Men should approach less and reject more

BandemicBuffering · 2024-09-16T18:46:46+00:00

You can't reject more when you're not being admired let alone approached...

DaddyStone13 · 2024-09-16T18:23:59+00:00

blud think most men have opportunities to make rejections

Alarming_Ask_244 · 2024-09-16T19:26:21+00:00

If the average woman rejected men more, she would still likely find a relationship. If the average man rejected women more (whether that's rejection women who approach, which never happens, or more likely simply approaching women less), he will likely never find a relationship. The two situations are not comparable.

MikeArrow · 2024-09-16T20:18:07+00:00

What kind of fantasy land is this, where I'm so inundated with interest that I can afford to reject it? Like I don't have to wait years and years for even one woman to come along that's interested in me.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-09-17T00:07:18+00:00

Reject more what? Unless you are an 8 and above as a guy, you ain't getting approached my dude.

Ripley_Riley · 2024-09-16T18:19:56+00:00

Agreed. Fewer men should approach women.

Sincerely,

All the men who appreciate you taking yourself out of the competition

W-Pilled · 2024-09-16T20:44:07+00:00

The only thing that seems to be the general consensus in this sub is that being an asshole is better than a nice guy because at least you don't give power to women and women don't like nice guys

zoxzoxzo · 2024-09-16T21:27:01+00:00

You are comparing apples with oranges. Average man can't afford handing out rejections like an average woman because he doesn't get nearly as many options, unless he wants to stay single for a very long time

No_Jellyfish_5498 · 2024-09-16T22:59:53+00:00

Just reject imaginary women bro

TomCatoNineLives · 2024-09-16T18:27:04+00:00

Desperation will never leave anyone with power. But it's false that whoever gets approached has the power. Whoever approaches has the power of deciding whether anyone will get approached at all, which is power itself.

What men should do is be more selective in whom they approach, and make approaches with more consideration and effort. That means first knowing and understanding themselves, then developing an understanding of the qualities they want in another person, and how best to approach such a person.

FlatwormEmpty4383 · 2024-09-16T21:47:07+00:00

Well, that'd be easier if women approached us too, but they don't. Therefore...

LockDownHalfGuard · 2024-09-17T06:05:12+00:00

In order to reject, I need to be approached. I never get approached.

KamuiObito · 2024-09-17T18:58:03+00:00

Men in general should just use women for sex more. Sounds bad. But most women use the men they are with today for lifestyle and survival. The love comes after the first couple months to years. It should be about the same for men..most (over half) of the men who have actual decent careers are literally only in a relationship because of that, i can bet my life on it. Women meeting men like that are looking at his potential and what he could bring. She doesn’t genuinely care about you until years..love for womem is an over time thing genuinely. They can spend time with a fucking peice of paper for 10 year ts is gonna be decorated and stuff..

MongoBobalossus · 2024-09-16T18:52:27+00:00

While you shouldn’t be desperate, I don’t think that just sitting around and waiting for a woman to approach you is a good strategy for the average to below average man.

wtknight · 2024-09-16T20:20:24+00:00

Men approach a lot because women are so choosy. If women were not as choosy, men would approach less. Men approach a lot because the numbers game is the best way for a guy to meet a woman who is actually attracted to him.

Randomwoowoo · 2024-09-16T21:34:34+00:00

I completely agree. Having higher standards only helps get better results. You just may not have more results.

But I’ve turned down plenty of date requests from men and women in my past, because they didn’t make my cut. And I would always encourage people to just have high standards and not settle. Even if that means being single.

Teflon08191 · 2024-09-17T23:05:08+00:00

They already are approaching less. I'd even argue that the uptick in "femcels" that we've seen lately is a corollary of exactly that.

Wing_Puzzleheaded · 2024-09-17T03:08:44+00:00

Women are lazy in dating. This is a big reason why I stopped trying.

