Why is asking for a paternity test a relationship ender?

No-Resource2745 · 2023-10-19T20:33:39+00:00

It’s far more than an accusation of cheating, you’re not just accusing them of lying to you, but to every single person in their lives. Especially in the case of a planned pregnancy when you’re tracking ovulation cycles, supplementing your nutrition to promote fertility, and in some cases going through a great amount of emotional strife trying to conceive. This is a project your working with your partner to achieve. By requesting a paternity test, you are accusing them of a much more vile fraud and deception far beyond just cheating.

AngeCruelle · 2023-10-19T17:39:51+00:00

Notice that all of your examples involve acting on suspicious behavior.

Paternity tests are generally frowned upon when there are no reasonable grounds to suspect infidelity.

dishonouronmycow · 2023-10-19T17:50:43+00:00

The more it’s discussed here the more I think it’s a better idea to talk about this before you have kids. For some women it’s not an issue, for other women it’s a betrayal of trust.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-10-19T17:52:20+00:00

There is the proportion of risk and sacrifice involved with a pregnancy. Y'all will never get it, but we can straight up die bringing a child into this world. Not to mention all the other things a woman's body goes through with pregnancy and labor (pain, irrevocable physical and mental changes, losing hair, teeth, sleep, gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, hyperemesis gravidarum, etc. and an 18 year commitment to a human being). These aren't conditions we take lightly and most of us have been conditioned since early girlhood to hate and fear these things from well meaning adults trying to dissuade us from an unplanned pregnancy.

So given how life altering pregnancy can be for us, for a husband to suddenly accuse his wife of a.) getting knocked up willy nilly by some rando despite her active effort to AVOID such a fate for most of her sexual life and then b.) having the moral bankruptcy turn around and try to pass the kid off as his is just...so unbelievably tone deaf and speaks to the emptiness of his foundational trust in the relationship.

Any accusation of cheating is met with umbrage. The bigger the accusation, the high the offense. Pregnancy is one of the most life altering things a woman can go through, so to accuse her infusing that life event with dishonesty is very very very offensive. Especially if she's never done anything to question her loyalty prior.

I think some women exaggerate the ease of which they'd seek out a divorce, but I will say a fundamental part of their marriage will die and it can never be recovered.

Barneysparky · 2023-10-19T21:20:20+00:00

If you are casually dating someone and they end up pregnant then a paternity test is advantageous.

If you are dating someone, you break up and get back together and the dates are iffy, a paternity test is smart

If you have a planned pregnancy with your wife/life partner and once she gives birth you decide to get a paternity test, you are for the streets.

It's that easy.

norihitodesuga · 2023-10-19T17:22:52+00:00

cheating and just having sex vs cheating and bringing a child into the world are two very different things. When there's kids involved it's not just fun and games anymore. It's children's lives at stake. That said, a man shouldn't be forced to raise children he didn't father. But asking why it's "different", lol it's obvious.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-19T17:39:44+00:00

It’s not just an accusation of cheating.

It’s an accusation of cheating, having unprotected sex within the same fertility window with both parties, lying about the child to their spouse, other children, both families, friends and the child itself etc. being willing to keep lying for life, preventing the child and the “real” father from knowing each other, potentially risking the child’s health through lack of accurate medical knowledge, being willing to “trick” the spouse into loving and supporting a child based on all of those lies with the very real possibility that the secret will come out and innocent lives will be destroyed.

So yeah, that’s a little more than “Why were you texting Ted from your bowling league?”…

MyLastBestChance · 2023-10-19T20:00:17+00:00

For all of the men arguing for paternity testing (even when there is no concrete reason to doubt the paternity of a child):

Great, let's have mandatory testing of all newborns.

First we need to assemble a single purpose DNA data base of ALL men and when a child is born, it's DNA is compared to the database so that the biological father is publicly identified every single time and, if it's not the husband, can be automatically assessed child support payments which will be auto-withdrawn from his paycheck / bank account etc. for the next 18-21 years depending on the state.

The biological father will be notified and offered the opportunity to apply for custody / visitation rights independent of his mandatory financial support.

All men's paternity status would be publicly available in the database so that women could also verify the paternity status of their partners or potential partners as well as his child support status and obligations and children could verify their paternity should they choose to.

