Do you think there are more men willing to be house husbands or more women will to have house husbands?

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2023-12-06T15:48:06+00:00

I would imagine there are more men willing to be house husbands.

Schmurby · 2023-12-06T15:51:05+00:00

I asked my wife this very question and she was like “fuck yeah, I’d like you to be a stay at home dad!”

Then I asked her what she would have thought if I had told her that was my ambition when we started dating and before we had kids and she was silent for a really long time and then said, “I don’t know”.

I think that says a lot .

EulenWatcher · 2023-12-06T15:50:29+00:00

I think if you made a poll, you'd see more men willing to be househusbands than women willing to marry one, but it wouldn't really represent one's long-term attitude towards it. I'm not sure how many men would really want and be ready and capable to stay at home and do all the household management/micromanagement and childcare on a good level especially with multiple small children for years.

Also on a side note I think it's similar with genders reversed - more people would prefer to stay at home and not to work rather than go outside and provide for a whole family. Although women are more aware about the downsides of being SAHMs, so there aren't as many of them willing to be forever SAHMs these days.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-12-06T16:40:30+00:00

Women who say they could live with a husband >> Men willing to be house husband >> Women who would actually continue to find a house husband sexually attractive.

ComfortableJeans · 2023-12-06T15:50:05+00:00

I think most women wouldn't want to be with a house husband.

I think women understand that being the soul breadwinner is a LOT of stress and hard work, and they don't have to do it. Both in their social expectations and relationship options.

I think most women understand that they could simply get a better partner very easily, in comparison to the house husband.

Whether that's fair or not is another question entirely, but I think that is the reality of the situation.

I also imagine that a LOT of men would be willing to do it, and would even do it very well. But a lot of those men are likely not the types of men who would have lots of luck with women.

I think, anyway.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2023-12-06T16:20:55+00:00

Definitely more men.

House husbands might exist out of necessity but women certainly don’t find them attractive.

Even high flying career minded woman are still hardwired to look for providers. It’s simply a result of hundreds of thousands of years of evolution. It’s also why there is still an expectation for a guy to pay for a date even if the woman is better off than him financially.

Now of course this goes both ways to an extent. Men are also hardwired by evolution to want to be the provider. The only reason you’ll have more men happy to be a house husband is that a lot of men absolutely detest being a wage slave and would find being a house husband a much more fulfilling life than being chained to a desk at a mundane job for 60 years.

Women have only been in the work force for a few generations and have spent their lives being told working yourself to the bone for an uncaring corporation is somehow a great aspiration in life. Men, who have been doing this since the dawn of industry, are less susceptible to this line of thinking and unless they are particularly ambitious view work as a means to an end rather than some glorious goal that the patriarchy has been withholding from them.

Mitago1 · 2023-12-06T16:10:21+00:00

I doubt that most people really want a stay at home partner these days, since i can't imagine someone providing for a whole family with just their income nowadays, at least when it comes to where i live.

But if we don't count that, there would probably be way more men willing to be house husbands than woman willing to have a house husband, there are probably multiple reasons for that, but one of them is that a decent amount (not all obviously) of men lack the understanding of how much time and mental energy is really spent on taking care of the household chores, kids, etc.

reddit_is_geh · 2023-12-06T19:17:49+00:00

The data is pretty conclusive on this one. If you're a stay at home husband, you're overwhelmingly likely to get a divorce soon. Women just absolutely loath being the breadwinner, no matter how much they say otherwise. Cheating skyrockets above 50%, divorce is almost certain. It's bad news.

macone235 · 2023-12-06T16:24:55+00:00

I'd wager that significantly more men are willing to be house husbands than women are willing to have house husbands.

As always, it's important to ignore the gaslighting, and remember that gender roles are created and maintained by women. Men are always going to be expected to strictly adhere to their role, and that includes providing and leading.

