Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?

ninetiesbaby16 · 2020-07-06T13:02:58+00:00

I’ve told this story before but a guy said to me “you have a lot of visible veins, are you sure you’re not older than you say you are?”: this guy was in his fifties pretending to be early thirties lmao.

I know he was projecting and negging me but I have the type of pale skin that’s super translucent, so every imperfection is very visible, and yeah I do have a lot of spider veins/ broken capillaries despite religious sunscreen use 😓 Since then I feel I need to wear foundation to cover them and have been using tretinoin in the hopes it eventually thickens my skin so the broken capillaries aren’t visible any more, and I’m really insecure about looking “older” than I am even though I know I have pretty amazing skin.

snows23 · 2020-07-06T14:00:13+00:00

Gosh yes. Not about my body directly but still the same kind of tactless insult. I was twenty, and I was getting dressed one morning, had on a lacy floral bra and my (then) boyfriend commented that "it just wasn't doing anything for him." Like dude, that's not the purpose of a bra, but darn it, that cut me deep for some reason and I still think about it occasionally.

I should have just told him that HE wasn't doing anything for me, either. It would have saved me several years of misery. The divorce will be final in a few weeks.

allthatjuicy · 2020-07-06T11:13:44+00:00

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ybfdoesthattho91 · 2020-07-06T14:44:14+00:00

My bf told me I had big thighs for someone who was so skinny. I was 16 years old and very anorexic at that time (5ft 2 and 75 lbs).

That night went home and I thought well if I don't look "thin" even while eating 1/2 yoghurt a day, I might just start eating properly.

His comment stuck with me, but it also made me realize I'd never be "good enough" for some people, so I better make sure to be healthy and good enough for myself.

Kimpractical · 2020-07-06T14:28:15+00:00

When I was 19 I was gorgeous! My bf at the time was average but my self esteem was so low I didn’t know I could do better. He told me one day that he didn’t date me for my looks, and that if he dated for looks he would be with (insert beautiful female celebrity he was obsessed with at the time) instead of with me. I was so upset at the time and couldn’t see the fact that he would never even have a chance with her, and somehow was lucky enough to get me. He gained alot of weight over the next couple of years and I was repulsed by him. Dumped him and only ever dated attractive men after. He still has never been with a woman as attractive as me since and still tries to get me back every couple of years

allthatjuicy · 2020-07-06T11:50:51+00:00

Mom, Dad, siblings and ex husband would make “observations” and “jokes” expressly to humiliate me for power and control. Skin, hair color, teeth, and body size/parts- how I walked, talked and acted received pointed criticism and scrutiny. After decades my reaction morphed from hurt outbursts to pointing out how ridiculous, unnecessary and mean this was to them in a calm manner using their own self righteous aphorisms like, “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all”. Or the family favorite: the silent treatment.

(Thankfully they disowned me. No contact is a gift.)

And then I got professional coaching to cease negative self talk because I was tired of hearing myself repeat their crappy words in my head on a loop cycle.

There’s a school of thought that says when you discard the inner negativity, the insecurities, the self doubt and loathing (that are deposited by shitty insults and “teasing”) how people treat you radically changes because that psychic kick me note that they pinned to you is just no longer there.

gooseglug · 2020-07-06T13:49:00+00:00

I was extremely flat chested in high school. I didn’t get sort of breast until after I had my son. Even nowadays I’m only a B cup. Anyways, freshmen year of high school, I had a guy tell me “She isn’t a girl because doesn’t have any tits!” I was struggling with my body image during my teens. Im 36, still struggle with my body image and that comment has always stuck with me. Even when I was at my heaviest weight, my breast never grew. They’ve always stay the same size since giving birth to my son. I’m destined to have small breast.

Brandimdhdn · 2020-07-06T12:35:28+00:00

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FDStrategist · 2020-07-06T10:50:31+00:00

Lucky for me I can’t think of any from when I was a teenager, but back in January this year a tinder match called me a “buck toothed, frog-eyed c*nt” because I didn’t reply to his message quickly enough. I spent a lot of time researching and considering adult braces after that comment. F~ck that guy, I have a great smile and I love my eyes

saffron25 · 2020-07-06T13:49:54+00:00

I can’t even type what I was told because i don’t want anyone to worry. Just know I’m alive and they are words meant to hurt you by idiots who take pleasure in hurting others

Muffy217 · 2020-07-06T12:26:00+00:00

I was 19, model proportions (5’10”, 120), and quite pretty. I was always a bit self conscious about being flat chested. My boyfriend asked me if I’d ever consider getting a boob job. He said I only needed to go up to a C to make him happy. It stuck with me for years.

unsolveed · 2020-07-06T14:34:19+00:00

Teenage boys were the absolute worst bullies in school. They love to project their behaviour by saying teenage girls are worse because they watched the movie Mean Girls, but boys are on a different level because they lack empathy and self reflection.

Girls tended to leave me alone or try to include me. The boys would use gym class to physically abuse me, they'd sexually harrass me, make fun of my hair colour or appearance. And then they just turn into shitty adult men.

bigthotstatus · 2020-07-06T13:57:25+00:00

When I was 13 or 14, the boy who sat next to me in one of my classes got annoyed at me because I wouldn't help him with something, so he told me I "am the ugliest girl he has ever seen".

