Literally every guy I meet that I’m nice too thinks this. It’s why they hate women who are snarky. Unkind women are the worst thing on the planet according to them.

LevelTurbulent · 2021-02-10T17:57:46+00:00

I have a funny, sad story. My best friend recently told me about something that happened almost 20 years ago.

She owned a business with her husband, they're now divorced. Back then she worked in the business every day with their young son. So one day I stop in to see her because I'm in the area. I walk in and her husband and her father are there. I ask if she's in, they tell me no she stayed home. I ask if she's feeling ok, thinking she might be sick, they tell me she's fine she just wanted to get some things done. Ok, I say it was nice seeing them both and leave. I also had my young son with me.

So, later her husband tells her how I'd come into their business to fuck him. And shockingly enough, her father backs him up. I was clearly there to fuck. She asks why exactly they think that. Well, I came into their business when she wasn't there! She explains that she was expected to be there and I had no way of knowing she wouldn't be there. Then they say it was obvious because of what I was wearing! Well, she asked, what was she wearing. Shorts and a t-shirt! And it was a v-neck t-shirt! And she said ok, she was wearing her normal summer clothes on a hot summer day. And then she asked if my son was with me. They said well... yes. Ok, so you're trying to say she's some evil degenerate pedophile who wanted to have sex with you in front of her son? Well...uhhhhhhhhh.

They would not accept I wasn't there to sleep with him. They said I was too nice. My best friend pointed out I have always been polite and nice to both of them and I was polite and nice to pretty much everybody. Eventually my best friend started laughing and her husband demanded to know what was so funny and she finally told him, "She thinks you're very ugly and gross and she doesn't know how I can stomach having sex with you, she does not want you." Then her husband and father were both pissed because how dare I not want to have sex with him!

She only told me this recently and I was all OMG, why did you never tell me this? And she said it was so stupid and she didn't believe it for a second and she just thought it would hurt my feelings if she told me. But yeah, all I ever was to both of those men was polite and respectful because they were my best friend's husband and father and they tried to smear the shit out of me for it for no reason. Just because I was nice to them.

PasDeTout · 2021-02-10T17:56:46+00:00

There was a man on my team who I really disliked. I did force myself to say a cheery ‘good morning’ when he arrived at the office and there would be no further reaction. Another man on the team was convinced I had the hots for him.

Even worse, there was a man at work who was so evil to me he actually made me cry in the office more than once. Apparently I had the hots for him too.

It’s insane.

sunologie · 2021-02-10T18:22:09+00:00

I disagree bc as a snarky mean bitch men still won’t leave me alone and take it as an invitation to “chase me” and think I’m “playing hard to get.” Men are so egotistical and tiny-brained they will think you want to sleep with them no matter what; that’s why no matter how many times you say no or how you say it they’ll keep pushing and keep trying to change your mind, bc to them they don’t think women ever really mean it.

Tatterhood78 · 2021-02-10T22:12:31+00:00

I really, really wish I still had the screenshot but there was a "local viral" post going around a few years ago where a dude left a 1 star review for a local bar because the bartender didn't go home with him.

I don't remember the exact wording but it went like this "I stayed at this bar for hours because the bartender kept smiling and joking with me me. I spent way more than I meant to, and then waited for almost an hour by her car in the cold after the bar closed. When she came out, she started freaking out at me and told me she was going to call the cops. I'm so sick of women pretending to be interested to steal my money. It shouldn't be allowed."

He got roasted so hard he got driven off Facebook.

complex_answer_22 · 2021-02-10T18:45:36+00:00

Works in shitty relationships too. Try to be affectionate and sweet, and you're "clingy" or "smothering". Ignore their ass though, and they collectively complain they don't get enough compliments or affection. Because affection = sex for most men.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-02-10T17:26:32+00:00

I ignore them completely. But even then I know of a guy who thought a woman wore shorts because she wanted to fuck HIM, why else would she wear them? That still sticks in my mind because it’s so unreal. You never know you just can’t be safe really. Anything you do is a sign that you want to fuck them. They are sick SICK

Angeli_33 · 2021-02-10T17:06:05+00:00

This is sadly so true. When I smile at men or talk to them they think I want to sleep with them. I don't act snarky to them I just try to avoid interactions as much as possible to be honest or seem as indifferent as possible.

dingdingdingdongbing · 2021-02-10T18:40:33+00:00

I hate being this way, but it's true. No eye contact, resting bitch face, etc.

