Husband suggests she stop buying formula rather than get a job and cancel his $80+ a month subscriptions.

sleepysiri · 2021-11-12T01:08:23+00:00

Stuff like this depresses me to read

Invisiblescars_123 · 2021-11-12T01:14:54+00:00

Why is she still with him? He’s manipulative, useless around the house, isn’t financially stable from the looks of it, is unambitious…🤢

Platipus6 · 2021-11-12T01:19:40+00:00

I still do the majority of the work around the apartment

Fire the scrote.

Bleep_bloop5678 · 2021-11-12T01:37:39+00:00

Lol, I’ve been temporarily banned from the subreddit this is from for calling the guy a man child. Like huh? He’s not gonna see it.

NotMyRealName814 · 2021-11-12T02:08:26+00:00

I'd bet anyone 100 bucks that he has OnlyFans and porn subscriptions that she probably doesn't even know about. She needs to dump this stupid loser.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-11-12T01:32:45+00:00

Notice how when the situation is reversed men expect to relax every moment they're at home because they're the breadwinner? Yet here she's the bad guy. Like Rome, hypocrisy is forever

azulalalala · 2021-11-12T01:32:20+00:00

Wow on top of being a horrible human being who puts his entertainment above his children, he is also incapable of googling... Most shows can be found on online

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2021-11-12T01:36:10+00:00

Uh...correct me if I'm wrong but you can't just "go back" to breastfeeding once you've stopped. And for him to suggest she do so when she stopped for health reasons is just selfish.

He could easily just keep one or two subscriptions and be fine. Get a job, you lazy garbage pile!

ceramicunicorn · 2021-11-12T02:35:58+00:00

This would require a hell of a big Lawyer Up. Being unemployed and tempestuous, he absolutely would go for a big alimony settlement, and give hell over custody. Maybe still it would be worth getting him out but man I would not want to be her.

KindredMaximus · 2021-11-12T02:11:01+00:00

What a pathetic father. When I was a SAHP, I didn't have time to sit on the computer - I was TEACHING my kids and actually NURTURING them. They knew how to read before they went to school - they graduated top of their grades in high school and got into good Universities. I saw that as the only way out of poverty. That took hours, days, weeks, years of work on my part. What the hell kind of parenting is he doing that he can sit around and play during the day? Poor kids. What a neglectful parent. He probably doesn't even clean. I also looked after a whole property that needed slashing etc. WTF is he doing all day? Cut those services off.
She birthed those children, she made literal flesh, blood and bones from her own body and then fed them from her own body. That comes at a cost to the host. Now, she is working while he is neglecting their children. Also, make up is essential for employment in some industries - I wouldn't dream of turning up to a job interview without make up.

Then he probably complains he doesn't get sex - no woman wants to have sex with people they don't respect and how can you respect this greedy, lazy, entitled ''man''. Reason - 2 million - for FDS. But not all men, right?

brylm92 · 2021-11-12T03:21:34+00:00

She is a resource to him. He is annoyed when she spends money because he sees it and her as HIS. The children, too, he feels entitled to but evidently doesn't care to look after. He doesn't care about her personality, interests, or even appearance at this stage. Honestly, I'd bet an arm he spends most of his stay at home "parenting" time ignoring his babies to watch premium porn content that SHE'S paying for. Literally what even is the point of this man. OP is it possible to message her a link to this thread?

hurtstobehuman · 2021-11-12T02:20:12+00:00

This man’s existence is a pointless and irrelevant waste of space. He’s an utterly useless hobosexual. Using the word man to describe him is overzealous. He contributes less than the child in this situation. What trash!! 🚮

bonghits4jess · 2021-11-12T03:44:40+00:00

I can’t read that subreddit anymore, most of the posts are women slowly coming to the realization that they are being emotionally/verbally/financially abused. I don’t know which pains me more, the women not realizing they’re in an abusive relationship or the commenters trying to justify the abusers actions. It’s even more heartbreaking when most of the comments are pointing out the red flags and OP doubles down on their spouse’s behavior and you know they won’t be getting out of that relationship anytime soon. The only true A’s are the ones that are narcissists and no one can convince them they are wrong so they never change.

I posted there once about my emotionally abusive bd asking if I was TA for not wanting to put him on the birth certificate since I found out he was cheating on me and was verbally abusive. the MRAs rained down on my post saying I was TA. Only one kind person, probably a member of this group, was kind enough to tell me that I was doing the right thing by protecting my child. I wish I had listened to them and my own intuition and did what I knew was right.