I became pretty quiet in that class after that. Years later, I still can't believe that I let immature boys give me warped ideas of my looks.

lickyblickyuhh · 2020-07-06T11:26:11+00:00

My ex from when I was a teenager told me to ‘just go back home’ after police got involved because I ran away from an abusive household. My original plans were to sit down on train tracks and wait. I said goodbye to my friends and they found me. I obviously told him no I was not going to go home, and continued to evade police for a night. My mum got a personal investigator to try and track me down and I evaded him too but he got into my social media accounts. He was aware of all of this and yet he said that.

To this day it’s the stupidest shit I ever had the displeasure of hearing in my life

Azertyyy123 · 2020-07-06T14:27:31+00:00

Once a random dude told me I had feet like a male soccer player. Never forgot it and I almost never wear sandals because if it. This was more than 10 years ago and I hate that I still remember that comment from a stranger that was drunk.

jpa96 · 2020-07-06T14:56:54+00:00

I was having sex with a guy once and he told me I’d be so hot if I wasn’t so skinny. 🤮

getlowpapoose · 2020-07-06T13:45:17+00:00

In secondary school (high school), a boy from the neighbouring boy’s school said I had a weird smile, now stop myself when I catch myself smiling in public. That being said, I was more grimacing at him anyway

TheWarmestHugz · 2020-07-06T14:29:48+00:00

Some nasty ass in my sister’s year in school said he didn’t want to sit next to her because he didn’t want to catch chickenpox. She suffered with really bad acne in high school. Now she’s worked so hard, her skin is glowing and he’s still a nasty human, so joke’s on him.

throw_away_2071 · 2020-07-06T14:51:17+00:00

Back in college, as I was breaking up with someone, he said I had fat knees. It’s was pretty funny at the time tbh. There I was telling him to get a job and a life, and all he could do was tell me I had chunky knees.

rwilkz · 2020-07-06T13:22:50+00:00

I was bullied so badly in high school by boys I still have a warped idea of my looks today. Like, I don’t want to gas myself, but I modelled professionally on and off throughout my 20s. I attract very good looking men, many of them have modelled professionally too. Objectively, I know I must be attractive. But when I look in the mirror I mostly just don’t think anything or if I think too deep on it I just feel confused. I don’t hate the way I look at all, I just feel extremely... detached from it all if that makes sense? I really hate any compliments on my looks, I just would prefer it if it was never commented on at all. Which is unfortunate, because I get comments (positive) all the time, but they just roll off me at best or make me deeply uncomfortable at worst.

Lasting damage, based on 5 years of bullying, 20 years ago. I used to be really against single sex schooling, and I still don’t think it’s the best solution, but if I wanted kids they’d either go to an all girls school or be home schooled.

savagecarebear2 · 2020-07-06T14:28:09+00:00

I’m 5’5” and my ex would always complain about me being “tall.” Well, it became pretty clear he was just projecting his own insecurities over being short. So now I’m dating someone who’s actually tall and he can go be insecure all by his tiny self 😂

tonha_da_pamonha · 2020-07-06T15:21:57+00:00

An ex boyfriend called me thunder thighs and thought it was "cute" to tease me. I literally became unattracted to him in that moment.

Equipoisonous · 2020-07-06T14:34:48+00:00

I had a guy ask if the mole on my stomach was a third nipple. I thought he was ridiculous, but years later I saw something on the show "Botched" that explained things that look like moles in specific locations on your stomach (on the "milkline") are actually likely third nipples. I've been pretty self conscious about it and I actually went to a consult with a plastic surgeon to get it removed and he made me feel like an idiot for even asking. Super condescending and didn't seem to understand why I would be self conscious about it. He could have said it in a positive reaffirming way, but he said it in a "you're wasting my time" way so I left. I still kind of want to get it removed but I'm not sure what to do.

Dreamer_Of_Time · 2020-07-06T14:57:07+00:00

In middle school, these two teen boys who I hardly knew called me tarantula legs. This was before my mom showed me how to shave my legs.

Ever since then, I am self conscious about my legs during the summer, when I have to shave them. Honestly never made the connection until reading this... Oof.

ShadowoftheGrimoire · 2020-07-06T14:45:37+00:00

When I was in fifth grade we were watching some video for class (I think it was some movie that the teacher just put on to shut us all up for an hour) and there was this part where one of the characters ends up all alone and crying. This male classmate pointed to the character on the screen and then announced to the entire class that I would end up like that character. All alone and unwanted.

Took me years to realize that was a blessing and not a curse, but it still hurts some times.

myousername · 2020-07-06T19:29:49+00:00

ITT: Countless women sharing stories about how seemingly "small" comments from men have left deep emotional scars, dimished our self esteem, and gave us body dysmorphia.

Male lurkers, probably: Smug about all the times they insulted women, feeling satisfied at the thought of "ruining" our self esteem, feeling powerful for taking us down a peg.

confused_desklamp · 2020-07-06T12:56:33+00:00

once wore a bikini bottom from my mom's closet (late 80s probably) in 2014 and the facebook comments from boys i didnt even know about my (covered in a high waisted, neon bottom that wasnt remotely cheeky as i was a child) ass mortified me. i don't wear bathing suits in front of guys i know who aren't my family anymore. heck, last year one of my good guy friends joined me at my apartment pool while we did schoolwork and i was standing in the pool behind a fountain feature reading to get color on the back of my legs when he waded over so i sat down. didn't want him looking or knowing.

radical__daphne · 2020-07-06T14:33:26+00:00

This and all the other abuse is why I'm anti dating for teen girls, especially for any girl under 15 or 16 years old. Too many men abuse and rape their first girlfriends. The worst stories of abuse I always hear are girls who got paired up at 13 or 14 with a guy, usually older, who abuses, rapes and grooms them for years. They never developed the ability to be independent and it makes it almost impossible for them to leave.

