Why Do Manosphere Dudes Get Mad At Women Having Options Instead of Other Men for GIVING Them Those Options?

Soul_vaccine · 2024-03-05T15:39:15+00:00

I understand the frustration when it comes to hypocrisy. Just like I understand women’s complaints about certain hypocrisy in men’s general preferences.

For instance a lot of guys who are womanizers do not a good partner make. So there is a grain of truth in there about making poor choices in partner. Men do the same thing, lead with your wallet, get taken advantage of.

We can talk about what works and why, or we can talk about how things could change for the better but I don’t think blaming the other side is a good position to take.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-03-05T13:53:03+00:00

I’m wondering the same thing, they get more mad at women than the men who pursue them because they don’t feel like they should have to compete with that many men in the first place, but they take their frustration out on the women instead because they feel like they should have easier access to her 🙃

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-03-05T13:26:09+00:00

Because they know that if they were on those guys position they too would completely lack the self control to have standards.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-03-05T17:55:59+00:00

The men making these claims know they are desperate and thirsty for female attention.

Demasii · 2024-03-05T13:09:56+00:00

It's literally game theory.

Men feel pressured to pursue multiple women because other men are. They naturally understand the instinctual desire to do it and know it's futile to stop it.

It's easier to try to pressure women. They think that women are better at controlling themselves due to a lower libido.

Literal_Jesus_ · 2024-03-05T14:09:53+00:00

Not all men are struggling to date. They are. They have to blame women otherwise they’d have to actually measure themselves up next to their counterparts who (shocker) are able to get laid despite not necessarily being 6 ft., uber wealthy or hyper jacked.

The actual cause would take too much introspection for them and would leave them with some uncomfy truths that they aren’t willing to face.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-05T12:51:30+00:00

It's just jealous losers with a very externalized locus of control.

Jaded-Worldliness597 · 2024-03-05T16:59:08+00:00

Why do people get upset with employers for not hiring them when there are tons of vacancies instead of other job applicants for applying?

spanglesandbambi · 2024-03-05T13:52:58+00:00

It doesn't fit with their it's a womans fault it's the same when they claim women are given more rights by the government, who are mainly men. Or men's mental health isn't supported or taken seriously often by other men.

That's not to say all issues are men's fault but to whole heartedly complain every male related issue is due to women and feminism makes them look thick as fuck.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-05T13:25:42+00:00

But why?

Because their situation ultimately stems from them not being competitive on the mating market. They rather want to tell women that they are choosing wrong and even get the worse partners for it, than to tell themselves that other men are just better and that they are not even putting in the effort to be competitive.

DolphinPunkCyber · 2024-03-05T14:46:26+00:00

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TermAggravating8043 · 2024-03-05T13:19:07+00:00

It’s easier to blame woman for having high standards eg options, than face the truth that they themselves are not a good partner

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-03-05T13:04:33+00:00

They believe they’re the victims and women are the perpetrators due to their “high” standards. In reality they’re only victims of their parents poor mating choices.

Mayfloweronthewall · 2024-03-05T13:05:56+00:00

Half of the so-called dating "inequalities," the manopshere claims that men face sounds like they are the result of male thirst tbh. No one can fix that except for men themselves.

DolphinPunkCyber · 2024-03-05T13:40:40+00:00

Almost half of young men have NEVER approached a woman.

So women feel like they have options because small number of men is approaching large number of women.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-05T15:12:24+00:00

i think in order to get into manosphere content you have to have some misogynistic biases to begin with, and if you keep consuming this content, these biases will be fed - plus, podcast man is telling them how to feel, so they follow

2024-03-05T15:14:23+00:00

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Safinated · 2024-03-05T13:33:15+00:00

Because men are the stronger gender, both physically and emotionally (but not sexually)

You can’t make people stronger than you do what you want, just weaker people.

This is why we criticize abuse victims, not abusers — you can’t make abusers respect or care

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-03-05T14:14:05+00:00

It’s because those women aren’t showing interest/lust/giving special treatment, etc to them. THEY are the main character and the world doesn’t seem to get that! And it’s really only women they are attracted/interested in. The women they aren’t are exactly like other men: invisible to them (unless they are getting something/someone that Manopshere dude feels HE deserves).