Waschbar-krahe · 2023-12-06T16:27:33+00:00

I can't speak for others but I love my house husband/fiance. We both work, but I work more so he's usually keeping most of the chores under control

RepresentativeMark16 · 2023-12-06T17:06:58+00:00

I've been a stay at home parent, and now I'm a single working parent. Let me tell you the "gold standard" in child care (assuming you have a willing parent and are able to afford it) is a stay at home parent. You can be virtually assured you have someone who is dedicating their time and attention to your child, and in this case it's ideally the person you trust the most to care for your child or children. You also can work late, leave early, adjust your schedule, travel, etc. with minimal planning, disruption, or added cost. The next best thing is a nanny (but they are rightfully crazy expensive) and then daycare. I can't be a stay at home parent again, just because of where I am in my new career and I'm not sure if I'll have another child. But if I did and I could swing it I would prefer to either stay home again, or I'd be more than happy to have a partner take on that role for a few years, assuming we could afford it. Leaving a baby at home to go to work would be so much easier if I could leave them with the other parent.

Anecdotally my brother stayed home with his newborn, and he still covers much of child care and housework to support his higher-earning partner. And my best friend works and goes to grad school, her husband stays home with their son. I've seen both of those arrangements really work for the respective couples. But also they're individuals who aren't as preoccupied with traditional gender norms. I think the ideal scenario is a SAH parent when the kids are young, and everyone goes back to work in some capacity once the kids are in school full-time.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2023-12-06T19:23:36+00:00

I don't even think women really want to be housewives.

Icy-Sprinkles-638 · 2023-12-06T19:31:55+00:00

Men willing, absolutely. Women leaving men they out-earn is a very well documented phenomenon. The reason you don't see more house husbands is because women lose attraction when it is tried and wind up divorcing them.

Something-bothersome · 2023-12-07T00:23:45+00:00

It’s difficult to tell as people don’t calculate the cost until they are in that dynamic and the cost keeps increasing for years. Particularly if the “homemaker” / “breadwinner” chooses that role for life rather than just a few years.

Even if it’s short term, the cost to career progression is huge and often the roles you choose to go back to are limited as you tend to pick up roles that allows you the flexibility to respond to your old home based responsibilities. Your partner has probably progressed in their career and are in more advanced roles that aren’t as suited to child sick days and school pickups, and you are now financially locked into their increased income so it all becomes very “logical” that you continue to balance it out.

There is no “retirement” from being a homemaker, it just ticks along for life. Certainly not that direct contrast of 3rd stage of life that a breadwinner gets upon retirement. While the breadwinner can “step up” to home based tasks upon retirement, meh it doesn’t always happen.

As a homemaker you don’t get the breadth of “reflection” across the life path of having worked in paid employment, with its achievements and challenges. As the breadwinner you still get to experience the house, kids, and so on and have those experiences while the homemaker doesn’t get the other side of the coin. While a breadwinner can be very active in home life, a homemaker can not really be very active in a career. Then there is the social cost, seeing your peers achieve, progress and develop is manageable for a few years for sure, longer term is hard and can often feel like treading water.

The breadwinner also has a cost, the stress and uncertainty of having to maintain an income, of not getting sick or injured - which it’s very likely at some point, of career progression to keep up with cost of living. Life has a nasty habit of having events that requires two parents being available so as much as you have the division it will become blurred whether your role has that flexibility built in or not.

Then there is the whole who controls the income issue.

Both roles have massive cost and don’t become as apparent in the early years, so no matter how many men “are willing” to be home makers, and how many women “are willing” to take them, it’s probably truly hard to know. I think a lot of people tend to dabble a bit with both roles these days to reduce the inherent cost found in each and sure up or supplement financial income.

TWCDev · 2023-12-06T15:58:02+00:00

I know more and more men who are "house husbands", though honestly most people are better off when everyone works. I make good money (200k), the people who I know who make in the 150 range live radically different lives because often their partners make the same and 300k is crazy money. Also, I think most people are better off if they have life goals they can work towards, so even if they're a house husband, they would be better off than just playing video games or whatever.

