Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness is

fucksiclepizza · 2026-06-16T08:54:44+00:00

Loneliness and sexlessness are two different things.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-16T17:18:52+00:00

different perspective on female loneliness:

went through a debilitating depression in college. cut my boyfriend at the time loose because i couldn't take him with me on my downward spiral. he was the only person i had ever slept with at that point. a male friend tried to swoop in when i was extremely vulnerable and coerce me into a relationship/sex. friendship over. thought i would trust a different buddy when we were hanging out with a group of friends. we all got drunk and this f*cker was all over me and not taking no for an answer. friendship over.

got pretty scared and wary of any and all advances. didn't date at all ages 22,23.

went to a festival with a friend of mine, she introduced me to a (very drunk) male friend she worked with, out of nowhere he grabbed my face, shoved his tongue down my throat and it took 3 dudes to pull him off of me.

my point is -- being "desired" and having "options" as a woman can be isolating and lonely and even scary in different ways

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-06-16T10:29:26+00:00

The simple fact that some men think being in a relationship or having sex is the cure just goes to show that these same men have zero idea what true loneliness is like.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-06-16T09:14:25+00:00

Loneliness is not a gendered issue, but a personal one. Do you not have any friends or support circle? It'll help to actually shape your perspective of women outside of social media. Self victimhood won't make your life any better, and your bitterness towards women won't improve your chances with them either.

love_in_october · 2026-06-16T13:27:53+00:00

If you think a hookup with someone who doesn't give a shit about you would cure your "loneliness", you're not lonely, you're horny.

-nymphobrainiac- · 2026-06-16T13:23:40+00:00

I mean I can absolutely agree that our culture makes it easier for women to foster platonic interpersonal relationships. We similarly don't face much if any stigma for holding hands or hugging so there's another dimension of being less touch starved. You could absolutely argue that men's relationships get mocked for being "too close" and that's absolutely something that should be pushed back on.

You lose me when you start to equate being in a romantic relationship and having sex as being less lonely. Having insecure connections can make someone feel even more othered than being alone. Being in a relationship where the other person clearly resents you seems god awful. You'd end up feeling dismissed and rejected every single day. Except this time it wouldn't be a stranger rejecting you, it'd be someone who intimately knows you.

Along that line, casual sex doesn't make you feel any less lonely. I say that as a person who loves sex. Everyone's heard of post nut clarity, and we all kinda agree it's not a great experience. Sleeping with people in a desperate attempt to be less lonely will only make you feel more lonely. Also, speaking exclusively for women and bottoms here, bad sex can be so so painful. Having bad, painful sex with a guy is not gonna make most women feel less lonely. Being physically next to a person doesn't fix it.

The delineation between being lonely and feeling lonely seems kind of ridiculous too. Kind of like when people debate over whether you're actually sad. The person is crying, they feel sad. What more do you need? Why do you feel the need to "prove" someone else isn't lonely?

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-06-16T11:10:12+00:00

This post is just dripping with contempt for women. Maybe stop hating women so much and one might like you

thenamestammy · 2026-06-16T09:07:41+00:00

No matter how I try I just can't find words to debate about things like that. Just grow up. Please

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-06-16T08:47:15+00:00

It might interest you to know that the original incel group was founded by a women.

Of course women can be just as lonely as men, being used fir sex by someone who doesn’t particularly like or care fir you has the same appeal to a man who pays for a prostitute or a gf experience.

It’s fake, it’s not exactly enjoyable and it’s still lonely

ihatesmelly · 2026-06-16T09:08:59+00:00

Ugh shut up

This is all so subjective. Of course if you’re a fat incel that lives with your parents you’re gonna be “lonely” - this also applies to women. Most women just get to fixing these problems whereas men hope someone else will fix it for them.

RobynBirhd · 2026-06-16T17:25:15+00:00

This is certainly an opinion.

gordonnowak · 2026-06-16T08:44:33+00:00

go to r/trueuglywomen - it's a mirror image of male incels. there is a dimension of their experience which is real, in the sense that they are genuinely "lonely". I don't know if you're trying to argue that on average men are more lonely than women, but I think its demonstrably false that "women" (as a class? specific women? what?) don't know what "real" (??) loneliness is.

that said the sub is a dirty cesspool of manhate and externalized self loathing. they're just as bad as incels

SarcasticLoss · 2026-06-16T11:41:40+00:00

Yea I cant. Im actually a pleasant person to be around, have a lot of friends, loving family and never feel lonely even when single for this reason. 🙃

HighlightDowntown966 · 2026-06-16T08:43:54+00:00

You're not going to like this. But they don't care.

The sooner you accept that.... You can begin to not care as well.

I don't have a solution

Timbsfan · 2026-06-16T08:47:33+00:00

Bro you dont know what you're talking about. You think even obese women enjoy being fucked by a guy doggy style in a dirty bed? That doesn't fix loneliness- women dont enjoy it like men do. The sooner you understand that, the better,

OffTheRedSand · 2026-06-16T09:31:27+00:00

Sex and relationships with who? It’s not chad dating obese women because even average men don’t want those and y’all cry everyday on here how these women are you only matches on the apps.

