Average guys are expected to abide different rules when it comes to dating

2025-07-22T18:07:23+00:00

Pretty privilege exists.

Pumpiyumpyyumpkin · 2025-07-22T18:00:44+00:00

If someone makes it a bit easier for you than he or she usually does with others, it just means he or she likes you. That's just how it is.

Lets be honest, if you're with a woman you find more attractive, you'll be more tolerating and considerate of her than with a woman you are not much attracted with.

At the end of the day, attraction is different for everybody. It's a personal preference and you can't force nor question what a person likes or dislikes. To each his own.

aleknovy · 2025-07-23T10:36:29+00:00

It seems everyone has reading comprehension issues, or purposefully twisting what the OP was saying.

He didn't merely say that people are more forgiving. The exact same behavior is seen as SEXY or creepy based on who's doing it.

Like it's not just that she forgives the one guy when he does it. She proactively labels it hot and sexy behavior when he does it. But creepy when the other guy does.

Shes not merely tolerating it, but proactively labelling it the opposite way.

bluestjuice · 2025-07-22T17:59:00+00:00

Hot people get away with shit that average people cannot get away with.

Yes. Next?

Successful_Oil4974 · 2025-07-23T03:02:06+00:00

The difference is:

Average guy respects her.

Bad boy gives zero fucks. He might be a psychopath. He has absolutely no problem saying and doing whatever because he'll just do the same shit to another chick and then another until he gets what he wants.

It's the same with women. Go hang around strippers and hookers and they're just as shitty as the badboy stereotypes are.

hostility_kitty · 2025-07-22T17:55:05+00:00

This applies to women too. Men will put up with a lot of craziness for good pussy. Just how the world works.

Equivalent_Abies817 · 2025-07-22T21:03:51+00:00

This is why you only deal with high interest women. If shes adding friction into the interaction, send her packing

Traditional_Lab1192 · 2025-07-22T20:12:48+00:00

Dude all you did was describe pretty privilege. No shit that attractive people get away with more. Men also treat beautiful women better than women who they don’t find attractive. You should see how my fat friends get treated

Any-Basis-3725 · 2025-07-22T19:04:17+00:00

Lots of deniers and dismissers in the comments.

KayRay1994 · 2025-07-22T17:47:27+00:00

Wow when someone is more attracted to someone else, they’re more lenient about their behaviour towards them. Mind shattering revelation here

These posts never fail to crack me up cause they act like the idea of being attracted to someone and acting accordingly is novel

Also… none of these are ‘rules’

-Kalos · 2025-07-22T17:49:44+00:00

Do you treat all women the same lol?

None of you ever look at it from the other perspective. Because you’ve never experienced it.

I know you’re all “red pill Chad alphas” on here but I’ve definitely given more leeway to more attractive women.

DGenerationMC · 2025-07-22T18:49:25+00:00

I don't think it's cut and dry as "average guy vs. badboy," but ok.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-07-22T17:57:45+00:00

At what point do we let go the idea that any guy who gets the girl is a "badboy"?

The way you all describe dynamics is strange. Being hot and getting the girl doesn't make you bad, that's just simply knowing game and using your looks to your advantage. There's nothing wrong with that.

Where "average guys" go wrong often times is sucking at the game. You don't kiss on the 1st date because you're awkward about it and scared. Which is also cool, we've all been there and had to learn. A lot of y'all refuse to learn because complaining is easier. All of this is observable by personally knowing men who believe in things like this post.

Tj21040 · 2025-07-22T18:05:00+00:00

I actually agree with this. I’ll keep saying it find the woman who lust for you and wants to give you “Chad” treatment.

toasterchild · 2025-07-22T18:26:43+00:00

Yes, people who go after what they want are much more likely to get it than people who are awkward and uncomfortable about it.

Yes, the confident guy who successfully flirts with his date before going in for the kiss is going to end up with a better response than the nice guy who treats a date like a job interview and goes for a kiss out of nowhere. If you don't get the difference you are likely in catagory #2.

Yes if you make a woman feel like you particularly desire her over other women you could be with it will much more likely to be taken as a compliment over someone who sends the message that they want a woman, and any woman will do.

Yes, if you tell a woman that you finished early because she's so hot you couldn't control yourself and then keep going it will be taken well, but if you awkwardly apologize and then end things it will just be awkward.

If you tell your GF you want to try something new for spice and ask if she could get into it you are more likely to get it than someone who passive aggressively whines about not getting something they think you did for an ex.