MistyMaisel · 2023-12-06T16:52:27+00:00

I think we need working definition of house husband, honestly. If we mean a man who is willing to stay home, do fuck all or very little, and expect sex and food when his wife gets home, yes, I imagine there are drastically more men who would love to sign up for that arrangement than women willing to have him.

If we mean a man who is willing to do all of the cooking, cleaning, administrative tasks, shopping, child-care, home-making, animal care, health-care, consideration of the provider's whims, receiving minor to zero praise for this, and social calendar and obligation keeping (to a high level), I do not think many men are actually interested in this compared to how many women may be very interested in this dynamic.

I could of course be wrong, but I would then strongly consider the reason aren't so interested is that they still have to be pregnant and have the babies while working and there's nothing a house-husband could do to improve that situation, while being a housewife drastically improves that situation as temporary as that situation may be.

OKSector69 · 2023-12-06T20:43:54+00:00

The thing is that all of the other gender dynamics won't have changed. What do you make the kids for breakfast and lunch, what groceries should you buy, how clean should the house be, what chores need to be done, what errands need to be run, what after school activities should the kids be doing? These will all still be dictated by her and he will be expected to perform to her standards. So it's not at all equal. He can't just do things however he wants to like a SAHM can.

Plus she's going to feel like "having" to manage all of that is additional mental "labor" that she's doing so she's still going to feel like she's doing twice as much as him.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-12-06T16:13:22+00:00

I would prfer a house husband because I hate house chores. I would not be only ok with it, I actually PREFER it. But if not, we can hire a cleaner once a week or two. I'm willing to pay for it but I will not be a house maid.

I think it's more men who wouldn't like it.

harmonica2 · 2023-12-06T16:33:00+00:00

I think more men would be willing to, women were willing to be able to. Women want to have careers but they also want their men to make more money than them and have bigger careers than them. So I think men are less open to it because women are less open to it?

dabbydab · 2023-12-06T16:36:53+00:00

lol yes I think there are more people willing to not work than there are people willing to support someone who doesn't work

OtPayOkerSmay · 2023-12-06T16:56:23+00:00

Women in increasing numbers are doing the whole "trophy husband" thing now. They realize they aren't going to get the handsome investment banker, so they instead go for the handsome bum who will be financially dependent. The handsome bum isn't intimated by women in the slightest, so he's fine with the arrangement.

MidoriEgg · 2023-12-06T17:00:05+00:00

I don’t know anyone who can afford to have one spouse be a house wife/husband in this economy.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-12-06T17:42:25+00:00

Man, I wish my husband went back to being a househusband, we were all much calmer and well fed compared to now.

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-12-06T17:50:59+00:00

As a male, I will never depend on someone else for my financial security, that’s just it lol.

But for everyone else. I really doubt more women are willing to start relationship’s specifically with househusband men.

Now more women are in a position that would allow for the negotiation of a househusband over the course of a relationship. But they are not starting relationships with the idea that they will have a house husband in mind

Jaded_Interaction162 · 2023-12-06T18:39:43+00:00

I want this relationship dynamic so I have something to lord over him + he has more time to devote to worshipping me.

I'd only do this if I was making big bucks though so it's just a fantasy.

iLiveInAHologram94 · 2023-12-06T18:46:52+00:00

Oh my bf is down bad for that. I'm willing to consider it if I make a certain amount of money or above, which I don't think will happen. But I don't think it's a good idea really as I saw how it worked out for my parents. If you divorce you're both screwed. I wish I was capable of being a stay at home mom someday but I'm not. I'd get so depressed. But I just don't think it's a good financial decision for either party.

itsallieellie · 2023-12-06T19:13:01+00:00

I would love a house husband tbh. I prefer to work but I have no issue being pregnant if I knew I could go back to work when my 1 year maternity leave was up. It’s the uncertainty of having to become a stay at home mom that I don’t like. I have a career I love and leaving it for too long is career suicide.

wheartv · 2023-12-06T20:07:59+00:00

More women willing to be house wives

No matter what they say, everyone looks down on a house husband

If I was one, I’d assume my wife would eventually cheat on me

historyhill · 2023-12-06T21:35:20+00:00

My husband is very willing to be a SAHD and as a SAHM I'd love for him to do it instead of me! But alas, he's an engineer and I am not. Were money no object, we would both be SO happy to do this, but money is the single most important consideration outside of, like, "are you so depressed at your job that your life or health are at risk?"