Sometimes I'll think I'm over-doing it by feeling this way and try to treat them like everyone else and then I'm reminded why we do this.

OrangeyPanda · 2021-02-10T18:07:25+00:00

It's because men are only nice and acknowledge the existence of women they want to have sex with, they assume women are the same way. They don't understand platonic interaction with women unless its their mom. And even then, look at their porn these days.

circescircus · 2021-02-10T17:53:54+00:00

The best way to be mean is to be an ice queen. If you act outwardly 'mean' to them in a petulant little girl way, they'll double down on their meanness towards you, because they don't take your 'meanness' seriously. They know you're a scared little girl. This is why men laugh at women who go on about "I drink boy tears". They know you don't.

You have to make them uncomfortable by showing them disdain in a ruthless, cold, emotionless, ice queen style.

Pretend like they don't exist, don't acknowledge them. Only talk to them when necessary, and when you do, don't say please or thank you too many times. Be direct, almost robotic, and borderline rude. If the guy tries to do some kind of power play, indirectly and politely treat him like gum on the bottom of your shoe, with an ice queen smile on your face. They're so dumb and delusional, that in the moment, they don't realize you're showing them contempt. They only realize it later, they get upset about it, and after that you start to creep them out/make them uncomfortable, and they go out of their way to avoid you. They're not going to push it, not in this metoo age. Not unless they think you're a complete bimbo and doormat. The average schmuck working for a paycheck, doesn't want to lose their job.

I have a lot of experience dealing with low EQ delusional men (work in tech). Currently work remotely, and I love it so much-- I think I'll only work remote jobs going forward.

Being an ice queen just works, it is effective. Look at Reddit-- men don't talk about women drinking their boy tears or abusing them, we don't live in a cartoon or on opposite day. Men cry about women being cold to them. Ever met a guy who was hung up on his ex, even an ex from 5 or 10 years ago? Chances are good she was/is an ice queen.

iwant-to-stay-unknow · 2021-02-10T18:08:49+00:00

Omfg, so true. I’m small with a baby face and the number of times guys would openly call me “sweet” and even “cute” is staggering. I’m not even that nice, I’m just a decent human being with a helping of politeness on the side. These guys also felt entitled to my time and somehow thought I should be in a relationship with them. Because I was so “nice” and “adorable” and I was what they were looking for. It’s really creepy how some men are really into child-appearing women. 🤮🤮🤮

One even immediately tried to tell me about his bdsm fetish when we’ve barely talked. 🤮

heythereitsemily · 2021-02-10T20:50:01+00:00

Back at an old job, men would make jokes about how I’m quiet or shy and I’d just agree. I don’t have to prove that I’m anything different and I don’t want to converse with them anyways. It was always funny tho, because when I’m seen with another woman, chatting at her desk or sharing a table for lunch, I’m talkative, happy, outgoing and everything all the men wanted me to be to them. I think they realized after awhile that I’m not shy, I’m just not interested. They stopped talking to me, just like I wanted.

chokkolate · 2021-02-10T21:18:18+00:00

I used to catch the same bus every single day. I would enter the bus, say "good morning" to the bus driver, give him the coins and go through the turnstile. One day I said "good morning" as usual, gave him the coins as usual. He took it and just slid his hand slowly against mine while looking at me in the eye. I was so shocked (I was younger too, that was some years ago) that I didn't say anything, just turned around very fast and went through the turntile. And I changed the time I usually took the bus so I wouldn't meet him ever again.