GKilat · 2025-07-22T18:58:44+00:00

This is less about average guy vs bad boy and more about compatible vs non-compatible. You are more accepting to advances when you like a person regardless if they are "bad boys" or not. I'm pretty sure even guys would think the same way when it involves girls that they find attractive vs girls that they don't find attractive.

OP should really stop and think for a second about reversing the situation and maybe they would understand why this is the case. In fact, a lot of complaints are easily solved this way through empathy.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-07-22T23:50:29+00:00

Can we please stop pretending this only goes one way? Pretty privilege exists, and this exact same post could’ve been written by a woman, just flipped.

Average girls are expected to abide by different rules when it comes to dating:

• average girl expects you to pay on the first date: “wow, she’s entitled”

• hot girl expects you to pay: “she’s high value and used to being courted”

• average girl flirts boldly: “she’s thirsty”

• hot girl flirts boldly: “she’s confident and knows what she wants”

• average girl posts sexy pics: “she’s desperate for attention”

• hot girl posts sexy pics: “she’s just proud of her body”

• average girl makes a sarcastic joke: “rude and annoying”

• hot girl makes a sarcastic joke: “witty and fun”

• average girl wants commitment: “clingy and unrealistic”

• hot girl wants commitment: “wife material, lock it down”

Hot women get the premium version too. The same exact behaviour gets read totally differently depending on how attractive someone is. It’s not just about gender, it’s about perceived value.

So yes, the double standard is real. But it cuts both ways.

nightcall379 · 2025-07-22T17:51:54+00:00

Hot guys have this 'premium' version of it where being openly sexual sooner is tolerated or seen as the guy being comfortable in his skin and transparent about what he wants from his date, while the average guy is expected to repress his desires while constantly getting scanned for harboring "ulterior" motives: in the end this double bind expectation makes him either seen as too timid and therefore a bore, or a needy nuisance for taking steps too fast.

The problem isn't that women collectively do this

The problem is that they collectively lie about it

Hard_Corsair · 2025-07-22T19:17:34+00:00

Yes, and?

Poor people are expected to follow all the rules, while rich people are allowed to allowed to disregard them when convenient. Should people be angry with the government for failing to enforce evenly, or with the rich assholes that disrespect the laws?

Personally, I think PPD should revolve around having a sexual class war rather than a gender war.

grillopie · 2025-07-22T17:57:57+00:00

an actual average guy has never had this thought. if your pace doesnt match hers, you can either adjust or move on. im a pretty average guy. havent dated tons of girls, but still encountered drastically different degrees of comfortability in terms of what happens on what date. its not about me. its about them. everyone is different.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-07-22T18:30:51+00:00

No, this is just the frankly bizarre red pill belief that if a specific behavior is okay in one circumstances, any similar behavior must be acceptable in all other circumstances.

Redditcritic6666 · 2025-07-22T19:47:52+00:00

Average guy are abiding to the common rules and have the average experience and expectations when it comes to dating. Which was rejection often and have to work really hard and spend a lot of resources to maybe have a chance. However it's not impossible for them to ended up with someone.

The exceptions are the ones who's so good-looking that they only need to text "Hi" to open and women would actually put in effort in their response. It's because of how attractive they are that the girls are waiting and anticipating for them to text and are willing to put into the effect and chance the guy. Hell the girl might even text first because she'll be the one chasing.

The exceptions are also the ones who's rich because he won't be on the app. If he's old money his family make sure their future daughter-in-law has a clean background and won't do something stupid and the same is expected from the male side of things. Their relationship might be even part of a business deal.

If he's self-made he'll know what he wants because he's not dumb either. He can just buy a girl's affection and shower her with stuff until he's bored and leave. He won't become too attached knowing the family court in western society is brutally bias and the divorce process will take him to the cleaners.

The exception are also guys who are smart and might know just have the perfect opener to generate enough traction from the girl. He might have enough friends which will social proof him and make him seem to be the popular guy.

The exceptions are also guys with 6 packs because he trained and worked hard to build up his body.

The idea here is that you need to have a competitive advantage and become exceptional at something. The average will get you nothing because you just don't stand out. or TLDR. Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

Choice-Relative-4546 · 2025-07-22T17:58:36+00:00

The looks which you were largely born with dictate your success with women.

