This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry again

Ok-Guidance6491 · 2026-03-18T08:31:11+00:00

What’s even worse is their comment section. It’s okay. The system will self correct. I have two boys who will probably never get married or have families. We will all be replaced by a different culture with the old values. The not-so-selfish ones.

LiteratureStill8647 · 2026-03-08T00:18:51+00:00

What hit me was “I don't want to change." I wanted to choose myself.” Marriage requires both people to have at least a bit of care and concern for the other person and an ounce of selflessness. Sounds like she decided to focus on herself rather than trying to connect with him. Sad, but better for him that she left as well.

IAmTheBS · 2026-03-07T00:15:28+00:00

Women like this watch too much sex in the City. Why they trade stability and family for stuffed holes is beyond me

HereInThe818 · 2026-03-05T16:00:31+00:00

Sounds like you weren’t ready to be married or perhaps you aren’t a marrying type of person. That’s fine but for many people having a spouse and kids is the greatest joy life offers.

Feisty_Elderberry_96 · 2026-03-05T13:20:52+00:00

They make divorce sound wonderful. Good on her for ending it early and before children are involved.

I wouldn't read too much into one person's thinking.

Yes. They are manipulated by social media. But so are we to some extent. It's just that men make decisions based on logic and rationale versus women who make decision based on emotions.

Use stories like this as a template to identify red flags.

fiddsy · 2026-03-05T08:47:28+00:00

Mixed feelings about this...

On 1 hand, shes a broken person... Shes no doubt a fearful avoidant or dismissive avoidant. She also probably chased the high of making the wedding bigger than the relationship/ marriage.

It doesnt say how long they were together but to me reads like:

'He was a great guy, perfect on paper.. the closer he got, the more I lost interest but kept this to myself - he then proposed and I made made the wedding the perfect end game of being excited - my dopamine crashed after the wedding and I realised my ADHD mixed with my avoidance makes anything post new relationship energy boring and mundane. I realise this and realise its a shitty thing to do but instead of doing the proper individual work on myself with a therapist and couples work on my marriage with the great guy - its easier for me to leave, get pumped by Chad, then 15 of chads mates, keep repeating the same cycle over and over again until eventually I realise that perhaps im the common denominator!'

So my issue with her, is that shes self aware enough to realise shes the problem... but when you become self aware of the issues but dont truly address them, that becomes a choice to be a selfish POS.

She felt relief the moment she felt because shes an avoidant... fearful or dismissive... probably with ADHD.

BUT

I give her credit for leaving and not dragging this out.

3 years into our 16+ years, the honeymoon/new relationship energy died for my ADHD fearful HEAVILY avoidant wife and she begun detaching emotionally, physically and sexually.

For 13 years I did everything in my power to rebuild that connection, wasn't until about 7 months ago that she told me she had felt like this (disconnected) for well over 10 years. Said it a bit harsher than that... but, I knew then and there that all the effort, time, money, counselling/therapy - none of it was going to repair the marriage because she wouldn't or couldn't do the personal work required to fix herself and the marriage.

Guess what guys, theres no medal at the end for sticking it out for 13 years for the kids and woman you love.. just a broken family and a financial hit and emotional hit you may never fully recover from.

So, im glad she saved this poor fker years of pain, withdrawal or sudden destruction years later when theres kids, pets, mortgages and all the rest.

He didnt have to dodge the bullet because she aimed and fired it somewhere else.

MoneroMoe · 2026-03-05T08:46:29+00:00

The part she left out was all the dudes she was hooking up with when she got her "space"

MensDivorceCircle · 2026-03-05T05:12:06+00:00

She needed her next dopamine hit! What she didn’t say is she immediately was on bumble Swiping left and right, looking for a possible replacement, someone more handsome, someone that matched her “vibe” more than your husband. The modern day woman is wired differently, they have listened to unfortunately too much feminism propaganda. They doom scroll on TikTok for hours, unhappy with her own self imagine and life. She likely had a loyal husband that loved her, but that wasn’t good enough.

EntrepreneurDue8756 · 2026-03-05T03:20:04+00:00

Reading posts like this always makes me wonder something.