Mind you, I wasn't even smiling when I talked to him. It was done in a very cold, mechanical way. I was just educated to greet everyone when I enter a place, so it was done out of obligation.

I still get pissed when I remember it. How my simple greeting in his deranged mind was some kind of invitation. I remember the disgusting sensation of his greasy hands, his malicious eyes.

Nowadays I don't say anything anymore, I avoid greeting men I don't know specially. If they greet me first I'll say it back with the most bitchy face I can muster. We can't be nice. We just can't.

Forwardgash · 2021-02-10T18:07:32+00:00

Even when I’m mean to them they find it funny. Even us being mean they can twist into something that flatters themselves.

BetterToBeLonely · 2021-02-10T21:28:19+00:00

Every man I know thinks every waitress and hairdresser is hitting on him. Like it never occurs to them that she works for tips. I cant even count how many times a man I know thinks the bartender is flirting with him just because she asks "what do you want?". You know, just doing her job instead of spitting on him and calling him names.

the-worst- · 2021-02-10T18:22:40+00:00

This is why I gave up on making online friends. Guys hear "I'm married, I just want a few friends with mutual interests" but interpret it as "I want to sext and send nudes because I'm being somewhat decent".

spicyspa · 2021-02-10T19:54:45+00:00

I remember one time I dropped off a package for my cousin. She wasn't there. I said something off-hand like, "You must be bored since she's away." (Context here - we women know that men can't entertain themselves and self-soothe without a woman and this was prior to the internet).

He looked at me as if I had propositioned him. I realized my "mistake" and gave him a confused, slightly disgusted look. He never really spoke to me directly after that.

He was a really religious person and a part of the "Men's Thunder Chorus" which was from some men's religious group back in the early 90s the leader of which of course, had multiple affairs. When her husband later got a FB account, I peeked on it, and sure enough, most of his friends were young female local singers. Shock/s.

strawbri_ · 2021-02-10T20:22:44+00:00

You lead me on by ... checks notes .. not ignoring me when I talk to you!

Waste-Win · 2021-02-10T21:12:21+00:00

One day me and my male coworkers:

Me: What would you think if a woman tells you that they like your shirt?

Them: She likes me, and want sth with me

Me: But she told you she likes your shirt not you

Them: But if she's noticing is because she is into me

What I learned: Don't compliment a man unless you are interested in them because that would "lead them on".

super_thinker_ · 2021-02-10T20:22:47+00:00

Gross. So true. Last year, a male co worker of mine (probably around 30 years older than me) had to take time off of work when his father died. I emailed him offering my condolences and told him I could cover his shift. In his next email, he thanked me and asked me out for drinks...

_fuyumi · 2021-02-10T21:10:25+00:00

"why woman if no have sex with me?"

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-02-10T17:52:03+00:00

This applies to family members too. When I'm nice to them, they are all grumpy, and they wouldn't even look at me, but when I'm my normal self, even if I'm being mean a bit, they smile, make jokes etc. It's quite sad.

LocationCritical8937 · 2021-02-10T21:09:33+00:00

I am one of those people who naturally has a very warm/obviously empathetic energy that people pick up on very easily.

It is advantageous in some ways because I connect well with people and tend to build trust easily, but it also makes me a target for weirdos and predators.

Anyone have any tips on how to deal with men while not compromising my natural "presentation"/aura?

I've literally been avoiding speaking with men as much as possible because I have no idea what else to do.

Sweetlikecream · 2021-02-10T21:54:35+00:00

Honestly this is why i never compliment men.

Snowmist92 · 2021-02-10T23:00:07+00:00

Get this: my ex, a male, told me to not be too nice to men who say hi on the street. While I saw this as being controlling and insecure, he also wasn't wrong. Other men tell us this and then get mad when we call them out.

Sensitive-Shoe-1079 · 2021-02-10T18:05:18+00:00

Ain't this the truth.

valleycupcake · 2021-02-10T22:39:50+00:00

As a bubbly, affectionate, completely innocent teenager, my mom tried to teach me this. She said if I’m going to hug my male friends, I should do a side hug. I thought she was crazy and overprotective. Nope. She knew.