Tall and a good face? You can't lose even if you try to, your red flags turn into fun cherries on top for women, you can straight up play by any rules and succeed, you can play the nice guy, the nerd, the bad boy, autistic ,the redpill hustle bro etc etc. None of that matters and all your traits will spun a positive light if not outright fetishized because you're hot and desirable.

or you may fall in the valley of the average man, you're not hot enough for women to truly desire you, but not ugly enough to be outright deemed a creep or shunned. These men do all sorts of dumb stuff and delude themselves that if they get a personality or copy what the hot guys are doing they'll finally get attention from women or if they make money or status or whatever other cuck stuff like that. At best these ones get settled for after a woman is done having flings with hot men who don't settle for her or serve as a temporary base of stability before a woman starts chasing men she's attracted to.

If you're ugly and/or short then well, it's the polar opposite of the hot guy case. You can do no right in dating. Women won't even consider you tolerable enough to leech off of your money and stability like they do with average looking guys, unless you have lots of it, even then it will never get you even a fraction of true attraction ever.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-07-22T17:47:15+00:00

Average dudes know how to read body language, communicate intentions clearly, and respect boundaries.

Don’t be theorizing average guys into this “woe is me” bullshit.

Generally_Confused1 · 2025-07-22T17:52:26+00:00

Touch grass lol. And it's plenty possible to be a more "average" guy and escalate sexually as well, this is so weird. Take time off these forums dude and just try to connect with people

2025-07-22T19:23:43+00:00

So why not just change the rules of engagement?

WanabeInflatable · 2025-07-22T20:34:48+00:00

So, you see this game is rigged. Why are you still trying to play?

Turbulent-Company373 · 2025-07-22T21:18:21+00:00

It would be interesting to make a skit/play based on these two different reactions by one person. A youtube video?

rando_dud · 2025-07-22T22:37:23+00:00

This is also true for women - everyone gets treated differently based on their attractiveness.

musicissoulfood · 2025-07-23T14:53:00+00:00

That's why you dump these women faster than they can gold dig if they are not making your life real easy. Anything but an enthusiastic 'yes' means she is settling for you and will make your life a living hell if you tolerate being settled for.

Thin_Ad_9043 · 2025-07-23T20:05:04+00:00

😂😂😂 true

PercentageDazzling41 · 2025-07-25T04:07:36+00:00

Can really just replace badboy with "sexually attracted to". I feel "badboy" is too much of an obfuscation in these examples. Simply acting in ways completely opposite to what lands you in the friend zone is exactly what pushes you into the bad boy zone. Usually the biggest detractor, assuming she doesn't find you completely unattractive, is how much she respects you.

badboy cums too fast "my body made him lose control which is kinda hot"

I have zero doubt this doesn't happen if her momentum gets broken. Or results in her feeling unsatisfied.

muramx · 2025-07-29T08:53:56+00:00

The only thing between flirting and sexual harassment is if the intended target thinks you are attractive or not.

relish5k · 2025-07-22T19:15:06+00:00

what you call average guy / badboy most women would call “guy im not really attracted to / guy im attracted to”. people want to do sexy stuff with people they are attracted to

men are attracted to a wider swath of women than men. but different women have different taste in men - the very top and very bottom may be consistently appealing /unappealing but there’s a lot of flexibility with attraction in the middle

ta06012022 · 2025-07-22T21:36:29+00:00

Are you a bot?

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16v9wb9/even_when_it_comes_to_relationships_hot_guys_have/

TinyFlamingo2147 · 2025-07-22T17:47:15+00:00

Different women have different preferences and expectations when it comes to sex. Wow.

I'm sorry, what exactly is the issue here? Should every woman spread her legs equally like a good brothel girl?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-07-22T17:50:08+00:00

And why is this an issue?

InkAddict718 · 2025-07-22T19:46:26+00:00

Attractive people are treated better and get away with poor behavior. More at 11…

anewleaf1234 · 2025-07-23T02:16:41+00:00

Do you have social skills? Can you read a room?

If so, all these problems become easier.

EsotericRonin · 2025-07-23T03:51:03+00:00

Why are you conflating bad boy with hot guy?

JoshyJay95 · 2025-07-23T12:15:34+00:00

Couldn't be closer to the truth. It's about time people start saying the truth here.

WhoAmIEven2 · 2025-07-22T22:00:50+00:00

This sounds very much like your own head cannon.

I'm average as fuck and always gotten a kiss on the first date whenever I felt like we both enjoyed it, and wanting sex has always been met with positivity in my relationships unless there's something logical stopping it like her having a fever and is almost knocked out.

flipsidetroll · 2025-07-22T18:16:11+00:00

It’s funny how you guys are always with women when they date average guys and badboys so you always hear exactly what is said. And you know the exact reason things are said. It must get mighty weird when you are watching them have sex from the corner of the room.

Things you imagine and things you are told by other men, do not necessarily reflect reality. Don’t believe everything you think.

