who should pay for dates?most importantly why?

toasterchild · 2022-10-19T17:26:07+00:00

I personally like to take turns and it weeds out guys with fragile egos who can't handle a woman with money.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-19T17:11:20+00:00

I will go halvesies but if a man that I am into insists on paying for the date, I will happily accept and feel flattered and then offer to pay the tip or buy after dinner drinks or dessert or something. With my husband he paid for our first date, I paid for the 2nd, and so on and so forth until we die probably.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-19T17:14:02+00:00

Don’t date anymore but, I don’t accept free drinks at bars because I don’t like

the implication

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-19T17:11:34+00:00

Payment should be split however people want. Why? Because it's their business.

wintergreen233 · 2022-10-19T17:23:10+00:00

For myself personally, I’m a firm believer that the first date or two at least should be separate cheques. (If we’re just getting drinks at a bar we can just alternate buying arounds.) After that, if we continue dating and want to treat each other, we can trade off, I’m happy to pick up the first tab and he can get the next.

Personally, I am absolutely against men paying for all dates. I don’t think it’s fair to men, and I don’t like the dynamic it introduces.

Other people can do whatever they want.

cloudydays84 · 2022-10-19T17:23:05+00:00

I think both parties should be willing to pay early on. Or you work it out to whoever insisted the date pays.

But with that in mind, I'd say that guys should probably go in with the expectation that they are likely going to be the one to pay on the first date, and should plan around that accordingly.

It saves a lot of hassle, and worst case scenario you're doing what you've already planned to do. Or best case she insists to pay and you're pleasantly surprised.

bunnakay · 2022-10-19T17:22:19+00:00

I always pay for myself. If a guy gets pushy about paying, I won't date him again. I've dealt with enough men who seem to think they're paying for my time.

DRliveseyyy · 2022-10-19T20:41:31+00:00

If you are just dating, split the bill.

If you are in a relationship, change it up, one pays this day and the other the other day

-KiNG-WaVy- · 2022-10-19T20:39:49+00:00

Women. Women should pay

wtknight · 2022-10-19T17:11:15+00:00

Whoever asks out the other person should initially pay.

After that, if the couple makes about the same amount of money, they should split dates.

If one person makes much more money than the other, that person should pay.

Those are the rules that I’ve dated by.

CimZim · 2022-10-19T17:13:09+00:00

I like to pay because it shows that I care about him and am willing to be financially supportive. That and it makes some guys very happy...and provides an easy filter for the ones who get pissed off.

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Siukslinis_acc · 2022-10-19T17:17:31+00:00

Depends on the length of the dating phase?

First dates? everyone should pay for what they ordered. This way there would be no guilt tripping (I paid for x, so you owe me one).

Later dates? I'd say be prepared to pay for what you used. But one could decide to also pay for the other (gender does not matter).

BlueMountainDace · 2022-10-19T17:24:42+00:00

If you ask someone out on a date, you should pay for the date. This obviously puts men as the people who are going to pay for the date, but if you're going to ask a stranger or even someone who you kind of know, to take time out of their life to do something, you can cover drinks or dinner.

Most of my relationships, especially once we started dating, we would switch off paying for dates. But in the beginning, since I'd ask them out, I'd pay. If they offered to pay, I appreciate that, but always decline.

saraimarsena · 2022-10-19T17:32:13+00:00

there is no real right or wrong, as long as it works for both parties. my boyfriend pays for most dates, or at least most of the bill. occasionally we split.

reason being, i do more of the chores and he makes more.

Sleepy_Mixtape · 2022-10-19T18:06:27+00:00

Whatever ppl are comfortable want to do.

Personally, if someone wanted to "take me on a date." I would probably think they're going to paying. Especially if they choose the place and planned everything. I would still come prepared and wouldn't be fussy about it if I realized they expected me to pay for what I got.

I would only be upset if they chose to take me to some expensive place and then expected me to pay way out of my budget. If it's just a coffee and chat or smthn, it's pretty trivial and I wouldn't rlly care who ended up paying.

Ultimately I think this is a non-issue and really down to preferences.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-10-19T19:01:53+00:00

I wouldn’t mind paying if I knew what I was getting out of it. I’ve been scammed in the past so that ship has sailed.

xzpw · 2022-10-19T19:08:26+00:00

50/50 should be standard. It should only change when another party is offering to pay more and that should not be expected.

