Women want trad for thee but not for me

Freevoulous · 2024-02-15T10:33:49+00:00

The main issue here is that both women AND men fail to understand that attractive traits and unattractive traits are just two sides of the same coin. You rarely, if ever, get one without the other. Consider:

Protective men are overbearing
assertive men are stubborn
confident men often act like assholes
empathetic men are often weak-willed
"strong, silent types" are often socially inept because of that
faithful men are often jealous
men who are good in bed get so by being promiscuous

You cannot have the Good without the Bad. Same applies to men looking for women. If you want a strong, willful, smart and genuinely Good woman to be your wife and the mother of your children, gotta expect her to be ornery and strong AGAINST YOU on occasion. You want a vixen who fucks like a pornstar? Well, she learned those tricks over 100 dicks, and is not going to quit them now!

You cannot date a half of a person, only the whole or none.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-02-15T11:57:18+00:00

Would you say Donald Trump is more of a traditional family man than Barack Obama? Someone’s political views don’t necessarily say anything about their family values. I don’t think it’s too shocking that most women want a guy who wants a committed relationship and also tends to vote for politicians who support things like women’s rights to healthcare and the rights of lgbtq people to marry who they want.

It’s also worth pointing out that a lot of men seem to want to have their cake and eat it too as well. For example, a tradcon virgin woman who doesn’t mind their porn habit, weed habit, and promiscuous past and also is willing to go 50/50 somehow despite not having a career.

Last but not least, I’m not sure how relevant the labels of liberal and conservative or masculine and feminine even are among people under 40 these days. I don’t identify much with either and haven’t dated anyone who has. Attaching masculinity to conservatism and femininity to liberalism is a huge oversimplification that doesn’t describe anyone I’ve dated.

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-02-15T07:53:44+00:00

Being committed to a partner is not a conservative value. That’s just being a decent person.

Also sharing evidence from The American Spectator and a single TikTok isn't exactly a watertight argument. The Spectator references a 2012 paper written for an undergraduate honours degree. They surveyed 57 people at a Christian University. Hardly representative of the general population. https://digitalcommons.olivet.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1019&context=honr_proj#:~:text=According%20to%20Turner%20%282003%29%2C%20gender%20roles%2C%20male%20effort%2C,effort%2C%20and%20couples%20reserve%20sexual%20activity%20for%20marriage.

Sessile-B-DeMille · 2024-02-15T04:03:53+00:00

I'm invested in a relationship, 27 years and counting, so I'd say I'm committed. My wife was a SAHM for a number of years, I have no qualms about being a provider. I see some postings on the sub referring to a family man as a "beta provider" and I just shake my head. I paid for dates during my dating career, I open doors, offer my companion my umbrella when it's raining. If there's something that needs to be done that's somewhat unpleasant, I do it so my wife does not have to.

I spent two and a half years finishing two rooms in our basement. I maintain the yard and do some home and car repairs. I built this playset for our daughters:

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Now, I'm working from home, and my wife still has a commute, so I now cook four nights a week and do almost all of the grocery shopping. If you asked me for a good role model, I'd say Barack Obama. I live in the U. S. and I will never vote for a Republican for state or federal office.

Not really sure why you think liberal means feminized.

soulangelic · 2024-02-15T03:53:39+00:00

Oh yes, this post is certainly made in good faith. You can tell by the last sentence.

Women do usually prefer men who are invested in a relationship, committed to them, and willing to protect them. These aren’t exclusively conservative qualities, and it’s so bizarre to portray them as such.