These women are simply dating some men who will date them and these men aren’t chads.

For every woman dating a dude, a dude is dating a woman.

Even the guys in the short guys sub don’t want to date fat women and cry how these are their only option.

Why get mad when women you don’t want to date, date other men?

screw56 · 2026-06-16T13:42:28+00:00

Yet the ugly dude hot woman trope is so common? It’s much more like that men never date an ugly woman and actually respect her?

Men couldn’t begin to understand what it’s like to live a life where sex isn’t the only thing that’s part of your identity

Sex sex sex it’s all you mfs talk abt

Lumpy_Plant6914 · 2026-06-16T09:19:53+00:00

Sex and relationships aren't 'The' metric of loneliness. I've been lonely in a marriage with a woman, where she was decently good looking, wanted and initiated sex and even earned more money than me. I felt lonely and miserable, stressed and uncomfortable - I realized this wouldn't work for us, so I ended the marriage (we did some closure talks for a few years after though, and she remarried - I found a lifepartner)

Loneliness is about having specific needs Not met. Typically the need for shared reality; as in you share the same worldview and are working on the same project as a team. Having sex and relationships without this, is lonely. In the short run, it might feel less lonely - but loneliness is worse in a crowd of people who don't see you. Repeatedly dating men and/or women who don't appreciate you, care for you and Understands you, will highlight your loneliness, not alleviate it.

What I am looking for, and all those who search for psychologically healthy, satisfying and trusting relationships, are Equals. People on our own wavelengths. You might learn or get something out of a relationship where you aren't compatible, but you can never truly cure loneliness without equals. You need to build satisfying and healthy connections and relationships - whether these are platonic or romantic - to be seen and understood.

Touch deprivation though, is a real thing we men might also remind ourselves exist. Though touch can also be painful or leave a scar, and yes, as a guy I feel that neglect/lack is worse than painful touch; I'm starting to see it as less black and white. The socialization of men I grew up with does reduce our options so much that breaking free is hard. Dance, contact improvisation, martial arts, conscious touch, sport, acroyoga - just anything where you have a regular way of giving and receiving touch in a respectful and mutually wanted manner, is a great way to help yourself and others. It might not cure loneliness, but it does take away ome of the weight of it.

Good fucking luck to us all.

Chicken_Nugget_2 · 2026-06-16T11:28:04+00:00

You can have all the sex in the world and still feel lonely.

ShiniTheM · 2026-06-16T09:14:48+00:00

Yeah, so?

All this post does is amuse women looking at you wallowing in your own self-pity.

Men have lost the gender war. The least you can do is accept it with dignity, not whine about it.

Ronniebbb · 2026-06-16T13:12:49+00:00

So real loneliness is lack of sex? Why the heck aren't you just being less picky and pay for service then you won't be lonely anymore

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-16T13:16:03+00:00

You can easily experience what women do if you go gay, or to prison

RoxieRoxie0 · 2026-06-16T14:11:03+00:00

I don't want sex. I want a friend. If it's a really good friend that I feel really safe with, there's high likelihood that I will want sex with them.

Toe2ToeBirdLaw · 2026-06-16T16:28:39+00:00

the fact that men seem to think loneliness is just about access to sex is wild and completely baffling to me.

Dependent-Tailor7366 · 2026-06-16T17:16:01+00:00

Sex does not alleviate loneliness for women. Sex does not have the value for women that it has for men. Just because someone wants to use a woman’s body does not mean they even like her at all.

Accomplished_Pack527 · 2026-06-16T09:55:50+00:00

It’s stupid equating lack of sex with loneliness.

If that’s the case, then go hit on a woman who’s short, obese and ugly. Or go pay for a prostitute. Loneliness solved. No?

The “problem” with “lonely men like you” is that you can’t get the pretty girl who goes 50/50 but takes care of you, births your kids and does chores for you.

ValeWho · 2026-06-16T09:59:04+00:00

Casual Sex does not cure loneliness

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-06-16T11:16:31+00:00

Women tend to have friends so yes not as high rates of self reported loneliness.

Gemini_zyx · 2026-06-16T09:06:27+00:00

As pointed out by others sex is not the same as loneliness.

Hypothetically if you could lose your name, face and identity but be able to have sex a lot would you do it?

KoninginVanRotterdam · 2026-06-16T11:43:09+00:00

WITH WHOM IS THE AVERAGE STRAIGHT WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP?

EmpressJJ · 2026-06-16T12:14:05+00:00

You’re wrong, women can be alone at home in their room playing video games, having no friends and no sex, as well.

zhrimpypimp · 2026-06-16T17:19:15+00:00

Aw this is so sad. So many of you men are cooked.

SimilarChampionship2 · 2026-06-16T11:29:13+00:00

Being able to get sex doesn’t fix loneliness. You live in a distorted reality if you think that’s the case. Loneliness is about lacking meaningful connections, belonging, and emotional intimacy, not just access to sexual partners.

Also, having options you don’t want isn’t the same as having the relationships you actually need.