For instance - I’ve gone on some trips with a gal who makes 1/10th what I do. (I make a lot) She offers to pay 50/50 or at least her part. I’m fine with that. Later - I’m like, look - I want to treat you and let’s go somewhere even nicer… so I pay for the flights, the hotels, the meals, everything. This is expensive - thousands of dollars. But I’m willing to front it because I enjoy her company and want to treat her.

She doesn’t have expectations and I don’t either from this.

Vegetable-Rub3418 · 2022-10-19T19:40:03+00:00

It should be split because men and women make the same amount of money

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-19T19:42:14+00:00

A large majority of both genders in the US think the first date should be a split bill or pay for oneself. Similar for the next few dates.

There is no consensus for who should pay after the first few dates but alternating is popular. When I have dated people who made a lot less money than I did I offered to pay for 2 out of 3 dates and I paid for more expensive vacations while they would pay for some of our more gourmet meal experiences there.

Most couples usually work out what's fair for them. My cousin is a stay at home parent but the kid is in school so she has a part time (couple of hours a day/four days a week) job. She pays for most of the groceries, her husband pays the mortgage and bills. She actually pays a higher percentage of her income toward food he eats than the percentage of income he gives to things that benefit her but she also works the garden, cleans the home, does a lot of the laundry (he pitches in on the weekends) and she does most of the house maintenance that doesn't require a licensed plumber or electrician.

Koipisces · 2022-10-19T18:17:06+00:00

I’d say the men first for the dinner, more because usually the man asks the woman out the first time around.

For me, if a man offers to pay, it shows he is really interested and isn’t worried “wasting money dating women” or something like that. Idk, in my experience the genuinely interested ones atleast offered. Also shows generosity and I really need that in a man. If I want the second date, I respond with “I’ll get the next one” or just thank them and get the next one. When I’m not interested or very unsure in meeting again, I do insist on splitting.

I’m Dutch, but I think offering to pay for another person is a way of showing you care for them and have enjoyed your time with them. In the dating phase, I also preference the taking turns on paying over splitting. And I don’t care if it’s equal down the penny.

Funny enough, the second dates are always more expensive because I pick the place I like and these are expensive but I don’t care really. I also have taken my friends and fam out too. I do need to state that I’m a high earner so I don’t have to watch my spendings too much.

With the guy I have been dating lately it’s been going pretty well with the taking turns and I paid our first drinks (maybe 800 yen each, fancy lattes) and he later paid dinner (like 1200 yen each).

I did went out with another guy a while ago and he stood up and went to the cashier and I thought he was going to pay, and because I wasn’t a 100% sure I told him “hey let me pay you”. He replied with “uhm I only paid for my own food”. Idk it was the biggest turn off ever because it felt like he had zero generosity and it felt cold. I have also given men who really insisted on paying and didn’t accept me to pay half the benefit of the doubt for second date if only to pay back for the first one. And I’ve had an ex that really refused me to ever pay because it was a pride thing for him. I don’t really date traditional Japanese men anymore because of the too many differences in mindset but that mind set is actually very common in Japan.

Japanese women also expect men to pay every time and I have had female friends telling me to date richer “better” men that can pay for good food dates and not pay for a man. Also, Japanese men will a 100% take you on expensive dinner dates while other foreigners or haafu guys usually go for coffee dates. I don’t really care about coffee date or dinner but this is such a huge difference I have noticed.

carritotaquito · 2022-10-19T18:25:33+00:00

The man must pay. From a divorce attorney.

PlayHardGoBroke · 2022-10-19T17:47:51+00:00

I always split and I don't think that has ever been poorly received by women, some girls even invited me. I'm sure I'm net positive in terms of money spent on dates.

I don't think inviting offers you any value as a man, more importantly why would I want someone going out with me just because I'm paying? I want her to do it because she truly enjoys my company.

Plus in my opinion, paying puts you in a losing position and makes you appear weak and needy.

AshookaNaga · 2022-10-19T17:07:59+00:00

Women demand 50/50 on domestic chores, so it seems fair that men demand 50/50 on dates.

Women have careers and don’t need a man, so why are they sticking to traditional gender roles that specifically benefit them?

Women constantly attack “toxic masculinity”, one of the traits of it is financially controlling women, so it’s sexist to pay a woman any money on a date. It reduces her to a prostitute.

TauregPrince · 2022-10-19T22:36:38+00:00

My opinion is, if you have any problem paying for a date at any portion then you shouldn’t go on dates. Casual dates should be inexpensive, if you’re sweating over 25-60 dollars something’s wrong. What happened to dates being mutually fun activities?

