Society and women definitely equate being unable to attract a woman with being a loser

Unable_Evidence_4028 · 2024-07-31T21:29:59+00:00

Many women may not want to admit it. But they know how the male sex drive is times bigger than women's. and thats why male insults all revolve around not being able to get sex. it is funny even. it makes it seem they think no women have anything else to offe rbesides sex.

DumbWordsmith · 2024-07-31T14:35:50+00:00

IMO as long as you're fun to be around and good at what you do, nobody worth a shit really cares about your relationship status. The worst most people can do is crack some jokes at your expense or try to elicit a response from you.

The average adult is an overweight dopamine addict in a mediocre marriage. So why should a "loser" care?

High school ends when you stop taking the opinions of other people so personally.

Women (and men) will often throw around "real man" and "loser" to try to manipulate you or go an ego trip. As long as you know you're taking care of business (and only you can really know that), none of that should have an effect on you.

Ok_Landscape_592 · 2024-07-31T17:39:23+00:00

The bad part isn't necessarily placing a premium on succeeding with women, it's shaming struggling men for being obsessed with sex or "scoring" i.e. 'sex is just sex', lecturing men about toxic masculinity, while making virgin jokes about the men they disagree with or dislike.

2024-08-01T03:10:45+00:00

The best solution is quit the game

To engage in dating you have to be constantly proving yourself to please women who barely appreciate your company

I stopped dating altogether and never felt better

Plazmatron44 · 2024-07-31T15:46:36+00:00

Women are always going to try and shame men for not acting in women's interests, most of the hate red pill gets is really because it serves men's interests and therefore is "misogynist", that's why men can't win so to speak.

Feisty_Response_9401 · 2024-07-31T19:44:39+00:00

There are many pressures for men to find a partner:

Most social settings only invite partnered men.
The government wants men to have a reason to make a profit and pay more taxes. That is why they are freaking out about people not having many kids (to be fair, it is a valid reason to freak out if the whole system relies on younger labor).
Sexual individual desire.

KGmagic52 · 2024-07-31T12:27:57+00:00

Yup. That's why women use men's sexual prowess, or lack thereof as an insult when they want to be hurtful.

TraditionalPen2076 · 2024-07-31T12:46:05+00:00

If you have enough money to get a young woman or be a passport bro you are already winning in life. Why exactly would you care about what the clowns on 2x think about that? The people who can do that are doing it as it is fully legal and you over here are "defending their honor" without them even knowing you exist. Don't you see how dumb this is?

brilliant22 · 2024-07-31T12:44:24+00:00

What's interesting is that insulting women via the opposite (sex with too many men) actually enforces the same idea suggested by OP because it implies that having sex with MEN makes you worse off. Having sex with women make you better off, so if that's not happening to you then = loser. Having sex with men makes you worse off so if that IS happening to you then = loser.

I think a lot of men try to get back at women by slut-shaming them in return but what they really should be doing is use the same insult. If they suggest you can't attract women then you should be suggesting they can't attract men -- not that they attract too many men.

modidlee · 2024-08-01T00:12:07+00:00

Being in a relationship nowadays isn't really a flex imo. Most of the people I know in relationships are putting up with a lot of BS. Disrespect, cheating, flirting, etc. Oftentimes the difference between the person in a relationship and the one that isn't is that the person not in a relationship wasn't willing to put up with the BS.

geo_gan · 2024-07-31T20:19:28+00:00

Just more standard control & shaming tactics from older women to get what they want - the men who can get younger women.

hongsta2285 · 2024-07-31T13:10:42+00:00

People judge men if they can't attract a woman

People judge women that can't even keep a man aka get married

Horses for courses and courses for horses same shite same problems

Bewpadewp · 2024-07-31T15:13:26+00:00

if you're just realizing "men bad" is a popular rhetoric, idk what to tell you.

women love hating men almost as much as we love avoiding accountability.