MotherPermit9585 · 2023-12-06T21:47:27+00:00

Wife of a house husband here 🙋🏻‍♀️ I love it and don’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks about our relationship.

I think a lot of men say they would be happy with a homemaker wife but very few actually would. The reality is you need a really high income (probably at least 200k annually depending on location) to support a family with a stay at home parent or be very frugal. Most people just don’t make enough money for that.

TonytheNetworker · 2023-12-07T00:30:34+00:00

I imagine many guys would love to be a house husband especially since the option is almost never seriously considered or viable for the vast majority of men.

Captain_Save_A_304 · 2023-12-07T02:11:49+00:00

Many women do not want a partner or 50/50 husband. They want a meal ticket. Oops, I mean provider. They ascribe to traditional gender roles when it benefits them only. Otherwise they are progressive empowered sluts. So no... women do not want a house husband because they have no resources to leech off of in that scenario. On the flip side. Men would love to be house husbands. Men want to be loved as human beings, not human doings. Being a house husband is proof that she loves you as a human being, which most women are incapable of.

63daddy · 2023-12-06T16:13:38+00:00

I think there are certainly many men who would be happy to be a house husband but can’t because the wife isn’t willing to support him.

It’s much more achievable for women to be a stay at home spouse than it is for men overall.

One place I’ve seen this double standard often manifested is when a husband reaches retirement age before his working wife. I’ve seen men delay retirement until the wife meets retirement age due to this issue. In contrast, a wife retiring before the husband is less of an issue.

While it’s harder for men to be a stay at home spouse, I think there are fewer men than women who strongly desire to do so. I think traditional roles still prevail.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-12-06T17:36:17+00:00

There are more women willing to have house husbands. Men are checking out from the dating scene are for a good reason. Marriage is way too risky for them and most men wouldn't want to be a an old single mom's last option so that she might divorce him later on. The juice is not worth the squeeze.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2023-12-06T18:59:36+00:00

From the comments I’ve seen here, far more husbands wish to be “house husbands” but do not want to do the work of a house husband.

They understand what it takes to be a breadwinner. They understand get “go to work, make money, come home, finish a chore or two, play with kids, me time.”

Counting the number of “wHaT dO wOmEn Do AlL dAy?!” Posts I see - they want to stay home without engaging in the emotional labor, household and relationship maintenance, planning, organizing, executing, shopping, doctors visits, teachers names, child’s preferences, dinner cooking, chauffeuring, etc that comes with being a SAHM.

This is more than demonstrated when we see both parents working in the home. Both men and women over estimate how many hours a week are dedicated to house work and other tasks but women are still doing an extra couple hours a week of tasks compared with men, even if both worked the same amount. Add to this the emotional labor aspect, thinking of “oh we are running out of x better pick that up on x shopping trip, kid 1 has a stuffy nose and I need to make a doctors appointment and ask my boss to switch my shift with Karen so I can take him, kid 2 is growing out of his shoes, I gotta run to kohls to get shoes when I stop there for new towels since ours have holes in them, - so not just executing but planning and preemptively anticipating the families needs. This is where I see most men - who are typically very 50/50 in their relationships - drop the ball. Even in my own relationship that I believe is very healthy and very happy and very even in most aspects, that emotional labor is still up to me. He just wasn’t socialized that way. He will buy toilet paper once he notices that he has run out. He will keep holey underwear for years. He won’t meal plan, and a lot of food (and money and time shopping) ends up going to waste. These are just off of the top of my head. I’m a sure a deeper dive could find hundreds of ways this emotional aspect is left up to one person, and that is typically the woman. It’s not that men don’t do these things, can’t learn these things or no relationship ever has had a man do these things instead of the woman, but we are talking statistical average, for more info: research on the “second shift,” also “fair play” is a good book to check out, - but you can find research all over. This is obviously a single comment that leaves out tons of nuance.

bluestjuice · 2023-12-06T17:08:09+00:00

I would say that there are probably more women willing to have house husbands, but with the caveat that the house husband actually meets the woman’s expectations in terms of housekeeping. I suspect that in reality many men would not be willing to meet that expectation and that therefore the actual proportion of happy breadwinner women with house husbands would be much lower.

