Would women consider a man with a low N-Count more desirable?

crookedsummer2019 · 2021-03-08T00:10:33+00:00

If I was single I would prefer a guy who has a low n count but has relationship experience over a guy with high n count but has no relationship experience. If his n count is high when single but he also had long term relationships I would consider that. This is of course in addition to other things I would be vetting like his personality etc.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-03-08T00:10:45+00:00

A low count is not distinctly indicative of an attractive quality for men or women. It could stand for lack of opportunity due to unattractiveness or character deficiencies, OR restraint or faithfulness. A low count for an attractive individual is what is most desirable for the majority of people probably.

1Here4Bach · 2021-03-08T15:11:05+00:00

Men with low n-counts who attract many women ARE desirable. It shows he has self control and discipline. Both traits I value very much in men. He also recognizes there’s more to life than sleeping around.

Men with low-n-counts who attract no women aren’t desirable. For obvious reasons.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2021-03-07T22:39:47+00:00

Yes. Arguments against high N-count women concerning commitment, impulse control, and STDs apply to men, as well.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-03-08T01:46:23+00:00

It’s funny how when you ask women this question about men sleeping around they talk negatively about them and assume negatively but when addressing a woman with a high N-count it’s nobody’s business/shouldn’t define her as a person. Food for thought....

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-03-08T01:47:39+00:00

I would prefer a guy with a low N. They make better partners usually.

PickleLine · 2021-03-07T22:31:29+00:00

I would not ask his n count as its just pathetic. I might guess the situation from indirect signs. I would not want a fuckboy or a man who is uncapabale to pairbound. So high n count for a man is definitely bad. It's also a sign of poor self control.

kkay3 · 2021-03-07T23:20:28+00:00

A man with a low N-Count by choice is the peak desirable. He clearly had the ability to have a lot of sex but he views sex as something meaningful and doesn't act on it. Next would be a guy with a high N-Count but only if he was militant about sex safe. Next is a guy with a low N-Count not by choice. I give this group a lower rating because this is where you find a lot of resentment towards women. If a guy in this group maintained positive regard towards women he could still be peak desirable to me. Last is a guy with a high N-Count who didn't care about safe sex.

AskingToFeminists · 2021-03-07T23:39:53+00:00

Yup. Men who sleep around probably used women and pressured them for sex. I prefer low n count in men for that reason.

Experience doesn’t matter since most women are not orgasming from sex w experienced men anyway.

2021-03-08T05:28:22+00:00

Obviously depends on the women, but definitely a yes for me. My husband and I are both low N-count and I would never have married him if he were the type to sleep with everyone he could.

Novadina · 2021-03-08T03:39:04+00:00

It doesn’t matter to me, but for some reason all my boyfriends that were remotely serious (3, including my husband) were virgins. I think it was a coincidence... but who knows... I am attracted to shy guys so I think it’s just my type might be more likely to have a low count.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-07T23:18:44+00:00

yes, because men with higher n-counts (even if they are attractive) are usually not good at being committed partners.

they can be kind people and maybe some are able to be committed (i do know attractive, kind, loyal men, though i don't know what their n-counts are), but we don't have the same outlook on life and probably won't end up liking each other anyway (since i'm low n-count too); ultimately if i wanted a man around me it would be for a committed relationship so...

it's not like i ask outright either, but men are usually honest about it (definitely the ones w/ a high n-count) or you can just tell by his behavior towards sex and relationships. i'd prefer someone attractive to me with a low n-count and compatibility in other aspects, but n-count is also not at the top of the list of things i care about.

edit: also religion

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-03-08T00:56:59+00:00

Yes. At my age (late 20s), I don’t expect anyone to be a virgin or have only one or two previous partners. And I’m not going to be pressed just because someone I’m dating has had more than me or get hung up on (or even ask about) exact numbers (is more than 10 too many? how about 12? Whatever.) We’re all adults who have probably been dating a while. But if given the choice, I would ideally prefer a guy with less than 10, and anything really high is a dealbreaker. Idc if you’ve had hookups before, but if you’ve slept with 50+ women that suggests to me you’re really going out of your way to hook up, aka a fuckboy/player. And I don’t trust someone like that to ever be a faithful partner. Tbh I’d rather date a female slut since at least they aren’t duping anyone into sex and sometimes they’re really done sleeping around. Most men won’t willingly give up being a slut. And most “game” is nothing but lies and manipulation tactics. Who could ever trust someone like that?