CraftyCooler · 2024-02-15T09:19:43+00:00

We are living in 2024, only small fraction of men can be a single breadwinner anywhere in developed countries - actually, the model of single working class breadwinner was applicable only to tiny fraction of mainly white US males in 50s/60s. It was because US had no competition so it dominated industrial goods market - Europe was still ruined by war and majority of Asia was 3rd world including Japan.
Since it is obvious that women will be working full time, they started to expect that men will take their part of responsibility about the household and raising kids. They also expect that relationship will bring added value to their lives - in both material but also emotional way. They expect their partner to be a good companion - they expect to find fun in relationship. There is plenty of research on that - bar is higher and it is in different place.
This is not contradictory to doing traditionally masculine things - i do not think if modern women have anything against men liking cars, riding motorcycle, watching football. Though it is obvious that better educated women might expect that their partner will be having some general knowledge, be interested in travel, music, books - to have expected cultural competence.
Commitment and being invested in relationship is not a conservative invention - this is just normal, majority of people expect that their partner will be trustworthy and putting effort.
Liberal women are actually getting exactly what they want - marriage rates for most educated women(which are most liberal usually) are all time high, in some countries most educated and top income women have more children than average. The problem is among lower income groups - it is a mix of cultural and economic issues. Some men have a really hard time to adjust to modern world - they have problems with education, substance abuse, they live in small towns with little job opportunities.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-02-15T06:03:34+00:00

I live a very traditional life...alone. I keep house, and have a bunch of feminine hobbies.

I just don't care to share any of that with a man. I don't care if men are trad or not. I'm all about a tidy home and fresh clean laundry folded in the dresser. I'm not about doing that for men.

solstice-sky · 2024-02-15T04:19:50+00:00

The core error here is the assumption that generous, kind, giving, provider type men have to be traditional and conservative. They don’t. My last partner was a leftist and extremely chivalrous and a gentleman.

KayRay1994 · 2024-02-15T04:37:46+00:00

It’s kinda funny how some people on this sub can’t figure out the difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity yet go on and on about how women wanting masculine men is hypocritical.

Here is a bit of a shocker, in heterosexual and most bisexual contexts, women like men - someone who is feminine is interested in someone who is masculine (and yes, despite what some might say, most women…. including feminists, are still feminine) - desiring equal rights or to not be seen as subservient or as an object or trophy while also desiring masculinity is not hypocritical… not wanting equal rights, objectifying women and treating them as subservient are not inherently masculine traits.

Now, there is indeed a conversation to be had about masculinity in men being looked down upon, as is femininity in women - but that’s a whole different conversation and too far of a tangent.

Fact is, women being into masculine men while also desiring equal rights and opportunities is not hypocritical.

Let’s also not forget the idea of consent, and this goes past sexual grounds - the idea is, a woman should have a choice on whether she would want to live a traditional life or not, and fun fact, many women are not anti traditional roles, they’re anti being forced into traditional roles. I truly believe that if left to their own devices, people as a whole will willingly turn to what feels natural to them in terms of gender and social roles, and to most it is some level of traditional - though again, one should have the choice to opt in or out of that

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-02-15T04:11:02+00:00

I want a not traditional man.

I'm looking for someone to love. Not an ATM machine or a boss. Or a sperm bank or whatever. I don't care if we split 50/50 and are enjoying each other's company. I just want to feel loved and respected. Hell I would be cool with Living apart together..

Like a companion and a partner.

Planthoe30 · 2024-02-15T07:19:28+00:00

Did you really just cite a conservative blog and tik tok? You’re better off citing Wikipedia.

metasekvoia · 2024-02-15T09:50:04+00:00

Are "responsible" and "empathetic" liberal or conservative traits?

RubyDiscus · 2024-02-15T06:08:48+00:00

I like masculinity in men. Though I would likely hate being a SAHM so my partner is going to be a SAHD if we have kids, since my income will be higher. Though he will still work casual likely.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-02-15T04:24:03+00:00

Your evidence is an article from a conservative think tank and TikTok.

All the women I know are happy with their manly, chivalrous, feminist men. I know I am…

CauliflowerElegant76 · 2024-02-15T12:50:44+00:00

I’m a conservative woman and I don’t think political affiliation has anything to do with how traditional someone is.

I’ve met liberals who were traditional before. I have a liberal coworker who has a liberal fiance. They had a child when she was in her early 20s and she has plans of becoming a SAHM. That’s a traditional dynamic.