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-07-31T16:49:19+00:00

why do you care about what random people think of your dating life? most of them ain't shit anyway. the guy who dates young or foreign women (or both) does not care what some 35 year old feminist in the west and her husband think of him. you shouldn't either.

i look at judgement the same way i do at taking advice. if it comes from people who i don't respect or want to be with/be like, it's irrelevant. these shaming tactics only have power if you give it to them.

OffTheRedSand · 2024-07-31T12:24:47+00:00

it depends on how you carry yourself tho. you could be single and sexually active. no one is gonna bat an eye on that, and if you're a virgin you don't have to tell others this, only really close friends you know won't judge.

i don't like calling people names but the term "loser" is more on how you carry yourself. a virgin dude who's nice and everyone love him who just haven't found the right girl yet is not seen as a loser.
and if your friends are calling you that for being a virgin or single then you need better friends.

thumpsky · 2024-07-31T14:59:10+00:00

women are once again valuing themselves WAY TOO HIGHLY.

I know a guy who has overdose on fent three times, has 8 kids (several different moms) but because he'll hit on anything with a pulse, he's never without a GF.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-31T13:42:40+00:00

Just from being on this sub, the dudes here complaining aren’t venting about “slight frustrations,” but have a laundry list of complaints and consistent problems with dating and attracting women.

FrederickRoders · 2024-07-31T13:37:36+00:00

Applying stereotypes, even if they have a base of truth in them, to everybody is a recipe for disaster. Nobody is a 1:1 copy of one another so expecting or implying everyone likes/hates X and likes Y is factually just wrong. Yes people are like that, no you cant assume everybody is. I cant think of a reason why I'd want to date a horrible lady like such anyway and for sure there are always alternatives for me. I understand the frustrations of people on this subreddit most of the time, but the best thought is to realise everybody, literally everybody, is different. When girls stereotype us men dont you also feel like they are discriminating against you? Its the exact same thing here. Nobody is the same as the other simply because they are male or female. I mean I dont agree with how Andrew Tate tells us men how to date females, why should women all agree about how to date men to whatever <insert standard>. Not worth your time and energy. Most of all this comes down to our own insecurities and not realising that people that terrible groups people are just not worth dating anyway, which should be a benefit to you instead of a problem. Let shitty people go under by their own shittiness if they refuse to learn..

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-07-31T14:08:23+00:00

If society was consistent, women unable to maintain a LTR, dating fuckups, ending up being single mothers etc would fall into this category even more so.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-07-31T12:34:32+00:00

It sounds like you have a group of "women" who represent SOCIETY that live in your head and keep calling you a loser.

In my social circles, we don't call people loser at all, because that's rude. But if we go by your premise, that "SOCIETY and women" are calling men "losers", then what you mean is just "society" is calling men losers and it's weird that you singled out women as unique.

Obviously, the answer is "each person should define for themselves what they want to do".

man expresses the slightest frustration about being single: “loser no woman wants”

Some people say that. Some people will try to give him advice (which also won't work), some will try to set him up with friends (which also doesn't work), and some people chose to do nothing at all, which will also make him upset because it feels like no one has empathy for him. Which he'll also complain about.

man has a girlfriend but [insert personally defined inappropriate age gap]: “loser who can’t get a woman his age

Some people will look down on him. Some people will not care, some people will be impressed, some people will be disgusted but not say anything.

man has girlfriend but she’s from [insert country] “passport bro who is a loser back at home”

Bro, people have been marrying foreign women since before our country existed. If you are married to a foreign woman, people will assume you met through normal means like "I was living in her country". Generally, the dudes who call themselves "passport bros" are pretty open that they're just looking for poor women to get sex from. Which... generally they do because they CAN'T get women back home. So the accusation is generally accurate, and these dudes are proclaiming it loudly.

attendquoi · 2024-07-31T12:40:38+00:00

If a man is complaining to me about being single, I'll offer actionable advice assuming I know him well. If I don't know him well, I'll wonder why the fuck he's even speaking to me about it. In either case, though, let's not be stupid: men want sex, not sympathy.
I'd say creep sooner than loser.
See above.