SierraMistSoda · 2025-07-22T20:14:29+00:00

That’s like life. Don’t be average. Hot fit women have it easier than fat ugly women. That’s just how it is.

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No-Mulberry7538 · 2025-07-22T18:40:00+00:00

You mean, unhealthy people of both sexes, without a rooted and stable identity change their standards and what they tolerate in others.

2025-07-23T11:57:35+00:00

Yes, if you are a hot man or woman people will be more lenient with your behaviour, and it might take time for your date to warm up to you. This is not a new thing, nor is it uncommon. Like duh, is this really news to you? And people who are hot aren't necessarily bad boys/bad girls, they're just hot or have game/charisma.

AcanthaceaeKey5113 · 2025-07-25T22:47:26+00:00

Yet another reason why I became indifferent to women and dating, for good.

The_Lat_Czar · 2025-07-27T19:01:02+00:00

Y'all are starting to make me think I'm hot, Jesus.

2025-07-22T17:50:58+00:00

Based on what? Your personal experience?

JackLong93 · 2025-07-22T19:05:18+00:00

lol kinda true and funny

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-07-22T19:36:51+00:00

Yes, the more attractive you are, the more receptive people will be to your advances. That's life. There's nothing you can do about it except become more attractive. Complaining about it on the internet changes nothing

substation66 · 2025-07-23T04:34:32+00:00

Let me guess, you feel entitled to a woman who’s more attractive than you?

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-07-23T06:27:42+00:00

The use of „bad boy“ is so cringe. Woman like men who are attractive. Just like men like women who are attractive.

The way that men on here always have to call them bad boys in order to invalidate the preference is so embarrassing. Men aren‘t assholes just because they are attractive.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-07-23T00:34:35+00:00

This is straight up black pill mythology with almost no basis in reality.

HeartEnvironmental96 · 2025-07-22T18:39:31+00:00

I've never experienced a woman "gatekeeping" sex or holding me to a firmer standard because Im average looking.

This kind of behavior is low-class and prevalent in women who have personality disorders.

If a woman likes you, she's not going to be a judgemental cunt, lol.

I really dont know whether these kinds of posts are based on real experiences or just chronically online people assuming how the world works based on tiktok.

Unhappy_Offer_1822 · 2025-07-22T18:01:32+00:00

must have to do with who you are dating or something

BuhDeepThatsAllFolx · 2025-07-22T19:08:42+00:00

I disagree with every bullet point

I think the majority of women still hold men to high standards even if the man is very attractive

This is way too reductionistic

And it reads like someone who hasn’t had much experience with women

Ex: I guarantee you the conversation she’s having with her girlfriend after she hooks up with a hot guy is “he’s really hot but he came in like 30 seconds! This is not cool! And he tried to put me in 5 different sexual positions in those 30 seconds. Like, I’m not an object from a porno! Yes he’s hot but I don’t think I’ll make it v long with him like this”

Avast_Lion · 2025-07-22T20:07:39+00:00

Right. Because what you’re calling “rules” are actually strategies. People who are naturally gifted at something don’t have to use as many strategies to do it.

Average person: calculates a tip in their head “sir, I don’t think you meant to tip me 80 cents”

Math genius: calculates a tip in their head “thanks for the tip”

This doesn’t mean that average people are expected to abide by different rules when it comes to tipping. The rules are the same. If they want to get it right, though, they might be advised to use a calculator.

meanas9 · 2025-07-22T20:58:38+00:00

So? You found out that life is not "just"?

Graaarg999 · 2025-07-22T23:25:08+00:00

Noone forces you to be a good boy ..

-Kalos · 2025-07-23T03:43:31+00:00

Someone you’re attracted to can get more from you? Huh, mind blown

Putrid-Storage-9827 · 2025-07-23T07:24:31+00:00

Are you new... to life? 1) Be attractive and 2) Don't be unattractive are the only real rules of dating for a reason.

Silver-Button4299 · 2025-07-23T15:06:48+00:00

The way a man looks is merely one factor in a sea of considerations for whether a woman is attracted to him.

Stop focusing on this single factor that you have limited control over and focus on the host of other factors you DO gave control of. Take responsibility for yourself and your outcomes and stop blaming others, particularly the weaker sex.

Title	Average guys are expected to abide different rules when it comes to dating
Author	Crazy_Kray
Upvotes	179
Comments	384
Date	July 22, 2025 5:43 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1m6krc0/average_guys_are_expected_to_abide_different/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/average-guys-are-expected-to-abide-different-rules.1557828 https://theredarchive.com/post/1557828

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