Tripleawge · 2024-03-05T13:13:23+00:00

Manosphere’s main problem is they are trying to be the foil to “women’s safe space” and as a man with no brothers and only sisters I can explain exactly why this is downright idiotic:

Men are inherently competitive full stop. Women are inherently team players full stop. So I laugh at men who try to adopt “the group will make us stronger mentality” considering that in a prisoner’s dilemma most men will basically always take the self serving option at the expense of their “brethren”

OP asked where the hatred for men getting options is but seriously speaking most men who are in that sphere are not exactly the “seeking confrontation types (unless it’s with the weaker sex ironically cough cough FandF).

Lastly there are definitely SOME men who are not only mad at but also acting on that madness… they are usually your lone-wolf mass shooters and you never really get to hear their opinions until their their manifesto is posthumously shared on the news.

Edit: thinking on it further there’s an even rarer type of man who exists; the one who is willing to act but is smart enough to realize that the men looking for “the group” to join for strength make for much better ammunition than any single weapon could.

DzejSiDi · 2024-03-05T14:58:15+00:00

Clarification: SOME of manosphere dudes.

They're mad, because they're jellous. They're mad, because that's "not fair", women have it all "for free", and they have close to nothing and need to work for it - and return of investment rate of your work + needed amount seems absurd as well. And they're mad, because women accidently pour gasoline into the fire by speaking about their own dating woes or giving advices/support in completely ignorant way. Think about talking to somebody struggling with rent paying and unironically throwing quotes like this.

2024-03-05T22:24:08+00:00

A lot of guys are perturbed about thirsty men

I have a high sex drive, but I know it’s just sex

The amount of men that ruin their lives for sex is crazy

lolthankstinder · 2024-03-05T23:26:04+00:00

There are two solutions to thirst (analogy). You can eliminate/pathologize the thirsty (most common modern solution), or you can encourage the quantity and distribution of the supply of water. Why would the thirsty get mad at others who are also thirsty for being thirsty rather than just try to promote the supply and even distribution of water?

XXXblackrabbit · 2024-03-05T17:58:44+00:00

Lmfao male sexuality isn’t some kind of organized union where we chase down the scabs who lower our “bargaining power”. This post is non-sensical

The-Loop · 2024-03-05T15:19:59+00:00

Most of the manosphere heavily shames and discourages simping, but there is some accountability on women’s part to not let attention born of desperation cause them to become completely delusional. TLDR both are bad.

harmonica2 · 2024-03-05T13:18:14+00:00

I blame the Chads a lot because it seems that most of them do not want a monogamous relationship and just want to have as many women as they can which causes the women to not want lower men it seems.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-05T13:03:06+00:00

I am disgusted with men too, every time I see a simp I cringe. Especially the whiteknights on here

Or guys who fuck way down, it's just sad

RecreationalPorpoise · 2024-03-05T15:10:06+00:00

Men can’t deactivate their sex drives. There was just a very similar post.

Women’s sex appeal is given to them for free AND they have lower sex drives. They need to take this enormous privilege into account.

jacked_degenerate · 2024-03-05T16:35:45+00:00

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John_Oakman · 2024-03-05T15:09:36+00:00

Based & redpilled real men of the manosphere already despise males who don't toe the line to such an extent that they even revoked the man card of those males. They hold those males in such contempt that they aren't even worth of hatred. Thus it appears that they don't seem to go after those males from a surface perspective.

Hoopy223 · 2024-03-05T16:05:53+00:00

There’s tons of redpill blogs where they rail against “simps” and “chads” so yeah they are mad at them too.

AttackOnTightPanties · 2024-03-05T16:12:55+00:00

I’ve asked this for a long time, and the simple answer is that they don’t view women as equals or as anything more than an object. They don’t hate on the “problem” guys because they know they would do the same thing in their position, but if a woman does it, it’s not kosher because he refuses to see her as an equal who deserves to take advantage of her options too. Instead, they accuse her of wanting people out of her league when they are easily more delusional and only notice attractive women because average or lower women don’t register to them.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-03-05T15:33:19+00:00

“I’m not an option so THEY can’t have options !!! I want them to feel my pain!!!”