I’ve met conservative men before who are far from traditional. I knew a guy with almost the same political beliefs as me but he was redpilled, against marriage, wanted to be non-monogamous and didn’t believe in paying on the first date! Talk about non-traditional!!

You can be liberal and traditional, you can also be conservative and non-traditional. Political beliefs and lifestyles can differ from person to person. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The liberal women who are looking for a traditional, masculine man can also find that in a liberal man. Being conservative doesn’t automatically make a guy masculine and being liberal doesn’t automatically make someone a soy boy.

Different_Cress7369 · 2024-02-15T07:56:42+00:00

My husband of 24 years is in touch with his feminine side, listens to Tay Tay with our daughters, took them to see the Barbie Movie and can braid hair like a boss.

He’s also a sapper, happy to wrangle a ton of recalcitrant bull back into its pen, and loves the footy with his mates.

Men are like onions; they have layers. He has some traditional opinions (marijuana shouldn’t be legalised) and some liberal progressive ones (UBI is a good idea).

I don’t think many people are all one way or the other.

10throwawayantsy · 2024-02-15T03:42:14+00:00

I don't really think your take is correct. My partner is a traditionally masculine man, but a feminist and in touch with his feelings. I think the women in a man's early life are very important in determining how dateable he is later on.

Anyways.

For one, why would I want a man to protect me? Be specific, protect me from what? The only thing I would be afraid of is other men lol. Being invested in a relationship is not a 'masculine' trait, it is called "liking someone." Don't really care about who opens a door. Men are really fixated on that, for some reason.

The Spectator is an extremely biased source. Tiktok is not a source.

Lenovo_Driver · 2024-02-15T04:29:12+00:00

A dumb post based on an awful article.

Using biased “studies” with literally nothing to do with each other from a biased source to draw inferences on the behaviour of hundreds of millions of people is wild… might as well read the Bible and just say everyone who doesn’t believe what I do is going to hell

BKLD12 · 2024-02-15T07:26:14+00:00

Not in my experience. Most of the women in my life want a partner, not a provider. It’s 2024, us women can provide for ourselves. I also have to chuckle when people mention “protector.” I know of absolutely no one who looks for that in a partner.

They have different tastes. Some like men with masculine features, others are into femboys. My sister dated a lot of really geeky-looking guys before she met her fiancée. Masculine in their own way I guess. My cousin never really grew out of her emo phase, and tends to be with guys who have a similar style, skinny jeans and all. Not the pinnacle of manliness, traditionally speaking. I could go on, but you get the point.

I also doubt that liberal women want conservative men. Putting people together who have wildly different values is a recipe for conflict in a relationship. Too much conflict and not enough compromise leads to failure. Even if he was the Chadliest Chad that ever Chadded, it doesn’t seem like it would be worth it. I’m sure most women want a partner who is invested in their relationship, but that isn’t an inherently conservative trait.

Long story short, women are individuals who have individual preferences. Who’d of thought?

Wattehfok · 2024-02-15T06:40:02+00:00

And terp guys want virgin tradwives who are also sexually voracious, will be smart but not in any way that threatens them, will somehow not rely on them for money but will also be SAHMs all while not having any real emotion needs of their own.

Almost like you're all dumb bitches.

EulenWatcher · 2024-02-15T04:10:02+00:00

I've scrolled one of the studies they linked and I'll need more time to go over the supplementary materials - it's pretty interesting.

My main problem here is that the descriptions of BS and non-BS men don't give enough information about them. Interestingly enough a BS descriptions gives a clearer picture of how this imaginary man would probably treat his partner (if his behavior was in-line with his beliefs), but the non-BS description doesn't provide enough information, as we're given his general beliefs about egalitarianism/gender roles but they don't give enough info about how he'd treat his partner. Basically it's easier to imagine a man who's generally affectionate and positive towards women to be affectionate and positive towards his partner, when a man is totally neutral towards women, it doesn't give a clear picture of how he'd treat his partner. ]

The other experiment gives descriptions of colleagues and it mostly reads as "one man is interested in you" and "the other man isn't interested in you". I realize they're trying to compare BS and non BS men, but I don't think they did a good job with their descriptions. A person who is trying to impress you will do various small and big favors for you, it doesn't really mean they see you as inferior.