Sophiatab · 2023-12-06T17:24:26+00:00

I don't believe there are many men willing to be house husbands and actually do the work a housewife is expected to do, simply because it's hard, frequently monotonous and demeaning work, that most housewives actually hate, but do because someone has to do it and it makes the best economic sense for their families. Most men simply aren't capable of the sacrifice necessary.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-12-06T16:17:27+00:00

Would I be willing to if it were what was best for my family? Sure. But my wife joked that with my personality I’d probably end up with a Mercari side hustle selling crap online using our garage as storage.

badgersonice · 2023-12-06T18:42:48+00:00

more men willing to be house husbands

Willing to be full-time house husbands who pull their weight by running the household and caring for the kids 24/7?

Or willing to be a house-husband who gets his wife to work a job so he can play video games all day and smoke weed?

Not sure there’s so many of the former. They exist, but honestly, a lot of men do not particularly respect the work of a traditional stay at home wife, and wouldn’t be able to respect themselves if they did that work. Like, look at how so many men describe their wife’s years of work if he’s getting a divorce: then it’s all about “she’s taking half of my stuff!”— he thought her contributions were worthless all along.

And since this was a recent tangential topic— some of the men in this sub suggested that a woman should be submissive to the man if she’s earning less money. Considering at least some men feel this way, how many fewer men would be willing to be a stay at home husband if it also required being submissive to the higher earner?

boredom4321 · 2023-12-06T17:51:34+00:00

It'll be skewed because women assume most "house husbands" really just expect to sit and home and watch the game without actually taking care of the house work. If dudes want to be house husbands without having negatives attached they should (cue angry lazy dudes) go hustle and get themselves to a point where they don't really need to work anymore and can live passively. I'm a house husband by default because I don't need to work anymore.

fullfacejunkie · 2023-12-06T19:46:50+00:00

Men are very willing to be house husbands but most do not have any concept of what needs to be done around the house or how much work it is to maintain. Especially with kids. Would not be surprised if many couples still had the wife doing 80% of the chores and child care while having a lazy ass “house husband” just hanging around the house in his boxers playing video games.

KayRay1994 · 2023-12-06T16:06:26+00:00

most men don’t want to be househusbands, and while i think most women don’t want a househusband, more women are okay with it than men.

2023-12-06T15:51:03+00:00

Yes, of course who does not like free stuff.

One who doesn't earn money but does the house work and the majority of the childcare

I mean there are people like that but women who are SAHM feel that they dont have to do majority of housework because childcare is the toughest job or something.

So from what women on internet thinks is fair, SAHD, should only do 50 percent of chores, 50 percent of parenting when wife comes home.

Its a pretty sweet deal

Amiskon2 · 2023-12-06T15:58:59+00:00

Most men don't want to be house husbands in the way women are, they do want more time but they usually want their own business and doing stuff.

Women also don't really respect house husbands.

So I would argue women would rather stay alone than have house husbands.

FromAuntToNiece · 2023-12-06T16:07:15+00:00

This would work only in terms of polyamorous economics, specifically MFF, MFM, and MFMF.

So far, this has yet to seep from the world of renters into the world of homeowners. For the latter, it's all about getting a package maid / babysitter.

There is also an increase in group homeownership by two couples.