Half_Halt · 2021-11-12T03:33:56+00:00

Oh, F--k this bullshit. I'm so tired of women putting up with this behaviour. Sounds just like a good friend & her husband. They looked at a rental house in my town. She liked it. He did not, because "The commute is too far". Oh, where is Bill working now? "Ohhhh, he's not..." That's right. Bill doesn't have a commute & he's still complaining . 🙄

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-11-12T03:35:33+00:00

I can't believe she had to explain herself in one of the edits about why she is buying makeup. The woman barely has any time or money for herself and people seem to be shaming her for that...? Also, she IS working. She needs to look put together when she goes to work.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-11-12T02:08:53+00:00

What a useless leech he is. Kick him to the curb.

DieMadwithScrotacity · 2021-11-12T04:31:34+00:00

Good God what a useless lump of shit. This is what too many "stay at home Dads" end up doing - they do the bare minimum to keep their kids alive, and then they lounge around with their video games/tv/porn. The fact that he has time to use all those subscription services is a dead giveaway that he is not parenting at anywhere near the level of a typical SAHM. 😑

avocadobarbie · 2021-11-12T04:11:43+00:00

She has three children. Not two. This man contributes literally nothing. I really don’t understand why women date men who don’t do ANYTHING. Like not even 50/50. Straight 100/0. Wtf??!

Cel_Gabe · 2021-11-12T02:51:35+00:00

After all that explanation you really asking if you're the asshole? If you paying for rent and for the food, what's his purpose? He should be kissing your feet! The nerve...😑

-Phoenix_ashes- · 2021-11-12T04:21:32+00:00

These men are LIARS. If he cared about his family he would get a job, literally any job to bring in an income. So your “dignity” is preventing you from supporting your family? This is a void male, bellow a negative value man, the worst kind next to physical abusers. Never sleep with men who aren’t husband and father material. God this makes me sick to read..

daisy_0720 · 2021-11-12T04:50:29+00:00

Stuff like this makes me understand why women used to poison their husbands.

He's the definition of a Negative Value Male. A total waste of oxygen.

arnezuara · 2021-11-12T01:23:34+00:00

I doubt he’s subscribed to any of the streaming services she mentioned in the most. He’s likely wasting her money on OnlyFans and Tinder premium.

He is clearly financially and emotionally abusing her, throwing “fits” (controlled rage) and shit. He is intimidating her into compliance. I am fearful for this woman and her child’s safety, as well as well-being.

It will only get worse. She needs to throw his unemployed, leeching ass out of her life, as hard as it may be.

seraphinelysion · 2021-11-12T02:24:26+00:00

Why the fuck did she have kids with this useless POS?!

ironglaciers · 2021-11-12T13:08:31+00:00

I just talked to my therapist (a 70 year-old male) about men these days and how women do literally everything and he said he sees people in marriage counseling where the man basically does nothing and wonders why the marriage isn't working. So many of them are oblivious and think that things just get done for them like their mothers used to, and that them taking taking thr kitchen trash out once a week is enough. My therapist constantly has to tell the men to actually pull their weight because it's a partnership - she doesn't want another dependent. My word for it was manchild. And that's why I said I've been single a while, for one reason or another. A lot of the available men my age (30s) are that way for a reason. 😒

SupremeDearLeader · 2021-11-12T02:29:10+00:00

She needs to look up Narcissistic husband and fast before she gives up on even wearing makeup .......

CannonEyes · 2021-11-12T13:14:00+00:00

Why does "fakeup" bother me so much omg what a loser

cutiebranch · 2021-11-12T13:21:42+00:00

The pinned comment enrages me almost as much as the post.

Call a female poster a gold digger, call her a monster, say she should be executed with how she is treating a man, and that’s fine.

But call a third party male, who will never see the post, a man-baby? In a sub where you’re supposed to call him an asshole? How uncivil

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-11-12T05:07:59+00:00

These lazy cheating scrotes always end up "having issues with their employer".

I would install multiple nanny cams with a quickness. There's no way this pig is actually taking proper care of his children. If he was how would he have time to use all of these subscriptions and watch shows on all these channels?

AnniaT · 2021-11-12T12:27:47+00:00

This is an horror story! A cautionary tale to never be the breadwinner for men. He sits all day watching his channels and is not actively looking for jobs and she's still doing all the house work (he's not even contributing by being a "house husband" by taking care of the house and the children). And the he has the audacity of demanding that she pays for his subscriptions.