This could likely all be paid for by the reduction in government support programs provided for children of deadbeat dads or where the father isn't identified or located under today's system.

Zero paternity fraud possible. All cheaters (male and female) who create children would be identified.

All men would know who their children are and are not and all children would know who both of their parents are.

All children would have a much better chance of receiving the financial support necessary to allow them to have their needs met without creating an undue burden on non-parent tax payers.

What do you say?

chalkandapples · 2023-10-19T17:44:31+00:00

I don't think asking for a paternity test is a divorce level thing, but that's just me. It IS an implied accusation of cheating, and you can't really get around that, which is why it's an uncomfortable topic to bring up. Different women have different tolerance levels for these kinds of accusations, some women would divorce if a man questions the relationship status of her and her male friends.

I would treat it as similar to him asking for, say my GPS history or a receipt to a place I said I was going to when I come back from meeting male friends at a cafe. This is something I would probably be very hurt about and would likely break up if I'm not married, but something I might considering working through if I'm married.

But I tend to give a bit more grace than normal accusations when it comes to paternity tests. Because I know men are not at an equal footing when it comes to parental certainty. As much as I would be hurt from an accusation like that, since parental uncertainty is something I would never have to face on the same level as men, it's better to be a bit more sympathetic towards things like that. It feels shitty to tell a guy it's not a big deal when I know I never have to deal with it.

I would still be hurt if my husband asked for a paternity test, but I'll probably just be sad for a couple of days and get over it. And expect him to be super nice for a while to make up for it. I like DNA kits though, so I'll probably get my kids tested pretty early on 23andme anyways.

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-10-19T21:12:34+00:00

I think it matters if there is an indication of cheating. Why jump straight to asking for a paternity test? Its usually because there is no indication of cheating and these men just convinced themselves that of course their wife doesn’t actually love them, yet is staying with him and wants to force him to raise someone else’s baby.

Ok-Coat7665 · 2023-10-19T20:08:13+00:00

Imagine if your wife still got STD tests just in case you cheated on her and gave her syphilis or HIV— when you are a loving, loyal husband who would never do that to her. Couples need to trust each other and have a positive view of each other for the relationship to work. If your spouse thinks you would betray her or him in such a horrible and unforgivable way, it’s fair to at least reconsider the relationship.

richard_golbes · 2023-10-19T17:57:41+00:00

Why don't these women also want to file for divorce if a man questions the relationship status of his wife and her "male friend"?

Because this encompasses a whole range of behaviors from stuff which merely is a bad look for someone in a relationship, to things like emotional affairs, to actual physical cheating.

Accusing a women of not only physical cheating but also lying and deceiving their partner about whether or not their kid is actually theirs is an accusation of truly deplorable behavior.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-10-19T18:29:11+00:00

I wouldn't immediately file for divorce, but I would want us to do counseling because I don't know how I'd go back to having a normal relationship with someone who insinuated that there was a reasonable enough chance that I not only cheated but tried to pass it someone else's kid as his. If my husband started accusing me of cheating whenever I went out with a guy friend, I'd want to do counseling as well.

If he couldn't get over his trust issues, then I don't see how anything other than divorce would be the answer here. Sorry, but I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I am fundamentally mistrusted and where I'd have to constantly prove I wasn't a cheating whore.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-10-19T17:44:04+00:00

My question is, why is an accusation of cheating by asking for a paternity test any different to any other accusation of cheating?

It's not different. But a random accusation of cheating is break up worthy.

And really, what's most annoying is this conversation is these intense stances from men who have never had a relationship, let alone a marriage.

Why are y'all so hard up for paternity tests for relationships with women that you don't even have?

You're talking big game about a scenario you've never even been in or anywhere close to it.

It's weird to obsess so much over a scenario where your future wife cheats on you, gets pregnant, and you feel the need to ask for a paternity test?

Like what in the made-up unhinged fantasies? JFC.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-10-19T18:40:41+00:00

Look, I don’t know either. I get why it’s insulting but the only way I could see going nuclear like that is if there were other problems in the marriage already and this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Divorce is a pain.