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-03-07T23:57:30+00:00

NO.

What are your thoughts?

For every "gross high n-male" there was "a gross low-n male" with bizarre views and hang-ups on sex and women. I remember one in specific, which wanted to suspend me from a ceiling in strange waifu-wife wear and 'tickle my feet' to orgasm due to sexual phobias.

Asses individuality. NEXT!

mountainofjoy · 2021-03-08T05:46:01+00:00

I prefer low. It was definitely very very special being each other’s firsts when we got married.

2021-03-08T09:49:38+00:00

ABSOLUTELY! As a virgin myself, I want someone on the same kinda ‘level’ as me, and with similar views about sex and relationships. I want it to be as special for him as it will be for me, and not be just another notch on his bedpost. I find promiscuity to be a huge turn off in men, and it would severely limit my ability to feel secure in a relationship, and therefore bond with my partner, if he was a slut. I think it’s hilarious but kinda sad that men don’t realise all the negative things they say about promiscuous women as a partner apply just as equally to them too

Flat_Plane_V8 · 2021-03-08T12:45:44+00:00

women like low n count guys who could have easily racked up high n count but didnot...women donot like guys who donot have any options

porkchop_47 · 2021-03-08T14:35:12+00:00

I do. If someone wants to have standards there’s no reason I can’t have them too. I think a lot of women are taught to go after a more “experienced” male when looking for their first romantic/sexual partner. The problem is that usually means they have a medium to a lot of sexual history. Just because a guy has multiple casual sexual encounters, doesn’t mean he’s a good “lover”. Those probably have less since they haven’t had the time to actually learn how to please other than themselves. Because how are you supposed to know if you’re good at pleasing if you’re having one night stands and getting no genuine feedback (because faking orgasms do exist)?

Sophiatab · 2021-03-08T14:59:24+00:00

I would definitely prefer a guy with a low n-count. My late husband had a high n-count and it was the single biggest problem in our marriage.

Mustbeaight · 2021-03-08T00:55:31+00:00

Lol all the women in the replies are going to say how gross high n count men are.. which is fine.. but women like to say how they stay away from « fuckbois » until it’s actually time to stay away from « fuckbois »

ratram012699 · 2021-03-08T06:04:40+00:00

My “monkey brain” is attracted to low n-count men (I have a sixth sense for virgins), most likely due to some level of insecurity/vulnerability people with low-n counts often project.

My partner is a high n-count male. He’s not easily dazzled by femininity or female sexuality, and doesn’t fall for my bullshit just because he wants to have sex, which is probably why our relationship is healthy. Some high n-count men are no longer awed by vagina and thus do not allow themselves to be mistreated simply because they’re horny/lonely. He makes me a better person in part by engaging with me as a person first and a woman second.

Lord-of-Circles · 2021-03-08T07:20:36+00:00

No. Women are attracted to pre-selected men that are loved by women.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-08T03:16:29+00:00

High N count is a huge turn off. I like my men to think with their brain and not their d*ck and have standards. Guys with a high N count probably objectify women too. No bueno.

slavicslothe · 2021-03-08T05:11:35+00:00

Here’s the secret, the less you talk about your n-count the less weird/creepy you will seem to women and people in general. People about to have sex with you don’t generally want to think about other people you’ve had sex with.

This goes for well-functioning psychologically healthy men too, if a guy is obsessed with a girls n count, he’s probably socially conservative which carries a lot of practical baggage like high rates of spousal abuse.