It would help if the two people discussed this beforehand.

imagirlyouneverknew · 2022-10-19T17:20:19+00:00

A man because if I want to split it, I'll rather go with my sisters or friends or just order sushi and sit home and play some GTA haha. Why would I pay for the company of a man? If a man likes you enough he won't even think to suggest splitting.

If a man wants to split then fine, but he should not expect it to be a date, and should not expect me to dress up womanly, wear make-up, maybe heels, loose hair, me to act feminine. I'll just dress some jeans and sweater, wash my face and that's all preparation. And I will treat him like a male friend.

Perfect_Promise_943 · 2022-10-19T19:54:15+00:00

Men. Women have a harder life as it is. If we can make it even a little bit better by getting a free meal, then we should do it.

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-10-19T18:12:01+00:00

Men, because you are the man and a responsibility of your gender is to protect and provide for your partner. Whether that means paying the bill, or standing up to 12 men with machetes.

MarBitt · 2022-10-19T17:12:03+00:00

Both should be more than willing to pay. As you wrote, paying for a date is a privilege, a joy. As well as giving gifts, compliments, attention to each other. If they don't want to give any of that, they're probably just wasting their time on the date anyway.

If they find out the date was a mistake, then it's fine when the inviter pays or they both share the cost of the date.

jonascf · 2022-10-19T18:37:50+00:00

Each person pays for their own stuff. It's really that simple and there's no need to try making it more complicated.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-10-19T18:41:37+00:00

Try to get the girl to pay, to see her character. Cuz the usual traditional is the man, so see how she reacts and if she wants real equality

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-10-19T19:04:57+00:00

The man. So you get another date.

firefireburnburn · 2022-10-19T20:51:35+00:00

I always follow this rule: If you invite someone out, be them a friend, romantic interest, or anything, you expect to pay.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-10-19T22:07:49+00:00

This is old fashion but men should pay. The woman should offer. If the woman isn’t interested in him, then she should pay her half. If she initiates the date, men should still offer, but the womam should be prepared to pay or at least split.

This is just my opinion.

If a man took me on a date and expected me to pay, i would only pay my half and would never meet him again.

gymbro718NYC · 2022-10-19T19:01:25+00:00

Why do you feel under the gun to pay for dates? If you don't want to pay for dates or want low cost dates, then suggest a drink at most. What else is there? This sounds like a self created problem.

HeartKnifeEnjoyer · 2022-10-19T20:19:42+00:00

Men should pay

Why: To increase their chances

Why do they need to do that: Because modern "independent" women still need their secondary daddies, and free shit is free shit.

What if I don't want to do that: Find someone who is ready to split or be significantly higher value and assert that you won't pay.

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-19T17:22:43+00:00

I don’t think anyone should or shouldn’t, but it seems smart to me if the person who wants the date more pays. I’m more likely to say yes to a date if I don’t have to think about budgeting for it beforehand

tonyghow · 2022-10-19T17:29:10+00:00

Assuming no one is rich... Men should pay for modest non-dinner first dates. Then taking turns for second and subsequent dates.

Otjeho · 2022-10-19T17:34:30+00:00

The one that wants to

Catesa · 2022-10-19T18:59:50+00:00

There should be a difference between going on a date and taking someome on a date.

And I think that it depends on the relationship that people involved are aiming for, it allows to actually see how the other person reacts instead of what they say. If you are both aiming for traditional gender roles in a relationship then the man should pay. If you think equity or equality is the way to go then cost of dating should be shared.

It is a question of values. Be good (not always nice) to other people and have boundaries.

MistyMaisel · 2022-10-19T19:12:11+00:00

Should pay for dates? I don't see a should in any of this. Do what you want to do. The closest I can come to saying should is if someone said they would pay and then changed their mind and it is quite expensive. I can see someone should pay if it was heavily implied somehow they would. But otherwise there's no "should".

If you mean to ask what is probably most polite: whoever invited the other person out should pay until some sort of dating rhythm can be established.

If you mean first dates and what will lead to the best long-term outcomes for all parties: probably men.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-10-19T19:18:25+00:00

It depends. Dating in college, or dating men my own age, of course I'll split. But dating a 35yo man... I don't expect to pay. Culture matters too. Some men will get offended if you offer to pay

Captain-Stunning · 2022-10-19T19:38:21+00:00

Both should have the discussion before they go on the date. Getting this out of the way can weed out people who are already not compatible.

