Since you're all on this subreddit, I guess some of you must feel this way, right? The reason I brought this up is because I met a new friend recently who's really into painting. His ability to make art is what fuels his happiness. He's the most fascinating friend I've ever met because I cannot sense a single part of him that is bitter/insecure about not getting girls. He's not the most attractive guy out there, but he's still a genuinely happy guy.

I'm honestly jealous. I wish I could find a passion that could make me feel that way. I'm already 34 and lived so many years trying to find new hobbies to keep me happy. But they were all just a distraction from what REALLY made me happy. Being desired by women. Nowadays, I'm good. I'm doing decent in the dating world, but I fear how my life will be if I ever go bald or succumb into an injury that causes me facial scarring, or an injury that prevents me from weight-lifting. I'm ashamed to admit this, but I view my self-worth based on how the opposite sex treats me. I wish it wasn't like this, but it is. For years I've been trying to fight this mentality.

So when I met my new friend and learned that he doesn't really have a dating life but he's still happy because his art is what fuels his happiness, I was happy for him, but at the same time "envious."

I think this problem affects women more than it affects men. Women are more likely to define their self-worth on how attractive they are. I've heard girls who say they would lose 20 years of their life to be beautiful. For guys, it's similar but not to the extent of girls.

I'd like to hear your perspectives.