Willow-girl · 2021-03-08T14:29:41+00:00

Couldn't care less although it's a red flag if he is still hung up on an ex or excessively hostile toward her.

IcarusKiki · 2021-03-08T19:29:19+00:00

I judge based on character not n count. But a guy who can’t seem to keep it in his pants is an automatic next

BrosForAll · 2021-03-08T01:08:04+00:00

Usually the man with low N count isnt much attractive.

ya_cuza · 2021-03-08T02:18:06+00:00

I dont care so much about a man's N-count. What's made the biggest difference in my sex life with any partner was whether they were in a long term relationship before. That generally says a lot more about their emotional maturity and sexual ability (good things).

Mimoxs · 2021-03-07T23:42:25+00:00

It depends on the individual person.

To me yes, I seek it out and have done so in the past. I feel more comfortable. The only time I dated a higher-n dude (7) I felt very uncomfortable and it always weighed in the back of my mind, making me feel unclean and upset. Low n men/virgins don't do that to me.

sweetlike314 · 2021-03-08T05:07:44+00:00

I don’t care about N-count. It seemed like something important to ask when I was 22 but by 30 I really don’t care. Plus by 30, most people have had multiple partners and a variety of relationships. Many people had a few wild years and then grew out of it.

Edit: I’d like to add that as I got older it was almost a deterrent if someone didn’t have at least some mix of dating experiences. It takes time to learn about oneself in a relationship and how to compromise and communicate effectively. Having a few relationships also sometimes means someone is more likely to realize when a relationship is good because they’ve experienced a few different types of people over the years.

HotDog-WaterDrip · 2021-03-08T00:12:26+00:00

If he is other wise an attractive & mentally healthy man? Yes, more high quality women without high n counts themselves would consider this man more desirable. But why?

Generally, most guys seeking & getting 50+ n counts 100+ n counts and keeping track of all the women they've banged are doing it because they have something to prove.

There's some deeper sense of insecurity, low self esteem, or confidence issues stemming from their scarcity days.

When high quality women get older, more mature & wiser they eventually recognize this and want a man who doesn't have this. This high quality man is less likely to branch swing himself, and is fine being adventurous with just her (or swinging & threesomes if they're both into that).

Men who feel no need to do this and yet could pull 10/10 women without having ever slept with one, make for healthier long term partners too. Why? They have nothing to prove and demonstrate a much higher maturity. Being able to sleep with 5 different 9/10 women but choosing to be in a healthy relationship with a 7/10 women because everything is going fine & you're happy is the peak of maturity.

And while its a lower number for women, sleeping with enough women eventually lessens the 'pair bonding' ability for men too. The women just means less to them, and all their intimate relationships (inb4 ppl try to argue sex isn't intimate) have been temporary too. As people get older & older how they view relationships changes, young love truly is unique and the best in a sense that, you can never experience it again when the way you think & see things is different. Ignorance is bliss. That naivety is beautiful. Middle school love is different from high school love and that's different from college & young adult love.

For most women... sex really is their version of love. They will always have this inner fondness for men they've had sex with. Men do not have this. Sex is pleasure & physical stimulation, and while its much more enjoyable to have this with a women the man has genuine feelings & love for its not required.

If the man is not really sexually attractive and did not choose to avoid all those temptations, or did it for religious reasons, anything beyond his his choice then this changes. When he finally gets some he can be even more likely to cheat or abuse or disrespect the women. It has to be out of his own morals & ethics, his own reasoning that he chooses not to go for a high n count even when given the chance to. This takes an enormous amount of will power, that I don't think any female can possibly understand, but doing so also indicates other things needed to make a healthy LTR last for a lifetime. If the women cheats or divorces the man however? Everything changes and who knows how he will view it.

gigababejfl_ · 2021-03-08T01:11:08+00:00

I really don't care about n-count. I don't think about it. If forced to, I would be less attracted to the man who sleeps with everyone. Its lack of self control and primitive but not in a sexy way.

nyclaurco · 2021-03-08T03:39:14+00:00

many high n-count men are just HPV, mycoplasma, and trichomoniasis bombs for women. people regardless of gender tend to pair with people with similar body counts.

mandoa_sky · 2021-03-08T03:58:21+00:00

depends on why it's low.

eg he might not count hookers, but it still counts

obviously it's relative to age as well

sobaka683 · 2021-03-08T05:48:46+00:00

My logic brain says no.

