Weekly Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-03-08T21:00:15+00:00

This weekly thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc......

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I try not to get serious about this shit on here, but what the hell. You’ve caught me in a give-no-shits mood, so ....

Do you think I just blew up an 11 year marriage for funsies? No, there were serious problems revolving around alcohol and addiction. I asked him, begged him to get help. To choose me instead of the bottle. I would have been right there with him, and given up alcohol myself to support him

I stayed for a year and a half after a particular deal breaker incident. An incident that would have sent anyone else - male or female - running to a divorce lawyer. Because I wanted it to work between us so badly, I loved him so much. It took a second, unrelated thing to happen to force my hand

I still love him. But I had to leave. Staying with someone who is grappling with that level of addiction is impossible

He’s on a mission to destroy himself with alcohol at this point. In the couple years since we separated, he’s been arrested at least once (the cops called me looking for him on one other occasion), he’s rung up 6 figures worth of credit card bills going out, etc

As for my bf, we knew each other - as in, knew each other’s names, maybe we said hi to each other once or twice? - for a couple years while I was married. He knows my ex-h. He saw what I dealt with (who am I kidding, everyone saw). I had no idea he thought I was hot when I divorced, and he didn’t factor into it at all. I barely knew who he was

As far as taking half his shit, no. With the exception of mandated alimony that I didn’t have the option to turn down, we both walked with our own possessions. Martial assets - like the house, which is in both of our names; and which my personal savings paid for the down payment on - are being sold and the proceeds split 50/50

[–]SeemedGood[score hidden] 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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Honestly, with what went down between us and his alcohol addiction, I probably should have taken him to the cleaners. Maybe that would have snapped him into some sort of reality, as clearly losing his wife wasn’t enough to snap him out of his addiction haze

As it was, I loved him. He will always, always be family - I had no interest in taking his money. To be perfectly frank, I can see where his lifestyle is taking him - he’s going to need that money a lot more than I ever will. If I told you what his initial alimony offer was, you would be shell shocked that I turned it down

But I turned it down. And I would do it again

He also had the option to buy me out of the house (which, again, I would have asked for a price as low as legally possible). He chose to sell it and pocket the cash instead

[–]Legitimate-Tap-24351 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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I try not to get serious about this shit on here, but what the hell. You’ve caught me in a give-no-shits mood, so ....

Do you think I just blew up an 11 year marriage for funsies? No, there were serious problems revolving around alcohol and addiction. I asked him, begged him to get help. To choose me instead of the bottle. I would have been right there with him, and given up alcohol myself to support him

I stayed for a year and a half after a particular deal breaker incident. An incident that would have sent anyone else - male or female - running to a divorce lawyer. Because I wanted it to work between us so badly, I loved him so much. It took a second, unrelated thing to happen to force my hand

I still love him. But I had to leave. Staying with someone who is grappling with that level of addiction is impossible

He’s on a mission to destroy himself with alcohol at this point. In the couple years since we separated, he’s been arrested at least once (the cops me looking for him on one other occasion), he’s rung up 6 figures worth of credit card bills going out, etc

As for my bf, we knew each other - as in, knew each other’s names, maybe we said hi to each other once or twice? - for a couple years while I was married. He knows my ex-h. He saw what I dealt with (who am I kidding, everyone saw). I had no idea he thought I was hot when I divorced, and he didn’t factor into it at all. I barely knew who he was

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[–]athrowaway2832221 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you are young enough to be a virgin, why are you on ppd? Lol. It will ruin your view of romance.

oh yeah it definitely has the potential to do that, but i try to separate ppd from my real life. i feel like this is a totally different sphere than i'm in. plus idk if romance exists, but i'm able to make good friends and connections and that's really all that matters to me

Maybe they don't want to talk about that stuff with a family member. I don't, it's very private.

my cousins are like my brothers and they do talk about this stuff w/ me, but maybe not entirely. i mean they don't believe in any of this gender or pill stuff, but they talk about their own relationships. still, i think the stigma against promiscuous women is much less (outside of religious spheres) nowadays

Who wants to have a wife who kisses your children with the same mouth she blew a dozen exes with? When you don't euphemise the act, you can see the male perspective more.

well she probably has washed her mouth tons of times before that but i digress. if you're a religious and/or trad and/or low n-count and/or non-casual sex-having man, i think you are well in your right to expect a woman of the same type to commit to. otherwise imo it's just ridiculous for men to rack up body counts and in the same breath ridicule the very women they sleep with and/or call women whores when they're doing the same thing. men and women may be different but the effects of it are the same and like attracts like

[–]EusticeSymington1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

plus idk if romance exists, but i'm able to make good friends and connections and that's really all that matters to me

Of course romance exists. I'm sure you'll find a good guy.

my cousins are like my brothers and they do talk about this stuff w/ me, but maybe not entirely

No one wants to talk about stuff like graphic sex with family. Let them be innocent lol.

well she probably has washed her mouth tons of times before that but i digress

I was being purposefully blue and graphic in my description. A lot of women don't get it unless you state thing in this brutal male way, then it grosses them out. I'm sure she has washed, it's not a physical mess but the symbolism. She's kissing my baby with them very same mouth she has been swallowing loads with and popping ecstasy with and we are supposed to be overjoyed by getting this high n- count. beauty. Looks matter FAR less to me than the decisions she's made and It's a double edged sword; I will hAve made choices that are deal breakers to women. I'm flawed.

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Well it could be interesting to research, and maybe there is but I believe that in older times the slutshaming happened outside of art.

hm yeah i see, but music is a very popular if not the most popular modem of expression today (other than media), so i see why it's this way now

... but that is redpill. Fuck bitches get money. Getting money could be implied as not spending it on relationships too. Even if men can’t relate, for many it’s just about the idea. And Drake is just one of many exceptions.

true, but his music is by far the most popular.. he has more clout than most rappers combined and his music is not on the "fuck bitches, get money" wave. hell even 21 savage has his odd romantic rap here and there, other popular male artists (like the weeknd) as well. either way whatever is the female version of TRP (but not exactly FDS if that's it... like TRP but just in female version literally) is kinda present in female rap nowadays which is extremely popular and mainstream as well. it's just men and women objectifying each other and sex through music for funsies lmao

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except that he didn't when you watch the whole bodycam, and the transcript the guy was suffering from breathing problems before touching anyone and he was alive as he was loaded into the ambulance that chauvin called for him, and the coroners report says he explicitly died of a heart attack from a fentanyl overdose, and if you consider what a choke is with case analysis, (i.e. it can't be a blood choke because he's conscious for several minutes, and it can't be an air choke, because he can inhale and talk properly for several minutes) You realize that the guy didn't even impact the health problem let alone execute someone. If you want i can find you the transcript link and the coroner's report. i remember reading them as soon as they came out so that i could be informed instead of just blurting convenient shit out. I'd recommend trying that procedure to you as well.

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The Derek Chauvin case is fucked. Our legal system starts to break down when you have a highly publicized and politically charged case like this, because finding a neutral jury, something our entire legal system is based on, is almost impossible in a high profile case like this unless you somehow manage to find twelve people who live under rocks. The Rittenhouse Trial, when it happens, will be likely even more of a nightmare.

This is actually even more difficult due to the increasing polarization of people's views across the political spectrum. Everyone knows who Chauvin is, everyone knows what Chauvin did. The left see him as emblematic of police brutality and systemic racism and are demanding accountability for an unreasonable and excessive exercise of force. Conservatives... are too busy boot licking to articulate a real position, but it essentially boils down to essentialism that "police are always good" and/or ad hominem attacks against a dead man. Either way, finding a jury of people who don't already know how they'd rule is basically impossible.

Anyway, Derek Chauvin should face justice. Floyd's past doesn't come into the equation at all. The police have a monopoly on the legal use of force, this is central to how they function and it comes with a great amount of responsibility. The police are not, and should not be, Judge, Jury (and executioner). When police kill someone, that is an extra judicial killing -some person was put to death without due process of law. The punishment for speeding on the freeway is not and should not be death. We as a people, deserve law enforcement that upholds the criminal justice system, and that includes rights to due process and to be sentenced by a Jury / Judge after such process has been provided. Those who choose to serve as police officers also necessarily choose to accept the increased responsibility that comes from wielding government sanctioned power and authority. If anything, police should be held to a higher standard, than a regular citizen, because a regular citizen is not acting as a representative of the State.

[–]red_red-[score hidden] 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

as someone who rad the coroner's report and listened to the audiofile and the transcripts, Chauvin, from the evidence provided, doesn't seem to have been involved or even contributed to the death. there wasn't excessive force, the fentanyl was a lethal dose, the corner's said he died of a heartattack in the ambulance, and he said he couldn't breath before chauvin touched him. The knee thing itself didn't look like a choke either,it's not a blood choke, because he's conscious, it's not an air choke because he can talk just fine. Even if he had contributed, he followed protocol, tried to bring him into the car, called an ambulance and directed him to the ground.

Everyone knows who Chauvin is, everyone knows what Chauvin did.

Clearly not, you think he choked a guy to death. unless all the evidence in the case is fabricated. If you want i'll scrounge up some links to the coroner's report and the transcripts from the body cam footage.

-edit-

i do want to caution you about this line of thinking. Because it's very much apparent that you're certain of the truth of events, WITHOUT EVER HAVING LOOKED AT THE EVIDENCE OF THE CASE AT ALL. You should be more reserved about the guilt of a defendant if you literally didn't bother to read or research it, and use word of mouth to give you an opinion.

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This is called a False Equivalence fallacy.

This fallacy is committed when one shared trait between two subjects is assumed to show equivalence, especially in order of magnitude, when equivalence is not necessarily the logical result.[2] False equivalence is a common result when an anecdotal similarity is pointed out as equal, but the claim of equivalence does not bear scrutiny because the similarity is based on oversimplification or ignorance of additional factors.

When a trait is shared by a large majority of the population in question, using terms like 'all' or 'most' makes sense. I can say 'all men like sex' and while a few might not, the vast majority do, and within the context of common vernacular this is not an erroneous statement.

On the other hand using 'all' when its a vast minority is an erroneous statement. To say 'all men are violent rapists' or 'all men are murderers' is false. A very few men are.

[–]poppy_blu4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0011 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I did defend my point. I even bolded the relevant portion for you. And then went out and explained it... again. So to repeat:

When a trait is shared by a large majority of the population in question, using terms like 'all' or 'most' makes sense. I can say 'all men like sex' and while a few might not, the vast majority do, and within the context of common vernacular this is not an erroneous statement.

On the other hand using 'all' when its a vast minority is an erroneous statement. To say 'all men are violent rapists' or 'all men are murderers' is false.

Go ahead... read it again. As you'll see saying things like AWALT or AMALT (or NAWALT/NAMALT) in and of itself is neither correct, nor an error, DEPENDING ON THE CONTEXT.

You keep ignoring context and nuance to claim nonsense that was never claimed. 'Men say this', 'TRP says that', expect nothing of the sort was ever said. Time and again you make claims that cannot be substantiated because of this. I just thought... or at least hoped in vain... that by pointing it out you might stop doing it.

TRP and men say more than enough dumb shit to argue with/against. But BPs can't seem to get past their obsession with demonizing men, that they ignore the actual debate/issues that warrant discussion. You don't need to invent shit...

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and then say sexism against men is impossible to exist.

Women hating men doesn't do shit to men. There will be no spike of dead husbands. Men get together online or anywhere really and get their hate going, the news gets filled with mass murder bullshit and spikes in homicides. Literally mining the internet for weak minded men and feeding them woman-hate gets people the soldiers they want, install inept presidents, make the put their lives on the lines as goofball militias.

In comparison, "Men are trash" doesn't impact men in any meaninful way no matter how much they bitch about it. The stats are there and there is no argument.