Why does it seem like in a lot of modern relationships people wake up one day and just decide they're done? Especially in stories like this where there wasn't abuse, cheating, or some catastrophic event.

My grandmother was married for almost 50 years and when I asked her how they made it that long she said something that stuck with me: their generation fixed things when they broke. Ours tends to replace things when they stop working.

It feels like we live in an era where everything is disposable phones, jobs, even relationships. We’re constantly stimulated by the idea that something better could be out there.

So I’m genuinely curious:
Are people leaving too quickly now, or were older generations just staying in things that made them unhappy?

LeTronique · 2026-03-05T02:41:42+00:00

Offshore your savings and keep one leg out the door with these.

letzrockaway · 2026-03-05T02:05:18+00:00

Bitches doing bitchy things, so fucked up world.

MGTOWManofMystery · 2026-03-05T01:55:05+00:00

Makes you wonder why they push men to marry in the first place.

Smart men don't get married!

NilesGuy · 2026-03-05T00:13:42+00:00

Men marry for marriage and companionship. Whereas women marry based on their emotions & feelings. As soon as those feelings wear off and gone , so are you. You’ll get the total blame and gaslighting begins.

OldGuyNewTrix · 2026-03-04T23:31:43+00:00

It’s trendy and in. The women’s movement has surely done a good job at breaking up families, instead pushing dialogue and trying to rebuild what’s not working. It’s somehow liberating in their eyes, especially the ones who extremely gullible and love echo chambers.

Slay Queen! Why do you need a man when you do it all anyways? Like, they don’t even act as if it was a commitment in the first place. Like you both didn’t decide to date, get engaged, then get married, have kids. All decisions both partners justifiably made, but to end it all. You just say you’re done and move on.

I learned very quickly that night I was ignoring the signs because my view of her was so much higher. After 17 years, 3 young kids, she just said one night as we were driving home from our last date night “That I don’t want to be married anymore. I’m unhappy, and the kids deserve a Happy Mom, and so do I - I’m 100% final on my decision”. She fell into that box of people similar to your post. It’s all about her, and that’s it. She let whatever reasons she has to be upset at me, and has let it sit to the point it’s resentment. It’s hard to get that reversed once it hits resentment. I mean weeks before we were in Mexico, no kids, light business trip. Beautiful resort, all catered for the week. We had a great time. It felt like I was in my early 20s and carefree (45 now).

But her friends are echo chambers on term of support, while my friends are like ‘how do we fix the issue?’ compared to ‘yea girl, you don’t need a man, you do what makes you happy for once’. Then I’ve seen the TikTok divorce rabbit holes that I know she was influenced by it. She admitted that it validated her, and I was just blown away with how crazy that was.

2 years later and I’m still heartbroken. Lost her, 50% of kids time, her family (my only family for 17 years), all in the blink of an eye like I never mattered. It’s horrible. However, I just need to find the day to day energy levels and positivity I need to be a good father. Hopefully with time the pain eases

TheConjugalVisit · 2026-03-04T22:52:29+00:00

Why I will never marry again, it always devolves to this shit with women and they justify/rationalize it to make themselves feel better so they don't have to take accountability for their own failures. Notice she mentioned none of her own faults and we all have them. Typical.

random_attention · 2026-03-04T22:11:11+00:00

At least she owns up to it an admits it. Sounds like she tried as well, although we don’t know how long or how much. I know this is an unpopular opinion but for me at least she didn’t continue to ring him along

LifeBeatsHard · 2026-03-04T22:07:27+00:00

3 days to stop thinking about the guy and 1 month to be fully recovered - her words. Life coming back at the MINUTE she walked away.

Man, there are guys here over years without a glimpse of what a mediocre life is like (including myself going to 1 year completely lost, but still trusting in the healing process). I wonder whether all or majority of girls are like that - too young to share a life of commitments with another person I used to love a year ago.

That was my case, at least... ex-w was visiting her mom for some long time and only told me she would not come back when I needed her presence to work on some visa paperwork (2 months later). I wonder how long she would have kept the silence and living already a new life...

I really hope not all ladies think like that crazy one. So that we can still have hope in a shared life.

midlife-madness · 2026-03-04T21:54:42+00:00

I mean just don’t give up your friends, your interests, your hobbies, your beliefs, your peace for a marriage. Don’t put all of your eggs in that basket.