Oli_love90 · 2022-10-19T19:42:01+00:00

Part of me feels like it depends on how you met.

Online date first date? Eh halfsies, you don’t even know if you like the person. If the date was going well and he wants to pay, sure. If the date sucks and he wants to pay, nah.

Friends turned lovers? I feel like a guy would want to pay since it’s already been established you like the woman and you know her already.

On the flip side I always feel (and idk if this is true!) if a guy doesn’t offer to pay for me he doesn’t like me that much.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-19T19:45:32+00:00

(Deleted) Wrong post.

KayRay1994 · 2022-10-19T20:09:43+00:00

either split the bill or whoever planned the date should be paying

cuteTroublexo · 2022-10-19T20:18:24+00:00

Whoever wants to be the provider I guess. I haven't paid for a date since I was 18 years old. With my current bf our first date was the fair-- I drove and he paid for the tickets, ride wristbands, and food/beverages. I was shocked tbh because most men won't do that these days, shit the ride wristbands for the both of us was $120. I was like "are you sure?" and he said yea no problem. Maybe if a man isn't broke or struggling, he doesn't care as much. Seems like as long as I drive, which I don't mind, my man is good for paying. My car gets better gas mileage than his corvette. Although he has driven before and still paid for the restaurant. I guess it just depends on the man and his financial situation.

I did notice with men I dated in the past, who were younger, not stable, financially struggling, they took more issue with paying for dates, going out on dates in general.

neetykeeno · 2022-10-19T20:54:15+00:00

When two people do not know each other well enough that it is reasonable to have discussions about money, the person who planned the date and issued the invitation should accept they will have to pay. Maybe to be happy they need to not plan dates they can not easily afford?

When two people do know each other well enough that such a discussion is reasonable then the person who issues the invitation should pay ...or if they don't want to pay they should discuss it with the other person.

pro-frog · 2022-10-19T21:10:28+00:00

I think women should pay on a date because if both of us sit around waiting for a man to cover our check we'll be waiting all night!

Haha, but actually, I'm a firm believer in taking turns. It doesn't even have to be exactly 50/50. I'm pretty financially stable so I don't mind paying more often if that's how it ends up, but I would definitely get a little judgy if we've been out a few times and she's never reached for her wallet. Just a politeness thing.

Waratah888 · 2022-10-19T22:00:52+00:00

Take it in turns to pay unless income significantly different.

If first date was a flip, split the costs.

AurumAmethyst · 2022-10-19T23:49:46+00:00

It is up to couples to decide what works best for them based on their individual situations and desires in a relationship. My husband pays for 90-95 percent of everything because we follow traditional values, but for others they might believe in equality and want to do things 50-50.

Elegant-Historian961 · 2022-10-20T00:14:14+00:00

Personally, I(woman) always pay for the first date. The reason is that it sets the stage that I am a financially independent person and want to be treated as an equal and am also willing to contribute equally for the relationship and that I am invested equally and have not come to get a free meal.

One of my friends has a slightly unique opinion and I respect that as well. She says that as a woman, to prepare for a date, she needs to put on make up, etc which takes time, while the man doesn't have to invest so much time. Hence, her contribution to the date is the time and the man's should be with money.

supercreativenamelol · 2022-10-20T02:13:40+00:00

whoever makes more money

tired_hillbilly · 2022-10-20T06:02:36+00:00

Everyone should cover their own bill until there is commitment. Then, once there is, they can work out a different system if they want.

2022-10-20T14:51:19+00:00

Early on the person who asks pays. This applies to friends as well. If I ask my friend to lunch, I am paying for the lunch.

Later we can split. Even later, when we are in LTR, it really should be something more based on income. In my last relationship, I paid more often than not because I made substantially more, but if she really wanted something and requested it, then she would pay.

HOWEVER this really all depends on your socioeconomic status, I would say my general rules apply for upper middle class as that’s my perspective.

MC-Purp · 2022-10-20T16:56:23+00:00

I was taught, that who ever invites pays. But to always offer.

Generally I expect to pay, but don’t fight if she would like to chip in, or take care of it.

Bad_texter · 2022-10-21T15:58:44+00:00

It really depends. What kind of person are you? Whag kind of relationship do you seek? Traditional with a wife who will become a sahm? Man pays

More modern society? Where you for sure pull your weight at home? (Which I ancedotally find even the men who aim for 50:50 don’t pull their full weight). Then it can either be who asked or split.