That’s all it is. Find a way to be an option and make it happen, otherwise it sucks to be you and you can go your own way.

wtknight · 2024-03-05T17:39:20+00:00

It’s because they want average women to be logical and realize that there aren’t enough good men to go around and that their “attractiveness match” is actually some average boring guy.

Attraction is not logical, of course.

lolcope2 · 2024-03-05T13:07:24+00:00

Who is the gatekeeper of sex and relationships?

Gravel_Roads · 2024-03-05T14:39:51+00:00

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caption291 · 2024-03-05T15:06:06+00:00

Men need women for some things and women need men for some things.

We both need eachother, but women are playing a dumb game of chicken about it to try and increase what they can get from the deal.

It's obviously a convergence of interests rather than an evil matriarchal plot, but so was the patriarchy and women didn't seem to like that very much and they certainly aren't blaming the patriarchy on women being scared of the consequences if they said no to the patriarchy.

But I guess loneliness is not a real consequence or something so you must be right in blaming men for being scared of the potential consequences if they don't comply.

The rest of your post feels like it's exploiting plausible deniability rather than actually making a point and I'm not in the mood to deal with that so I won't.

szclimber · 2024-03-05T13:40:57+00:00

Why do poor people get mad at rich people?

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HODL_monk · 2024-03-05T16:04:53+00:00

There is plenty of anger to go around, Usually Chad pops into the Redpill to sell the rest of us his PUA course, you know, so we can pay his child support for him, and he wants us to hate the women (and ourselves) and not him, so he can sell us more courses on how to be alpha and confident like he is, and manipulate those female dogs into doing what we want. Its actually a lot like the inflation problem, if you think about it. The problem with personal relations is a lot like money, its so unclear what the root cause is, its just as easy easy to blame women, as it is to blame greedy companies, but the situation is not so simple, and there is no easy solution to either problem, no matter if people say there is an easy answer. At the end of the day, redpill guys just want someone else to blame, and women are an easy target. We do also blame weak men, who we call Simps, but at the end of the day, wanting sex is our nature, so its hard to blame other men for wanting sex, when most of US want sex too. Clearly if every man went on sex strike a few women might be more interested in us, but that is like living in a pure communism. Its so far from our base nature that there is no way it could ever happen.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-03-05T18:29:38+00:00

I imagine there are several possible reasons for this.

They're bitter that they can't be the dudes getting laid left, right, and center. I'm sure a lot of the guys complaining about the state of dating wouldn't complain as much if they were attractive and had a lot of options.
It's hard to admit to yourself that you might suck in some regard. Maybe you're not the best looking, maybe you're kinda bland, maybe you're boring or unpleasant to be around for long periods of time in some way. I get it, I didn't want to admit my faults either, and they just caused me trouble. It's easier to shift the negative feelings to someone else - it's not me who is XYZ, it's all these other people who can't appreciate how awesome I actually am.
Some guys probably do think women should be much more benevolent and give them a chance, and when that doesn't happen, they get upset. They're probably willing to give some ugly/fat/unpleasant girl a chance, so why shouldn't women do the same for men? But going back to Point 1, if they had the option to date all the attractive women they were actually interested in, they wouldn't be giving the meh women any chances either.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-03-05T21:52:52+00:00

There’s not much room for anger or morality in any of this once you get used to it. The manosphere and its predecessors exist because there is always a steady stream of guys getting smacked with this in the face. Or at least since the 70s.

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-03-05T23:19:46+00:00

Because naturally women are the sexual selectors, men are the pursuers. You can't change this, it's biology.

Sillysheila · 2024-03-06T00:46:55+00:00

I don’t know if it’s that, I think they’re upset because women don’t exercise their options immediately or they perceive them as “ungrateful” to have so many options. But they misunderstand gender differences.

Women don’t care about having 100,000 options. They care about having a good partner, or one nice option, because having no standards as a woman is a horrible strategy. Letting someone or letting society just walk all over you because you want a baby or to get married has worked out horribly for women in the past.

