Why should "consent to sex isn't consent to Parenthood" only apply to women?

rosephase · 2026-01-23T21:16:04+00:00

I agree. Men should be able to have cheap reversible and effective brith control. I have no idea why men aren't up in arms demanding that it happens faster and in their countries. Men should absolutely have that option. But instead they are focused on this wild idea of "paper abortions" that is obviously harmful to children. And anger at women for having more options because pregnancy happens in their bodies.

Get angry at the right people. Demand your rights. I know as a feminist reversible and effective male birth control is something I've spent time and energy advocating for. I wonder how many men who advocate for paper abortions have ever even looked into it.

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2026-01-24T01:14:55+00:00

Ideally, both parents agree. But when they don't, someone has to have the last say.

But which person?

Of course, the person carrying the pregnancy.

sublimemongrel · 2026-01-23T23:57:32+00:00

Abortion rights have never rested on some right to “consent to parenthood” that wasn’t the basis of roe or Casey. And the reverse is also not the basis of Dobbs.

Also it’s a little weird to divorce it entirely from the whole pregnancy/gestation/birth aspect and just neatly pin this whole premise to the side.

Lastly I for one would be down for LPS but only if it meant pre sex contracts. Otherwise you’re putting the entire responsibility of an unwanted pregnancy on women and there’s also various policy grounds which would make a pre sex waiver a lot fairer and probably more effective than just men opting out during some period of time after the fact. Let’s not incentive even more dead beat dads ya know?

2026-01-24T01:02:25+00:00

There's an easy solution: tax payer funded child support for all kids.

But, most guys don't support that either.

DenverKim · 2026-01-24T17:34:03+00:00

I am a super far left woman who is incredibly pro choice. And I also believe that men should have the opportunity to opt out of their legal obligation when it comes to being a father.

It would be very complicated of course, and he would need to do it immediately in order to give the woman the information she needs to make her own choice in time.

For example, he couldn’t just randomly decide once the kid is two or three years old that he no longer want to be a dad. But he could choose the moment he finds out that the woman is pregnant to immediately end the relationship and file legal paperwork to terminate all parental rights before the child is even born, and that would remove all financial responsibility so that the woman knows upfront that she is making this decision entirely on her own and will be the only one responsible for her decision. It would be a very complicated to structure and enforce, but I do believe that should somehow be an option for men.

But this is not something that women can do for men… Men have to get involved politically and actually fight for the changes they want to occur. The majority of elected politicians are still men, so the deck is already stacked in their favor. The problem they face is that all do is complain online (like a crazy person yelling at the clouds) and they entangle the few reasonable complaints they have with all kinds of other lunatic red pill talking points, so nobody ends up taking them seriously.

But ultimately, in the meantime, if a man wants to ensure that he does not get stuck having to pay for a child he doesn’t want, in our current system, he needs to get a vasectomy, or at least use condoms every time, knowing that he is still taking a risk even with condoms.

twistednormz · 2026-01-23T20:32:20+00:00

Why should "consent to sex isn't consent to Parenthood" only apply to women?

It's pretty simple and I would be willing to bet that you already know why. But, for the sake of any young guys reading this who legitimately don't know, I'll explain.

Let's say a man and woman have sex with each other. Whether they like it or not they are both consenting to the possibility of a pregnancy happening. That pregnancy may or may not result in a child being born in the end, but they both know a pregnancy can happen even if they take precautions.

In the case where a pregnancy happens, it is fully in the woman's body, not the man's. So, since the pregnancy is in the woman's body, she may choose to continue the pregnancy to term, resulting in a child and they will both be parents to the child. Or, she can choose to terminate the pregnancy that is in her body, due to bodily autonomy. If she chooses this, the result will be that neither of them becomes a parent. So, for a woman, a decision she can make due to bodily autonomy has a side effect of allowing her to opt out of parenthood, but no such choice exists for a man since he doesn't carry the pregnancy and therefore cannot end the pregnancy due to bodily autonomy.