Sunshine12e · 2024-07-31T15:02:30+00:00

The only person who can decide whether or not they are a loser, is one's self. Does the person have anything else that is important to them? Are they doing any good for anyone or anything? Any sort of accomplishments that they are proud of? I am sure that there are plenty of mate-less people who are engrossed in their own lives and do not consider themselves to be losers.

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-07-31T15:10:49+00:00

So are homosexual, asexual men losers?

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-07-31T15:52:56+00:00

If you're trying to get the acquisition of a significant other to solve or at least not complicate all your problems of reputation and status oh do I have news for you...every new family member is an opportunity for public mortification.

This is just how it is. People got opinions.

EugeneCezanne · 2024-07-31T16:02:02+00:00

I think there are nuances to this common enough not to be overlooked. It's less that society judges men who can't attract women and more than society judges the reasons why men can't attract women. For example:

man expresses the slightest frustration about being single:

Have you ever seen what happens when a tall, handsome, charming, rich man expresses his frustration at being single? No one judges him. The implicit assumption is that he has deservedly high standards and it's hard for women to live up to them. People tell him to be patient, or else they enthusiastically try to set him up.

The problem is that if you're not That Guy, people may zero in on whatever qualities of his you're lacking.

man has a girlfriend but [insert personally defined inappropriate age gap]: “loser who can’t get a woman his age

This one is funny, because it doesn't meaningfully affect the happiness of the man in question in any way. Also, society is clearly divided on this issue: some will hate on him for it; others will high-five him for fulfilling what many consider a masculine ideal.

Younger women are, at least according to all the research, the most desired, and thus and most competitive, market, after all.

man has girlfriend but she’s from [insert country] “loser back at home passport bro”

To be fair, the "passport bro" movement is, by their own frequent admission, driven largely by an inability to attract women at home. I know this isn't always the case. There are some men who are attractive, but simply looking for something outside of modern, western values. But let's not kid ourselves: this wouldn't be so trendy if it didn't also seem to offer hope, or cope, for men who just aren't competing where they live.

Modest solution: men should have two girlfriends; one from their country who's 10 years younger and one their age from another country. Both narratives cancel each other out!

ArtiqueMind · 2024-07-31T20:56:11+00:00

I don’t know too many attractive men having issues getting women, so it has to be true.

StatusSnow · 2024-08-01T03:40:40+00:00

Does this not go both ways though? All the comments about cat ladies and women who are single after 30+ would beg to differ.

just_a_place · 2024-08-01T06:07:17+00:00

Jesus , Buddha, and Confucius are the biggest losers in history then.

SlashCo80 · 2024-08-01T09:19:40+00:00

I'm sure some women do that, and a lot of men do it too. Many men are ridiculously arrogant/competitive and willing to look down on others for all sorts of reasons, from income to being able to get women.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-08-01T14:15:51+00:00

there's a difference between being able to have dates and casual relationships and not having the ability to even get a date period. most folks who are in long term relationships want to go do things with other couples in long term relationships. its an indirect "hey we relate and can do stuff together" vs oh you are single and we are a couple. we want to do couple things, not single people things. the real winners are the couples who are open to being social with their couple and single and causal dating friends not eliminating their social group due to relationship status

kendall4 · 2024-08-01T18:43:04+00:00

The last 2 have some truth to it, that's the problem. 1 could have truth, or it could just be a man venting frustrations (which should totally be allowed without holding it against him). But those stereotypes exist for a reason, just make sure its not you. Lots of guys try to go for younger women so they have money, experience, and power over them. Lots of guys go for foreign women who want a passport because, again, they have something over them. It may not be controlling, it might just be insecure and feeling like they have some intrinsic value that the woman wants beyond personality and looks can be comforting to that insecurity.

It's very possible for an age gap or passport marriage to he healthy and happy. It just has some obvious struggles and implications.