Flintblood · 2024-09-16T19:54:07+00:00

I flaired myself “purple pill man” because I accept some RP type social heuristics (lift, fashion, work on mission, she’s not yours - it’s only your turn, minor hypergamy and dual mating strategy of women), but believe that much of the detailed RP prescriptions are too extreme and potentially toxic to all genders. That said I completely agree with this and there were many times when I let things progress when I should not have done so - because I knew I was not open to a relationship and may have led some on. And there were several times where I waited too late or tried for more when the evidence told me she was no longer interested.

New_Alarm4355 · 2024-09-17T00:50:23+00:00

This is like telling communication majors to reject job offers😂😂😂😂

Handsome_Goose · 2024-09-17T02:11:20+00:00

Pigs should fly more

ExcelsiorState718 · 2024-09-17T04:18:08+00:00

Yeah sure they would approach all the chiseled jaw muscle bound 6'+ guys and the rich guys or the pookies basically the guys they find attractive

Just like they do with OLD.

Online dating basically appeals to women's dating strategy they respond to the most attractive guys.. which is exactly what they would do if they approached.

To many men just don't understand women...They truth is they don't find mist men attractive..they can easily get laid anytime theres very little incentive for women to approach men when they can get their emotional needs satisfied by friends and pets and their sexual needs satisfied by toys and jump offs.

So for a woman to approach she has to be attracted or need some money or something..and women only find about 2% of men attractive...Now when a man approaches a woman he might not be initially attractive to her but his swagger,his confidence his jokes etc could be a catalyst that ignites her attraction or maybe she just likes the attention or she thinks the guy could be useful to have around..

Are men going out and approaching 60 year old grandmothers,no...now if the 60 year old grandmother was Madonna and she approached,you might consider her offer..

Lastly if women did approach they would still be in the same situation the majority of the time because they're naturally attracted to the worst men for long term mating..

AcephalicDude · 2024-09-16T18:54:41+00:00

I think it's better to frame it as not putting your ego at stake immediately, and only gradually staking your ego as the relationship develops.

If you approach to try to flirt and maybe get a date, you should not be taking rejection personally. The person you are trying to flirt with knows nothing about you, at worst they are rejecting superficial characteristics but it might not even be that - they might just not be receptive at all, for any number of reasons.

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-09-16T18:24:13+00:00

Disinterested women have no “power” over men. The 7 women who reject a man wouldn’t have even noticed he was alive if he didn’t interfere with their day.

Feisty_Response_9401 · 2024-09-16T19:21:01+00:00

Most men are not approaching women anyway, nor they are having women approaching them. Many men already have partners or don't really want to take the risk of being creeps. How many men do you see approaching women? I see at most one a month, outside of "acceptable" environments such as clubs.

Most men meet women organically at work, or by friends of friends, etc.

Men also have video games, dating apps, porn, etc. Women are needed for family and stuff, but to be fair, many men don't want or don't appreciate that anyway.

ColbyXXXX · 2024-09-16T18:44:01+00:00

Yeah please stop approaching women. This will make them more receptive to me.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-09-16T18:17:40+00:00

Each man should go get what he desires and try to do the best for himself when it comes to dating.

And the ones that can’t will be left behind.

Jesusofthedinosaurs · 2024-09-16T21:48:53+00:00

Men have to be thicker-skinned than women if they want to succeed in the game of romance. It's always been that way. You're not going to have women approaching you unless you're exceptionally attractive.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-09-16T22:23:11+00:00

Why cold approach are so popular ? The criteria that make you rejected or stay in the friendzone is attraction. It's not about chasing or rejecting clients but to find the right partner

Ok-Assistant-1220 · 2024-09-16T22:48:18+00:00

Testosterone wont let us.

Boredape1525 · 2024-09-16T22:53:47+00:00

Eh men approach more since they are less risk adverse as a whole and more interested in sex/relationships. Also just because a men approach doesn't mean women have all the power, guys can up and leave whenever they wants oftentimes after they gets what they desires which is often sex.