"Misandry" doesn't mean shit, tbh. Women angry at men never get to the points that angry men do. This is easily observable by lurking spaces dedicated to these topics and comparing them. This is why no one takes the likes of MRA seriously and never should.

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Who says men are at equal risk of sexual assault?

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m29d4n/newest_data_from_who_1_in_3_women_worldwide_are/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Everything I hear is women saying they are terrified to step outside their door because 1 white girl was abducted while ignoring the 40 men are killed every day.

What they’re saying is men have a strength and size advantage, which means women are inherently vulnerable with men. Men here fly off the handle at women for saying this while turning right around and saying the same thing themselves.

So men are rightfully telling women to stop the neurotic fear mongering that there is a rapist around every corner and that you are CONSTANTLY in danger of men when it just isn't even remotely true.

Perhaps they ought to stop trolling us with “you’re only not being raped and murdered because we say so” yeah?

Also, why the fuck are you listening to what retarded incels say?

Cause PPD is the only place I get to talk to you 😍

[–]angels-fan1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]gigababejfl_5 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So men are rightfully telling women to stop the neurotic fear mongering that there is a rapist around every corner and that you are CONSTANTLY in danger of men when it just isn't even remotely true

This is why ya'll get ignored. The manosphere dismiss rape claims, act like sexual assault isn't as common as it is, claims rape accusations are a greater threat, make reporting a nightmare, and don't give a fuck for every new story of a woman dead at the hands of a man let alone all the stuff that doesn't make the news. All of this only ADDS to the suspicion of men. From not only women but for men who care about women.

No one cares when men use tools of language like calling rational caution as neurotic because they aren't doing shit to fight the culture of men who assault anyway. They been calling women crazy this whole time anyway.

The female gender adapts and has to because of the state of the male gender. Want to see less "neurosis"? Stop being so dismissive so women know to take your claims about their safety seriously.

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Depends on the guy about 30% of guys (not the top 20% that gets oft referenced here) will spend their early 20s trying to score with as many women as possible preferably hot ones not caring about long term compatibility/marriage then might try and settle down later in life but the other 70% of guys don't. Most of the time the standards a guy has in his 20s has the same preferences/needs in his 30s and 40s which are looks, youth/fertility, personality, and compatibility the only difference is womens looks and youth/fertility fade so in effect they become pickier due to that becoming less common this is why women who wait till 30+ to get married completely fucked themselves. I do think a lot of men falsely believe every woman can be a wife/mother (likely due to sexism on their part) and don't select for that which can cause issues.

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[–]Matt_Door2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes, I have had to reckon my place in the industry and the impact my work has had on the work force at large. I don’t like having to use off shore vendors, but sometimes it’s a necessity. I try to avoid it as much as I can. I have felt uncomfortable knowing that my work is eliminating decent lower skilled white collar jobs, but at the end of the day I have my own family to look out for, and have to prioritize my and my families needs. This is what I am good at, and I can “pay it forward” in other ways, like knowing my institution,a clients, mostly mom and pop investors just trying to scrape together enough to retire are able to make more or pay less, the work I do supports our shareholders of which the country’s pension plan and many other pension plans are large shareholders of.

Look, end of the day, we innovate and move on. No one is bailing out the VCR or typewriter industries.

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[–]RemindMeBot2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I will be messaging you in 10 years on 2031-03-09 15:19:44 UTC to remind you of this link

CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.

<sup>Info</sup>	<sup>Custom</sup>	<sup>Your Reminders</sup>	<sup>Feedback</sup>

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Since we are dipping our toes in trans issues due to the super straight meme popping up:

Is transphobia really on par with homophobia?

People hate gays even when gay people are minding their own business, not asking for anything other than marriage.

Whereas trans people are asking everyone to police their thoughts, behavior, their language. AND in order to achieve their rights, they want to belong in female only or male only spaces. They want to compete in sports with natal men and woman. Some want to stealth their way into relationships.

So I suppose the 'transphobia' lies in the fact that some people cannot accept trans people completely as man or woman.

This new tactic of empathetic bullying is meeting resistance because some of trans issues go beyond pleasantries of just calling someone the right name. I acknowledge that I don't understand gender dysphoria. I don't even think medically we understand transgenderism and why it happens. The fact that all of this exploded within like the last 5-7 years made me skeptical that it was indeed young queer teens trying to gain more social clout by being part of LGBT community. I don't know if I still believe that.

[–]_mwk7 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

trans ppl need their gender identity validated, they need the world to view them as "cis" to be validated and if that's not possible (they dont pass or identify as "nonbinary"), to never view/treat them as their birth sex. doing the latter is what's often described as "transphobia", it's no longer just being prejudiced against them. most ppl are okay with "live and let live", they will mind their business, let you present as the gender you identify as and maybe call you by your preferred pronouns bc it's the polite thing to do. but once you infringe on their lives, and demand they change their dating habits in ways they dont want nor accept, to accommodate and coddle your feelings while sacrificing their comfort and their feelings, you'll see major push back from both "accepting" ppl and "enemies" and the rise of things like the super straight thing.

it's a lot different from homophobia, gay people dont need the world to validate their sexuality and homophobia isn't defined in the same way.

[–]SmurfESmurferson3 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This is my very pedestrian, not at all expert view, but ...

How much of the push to “normalize” dating trans people comes from trans people themselves? I work with a higher-than-normal number of trans individuals (mainly mtf) because my industry is famously accepting, so I’ve had conversations with a lot of them about their love lives

Most trans women seem very understanding of the fact that straight guys aren’t interested in them, and don’t begrudge them their sexuality. There are a lot of jokes about needing to find a “tranny chaser” or the elusive “pan sexual” person. Jokes about being an otherwise straight guy’s “dirty little secret”

The only thing they seem to want to push for is a lack of violence when it comes out that they’re trans. Almost all of them have horrifying stories

I wonder how much of this push to normalize trans people is coming from the trans people themselves, and not from some other cultural force

[–]_mwk1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

it honestly seems to come from a very small minority of trans people and "super woke" cis social media. the latter is probably the side that's doing the most damage, and is probably the cause of the SS like things. and imho that's probably why there are so many divisions inside the trans community itself, there are very loud minorities that push the divide more.

from what I see, most trans ppl dont want someone who doesn't want them, bc well in all cases there are very real threats and issues of violence against them. but that's where it seems so dissonant to me, bc the denounced transphobia on social media is never about that violence, its always about things like dating and giving new names to genitals. that's where the woke effort is ALWAYS concentrated and again, my opinion from what I see, that's why I think the T community is where you see the most larping for clout, bc at least in those spaces, the real life issues take a backseat in favour of issues like "is it transphobia to not date me???"

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The % of men who haven't had sex in the last year is greater than the % of women and the trend is also increasing faster for men than women. Virtually every dating site that has ever released stats has shown that women swipe on men at a much smaller rate than men swipe on women. This trend is also likely the same with cold approaching at clubs/parties. There have also been studies here showing that attractiveness correlates more with n count for men than for women meaning that your looks have more of an impact on your ability to get casual sex as a man than they do as a woman. That is also something that anecdotally most people seem to agree with. Like does anyone really think the average man has the same options for sex as the average woman?

Even women here seem to aknowledge that they are pickier about casual sex and that obviously they are going to pick the hottest guys because they can. I rarely see women say its not true that they have more options for casual sex or that they have higher standards, the response I see here is "well duh, you'd do the same if you had our options 🤷‍♀️"

I'm not necessarily married to the idea that the ratio is literally 80/20 for men or that every woman has an n count in the 50s. I don't even deny that there probably is a portion of women that have significantly more casual sex than the average woman does but I definitely believe the distribution of casual sex is more evenly spread for women than for men and that the attractiveness of the men the average woman has casual sex with is higher than the attractiveness of the women the average man has casual sex with.

What I think happens is that most promiscuous subset of men are more promiscuous than the most promiscuous subset of women which means the really promiscuous guys are more likely to hookup with average women than the most promiscuous women are to hookup with average men. So when the average man pairs off with an average woman I think he might have an n count of 3-6 while she has an n count of 6-12 where her casual sex partners were likely more attractive than him and more attractive than any of the women he was able to hookup with.

[–]GullibleClassic11 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The % of men who haven't had sex in the last year is greater than the % of women and the trend is also increasing faster for men than women.

Actually if you read one of the websites I linked there is conflicting data on this suppose ‘sexlessness epidemic’ men are experiencing:

However, two other large surveys, the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFfG), and the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES), also ask about sexual behavior. Their results do not confirm the trends seen in the GSS. However, they also have slightly different questions and slightly different survey populations, so they may not be directly comparable.The NSFG, for example, shows a far higher rate of sexlessness to begin with.

The graph above shows that while there’s some reason to think a growing share of never-married young men is going sexless based on GSS data, it could be that the sexless share among these young men is about stable, as the NHANES shows, or even falling, as the NSFG shows.

The incel account of events thus far is maybe true in the GSS, but faced strong rebuttals from the NHANES and NSFG data. Not a glowing endorsement of the incel narrative!

Two other large surveys which track sexual activity show either male sexlessness has been essentially stable since 2000 or has actually declined.

Virtually every dating site that has ever released stats has shown that women swipe on men at a much smaller rate than men swipe on women.

Virtually ever dating site also has a skewed gender ratio, with men greatly outnumbering women and spending more time on dating apps.

Also I found the numbers for hinge, the difference doesn’t seem to be that lope sided as you guys claim, also according to them:

But there is hope for the future. Goldgeier found that with Hinge users under 20 years old, men and women tend to distribute their “likes” more equally.

https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a19530450/dating-app-advice/

These analysis don’t take into account age, we know based on dating statistics men are much more likely to contact someone much younger then them which increases their chances of being rejected since women typically like men their own age not older.

There have also been studies here showing that attractiveness correlates more with n count for men than for women meaning that your looks have more of an impact on your ability to get casual sex as a man than they do as a woman.

I looked at that study, wasn’t the difference between unattractive and attractive men like one partner? Same with unattractive and attractive women.

Like does anyone really think the average man has the same options for sex as the average woman?

None of this has anything to do with what I am talking about. I am not asking about options I am asking do you agree based on the data we have that a small percentage of women have most of the sex like men. Do you agree or disagree with this notion?

If not you need to explain why the analysis by these two sociologists I quoted in my op are wrong and that’s the conclusion they come to based on recent data:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m2e1ts/does_the_8020_rule_apply_to_women_too/

[–]Bandit1742 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The author said: "However, they also have slightly different questions and slightly different survey populations, so they may not be directly comparable"

Also in regards to "it could be that the sexless share among these young men is about stable, as the NHANES shows, or even falling, as the NSFG shows"

they are referring to the trend of whether sexlessness is increasing or decreasing for men but I don't think they are denying that the % of sexless men is greater than women, or are they?

with Hinge users under 20 years old, men and women tend to distribute their “likes” more equally.

But how many people under 20 are even on the site in the first place and how much "more equally" are we talking?

and I guess does that continue as they get older? (I don't expect an answer on that since we can't know yet).

men are much more likely to contact someone much younger then them which increases their chances of being rejected since women typically like men their own age not older.

That's conjecture. They didn't say the men on hinge were aiming for significantly younger. Also I thought the stat was "first like" so why would men supposedly going for younger women affect who women choose to initiate likes on?

Also for over 20 they said "But when a woman initiates, their likes are distributed among a much smaller group of men, probably because women are more choosy—a guy has to be extremely attractive for them to make the first move."

I looked at that study, wasn’t the difference between unattractive and attractive men like one partner?

I thought it was higher than that. I remember on the line chart the incline from average to attractive was higher in men than for women where the line was essentially flat.

None of this has anything to do with what I am talking about. I am not asking about options..

I think it matters. If we accept that the percentage of men that women are attracted to and willing to have casual sex with is smaller than the percentage of women that men are attracted to and willing to have casual sex with it should follow that casual sex will be more evenly spread out among women than men. I don't understand how women can find a much smaller % of men viable for casual sex and for it to also be true that casual sex is equally distributed among men and women.