I also want to point out is that benevolent sexism in these studies is mostly about positive special treatment towards women like opening doors or offering your coat. It isn't exactly about men fulfilling some "strong masculine" gender role.

Generally trying to subscribe any positive behavior towards women as benevolent sexism doesn't make much sense, especially in the context of dating. A man can open the door or offer his coat, because he likes this woman, not because he believes she can't open a door for herself or too stupid to wear appropriate clothes. In the same way a woman brings home-made cookies for her male colleague she wants to woo, not because she thinks he's an idiot who can't take care of himself, but because she wants to make his day better and for him to like her.

I also don't really see how wanting a monogamous committed partner contradicts liberal values or feminism. People are free to seek compatible partners, commitment or monogamy isn't something that only conservatives/tradcons can practice and want, they're pretty common for all types of couples. It isn't one-sided either - both partners provide them.

On a more personal note, my husband and I are egalitarian, we have equal decisive power and we share responsibilities. We have compatible values and views, we make and work on our plans together. I'm not really sure how me being a feminist and being in a committed exclusive marriage means that I want to have my cake and eat it too - my husband and I bring pretty much the same things to the table. Sure, he opens doors for me and helps to put on a coat - I do the same for him. Not because we're benevolently sexist, but because we like taking care of each other.

Sillysheila · 2024-02-15T04:39:54+00:00

I’m a liberal and I married a liberal.

While I could be and historically have gotten along in a friendly way with conservative men, if they were anything more than slightly conservative we probably wouldn’t be compatible values wise.

He has masculine things about him still, like liberal men aren’t necessarily twee hipsters or flaming gay dudes. He likes doing stupid dangerous stuff men do like once he picked up a jellyfish, he likes nature and will try to approach bears and kangaroos. He’s also into fitness and first person shooter games. Absolutely loves cars.

I dunno the way I would explain it is while there are some downsides to how women were put on a pedestal and viewed as wonderful, there were also some benefits. People protect women. People value women. People see women more as individual beings. We think of women as a more precious resource than men. Both for biological reasons and for sociological too.

Women are people and women are flawed people. Just like any other people we often act in our self interests. Being pampered and overly spoiled and paid for for no reason would be hard for anyone to give up. The traditional expectations are simply kept in place even if wildly hypocritical, because they benefit women in a real way.

Safinated · 2024-02-15T16:15:10+00:00

I don’t want my partner to earn all the money, no. That’s a lot of stress

And most women dont because of dependency

noafrochamplusamurai · 2024-02-15T03:42:11+00:00

januaryphilosopher · 2024-02-15T11:16:01+00:00

You're mixing up political views and personal behaviour. These women who support left parties could be very "trad" and indeed left parties often offer ways support this through for example child benefit programmes that can help mums who want to stay at home. Someone who wants to be provided for even when they're low income so can expect a low income partner isn't going to be economically conservative if they know what's good for them. You haven't explained how you think men are "feminised" in any way.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2024-02-15T08:21:22+00:00

Conservatives want a binding contract that all men and women follow to make their lives easier and progressives want individualized contracts between consenting people that make their lives more free, meaningful and personalized.

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Mean_Investigator491 · 2024-02-15T13:54:52+00:00

Maybe don’t trust things you read in the American Spectator?

DeJuanBallard · 2024-02-15T17:04:00+00:00

You misunderstood the word conservative.

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-02-15T05:24:04+00:00

women prefer a man who is invested in a relationship, committed to them, and willing to provide and protect them. Women also want men who are chivalrous — who pay for dates and open doors for them.

As a woman I absolutely want this.

I don't know if this is some weird "wanting your cake and eating it too" type shit; or maybe "trad for thee but not for me", or just that women legitimately don't know what they want.

Feminists have been feminizing men (or trying to feminize men) for as long as they've existed, and then feminist aligning women look at the results and go "ew!"