These “discussions” are ridiculous. All this whining and arguing that women should have more empathy for lonely, sexless men and lower their standards but then you all turn around and dismiss women’s loneliness entirely, claiming it’s not real because women can get sex more easily. You can’t ask for empathy while refusing to extend any yourself.

Zestyclose_Sugar4573 · 2026-06-16T11:58:48+00:00

There is being lonely and feeling lonely. Being lonely is absolute. Feeling lonely is relative. If one is talking about sex, then generally it is easier for them mostly. However, wanting more than only just sex then it becomes somewhat harder.

No_Project_4738 · 2026-06-16T18:59:01+00:00

You’re essentially saying that even a women who doesn’t take care of herself still has something to offer that is valuable enough that she get attention from men. So, wouldn’t the solution be to have something of great value to offer? Having something of great value to offer isn’t exclusive to women.

Zestyclose_Sugar4573 · 2026-06-19T11:51:02+00:00

Just have a feeling that a lot of women are being burned by the same socially successful narcissistic men so that they are not available to other regular men.

Pfacejones · 2026-06-19T17:23:04+00:00

If her face is feminine, there are tons of masculine looking women who suffer the same loneliness. Women are not immune from suffering due to being unwanted

supressedthoughts · 2026-06-19T18:14:23+00:00

In a relationship yes but not being heard and respected as a human is another

colawrites · 2026-06-22T21:54:21+00:00

Loneliness isn't fixed by sex. This actually made me so sad, I'm struggling with loneliness and a lack of friends yet because I have sex sometimes it means I can't be sobbing alone at night because none of my friends ever reach out first? None of them put effort in to carry conversations? You don't see women as people and that's why you can't believe we'd experience an unfortunately universal, human emotion. Sex won't fix whatever is wrong with you

Glittering-Garlic-15 · 2026-06-24T09:03:42+00:00

I wish I could give you an award

Glittering-Garlic-15 · 2026-06-24T09:43:54+00:00

"Unmarried women are roughly 80% to 86% more likely to experience depressive symptoms than their married peers" Oof...

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2026-06-16T10:19:44+00:00

This dumb ass myth again...Many women who are lonely are in relationships. Men, or anybody for that matter, who believe a relationship is the cure to loneliness are the worst. You probably lovebomb women and that's why they avoid you.. Get hobbies, get friends, get a life. No woman wants to have the responsibility of solving your loneliness issues. As an adult, if you can't be single without being lonely you have deeper issues that no woman will ever knowingly involve herself in.

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-06-16T11:46:37+00:00

"Look at meeeeee. I'm the winner of the Struggle Olympics and my personal feelings are the ONLY thing that matters in the entire world."

Do you even hear yourself? The most beautiful person on earth can still feel loneliness. The most privileged person can still experience hardship. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but that doesn't mean other people don't also have problems. Stop being such a victim.

Right-Conference-437 · 2026-06-16T10:25:45+00:00

Then aren't you actually just that men will fuck anything and women wont? Stupid ass

AnimalLoose2402 · 2026-06-16T12:12:21+00:00

So what is true loneliness? Would you become a woman if you had the choice?

Lost_Reaction_5489 · 2026-06-16T12:24:37+00:00

There are hardly any men who are so repulsive that they can't find a partner. It's this cloud of sadness, anger, and bitterness that chases away anyone who could find you attractive or want to be with you

AutisticRats · 2026-06-16T17:50:25+00:00

A bunch of sex and relationships would make me feel lonely. If I wanted that, I could go on Grindr and get these things immediately from men, or use any other dating app and get them eventually from women.

I want connection. I want someone who is excited for my small achievements. Someone I am excited for their small achievements. Someone who is always looking out for me, as I am always looking out for them. So many men are so distracted by sexlessness they don't even understand the loneliness they suffer from.

toad-wrangler · 2026-06-16T22:15:18+00:00

Being lonely and not having sex are not the same thing.

Unique_Mind2033 · 2026-06-17T01:07:19+00:00

Somebody can be in a relationship and feel so lonely. Especially because that guy is definitely using her body for sex or her labor to make his own life easier

KayRay1994 · 2026-06-16T10:39:52+00:00

“I was born in the darkness, molded by it!” ahh post

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Axis_Control · 2026-06-17T17:07:21+00:00

Not every woman is going around having casual sex so yeah they can be just as lonely

Federal-Usual9815 · 2026-06-17T23:08:40+00:00

Yo creo que las mujeres son más rechazadas por su físico que los hombres.... En cambio un hombre amable y con trabajo le pueden llover las mujeres 🤣🤣🤣 quizás es solo cuestión de percepción. También hoy en día más mujeres están dispuestas a aguantar cada vez menos a un idiota

Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness is

Comments

CORRECT. I COULDN'T CARE LESS.

WITH WHOM IS THE AVERAGE STRAIGHT WOMAN IN A RELATIONSHIP?

Title	Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness is
Author	Hefty-Can2764
Upvotes	4
Comments	361
Date	June 16, 2026 8:37 AM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u77s5w/women_couldnt_even_begin_to_understand_what_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-couldnt-even-begin-to-understand-what-real.1582883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582883