I am asking do you agree based on the data we have that a small percentage of women have most of the sex like men. Do you agree or disagree with this notion?

I did answer that in my last 2 paragraphs. Basically yes I agreed but with some qualifiers.

[–]GullibleClassic11 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The author said: "However, they also have slightly different questions and slightly different survey populations, so they may not be directly comparable"

Here is an example of the questions both surveys ask.

For NHANES:

The sexual behavior questionnaire in 2015-2016 is similar to cycles 2013-2014, 2011-2012 and 2009-2010. However, analysts should be cautious when combining data with cycles prior to the NHANES 2009-2010 SXQ data, since some questions have been removed or added, and some questions have had slight wording changes. Please see the Analytic Notes below as well as Appendix 1 (for male) and Appendix 2 (for female) for detailed information on variables included in the SXQ section since 2003-2004.

The variable SXD021 (Ever had vaginal, anal, or oral sex) was derived from whether or not the respondent reported having any of the specific types of sex. For example, if a male answered “yes” to having had any of the following types of sex: SXQ800 (Ever had vaginal sex with a woman), SXQ803 (Ever performed oral sex on a woman), SXQ806 (Ever had anal sex with a woman), or SXQ809 (

For NSFG:

The very last time you had any type of sex -- that is vaginal intercourse or anal sex or oral sex -- was that last sexual partner male or female?

https://www.cms.gov/About-CMS/Agency-Information/OMH/resource-center/hcps-and-researchers/data-tools/sgm-clearinghouse/nsfg

they are referring to the trend of whether sexlessness is increasing or decreasing for men but I don't think they are denying that the % of sexless men is greater than women, or are they?

He doesn’t list the numbers that NHANES and NSFG have, so we don’t know, all he notes is two surveys with larger sample sizes then GSS do not show an epidemic of male sexlessness.

But how many people under 20 are even on the site in the first place and how much "more equally" are we talking?

Younger people are more likely to use dating apps so quite a bit a imagine especially in a college town.

That's conjecture. They didn't say the men on hinge were aiming for significantly younger. Also I thought the stat was "first like" so why would men supposedly going for younger women affect who women choose to initiate likes on?

Several other dating sites have shown this trend of men contacting women younger then them. There is this famous okcupid chart which shows men regardless of age listing women in their early 20s as the ideal age while women list men closer to their age range regardless of age. Another study found that women got the most likes and interest on OLD at age 18, their desirability declines significantly afterwards.

But the biggest deal breaker of all turned out to be age, at least for women. All other factors being equal, women overall were 400 times less likely to browse the profile of a man significantly older than herself. But that changed with age. Whereas 20-year-old women were 10 times more likely to ignore a man 10 years her senior, 45-year-old women were nearly 10% more likely to browse the profile of a man 55 or older compared with a man her own age. Perhaps unsurprisingly, men in their 40s tend to be more interested in younger women.

https://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/09/these-are-top-deal-breakers-online-dating-according-sociologists

I thought it was higher than that. I remember on the line chart the incline from average to attractive was higher in men than for women where the line was essentially flat.

I just looked up the study again.

Attractive men had on average one more partner more then unattractive while very attractive had on average three more partners. Both unattractive men and women have same number of partners.

I think it matters. If we accept that the percentage of men that women are attracted to and willing to have casual sex with is smaller than the percentage of women that men are attracted to and willing to have casual sex with it should follow that casual sex will be more evenly spread out among women than men. I don't understand how women can find a much smaller % of men viable for casual sex and for it to also be true that casual sex is equally distributed among men and women.

This is probably where you are mistaken, you think women only have casual sex with a man because he’s hot chad, it’s way more complicated then that. Just look up how much alcohol and drugs influence hookup culture on college campuses.

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the more obvious "Piers is angry that he got used by a c list celebrity".

Used how?? this man wanted to keep the company of a beautiful woman who walks in "looking like a million bucks" and now that she isn't doing that, she is just a c list celebrity thats beneath him and using him? If he got nothing out of it, why engage with her? What has he done for her

I mean Piers is a married man

since when does being married mean anything to men who want to fuck around? Being butthurt for years about being ghosted by "just a c list celebrity" sounds like the justified priorities of a "married man" to you?

Male butthurt continues to show why women move the way they move and so do comments like this that try to absolve the cringe hurt feelinfs of some aged toad who wanted a chance with a stunner like Meghan. Yeah, she pulled a literal prince. Is your argument she should have chosen to stay in touch with the old, married man pouring drinks down her throat in his pub? Yeah, okay.

the media is playing it as him being romantically obsessed with her.

because he is. he is a man with influence using his puplit to continuously bash her for years due to his "rejection". This is what so many men do and this is why they get handled to not set them off.

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I mean this mostly happens with women, not men, but I wouldn't have much of a problem giving a reason why I rejected someone if they asked.

yeah that's what i mean, if someone is really pressing you for the reason you'd probably tell them, but it's weird to just claim a label (even though it's a meme i know, but to the people who are serious about it) like "superstraight" just to make your preferences against trans people known

I mean if they're not preferred then they're just not preferred and thats something that they will have to deal with. They're not entitled to a relationship anymore than anyone else is.

of course but that doesn't mean we should go out of our ways to make them feel undesirable :/ that doesn't make sense to me, trans people just mind their business from what i see

[–]TheBookOfSeil2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

but it's weird to just claim a label (even though it's a meme i know, but to the people who are serious about it) like "superstraight" just to make your preferences against trans people known

Never heard of that before. I don't think its necessary, but it seems like people just want to feel like part of a group identity in these cases. Even if they're not necessary.

of course but that doesn't mean we should go out of our ways to make them feel undesirable :/

I agree but if anyone asks or talks about it, people will likely share their opinion but not advertise out in public that they don't want a partner that is trans, which is understandable if people want to have children one day.

that doesn't make sense to me, trans people just mind their business from what i see

Well some are more vocal than others, just like in any other group. They go out of their way to call others "transphobes" because they're salty that people don't see them as desirable.

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Come on, u/passepar2t, you know the reason women on PPD hammer the male wall home is to counteract the bizarre belief of many TRPers that 40 year old dudes somehow are more in demand to 18 year old virgins than their age match

Truth be told, the wall - for both men and women - is nothing more than aging into the next RMP/SMP. Or, it’s completely letting yourself go (and oh, do I have some IRL examples for anyone who doesn’t believe it exists for men)

The really good news is that if you keep yourself in shape, you’ll have no problem being in the top 20% of the next RMP/SMP. And you’ll attract all sorts of women - some you’ll want to bang, some you won’t

As time goes on, you’ll suddenly find yourself understanding 80/20 from a young woman’s perspective, because you’ll only be attracted to 20% of women in your RMP/SMP. But you’ll be attractive to almost all

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You know, just when I think I've got a reasonable handle on things, a certain amount of confidence, and a conviction for the person I want to be, I find myself unable to sleep at night because a girl at the gym had an amazing ass. Seriously.

I mean, plenty of women at the gym are attractive, but this one just struck me, and I got in my own head, bad. I felt helpless to do anything about it, because I'm just going to be an annoying or creepy dude interrupting some girl's workout at the gym if I say something. But on the other side, I'm so goddamn sick of being inhibited, and have such a strong desire to say 'fuck that' and be free to be myself and pursue what I want, how I want to.

But...there's nothing to be said. I'm almost certain we're not people with anything in common, and every acceptable sequence feels like a lie to me. And from there I start to dwell on past frustrations, thinking about what's-her-name and maddening experiences online dating, until I realize I've been laying in bed fuming for 3 hours. Yeah, I've really got my shit figured out. /s

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So recently, I've been looking for a new place since we may need to move pretty soon, and saw some very..... interesting stuff lately. The highlight was definitely the unit we saw today which had one room with different walls that were different shades of pink, a main area where the main color was bright orange, and another bedroom where the walls were this very.... fake looking deep green color. The design was fucking atrocious. The best part is that the previous tenants (or owners, or whoever, idk) seem to have left a single wall-mounted ring in the green room, which conjured up some fun jokes.

Has been an interesting experience in general though. Since we've been looking mostly at condos that we'd want to rent, there's been so many places where saying the taste of the people who designed it is questionable is quite generous.

I also really find that mid-century units have much more space-efficient layouts with a much better logical flow, even if the design isn't as modern on the interior.

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yes, everyone agrees that the economy is going to be running hot. Bond rates rose recently and we had a market dip from it. inflation for the last 20 years has been high, but it's going to get pretty crazy. I hope you weren't planning on paying debts this year, because they'll get cheaper the longer you wait. Also your savings is gonna sliced unless you put it in a t-bond or some other security.

My recommendation is personally stock, but you're guaranteed safety with bonds, and you're guaranteed safety from inflation with t-bills. That's the point of them. Other people use precious metals or land, but gold and housing already had their spikes lately, and people are projecting house ing to be a dicey investment for at least another 3 years so i've heard on the grapevine (I don't personally trade in real estate)

also, check this:

https://usdebtclock.org/

that's a new record for us debt. we didn't even have this much debt after both world wars. 130% debt to gdp and nobody cares because interest rates are 0. It's fucking bananas.

[–]geyges1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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Because less people actually want to have kids and they have means to prevent it. Kids can be a real pain in one's ass and often pretty literally, so it's not surprising at all that more and more people opt out from it. Plus, parenting is more stressful nowadays as people overall are more neurotic especially when it's about kids.

People will die out if we don't stop producing and consuming so much of unnecessarily and harmful goods, it won't be even the question of population, it will be the problem of clean air, water and tolerable climate.

If we manage to take out environmental problem under control though, I think most countries will become very very children friendly and people will be encouraged to have them, so maybe more of them would actually do it. Artificial wombs could help too, but I doubt that any institutionalized kids raising would be successful.

I see no problems with a change of population. I see no reason to pop out children just for the sake of my race.

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The Amish community/ communities are a relatively small portion of the American population and despite this they have relatively high rates of childhood leukemia relative to the general population. The thought among pediatric oncologists is they have significantly less genetic diversity which leads to a tendency towards higher rates of mutation and a two hit theory where the mutation perpetuates leading to the production of immature blast cells noted in a leukemia diagnosis.

They have higher rates of other diseases that have a genetic basis or primary cause but tend not to seek medical treatment until it is life threatening.

There are higher rates of sexual abuse and physical abuse that tends to come to light when somebody leaves the Amish life.

So yes they will outbreed us but they actually do not live that much longer and they have a lack of genetic diversity that will be their own downfall. It is basically several communities of cousins marrying cousins just further removed.

They basically do not consider themselves Americam

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what do people think of the low birth rates in western countries

Disastrous, not so much in and of itself (North America would be better off with a population on the order of several million) but because of what it represents: healthy people believe in themselves and want children to pass a future to. Low fertility is terrible sign of societal spiritual crisis.

do you think this will eventually mean humans will die out?

No, it means the religious shall inherit the earth:

https://www.amazon.com/Shall-Religious-Inherit-Earth-Twenty-First/dp/1846681448

There's a raft of wildcards, including possibilities of war, plague, economic turmoil, Bill Gates sterilizing everyone with fake vaccines, and other things that nobody can reasonably forecast. Regardless, the organisms with genes for breeding will breed, and the problem will be self-correcting.

slowly become less white

Well, if by "slowly", you mean "very quickly", then yes, you're right! The US is already majority non-white under the age of 5.

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Got around to Infinity War. Honestly kinda kills it for me with Thanos' bullshit "benevolent villain" thing where he literally.just wipes out 50% of population to save everyone from overpopulation.

It reminds me of talking to people here on PPD who argue that overpopulation is a big problem on Earth lol as if the solution is to just destroy (or never create) a portion of people, with almost no systematic intent or process.