umbralgarden · 2020-07-06T14:38:50+00:00

I had giant spots of fluourosis on my two front teeth growing up (if you don't know it looks like butter is stuck on your teeth) and couldn't fix this until age 19, so I spent most of my life being asked by other kids in school "what's wrong with your teeth?"- and I had NO answer. I was very aware of teeth from a young age. I've had braces and crowns and bleaching since then, basically everything you could ever do to make teeth prettier, but I still hate them and still hate smiling. When people tell me I have nice teeth, I don't believe them, because even though they're 'straight' I still hate the shape of them, and compare them to people with a 'prettier' tooth angle and tooth shape. I'm obsessed with looking at other people's teeth and dissecting what makes them prettier than mine. That probably sounds dumb and privileged but I'll always hate them lol.

RedditRabbitt · 2020-07-06T15:09:05+00:00

My family used to call me a bugs bunny bc of my teeth. Sometimes when I get self conscious I say fuck that bc my smile is my most complimented feature :)

rinabean · 2020-07-06T14:59:54+00:00

I have two facial features I don't like. I remember as a teenager I was trying, pretty unsubtly, to hide one - and some boys thought I was trying to hide the other and made a mean comment about it. But it had never actually occurred to me to dislike the other until then.

The last time I thought of this, I remembered which was the one I'd had no problem with until then. Now I don't. All I can remember is always hating both, as if they're so objectively ugly I would have had to, even though I know it's not true.

Neither of those boys was my boyfriend or even a friend. I didn't like them at all, and, frankly, they looked like gnomes. Isn't it crazy how a comment can stick with you despite all that?

Tyrienne · 2020-07-06T15:16:03+00:00

Mostly from family. I also used to model, however, to my estranged family I am a dead ringer for my abusive mother. It causes severe dysmorphia at times.

Also, my grandmother, who has never been thin, kept harping on my weight since I no longer look like a teenager for her to dress up like a doll any longer.

I am 38 and it's funny how one negative comment can erase a hundred positive ones in my psyche.

I'm working on it.

redfarmmmmm · 2020-07-06T15:10:27+00:00

My ex did this and i started mirroring him. Before you leave your guy, if he does this make sure you do the same thing so he suffers trauma from you. After this, whenever guy nags, i make sure i do the same thing.

yellowxmellow · 2020-07-06T15:21:07+00:00

Yup. The guy I lost my virginity to. Not sure if this was said before or after I lost it to him, but he told me “you have a nice body, but it would look even better if you worked out” and throughout the relationship he would send a few workout videos he saw on Instagram.

Have always been insecure about my body since then. I was before, but definitely not as much as I have been for these past 3 years. It shouldn’t matter because he was a disgusting LVM. I am always embarrassed to tell others I dated him, so I try my best not to.

A month ago I told him off because he super liked me on tinder and was swiping up on my snapchat stories with heart eyes. Basically I told him I don’t want to be friends with him, nor date him ever again. And that him super liking me on tinder made me uncomfortable. He didn’t respond, just simply deleted me from snapchat.

likejackandsally · 2020-07-06T17:19:49+00:00

So many terrible comments.

I was made fun of well into adulthood by both men and women for the gap in my teeth. Didn’t really bother me, but I got braces anyway so I could look more professional.

I had one guy I was barely friends with in high school tell me I wasn’t ugly, but I wasn’t anything worth looking at either. I was plain and there was nothing special about me. I’m still trying to learn to love myself but that particular conversation comes back to me on occasion.

My first serious boyfriend told me that I was trash and I wasn’t going to make anything of myself. He was confident I was going to pop out a litter of kids and live off welfare. This is after he broke up with me. I make more money than him in the same industry.

People are mean. I’m almost 33 and the more I’m confronted with stuff like this, the less I give a shit about other people’s opinions of me. You’re never going to be perfect for everyone. You may not even be mostly okay for the majority of people. And that’s perfectly fine.

RavenWudgieRose · 2020-07-06T15:06:21+00:00

Damn, that is just frustrating. Another reason why so many women are so insecure. I guess that type of stuff even by mere casual remarks really sticks with you like a trauma. I've had my peers tell me when I was 13 that they want to swap their breasts with mine and openly tell me they want to do plastic surgery to make them big when they grow up... it was honestly fucked.

And there are boys whom I never even talked to telling me I became fat after a summer break. It was just fucking weird to me when they felt the need to say that like it's a quest to make girls specifically feel bad, to hog girls' attention which is such bullshit and it just made me unconsciously stay the fuck away from them and best reply it with silence like my momma said. So overall I luckily never cared, became fat(my parents are bakers, it's inevitable) until graduation and high school and naturally came to my own terms with the realization of what it truly means to love myself (besides not giving a fuck)... like having a healthy body.

enharmonia · 2020-07-06T16:25:42+00:00

I got a message on a dating app that said "Wow, you must love food". There is no mention of food/cooking/etc. anywhere on my profile so all I heard was "Hey fatty!"