Residential affordability north of the border is insane. Maybe this will be encouraged?

thedarkracer · 2023-12-06T20:13:20+00:00

I wouldn't be saying for all but men usually lose their minds without a project to work on. It could be anything like even a hobby. Also, most men believe they will only be loved or valued if they provide money so if they are SAHD, they wouldn't provide and thus won't be loved. On top of that, society would make fun of him saying he is much stronger than his wife but lets her do the heavy lifting. If in a scenario, a man gets a lot of mental and emotional support from his wife then it's a higher chance of being a house husband.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2023-12-11T02:37:21+00:00

Most women, especially ones who have options, are not gonna choose a guy who wants to sit at home doing nothing all day, especially if there aren’t any children involved… that’s not a “house husband”, that guy is just a regular ole bum and the vast majority of women will avoid him and go pick a guy who actually has his shit together if given the choice, don’t let these other virtue signaling people in the comments fool you😂

januaryphilosopher · 2023-12-06T16:00:33+00:00

More women by far. It's easy to want someone to do it for you and hard to do. I don't think I've ever met a man who doesn't want to work at all, they really don't like the idea of being dependent.

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Financial_Chemist286 · 2023-12-06T16:16:28+00:00

I would love to be a house husband. The hard party is finding a woman you like and love that can carry the both of you much less evaluate the relationship to benefit her.

The fact is most women wouldn’t be with a men who doesn’t produce, work and bring money to support them and the household.

Most hard working men that have stay at home wives wouldn’t be able to turn the tables around because those women wouldn’t be with them if they didn’t benefit from the men’s resources and productions.

Most women on the other hand wouldn’t mind being with a powerful rich man that can keep them at home.

Financial_Chemist286 · 2023-12-06T16:19:28+00:00

I’m sure there are some men out there that cook, clean and care for children better than most women do.

Like they wouldn’t just do laundry once every 2 weeks.

A man would make that work efficient and probably could run the house better. But finding a woman to pay for the house, bills and bring the bacon home is whole other story.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-12-06T16:45:12+00:00

I used to be one of them.

But with the job I have it feels irresponsible to do so. Not that it pays well but it just means that I took a degree in place of someone who would have done more good with it.

Cant do that

Neptune-Jnr · 2023-12-06T16:59:43+00:00

More men are willing to be house husbands. Not saying every man would be but I could hardly imagine women actually being okay with their man just at home cooking and cleaning but not making any money.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-12-06T17:05:34+00:00

How do you disprove one of the genders? Lets say 100% of each gender believes in their respective opinion. Who is to say which one is wrong?

Men: "Women say one thing and mean another"
Women: "Ditto for men"

I can say this, no woman has approached me, asking me to be a house husband for me to turn down. But I have approached many poor women looking for a homemaker. But how do you measure this? Surveys? See the above point about saying one thing.

Everyone lies. Only thing I care about is actions, and those are HARD to measure.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-12-06T17:12:32+00:00

More men who like it as a concept > men who actually can deal with being house husband's > women who like it as a concept> women who would actually thrive in such a setting ( type A who is comfortable being the more dominant partner and is not insecure in herself to the point of wanting a man to out alpha her)

Safinated · 2023-12-06T17:15:05+00:00

They are increasing every year, yes

I know a half dozen

tawny-she-wolf · 2023-12-06T17:16:55+00:00

We've discussed it jokingly with my partner. He'd only consider being one for someone who makes waaaay more than I do and I'd only be willing to have one if I made way more than I currently do (and you better believe my standards for a house husband would be through the roof) - no kids.

2023-12-06T17:18:59+00:00

Way more!

This is getting more and more normalized, both for men and women. I personally love working from home, like doing some house chores, but can't imagine being a stay home wife, personally. I like my job a lot. I would be ok with a husband staying home, as long as we reach an agreement on what is a stay home partner, same rules applicable to myself should I be the one to not work.

I don't think most men or women would be ok with this modern dynamic, but more and more so would be ok with it.

basedmama21 · 2023-12-06T17:43:40+00:00

Both, unfortunately. Not natural.

SmallSituation6432 · 2023-12-06T17:44:25+00:00

I bet most people in a relationship would be completely fine with it, both genders.

The problem is all the normal assumptions that can be made about a guy with no professional ambition on a date. The fact that men have been expected to work and provide for so long means rejecting that norm becomes abnormal. That makes it something to analyze. Typically that kind of analysis won't end with good conclusions.