The biggest asset humans (and fictional Marvel beings) could ever have to combat problems with overpopulation is , likely, having more productive humans around, so we can solve problems better.

It's taken to a while different extreme in the Marvel movies since there are fantastical spaceships and inhabitable planets on reach, not to mention homie has some glove that he can literally do anything with. Why not just snap you fingers and double the food/resources in the universe? Lmfao.

I much preferred Age of Ultron where at least that villain had a more intriguing motivation. With Thanos' it just feels like a highschool doomsdayer wrote the script.

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Hooked up with my ex again last weekend, the gay BP side of me can't help but keep feeling bad each time. It's now been 1.5 years and we've gona off/on like 6 or 7 times. Probably due to my lack of options combined with her being as into me as it gets.

It sucks because man, the compatibility is pretty great, but I just find myself not attracted depending on how horny I am + how she styles herself on a particular day.

Like over the weekend when we got back from a big ski day with friends I was all about it, "hey wyd Tonite" But yesterday saw her in the hall and I prob couldn't even have gotten it up if we hung out that evening.

Seems worthy of a PPD post if I wasn't too lazy; Being off the chart compatible but not very attracted is quite frustrating. Also, hooking up with women who are in love with you is easy but kinda sad.

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You don’t have to apologize, this isn’t Victim Olympics.

Just realize the fact that your attitude was cavalier about an adult “diddling” a minor so that you could make a handsy adult hitting on an adult women seem worse. That was you, not men.

The women and men who are that woke tend to be consistent about what they think is wrong. They’re condemning male and female perpetrators.

When I see the woke parade condemning cougar portrayals as fervently as they have condemned a freaking cartoon character, I’ll believe it. Until then, not so much.

They’re also pro protecting minors and kids Uber alles.

If you had any familiarity with the family court system, CPS, GALs, etc, you’d know this isn’t true. The “woke” parade operates the largest for profit child trafficking ring the world has ever seen, every day, in every county in America.

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How much do you know? Lol. I can start from the beginning.

Time value of money -- money now is worth more than money later. If i have $100 now i can probably invest it in the SP500 and get an avg 9.8% return (the avg since 1800) pretax and preinflation return. So if someone said theyd give me $100 now or $105 in 1 year I'd say 100 now, because that 100 is going to be worth 100*(1+.0908)1yr = $109.80 in 1 year. And then you can work backwards and say if they give me $100 in 5 years what would it take for me to say no now? And that's $100/(1.098)5 = $66.6

To discount cash flows and find the true net present value of any project, company, investment or whatever you need to get a discount rate. In that example i made it up as the S&P average of 9.8% but often you can do better than that as a firm making things like whatever widgets or whatever. Apple is probably at much higher than that return on their Iphone factories.

This discount rate can be found in a few ways. The CAPM or capital asset pricing model is one and the WACC weighted average cost of capital is another. They have different inputs so if you're given certain things you use one or the other.

The WACC equation is WACC = re(E/V) + [rd (D/V)*(1-tau)] with

Re= % return required on equity/what % shareholders need, rd= % required return on debt/how much it costs to borrow, tau= tax rate, E= total value of the firms equity, D= total value of the firms debt, V=E+D. This is mainly used when deciding how much return a firm needs on a project.

The CAPM equation is

ru = rf- beta*(rm-rf) with ru= discount rate, rf= risk free return on investment (i.e. no risk investments like US Treasury bonds), and rm = the market interest rate. Beta is how much the firm varies with the market i.e. a beta of 0.5 means if the market goes up 10% the firm results will go up 5%.

Beta is very complicated and it's tripping me up because betas change based on the capital structure of a firm.

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[–]ChibsFilipTelfordd1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So this specifically is a subsection of corporate finance, I'm in a quantitative MBA right now and this is one of the core classes. It doesn't really have to do much with investing, more that it's trying to find the discount rate of a project to do NPV analysis for that project.

So example problems are like "Exxon Mobil decides to drill in the Gulf. It costs $10 million to do prospecting and 500 million to set the oil rigs up. Exxon mobil currently has a D/E ratio of 0.3 and has a rebalancing debt policy. Comparable oil stock Betas are (B1, B2, B3 etc) and their D/E ratios are (DE1, DE2, DE3 etc). The drilling will earn $100m per year in Earnings before interest taxes depreciation and amortization, from 2022 to 2042. The oil rigs are depreciated over 20 years using straight line depreciation and have a salvage value in 2042 of 100m. The corporate tax rate is 35%. Should exxon decide to do this project?"

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Nobody gives a shit about anything until you give them a reason to give a shit.

Do I think MRAs can organize, mobilize, and March on Washington the way feminists today can? No. In the future? It’s certainly possible with enough motivation and effort.

Do I think that men need to begin talking about their experiences, frustrations, and desires? An-so-fucking-lutely. We now work alongside a fully integrated yet entirely differently motivated population of voters - women. While we can certainly say that this world was built by men for the benefit of women, we cannot assume that women will desire it to continue this way in the future.

Just look at the default subs on Reddit and how the culture has changed in the last 2 months - the shit we talk about in PPD could never be discussed on r/askmen or r/askwomen, r/dating, r/sex, etc. this IS progress.

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Has this whole chad obsession confirmed that men, just like women, can get unreasonably jealous and hateful towards attractive members of their gender?

For example, a poster here advocated murdering chads and attractive men.

As bad as rep women get on being jealous of prettier women don’t think I’ve ever seen a comment where one advocated they starting murdering them even in a joking manner.

Other examples include the constant whining about the ‘halo effect’ that attractive men have, and how unfair it is, but at the same time doing reverse halo effect by trying to claim all attractive men are bad human beings by virtue of their attractiveness. While unattractive men are good human beings just because they are unattractive.

This is no different when girls claim all attractive women are bitches and all homely girls are good people.

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men, just like women, can get unreasonably jealous and hateful towards attractive members of their gender?

Of course, it's called the Gamma Male: men who think they should be on top of the hierarchy, because irrational reasons, but don't have it in them and aren't actually attractive. This mismatch drives them mad with hateful envy.

If you ever find that women are complaining about a man being "creepy", it's more likely that he's a Gamma than an Omega (who are just ignored). By contrast, other men normally want to beat the shit out of the Gamma, perhaps without even understanding why.

Gammas compose between 5-10% of the male population, and the archetype can be found sprinkled throughout history and literature. E.g., see here:

https://mobile.twitter.com/YOJIMBO_KING/status/1274466854371840000/photo/1

I am not an Elliot expert, but I believe that Elliott Rodger had many Gamma tendencies, and was more likely a Gamma than an Omega.

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You just mocked German language and now cry about countries losing their identity

Das ist cool! I was just being honest. The amount of English words now in German is crazy. The accents are softer, old words not being used. Scots is the same. It used to be so distinct. More distinct the Platteduestch.

. If culture and identity keeps around is up to the people and how they raise their children, if they don't want to make it part of their life, that's their decision.

It's not their decision though. The megacorportation want to do away with ethnicity and culture, do away with gender. It's pretty much a dystopia. They shove diversity in our faces. You are a Capitalist foot soldier.

As long as we'll dance on ceilidhs they will persist, so go dance after lockdown. You could use some fun.

There are no ceilidhs. Scots and Gaelic are only spoken by the elderly, whole swathes of Glasgow and Edinburgh have no Scots now, there are few indigenous children being born. Face it, our culture is dead.

At least you can get an abortion! The chances of you actually living a normal life or being a wife and mother are vanishingly small.

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Just watched a podcast called Call her Daddy aka sluts being sluts. I’m not against sluts btw their great. Anyway it’s two girls taking about their past sluttyness in NYC. The entire podcast is filled with TRP truths.

Slut 1 and Slut 2 match with the same guy and talk about preselection
Slut 1 and 2 find out they dated the same guy and both were talking about how “he was the perfect boyfriend” but there was no “spark” lol
Slut 1 and 2 talk about how their experiences dating the bad boy was like and how addicted they were to him but how bad it got at the end.
Slut 2 talks about how she was in her first LTR with the perfect guy but then covertly implies she cheated on him or left him for the bad boy lol
They talk about banging only after the third date only for potential LTR guys
Talk about the slut double standard and how they wished being whores wasn’t looked down upon lol.
Talk about how they go go broke guys aka alphas after LTRs with beta type men.
Slut 2 says that the only man she ever loved and had real passionate loving sex with was also the first guy she dated and she was not able to find that again so far LMAO.
Talk about how much they like rough dirty sex and don’t like it when men make “love” to them too soon.

Can’t make this stuff up lol the entire podcast was red pill after red pill. Both are like 27 too and I really feel bad with whoever marries them since their hot there definitely getting married.

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Nah even in anonymous surveys most woman lie woman. Studies have been done.

are you sure it's most women and not just some

Men should lol that’s the thing woman seem to disagree if it doesn’t fit there narrative and makes them feel bad. Obviously a woman who is promiscuous is going to deny the studies showing that promiscuous woman are more likely to cheat.

no they shouldn't, women are obviously going to lie and some will probably feel uncomfortable or stop talking to you at that question b/c no one cares

it doesn't make me feel bad b/c i don't have anything to worry about there and yet i can still say that it makes no sense to ask. if you want to just fuck her and keep it at that, do that (preferably honestly).

also promiscuous men are just as likely to cheat. so it doesn't matter. i don't know if enough women know that but they usually learn after a bad experience or two if anything, luckily men are a lot more honest w/ that so low n-count women know who to avoid lmao

edit: oops forgot to put quotes

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This issue has been the most stupid media nonsense that I've encountered, since at least yesterday.

What happened to the woman in question was tragic, and I feel very sorry for her family. But what were people saying yesterday? We need to make women 'feel safe'. Here's an article to that effect.

We can't make women 'feel safe', and indeed women shouldn't 'feel safe', because they're not safe. It's not safe for me wandering around some parts of London on my own at night. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't live in London. You cannot guarantee your safety there. There is no way. Absolutely women should not feel safe, and they should take precautions to protect their safety, not ask men who aren't a threat to them to help them 'feel safe'.

The last paragraph from that article is a stonker.

What’s missing from discussions about women’s fears is a focus on men.

No, it isn't. The sole focus of this discussion has been men.

Men’s harassment and assault of women is part of a sustained, long-term attempt to roll back advances in women’s rights and restrict our presence in public spaces.

No, it isn't. This is just total nonsense. There is no sustained campaign to achieve anything. This was one nutter acting like a complete twat. It has nothing to do with men wanting to trample on women's rights. This is utterly baseless.

Some well-intentioned individual men ask how they can change their behaviours to make us feel calmer and safer, and are advised to cross the road to ensure they do not walk behind us at night.

Personally, I would try not to alarm anyone, male or female, but it's not me that you need to worry about. I won't hurt you. Men that will hurt you won't care about you 'feeling safe', and even if you did 'feel safe' that wouldn't help!

But we need solutions that rise above individual behaviour, and tackle men’s abuse and intimidation of women as a systemic problem.

No, we don't. Because the vast majority of men would not randomly attack someone. And the only men who will take this issue seriously are men who already pose no threat to women. Men who do pose a threat to women will not take it seriously, because they're not rational in the first place!

Do you seriously think this attack would have been prevented if the media had somehow appealed to his better nature, or attempted to shame him beforehand? He didn't think he was going to get caught; hence, no shame! And I would guess that a person who randomly kills someone for absolutely no reason is not thinking that rationally, and not particularly likely to be won over by rational argument.

Rachel Hewitt actually gets paid to write this. Honestly, I've never heard such a load of crap, probably since this time last week.

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That article gave me a brain tumour.

I think a large problem that is going unnoticed is that we're letting stupid people who have zero fucking clue what human rights are, demand ridiculous, impossible privileges, under the guise of them being rights. I'm seeing this with the socialist left too, saying that food and houses are human rights.