Bear in mind here, I am not saying that no women ever have unrealistic standards either. Sprinkle sprinkle ladies that want men to do everything for them and magically earn 250k-300k I find cringey as well. But tying yourself to a NEET with no future that have no sexual attraction to and you have opposite values with is a bad idea.

Women also don’t have as high of a sex drive, or naturally prize a lot of men finding them sexy as a part of their self esteem as much as men do the opposite.

It’s just kind of perplexing. I feel like these guys expect women to act like men, despite saying that they “believe in gender differences more than blue pillers”. They also expect other things, like women wanting to screw them on the spot, because they view spontaneous sex drive as the only “true” form of sexual attraction, despite the mountains of research that says that female sex drive does not work like this.

flipsidetroll · 2024-03-06T03:21:09+00:00

I disagree with labelling any men low tier. Exactly what the manosphere does because those men NEED to feel superior to other men. And NEED to show they are popular to women.

Look, I know my looks are average so I know they are talking crap. But the sad thing about trp is how it convinces men they are inferior. Feminists don’t need to do anything to put men down. The manosphere does all the work for them and they just run with it.

MassiveAd1026 · 2024-03-06T03:37:17+00:00

Why is there so much angst among low-tier men? Are you serious with that question. The low-tier men are those men that don't have any values or integrity. They are the players, womanizers, and pimps that women love so much.

No one is saying that women have to give everyone a chance. How about just selecting men based on who would be a good husband and father. Not all men want a Long-term relationship or kids, some don't even believe in monogamy. Women don't know how to choose quality men. All their standards are superficial.

JollyRoger66689 · 2024-03-06T08:07:01+00:00

Who is mad at women for simply having options? I can't say I have heard any men be mad at women for that.

They get mad at women choosing the wrong men due to what they value most/more or shooting out of their league and then shit talking men in general and acting like it's not their own behavior and choices causing them problems

forthetinderelllas · 2024-03-06T10:17:09+00:00

This is something I’ve started to bring up in men’s spaces. A lot of frustrated men like to blame women for simply exercising their options, but the reality is its the men at the top who can’t keep in their pants, thereby skewing the rest of the dating market.

fizeekfriday · 2024-03-06T14:58:48+00:00

Because a million dudes have the experience of being someone who may be broke but will be a good partner, just to be overlooked for a dude who is legit a scammer/drug dealer/career criminal.

Someone who literally provides zero benefits to society as a whole, and women have zero issue curling up with these dudes and having their children and then trying to circle the block to get someone to raise their bastard children.

It’d be one thing if it was like a lil fwb situation. But no, these are the chicks that will make the “good guys” wait and then legitimately let a bum fuck them raw and get them pregnant. There’s no amount of mental gymnastics to get around how retarded it is.

Now if we’re talking about 2 guys who have the same relationship value and they just have different amounts of money, most guys will accept, hey he’s the better option.

DapperDan1929 · 2024-03-06T16:50:14+00:00

Did you mean “broth”? 😂

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-03-06T23:10:00+00:00

The manosphere is constantly pumping out anti-simp and anti-white-knight rhetoric... It's honestly surprising you haven't seen it.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-03-05T15:05:07+00:00

The anger is at women who date above their league and then settle down with betas in their 30's, any other anger is not really justified

Spicy_take · 2024-03-05T15:21:30+00:00

Because simps will always exist. There’s no point in trying to stop them because they’re already the lowest on the todem pole. The worst thing they can do is exist the way they do in perpetuity, so there’s minimal leverage to get them to do anything.

Recording_Important · 2024-03-05T13:08:45+00:00

Im not angry. Nobody owes anybody anything.

PartyPony4hunnid · 2024-03-05T14:02:17+00:00

Your right, Simps ruined the dating game. I say this all the time and im surprised there’s no backlash against them

FreitasAlan · 2024-03-05T14:27:27+00:00

That’s silly. It’s all voluntary. There’s no one to blame between the men and the women voluntarily having sex. For all we know, this could lead to marriage with beautiful children. They’re giving each other the option to be together. Trying to blame anyone here is an unhealthy mentality.