Snoo32629 · 2020-07-06T16:24:49+00:00

When he came up close to my face and noticed that I grow some hair on it, he said "Are you participating in no shave november?". One of my biggest insecurities to this day.

xNayxNayx · 2020-07-06T16:40:36+00:00

One of my first boyfriends told me he didn’t mind my dark skin because I was pretty to make up for it. He was much lighter than me and everyone made it known that I “lucked out”.

jebemo · 2020-07-06T17:04:48+00:00

An ex that I dated on and off for 2 years, when I was 26 and he was 41, has told me on several occasions that I have "a fucked up chin and jaw", unprovoked and for no reason. I do have a small chin and an overbite, but am still attractive. It honestly didnt surprise or bother me too much. The dude was like 5'6" and 135 lbs, with his own glaring personal issues. I never talked poorly of his physical image and would never dream of harassing someone for something they can't change about themself.

LSATthrowaway23 · 2020-07-06T15:44:34+00:00

I have visible veins underneath my nostrils and always have. I didn’t care about them at all until a friend of mine said, in front of our entire high school lunch table, “ewwww why do you have veins under your nose?! That’s so gross!” So of course, every time I put on makeup I dab concealer over that spot to cover them up because I’m genuinely horrified that someone will look at them and think I’m disgusting for something over which I have no control whatsoever.

So yeah, teenage boys need to stfu.

onthechainwaxx · 2020-07-06T15:45:04+00:00

Oh yeah. When I was a teenager boys made fun of my small chest, my smile (I had braces), my hips/thighs/butt (it wasn’t in style back then), and who knows what else. My abusive ex also made me feel insecure about my thighs, my hobbies, personality, etc. I’m confident and love myself now but it was a journey to get here.

xHouse_of_Hornetsx · 2020-07-06T16:03:30+00:00

7th grade trip to a water park. I was wearing shorts and a 1 piece bathing suit. I walked by an obnoxious kid who was part of a group of boys who bullied me and he cat called me by making sexual YEEEEAH noises.

I have a lot of stories about how the boys in my grade body shamed me in middle school and how it still fucks me up to thos day but that story takes the cake.

hazelnutchai86646 · 2020-07-06T16:38:55+00:00

A guy I dated used to call me “azamat” which was the name of the short fat ugly guy from the movie Borat. He thought it was cute. He’s gone from my life now.

bumbletea215 · 2020-07-06T17:24:13+00:00

This is why I try to not think about anything guys say bc it always makes you feel like ggggaaaaaarbage even after they’re long gone

ishika_23 · 2020-07-06T17:24:24+00:00

I've been told I looked bad because of the acne scars that I've got on my cheeks. And that was coming from a guy who was a -20387392.

Needless to say, as I've grown older, I realised it's the attitude and some physical attributes when used correctly, can help attract the hottest HVM.

adventurelillypad · 2020-07-06T19:38:09+00:00

a super skinny guy I briefly dated called me thick multiple times, other guys have called me curvy... I'm 5'6" and ~125 lbs. I have an hourglass figure I know it was meant as a compliment but like... I haven't been able to get it out of my head since, and it was over a year ago :/ I just don't think it's appropriate to talk about someone's weight like that, and thick or curvy isn't a compliment to everyone...

wish_i_wasntavampire · 2020-07-06T17:26:07+00:00

A very, very NVM I've been with told me that, I, in fact, am not pretty, it just seems like it because everyone wants to fuck me since I have a great body, but I'm actually not pretty.

It has stuck with me tbh

splendiferousmeatbol · 2020-07-06T17:48:24+00:00

Yes, only the insecurities were there before I even started dating thanks to my dad. I’ve never been “petite” or think but I’ve always been very athletic and within a healthy weight range. I cannot have a conversation with him without him bringing up my weight under the guise of concern. This has happened since I was about 8 and he started obsessively monitoring my food intake. I was 8. It’s harder to shake this criticism because his medical degree makes it seem more legitimate. I’m 5’10, size 8-10 and in my early 20s. I also struggled with acne that he called “disfiguring”. Over the past several years I’ve gained a lot of confidence and learned to love and appreciate my body and self but his comments are still like an annoying fly in the corner of the room at times. In conclusion, be kind to your kids, it’s better to have a slightly chubby/acne prone kid than an anxiety riddled, insecure mess of a kid.

charizardine · 2020-07-06T18:41:21+00:00

A classmate didn't stop telling me that my hands were so big and called me "boxer hands" the whole year.

My dad and my cousin told me i had "sausage fingers".

As a teenager i gained a few pounds, but i never was really overweight. My mother told me once "it's good you're getting fat so you'll leave the house not much".

An ex told me while showering he was disgusted by a visible vain on my breasts.

I was homeless as an older teenager. A man i didn't know told me on the street: "you'd be a beautiful girl if you would have done your nails. Seriously, that's ugly." I just cut them short.

A male friend talked with others literally behind my back about women and bodies. I wasn't part of the talk but sat beneath them. He took my body as a negative example saying "her body type is what i hate, they get fat if they age. I prefer thinner."

I have vitiligo. Not that much, just a few spots on my lower stomach. I once said jokingly to a ex bf it would be interesting to be at a porn set once. He went serious and said "dont mind, nobody would ever want to see your white spots."

I was a bartender for a few years. One time I ate a few peanuts at a 10 hour shift. A customer saw it and said: "you have the predisposition to gain weight easily, i can see eat. Stop eating peanuts, they're high in fat."