Personally, (i’m a woman), if i am interested in him, i’ll let him pay, and i will follow up with “thanks for dinner, next one is on me”. If i have no intention of ever seeing him again, i’ll probably split so he doesn’t feel used.

Light-Gaia_ · 2022-12-28T15:53:53+00:00

Whoever asks you out should pay. If money is tight then don't ask or be a man and just tell her beforehand you can't pay before you meet up with her. You don't get to waste a persons time like that because the only person who owes you her time is your mother.

Background-World-484 · 2022-10-19T20:49:10+00:00

For the 1st date, regardless of sex, whomever ask for the date should be ready to pay for the date. The same goes for friends, if I invite a new friend over for dinner, then I say "my treat".

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-10-19T18:04:27+00:00

men should pay because they are asking for someone's time. when i ask someone for their time, i pay.

its also a good practice because current forms of masculinity make men unable/uninterested in showing up emotionally or being affectionate in other ways, so 50/50 financially means women end up being neglected bc financially is the only way men show up at all.

wwwArchitect · 2022-10-19T18:34:28+00:00

Guy should almost always pay because of the general market price, and risk/reward of sex. Even if they make the same amount and the woman enjoys sex equally, it doesn’t make sense for the woman to have sex completely for “free” because she is bearing disproportionate risk, if not physically, then at least mentally. Therefore, the guy should pay a premium.

huhwhatokok · 2022-10-19T18:47:25+00:00

It depends. Contrary to popular belief, even Chad pays for dates. Now he pays for a different reason compared to beta billy. I know my Chad friends don’t mind taking a plate to dinner/drinks and paying if it expedited sex. Beta buxx needs to pay for dinner bc he needs to convince her.

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-19T19:29:57+00:00

The man. He is the provider and protector.

blockboii190 · 2022-10-19T20:06:11+00:00

If a man wants a woman to fall for him, he should pay. Women get off on being pursued, pulling out the calculator to split things fairly is going to land you in the friend zone or worse.

JDWhiz96 · 2022-10-19T17:32:33+00:00

Why don’t we address the fact that a lot of men enjoy paying because they expect something in return (sexual access) and like to have something to hold over the women’s head at the end of the night

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-19T18:17:23+00:00

I'm a firm believer that whoever asks for the date pays for the date, and I know there's going to be a lot of you dudes talking about "s0 bAsiCallY you're saying men pay for the date" sure fine I don't care, if all the women you're interested in are cool with going 50/50 off the bat good for you lol

06534956 · 2022-10-19T18:32:55+00:00

I’ve never paid for anything while on a date with a man. It’s just assumed that he will be paying.

It’s different for each person and each couple, but I still think that the man should be the one paying for dates. It’s chivalrous.

insultin_crayon · 2022-10-19T19:44:16+00:00

You make the invitation, you pay for the date. Easy.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2022-10-19T19:53:19+00:00

First date- the guy pays as he's usually the one that invites and it's a social norm where I'm from that the one who calls pays. If the woman is the one that invites him on a date, she should pay.

Second date- either the other person pays for both or they split, whatever works for them

After that, either alternating or going Dutch seems fair. No reason why one person should pay all the time.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-10-19T17:16:47+00:00

Usually the one who asks out, tho on the rare occasions when a woman wanted to, I always offered to pay unless they insisted.

BruddaMSK · 2022-10-19T18:03:44+00:00

Man by default. Because of social norms.
More generalized, the one who asks the other person out, but hey we know who asks whom out 99% of the time
Or whatever both agree on.

I've been in the split the bill situation and I felt humiliated and emasculated, thought everyone around is looking thinking I am greedy and poor. Would prefer to spend some money rather than experience this.
(whoever says I shouldn't care about thoughts of random people, grow up, we live in a society and yes situations where you look bad or belittled are unpleasant for any half normal person)

M3taBuster · 2022-10-19T18:41:03+00:00

I would be perfectly fine with men being expected to pay for dates if we could still enjoy a reasonable expectation of our partners holding up their end of the deal with traditional feminine gender roles in relationships. But by and large, that is no longer on offer. So each person paying their own way on dates should be the default expectation.

That said, if I went on a date with a woman who I had already known for a long time and I knew she was a traditional woman, or if I was dating a woman I didn't already know, and I later found out she was traditional after getting to know her, I would be more than happy to pay for all subsequent dates.