Nobody, women included, have a "right" to feel safe. People could be as accomodating as possible and walk on eggshells 24/7 and a lot of morons would still feel unsafe.

Human rights are inalienable. They can't be "given" to someone, they can only be taken away. This is why speech is a right and food isn't.

You can't be made to feel safe, because feeling safe or unsafe isn't based on rationality. I bet more people feel less safe around sharks than cars, yet more people are killed in car accidents weekly than are killed by sharks in a decade.

[–]wub12342 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I always have my doubts when there is a media talking point, particularly when that media talking point is repeated over and over again.

Often this is designed to frame the discussion, so that the government can then offer the solution to the problem.

But the whole concept of 'feeling safe' is indicative of how irrational discourse has become. Feeling safe isn't useful, in fact it would be better for women if they didn't feel safe. Because then they might take precautions. Would it have helped Sarah Everard if she had felt safe? No, it wouldn't. In fact, she probably did feel safe! Which provided her with no ultimate protection from being killed!

Unfortunately, if you cram 7 million people into a space that is ill-designed to house them, and have massive wealth disparity within that locale, you are going to encounter a few problems! Especially as virtually no-one can afford to live in London. Ask any criminologist. It's entirely unsurprising.

No-one should 'feel safe' in that environment, because your safety is an illusion. You are never going to be 100% safe - of course, you're never 100% safe anywhere - and you should prepare yourself for this.

The response to this tragic event has been nothing short of moronic, and also, ironically, completely counter-productive. If all women felt safe all of the time, ironically they would be less safe, and more likely to be abducted and killed.

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Having sympathy for incels should be in line with every other marginalized group.

Lol please. I'll care about this when those who have been waiting in line, like minority women, get "sympathy". And real sympathy, not this charade leftists have been leading using us as mascots for their own ends.

Imagine extending mindshare to men who write things like "roasties, btfo", "I'm glad this dirty whore got her brains bashed in", "noodlewhore gets mocked during stream"

fuck this attitude that people, especially women, need to extend an ounce of sympathy to men who exude next level hatred. Stop asking for sainthood and expecting people to put themselves last over dry dicks. Thats not a thing. That will never be a thing.

I feel bad for lonely men all the time. The minute I see one as a threat, I'm glad their life sucks. You don't get humanity while refusing to extend any.

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Incels aren’t hampered in getting laid by lack of access to good schools and jobs and a system that preys on them because they have no political and social power.

Men are hampered by genetics in dating which is worse.

Ironically incels tend to be white guys and Asian guys living in the west who are highly educated and high earners. They have no barriers in life other than their own attitudes and behaviors.

This actually goes against your point. Women aren't the only judge of "attitudes and behaviors". The work life e.g. managers, interviews, career also are judges and better judges at that.

If men are productive members of society and have the communication skills and behavioral traits to hold down high earning corporate jobs but still can't get laid, then it must be difficult to get laid.

And since you brought race up yourself:

Black men have an advantage in the dating markets. Black men who aren't violent felons, i.e. most black men on online platforms like Reddit, have a huge advantage in the dating markets because the other violent black men commit crimes and get themselves locked up. Black women strongly prefer black men, so the shortage of decent black men almost guarantees that every black incel will have some black woman who is interested.

If you're not black, being highly educated with high income isn't that much of an advantage. But since there is a shortage of educated black men compared to black women, black men who are even just college educated in a low tier college with a joke degree gets lauded and has tons of black female suitors.

[–]poppy_blu2 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Men are hampered by genetics in dating which is worse.

Plenty of below average men are doing fine. Because they aren’t sitting around whining about being denied their entitlement to hot women just for being men (gee i wonder where that sentiment comes from 🤔)

This actually goes against your point. Women aren't the only judge of "attitudes and behaviors". The work life e.g. managers, interviews, career also are judges and better judges at that.

Yep. So if you do what you need to get and hold a job you shouldn’t be complaining about doing what you need to get women. No ones going to hand you the things you want in life with no effort. You’re not a child.

If men are productive members of society and have the communication skills and behavioral traits to hold down high earning corporate jobs but still can't get laid, then it must be difficult to get laid.

It’s always going to impossible if you never try. Whining is not trying.

And since you brought race up yourself: Black men have an advantage in the dating markets. Black men who aren't violent felons, i.e. most black men on online platforms like Reddit, have a huge advantage in the dating markets because the other violent black men commit crimes and get themselves locked up. Black women strongly prefer black men, so the shortage of decent black men almost guarantees that every black incel will have some black woman who is interested. If you're not black, being highly educated with high income isn't that much of an advantage. But since there is a shortage of educated black men compared to black women, black men who are even just college educated in a low tier college with a joke degree gets lauded and has tons of black female suitors.

You’re asian correct?

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The mods of various subs have historically controlled the content of the sub via banning and removing posts. Since the election ended, mods have either new rules or have backed off all the censorship.

At the same time, I noticed that most of the outrage typically espoused in feminist circles started being produced in r/subredditdrama

Since they can’t control the discourse, they will create their own echo chambers to try and build consensus. It’s also a handy tool to help frame whatever controversial threads come up how they want. None of these ever feel like they offer a balanced view of men AND women.

This was the most recent post, but I assure you that I’m seeing posts like this and faaaar worse almost daily now.

It’s about a woman who was allegedly murdered in the UK - but the conversation spiraled out of control when police recommended that people stay inside until the investigation was complete - cue many women lamenting the old frustration about safety vs freedom in the modern day and cue frustrations that despite having a near monopoly on the discourse on Reddit for well over a decade, they really don’t like the idea of men venting their frustrations too.

https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/m3eff6/after_the_tragic_murder_of_a_woman_ruk_is_in/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

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You realize whether they're bodybuilders or actor — they don't have that body you see in pictures or shows like 360 days out of the year? There's a very specific protocol you have to follow (almost always including a deliberate bit of dehydration) and perfect lighting to accomplish that look for that very specific day.

Women aren't even close to being underweight outside an incredibly marginal percentage of the female population. BMI is a pretty poor metric beyond basic screening, because it doesn't account for fat free mass. So essentially, you actually have a fair proportion of women who would qualify as being categorized as overweight if FFM was accounted for, but it's not. So yeah, women, generally speaking, should be on the lower end of the normal range for optimal health (men who don't train should be too).

The average 5'4" woman should probably be about 120 pounds assuming she's not actively engaging in resistance training (and the vast majority of women in the gym are not doing nearly enough volume to prompt significant hypertrophy either).

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This thread was made because someone proposed a male only curfew in the UK (?)

https://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/comments/m3cbve/i_a_physically_fit_and_situationally_aware_male/

Giant hamster plant right here. Reddit trying his hardest to make it seems like 99% people who get attacked at night are women but when it happen to men they did something to deserve it.

EDIT:

When men get attacked in the street no one asks what they were wearing, were they drunk, did they have their safety whistle on? Is the man of questionable reputation, did they actually ask for it or enjoy it? Was it provoked?

As a woman I’m not just scared of the attack, I’m scared I won’t be believed that it wasn’t my fault or it even happened in the first place.

The bolded right here made me laugh . Do redditor even go out at all ? There is no way this girl is older than 13.

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to bury the disaster of his pandemic response.

Cuomo is the one who tried to coverup his failures in the pandemic response, and that coverup is why he’s in hot water now. The women piling on him now and complaining about his behavior aren’t loyalists trying to help him. They’re just joining the pile-on by adding in their gripes.

I seriously cannot get past the NYT

The NYT editorial board is often ridiculous. If you cannot get past the fact that they are hypersensitive to certain topics on this one issue, you could stop crying about it and just switch to the WSJ or something so you could hear more about how unfair it is for rich people to have to pay taxes or whatever.

If you don't like heels either

Are you talking to me? I know you’re angry and want to yell at someone about your obsession with women who don’t want to be told to wear heels, but I’m not these womenI’m not in a field or office that requires heels. Which, fortunately! I’d rather not be judged professionally in a supposedly professional environment based on whether I’m wearing exactly the right painful shoes, or whether my eyebrows are properly filled-in and on trend. Besides, I’m already tall enough— heels are overkill.

I’ll offer you your own advice: if reading the NYTimes gets you so riled up you can’t handle it, grow a spine and do something about it, or shut up. You don’t have to read stiff that make you this mad.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Eh, it’s the Democrat’s turning on Cuomo right now. And yes, for nuts and flakes, Trump is responsible for everything and anyone with a “D” on the ballot is an angel... but that’s not how most humans view things. The Times editorial board isn’t the god-emperor of all Democratic thought.

And besides, you’re forgetting that Democrats are always eager to eat their own. Cuomo isn’t some untouchable idol— there’s been increasing criticism from his own party (Cuomo’s corruption was already an issue some Dems were attacking him about during the last election).

And he was the actual governor: “the buck stops here” means he’s the one rightfully being investigated and targeted.

They will bury anything to preserve that illusion.

Trump was actually really bad: that’s no illusion. But if you want to paint every democrat with this brain-dead brush, you’re being as ridiculously black and white about things as the NYTimes bozos you’re criticizing.

Again... the NYTimes editorial board does not control the minds of all democrats. You really should take a break from reading this newspaper if you’re forming deep conspiracy theories based on reading an article discussing women annoyed that Cuomo told them to wear skirts, heels, and makeup.

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[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Ridiculous.So now you’re a bad democrat unless you ignore any and all possible complaints of sexual harassment? What a shift in the goalposts: you were originally talking about high heeled shoes, but now according to you, any allegation that isn’t about covid nursing home deaths is part of some kind of organized coverup scheme. I don’t buy your Occam’s razor defying narrative: it’s just way way way more likely that Cuomo is a douchebag than that he’s a sexual saint and all democrats are part of some massive conspiracy to cover up his coverup by asking former aides to lie about him.

But to satisfy your ridiculous request, the coverup is not even remotely an “afterthought”— it was the big early allegation addressed by the democratic establishment (http://www.wsj.com/amp/articles/gov-andrew-cuomo-scandals-a-timeline-of-the-allegations-and-investigations-11615594161). The first allegation on the timeline was a single twitter accusation, while the second allegation was of the covid death coverup, made by Letitia James, the New York attorney general answer a democrat.

So there’s your democrat not giving lip service.

FYI, It is actually a coincidence this article was from the wsj: I just googled Cuomo accusation timeline and clicked a high ranked article from a reputable outlet. Nothing to do with my earlier mention of them.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Oh go gaslight someone else. The calls to resign all revolve around the massively overplayed sexual "misconduct" allegations reported by NYT and have nothing to do with the nursing homes.

https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisondurkee/2021/03/12/aoc-nadler-and-ny-house-democrats-call-for-cuomo-to-resign/

And FYI Cuomo bounced known Covid-infected patients from hospitals and sent them to nursing homes instead. This was known way back last spring/summer. Maybe you should ponder why his admin was fucking with the nursing home numbers.

And yeah, I've read three tales of misconduct. The first was a rape survivor who got triggered and was moved away by HR. Then there was him asking yo kiss a woman at a wedding, she declined and he didn't. And now apparently it's about high heels. And rather than some smoking gun of anything he actually did it's just that there are just so many meritless distractions.

[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Facts are not gaslighting. Gaslighting is manipulating someone into doubting their sanity through subtle means. It does not mean citing sources to back up their claims nor does it mean disagreeing with you.

And FYI Cuomo bounced known Covid-infected patients from hospitals and sent them to nursing homes instead. This was known way back last spring/summer.

Yes, it was known, but not the extent of the damage, and Cuomo tried to cover it up.

Maybe you should ponder why his admin was fucking with the nursing home numbers.

I’m sure you’ve got some bizarre extra notion, but conspiracy theories are dumb. It’s obvious the “why” is just that a bunch of dead people looks bad and makes him look both incompetent and cruel, and he doesn’t want to take responsibility. The additional allegations of sexual harassment do not make him look any better.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Facts like the timeline of when the nursing home info came to light, and who pushed it (a Democrat, which is what you asked for, mr goalpost shifter).