.. i could write a book.

moshfox · 2020-07-06T16:23:51+00:00

So many of these... the usual, “you’d be perfect if... your eyes were bluer (huh?!), or lost 20 lbs, etc.” And always from brain donors who were balding/overweight/missing teeth/unemployed/living with Mom/LVM employee of the year wearing skid-marked underwear so full of holes held together by the outworn strained elastic waistband just begging to be relieved of its beer belly upholding duties. Insert strenuous eyeroll.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-07-06T18:05:55+00:00

My abusive POS high school bf told me that I "wouldn't be a good laywer because I am non-confrontational" despite his emotional abuse being the reasons why I never spoke up, but now I am a sassy young professional with 2 graduate degrees that is known for my direct yet compassionate way of leading in my career. Now I am KNOWN for being confrontational and valued for it professionally! The next step is getting there on a personal level because that annoying little neg had me SO INSECURE until I realized I was giving it power over me and I choose to no longer let it define me and SPEAK MY TRUTH.

I am not going to "shut off" being confrontational in my personal life when it's given me so many blessings and respect professionally ANYMORE because that's disrespecting myself. They should be consistent in both areas of my life now. I choose this.

themdaddylonglegs · 2020-07-06T18:19:33+00:00

Sorry this is long: I had my first bf all through middle school. He was a childhood friend since kindergarten and we used to play together with other kids down the street. Overtime our friendship blossomed into a crush, dating, full blown relationship, etc. I guess you could have called him one of the popular boys as he had a bunch of friends and ALL the girls were into him. But we were such a small class that everyone interacted with each other on the daily. To me, he was one of my best friends.

Anywho, in 8th grade, we were talking on the phone after school when he sounded distant. Apparently, that day after saying bye to me and getting in his dad's car, his father decided to have a heart to heart with him. As graduation loomed, he encouraged his son to date in high school. Encouraged him to broaden his horizons--specifically, "no fat chicks" was the phrase I remember him saying. He followed that up by saying his dad was full of shit and thought I was beautiful. Being 5'1" and a tomboy growing up, I had never really flaunted myself, especially at that age. I have always had a thicker athletic build since I had played sports since 2nd grade and was even in a backpacking program for young girl scouts. Up until that point with those words (from an adult, mind you), I had always seen myself as strong, capable, and confident.

After graduation, needless to say, we broke up. In high school, he ended up dating almost every girl who had pursued him in middle school. I dated no one until college. I have continued to pursue an active lifestyle. But to this day, even when I was at my thinnest, there is this constant voice the rings everytime I look at myself in the mirror that says "fat chick".

crlnabluprncss · 2020-07-06T18:38:30+00:00

First serious adult relationship, my boyfriend told me my stomach could “use some work.” This was a decade ago. I still don’t take my shirt completely off during sex.

parleparsimony · 2020-07-06T18:43:40+00:00

My first boyfriend, a 30yo manchild (I was 19 btw, didn't know any better) told me that I had ugly skin and it turned him off. I have a skin condition and sometimes my skin can be little flaky, I never was insecure until this scrote pointed it out. Took me some time to get over itm He was a pornsick imbecile who couldn't get it up and led me to believe it was my fault. The scrotacity of this bald, obese, wrinkled- ball sack looking dude was astounding.

Ladies, any guy who makes such comments is a toxic POS.

level_up_always · 2020-07-06T19:05:47+00:00

my former pickme frenemy said to my bf once 'look how big her legs are' he was like 'i know i love them so hot' lmaoo. whatever you don't like about yourself (it's something i've been insecure about in the past and this girl loves to be skinnny as a status thing) is going to be someone else's favorite feature about you

shakethat_milkshake · 2020-07-06T19:24:37+00:00

Yes. I was 21 and he said “I’m just not sexually attracted to you” because I was too young and inexperienced. He was 10+ years older than me and a master of praising the same qualities in me that he would later go on hateful tirades about. Satan works hard but narcissists work harder.

incendio1897 · 2020-07-06T20:20:03+00:00

When I was 18, I video chatted with some guy I met online. I tucked my hair behind my ears and he was completely disgusted and told me I had „really ugly giant ears“. Dude looked like Gollum himself. I never even considered that, my ears seemed totally normal to me until his comment. It took me 12 years until I finally had the courage to wear my hair in a bun again. I always had long hair and it was horrible to not be able to put it away during the summer, but being umcomfortable seemed better than unsettling people with my monster ears. Whenever I was brave enough to wear a ponytail, I would carefully pull out the front pieces to cover my ears. It really hurt my self esteem, fuck him and fuck all men saying shit like this.

childish-penguino · 2020-07-06T15:48:46+00:00

My last serious boyfriend stopped trying completely with me. We moved to the city and now he just wasn’t in the mood and couldn’t bring himself to be naturally romantic. I’d tried so hard to have conversations about it and see what was going wrong in our relationship. He kept saying he doesn’t know what changed. Eventually he said he didn’t like how I tasted down there and I’m not a person that is sexy.

I found out years later he was cheating on me. But that hasn’t stopped me from being apprehensive about getting head and being too nervous to enjoy it when I do allow it. And it also didn’t help my self esteem at all as I never considered myself that cute to begin with. Que a 2 year hoe phase where I was seeking male affirmations and acceptance.

Now I’ve finally accepted myself and now that I’m loving myself I’m putting in the right effort to grow in ways I love. I now know I’m cute as hell and definitely have sex appeal, especially depending on the outfit. Men have offered me trips and to pay bills and I get asked out a lot. And that guy is now an alcoholic marine. But his comments still come back from time to time, especially in my insecure moments.

19T4p685327y35465768 · 2020-07-06T15:52:07+00:00

a boy told me i was fat. so now everytime i look in the mirror i get bothered about how other boys might be seeing me. my friends tell me im not fat and tbh before his comment i never saw myself as fat.

and he has the audacity to call me fat when hes really... like.. well... ugly. the audacity really.