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-02-10T23:11:42+00:00

(Some) Men think everyone wants to have sex with them which is odd because it’s so easy for us as women to get laid. Like they greatly over value their “goods.”

Solid-Liquid · 2021-02-10T19:56:22+00:00

This I gotta work on, so many dudes at my part time retail job think I wanna fuck them 😒

MrsTaylor101318 · 2021-02-10T19:17:32+00:00

This isn't always true unfortunately. I've met men that loveee it when you're mean and rude to them.

roonil_wazlib_the2nd · 2021-02-11T00:36:51+00:00

This is why I have mastered the art of avoiding eye contact with most men in public. I think face masks have really helped too.

FMAB-EarthBender · 2021-02-10T22:12:59+00:00

I can act like I hate them and they still assume this tbh. Its a terrifying world out there ladies, be careful!

katathe · 2021-02-10T18:43:00+00:00

Especially when partying with ur girlfriends... if you are nice they think you will fck them. Last time this one dude got mad because i was talking to other dudes (and girls) as well... and i am like.. uuuuhh i was not interested in you anyway, i was not flirting with you. I was just being nice. He was good-looking, but i am not interested in hookups. I have more respect for myself than to be used like that.

VanityDecay666 · 2021-02-10T22:14:46+00:00

I do ignoring routine or be more passive so they dont get the wrong idea. Somehow a vast majority of males think I'm trying it on if I have a simple conversation about nature or art :|

Men forever proving they think with their little prawn.

dkarm · 2021-02-10T22:42:44+00:00

I saw two situations with guy friends this past week where I could tell the women they were just being polite/friendly with no interest, but when they walked away, they were like oh yeah they want me. You really can’t win.

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2021-02-11T01:55:14+00:00

Reminds me of the scene in Four Weddings and a Funeral where the woman had spoken politely to the other wedding guest in a hotel bar. She had to hide behind a chair to ditch him. She overhears him telling another wedding guest, “I think I’m in there!” about her and she shook her head “No way!” before running back to her room to escape him.

If you make polite conversation with an LVM, they think they’re “in there!” 😂

Theboredshrimp · 2021-02-11T04:32:51+00:00

That's what my sister taught me when I was a child and she was only 15, she has always been very wise; "don't smile at boys like you would smile at girls, don't be friends with them, they don't understand kindness the same way girls do, don't play with them or giggle at them because once you give them a hand they'll eat your whole arm" I'm SO thankful she taught me that when I was in ELEMENTARY, and oh boy was she right

GAaliyah12 · 2021-02-11T00:34:32+00:00

This why I don't fake laugh at men's corny ass jokes.

BungalowBootieBitch · 2021-02-11T02:23:41+00:00

Something I sadly had to begin doing was really bro-ing up my speech in order to seem unappealing. A lot of dude, bro, homie, etc. I also would basically introduce myself with my worst qualities or exaggerated them. So I would say that I'm flakey, lazy, antisocial, etc. Literally anything to make it clear I was just a friend and not someone to approach romantically.

Meredeen · 2021-02-11T04:16:54+00:00

a guy in his 40s at my job (he was a dishwasher and was in his own band on the side) took me being nice to him as me being into him, and then when I shot him down he started spreading shit with other coworkers that I led him on. I was in my early 20s. What the fuck is wrong with men? Now I treat men, especially older men with complete indifference because I don't want them to take it the wrong way.

Lurker scrotes, don't complain about women being cold with you when you and your bros are so fucking stupid that you can't distinguish normal kindness from sexual interest...

imarriedmybookshelf · 2021-02-10T23:30:03+00:00

i was mean to the men at my workplace and they resented me for it......I LOVE IT! Stay away you crusty unwashed creeps!