I know you think this is unfair and I agree, it's about as unfair as the fact that the woman always has to be the one to carry the pregnancy and all that entails, go through labour and birth and all that entails even when her and her partner equally want to have a child.

And I know you wish the man had a way of opting out during the pregnancy but he doesn't, his choice comes before the pregnancy happens. And signing a piece of paper does not make the child any less his no matter how loudly he cries "but I don't wanna". If he doesn't want to be a parent, he needs to act before pregnancy becomes a possibility. The woman can act before or after pregnancy because of bodily autonomy. It's that simple.

blebbyroo · 2026-01-23T20:16:41+00:00

The reality is once a child is born its rights supersede sins of its parents rights - this is necessary as a society to protect our most vulnerable and as a society we decided that despite the social welfare we have in various countries the cost would be too great for a large amount of children to be financially raised by society which would undoubtedly happen if all parents had the choice to give up financial responsibility. Men would be the parents who give up their burden for a born child more often than not just due to natural biological differences.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-23T22:13:38+00:00

Because biology, obviously

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2026-01-23T23:34:49+00:00

Abortion is about bodily autonomy. Legal parenthood is about obligations to an existing person. Those aren’t the same moral domain.

A woman can opt out of pregnancy because no one gets a right to use her body. No one gets to opt out of supporting a child once that child exists, because the child isn’t using your body. It’s just existing.

Adoption doesn’t erase responsibility by fiat. It requires another willing caretaker and state approval. Men already have the same option women do there. You can surrender rights only if someone else picks them up. The pro choice claim isn’t that sex carries no consequences. It’s that consequences don’t include forced bodily service. Once birth happens, biology stops mattering and responsibility begins for both parents

Demasii · 2026-01-24T01:13:52+00:00

Consent to parenthood is not a thing. Prochoicers who use this wording are incorrect.

Women deciding against abortion doesn't mean they become a parent. Miscarriages are common occurrences. Until the birth of the child, it legally does not exist for one to have parental rights over it.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-01-23T20:12:28+00:00

Because you're not bearing the risk of pregnancy, it's not an issue of bodily automy for men. I don't understand why it's such a hard concept to grasp. Sulk all you want about it: forcing someone to pay vs forcing someone to conceive is not comparable.

It comes down to simple economics. Which would be less burden on the country: making the father pay for his own child or having to deplete government resources?

For men who complain about potential child support: you don't want a kid but still want sex, then get a vasectomy.

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-01-23T20:31:12+00:00

It's simple the tax payer is not going to take on an additional burden because you decided to release your sperm into the only place in the knowm universe that can create human life. The mother has full control of the pregnancy solely because it's in her body and could endanger her health. Once the child is born both parties are held financially responsible. Not the rest of us which is why men will never be able to decouple themselves financially from their offspring.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-01-24T01:09:39+00:00

That slogan is about abortion and bodily autonomy, not about opting out after a child exists. It means consent to sex isn’t consent to pregnancy, not that people get to walk away from a living kid.

When two people choose sex, they both know pregnancy is a possible outcome. You can lower the risk, but you can’t pretend it isn’t there.

Once a child is born, a separate person exists. At that point, the child’s rights and welfare come before either parent’s preferences. Support isn’t about punishing adults, it’s about making sure the kid isn’t the one paying the price.

And if parents could just opt out financially, the cost doesn’t disappear, it shifts to the public. So if you don’t think parents should pay for their kids, be ready to pay for everyone’s kids through social services and higher taxes instead.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2026-01-24T01:50:43+00:00

That's the fun part! It doesn't

Men control their reproductive role, and we control ours.

Men go on and on about "unfairness" of biological differences, to which I'll give them the same empathy they show women when it comes to the biological differences they claim are behind the orgasm gap

That is, of course, none whatsoever

Perfectly balanced 😌

middleoftheroad133 · 2026-01-23T20:16:19+00:00

Consent to sex isn’t consent to pregnancy

If men have sex they aren’t forced to carry a baby to term

If women have sex their aren’t forced to carry a baby to term

Same

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2026-01-23T21:01:14+00:00

I agree, I'm 100% for option for men to opt out. I even argued with women about it here. Women have choice even after an accident so men should have adequate choice to opt out.