You can’t just claim vague stuff like “the sexual harassment claims are all just a ruse to distract from something mysterious” and expect me to fall for it. It’s simply much more realistic that people are pissed off at one thing and started calling him out for other shit once he was no longer he Democrat darling. That’s not a coverup, that’s a natural response from people seeing his political support weakening.

You asked for a Democrat, and I supplied you a Democrat drawing attention to his nursing home shit. It was the first big outrage and was all over the news. It was already a big hoopla before any sexual harassment was the focus in the media.

Literally all the democrats calling for his resignation are citing these "harassment" things.

Because both scandals are part of the motivation for asking him to resign, and because both scandals are known right now. Neither is being neglected.

http://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/17/nyregion/cuomo-nursing-homes-deaths.amp.html

It’s an article about democrats moving to strip Cuomo of pandemic powers. A bunch of Democrats critical of Cuomo.

I’m sure this article isn’t good enough because it’s not about him being asked to resign (it’s from the end of Feb rather than today), but the calls for resignation escalated over time as more shit started hitting the fan.

And I don’t really care about continuing this conversation enough to look harder. I just pulled whatever showed up early in the google.

[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You are really invested in your silly claim that the calls for resignation aren't being sold as about the "harassment".

The link I posted is all about the calls for resignation. You have not given even one single democrat who called for his resignation citing the nursing homes as the primary reason. The calls are all formulaic: strong concerns about the "harassment" allegations and then maybe some perfunctory lipservice acknowledgement about the nursing homes.

And no, finding a democrat "breaking" a story in December (after Biden's election was certified) that had been well circulated in the republican side of the press last June isn't evidence it's not a democrat house cleaning. For christ sake you even wrote a whole paragraph in there describing it as a perfunctory housecleaning on trumped up charges.

So again show me democrats actually calling for his resignation but who do not cite the harassment. Your insistence the party is spearheading the cleaning with the nursing homes is completely detached from reality.

And yes, I will continue to find the bullshit harassment spin stories to be hilarious and worthy of mockery until one of actual substance appears. But they've trotted out three ridiculous stories so far which is apparently substance enough to call for resignation. I'm not expecting much.

[–]badgersonice1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

So again show me democrats actually calling for his resignation but who do not cite the harassment.

I’m not interested in scouring the articles for this, because again, it is a ridiculous requirement: you think they should call for his resignation... but only while openly ignoring an additional, currently unfolding scandal?? That’s bizarre. You don’t oust someone while saying log, harassment claims... pfft, who cares! Harassment is all just a dumb lie!” What a stupid move for any politician! Of course you’re not going to find that— but it’s stupid to think that’s evidence of “something deeper”.

My belief is that they’re now calling for resignation in the light of TWO scandals popping up, where the first alone was only enough for significant censure. I don’t know why you think this is evidence of some kind of “spin” that they want him out more when there’s more evidence of shitty behavior, but ok, you can believe there’s a conspiracy if you want. I’m not interested in hunting for exactly your narrow weird requirements for disproving... honestly, I don’t even know what your point is other than that you think sexual harassment is a joke and women are greasy and disgusting if they don’t wear high heels to the office.

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[–]wekacuck1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I'd love to watch that episode of Perry Mason.

Mason: The defense calls the first witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 1: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: The defense calls the next witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 2: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: The defense calls the next witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 3: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: The defense calls the next witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 4: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: The defense calls the next witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 5: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: The defense calls the next witness.

Mason: Is this you in this pornographic image?

Girl 6: Nah. It's not me.

Mason: Members of the Jury. These girl's denials that they are the girls depicted in these pornographic images clearly establishes beyond any reasonable doubt that these images are in fact NOT child porn.

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[–]YoMamas_azzTheoretically0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

Another successful salt. This was one of those times where I have to take a step back and laugh at the people who think any incel can go out and salt women.

She was really nervous. Many times when I salt a girl, we are having sex within about a minute or two after they enter the room. The previous longest time it took was about 15 minutes, and it was me passing hardcore shit tests. This time it took over 30 minutes. Most of it was getting her comfortable and soothing her nerves.

I sat down next to her on the couch and we would have small talk for a few minutes. Then id hold her hand, or kiss her or whisper something sexy in her ear. This happened about 5 or so times before she was ready to lay down on the bed. Took her another 10 minutes before she was warmed up enough for sex.

A good tip from Alpha Male Strategies ive found to be true and true again, talking to women is like talking to the cops. You have to be very cautious about not giving them too much information, and for salting this is amplified 100 fold. Any misstep could completely blow my cover. Luckily it hasnt happened yet.

Anyways, heres a line ive used successfully so far that worked really well to lighten the mood you guys can steal if you want.

The conversation tends to always end up getting around to covid eventually. In the last instance, the woman was talking about how she might have had covid before and didn't know. I told her she probably didn't, because "One of the side effects of covid can be losing your taste, and I can see you havent, being that youre here with me now".

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My income was more than enough to support the 3 of us so I was comfortable letting her stay home, work on her hobbies and volunteering.

He's allowed her to stay at home and paid for her and someone else's child for 8 years. She's been a leech for 8 years. He's a chump, but because he's a chump she has no right to complain. He has been giving her an amazing deal for a long time

I think it was smart to get some advice from a lawyer. Im confused, have you spoken to her about how shes feeling? Why she needs an open relationship? It sounds like shes just been sitting around waiting for you to give a fuck. She might not even really want an open relationship she may have just said it for attention because she couldnt figure out how to get it.

lol who says they want an open relationship just for attention. oh wait crazy women would. Good enough reason to break up either way

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What are you trying to correlate here though?

You need to get a Dr. who listens instead of fooling around with some fucking smart watch. Has she been referred to a Cardiologist? If not why? What is their reason? Does she see any other specialists? Has she raised this issue with them?

Has she had any other work up besides an EKG? Does she have other symptoms besides palpations? Do they happen at a particular time of day? Do they connect to any activity? Has she added or subtracted any medications lately?

Does she have a history of anxiety? Does she have any hormonal fluctuations? Does she have any other disease or condition that could cause heart palpations? Has she had a full history and physical recently? Why not? Has her stress increased?

Were you aware when women had cardiac problems they tend to show up differently than in men. I have no idea if she does have one because I am not psychic and one or both of you are total wieners about basic communication with MDs.

Why are you being passive aggressive about her health? Either you think she might have a problem and one or both of you is too lazy to advocate. Or you are blowing her off and buying some stupid smart watch.

You need need to give them specific information and a smart watch is not really going to record data other than the HR.

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An important caveat I have to point out is that I'm saying the following as if the man on the right were attractive. He's more masculine, yes, but something men never really seem to get is that more masculine doesn't always correlate with attractiveness - and I'm someone that prefers masculine men more often than not.

Anyway. When women say that it's impossible to tell good guys from bad, they're saying the guy on the left would definitely, easily break your heart and say some vile shit on top of that. (I've reminded myself of this meme.) That it's drawn out over a number of months rather than weeks or days does not make the outcome any different.

Men ultimately have this "I'm not like other guys" complex about themselves when they feel like they're not popular with women, but it becomes very quickly apparent that the choice most women have is between crying over Jason Momoa, or crying over John Mulaney.

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Something about you makes me think you’re not really a Chad..

I think it comes from being starved of love. I’m not used to being hugged or loved in anyway, so I just feel very weird if someone smiles at me or compliments me because I’m not used to it. I guess you might call it touch aversion too. I’ve never felt like I had any one who truly loves me or at least shows it, including my family.

So something about that I guess makes me full of love to give somehow? I’m the opposite of burned out from relationships, just for years of it saved up ready to drop on someone. I’d probably have to hold back if I met someone so as not to scare them off. Because I’ve been so much I feel sensitive to anyone around me feeling the slightest pain, and want to make their day better.

Like all I really want to do is hug or cuddle or look into someone’s eyes. Just share those small intimate moments. Or have an actual romance like in the movies. You’ll find a lot of similar emotions on IWH despite common belief.

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I feel like I’m too immature. I don’t think its age either because other people my age are way ahead of me and they have serious relationships going. I’ve never had a relationship that even lasted a year or gotten past the casual stage

Everyone goes through life at their own pace. I wouldn't really sweat it. Idk how old you are but depending on your age, I can't imagine your situation is particularly abnormal. I'm in kinda the opposite situation in that I started dating my partner when I was 19 and we've been together for what will be 7 years this year (note, not married yet, but planning on it). I imagine telling 19 year old me that this woman would be my future wife and..... I'm not sure what I would have thought back then. But again, everyone goes at their own pace and has their own journey.

And I feel like it’s mostly my fault. I think it’s mostly my immaturity but Idk if it’ll ever change for me. I am who I am you feel me?

Sure, but if you are unhappy with how you are or who you are, you are empowered to make changes conducive to your goals.

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I’m 21. Most people my age have had atleast 1 serious relationship before and experienced young love.

I wouldn’t say I’m an extreme outlier or anything, but if I had to guess I’m probably bottom 10% for relationship maturity among ppl my age who date (not counting incels cuz they dont date)

I’m mostly concerned if I’ll ever be able to love someone. Like actually love someone not just having sex with them and hanging out with them.

And trust me I try to change. I’m seeing a girl rn and I was being a goof ass like usual, so I tried to be more reliable/more mature/less flakey but as always I regressed. We arent dating seriously so the stakes aren’t that high, but I’m guessing this love stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not much of a romantic or a giver, I’m just a taker

[–]WestsideMoonWalker4 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’m 21. Most people my age have had atleast 1 serious relationship before and experienced young love.

Man, you got an eternity really. Even if you haven't had any super serious relationships to this point, you still have the time to learn and grow as a person before that.

I wouldn’t say I’m an extreme outlier or anything, but if I had to guess I’m probably bottom 10% for relationship maturity among ppl my age who date (not counting incels cuz they dont date)

Doubt it as long as you have had a few short term relationships. You are vastly overestimating how much other people are dating. Plus you had a year of your development zapped by covid.

I’m mostly concerned if I’ll ever be able to love someone. Like actually love someone not just having sex with them and hanging out with them.

This requires you to define what love is, right? If you want to make a real human connection with someone, something stronger than just lust, you need to know what to look for based on your preferences, lifestyle, and how they intertwine.

And trust me I try to change. I’m seeing a girl rn and I was being a goof ass like usual, so I tried to be more reliable/more mature/less flakey but as always I regressed. We arent dating seriously so the stakes aren’t that high, but I’m guessing this love stuff doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m not much of a romantic or a giver, I’m just a taker

That's an important reflection to have, but I will say that you can have a serious relationship with someone and still be goofy, and silly. I don't think that maturity really is tied to that in any real way, at least as I define it. I don't think love is necessarily natural to anyone at first, but.... when you know, you know. If someone blows you away, if you think they are incredible, or impressive, or whatever, trust that feeling. If you don't trust your own emotions, feelings, and the ability to process them, you won't be able to open yourself up to the possibility of that deep human connection.

Love can take various forms as well, and that's a dynamic that you will need to explore with every prospective partner you meet. Something that my girlfriend said that really resonated with me, way back, was that she always felt like she could be her unfiltered self with me and placed that level of trust in me. That's one dynamic that a long-term couple could have. There's others as well (e.g. one partner trusts the other implicitly, or both partners just seem to be like, mirrors of each other) though, so don't fixate on this, since it's just my own anecdote.

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A chef I follow on Twitter posted a pic of a receipt for a meal for 2 that cost $178.07 before tip (so, about $210 after tip) - is that too much for a first date?