MrNotSoFunFact · 2024-09-17T00:30:39+00:00

This would literally exterminate all het romance as well as the entire human race.

Bu11ism · 2024-09-17T01:12:19+00:00

You can say the word "should" as many times as you want, it's not gonna happen.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-09-17T02:17:08+00:00

Laughed insanely hard at the idea of even the average man rejecting more as if he's even been hit on.

Pola_Lita · 2024-09-17T10:58:40+00:00

Either of the sexes want the other sex to do all of the approaching. This is basic human psychology. Whoever gets approached, has the power.

I don't get it. If they have to wait to be approached...

akashrajkishore · 2024-09-16T18:36:16+00:00

This falsely assumes that women only rarely face rejection. They do, just not in the same way as men do. It would be better if people just stop taking rejection so personally.

Although I've noticed that men are more likely to stay loyal in useless/toxic relationships than women. I think that needs to change.

Who approaches who depends on the situation and the place. Safety is also a big concern for women, we can't forget that.

the_1st_inductionist · 2024-09-16T18:38:22+00:00

The men who approach women too much should approach women less. That would be better for them. The men who approach women too little should approach women more. That would be better for them.

As a man, I don’t want women to do all of the approaching. It’s the greater power that men have that makes it easier for them to approach. And a woman doesn’t have any power over a man just because he approaches her. He can stop associating with her whenever he thinks it’s best for himself. It’s an act of power to approach someone because you’re asking them to consider you without being asked.

MrAnonPoster · 2024-09-16T18:54:55+00:00

This is silly. Most men do not approach. Most men women want do not approach women who want them.

berichorbeburied · 2024-09-16T20:07:51+00:00

This is the female perspective in full effec

Penises penetrate vaginas

Sperm flows into ovaries

So on the most basic level

“Men” are always approaching

So if we take that too the most macro of levels

Approaching Is inherently masculine

Being approached is inherently feminine

For a woman to approach you

You must either be

such a catch that refusing to approach you comes at a huge opportunity cost
so attractive that hormones or lust or fantasies are propelling her to approach you
she’s bored or is doing it for no apparent reason
she has no other options and/or is desperate
you are the best option and she’s scared she will not find a better one

Any woman with multiple good options or maybe even multiple options in general

Are not going to reliably be approaching multiple men if any at all

So what you are proposing is dating/mating suicide

Or you are promoting settling and dissastisfactuon with women

Either way this something only someone with the female perspective in mind would envision

Main_Aside_3072 · 2024-09-16T21:24:59+00:00

Do you see why most men think woman have no clue what is like to be a man? A good percentage of men have never been approached by woman.

HighValueWomanBook · 2024-09-16T23:06:29+00:00

On todays episode of Why Men Shouldn't Take Advice From Women.

GridReXX · 2024-09-16T19:14:50+00:00

Counterpoint:

Keep approaching.

Reject more once you realize she's not your type.

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DPHAngel · 2024-09-16T23:07:07+00:00

Not getting approached in the first place to even reject unless we are including being asked out as a joke

WendigoBarbarian · 2024-09-16T23:21:23+00:00

I'm not some super charismatic or good looking guy my mans. I have to approach or else I won't get anywhere in my dating life.

dysonRing · 2024-09-17T00:46:37+00:00

I mean I do that but even then my rejections are respectful. Women absolutely don't give all shit about improving themselves the way men change for them.

ExcelsiorState718 · 2024-09-17T05:40:49+00:00

Who are all these unhappy men if your broke you shouldn't be focusing on women gurantee these looser men have no money.

Glittering_Drink_506 · 2024-09-17T06:57:15+00:00

I agree that men these days are way too desparate and it does give women more influence on how a relationship works, because women are the ones saying yes or no, but at the same time, it doesn't really matter.

Just find a woman that likes you and you like.