Pingu_Pig · 2020-07-06T17:10:22+00:00

When I was 10/11, I liked this guy and he told me in my face that I am ugly and he felt he was the most unlucky person because I liked him.

That honestly stunned my self-esteem which I still kinda don’t have sometimes even these days.

Verity_Mack · 2020-07-06T17:19:23+00:00

I had a growth spurt when I was 9 and got my first stretch marks on my legs (no I wasn't fat just got quite tall). My mother freaked out so much that I've never managed to feel comfortable about my legs since. I hate wearing shorts to this day. I'm 26. It's not only teenage boys that f us up with their big mouths 😂

justfreakingoutabit · 2020-07-06T17:30:30+00:00

Yes! First bf: ‘you know, I love how your vagina looks, but my friends and brothers would all think there’s too much hanging out’ ugh. I still think my vagina is ugly sometimes, and what was he trying to do? Get 18yo me to think 28yo him was just soooo benevolent to my ugly vag? GTFO, I have a beautiful full vagina and it took years to fall in love with it bc of that one douche comment.

_rainbowsprinkles_ · 2020-07-06T18:08:05+00:00

This but about things I like! Like makeup, my music, my clothes- he hated everything I loved. I think it’s because he was mad I didn’t like him as much as I liked all my hobbies and interests. But now I always think about how “stupid” everything I like is. It’s really hard to enjoy stuff without thinking all the things he would say to insult it.

featherflowers · 2020-07-06T18:20:29+00:00

"You're beautiful but if you just lost like, ten pounds and tightened everything up you'd be HOT!" - guy that took my virginity (hate saying that phrase but it makes the point)

Nachotype13 · 2020-07-06T18:22:05+00:00

I had my 31 year old ex constantly pinch my ass or my stomach roll when I’d sit on the couch and call me his “BBW”. Anyways I developed an eating disorder when I broke up with him and I was never even overweight. His comments still bother me.

toast4breakfast · 2020-07-06T18:29:39+00:00

Yep, first boyfriend told me I have ugly feet. Fast forward to other boyfriends, they’ve all said I have beautiful feet. Eye roll. My best friend has also been told recently that she has a saggy stomach by a guy she was newly dating. Wtf gives them the idea that they can confidently put us down?!

DudeQueen · 2020-07-06T18:46:57+00:00

A boy in sixth grade told me that wearing yellow made me look "like a big lemon." An older male classmate in high school told me that wearing jeans and a t-shirt made me have an "inner tube" of fat. I don't wear yellow (I decided it "wasn't" my color) and I think about the "inner tube" comment sometimes when I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt and having an emotional off day.

yordokat · 2020-07-06T18:55:04+00:00

Had a thing with a guy my second year of uni. After a month or so of flirting we were in my room ~getting steamy~ when he took my shirt off.

He sees my boobs and goes "ah don't worry I like them not too big."

Yeah that closed the chapter of that book.

TheSatanicVegan · 2020-07-06T19:12:28+00:00

I lost some weight when I was younger and going to the beach area with the Fam. I wanted to wear a jumpsuit and my mother basically told me how I'm too fat. I thought I looked cute and said that my bf (at the time) said I looked ok. My mother told me that my bf only said those things to me nice to me because he's my bf ans that I should worry about what other men think.

Years later I gained over 50 lbs and guess what? YEAH, I'M FAT

I now weigh almost as much as I did back then when my mother made that comment. She buys me clothes for me to fit in when I lose even more weight.

I feel like I'll forever be in a cycle of not wearing clothes that make me happy, but "when I get to X size, then I can wear what I want and not have to worrh about what others think/think of me being more attractive."

kmblue · 2020-07-06T19:13:54+00:00

I always got called thunder thighs by the first boy I had a crush on. I still have a love/hate relationship with my thick thighs but fuck him.

miaxbun · 2020-07-06T19:33:06+00:00

Ex said I had a flat butt and wished I would do some squats. Told him if he thought my butt was flat, then he should keep his hands off. He retorted with, "nooo, I like it. I just wish you would do more squats". Fuck him, my butt looks nice

Another ex said that my face was "round like the moon" and he thought it made me look cute. This was even after telling him I was trying to lose weight

Ayers17 · 2020-07-06T19:40:34+00:00

An ex once made an oinking sound directed at me because I took a couple of Oreos from the cupboard after dinner one night. The only thing that made this incident worse than it already was is that he was fully aware of my history with eating disorders yet he couldn’t figure out why I got upset.

tulipiscute · 2020-07-06T19:59:04+00:00

Yeah, I walked to & from the bathroom at a restaurant when I was dating my first boyfriend and he said I looked really “womanly”. I was 16. Still traumatized

gh3891 · 2020-07-06T20:03:39+00:00

Ditto. I was told I had thunder thighs as a teenager by a similar aged female who was super tall, slender with model legs. I wore size 2 pants at that time. It has stuck with me and I don’t wear shorts now as an adult in my 30s.

Danbut15 · 2020-07-06T20:15:25+00:00

Back in high school, I was at my lightest. I am a curvy woman and at that point in time is when I was just first starting to get my hips. I went from a size 00 to a size 5, this guy I started seeing mentioned how he liked thicker girls anyway. Since that day I always think back about it and remember when I was at my thinnest I still was too fucking fat for this fuck boi. No we didn’t last, and he’s become a bum since then.