I still believe in love. And I still believe in marriage. Though I’d rather get married by some Druid in the forest than have government paperwork.

Jesus-is-cool70x7 · 2026-03-04T21:37:43+00:00

Definition of narcissist

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-04T21:32:26+00:00

Gosh I just wonder if she would have forgotten her big day so quickly if she paid for all of it out of her own pocket.

dpatron · 2026-03-04T20:53:27+00:00

Let me translate this as im well versed in the language of the American woman.. Hi everyone, the dopamine wore off from me parading around to all my friends, family, strangers and co workers about the diamond I got on my finger. Also im left in dopamine withdrawal from getting to plan my own party where im the guest of honor. I so miss getting pampered, dressed up in a white gown(should be a tiny red fuck me dress lol) and all the brunches with my ladies where we drink mimosas, and talk about our newest vibrators. My new dopamine hit will be getting pursued by every douche bag at the silver nickel on Thursdays and fridays!! My side piece is taking my to Tahiti next weekend too!
Holy shit they are all the same from 60 years old to 20🤣! Not an ounce of family, honor or integrity.

VenomIsMyHero · 2026-03-04T20:50:54+00:00

Thank God there are no children involved.

I do wish I didn't have two marriages under my belt. I deserved more than what I believe I deserved. Not a word of consideration to the person she promised forever.

I would love to hear her husband's point of view though. She wrote this like she was writing a fantastical short story for upvotes.

MealLoud9492 · 2026-03-04T19:57:06+00:00

I’m married but joined this thread to see what knowledge I can impart to my children when it comes to marriage in these times.

What I can reasonably conclude at time of writing is that a pre-nup is necessary. No matter what.

WeaknessCapital9064 · 2026-03-04T19:49:14+00:00

What stands out in this story is how long the emotional exit probably happened before the actual separation. When someone feels relief the first night away and barely thinks about their spouse after a few days, that decision was already made internally long before the conversation ever happened.

A lot of men experience this in divorce; they think the relationship is still something that can be worked on, while their partner has already processed the ending months or years earlier. By the time the separation happens, one person is just starting the grief process while the other has already moved on emotionally.

That mismatch is what makes it feel so brutal.

akorn77 · 2026-03-04T19:44:34+00:00

There used to be a stigma for divorced women. Now they wear it as a badge of honour.

Told my therapist recently that getting legally married as a man, is no longer compatible with the modern world.

Oh and my wife recently walked out of our marriage after just 1 year, with no explanation. No cheating, no abuse, treated her like a queen and poof...gone. So i have first hand experience of how evil women can be.

Any-Context8333 · 2026-03-04T19:22:46+00:00

I'm sorry for the guy she married, but clearly he is much better off without her in his life.

He made a mistake, but she helped him out by getting him out of that mistake. Hope he's ok

TheMindfulWarrior9 · 2026-03-04T19:12:02+00:00

I mean, did they even try counseling or anything . I get it it was only a year but still do vows not mean anything to people anymore. She should’ve at least communicated with him and together they could’ve tried to work on it . If after a few months if therapy wasn’t helping by all means get divorced.

That’s my biggest problem with this . marriage isn’t just like a regular relationship . sure if they were just dating for a year and she decided she wasn’t happy then this behavior is totally fine although I don’t think you need to post to Reddit and gloat about it, but they were married for ffs

Shai_Hulu_Hoop · 2026-03-04T19:04:40+00:00

FYI, it is super normal to feel AMAZING in wake of an intentional separation. Therapists know this. And if you do it with the support of one, they can warn you. It’s like a new honeymoon stage for yourself that evaporates within 6 months to a year.

And then you start to perceive what you are missing. So this woman MIGHT have been in a toxic or super avoidant relationship in which case separation really is an improvement.

More likely it’s just a matter of time before she thinks wistfully about watching a movie with him or having his support after a hard day. Perhaps she is starting to feel that now and she wrote that as an intentional protest to her gut wanting to pull back from her new ‘freedom’.

Alternately she was only married for about a year. She probably has no idea what love is.

houserj1589 · 2026-03-04T18:57:32+00:00

Just because 1 woman is like this; doesn't mean they all are.