ValeWho · 2026-01-24T00:17:33+00:00

So imagine a hypothetical scenario where there is a process of removing the fertilised egg /embryo/ fetus (that is equally invasive as an abortion would be at the same state of pregnancy) and continuing the pregnancy without the woman being possible (artificial wombs). Now imagine a woman is pregnant and doesn't want the child but the father would want the baby. Because of bodily autonomy the woman would have the right to have the pregnancy removed from her uterus. Do you think that in this scenario the woman would be the only one with legal authority to decide whether the pregnancy continues in an artificial womb? And do you think the woman would be able to choose if she wants to financially support the child if the artificial pregnancy is carried out?

So women currently being able to choose if a child is born or not is a result of them having bodily autonomy. Because as a society we decided that you get to choose what you do with your body even if another persons life depends on it. So if a father is a genetic match for blood transfusion for his child, he can say no even if that means the child will die. Then he would no longer be responsible for the child. But since most children are not dependent on their father's blood for survival, men usually don't get a choice, since their body's autonomy is not impacted by the pregnancy or the child. If it was men would get the same choice. And if women's bodily autonomy was not impacted they wouldn't get a choice either.

Now people will say but women can drop the child off at a fire station or give it up for adoption. And this is true, but it is also a "necessary evil" because realistically it would mean that some of the children would be murdered otherwise. Also if there is a father in the picture women can't really decide that on their own

And yes this sucks for men "consent to sex is not consent to parenthood" should be true for all genders.

But this statement is not what the law is enforcing, what is being protected by law is "consent to sex is not consent to giving up your bodies autonomy for the next 9 months" and that is true for both genders.

toasterchild · 2026-01-23T20:23:10+00:00

Women are also forced to pay for children they have and abandon.

They only get one extra option to get out of having a child in a small window of time in some places if they have money and access to medical procedures.

kmb218 · 2026-01-23T21:52:01+00:00

The reason I am pro choice has nothing to do with parenthood and everything to do with bodily autonomy. I do not think you have to sacrifice your health and body for someone elses survival who cannot survive on their own, especially not when that someone is a not sentient piece of a few cells.

I do not understand why you think men should get the same rights (opt out of parenthood) without the same responsibilities (the massive physical damage of pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding).

Lemon_gecko · 2026-01-23T20:20:28+00:00

I'm very pro-choice for men too. With conditions. They should be able to get "abortion" but the time should me less than for women (usually women can abort up to 3 month, men should be able to "abort" before 2 month time, there is a question of if he didn't know, but i'll think about it later, it's details). He should pay as much as abortion costs in that country, maybe slightly more (he doesn't bear health risks). And should be able to walk away completely like that, without any other consequences.

StrugglingSoprano · 2026-01-23T20:46:29+00:00

Once women have access to abortion I would be 100% on board for letting the father sign away his rights and responsibilities early on in the pregnancy if he so chooses.

Novadina · 2026-01-24T03:56:19+00:00

The phrase is actually “consent to sex isn’t consent to pregnancy” - it’s not about parenthood, but bodily autonomy. I don’t believe this right should be for women only. Men ALSO don’t consent to having a fetus growing in them just because they had sex, and should be allowed to remove it. I certainly don’t believe this right should be gendered - any pregnant people of any gender, race, or age should be allowed to decide if another person can be in their body or not.

I don’t believe people have a “bodily autonomy” right to their money, which is not part of their body so wouldn’t make sense that would be included, it would be a separate right. Things like rent and taxes would go against this kind of right as much as financial parental support. Anyway, women also have to pay taxes, rent, and child support, so this lack of “money autonomy” is also not gendered.