Not fair, but it is the result of norms we had up till now. I think the only way to address it is for men to be able to speak competently about why they are comfortable with an abnormal arrangement (which they can't, evidenced by many comments already) well enough for a woman to believe him. Tall order honestly, much easier to assume hes lying/delusional and move on.

Liqhthouse · 2023-12-06T17:53:24+00:00

Men. Cos men will do anything to get a relationship these days even at the cost of their own happiness.

SweetConfident9091 · 2023-12-06T18:32:40+00:00

I think there are more men willing to be house husbands then women willing to be commited to.

With my current partner Im totally open to the idea. He mentioned it too, but I would need a few extra years to be that financially stable so we can live the most comfortable life with my income only. Although I haven't really though it out all, but Im open for a conversation in the comments.

Zombombaby · 2023-12-06T19:19:05+00:00

My husband wanted to be a househusband/SAHP. I hated it when I did it as a woman. It's an individual choice.

lostatlifecoach · 2023-12-06T20:12:33+00:00

My inability to be a house husband has nothing to do with my wife and everything to do with every other man and woman I'd interact with.

Other men will respect you less. Women will to a lesser extent. You'll be viewed as lazy, untrustworthy, feminine, or any combination of those and several others. People will be less likely to allow their children over for play dates and I can't imagine fathers being excited about "the house husband's son" dating their daughter.

I mean you get the girl to marry you she should become the not every girl girl to you. Obviously she deviates from the norm and you know her well enough to know how cool she would be.

Society though. Even if I don't view the house husband as a loser enough of the other men in my demographic will. They won't let their kids hang out with his kids. Then nobody will want to hang out there because "enough kids" can't.

The social external problems will cause the wife's resentment. Every house husband I've known either went back to work because of what I listed or is still viewed as a loser by everyone I talk to.

Then again I only know 2 that did it for 4 or more years. I'm satisfied they are both useless fucks and if their wives were under 400lbs and could trade up they would.

coping_man · 2023-12-06T21:02:16+00:00

for most women the idea of earning more than their male partner and having to SPEND MORE MONEY ON HIM than they get out of him is like suggesting that they eat everything they see in a dumpster and roll in it so im betting on the former by a ~30:1 margin

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-12-06T23:27:12+00:00

I think more men would say they would be willing to be househusbands than actually would be happy with it, and I think more women would be willing to say they would want a househusband than would actually be happy with how he ended up doing the housework and childcare. A lot of it also depends on the age of the children - infants and toddlers require 24/7 care and I think most men underestimate how exhausting that is. Older children go to school, can do more for themselves, and can be a lot of fun, but kids 6-8 are still really tiring. Older kids and teens are more independent but can be difficult in their own way, and mom usually is the one who has to deal with the not fun parts of parenting. And men are usually more relaxed about how housework is done, which isn’t a always bad thing but can create conflict.

Overall, I think this arrangement does work for a lot of couples, but men shouldn’t assume it’s easy in any way and women shouldn’t assume their husbands will do things their way.

edjohn88 · 2023-12-07T00:20:36+00:00

If you’re, pilled you understand there is a disconnect from the women’s perspective. The vast majority of women naturally groom their ideal mate to join the nesting ritual and the same majority will end up frustrated if/when he gives in too easily or too fully.

Men are wired more simply, so usually when they find the opportunity to settle into a routine they become lazy and complacent and this isn’t really the woman’s intent, so the man thinks he’s “being a good man” doing the same things she sees as becoming a dope.

CradlingBrokenGlass · 2023-12-07T04:00:17+00:00

Daycare and costs associated with commuting soared after COVID-19 so in many ways it makes more sense for one parent to stay at home for the first 4-5 years to be with the kid. Having one parent take the majority of the household running also allows the working parent to worry about home stuff less and channel energy into their career. That arrangement would also allow the sahp to upskill and work on an another degree from home.