I try to rationalize and tell myself that I don’t care about a guys n-count cause I feel like judging someone like that can be unfair and I would like to be accepting and supportive of my partner even if they are a slut.

On the other hand my emotional brain goes crazy when I think about a partner being with anyone else (even if it was before we met). I’m honestly embarrassed by how possessive I can get. I get upset if the guy I’m with mentions a previous girlfriend and the thought of him even liking other people makes me riled up.

sunologie · 2021-03-08T09:37:01+00:00

Low.

nemma88 · 2021-03-08T09:53:37+00:00

Around the same is fine. Higher, to the more extreme is a bit eww on a superficial level, it also signals that person has a very different outlook on life than me which I think it the main killer in preference here - its a logical signal of compatibility issues. Lower or virgin - well from experience it hasn't effected my sexual attraction to that person.

There's really a wide range, and I can extrapolate different stats that might say something about them but it's all just noise really, the only problem is supersloots because they're intimidating.

Shadowgirl7 · 2021-03-08T15:54:25+00:00

I don't care about N-count as long as if I am dating the guy, I don't have to date the exes too.

Meaning if the guy had a lot of previous relationships or a lot of previous hookups, it is fine with me as long as he doesn't have unfinished businesses with them and is just using me as pass time or leading me on until fixing the issues with them.

I actually prefer guys who are clear about what they want, they want sex because they feel like they don't have much time for a relationship, they had sex fine. Now they want something more serious, I am not going to judge them for their past. The only thing that would worry me would be STDs, but I would try to know if the guy wore condoms and ask for a STDs test, simple, would solve it.

I am a woman and have a low N count but even if I had high, would expect the same from a guy: not to care about my past N counts as long as I am serious about investing in the relationship presently.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-08T19:04:05+00:00

You could test it by running several dating profiles advertising a virgin male vs virgin female.

2021-03-08T21:28:01+00:00

As someone with a low count I would prefer a partner who is reasonably close. To me it’s more about compatibility. I’m not expecting a virgin, but I’d much rather have someone who’s number is increased by relationships than by going out and casually flinging it around. I’m not impressed by high counts and I try to avoid people with such numbers (they generally have a certain attitude I find off putting anyway) when considering a partner. I also value loyalty, so someone who’s more likely to cheat or easily get bored and move on for the sake of variety or “game” is not someone I would feel comfortable being in a ltr with.

kiyuku · 2021-03-10T17:32:46+00:00

I never really cared, nor have I understood why some men obsess over it. My previous ex has only been with two people, and was really self conscious about “performance” when it’s just... sex. It’s a very intimate act that people share, not a “performance” or “competition”. I’m not going to compare you to other people when I’m having sex with you because I want to and I love/care about you.

On the other hand, my current bf was always talking about his high n-count at first to impress me (I guess, I never understood why he did it cause it just made him sound really self conscious about it). He later on told me he was always worried about how he performs too, and that he thought that maybe by having sex with tons of people it would make him really good at it when that’s not the case either.

I feel like people are so focused on these things when it should be more of an emotional connection in a LTR, and more of just a physical fun thing to do in a one night stand, but that’s just my two cents.

souredskittles · 2021-03-07T22:43:50+00:00

How low is low? I guarantee you, any man who has a high n count is seeing prostitutes or is using very unethical means.