MissVvvvv · 2021-02-10T22:51:49+00:00

Its true though. And it's fucking exhausting!

balleballe111111 · 2021-02-11T03:11:35+00:00

Ugh, I'm going through this with my neighbor right now! I have never been anything other than polite to him and this somehow means to him that he should come over uninvited and high and then repeatedly "confess" to me despite my immediate clear and firm no. He keeps asking "if I'm sure" while feebly grabbing at my arm like he wanted to grab me but was too high. Keep in mind he is falling down on his ass over and over during this display. I have literally exchanged short neighborly politeness with him. Literally only treated him like a human being. But of course I exist nearby with a pussy and am not "claimed" by another man so I must want to fuck!

uptownxthot · 2021-02-11T03:19:28+00:00

sometimes i wish i was snarkier to men but i’d rather not be buried 6 feet under 😭

VaporwaveVampire · 2021-02-11T04:13:32+00:00

They say they want nice women, but if you're nice they that means you want to sleep with them.

They beg women to sleep with them and give them attention, but if you sleep with them and treat them nicely they'll lose their respect for you.

what are women supposed to do?

Starsuponstars · 2021-02-11T11:00:20+00:00

A small story to illustrate the truth of this:

I'm an expat and live in a country with a considerable language barrier. I used to live in a little town that was so small, I had to take a train to a nearby larger town to get anything done. So I was often at the little train station. There were about three or four different employees who manned the station at various times. They had varying levels of friendliness / English language skills. There was one, a dark-haired young man with a sharp, intelligent face, who spoke English a little better than average. I used to think of him as "the smart one."

Every other day or so, I'd come to the station, buy my ticket, and take the train. An uneventful experience, usually. Transactions were polite and pleasant.

But one day, I happened to run into the smart one outside of the train station. Our eyes met and, because I'm American and smiling is reflexive for us, I gave him a little smile as I passed.

He stared back at me wide-eyed, and then his face distorted into an expression of the most rancid disgust. A look of pure hatred. Of outrage. How dare I smile at him. HOW DARE I.

At the time I thought it very strange, but I understand it now. Men think even a split-second upturning of our mouths in their direction means we're trying to fuck them. He was nearly driven to tears of rage by the very idea of fat middle-aged me, hitting on him!

After that, I no longer thought of him as "the smart one," rather as "the piece of shit," and every time I bought a ticket from him thereafter, I would stare him down with all the hatred in my soul. If looks could burn men to ash, he'd be a pile of charcoal.

He was unfailingly polite and correct in return.

sedthecherokee · 2021-02-11T01:21:54+00:00

Even if you’re mean to them, they still think you wanna sleep with them 😒

relationship_reddit · 2021-02-11T04:59:18+00:00

My ex thought several of the women and girls at work were flirting with him because they were nice to him. They were just the kind of people who were nice to everybody. I told him that, but I'm sure he really does still believe he was special to them.

berrylikeova · 2021-02-11T08:46:52+00:00

Ugh, my sperm donor is like this. Every waitress, cashier, customer service rep, you name it. Oh she clearly wants him. It's disgusting. Never told me that of course, couldn't let his daughter know how he really sees women. But my (male) cousin likes to make fun of him for it and get him riled up by saying "she was nicer to me, I think it's me she wants" and when he loses his shit my cousin will roll his eyes and tell him how fucking dumb he sounds.

Frankly, I'm glad I no longer speak to him.

Edit: A word

smart-tart23 · 2021-02-11T02:03:18+00:00

2021-02-10T23:27:33+00:00

[removed]

rightioushippie · 2021-02-10T23:47:57+00:00

Or marry them

Interesting_Day1188 · 2021-02-14T23:32:15+00:00

I actually had an ex who told me to mistreat him in the guise of 'you need to be able to take the heat', when we got into a debate over a topic he had no knowledge, but was directly related to the job I had at the time, had articles on, and actually had to do research for in the past.

The minute I let loose being 'mean', aka honest, is the moment he turned around and started to say I was trying to start shit.

The funnier part is that he was a US Marine. So much for being tough!

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