AnatomyWizz1 · 2021-11-12T18:44:23+00:00

Yeah. So.

I would’ve cut it off at “my husband is unemployed” EHHH WRONG. He’s already the asshole.

You’re the woman. He’s supposed to be providing for you always. You should always come first above all else and before all else. Whoever man leaves their lady stuck paying for everything on top of household chores and child-rearing is already an egregious waste of time.

I feel sorry that she accepted the ring and birthed his children before realizing this all too late.

preppykat3 · 2021-11-12T03:58:04+00:00

I can’t believe anyone dates these “men”.

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2021-11-12T03:54:59+00:00

I make high six figures and I still don’t have Hulu premium or that many streaming services lmaooo maybe if he had fewer distractions he’d actually wash a damn dish. Meanwhile, the rest of Reddit thinks it’s abusive to expect a man earning more money, not even all the money, to do any housework.

Edited to add: also if she’s the only one working, makeup is essential for women to be considered professional, there are plenty of studies proving that. It’s shitty and unfair but it’s not unnecessary for her job.

xfelugirlx · 2021-11-12T03:34:09+00:00

He’s a grown ass baby, girl wake up and dump him

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-11-12T07:09:25+00:00

I'm working myself to the bone to sustain 4 people including myself. meanwhile my husband gaslight me and uses my labour. AITA?

too many of these. of course they're not TA. but the man in their life gaslight them so hard that they begin to question their reality.

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-11-12T05:15:48+00:00

What a nightmare. One kid with this scrote could have been an accident, but two? Girl, gtfo and run. And, pretty sure all those subscriptions add up to more than $80.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-11-12T05:38:20+00:00

I noped at hygiene products. This stuff gets me seriously depressed.

cutiebranch · 2021-11-12T16:23:39+00:00

So there’s a comment here saying it’s possible to breastfeed after stopping and this FACT has been downvoted into oblivion, by people who would rather believe emotions instead of taking five second to do some research.

PEOPLE.

NO ONE is saying this particular woman should go back to breastfeeding if she doesn’t want to, but breastfeeding after you’ve stopped IS possibly and parroting/perpetuating the lie it’s not can emotionally harm women who have had to refrain from breastfeeding who wish to start

Eg if a woman is on a medication that is incompatible with breastfeeding so she doesn’t but then doesn’t need the Med and would like to start breastfeeding.

If ya’ll are out here saying “no, it’s impossible” she might not go any further.

It is absolutely possible. Facts are facts and just because you don’t know them or don’t like them (and honestly why could this fact be disliked) doesn’t change that

skylightshaded · 2021-11-12T07:27:01+00:00

These posts make me scared to have children. I want them, I’ve always known that, but I’ve only ever met one man I would even consider having a child with, and he still turned out to be below my expectations. And then I see these women suffer from a lazy, entitled man and I wonder how on earth I could ever trust a man enough to build a family with him. But it’s a great reminder to never settle and always think things through, divorce is an option if I get it wrong but I’d just rather remain single.

catsuramen · 2021-11-12T04:59:52+00:00

I doubt the issue is actually the $80+ subscriptions. It is that the LVM is insecure because he lost his provider role, his job, which gave him his identity. His boss fires rejected him The society rejected him (job rejections). He retaliated by holding onto one thing he has control, his wife, by holding onto the subscriptions with an iron fist. Clearly this man is depressed but that's not an issue for OP to fix.

I've seen this happen. My mom's friend's loser husband lost his job and after multiple job rejections, he stopped interviewing and just stays home and watch TV. My mom's friend came home from work to a second job to care for the kids. After bedtime, she did all the housework too. This is what happens when toxic masculinity are instilled onto males.

aquietsword · 2021-11-12T08:01:57+00:00

Letting a lvm be a sahd is honestly stupid. Maybe that sounds harsh, but it's true. Their "standards" for everything is lower than that of women, they say it all the time. Our standards for how clean a home should be is just naturally higher so it's our problem and not theirs....why on earth would this low value mentality be any different when raising kids? A low value man will NEVER raise your kids the way you would and it benefits no one to let him be a useless burden on the family. Don't project your compassion or your competence onto men, it's not the same for the majority of them.

miss_peach94 · 2021-11-12T16:00:05+00:00

One word: DIVORCE

PicoPicoMio · 2021-11-12T17:01:38+00:00

This could never be me, oh my god. I’m praying someone dm’d her this sub. She deserves better.