PineTreePerson · 2020-07-06T20:19:08+00:00

First bf told me I was perfect except my butt could be a bit bigger. Insecure for life 🙃

hio_world_im_bored · 2020-07-06T20:27:50+00:00

I used to be really chubby from till I was 12 and I think I was ten when my family started calling me jolly ol' chubs ( because I have anger issues and something about I can't be angry if I am chubby.). Now I do sports and lost a ton of the weight and I have like 5 more pounds to lose and I will get a flat stomach. Anyway I still see myself as that little chubby child and it kind of surprises me when I see myself in the mirror and I look way different. My family still laughs about it and one of them told me the other day "I don't know why you talk like that. You have a body people would pay for.". :/

skyerippa · 2020-07-07T07:18:48+00:00

My ex walked up to me and grabbed my boobs and pushed them together (wasn’t wearing a bra) and said “you would be so hot if you had cleavage like this” basically saying I should get my boobs done ....

Pretty sure he only said that because the girl he was cheating with had cleavage like that. It’s fucking me up

sfshia · 2020-07-07T09:06:34+00:00

My ex told me I had man hands, and that they were too rough. I work in a kitchen. Wtf am I supposed to do? Moisturize every 10 minutes??

pallta · 2020-07-07T11:38:48+00:00

Yup. My first boyfriend was exactly like that. Back-handed compliments about my weight, face, makeup, dress, anything.

Mimieuxmieux · 2020-07-06T12:37:42+00:00

When I was twelve my friend's older brother groped my butt and said it was "squishy." He said later that he'd meant it as a compliment but it seriously affected my self-esteem

S_pline · 2020-07-06T13:01:42+00:00

When I was about 10 girls in school began shaving their legs. Me, having Spanish genetics, was quite dark-haired. An obese boy in my class during sports stared down at my legs and said ‘you’re hairy’ (his mother was actually a famous supermodel, go figure). I probably shouldn’t have said ‘you’re fat’ but instead of being a depressing encounter it actually never fails to bring a smile to my face whenever I remember it.

DarkForestGirl · 2020-07-06T13:27:16+00:00

When I was 20, my boyfriend at the time whom was 22 had a friend whom we will say was 22 going on 36. Short, overweight , balding , over all generally in attractive spent all day smoking weed playing video games.

His gf was a goddess but that’s a story for another time.

Any who I meet him for the first time, and after I ask my bf what he thought of me.

His response your cute but you have a very big jaw. I spend the next 4 years obsessed with my jaw, even talked with a surgeon since I have a slight over bite.

The most offensive part was that a guy that looks like a complete troll had the audacity to comment on my appearance !

I thankfully got over it, but yeah fuck that guy.

blanchecatgirl · 2020-07-06T14:01:54+00:00

Not as bad as most of the other ones on here but my ex once called me a 7. Did I ask? No. I can’t remember what we were talking about but he said “I’m about a 6 but you’re about a 7.” I get that a five is average and a 7 is attractive but wtf who says that to a partner. Plus I’m hot. I have a good bod and did catalogue modeling as a teen. I am a 7 at the barest minimum but to a partner should always be a 10.

smart-tart23 · 2020-07-06T14:06:36+00:00

Newbie! My first boyfriend ever at 14 told me you’re perfect except for your stomach, it could be flat..... still can’t see what I really look like at 39 bc that phrase hits me with every thing I put on

chokeonchairs · 2020-07-06T14:28:16+00:00

I'll never forget being in 7th grade band class when a boy told me that my arms were super hairy and possibly hairier than his dad's. I didn't even know how to react to that because I didn't know that it mattered?? Needless to say, I wore jackets for the rest of 7th grade and all of 8th grade. It took me until Junior year of high school to finally get past the idea that people cared about how I looked and dressed. Also, every time I trim my nails, I remember a girl in my 6th grade gym class telling me that my nails were ugly because I just trimmed them all the way down instead of with shape. I still think about that seriously stupid comment every time I cut my nails. This is bull shit. Fuck middle school.

thatonekarissa · 2020-07-06T14:29:55+00:00

Not exactly the same but. My mom once told me about how my dad’s father (who is certifiably insane) told her that he didn’t think she was fat, she just had big bones. That sparked her still-continuing (almost 40 years of) body image issues and constant dieting, messing up, binging, dieting again.

The_Animal_Is_Bear · 2020-07-06T14:32:11+00:00

I was in my 20s when a guy told me I had “droopy boobs”. Take a guess how I feel about my boobs, especially now that I’m in my 40s. 🙄🖕🏼

emofather · 2020-07-06T14:41:15+00:00

My last boyfriend told me that he likes girls with my body type, he doesn't like when girls are really skinny. Im by no means overweight but idk why what he said really triggered me because i was like "i thought I was skinny"

We were together on and off for two years and I lost so much weight in that first year. I was the skinniest I've ever been after that. Then one day I looked in the mirror and realized I no longer had my booty. I didn't realize how skinny I had gotten.

Im not saying being skinny isn't a good thing, its just not me. I just am a little thicc, its what my mama gave me. I like looking at skinny girls but I am not meant to be skinny lol.

Anyway, I know my bf meant it as a compliment, he really loves my body type. But that just goes to show you how little other peoples opinion matters. Frigging John Mayer could tell me he loves my thicc booty but if my self esteem is poor that day, all i would hear is that im fat.

zepiphany4leaf · 2020-07-06T14:48:32+00:00

I have that exact issue except he called me 'thunder thighs'. I'm a really small person these days but can't ever feel like my thighs aren't big.

fairly_certain · 2020-07-06T14:56:43+00:00

My mom is 65 years old and will not TO THIS DAY wear shorts because some crappy kid (name withheld, but she remembers) told her in 1964 that she had "tree trunk legs."

overthealtar · 2020-07-06T15:21:48+00:00

See, I'm so starved for attention that I would have fully embraced that as a compliment.