Looking at the receipt, they ordered two different types of wine by the glass (at least one person, if not both, got a second glass), appetizers, one very expensive entree (lamb?? On a first date??) and a side to share

I think my answer hinges on who ordered the $50 entree - if it was whomever was paying (presumably him), then fine. Fair game, they’re flexing but they knew what they were doing. But if it was the other person, oof. Party foul, friend - if someone is being nice enough to take you out, you order one of the less expensive entrees, and suggest splitting an app

$178 is high, but when you add in apps, wine, and a split side ... It’s now on the high side of reasonable

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Being a holistic thinker. Being unafraid to early adopt into “cutting edge” industries. Being a quick learner and hella good at “fake it to you make it” or “subject matter expertise.” Being a natural people person and optimistic person so turning my worst moments into “monkey branch” opportunities and thinking creatively (one year I was unexpectedly laid off, co-founded a ~~SASS~~ SaaS platform, heavy partying and schmoozing, was an uber driver, and gigging as a consultant for all types of nonsense). Having parents who were upwardly mobile-minded teachers and who understood exposure and access were key. Choosing college strategically.

My parents couldn’t help with money but I always knew if everything failed I could move back in with them. So it’s somewhat of a “at least I won’t be out on the street if everything crashes and burns” safety net.

Can’t say it’s “luck.”

But it’s definitely some combo of personality/worldview + natural acuity/competency + instilled childhood values (grit, tenacity, serenity, etc) + access/exposure/economic privilege afforded to you, particularly in your formative years.

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Relationships are a part of life. Those who opt out of that need to focus on careers that are solely merit-based. But that doesn’t exist.

The difference here is that some people succeed by their own socialization and being lucky, while others have to "fake it til they make it" and take a more utilitarian approach to their relationships, which can come off as fake and/or having ulterior motives.

If two team members have the same exact performance metrics, the hiring committee is going to default to relational perception/values to make their determination on who’s promoted.

When are people going to have the same exact performance metrics though? There will either be minute differences that make or break someone, or whoever has sucked up enough to management that will decide who gets the promotion.

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Hm. I don’t think being socially astute means you’re trying to climb the social ladder. It’s more ppl like me enjoy connecting to and relating to people.

There are three types of people that usually fall into this category: the "social butterfly" types, the fearful types, and the socio/psychopaths. I think they're all connected in some ways but I won't get into that here.

Doing so, and doing so sincerely, tends to lead to access to many circles. It’s a consequence. Not really intentional.

Some people are sincere, and some people are good at appearing sincere.

Also really isn’t about living lavishly. I grew up with financial woes in the family. So my trauma response is “must be financially comfortable because at any moment stress is on the horizon‼️

Yes, I think that's where the underlying drive that you're talking about comes from. We all have a fear of dying/not surviving so we do what we can to mitigate those things, and the pursuit of wealth and comfort is connected to that. Its totally normal.

Curious as to why you asked the question if you have no interest in making that type of income? My answers were angled toward your question.

I have an interest in making enough income to live the way I want, but my ideas are a little bit different, in my opinion. I have ideas for a dome home that floats and is maybe gyroscopic on the inside, or maybe a house built strategically into the side of a certain mountain. Need money to do that, of course.

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People who make a decent amount of money (+$80k/year), how did you make it into your job?

I'm British not American, so the monetary figure doesn't equate directly, but I made about £70-75K in my best year. The way I did that was to quit my job and try to be a freelance writer. I didn't know if I would make a penny, but I made more money in my first year than in any job I'd ever had (I never had a well-paid job), and there was no looking back after that. I worked my bollocks off for the first three years, literally 365 days per year, until I'd established myself.

I don't try to make that sort of money any more because it was fucking knackering! I take it a bit easier now, I've been concentrating on ghostwriting books over the last few years, and I would like to be semi-retired in a few years. I will still write books, but I don't want to feel any pressure to make money, I want to have a basic lifestyle secured, and then take on a few interesting projects every year so that I've got some disposable income.

Once you've got a house, you live in a pleasant part of the world, you're doing what you want with your life, and you have lots of freedom and liberty, money shouldn't matter as much any more. Money is a vehicle to get yourself in that position. Once you're in that position, enjoy it. The best things in life are free.

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I started off doing literally anything that would earn me money, but a lot of my early work was writing for sports betting sites. Write what you know, so they say!

And then I realised that trying to establish a niche would be a good idea, and that trying to establish a niche in sport would be a bad idea. So I started to move towards technology writing. I worked my way up from the bottom, writing for some very small publications, and sometimes doing copywriting.

Eventually, I was an established technology writer, and managed to write for some bigger publications. Meanwhile, I expanded my niche into other areas.

Then a few years ago, I decided that the market for article writing was diminishing, or you had to write for the mainstream publications. The latter is never easy as a freelancer, and I don't have any interest in having a workplace and a job, particularly as virtually all media jobs in the UK are in London.

So I made the conscious decision to move into book writing. I've steadily built up my portfolio in this area, and I've written and edited about 30-35 books by now. Most books that I write are either with people who are experts in their field, or who have an extraordinary story to tell, or sometimes both. I've done quite a few biographies now, last year I wrote a book with a Paralympic gold medallist, and another interesting one was with a top salesman who had fled the Soviet Union when it became a failed state. I've written books on economics, technology, nutrition, health, politics, probably some other subjects that I can't recall right now, and some straight biographies.

I want to try to write 5-6 books per year (although I'm aware that I'm going to get older and more tired!) for the rest of my life, so that when I'm on my death bed I can say...I wrote 200-300 books, you can pile them up next to me in my grave, and no-one can say I didn't do something with my life.

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Very much planned from junior high school on.

Heard about fancy NE prep schools when I was in 7th grade. Seemed like going to college when you were 15 and thought that would be cool, plus it seemed like a fast track to a UC lifestyle. Busted my ass academically, in sports, and extracurriculars to get into one from a private day school that was regionally well known and academically respected.

After reading about the 1980s insider trading scandals and Liar’s Poker, I knew I wanted to go to Wall Street. Also seemed like the kids at prep school whose parents were corporate lawyers and investment bankers in NYC lived as well as the kids whose parents were CEOs or had 100 year old family money.

At first I thought I wanted to be a lawyer then decided bond trading would be more fun. Either way getting into a top college was paramount. One third of my graduating class from high school went to an Ivy undergrad, I busted ass academically, in sports, and extracurriculars and I made sure I was among them - applied to three Ivy colleges got into them all and went to the one where the majority of my best friends were going (stupid).

After toying with being a Philosphy/French double major in the first two years (this is your brain on weed), converted to the nearest thing to a pre-law track offered (PolySci) and minored in Econ, and busted ass academically and actual working (summer jobs & paid internships while in school). Senior year took the LSAT and applied to law school while also applying to the investment banks which recruited on campus. Got job offers from both of the main two investment banks that controlled global bond trading at the time to go trade bonds in NYC, accepted one for $75k/year plus signing bonus and moving bonus (for your first half year). That was coming up on 30 years ago. My first full year as a junior lackey I (barely) made the 6 figure mark.

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Not nonsense. I just forgot about Medicine's oddball placement system for jobs that doesn't apply to any other field. In the rest of STEM, 'S', 'T' and 'E', connections and networking are actually pretty valuable. You don't get a job based on a computer sorting system right out of school in those cases. Instead you often find one by either knowing someone or meeting people. (And even if you have maximum job security with tenure in academia, knowing people is still incredibly beneficial for getting your research out there or building collaborative projects with other top scientists.)

Blind applications sometimes work in STEM also, but you've got to send out a lot to get through. Then it's like online dating for most guys-- the competition is steep, and you can apply to 100 places to get maybe 1 interview.

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It has been ages i didnt talk to one buddy, just today i was complaining to my gf about how i miss some of my frined and with Covid and all we are talking less to each other and bla bla...

He just phoned me out of nowhere tonight and plugged me in a convo with his lil bro and other dudes, and at some point his lil bro asks:

...But how do you know if the girl is interested in you?

Talking about his crush at his job.

And i just understood what is the issue with a lot of young dudes in dating, if you need to be sure the girl you want, want you too before you try anything, to me thats a loser errand, cus often you will feel like you really not desired...sadly it just doesnt work like that, most of the time she doesnt see you like a dating prospect or she just doesnt even have an opinion on you, so like you need to actually go for it, like try to drop hint or whatever lol.

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More like, most young men wonder about that. It is part of growing up as your average man.

Compared to the extremely emotional/empathic/social women and the masks men use to get with these women/society....

Way too many young men come to the conclusion they are apathetic, avoidant, psychopathic, autistic, or some other set of mentally ill, when they are just growing into normal men who just do not use a social mask properly to deal with the world.

It is part of the experience of growing up, not too different from learning how to control your natural sexual urgest/aggression from affecting your behavior.

I think all men need to learn that, self restraint is a basis of society. Some learn earlier, some learn later, some never learn for a reason or another. But it is part of living as a man. You need who you are, and how you are. And control it for your own benefit... or at least, to avoid some demerit.

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More and more they are raging against "leftists" and their "cancel culture".

Good, cancel culture is a cancer. It was allowed to spread without check for too long and now more extreme methods are needed to eradicate it.

How white people are the ones being oppressed.

Not really true. White's aren't oppressed at all in the US. But equally neither are blacks. The true people suffering from institutional disadvantage based on immutable characteristics are immigrants.

Asking where is international men's day.

In a few months time. You must admit though that far more attention is given to women's day than men's day. This should be corrected and at least in recent years we have begun to see progress.

Laughing with the stupid super straight crowd.

Super straight is hilarious as a sub and a very valid sexuality. You aren't a SERF (Super Exclusionary Radical Fascist) are you?

Generally being offended when a person on the left gets offended at anything.

I agree, mimicking the lefty crybabies isn't the best way to counter them.

[–]athrowaway2832220 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

oh, i seeee. like was this a change or did they just hold on to beliefs they've always had?

More and more they are raging against "leftists" and their "cancel culture". How white people are the ones being oppressed.

that is definitely why a lot of younger people struggle to bond w/ older people, why "ok boomer" ever existed, why some older people are seen as hateful (though there's still super cool older people who are neither sjw, which i just classify as people on the "left" or liberals in specific who take it too far and are just annoying, nor close-minded 😎or older people whom my peers and i indoctrinate mwahahaha the evil left!!).

Asking where is international men's day.

this is apparently a common manosphere thing, i know tons of bfs who sent their gfs sweet messages about it being international women's day yesterday.. (notice how they have girlfriends :O)

Laughing with the stupid super straight crowd.

interesting. even among gen z who created this ("the boys") there are a ton of posts making fun of that crowd that get hundreds of thousands of likes b/c it's funny/ridiculous that some people take it seriously past the meme... (both men and women making posts like: "mfs who claim superstraight get 0 pussy", "taking superstraight seriously is woman repellent", etc.).

Generally being offended when a person on the left gets offended at anything.

ahh the usual. both "sides" at a clash w/ each other

p.s. i know i do not align politically with PPD very much when i see the responses to this reply of yours 😭

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Some guys try to give other answers or rationalize it, but it is mostly related to instinct.

Simply put, most guys are just instinctually repulsed by high n count women. It is not something social or even religious, it is just how most men work.

I would LOVE to be one of the few men who are fine with high n count women, and thus just share a small group of highly sexual women.

But the fact is, I am not, I am like almost all other men, repulsed by them, and would not want to be in their presence more than needed if I could. It is nothing personal, it is just instinctual.

That is why most are fine for sex (the sexual instinct is way stronger than the one related to repulsiveness for high n count women), but are not okay with having a relationship (as high n count women without being sexually starved are usually just a net negative to be around of to most men).

If you are one of the few who is not like that. Lucky to be you. But most are not like that.

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Sure if you just don't think about it and pretend you get to enjoy hedonism with no drawbacks, it sounds great on paper. That's why morons who don't think or challenge themselves trumpet it all the time.