The biggest mistake any person can make is generalizing a whole group of people.

I know shitty women; and i know women who have stayed with shitty men.

I know shitty men; I know wonderful men who stay with shitty women.

Gender is not a determinate for whether someone makes a good life partner.

mrbill1234 · 2026-03-04T18:46:36+00:00

On the bright side her ex husband probably won’t have to pay her much if anything in alimony after 1 year of marriage.

One_Mathematician864 · 2026-03-04T18:33:26+00:00

The funniest part of all this , I will bet all my money that she was the one pressuring him to get married and probably complaining to her family and friends about how he didn't want to commit and marry her and he was wasting her time. Probably even dropped a post in the waiting_to_wed subreddit.

Who wants to bet with me?

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-04T18:21:54+00:00

On the first night, I felt relieved to be anywhere but in the same house with him.

That's most marriages.

The biggest mistake males make is that they keep trying. You ask a female out. She says, "I'm not sure when I'll be free." Or she agress to a date but flakes. The correct move is to never contact her again.

But, if you persevere, you'll end up in the above situation.

The40project · 2026-03-04T17:54:53+00:00

I'm sorry, but I read that and just think "good". They were married for 1 year, presumably no kids. If you realize 1 year in that marriage was the wrong decision or this is the wrong person, then divorce is the right answer for everyone.

She's not being selfish for not dedicating her life to a bad decision in her 20's and it's waaaay kinder to her husband to not keep him locked in a marriage with someone who didn't love him the way he probably wanted.

I'm sure it was painful for everyone involved, but honestly good for her for making the hard choice.

EvalCrux · 2026-03-04T17:51:59+00:00

My wife made only blithe remarks about "why don't you just sign papers" or move back to my other house (yeah, I bought her one and kept one). Only discussions were her dragging me to her personal therapist where they both tried to convince me to move on with a fucking Dr. telling us"you can get divorced for any reason you want now". Therapy = her safe place to fully unload her venom on me.

We still were intimate (rarely). But she made her move, shrieking and attacking me which I brushed off. Then one day I pushed her off me, and she called cops and got me arrested. Nice start to divorce proceedings, bitch! Charges all thrown out, but still basically there for 'family law' proceedings.

Never again, I don't even look at women as useful any more, but I did procreate so I have my kids. DEI voting, get rid of all of it. Earn your merit bitches, prepare for the status quo of women infesting the courts and "Family Law" which is not law, as ways to suck away my value.

Harsh hyperbole but this is how I feel. Good riddance, get on welfare or go back to your parents who could barely stand you but had to.

SaaSWriters · 2026-03-04T17:36:48+00:00

I have no issues with a women not playing games and acting fast. My only qualm would be that both parties shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. The guy/man had to have seen some red flags am I right? And the girl/women should have know from the start he is not the right guy, what was she thinking?

henrysmyagent · 2026-03-04T17:27:14+00:00

The only think remarkable about this woman is how unremarkable her shitty and selfish attitude is.

I swear, girls in school need to spend a semester learning the true definition of what VOW means.

Modern women are more loyal to makeup brands than they are to the men in their lives.

Women like her are why I recommend marriage to every man I hate.

Enigma_Colchonero · 2026-03-04T17:26:40+00:00

More men need to read these type of stories.

So many men are still living in the Disney fantasy.

warwww · 2026-03-04T17:16:54+00:00

Mannn, this is a good thing. It’s better they leave early.

As I always say - Let them leave post haste! Godspeed.

Vows? Lmao

xoxo

The real damage is when they try to leave and take your stuff and destroy your life on the way out.

UnknownUsername113 · 2026-03-04T17:05:19+00:00

Why does this upset you OP?

If someone isn’t happy, they should leave. At least no one cheated. People make the decision to get married far too quickly. A lot of it boils down to societal pressure but it doesn’t mean they should stay married.

kdthex01 · 2026-03-04T17:00:01+00:00

So many worse posts in that sub.

She’s not happy and doesn’t want to do the work? C’ya.

Better to find out sooner than later and much better than having to give half your life’s work and worth plus future earnings as welfare.

The cackling take everything bc the earned it by hanging out in the house you bought crowd are the awful ones.