This also makes it sounds like men don’t have standards. Men have standards and many men and women are voluntarily single. The difference is the women has standards for sex and men have standards for commitment. For obvious reasons: in any species eggs are more valuable than sperm and men tend to bear the cost of providing in a relationship.

The conflict start when women have no standards for sex and commitment while some men have no standard for sex. She might use sex to try to keep him around later but it’s impossible for that to work for all women because these same men are in polygamous relationships with these women.

Some other men might complain in their 30s that they don’t want to be the betabux at this point either because the risk in marriage would be huge and also emotional reasons. So many prefer to end up single.

So it’s childish to try to frame it as women’s or men’s fault. These two groups of men are not in the same team at all. There are also reasonably well defined groups of women who haven’t joined this hookup culture either.

I don’t think people are saying it’s women’s fault in the first part of the interaction up to sex. But many men and women are pointing problems in the dynamics that have many women chasing few men, leading to impossible long term relationships for most, unstable relationships for many, most children being raised without both parents, and 25%+ of people over 40 single and childless.

WANT_SOME_HAM · 2024-03-05T15:41:31+00:00

Because they're really selfish, suck at math, and view other people exclusively as projections of their own insecurities

Barely-moral · 2024-03-05T16:56:42+00:00

they're mad at the WOMEN for being given options, rather at the men for GIVING them those options in the first place.

I am disgusted at the fact that women with options create an incentive structure that rewards other traits over morality.

But why? In this premise, the woman isn't doing anything other than existing. That's the COMPLAINT - that women don't have to do anything other than exist for men to want them.

Because every adult is responsible for the incentive structures they create. Humans that are desired and have options have more impact in the world because their decisions are an incentive for many people.

How it's unfair that men have to work to try and MEET STANDARDS while men apparently have no standards and "don't have the luxury" to be picky.

Switching topic to fairness. It is unfair because two humans have different experiences for the sex they are born with.

...how is this the fault of women?

In the same way it is men's fault when men use the advantages that come from their biology to give women a different treatment/life than the one men get.

What could women even do to AVOID this?

The same thing men are supposed to do. Use their advantages to at least attempt to give every human the same kind of life k matter their gender/sex.

Should they "give every man" a chance?

That would be a way.

Should they avoid ALL MEN and try to RUN AWAY from these options so that they can't explore them?

That would be another way.

Should they try and become as unpleasant as the blackpillers so that people find them all equally unattractive and NO ONE dates?

That would be another way.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-05T15:27:17+00:00

Many years ago I was in the job market and started visiting some job hunting related forums to get some encouragement and interview prep ideas.

Needless to say, the forums were full of complainers talking about how the real unemployment rate was actually triple the official one, how no one was hiring, how unrealistic employers are, blah blah blah. We are talking about a time the unemployment rate was 4-5%, which is pretty reasonable.

My point is, there will always be people who will lame everything and everyone but themselves. Even when there are scores of other people who are clearly successful at the thing they want to accomplish. In the same way, guys are complaining about women having options and men being desperate and sexless, but who are all these women having sex and relationships with? Are they fucking each other, some alien race, a third sex we didn't know about or some large farm animals? Clearly, they are fucking men. So there are plenty of men who are clearly successful at getting sex and relationships. And if all these women have so many choices and are fucking multiple men at the same time, doesn't this mean there are multiple men who are getting laid?

See, unsuccessful and negative people will always find a way to blame their lack of success on external phenomena. But they will never see the light until they remove themselves emotionally from the process and are able to objectively examine the problems that are keeping them from success.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-03-05T18:20:53+00:00

i think simps with no standards (for LTRs) are the biggest losers among men, i have zero respect for these guys. they are not really desired by women for the most part though, and i think they deserve being the beta provider chump with a dead bedroom if i'm being honest. but having low standards for casual encounters is fairly understandable from a male pov, even though it's not my thing personally.

imo it's pretty clear that plenty of women conflate sexual interest with relationship interest. like they hook up with some hot guys they meet on dating apps, then think that's the caliber of men they qualify for when it comes to commitment. i'm not 'mad' at these women, i just think they're delusional. i never understood how women get validation through sex, lots of dudes would bang just about anything with a pulse. your league is the men who are willing to commit to you.