Your overall point that someone's value should not be associated with whether they can get a partner is very true. Especially when people judge you based off of the attractiveness of your partner, or to women, the status/wealth of their partner.

Boxisteph · 2024-08-07T05:06:35+00:00

I don't disagree with 1, 2 or 3.

I disagree that its about getting laid. If you're still on the whole I need a woman to validate my manhood arc of life...loser

solstice-sky · 2024-07-31T13:59:48+00:00

skirt nutty chubby quickest obtainable ghost chase elastic narrow squeamish

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

John_Oakman · 2024-07-31T12:15:49+00:00

Have those males in question accomplished anything else of note in life? Or did they intrude upon the social harmony without provocation?

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-07-31T12:55:35+00:00

man expresses the slightest frustration about being single

Is that what we’re calling being a misogynistic jackass now? r/NiceGuys and incels forums show why thats the case.

man has a girlfriend but [insert personally defined inappropriate age gap]: “loser who can’t get a woman his age

Because that’s usually the case.

man has girlfriend but she’s from [insert country] “loser back at home passport bro”

Because these guys admit they don’t do well with women in their country and want to be fetishized by foreign women.

high school really doesn’t seem to end

Highschool ending doesn’t excuse a guy to act like a creepy jackass.

flipsidetroll · 2024-07-31T13:43:50+00:00

Babybrain!! I love your tenacity. You just keep trying to hold onto your bias and prove it to others, despite constantly failing. You are the little engine that tried. Gotta admire that.

So SOCIETY doesn’t label men losers for what you say above, MEN do.

Proof? Watch redpillers. Let’s take Jeff Bezos. One of the richest men in the world. He doesn’t give two tin shits what you idiots think of him. But Rollo, Richard, Donovan, and many more, have all labeled him a beta. Why? Because he first got divorced and gave his ex a lot of money. Then he got a hot girlfriend who is also divorced, and is now engaged to her. So they think it’s only because he has money. Can you see it, Babybrain, can you?

Of course, all of those men are wildly unattractive themselves so other men can too label them anything if they get girlfriends. But, I’m hoping you see how much behavior you blame on women or society, when it’s actually men who do that behaviour the most. I don’t give a shit who Jeff bezos dates. I don’t give a shit who anyone dates. As long as they are happy and not being used. But even then, sometimes they know and don’t care. And it’s nobody’s business. Open your eyes.

operation-spot · 2024-07-31T21:27:43+00:00

Anyone can be a loser including people in relationships so it’s not sexual history but behavior that makes someone unattractive.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-07-31T13:20:26+00:00

That may be somewhat accurate if forced to share an opinion, but the truth is, unfortunately, going to upset you even more:

Women don't think men who can't attract women are losers. 95%+ of the time, we don't have an opinion about them because we aren't thinking about them at all

Most people, of any gender, only think about the lives of people who are consequential to us; and random people (including those who can't get dates) are the very definition of inconsequential

apresonly · 2024-07-31T17:33:03+00:00

and single women are cat ladies (losers)

it goes both ways

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-07-31T12:21:46+00:00

How is 2 bad?

Man has a girlfriend who is years younger is a winner in every way? That’s only bitter feminists saying he’s a loser when the reality is as follows:

Man dates woman 10yrs younger than his age as he’s zero interest in washed up women his age which makes him a winner/successful etc

Jello_Vivid · 2024-07-31T14:03:29+00:00

Society will judge but you have the choice to not care about that judgement otherwise you just become an NPC. You should try and do what makes you happy as long as it doesn't harm others who cares about what society thinks.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-07-31T18:35:28+00:00

As they should (except the age gap thing - unattractive 30s 40s are even more unattractive than when they were 28.. why would young girls go for them?)

mixedmartialstoner · 2024-08-01T04:23:58+00:00

Wrong. A guy that can attract a younger woman definitely has women his own age that he has disqualified already because she is aging relative to younger, hotter, more fertile and more innocent (insert 'less trauma/baggage/headaches') girls.