I will just give one example: my most recent ex was mentally, psychologically, and emotionally abusive. On top of saying downright cruel comments about my body and my weight when he was drunk, he would go on and on about how attractive a woman on tv was. He would break down different aspects of their looks that made them so attractive. These weren't celebrities or actors, but usually something like CNN commentators or something. And they would, of course, look absolutely nothing like me.

My new rule is that if a new guy doesn't give me more compliments in our first time talking than my ex did in our entire time together, then he's not worth my time. It's a very very low bar, but it reminds me that I deserve so much more.

poppytartrate · 2020-07-06T15:43:51+00:00

The last guy I dated told me he could tell in my face that I’ve gained weight (compared to older pictures.) I see it in the mirror all the freaking time now.

Nevermind his insecurities with his own weight gain.

Thanks for the complex, John.

0gma · 2020-07-06T15:58:48+00:00

This lady pissed off Irish twitter recently by being pretty colonial and racist.

avaintuu · 2020-07-06T16:17:17+00:00

the first time a guy saw my boobs, he said, and i quote, “your nipples won’t always be puffy. once you’re done with puberty they’ll be flat.” i wasn’t even self conscious about it until then, and now, almost 6 years later, they’re still puffy and i’m still self conscious.

SootheMe · 2020-07-06T16:46:26+00:00

I had an ex boyfriend tell me “You’re not as pretty as you think you are” and that one still hits to this day.

completehogwash · 2020-07-06T16:50:46+00:00

Him: "You're a lot bigger than most girls I go for"

Me: "EXCUSE ME?" (context: I had just had a conversation with my doctor about me approaching underweight)

Him: "Well yeah you've got more of a gymnast body and I'm more into the ballerina type"

Me: Dumps him and proceeds to make healthy lifestyle choices to gain weight and push myself into a new level of fitness. I now train 5x a week on aerial silks.

Crofty_girl · 2020-07-06T17:05:02+00:00

I once dated a dude who said "I'm usually attracted to tall girls with blonde hair and blue eyes, but I like you" and "You could be a 6 but because I like your personality, you're an 8".

I already know I'm a 10, but I always worry that a guy isn't that attracted to me cause I'm tiny and a brunette since I always remember what that guy said and it's been 6 years...

Lebanese-Diva · 2020-07-06T17:05:42+00:00

In middle school, a boy that I had a HUGE crush on for several months told me that he wouldn’t date me because I had a big nose and he only dates blondes or Latinas, which I am not. Sometimes, I really want to get a nose job and I think it’s due to this.

EclecticEthic · 2020-07-06T17:10:53+00:00

Thick thighs save lives (source: I’m a proud thick thighed woman)

OccamsRazer · 2020-07-06T17:10:56+00:00

A girl laughed at me once because I'm so skinny. She said I looked like a skeleton. It hurt at the time and I became self conscious when going shirtless. I'm still skinny but now I'm ok with it.

onsinsandneedles · 2020-07-06T17:14:00+00:00

“I know I really love you because I can see past your stretch marks.” 20 years later I think about this comment weekly.

lnsewn12 · 2020-07-06T19:16:16+00:00

I’m 34 now and a few years ago (maybe 6-7?) I randomly ran into a guy I went to high school with and he goes “whoa you got BIG.”

I’m 5’7 and was probably about 130 lbs at the time.

Like what hell sorry dude I’m a grown ass woman sorry I didn’t maintain my teenage body

AconiteBlackbird · 2020-07-06T19:48:01+00:00

I've been told by my ex husband (when he was just a classmate) that my arms are chubby. I still feel insecure about it. He told me later than he was just teasing me, but I honestly told him that he should go fuck himself before opening his mouth.

TheOGJammies · 2020-07-06T20:11:30+00:00

[removed]

DunRuther · 2020-07-06T21:25:57+00:00

One guy called me vampire because of the shape of one of my teeth. I wasn’t a teenager then—I went 31 years being fine and happy with my smile and now the last few years I want to cover my mouth when I smile. Thankfully I have an appointment with the dentist for a crown.

CoyoteaParty · 2020-07-07T21:10:07+00:00

My step dad once sat me down and told asked me if I thought I was pretty. I said yes. He said why do you think that. I said that people told me. He said they might just be being nice. Then he said the only reason guys like me is that I have an odd personality that is interesting for a short time but then get old. I had just turned 16. That shit fucked me up for years.

_tinyimp · 2020-07-08T04:55:43+00:00

When I was 17 I found out that I was some random guy’s ‘third choice’ in a line of women to ask out to prom. Now I’m absolutely paranoid that I am not someone’s #1 option and need constant reassurance from whoever I’m dating. I’m a little more tactful with how I get this reassurance now rather than saying ‘I’m insecure comfort me!!!’ Maybe it benefits me though, because as soon as I find out that a guy who claims they’re interested in me is also interested in another woman in any way infuriates me. I know if a man likes me enough I would clearly be their only prospect.

Title	Amen! Anyone else got any similar stories?
Author	allthatjuicy
Upvotes	2257
Comments	239
Date	July 6, 2020 10:37 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/hm5ag6/amen_anyone_else_got_any_similar_stories/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/amen-anyone-else-got-any-similar-stories.705649 https://theredarchive.com/post/705649

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