You can make a chart, of problems sexual impulsivity creates on every stratum of human interaction:

from societal

to community

to social groups

to family groups

to personal problems.

People literally have written books on their opinions on this very topic. There isn't any justification for being confused or considering that there isn't a COMPELLING reason for people to think this way and that you're some god's gift to man for asking a question to a group of likeminded people and doing no legwork at all.

There's no decent reason anyone should have an opinion without at least understanding 1 moderately compelling justification to the opposite. This is a close minded behavior masquerading as openness and unwilling laziness masquerading as questioning.

spend 30 minutes, and actually try to make a compelling argument for it. And if you can't recognize that it's a failing of creativity, and go read a thesis counter to your personal belief, and really try to convince yourself it's true. What would be the minimum about yourself, and your perspective that you'd have to change for you to think like this and say the exact same thing?

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[–]chalkandapples1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The base level of treating me well caring about my happiness. It doesn't always have to happen (people can be in bad moods, they might be the one that needs reassuring instead), but I should be able to sense that they want good things for me.

Generally in practice, this means if the guy yells at me, is kinda me to me (sexual jokes, jokes at my expense), intimidate / threaten me in any way, or gets pushy for intimacy after I communicated I'm not comfortable, tries to put me in situations they should know would be uncomfortable, or basically if I get a bad feeling I would usually not want to move forward.

Some disclaimers, I tend to be more comfortable for jokes and teasing after get more familiar with someone. If I had sex with them, then sex jokes become more appropriate. But you have to build rapport and a solid foundation before you start teasing, I expect the guy to have enough emotional intelligence to figure out if something is making me uncomfortable. I'm also aware that there's a difference between yelling because of an emotional outburst or yelling for intimidation factors. I don't think someone is malicious if they lose control of their emotions and make an outburst, but a lack of emotional regulation is also not good.

Treating someone well matters at the receiver's end, not the giver's end. If they don't want attention, then it's fine if you don't give them attention. If they do want attention and is suffering because of it, then it's not kind for you to know that and not do anything about it. Sometimes two people are just incompatible because person A simply can't make person B happy naturally without a lot of effort which will make person A unhappy.

I don't think indifference is abuse (although I hear it can be used in abusive ways if people can't leave - like parent to child or if someone manipulates a situation where the other person can't exit), but I definitely wouldn't enjoy a relationship where someone is indifferent to me so I would probably break up for incompatibility reasons.

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[–]Workaholiconew0 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I do not think what anyone thinks about the act really defines "treating well". But it is more of a question of preference, personally I prefer more objective matters, so it does not matter the givers, or receivers end, just how it affects the world in the end. Call this, the consequentialist approach, if you will.

If they do want attention and is suffering because of it, then it's not kind for you to know that and not do anything about it.

Suffering is not your's, mine's, or anyone's business. Suffering is the nature of the living. I would consider not worsening a person's life by interfering with it unless to significantly help them like giving charity or trade of goods and services to be enough of a definition for"treating someone well".

I like to think that unless you are willing to supply a significant improvement to another, it is better to leave them alone, for your, and their happiness. As you would be a source of responsibilities/problems to them.

Generally in practice, this means if the guy yells at me, is kinda me to me (sexual jokes, jokes at my expense), intimidate / threaten me in any way, or gets pushy for intimacy after I communicated I'm not comfortable, tries to put me in situations they should know would be uncomfortable, or basically if I get a bad feeling I would usually not want to move forward.

Then you know how most men feel about social interaction without the intent of trades of goods and services or charity.... which may be your case too. But to us, it is rare to have social interaction which will ends with us getting something valuable in the end. Thus our lack of behavior towards social interaction unless something is needed from it.

but I definitely wouldn't enjoy a relationship where someone is indifferent to me so I would probably break up for incompatibility reasons.

You and most women. It is extremely frustrating to men, who outside of trades of goods and services or other ways to acquire goods and services, have little, if any social intent.

[–]chalkandapples1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Your personality seems a bit different than most people I know.

Suffering is not your's, mine's, or anyone's business. Suffering is the nature of the living.

My personal philosophy is different from this. And as is the philosophy of my social circle. If I see suffering and can easily relieve it, I would for a stranger. If I see suffering and has to go out of my way to relieve it, I would do so for a friend. If it's close friends or family (including spouses / BF if we're close enough) I would significantly go out of my way for them. You seem to have a philosophy of leaving people alone. I don't think this is wrong, but it's just not how I live or the culture I'm used to. I can respect your way of thinking but we won't really make good friends on a day to day basis.

Honestly most men I know appreciates help and likes social interactions. Lots of them are more social than me. I don't live in a reality where men and women are that different socially. Some people are more social than others, but I don't think know anyone as extreme as you when it comes to indifference to people.

Anyways, I feel like your concern is more of a personality mismatch between you and most women around you than an actual question of treating them well. You can have the best intentions and want to treat them well, but they want is something you can't give them without being very uncomfortable, then neither of you is wrong, you're just not compatible.

[–]Workaholiconew1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Eh, I like being sincere here.

And no, I do not have a "leave other people alone policy" I have "I will not interfere with others if I can policy". I do not actually go out of my way to leave people alone, and because of social consequences/my needs, I am forced to deal with others way more than I would if I was alone or satisfied.

I would actually love a world where more people would just leave each other alone more. I am too tired of ideologues and social pressures, you see? I hate having to fake caring about some meaningless religion, or modern ideology to just acquire basic needs or continual success.

I do see most men being social. But I don't think most of them actually do it because they enjoy it, more like... they need to do it, so they do it. I seriously think most are not here or there with most social interactions, and just trying to acquire/maintain goods and services, and thus, needing to interact more than they would otherwise.

I mean, many men, when rich enough to not need more money or with a good source of sex, tend to be way less social, no? Around were I live, almost all women I know had/has a bf/husband which would become close to mute and antisocial some months after starting a relationship... in my mind, they were just sexually satisfied and thus less of a reason to be social, and completely unaware of the social needs of their gfs/wives, who in fact NEED the social interaction... Has that never happened to you? Why would you think that happens?

About the personality thing. There is no such a thing as a mismatch, I do what is needed, and they will give me what I want if I do what is needed. I just find interesting the way we diverge in the definition of some words. Many men will actually be deeply bothered by you if you interfere with their business, even if they need help and thus treat each other with non interference as bein treated well, while many women will be actually bothered by not being interfered socially.

[–]chalkandapples1 point 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don't experience what you do. I don't think most men become almost mute after they get in a relationship, unless they're around the girl's social group or is kinda forced to participate something they have no interest in.

I feel like interfering with others is just another way of saying interacting with others.

My husband might not have much to say when I get together with my friends and start talking about high school times but he's definitely chatty when we're gaming with this own high school buddies.

I don't like socializing that much and loves time alone with myself. But I do enjoy it with my friends in environments I'm comfortable in. I used to think I was super anti-social, but realized that I was only like that because the social situation was parties and the activities were things I didn't like to do. It became draining and fake and all the stuff you seem to be complaining about.

Once I started doing things I'm actually passionate and excited about, like talking about anime or games etc. I get much more energy. I still can't socialize for long periods of time, but I enjoy people more now. I guess maybe you just feel annoyed at hanging out with people because they're just dragging you into doing activities you don't actually like.

As for me, personality match is definitely a thing. I know for sure there are people who I cannot be friends with, I would just annoy them and they will annoy me after a day. On the other hand, some people I can hang out for super long periods of time before my "I need to be alone" time kicks in. We should be able to live in each other's company naturally without either of us being forced to behave in ways that's not natural to us.

I do what is needed, and they will give me what I want if I do what is needed.

I mean if you put a gun to my head, I can probably force a lot of mismatched relationships to work. But the point of a relationship is that you need to feel happy, safe, and comfortable in it. You shouldn't be under pressure all the time to perform.

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I dont really think its the submissiveness as the main or only reason. Like sure guys might like the idea of a girl who cooks and is more/shy/calm in demeanor over an agressive yelling one but I don't think most guys want some subservient houseslave that bends to his every whim without any desires or opinions of her own.

I think a lot of it is looks, they are generally shorter, petite or at least not fat, have cute/friendly/high trust faces and dark thick hair which is often perceived as feminine and exotic if you're not used to it. Tbh even as a guy I'm pretty jealous of asian hair. I definitely think they got the best hair genetics.

In addition there is the stereotype of them fetishizing white guys. Now I think thats probably overblown and that realistically they only fetishize a very specific white guy i.e 6ft tall blond haired blue eyed white guys but if a guy buys into the idea that they fetishize white guys or that other one that they are tighter/less likely to be size queens I think that can also be appealing. Again not saying the stereotypes about Asians are true here but if a guy believes them guys often do like the idea of being fetishized or a girl being exceptionally sexually arroused by his physical traits or genuinely prefering his dick size and thinking he's big. If a guy believes hes more likely to be perceived that way by a certain demographic of women I think it carries a lot of appeal. Much more than just submissiveness/subservience.

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what type of drugs? you mean marijuana? i think millennials and zoomers do less hard drugs than before actually (and may very from high school to high school, college to college, workplace maybe to workplace. i didn't realize how popular coke was in college yikes!).

weed is common and imo pretty harmless (though i understand why people wouldn't date a stoner) unless you're really young and it affects your brain, and/or you use it consistently and are likely to become dependent on it. at my high school there was a good number of stoners but the veeeery few who did "harder" drugs (coke specifically) did it very covertly as you put it and if people found out, they'd talk negatively lmao. alcohol was just for getting drunk w/ your friends or gatherings but not as commonly used as weed. context: diverse public school

vapes (like juuls specifically), not exactly drugs but of the ilk, also are/were pretty popular (like from personal experience: i'd say they were very popular among the middle schools & high school in my district my sophomore and junior years so from like 2017-2019ish). a lot of kids didn't realize that it's literally just nicotine repackaged and pretty addictive, so after a while when kids started getting sick from it or seriously addicted, people started repackaging it as "unattractive" to do. as in "i won't date you if you smoke", or under tiktoks "oh i thought she was cute till i saw the vape". weed is accepted and normalized on the dl b/c it relieves anxiety and doesn't completely fuck up your lungs.

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What? Drug testing usually isn't worth the expense in the Corp world. At least in marketing it's unheard of, if not considered uncouth.

Never heard that before. I get that some sectors might not drug test, but I was under the impression that most do.

I don't know how many people in my company are stoners or cokeheads, frankly it doesn't matter as long as they can deliver and our clients are happy.

I've heard that Adderall is the drug of choice in office environments.

Personally I've been high for almost 20 years and I just started a new job as a senior marketing director for X big name tech company.

Interesting. Maybe some people are also just immune from testing. I imagine that they're not testing the upper echelons and CEOs/CFOs and whatnot, but certain jobs (like being a commercial driver, police officer, etc.) require it.

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Finger her anally more often during doggy with lube and short nails.
Introduce Daddy/Babygirl dirty talk if you haven’t already... chicks love that shit... unless your a bitch.
Get better at it.
Dirty talk into her ear really well after significant foreplay narrating how dirty of a girl she is to be taking a finger into her ass and liking it. More dirty talk, if you do this well enough she will orgasm.
After a few oral orgasms with anal stimulation. Talk out the lube and say “Your gonna make daddy proud today aren’t you, your gonna take my dick up your ass like a good little girl.” She should be significantly turned on and will accept.
Use lots of lube and go slowly very slowly and if she in pain for a bit say “relax push out.” To expand the anal muscles. Then say “I know my baby girl can handle it. I know you’ll make daddy proud.”
Take it slow and then you should be able to get her to orgasm and she will be you anal slut from now on.

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Weekly Community Chat Megathread

Comments

ITS CALLED A BOYFRIEND

Title	Weekly Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	13
Comments	3092
Date	March 8, 2021 9:00 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/m0pyfc/weekly_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/weekly-community-chat-megathread.752292 https://theredarchive.com/post/752292