What part of what you described women wanting is feminine? How are those not masculine traits?

How is wanting that "having your cake and eating it too?"

WanabeInflatable · 2024-02-15T09:12:35+00:00

As a man, I want a woman that understands equality is bidirectional.

And to filter out this scum (I'm a feminist, but you pay) - just tell them in advance that bill will be split. All the leeching gals would rage and block you. Those who are left are probably capable of partner-type relationships

Egoistchan · 2024-02-15T05:09:36+00:00

Most research studies and polls are utter horseshit.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-02-15T09:00:28+00:00

I don't know if this is some weird "wanting your cake and eating it too" type shit; or maybe "trad for thee but not for me", or just that women legitimately don't know what they want.

Everyone ideally wants a relationship that maximizes their own net benefits.

The kind of relationship these women want - "trad for thee, liberation for me" - is precisely the kind of arrangement that maximizes a woman's net benefit from a relationship (under current social norms/institutional arrangements).

ICU8a8 · 2024-02-15T14:23:39+00:00

Many pick and choose which traditions they like.

Expensive engagement ring? Now that’s a tradition to love and support.

Taking a husband’s last name? Ew! You are such a Neanderthal to ask me to do that!

Diligent_Bookkeeper7 · 2024-02-15T05:38:18+00:00

My wife and I are a blend of traditional and modern. Before getting married, we discussed divorce was a ‘only when necessary, last resort option.’ She’s threatened divorce for startling low infringements where as I never considered it for my irks between us. I now no longer am trying to get her to stay at home and putting the full financial responsibility on my self.

I love her, and I’ve found she loves me, but I’m weary of ever trusting her like that again. Too many mommy blogs and other outside influences influence her.

EdwardTheeMasterful · 2024-02-15T05:24:07+00:00

Women want different things during their different phases. But women are also well known hypocrites. They purposely wait for the man to ask them out so it can feel like the onus is on him to treat them and pay the entire tab. If the man admits he was waiting on her to ask him out the woman no doubt will feel some type of negative way about him now and that he’s less than a man than she thought originally. But won’t say it directly unless to attempt to hurt his ego because she’s been angered.

Women are always judging men on what they think a REAL man is. The minute you tell them what a REAL woman is and does that obviously doesn’t align with their past, present or future behavior and choices. They’ll blow smoke 💨 out their nostrils like a bull with how sexist you speak. Women according to society are always acceptable and fine how they are and have little to no flaws and if some are discovered they are not important red flags.

🚩 Men on the other hand can never be man enough for most women unless he’s a specific height, specific shape, and earns a specific amount or above. A clue 🕵️‍♂️ they all begin with 6. So 666 😈 6ft tall, 6 pack abs and 6 figures plus. You have these and usually you’re considered a guy, doing what he should.

itm4l2000 · 2024-02-15T05:34:59+00:00

Modern men either conservative or liberal shouldn't do love. Well they can but there is one critical element that you should consider.

She is either your financial equivalent or not.

In the event of a separation family courts don't divide the "deep love" that women claim they have for someone special.

The court divide assets.

Also you should be building a financial base in a committee relationship. Last thing you want is a woman who's not your financial equivalent and gets knocked up 1 or 2 years later. You will get your time.and resources extracted for it with, mounting bills and a dead bedroom.

In such a scenario, you would barely even know the woman enough to determine her red flags that breach your tolerance level.

There are reasons why women over thirty are undesirable.

Be careful of women who are the last in the friend groups to get into a committed relationship because highly likely she feels pressured and settling for you.

Sure men should take that statement at face value before your consider her your financial equivalent. Don't fall for certain women who love bombing tactics.

PiastriPs3 · 2024-02-15T04:14:01+00:00

Women want a man who's a jack of all trades, master of none when it comes to personality traits. They want someone who's masculine at the right time, and feminine or sensitive at the right time. It's take time for men to develop this multiplicity of traits that's suited for relationships with the average egalitarian^lite, Patriarchy^lite woman, but when they do manage to build themselves to this ideal, they become valued partners.

moosemc · 2024-02-15T05:33:34+00:00

Tops and bottoms.