A guy who can't get younger girls often will not get girls at all, or lacks Daddy energy. Which will eventually turn off girls his age as well.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-07-31T14:32:55+00:00

People judge men for reasons. People judge women for reasons. Que sera sera.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-07-31T13:06:19+00:00

man expresses the slightest frustration about being single: “loser no woman wants”

Buuuuuuuullshit. We have all been here long enough to see the hateful, vitriolic things that are said are not "the slightest frustration."

man has a girlfriend but [insert personally defined inappropriate age gap]: “loser who can’t get a woman his age

I'm pretty sure they're called creeps, not losers, but what a weird way to try and defend age gap relationships.

man has girlfriend but she’s from [insert country] “passport bro who is a loser back at home”

Once again deflecting from the actual criticism being made.

Every single example you gave is a reductive distortion of the criticism being made in each situation.

"Slightest frustration" except it's not the slightest frustration, it's a constant torrent of misogynistic and hateful rhetoric, constructing elaborate conspiracy theories to explain how women are shallow, awful humans cruelly denying men access to sex and relationships.

"Age gap relationships" have been exhaustively discussed, the primary concern is surrounding people who intentionally target partners in their teens and early 20s due to the high risk of manipulation, coercion, and abuse.

"Passport bros" have also been exhaustively discussed, and the concern, quite clearly, is the fetishism of Asian countries and exploitation of poor women.

You're intentionally misrepresenting the arguments being made to position the men here as victims. It's pretty gross.

Downtown_Cat_1173 · 2024-07-31T12:50:20+00:00

If you come on here spewing vitriol about 80/20 and hypergamy, then yeah

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-07-31T13:43:04+00:00

Usually men gather together and support undateable men and women have sympathy for them despite not dating them.

Undateable women though? Men mock and insult them. Gorlock the destroyer managed to make herself a multi millionaire off of men mocking her.

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Bekiala · 2024-07-31T14:20:38+00:00

Of course some women are like that maybe more often young women but many aren't.

There are many ways I see people as losers but these aren't them. (Some age gap relationships sometimes seem to be pursued by losers but some aren't)

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-07-31T14:30:14+00:00

All three of these are literally internet memes.

In real life real people talk to their real friends or friends of friends to better understand what’s really going on.

Come on

Old_Luck285 · 2024-07-31T14:54:10+00:00

Yes, and that's what a men's rights movement should try to change.

But the people currently claiming to be the voice of men do the exact opposite, perpetuating the steretype.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-31T15:50:06+00:00

I assure you that men also judge men

And women and men also judge and criticize single women

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-08-01T22:46:13+00:00

I valued someone who isn't desperate to get into relationships and is selective (like my husband was) and respect men like this now. Just me though

BananaB0yy · 2024-08-02T18:06:16+00:00

its a good indicator as woman naturally favor winners, so no women means loser in some way or another

DoinIt989 · 2024-07-31T13:42:37+00:00

Being unable to attract women does make you a loser though. A lot of guys won't just own up to that

soundslikebliss · 2024-07-31T13:04:13+00:00

Does name calling perturb you and your ability to give your gift?

Trouvette · 2024-07-31T14:07:14+00:00

The irony, of course being that it would not have occurred to anyone to think of those guys as losers until they started projecting their anger about it.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-07-31T14:15:08+00:00

[ Removed by Reddit ]

obviousredflag · 2024-08-02T18:53:05+00:00

Dude, only you think about yourself as a loser. We don't fucking care if you have a girlfriend or not.

Title	Society and women definitely equate being unable to attract a woman with being a loser
Author	Babyface_Bogart
Upvotes	290
Comments	447
Date	July 31, 2024 12:13 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1eglmfs/society_and_women_definitely_equate_being_unable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/society-and-women-definitely-equate-being-unable.1525880 https://theredarchive.com/post/1525880

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