Edit to add: in the other examples you give, like questioning your wife’s close male friend you’ve basically explained why he might have a reason to be suspicious. Reasons a father might be suspicious of his child’s tire parentage:

it doesn’t look like him or looks suspiciously like someone else
the mother has some kind of history of cheating
you went to this guy for fertility treatments

Blanket-testing with no indication whatsoever that it might come up negative is kinda weird ngl.

Jambi1913 · 2023-10-19T20:45:24+00:00

If I have never given a man a reason to question my fidelity and he hasn’t been the type to show that sort of insecurity in it for the entirety of our relationship, then of course it’s offensive if he questions it if I get pregnant. Especially when it comes to having a baby - that is a much deeper sign of a lack of trust in me than being concerned my male friend might be more than that. Having a baby is a huge deal - a man who thinks I might lie about that clearly doesn’t have much faith in me or my character.

Communication is so important here. Telling me earlier in the relationship that he has trouble trusting anyone and would like a paternity test if I ever got pregnant, would give me a heads up and a better sense that it’s not so much a personal judgement against me as it is a reassurance he needs for his own peace of mind. Or having it just be part of standard medical/health testing takes all the possible offence out of it.

Paternity fraud is one of the worst things you could do to a man - a man who claims to know me and love me but believes I am capable of such a betrayal, really doesn’t know me at all. So being accused of cheating or being dishonest is a glaring sign of a dysfunctional relationship that is likely already on the rocks.

NothingOrAllLife · 2023-10-19T21:15:33+00:00

Yes, if my husband waited until I was pregnant to ask me to prove my fidelity to him I would divorce him. Why are you asking me NOW if I’m cheating? I am pregnant and your wife. If I didn’t want you I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant by another man and stayed, it’s not 1950.

Sillysheila · 2023-10-20T00:56:21+00:00

It’s not a relationship ender but I would be wondering why he asked. I don’t think I exhibit any obvious signs of an affair and let’s be honest. If you are asking for a paternity test in an LTR, it probably means you think someone’s having an affair.

I’m sure that paternity fraud happens. But I just don’t think it happens on a high enough scale with men in long term monogamous relationships with partners that don’t have any obvious signs of cheating that all men should be thinking immediately “it’s not my baby”.

ummizazi · 2023-10-20T01:04:00+00:00

If you’ve never been in a long term monogamous relationship this might not make sense to you. For the rest of us, if you’re with someone long term and you’re faithful it’s really obvious. I was married and it was obvious if I was ovulating based on how aggressively I pursued sex. It was also obvious to me that he was cheating because of how his sexual interest changed.

If my husband asked for a dna test he would have not only accused me of cheating, but accused me of unprotected sex while I was explicitly pursuing sex with him because I was ovulating. It would be more than a mistaken indiscretion, it would be him accusing me of lying about the foundation of our relationship.

To me, it would signal completely mistrust, and because I have never cheated, it would make me wonder about his fidelity.

When a person is cheating their behavior changes. If they are cheating and you accuse them it signals deep issues in the relationship. If you’re accusing people and you’re wrong it shows them you don’t trust them or know them. This is a deal breaker if you’re married

rosephase · 2023-10-19T17:47:10+00:00

Hopefully you don't get married to someone who is showing you that they do not trust you. Being questioned or accused of cheating over and over again is abuse.

mrs_seng · 2023-10-19T17:43:25+00:00

I am a married woman. If i have a child and my husband wants a paternity test, i would give him the test results with one hand and the divorce papers with the other.

I have no male friends, so he has no friendship to question.

I never did anything in our 15+ years of relationship to cast any shadow of a doubt upon my loyalty. We've been together through good days and bad days, including illness, deaths of our loved ones, poverty, losing our jobs, and many other situations.

We both WFH and spend 99% of our time together. Only times i leave without him is occasionally going to the store for 15 minutes, or leaving for a few hours with my parents. My closest girl friend is living in a different country and i have 2 more not so close girl friends that we meet a couple of times a year.

If he comes up with the idea of a paternity test, i would feel humiliated, feel that he doesn't trust me and our marriage will be over. No excuses. No reconciliation.