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2026-01-24T07:49:44+00:00

I mean, right now as things are today, if a man doesn't like it, he can just... peace out. Leave the woman and disappear forever. Nobody would know about it, and the kid would still be in great care (the kid's own mother). A woman can't just flee her own body like that, nor can she detach her womb and mail it to the dad or something. And putting her own kid up to adoption, unless she specifically already knows who she'll give it to and can give it to said person right as the kid is born, it's... eh. Adoption agencies aren't known for taking good care of kids.

Basically, men can already opt out of parenthood, and the only options we gave to women were either "kill your kid" or "abandon it in a trash heap".

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Kaleidoscopetide · 2026-01-24T16:52:22+00:00

“Consent to sex isn’t consent to parenthood”doesn’t apply to either parent. Once the child exists, NEITHER parent can unilaterally decide to give up their parental responsibilities. If mom wants to give baby up for adoption, and dad wants to keep it, mom can’t just say “well, but I didn’t consent to parenthood, so I’m not paying child support.” She has to, just like he would. This was the case for my friend, who was mostly raised by her dad with her mom paying child support. It happens fairly often.

Now, BEFORE the child exists, the woman has a longer window to prevent that from happening. This isn’t fair, especially because there aren’t as many effective and reversible birth control options for men. It is also, in the US, a matter of opinion WHEN a fetus becomes a child. But if you do not believe that someone becomes a human being at the moment of conception, that abortion is not the murder of an existing person but the prevention of a collection of cells from BECOMING a person, then abortion can’t also be an abdication of parental responsibility that men don’t get to do. Neither parent can unilaterally decide not to support an existing child. But because the male reproductive anatomy is required for the making of a child for a shorter window of time (1 ejaculation), men have a shorter window of time to prevent the making of a child. I’m not saying this is fair—it’s not. And I think that there should be steps taken to remedy it. It’s a complex and difficult subject and situation. But I don’t think that “paper abortions” of existing children which are available to only one sex of parent are the solution.

Ok_Freedom_639 · 2026-01-27T08:38:21+00:00

The statement applies to all people. If you don't want to raise the child yourself, you're not obligated to do so. However, you will be obligated to support said child financially.

"Consent to sex isn't consent to gestation" naturally only applies to people who can get pregnant.

It's an unsolvable tragedy that some people who get pregnant misuse the right to bodily autonomy for ridding themselves of their parental obligations.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-23T21:22:35+00:00

It takes two people to make a child.

If you don't consent to parenthood, wear a condom.

Yupperdoodledoo · 2026-01-25T05:46:02+00:00

Because men don’t carry and birth babies. Ideally consent to sex would not be consent to parenthood for anyone. It’s just a fact of life that women bear the burden of pregnancy and so can decide to get an abortion. There is no way for men to end the pregnancy, it isn’t happening in his body.

Once a child is born, it has to be cared for. The state should not have to step in because a man decided he didn’t want a child.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-01-23T21:13:31+00:00

IDK, I find myself very unsympathetic to this topic because men have total power. You can always… not impregnate someone. I tell my son the same thing. If HE gets someone pregnant it’s 100% on him. I told him to keep his fluids away from eggs if he does not want children.

💦 + 🍳= 👶🏽

Sex is risky.

KayRay1994 · 2026-01-23T22:22:35+00:00

I do think there should be some space to reasonably opt out (ex. If you provide documentation to a lawyer proving your desire and intent drop out early, let’s say within the first trimester) then it should be legal and defensible.

Otherwise? It starts becoming an excuse to drop out of responsibility of a baby it takes two to make.

If you don’t want the kid and she does that’s fine, but be prepared to legally drop out early

2026-01-23T21:01:00+00:00

Because that would empower evil men and women cannot be having that.

Why should "consent to sex isn't consent to Parenthood" only apply to women?

Comments

IKWALITY

Title	Why should "consent to sex isn't consent to Parenthood" only apply to women?
Author	DietTyrone
Upvotes	142
Comments	422
Date	January 23, 2026 7:59 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ql17sf/why_should_consent_to_sex_isnt_consent_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-should-consent-to-sex-isnt-consent-to.1571819 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571819