

With all the access to data and just the general state of relationships why ( as a man) would you re-invite the state into your relationship when the state is clearly on the woman's side once it goes south. If you can come up with 1 reason how "marriage" (not dating) actually benefits you then I'm all ears!!

SleepyTobi · 2022-03-23T23:07:51+00:00

Me and my ole lady both are divorcees and both have made it clear there is no good reason for us to consider it again. Baby possibly, marriage not if you got me drunk and stoned in vegas.

JohnnyMnemo · 2022-03-23T23:56:08+00:00

"Second marriages are the triumph of optimism over experience", Mark Twain I think.

I have two divorced (male) friends that got remarried. One of those vowed he never would again, also.

So, what do I know. But personally I don't think I could ever cohab let alone actually get married.

dungeonmonkey69 · 2022-03-24T00:34:47+00:00

Nope. Luckily my current partner is divorced too and isn't fussed about it either.

EternalFeather5 · 2022-03-24T00:35:17+00:00

Well, from my experience, my last marriage ended on a sour note.... So I would say that it's to get married again as long as it's with a very good person who will always be down for you, gives you so much affection, love, care.... Basically, it would have to be with the right person. Good people nowadays are very hard to find. I'm lucky to find the right person in my life, her and I are already engaged and we give each other so much love and respect and care that I already see her and I spending the rest of our lives together

vector5633 · 2022-03-24T01:00:02+00:00

Not a fucking chance!

2022-03-24T01:21:34+00:00

Only if she's rich.

Even-Drawing-4208 · 2022-03-24T02:47:01+00:00

You can have the ceremony and even change names without getting the government overly involved

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-24T04:00:44+00:00

Slim to no chance.

warrior_up · 2022-03-24T04:25:40+00:00

I’d rather hump a cactus - only way would be agreed upon ongoing pre-nup, post-nup so I could walk away unscathed when she no longer finds marriage fun and wants to hop on kevins cock her ex boyfriend that hit her up on facebook

KuroDN · 2022-03-24T04:27:21+00:00

I am not 100% against it as I know it can work. However, I do not plan on getting married again. I am still young and it could happen but definitely not untill my kids are grown.

Somadis · 2022-03-24T09:59:01+00:00

Have the celebration 🎉 but fuck signing the marriage certificate.

AreaGuy · 2022-03-23T17:33:16+00:00

No rush, to put it mildly. I also think I found a particularly unpleasant spouse. We’ll see…

letak2018 · 2022-03-23T21:30:13+00:00

Am engaged. #2 is a huge upgrade from #1 in every respect. However, I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss single dad life sometimes, but overall I think she’ll be a great addition to our lives.

oneknocka · 2022-03-23T22:38:33+00:00

Yeah, i am planning on it. Will probably do a prenup tho. The thing is i am not afraid of dying alone. I’ve been unattached for over a decade. I like my lifestyle. I like the freedom.

A year ago i was telling the fellas absolutely not, LOL. Never again. Then i met someone that checked off a whole bunch of boxes on my list.

theduchess01 · 2022-03-23T23:24:04+00:00

I'm down, what is there afraid to be married again? Just cause I married the wrong one. Does not mean I won't and find the right one. I be scared living with someone and not being married and being a rent a wife, trail period partner. I call those commitment issue's and beyond. Just my opinion don't get it all twisted.

bluestang65 · 2022-03-24T06:48:18+00:00

I pretty much swore it off but I will marry my fiancé. I’ve known her since we were kids and she was ethical in her divorce. Trust comes from the length of the relationship. But the proof is in the behavior during divorce.

You guys marrying a girl whose ex was a “piece of garbage and doesn’t deserve to see the kids or get a fair settlement” are lining up to be her 2.0 evil abusive husband. And spoiler alert, you can’t afford to keep getting divorced. 😂

donkiluminate · 2022-03-23T20:32:23+00:00

Never

JohnnyMnemo · 2022-03-23T23:54:34+00:00

nope

SwamiSweatSocks · 2022-03-24T00:13:05+00:00

I'm okay with a prenup.

fesanjani703 · 2022-03-24T00:41:42+00:00

I would consider it if she’s willing to sign a prenup.

I8erbeaver2 · 2022-03-24T01:51:00+00:00

Nope I don’t think I could marry again I guess I just don’t see the point. If two people are committed to each other why do you need a paper doc to complete it and if shit goes south the guy is usually the one that get the raw deal. So no I don’t think I could do it again.

doing_my_best_co · 2022-03-24T03:13:21+00:00

After going through a divorce you realize that marriage is a financial relationship where the higher earner guarantees a lifetime living condition to the lower earner and the lower earner guarantees the higher earner absolutely nothing. So as a high earner that is done having kids , what exactly is in it for me? The lower earner is actually incentivized to leave the marriage. They can collect from the former spouse while letting the new significant other cover other expenses. I think I want to be the new significant other that some other poor bastard pays for me to …… his former spouse.

traveller1976 · 2022-03-24T04:55:41+00:00

Fuck no. Pump and dump. Stay mgtow. If by slim chance a woman miraculously convinces you, get an iron clad prenuptial.

throwawaytheresties · 2022-03-24T07:44:38+00:00

Absolutely not.

I have 2 young daughters half the time and there’s nobody that I’ve met that even comes close to what I would consider worthy of taking my time and energy away from them, let alone jeopardizing their future inheritance from me.
I will continue to have fun and play the field with complete honesty and transparency with no possible risk to my children or myself.
Never again

GraaviGala85 · 2022-03-24T08:42:01+00:00

At this moment I have zero interest. Just the thought of the process of it all brings vietnam flashbacks to mind. But maybe someday I will change my mind but at this moment when the divorce is still fresh I want to focus on myself

Sudden_Ad_4193 · 2022-03-24T12:09:42+00:00

The only way I’d do it again is if a prenup in place to protect me. No prenup, no fucking way!

Crushed_95 · 2022-03-24T14:33:19+00:00

I dont! I dont feel about ever again!

Title	How do y’all feel about ever getting married again?
Author	diggalingDee123
Upvotes	30
Comments	239
Date	March 23, 2022 5:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tl280b/how_do_yall_feel_about_ever_getting_married_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-do-yall-feel-about-ever-getting-married-again.1107907 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107907

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