Safinated · 2023-10-19T19:04:07+00:00

I’d leave a guy who accused me of cheating when I didn’t

penndelnj · 2023-10-19T18:04:39+00:00

You are giving up total control of your body and permanently changing it for a guy who isn’t even sure you’re not cheating. Pregnancy is a rough time in a woman’s life. That’s why paternity tests get the reaction that they do.

Just do one behind her back. Pregnant women aren’t rational. Men used to be aware of this.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-10-19T18:12:30+00:00

This will sound a little weird, but why ask at all? Surely you can just gather the DNA yourself and send it off?

Have the results sent to the office or your parent's house?

Acaciduh · 2023-10-19T18:26:51+00:00

Because it is an accusation of cheating. There’s no other reason to need a paternity test. Having male friends or wearing sexy clothes doesn’t necessarily mean you think they are cheating/doing something wrong - maybe they are just a more conservative person regarding clothes, maybe they’ve gotten vibes from the male friend that they are questioning. These things don’t necessarily place negative connotations on the wife’s moral failings or that she’s doing anything wrong. However, these types of things, especially if they happen a lot, very well do lead to the relationship ending because it can signal lack of trust. Asking for a paternity test is different because they can only mean one thing - you think your wife cheated on you. And if your wife hasn’t cheated on you that’s a hell of an insult to her.

As I’ve said in the other thread though - there’s nothing stopping a man from just getting it done behind his wife back - then you’ve got your peace of mind and you didn’t accuse your wife who just birthed your child of cheating on you. I don’t know why that would be so difficult.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-10-19T18:50:24+00:00

It isn't? I'd generally think something was deeply wrong with a relationship if someone seriously accused the other of cheating? Why should an exception be made for paternity tests is my question.

crumblesnatch · 2023-10-19T18:15:09+00:00

You can get the test without accusing your partner of cheating. It's really easy.

"I'm concerned about genetic disorders that might run in our families. Let's get a test so we know what to expect."

Or even, "I just read an article about a baby getting switched in the hospital after birth - I know it's kind of silly and unlikely, but let's get a test so we know for sure it's our baby we're taking home."

Don't make an accusation of cheating and she won't feel accused. Easy.

But for some reason, a lot of guys feel the need to share their hurtful, baseless insecurities with the mother of their child, and explain they want a test because "no man can be sure" or whatever, instead of talking that shit out with a friend.

treatsforcats · 2023-10-19T22:15:41+00:00

What if you could ask a partner to take a DNA test to prove without doubt they had not cheated on you in the past - on at least one certain occasion?

Asking a partner to take a test to quell an idea of betrayal/insecruity/paranoia that someone may have would be magical

So, paternity tests are even more important because there is a child involved?

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-10-20T05:33:34+00:00

If my husband asked I would absolutely give him one, then leave.

If they were standard for the man to be on the birth very I would do one no problem

Relative_Bee8356 · 2023-10-19T20:53:54+00:00

It's not really different. They're both bad. Paternity fraud is a more serious accusation than garden-variety cheating, which is why it hits harder -- but yeah I'd dump someone who accused me of cheating over underwear too.

If you want a paternity test and you don't inform your partner of that desire before she gets pregnant you're a manipulative piece of shit, which is also solid grounds for divorce.

If you are someone who needs absolute proof that your partner is faithful to you in order to be comfortable in the relationship, you're a shitty partner. No one should date you and I certainly won't. If you find someone with the same brain disease and you're both comfortable living in relationship prison camp, good for you I guess but I don't believe your relationship is in any way "healthy."

Laniekea · 2023-10-19T21:11:00+00:00

Because she just risked her life to push your baby out of her vagina and you have the audacity to question her fidelity because you're hoping to dodge child support.

Novadina · 2023-10-19T22:12:01+00:00

My question is, why is an accusation of cheating by asking for a paternity test any different to any other accusation of cheating?

If my man accused me of cheating with zero reason to suspect that, I’d think he was cheating, or he was just too paranoid for me to be in a relationship with. Knowing he didn’t trust me would make it a relationship killer.

Why don't these women also want to file for divorce if a man questions the relationship status of his wife and her "male friend"?

If he actually accused me of fucking my friend with zero evidence of such a thing I would also be upset, and consider leaving him depending on the situation specifics. I will say that accusing me of having unprotected sex with the friend when we were trying for a baby, accusing me of planning to lie to everyone including the child itself about their own paternity, and being stupid enough to think it wouldn’t be found out with all the 23andme stuff people do (including me!), would be additional accusations on top of just cheating.