Equal7Drive · 2024-09-17T08:02:51+00:00

It would make more sense for men to be more discerning with women even when he's the one who approached her. A big problem too many men have is sunk cost fallacy after a successful approach and they end up investing too much time, energy, emotion and money in a woman who really isn't worth shit.

Just because you got her number and took her on a date doesn't mean you should be all in on her. Be willing to drop her if she's not good enough

My approach to taking women on dates is not to win her over, but rather vetting her as someone who's worth winning.

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-09-17T09:30:24+00:00

Before I came out as asexual I rarely approached anyone. Never had much interest in doing so tbh.

qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-09-17T11:41:45+00:00

OP is unable to comprehend that beggars can’t be choosers. A real toughy apparently.

Ok_Composer_1761 · 2024-09-17T11:58:27+00:00

The only equilibrium in which men and women have equal power in the dating market is if women outnumber men by some significant proportion. I don't what exactly that proportion is.

Different_Goat_87 · 2024-09-17T13:34:42+00:00

The overwhelming majority of men have no one to reject.

therealbonecrusher · 2024-09-17T13:40:55+00:00

The most powerful you will ever feel as a man is when you turn down a hot woman. Especially in a bar/club setting, how much more attention you will get from the other women afterwards is ASTOUNDING. You also don’t need to be some absolutely stud either. Dress well, be in decent shape, and walk into the room with the confidence knowing you’re gonna turn down the first hot girl who approaches you. I promise you, as a regular guy with an inflated ego, it’s not that hard lmao

Samphilbags · 2024-09-17T18:20:44+00:00

100% agree...check out Rejection Theory

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/NC6PTHTtfa

999Kuro · 2024-09-17T23:00:40+00:00

Kinda but I feel like women will be more likely to approach someone they think has potential for long term relationship. Dudes will just ask till they find somebody to hook up with, and are less likely to be looking for a long term relationship in these situations.

Like why not keep swinging if they give you unlimited stretch. Like they say, if not you, someone else will do!

just_a_place · 2024-09-18T03:30:06+00:00

"Reject More"

Yeah, sure buddy... Whatever you say. Because REALITY totally works that way.

WHO are you rejecting bruh? Who? lol

BeautifulSpring4511 · 2024-09-18T07:20:45+00:00

I wouldn't say reject more although I would say approach less. Women having too much sexual freedom in hetero dating specifically has programmed women to being unreasonably sexually picky honestly. You need reasonable requirements/standards obviously although not unreasonable. Men won't approach unless sex is guaranteed, consensual, and not excessively difficult including excessively competitive which is completely reasonable and empathiseable honestly.

buildarium · 2024-09-19T12:50:50+00:00

I agree and really get your frustration, but this simply won't work It's sad that us men have to go through with 7× the rejection (men are more sensitive on the rejection part), and it's sad we just can't change it. It shouldn't be a male made to please female world.

The reason why we can't change that is because people would me more likely to be single and our population will decline by a lot. And as a realist, I won't cling on to false "it gets better when your older" hope. Sad but true

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-09-19T14:42:33+00:00

Just say that you want the average man to be single forever and never try again LOL. Do that and keep it pushing.

Green-Quantity1032 · 2024-09-16T19:47:18+00:00

All people should stop buying iPhones, why are profit margins so high?!

But then again, if you missed the point with women, why do I expect you to realize it for iPhones?

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-09-16T21:26:30+00:00

Men reject women plenty, it's just after sex

Former_Range_1730 · 2024-09-16T19:32:07+00:00

"Men should approach less and reject more"

Actually, yes, this is what I do.

"For every man rejecting a woman, there are 7 women rejecting a man. No wonder today's men are unhappy."

All men have to do is stop asking out random women, and only go for the women that you know are into you. You aren't usually getting rejected if she wants you.

A lot of men for instance think that the blue short haired bisexual chick wants them, when most of the time they're far more into women than men. Stop going for random chicks with high hopes.