ViolentTakeByForce · 2022-10-19T19:03:35+00:00

I think men should pay but women shouldn’t date men they don’t plan on fucking. Doesn’t mean they have to fuck but there are too many women looking for a free meal.

oyxyjuon · 2022-10-19T19:54:38+00:00

it depends...

am i dating a modern independent wahmen, or a potential waifu?

No_Fan6078 · 2022-10-19T20:09:24+00:00

whom invited should pay

DumpApe135 · 2022-10-19T20:24:17+00:00

I would say you split it or do something small for the first date like coffee and than you pay(as a guy). It is not a good idea to take a girl on a dinner date right away since it will probably be awkward and things like the movies don't allow enough room for interaction which is why something small first is always good.

I'll also post this here as an edit but the reason the majority of women still support men paying for a date even if traditional dating is no longer around is that groups tend to resist social change that does not benefit their group, so I am actually more in support of going dutch in all cases since that is more equalitarian.

NJFlowerchild · 2022-10-19T21:11:38+00:00

I pay when I invite people out. It doesn't matter if that's a date, friends, or family. I always split the check when someone else took me out, but I do feel that if you're asking someone out and deciding on the plans on your own then you should be paying. Discuss a budget if you want to split.

Ramzabeo · 2022-10-19T21:22:41+00:00

Hmm when i was dating id do split, but to be honest when i was really interested id pay for the first date.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-19T21:50:11+00:00

The person who asks should at least offer to pay on the first date. I wouldn’t even ask a friend out somewhere without being prepared to pay. Now if the other person offers to split it, it’s really up to you if you insist or let them. Some reading of body language and voice tone is necessary here, to tell if they are just politely offering or if they really would feel more comfortable paying for themselves. Some people are more traditional than others and think the man should always pay, others are more progressive, and imo if it’s that big a point of contention you’re probably not compatible. Unfortunately most social situations don’t have universal answers and being able to “read the room” is valuable.

holoworld3 · 2022-10-19T22:08:56+00:00

If it is a complete blind date from a dating app I’m happy to split the bill. Usually in these situations it’s just a drink or two or coffee so it’s not that big of a deal either way. I’m a woman btw. If a guy likes a girl and is asking her out specifically on a date I think he should pay. It also doesn’t have to be an expensive date in my opinion but the girl is basically taking time out of her day to consider you as an option so she shouldn’t be expected to pay for that. However once in a relationship I think it could be split sort of according to who makes more money or who wants to do the activities. I’ve dated guys who had less money than me and I would sometimes pay for us to go out to dinner because I wanted to do that and they wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t wanted to. But I’ve also dated guys with a lot more money than me who were always inviting me out and paying the bill. For example I’m never going to accept going on the date if I know I have to contribute $100 at the end of it. So I understand both sides to it. If I had to choose I’d have a slight preference for a guy with more money who pays all the time. I do think it’s a very attractive quality that makes you feel like they want to take care of you.

Just-Pie-5579 · 2022-10-19T22:58:14+00:00

I would go 50/50, but I'm also not the one to offer sex or commitment easily. If a guy makes no contribution into me, than im not letting him "ruin" me or get a constant and exclusive membership ;0

Davegvg · 2022-10-19T23:20:52+00:00

Gender should play no role.

The person that asks should pay for the date. Why? They extended the invitation. It's up to them to pay.

If your date never offers to take you out it speaks leagues of their character.

Life_Level_6280 · 2022-10-20T00:20:00+00:00

I’m always of the opinion that the one who invites, should be the one willing to pay.

I always do the inviting and also to more upscale restaurants, so it would be weird to ask them to pay.

I will do it happily and its my way of saying I appreciate her time with me. If a women really insists on splitting I’m fine with that. I pay to make her feel good. If she doesn’t like me paying then the purpose is gone so I’m fine to split then.

Papplebeast · 2022-10-21T03:56:52+00:00

Wtf are you talking about? I (man) pay for my kids daycare.

I pay on dates because I'm transactional when it comes to relationships, but not the way most people think. I'm transactional against myself. I never allow myself to "owe" other people anything because then I'm worthless.

who should pay for dates?most importantly why?

Comments

And it takes a huge amount of effort to pull yourself out from under that and still, on some level, it never goes away, right?

Title	who should pay for dates?most importantly why?
Author	blockboii190
Upvotes	3
Comments	422
Date	October 19, 2022 5:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/y886od/who_should_pay_for_datesmost_importantly_why/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/who-should-pay-for-datesmost-importantly-why.1136440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136440