I’m not into paranoid or possessive or untrusting men. If it was my husband, who does trust me and has never once accused me of such a thing, I’d think he had a brain tumor. If I was dating someone I’d end the relationship at the first hint he didn’t like me hanging out with my male friends, that’s always been a deal breaker for me and I weeded out those guys early on.

If a man asks you, why are you wearing your favourite and sexy underwear to work, he is basically asking if you are wearing it for someone at work or someone you will meet after work, will you then file for divorce because he asked why are you wearing that underwear?

What??? If my man asked that I’d be assuming he was wondering if we were gonna be having sexy time after work! I certainly wouldn’t assume he was suggesting I was fucking someone at work, lol. Damn you guys are way too paranoid for me, any dude asking me this with that in mind would be done, yeah. I’m just not into guys like that.

If any partner ever questions if the other partner is cheating, should the accused partner then file for divorce just because there was an accusation of cheating?

I think accusing someone of cheating is a very lofty accusation, and has implications on the relationship almost as much as actually cheating. Personally I would want to be damn sure there was something up before I even considered accusing my husband. I would expect the same respect from him!

le_paso · 2023-10-19T23:06:36+00:00

I think women who have a problem with this are likely also ones who don't purchase insurance (car, home, etc), because they trust that worst case scenarios are extremely unlikely so it's unnecessary. That would make sense.

RedRum-My-Ego · 2023-10-19T18:52:04+00:00

Because its the only way to prove anything and chicks don’t like that. They need to be able to dissociate or create the truth in their heads to at make them happy with themselves. This challenge and the ability to get proof is so profound to the mental make up of women who are used to having ALL the power.

My wife told me the other day: “why aren’t paternity tests mandatory? Like only one person can prove it’s their child and the other just has to be forced with the what if? That’s fucked up”.

It’s is fucked up but the more you read here or any other pill sub you will find that people just don’t give a shit about the male experience or perspective. Even here, if you don’t find a way to justify your thoughts through and for the female perspective good fucking luck.

For those that want a source read every comment on every related sub. The ones that do well? Female perspective, those that don’t? You get the picture.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-19T18:47:40+00:00

If DNA tests have to be court ordered, then how come there have been cases where parents found out that there kids were not there's by accident? How does an accident Ike that occur if you need a court order?

lovestocomment · 2023-10-21T14:29:53+00:00

I don't see a reason to ask. Just go do it. It's guaranteed a woman knows that her child is hers. Not the case for men. Paternity tests should be free and mandatory at birth as far as I'm concerned.

Jtmx99 · 2023-10-19T20:09:54+00:00

It shouldn't be. People are too caught up in the magical concept of trust and believe that should dissolve wanting proof. You build trust by proof, or at least that's how I think it should be built. Not some arbitrary positive feelings you have about someone. That being said, if someone no longer wants to prove their trustworthiness, I begin to distrust them. And you shouldn't have a problem with another wanting to verify your trust. If you pass, it grows stronger and if you fail, well you're not trustworthy.

Asking for a paternity test isn't necessarily an accusation of cheating. It's verification of the truth (although women can cheat and still get impregnated by their partner). There are men out there who trusted their partners and end up raising kids who aren't theirs. What about them? Saying you want to split up over a paternity test pincers men into two options. Either men will quietly submit to raising a child that may not be theirs based off feelings, rather than proof or men will stick to wanting a paternity test and potentially lose a lifelong partner, that may not have cheated, because of irrational emotions taking precendence over the truth.

The best solution is to have mandatory paternity tests at every hospital. The father can reject the paternity test and sign the child's birth certificate but must also sign a document waiving the paternity test and should it be found that the child is not his, he must continue to care for the child. This would solve issues in paternity court. This would save issues with child support. This would help to expose toxic women and cheaters in men's lives. If this were implemented, the threat of exposure from pregnant cheaters could influence women to choose abortion, which would mean one less single mother and potentially fatherless child.

Lina-Inverse · 2023-10-20T02:44:19+00:00

Love all the responses here trying to shame men who want to ask for a paternity test.