MsXxSelfDestructxX · 2021-11-12T19:32:23+00:00

throw him back to the streets

NowTruly · 2021-11-12T09:32:11+00:00

A man who in any way attacks / negs / criticizes a woman’s relationship with breastfeeding and her soundness as a mother — especially to deflect from his own failings — is a NVM. Completely irredeemable. The human equivalent of salted earth.

A woman’s choices around breastfeeding are COMPLEX. The anxiety about the “right” choice ratchets up 1000% when she’s isolated and stressed (as this poor woman seems.)

What he’s saying to her is intentional and deeply abusive.

If he keeps her doubting her ability as a mother, she’ll feel too off-balance to leave him.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-11-12T05:37:44+00:00

Just LEAVE him. Privilege my ass. Lazy POS

Bbqchilifries · 2021-11-12T10:58:57+00:00

"BuT wHaT if He'S dePreSseD? YoU sHouLd coMmUniCate."

I was reading another post today where the woman complains about her husband and father of her children being a literal child who does nothing to help out and doesn't work. His answer to her confronting him on this is to give her the silent treatment for 2 days at a time. And someone STILL suggested her "communicating her needs" and pushing him to go to therapy.

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-11-12T09:50:40+00:00

Reading this hurt my soul:

make up is not what sponges the life out of her and needs to be disposed of
why ask him to delete them? Just delete them, she is a mother first and foremost and needs to make decisions for 2 human beings who cannot fend for themselves, not 3
he left his job because the evil boss was mean? Won’t accept another job? Seriously? He needs to go to work and provide for his children.

He doesn’t even look after those poor kids properly if all he does all day if watching 5 different channels, what else? Internet? Gaming? I feel for her, she is probably stuck because of childcare cost. I hope she gets rid of him as soon as possible without damaging her career.

intergalacticanon44 · 2021-11-12T12:57:30+00:00

There’s enough overlap that you don’t need all those subscriptions at once and I’m sure he knows that

2021-11-12T06:32:48+00:00

Just why. This just makes me angry. Tell that lazy fucker off. Why do you have to be nice. Don't be submissive to a literal parasite ugh.

miiju86 · 2021-11-12T08:49:45+00:00

Woah - he thinks he has a right to her money? And not even just for one thing - no. It has to be for 5, 6, 7 different ones. While criticizing her for the few things she buys for herself - also with her own money....

.... and I bet he doesn't lift a finger at home and with the kids.... don't think it's more than the absolute minimum and all the rest gets done by her when she comes home from work.

What a weak excuse of a man and a human being.

I'm just so concerned that women like her - poor soul - even have to ask if maybe they are wrong....

nothingt0say · 2021-11-12T11:24:47+00:00

Why does she have a NEW baby w this fuck up?????

WorkaholicParty · 2021-11-12T09:33:53+00:00

SAHD are just leeches, try to explain how much of a scam it is and people will call you out.

scorchedsouI · 2021-11-12T09:57:26+00:00

When a woman wants to reproduce, every instinct in her tells her to find a mentally stable, attractive and hard-working male with resources, so that she can successfully raise her offspring and fully invest in them to ensure that they not only survive, but also thrive.

Imagine going against the most inherent of human sexual and reproductive incentives, and then asking a forum full of porn-sick losers if you're an asshole for being leeched off of by a man that does nothing. No ma'am, you're not an asshole, you're just dumber than a bag of rocks. One would think struggling to survive and raise your children at the same time would have made you realize, but apparently not.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-11-12T08:59:26+00:00

Omg she's living a nightmare! Of COURSE she's still doing the majority of the work around the house too!

oscine23 · 2021-11-12T20:06:22+00:00

Divorrrrrce

East-Willingness513 · 2021-11-12T06:28:54+00:00

The kids probably in daycare too

esthermaniii · 2021-11-12T21:32:21+00:00

This is a nightmare. Footing all the bills, raising kids AND doing all the housework. What’s the point of a “husband” then?

ms_monquis · 2021-11-13T00:38:25+00:00

He…won’t LET me…not spend my money. Huh?

I wonder what she’s actually afraid of. It can’t be that he’ll leave her.

Title	Husband suggests she stop buying formula rather than get a job and cancel his $80+ a month subscriptions.
Author	Bleep_bloop5678
Upvotes	1092
Comments	123
Date	November 12, 2021 1:04 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qrzqhm/husband_suggests_she_stop_buying_formula_rather/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/husband-suggests-she-stop-buying-formula-rather.1084581 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084581

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