Main_Web504 · 2026-03-04T16:55:41+00:00

I would be very curious how long they dated and lived together before getting married. Sounds like she jumped into something she wasn’t even sure she wanted or had an idea of what it looked like.

I suspect this woman thinks the honeymoon phase of a relationship last forever and doesn’t understand that it ends at some point. I would bet she does this again with another guy or turns into the woman making TikTok’s about where are all the good men at, not understanding why she’s still single at 40.

Mister_Vandemar · 2026-03-04T16:48:03+00:00

As some others have said, this post is insightful because it seems to show the mundane reality behind why some relationships fail. It doesn’t have to involve betrayal, or abuse, or any substantive “problems at all; some relationships fail because one party just concludes that they don’t want to continue.

As frustrating and upsetting as this may seem, I think she did him a favor. I’d hate to imagine an alternative scenario where she doesn’t like or respect her partner, but she sticks around an either subjects him to a loveless contemptuous marriage, or divorces him at a later date when their lives are even more entangled.

I can criticize many of my ex’s choices, but, especially with hindsight, the best thing she did for me was quitting the relationship early and acting so horribly towards me that it washed away any delusions that I would be better off with her.

koolllG_uy1911 · 2026-03-04T16:47:48+00:00

Honestly, compare to allot of other divorces.. this is the best way to go about it.. As long as no children are involved and both are financially independent.

There are too many, false-accusation / life time alimony and child support stories that completely destroy men.

Virtual-Mixture8381 · 2026-03-04T16:47:21+00:00

Around that age she’s going to start clawing to get pregnant. I knew of a lesbian that even started getting baby fever around that time. She’ll tie the noose cough I mean knot with another guy soon enough & once marriage and kids with him is in the picture his get out of jail free card will come in the mail laminated.

Olderbutnotdead619 · 2026-03-04T16:41:49+00:00

How old was this woman? Sounds like a teenager. I think consideration needs to be made when reading these. There's a lot of women here on Reddit that are from different countries or cultures. Arranged marriages are still a thing.
Then there are those women that only care about the wedding, sorry groom. They want the attention, the dress, the party, the fantasy honeymoon. Then living with hubby pops their bubble. They are part of a couple and all the attention is now diluted and there's now a give and take situation.

This isn't all women. Not all women are plotting their evil plan, sometimes it's their parents.

But, with this, I encourage my daughters Not to get married.

lefecious · 2026-03-04T16:39:57+00:00

Maybe it's just me but I don't think that post is that bad. She admits she was selfish and says her husband didn't deserve that.

And she's getting out now after a year before having kids and making it worse.

I've seen much worse posts from women.

BranchBeautiful8004 · 2026-03-04T16:31:02+00:00

Mine did similar thing. This stupid thing about separating away and checking if it works is most stupid idea picked up from SM. Women these days lack accountability, sense of responsibility… they feel that they are above any questions and judgements.Ofcourse hormones are another driving force. Maybe years later they realise where it went wrong

JonahFeb · 2026-03-04T16:28:13+00:00

Of course I don't know if there's more to it but from what I read...

What. The. Hell.

I might be biased and still too hurt to read this with more emotional distance but this reads like something pathological...

Grouchy_Land895 · 2026-03-04T16:15:03+00:00

I see a lot of posts saying “you don’t see men making statements like this”—I believe that is because men who leave their women don’t come on Reddit to blast it for reassurance. Women need to hear support for their decision whereas a man just does it.

LimitAdvanced191 · 2026-03-04T16:15:01+00:00

Yep. Selfish to the core. What's mine is mine. Your here to enable my glorious purpose. You go Queen.

EasttoWest9 · 2026-03-04T16:14:00+00:00

I think it's ok - because I expected her to say that she tried to gut the guy financially after her "period of discovery."

Jhonnybgood2017 · 2026-03-04T16:11:48+00:00

When you get past all the mumbo jumbo she wrote, it's clear this a young woman who likely got married because all her friends got married and wanted the wedding more than the marriage and got bored. She wants to get back out there and chase excitement while she is still in her best years (her words not mine). Marriage was and still is to build a family which would include children, outside of that, it's tough staying committed in a marriage long term after the honeymoon is over. At least she packed her bags and left before she had kids with this guy and left a trail of destruction. This is a blessing in disguise and it shows you their thought process in 4K.