Plazmatron44 · 2024-09-16T20:55:03+00:00

Men need to stop giving fat boring mediocre women the time of day especially the sort that are from council estates who's hobbies consist of gossip and drama, the power is in men's hands they just need to think with their big heads and not their little heads.

cromulent_weasel · 2024-09-16T22:19:37+00:00

Sure, desperation is never attractive.

I do think there's societal expectations for men to be more aggressive and the pursuers though.

I also that that women 'pursue' in much more indirect and face saving ways.

PrinceBleu · 2024-09-16T23:23:56+00:00

Op are u gay?

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-09-16T23:46:19+00:00

Men should not approach women who they’re not interested in and should reject those women if they approach also. However, I see no benefit to men who are struggling from approaching fewer women in general, nor do I think these men have many opportunities to make rejections.

That doesn’t mean they should just take whatever they can get if they aren’t attracted to or don’t like her, but just sitting on your ass and waiting for your Princess to appear and sweep you off your feet is a very bad strategy. It’s not even a good strategy for women.

ConsciousFood201 · 2024-09-17T00:56:12+00:00

Take this shit over to r/teenagers where it belongs.

macucktoyuki · 2024-09-17T01:28:02+00:00

People here swear that only very attractive men get approached. I don’t have sex, and I stopped approaching women after my last breakup. Yet, I still find myself rejecting women at work and even at a high school reunion. I'm not american though.

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-09-17T06:25:27+00:00

Well if anyone takes this advice seriously then I agree, they should stay single. Please.

Main_Aside_3072 · 2024-09-16T19:41:36+00:00

Everybody is losing it, women too. Why do think women have the sexist idea of "all men are pigs"? They are often approached by the sexist, womanizer type of men. The ones that listen the "stop approaching" advice, are not the ones who are womanizers.

Samphilbags · 2024-09-17T18:04:38+00:00

100% agree. See Rejection Theory.

CalligrapherSimple39 · 2024-09-16T18:38:27+00:00

If your aim is to get a women this strategy is not gonna work to well.

If you're doing it for some kind of revenge, that's pretty sad and waste of a life...

Just forget about them ( my suggestion) or accept and deal with their actual nature

Don't be a dik

SaBahRub · 2024-09-16T19:37:40+00:00

But sex

paputsza · 2024-09-17T04:43:14+00:00

i feel like you're trying to ruin people's lives. Imagine not dating an attractive woman who has checked your specs, likes your personality and who you are as a person, and rejecting her because she's the only person to ask you out and you got your quota of rejections higher.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-09-16T18:48:25+00:00

Yes agreed. Don't approach women. Then the friends in my life who are single have a better chance 🙌

DaHouseSomalian · 2024-09-16T19:00:17+00:00

In what world whomever gets approached has all the power? The passive one who is sitting there hoping to be approached has the power? Sure! It’s like if the same logic was used to win wars: “Let’s just station our troops right here and hope the enemy comes right to where they are and engage so we can win”.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-09-17T00:22:46+00:00

To maximize happiness I’d guess both should approach more and reject more. Control your destiny and don’t settle.

Glittering_Drink_506 · 2024-09-17T06:55:41+00:00

It's a run of the mill ego battle.

Battle? If you're approaching a relationship as a "battle" no wonder you're single.

Marzipania79 · 2024-09-17T14:28:49+00:00

The man’s penis won’t allow him that regardless. Maybe it’s better that men admit that they’re in need and in demand of sex and vagina and that they start adapting more to what women want?

Cactaceaemomma · 2024-09-17T00:28:32+00:00

Thank you for leaving women in peace. We appreciate it. ✌🏼

Title	Men should approach less and reject more
Author	Cute_Gur_3173
Upvotes	109
Comments	246
Date	September 16, 2024 6:14 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1fiboo5/men_should_approach_less_and_reject_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-should-approach-less-and-reject-more.1530449 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530449

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