Also there is no need for the guy to "ask" the mother for anything. The father can just go get a paternity test. If they are the legal parent of the child they don't need to ask the mother for permission to test the child's dna and they have every right to check if they are actually the childs father.

This is why you don't ask women for advice on serious relationship topics that only affects guys and that women cannot relate to. You'll get bullshit responses like this entire thread.

TheHandymanCan- · 2023-10-19T17:49:06+00:00

Guys you don’t need the woman’s consent to get a paternity test. You can just do it on the sly and not be offensive. All you need is a swab from the baby and a swab from you. Sure it’s more accurate with a swab from the mom too but it’s not required. When I have kids I’m getting one, 1000%.

AlysArria · 2023-10-19T23:08:30+00:00

It should not be. I dislike the mindset it is. For most, it's a trust issue, but everyone should live by "trust, but verify."

NarwhalsInTheLibrary · 2023-10-19T23:35:37+00:00

I'm not okay with any accusation of cheating. I'm not a cheater. I don't know if I'm immediately getting a divorce over it (I'm not married, but if I was, I mean). But there's a big problem if my SO thinks I'm cheating on him.

It might be slightly less bad if he is asking questions about my actual behavior. If I'm spending a lot of time with another man and my BF asks about that, at least it is based on something I am doing. There's still a problem but maybe I should consider what I've done to make him ask these questions. But if my BF/husband literally gets me pregnant and then accuses me of cheating, and I have never done anything to deserve that, I will definitely have a very big problem with him. Asking for a paternity test is not just asking what I'm doing after work every wednesday, it is an accusation. It also is a statement that he does not trust me at all because he thinks I would cheat and lie to multiple people. And it's a huge evil lie too.

And in that scenario, I am also extremely vulnerable because I am pregnant with this man's baby and this is the precise time when I need his support and to know we are a team. I would never have a baby with a man I don't trust, who doesn't trust me. So the need for a paternity test would be like pulling the rug out from under my entire life. One minute I'm starting a family with the man I love and trust, the next minute I'm doubting ALL of my choices and wondering if I've ruined my entire life.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-19T18:01:00+00:00

Imma be honest and this is from a neutral standpoint if you have nothing to hide why would you get offended by the request... Men don't have a lot of rights when it comes children and often are forced to pay for kids that aren't there's in a few states and it's starting to expand... So men wanna know.

DreaminInChocolate · 2023-10-19T17:22:29+00:00

I would leave a man for acting like that and I have no issue with paternity tests as long as it's brought up before kids.

baiser_vole · 2023-10-19T19:37:31+00:00

why is an accusation of cheating by asking for a paternity test any different to any other accusation of cheating?

There was a guy I dumped and he asked if I was seeing someone else when I dumped him. I felt a little bad about dumping him before, that accusation killed that feeling completely.

It is not different. If that's what he thinks of me, he wasn't dating me for me.

BadMuch2033 · 2023-10-19T22:47:47+00:00

You will not receive coherent responses that treat men and women equally.

ross71699 · 2023-10-19T22:48:47+00:00

Rules for thee and not for me

AdhesivenessLevel379 · 2023-10-19T22:57:50+00:00

Logically I understand why a man would want a paternity test but honestly I’d be deeply upset if I were pregnant/just had a kid and my partner said “can I check you haven’t fucked anyone else?” After I’ve spent 9 months carrying and birthing his kid.

Especially if I’ve never given him any reason to suspect cheating or that I’m stupid enough to get knocked up by someone else.

I’d agree to the paternity test, let him pay for it, probably have some serious thoughts about the future of our relationship. Couples therapy at the very least.

motion_lotion · 2023-10-20T06:50:33+00:00

Because women (and men too, we might be worse) cheat far more often than you think. In my small social circle, I'm the single guy while they're all married and I think I've fucked every wife except the 2 I don't find attractive. I would turn it down, but I'm not friends with and don't respect the guys they married. Same thing with vacation. I've met so many women on vacation where we fucked like rabbits, but everything was no pics, no social media, no last names, wedding ring tan lines, etc.