8won6 · 2024-03-05T20:57:48+00:00

Men are looking at it from a perspective of "if i had that many choices, i would easily find a wife". It's men viewing it from the perspective of literally living with limited/zero choices.

We see it as women wasting their "good years" not being serious about dating/marriage. I'd say a huge portion of women have never not had choices in dating, but they go around acting like they have it just as hard as an average guy with zero choices.

It's like watching a rich person complain about money problems to blue collar/broke people.

serpensmercurialis · 2024-03-05T21:39:32+00:00

They're not mad that she has options. They're mad that she's rejecting him. They could be mad at other men, and sometimes they are. But the personal experiences they ruminate on that make them angry are of women rejecting them or the possibility of women rejecting them. The emotional salience of the topic isn't from being alone or being sexless per se, but from the experience of being rejected. Which isn't something done by those other men in a romantic context. Once you accept that, the other behavior makes sense. Most of these threads aren't ruminating on "being alone" but ruminating on the experience of rejection. This is somewhat compounded by the fact that for men, more sexual/romantic acceptance = more social acceptance and men are usually the ones expected to risk rejection in romantic relationships. That said, unfortunately this trait is also linked to behaviors and attitudes that negatively impact their relationships even when they are not rejected. So ultimately, the sensitivity itself is largely the issue IMO.

president_at_gmails · 2024-03-06T00:01:01+00:00

What could women even do to AVOID this?

A certain expectation of monogamy solves this equation easily. Good looking men will be taken by good looking women. Mid girls and guys will generally have to match. And nobody wants to be a left over.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-03-06T00:35:13+00:00

What options? I'm seeing record lows in marriage rates and fertility.

It's obvious more and more people are ending up single.

Hubris1998 · 2024-03-05T13:53:56+00:00

Why do you blame thieves for breaking into your house and not yourself for leaving your door unlocked? Why blame your boss for exploiting you and not the government for allowing him to do so? Having a lot of options doesn't justify acting like a stuck-up prick. Conversely, being good because you don't have the option of being bad doesn't make you a good guy.

izoldetales · 2024-03-05T13:32:01+00:00

No one is mad at women for having options , but the way women still fail to end up in a stable healthy relationship altough they have a lot of OPTIONS is what a lot of people (not just the manosphere ) can't grasp especially after women's constant attempt to put the blame on the " OPTIONS " ( where all the good men go) . A lot of men here have a harsher reaction towards men for doing the same thing . If a man is complaining about how all his 30 exes were toxic he would get the same answer which is :" HE IS THE PROBLEM " .

I may even say that blue pillers and women are the one mad about some men having a lot of options and still don't want to commit. The way they jump at the conclusion that the man is a fuckboy just cause he is good looking. No men even think a woman is a slut cause she is attractive, so maybe think about your post before writing non sense cause the amount of times I see people trying to attribute a bad behaviour to men when women clearly do it more just mean people don't want to criticise women and just use men as a bridge.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2024-03-05T14:31:38+00:00

Enlightened RP men don't get upset about it all. We just adjust our strategies according to the reality of Evo Psych as it plays out under dominant Feminism in the West.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-03-05T18:44:26+00:00

Because they're indulging in self pity and they're going to think unproductive thoughts while in this mindset.

Eventually guys need to grow up and just accept reality for what it is, see that life will not always be "fair" and that it's no individual's fault (man or woman), and just do what's best for them given the circumstances. Not all guys get out of the anger/self pity phase.

Brazuca0 · 2024-03-05T19:24:39+00:00

But they do, dont they?

Even before the whole pill BS started, losers in school were always salty about jocks getting all the bitches

I mean, there is a whole trope of "revenge of the nerds" in pop culture, where the loser because a badass and the jock is now cleaning toilets or something similar.

That's them resenting men who do better than them with women

Title	Why Do Manosphere Dudes Get Mad At Women Having Options Instead of Other Men for GIVING Them Those Options?
Author	Gravel_Roads
Upvotes	63
Comments	339
Date	March 5, 2024 12:49 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b74eu4/why_do_manosphere_dudes_get_mad_at_women_having/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-manosphere-dudes-get-mad-at-women-having.1426450 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426450

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