The context matters. Had sex with 2 gfs? Fine. 2 prostitutes, hell no.

superlurkage · 2021-03-08T00:12:52+00:00

Not really. We just want “not high”

I’m pretty sure men feel the same way. It’s way down on the list

SaBahRub · 2021-03-07T23:14:50+00:00

That’s pretty low on the list of priorities

adriamarievigg · 2021-03-08T04:01:15+00:00

I prefer a lower N count, if it’s too high I would be afraid (1) He’s a player and not interested in Monogamy or (2) I’m being compared to all the other woman he’s been with. I would be afraid I wasn’t good enough or not as good as “whoever”. It plays way too much on my insecurities

grahamcookiefart · 2021-03-08T05:58:27+00:00

For me, yes definitely -partly for religious reasons- but otherwise, because high N counts on both sides reveal some character flaws. I don't want a partner who casually hauls himself at strangers, it shows no restraint, no carefulness (towards STDs for example), no self-control.

2021-03-08T07:44:02+00:00

I look at what the hottest women do since they have the most options. And they, without any social pressures, go for thuggish tattooed Chads with presumably high notch counts. The fact that many women don't do this probably means they are suppressing that instinct in favour of a beta provider type. Not many alpha chads are also good providers which is what women seek above all else in men so women have just adapted to seek out such men, acting against their carnal desires.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-03-08T11:00:06+00:00

Yeah... tell these females you're a virgin/doesn't get laid and it'll make their pussy all wet (sarcasm). The most sexually attractive men (Chad's and violent bad boys/thugs) are the ones with high notch counts.

Are you really serious with this question? Of course they're desirable... Hence the high N-Count and the amount of females cueing up for Chad's and violent bad boys/thugs for a relationship.

A man with an involuntary low N-Count obviously is undesirable.

LeatherDifference583 · 2021-03-07T22:35:34+00:00

Absolutely not.

He has to have a similar attitude as me towards sex or it won't work.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-03-07T23:16:11+00:00

No, people of either gender who care about body count are immature.

2021-03-07T22:48:55+00:00

Couldn't care less about n count.

thelajestic · 2021-03-07T22:49:04+00:00

Nope, I don't find it more desirable. Every relationship I've had they've had a lower count than me so I don't care about it being low in that regard. I'd want someone with a similar outlook on sex as me though, so at this age I'd expect them to have a mix of relationships and some casual sex. I'd be unlikely to date someone who had only slept with one or two people as I doubt we'd be compatible.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-03-07T23:46:52+00:00

Excluding being some famous mega star, you don't get to be a man that women swoon over because you're bumbling you're way around women, its like practicing anything , and pratice only makes perfect, whatever women say. That's why going to into a bar with hot women on your arm works so well in attracting other women, lizard brain rules all.

OG_walrus · 2021-03-08T05:04:13+00:00

As far as I read in a book analyzing leaked internet searches and romance novels which women read the most, the female brain is wired for desiring emotional "virginity" meaning the most desirable man is the man who has never fallen in love until he meets the one.

On the other hand the male brain is wired for wanting sexual virginity. On the sexual virginity of the man actually in some cases it is better for the man to not be a sexual virgin.

Both of these are for good reason, I think. As a woman you want the guy to love you and only you and as a man you want a woman who is a virgin so you both feel special when you finally get together.

_donkenstein_ · 2021-03-08T05:15:25+00:00

Women seem to be much more flexible about a man's N-count......anecdotally, I'd say they'd want him to be more experienced that she herself is.

They see it as proof that he's quality material.

yellowydaffodil · 2021-03-08T08:43:08+00:00

Woman here. As long as you come free of diseases, it doesn't matter to me. N-count is a patriarchal concept anyway.

AreOut · 2021-03-08T10:28:24+00:00

women consciously want low N count men, but subconsciously choose high N count men

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2021-03-08T16:58:43+00:00

Don't forget, it applies to women almost as much as men - but the higher the N-count, the higher the chance of him having multiple vomiting bastards that he's paying child support for.