DatabaseSpace · 2026-03-04T16:08:06+00:00

This is a good warning message about getting married. I think there are things intentionally left out of this story. I can almost guarantee that when she left and went to her other place and was so happy, there was another guy involved there. She didn't just go off and sit alone and think how happy she was. I've read the Men's divorce forum for years now, and never once have a read a guy say something like this and be so happy to have divorced someone. There is never this happy you only live once!!!! type of shit. I know my ex had this same sentiment though, she was like I have a husband and boyfriend right now, haha YOLO!!!!

I read the normal divorce forum a few times years ago, it's very different over there. The only good thing here is that if this was a one year marriage, no alimony so just part ways. Usually they will wait until 7 years go by and you just close on a new house, then they decide to file.

SKEPDIQ · 2026-03-04T16:02:26+00:00

My ex did the same thing, just was 9/5 year marriage.

muscularmusician · 2026-03-04T15:59:23+00:00

And this after a year of marriage... wow. So they didn't date for long before jumping into marriage ?? And her vows mean nothing apparently.. also looks like she put zero effort into attempting to address issues or fix a single thing.. just walked away at the first sign of things being off or difficult. .. Certainly better this happend now and not after having kids.. Good luck to any man she gets into a relationship with next.

leaving4me · 2026-03-04T15:51:40+00:00

It's no surprise a divorced women's sub would have postings like this. I'm sure there are as many as there is here from men. That said, these are words from a persona who should never have married the person she did to begin with....or never gotten married at all. It sure sounds as if she did it for every reason but the right one.

D_Oblivious_1 · 2026-03-04T15:49:08+00:00

Give it a few and then you'll see the, 'why can't I find a decent guy?' post.

MyrrdinWyllt5 · 2026-03-04T15:48:34+00:00

Different perspective here: This is probably for the best. It would be far worse if she stayed and had children with this guy, because she would have left in 5, 10, 15 years or whatever and ripped this guys' kids from him and left him in far worse financial straights. They've been married for a year and are young. Maybe she legitimately made a mistake. In any case, he's better off without her.

Candidate_Worldly · 2026-03-04T15:46:24+00:00

Sounds eerily like my ex wife tbh. And this is why my opinion of women and relationships in general is in the gutter. What is the point of commitment and loyalty? So fucking depressing

Virtual-Mixture8381 · 2026-03-04T15:44:46+00:00

Couldn’t bother being over there. I don’t know why anyone would do that to themselves. Last thing I’d want to read is the bs they have to say.

Virtual_Ad9235 · 2026-03-04T15:40:27+00:00

There’s no worse betrayal than the betrayal from the person who you give your life to.

My friends think I’m jaded, but I’m complete numb to the idea of getting married again. It’s going to be a very long time before I ever get into a serious relationship again.

850MEGT · 2026-03-04T15:37:58+00:00

Narcissism is strong in this one. Her ex husband, in retrospect, is probably happier as well.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-03-04T15:35:12+00:00

Very cliché

serkovavantgarden · 2026-03-04T15:33:44+00:00

To be fair, I’d imagine most women who venture into this sub have to spend a few moments picking their jaw up off the floor.

LonelyNC123 · 2026-03-04T15:32:34+00:00

This does bother me as long as the divorce is just a 50/50 asset split.

Alimony? FUCK NO!

JumpyApricot80 · 2026-03-04T15:25:20+00:00

Good grief.

LoveCrispApples · 2026-03-04T15:25:16+00:00

And she'll be the gal in about 6 months that's weeping into her martini, wondering where all the good men are.

ImplementNo2413 · 2026-03-04T15:24:16+00:00

Sounds like my STBXW - Women are lost in today's society.

Title	This is a post from divorced women page… you can’t make this shit up. I will never marry again
Author	850MEGT
Upvotes	94
Comments	187
Date	March 4, 2026 3:19 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1rko551/this_is_a_post_from_divorced_women_page_you_cant/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/this-is-a-post-from-divorced-women-page-you-cant.1574705 https://theredarchive.com/post/1574705

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