FlexodusPrime · 2023-12-07T05:04:14+00:00

I wish I could but I’m too close to retirement. Maybe after I retire….?

flosterjenkins · 2023-12-07T05:07:12+00:00

Definitely more men want to be house husbands. I agree it's both. women aren't attracted to it, and men don't want to do it sincerely.

To say the quiet part out loud, a lot of men just cannot be good house husbands. They only pretend on this sub. Women often do not see how men see women, the truth is many males are socialized to devalue and use women. Expecting women to serve and bragging about how little they value female opinions/abilities/desires is bascially how many of them bond with each other. This will not change if they become house husbands. They will still see the women as lesser creatures and as resources to take advantage of... but now there is an extra way to take advantage of a lesser being whose humanity you don't value, the women are now also a financial resource/property that goes to work. With that mindset, few will take "househusband" work seriously and stick with it when it gets tiring, boring or demeaning.

this is why so many aspiring "househusbands" on reddit are vocal about half assing it, expecting to kick back, relax and play video games all day while the wife becomes both housemaker and wage slave -- they cannot the kick their bad habit. which is the mentality of taking advantage of women they don't value and then bragging about doing so to their bros

ClearCoast7469 · 2023-12-07T05:58:46+00:00

Most men aren’t, and most women are t. Both will build resentment

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-12-07T06:51:45+00:00

I lived through this (potential) dysfunction dynamic. My ex proclaimed that he would be happy to be a SAHD since I was making most of the household $ when we had our baby. He couldn’t competently do it so I had to take up the slack on both fronts and it was very stressful - for me.

SnooMarzipans6929 · 2023-12-07T06:53:05+00:00

I can't say at all. I'm not a statistician. I'd say it's probably 50/50 these days. But who knows.

Ok-Excitement-6643 · 2023-12-07T07:24:20+00:00

I think there are more than we realize that would prefer to be house husbands and more wives that would work FT.

Since it's not acceptable for man to be a house husband, people look down on it.

pieperson5571 · 2023-12-07T09:04:35+00:00

When we insert bookkeeping into relationships, the result is more likely net loss for all. No such thing as equal. Sorry and sad, and real.

Planthoe30 · 2023-12-07T11:03:58+00:00

I personally don’t think I could date a man who doesn’t have a full time job. I myself have a full time job. Every time I tried dating someone working part time or unemployed they didn’t do the housework or try to take any of the mental burden off me. I’m sure not all house husbands/boyfriends are made equal but I’ve had enough experience with them to know I will never enjoy that. I don’t know many women would even try as much as I did.

Sadsad0088 · 2023-12-07T12:13:39+00:00

I love my job and would loooove to earn enough and have my husband home.

I’d have done the same for my female ex, she had a shitty job.

apresonly · 2023-12-07T21:56:51+00:00

I think there are not enough women who trust that men will perform adequately as house husbands.

cromulent_weasel · 2023-12-08T19:27:43+00:00

My brother is a house husband, and it's not the bed of roses you seem to think it is.

Men think that most women wouldn't be happy long term with a husband who is a homemaker.

This is a key sticking point. Their entire life revolves around her and her career, but at the same time as soon as the kids were in school he HAD to get a job and more importantly, a job that she respected. While still continuing to be her emotional bedrock and support.

It's not too much different from the general problems and permutations of stay at home mums, just less forgiving and supportive to those men since men are also expected to provide. I think it has a bit in common with the career women who don't have children. They are transgressing societal norms too.

I would have been happy to be a stay at home dad, but it just didn't make fiscal sense given her income and career prospects were so love when we started our family.

Deadwalking2k · 2023-12-11T01:45:01+00:00

Men for sure. I think it’s actually women (including progressive ones) that won’t let men get rid of their traditional roles.

Title	Do you think there are more men willing to be house husbands or more women will to have house husbands?
Author	shadowrangerfs
Upvotes	40
Comments	231
Date	December 6, 2023 3:43 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18c6qdo/do_you_think_there_are_more_men_willing_to_be/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-there-are-more-men-willing-to-be.1240298 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240298

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