My best week ever -- and you can all pretend this never happened, I don't care -- I fucked 4 women in 1 week. What I don't tell most people is I was shut down like 10 times. Anyway, 3 outright admitted to having BFs at home. It was Lake Placid. And the 4th spent the last day cuddling with me. I woke up to a message scribbled on a box about how amazing the weekend was, but she couldn't risk her life she had built at home with her bf, she just wanted some fun and real sex. She signed it with a different name. We had originally planned to add each other on social media and she claimed to be single. So I was pretty let down when I found a fucking piece of cardboard saying not only is she in a relationship and we'll never see each other again, but she lied about her name.

Then at the same time, I went to Vegas with 8 guy friends and well yeah...a lot did things their wives would leave them for. One fucked someone who was BLATANTLY transgender, I'm talking linebacker shoulders, no hips and a masculine face with makeup. We kept asking whose dick was bigger and would just blush it get angry. I bought a pack of tampons to throw at him jokingly. His GTR is faster than my car though :/

MaleficentSun3923 · 2023-10-19T20:01:05+00:00

Because these emotional beings will have their trust broken beyond repair if you ask if they cheated.

They aren't autistic like you and me, son. They don't view it logically as a way to provide sound proof.

It ain't like that, son. Buckle up

ManzBearzPigzIzRealz · 2023-10-20T02:19:03+00:00

90% of the women that say they’d divorce are bullshitting. I’m supposed to believe you’re going to dump your partner (likely a husband), make yourself a single parent your kid come from a broken home, because the dad wanted to know what you inherently know…that the kids 100% his.

96tillinfinity___ · 2023-10-19T18:08:28+00:00

Pride and ego. If there is nothing to hide they will have no problem getting it

Earth-lover93 · 2023-10-19T17:23:54+00:00

Cause feminists https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/business/business-news/paternity-test-father-bioclinics-group-12399580

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NOTSM · 2023-10-19T18:09:14+00:00

It’s always an accusation of cheating and will be a relationship wonder for most women.

Which is why you should just get one done in secret if you’re really that worried about it

DesertShifter · 2023-10-19T18:17:59+00:00

Frame it right and you're fine. "Honey I want to do a 23andme test for the kids to find out what health risks they're at risk for in the future" then just also send in your own and there you go.

RevolutionaryFig929 · 2023-10-19T19:38:27+00:00

I think the test should just be made mandatory for every newborn child.

But ofc the state is not interested to have to pay money for the 2 to 5% of children, with the wrong namedfather

Bestialcreatures · 2023-10-20T05:43:38+00:00

Also the impression I gather from how this questions are phrased is the person doesn't really think they baby isn't his, or the wife has cheated.

Yet these certain men seemed to want to test her reaction is wrong, and in their mind the wrong reaction is having an outburst over being asked because it's hurtful and questions her character.

It's like the woman being questioned is not supposed to think or feel about her own well-being, only reassuring him.

statsfodder · 2023-10-20T09:03:03+00:00

Paternity test should just be a matter of course, like the other tests that are done when a baby born..

No accusations, it is just done.

Cotehill · 2023-10-20T18:04:21+00:00

The only people asking are those who have doubts already. It's not paranoia, it's not jealousy, it's something you are doing that is shady as shit.

And we know, of those who harbor doubts based on the personality and the actions of their girl, between 1 in 2 and 1 in 3 kids isn't theirs.

And there is evidence through the whole of time that women are great at lying, and great at denial. All that men want is absolute certainty about their kid.

And if they can get rid of their woman while having a kid, there can be nothing better. Children and legacy, but no woman please.

The joy is palpable.

So the general plan is that men should get with the best woman they can find, treat them really well, knock them up, and then ask for a paternity test and bounce. Winner!

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2023-10-20T20:20:55+00:00

I guess there is a big element of feeling this is peak ungratful behaviour, after said women pushed your child through her vagina. Like if you gave your best buddy a kidney, and then they lose 5$ and freak out and accuse you of stealing it.

calIras · 2023-10-20T21:25:10+00:00

Reproductive rights are not for men.

Title	Why is asking for a paternity test a relationship ender?
Author	ZeeMark17
Upvotes	25
Comments	305
Date	October 19, 2023 5:17 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17bobbo/why_is_asking_for_a_paternity_test_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-asking-for-a-paternity-test-a-relationship.1235655 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235655

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