Moirdo1 · 2021-03-08T06:25:40+00:00

Wow, so much judgement/generalisation/stereotyping/and no acceptance of people and their journeys to become who they are... Some of the most amazing people have been abused/have mental health issues/no support/just young? and maybe their behaviour at one point in time has resulted in having a high N-count (whatever fuckwhit came up with this is just pathetic TBH), among other things; - the point of life is to experience things, and come out of it, learn from it, and then make better and more purposeful choices later in life. I have met so so many women and men on both sides of the fence and in the middle - I have seen so many men and women with a "low N-count" cheat, abuse, oppress and disregard their parters. On the other side I have seen people who have been through it all and know what they deserve, and what their partners deserve because they have seen, experienced and learned from previous exposures -

As a woman, I would rather have a man that has accepted me for me, and I them for them, without putting a label that means nothing on him (and he me either, for whatever other shortcomings people apply as being a 'no-go')

No wonder so many people are lonely- because of being judged and ostracised by people on first glance, and only paying attention to superficial - love works better than anything- making unfounded generalisations hurts people, and creates hate and toxicity; horrible cycle of hate and abuse continues

rothkochapel · 2021-03-08T11:19:12+00:00

In my experience I've never met a woman that would ideally prefer a less experienced guy

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-03-08T08:41:52+00:00

Doesn't matter to me. These are what matter to me:

- Am I attracted to him?

- Is he putting forth an effort to court me?

- Does he have his shit together?

- Do our life priorities align?

- Is he emotionally available and is he lacking in baggage/Drama?

- Is he STD-free and otherwise in a healthy/fit condition?

- Is he adding physical, mental, intellectual, academic, spiritual, and financial value to my life?

- Does being with him bring me legitimate joy, happiness, wellbeing, and prosperity?

if he's got these - his N count could be 8,000,000 for all I care :/

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Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2021-03-08T01:28:48+00:00

i would not

Mysterious_Welder_33 · 2021-03-08T05:10:37+00:00

What’s N-count ?

Reecedrice · 2021-03-08T07:32:53+00:00

What's an N-count? Is it like body count or something?

2021-03-08T10:28:04+00:00

Absolutely. 100%.

AngelWeyesDelRey · 2021-03-08T13:20:05+00:00

Relationship experience is more important. But I will admit that male virgins are off putting.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-03-08T14:25:18+00:00

What is an N count?

madhunnybee · 2021-03-08T14:27:08+00:00

I wouldn't give a fuck.

7incowboy · 2021-03-08T14:46:19+00:00

Can't speak for anyone else, but I believe my N count is high but not excessively? My longest relationship during the count accumulation was about about 6 months. I just would realize that they weren't " the one" and would move on , they understood, probably having the same realization. We would part as friends. When I found the ONE it's been 40 Years and counting. So I would say that just because a guy has a high N count and lacks a LTR pedigree , give a guy a chance, ya never know unless you try

SupremeWaifu69 · 2021-03-08T16:55:36+00:00

I don’t know. I personally don’t ask my partners about their count and they don’t ask me. I have a high n-count from my first few years at uni and I did not want relationships/commitments. So now when I meet a partner I don’t look at their body count but rather what do they want or expect out of this relationship like an adult.

Counter_Proposition · 2021-03-08T17:39:03+00:00

I don't tell women I'm dating my n-count, so I have no clue.

prettymuchredpilled · 2021-03-09T02:21:51+00:00

Women generally don't care how low a man's N count is. In fact, if it's too low it can be to the man's detriment.

chalkandapples · 2021-03-10T00:07:58+00:00

Yes, because I only had sex with 1 person. I assume I would want someone that has a similar life experience as me, so if I had multiple sexual partners, I would likely want someone like that too.

EnvironmentalSea543 · 2021-03-10T07:26:36+00:00

I would want someone who roughly matches my experience.

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Title	Would women consider a man with a low N-Count more desirable?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	103
Comments	467
Date	March 7, 2021 10:15 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m012ig/would_women_consider_a_man_with_a_low_ncount_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-women-consider-a-man-with-a-low-n-count-more.1191161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1191161

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