Not complicated.

DarayRaven · 2024-02-15T04:25:29+00:00

or just that women legitimately don't know what they want.

There it is my friend, you've figured the secret of the universe

Defundisraelnow · 2024-02-15T16:28:33+00:00

Liberal women can't find liberal men who are masculine...at all. Dating a liberal man is like being with another woman who has all the worst toxic feminine stereotypes. On the other hand conservative men often have the worst toxic masculine stereotypes.

Centrists all day baby!

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-02-15T07:39:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

UVIV · 2024-02-15T11:03:47+00:00

God damn selfish bitches.

There I said it.

They are SELFISH!

“Rules for thee but not for me!”

S E L F I S H!

Retrospring · 2024-02-15T12:28:57+00:00

Women should be listened to in the same way that children are listened to.

Women don't have a history of practicing critical thinking

If, say, ghengis khan said to do x, you do x. If he says 1+1 = 7, then you nod your head and agree. In order to have a differing opinion for most of human history, you had to have had the ability to fight, first, before you could truly have opinions of your own. Women never really had the ability to fight men, so they never had experience or a history of having independent thought.

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flipsidetroll · 2024-02-15T16:42:16+00:00

Are all women feminists, nimrod? Are all pills red? Are all men retards who can’t think wider than the internet? The answer to all these questions is no. There is your answer.

The question should be….. should men who only listen to other men be ignored? Should men who believe everything men show them on the internet be ignored? Should men who believe men who wear wigs and makeup be ignored? The answer to all these questions is yes.

Shoot. I broke my own rule because I didn’t ignore. Oh well. We all make mistakes and learn. I wonder if you can.

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-02-15T18:50:51+00:00

Women want men in the middle. Have a bit of traditional values and a bit of progressive values. Not too much on either side.

RandomAttackHelpMe · 2024-02-15T19:10:31+00:00

Oh thank you. This is another thing I've been hoping someone brings up.

What do I mean?

Well, this is indicative of a few things.

First off, this may admittedly sound like an odd take, but I think this is in it's own way, a good thing. What am I saying with that?

Things are balancing out. After how long now to sum it all up quickly, people bring outside totally non-related shit into their own personal lives, and I can get into specific examples if you'd like, basically first off the top of my head, well weather you want to go with the 666 standard for men, or they must this ideologically correct and believe this and that etc, know what I mean......

Looks like people are starting to realize that shit ain't working.

Why are so people so scared shitless of traditionalism? I don't and never really did, buy into this whole if we go back to the 1950s thing, everything will be all right. My question to that is, if we do "go back to the 1950s", then what? What will you do? What will have that attempted to fix or solve?

All traditionalism means to me is, loyalty, trust, two way streets, mutual appreciation, and hey, maybe don't fuck me or anyone else over, although do tell people when they need to fuck off/go fuck themselves, etc.

We can get into why many people struggle with that, but I think that's an idea most people tend to agree with or try to adhere too.

Now the not so much dark side, but the what's really going on/where is this coming from side?

So I've seen this thing of these chicks or certain chicks all of a sudden, going on about traditionalism all of a sudden for a while now. One main one was ever watch whatever?, he/they have their moments I must say but it can be a tad repetitive.

These "OF 304s", are going on about traditionalism all of a sudden. Feel free to use any other similar examples. Like what is this uptick in these chicks now all of a sudden appreciating traditionalism?

Well, it's a few things. One is realizing this liberal shit they've been fed ain't working. I'm not going to do 90 million examples all at once of that, but realizing they can't find commitment etc, Always only from "high value men" of course, and family etc., just, it's not happening for them. Now before everyone goes all in one "she's a 304 for the streets", or "SIMP! WHITE KNIGHT!!!!!", well yeah it's all well and good this is all being made aware, but how in the hell are you going to say to someone they can't want that or do that? Tell me please. You know their are pornstarts who have gotten married. How are you going to stop that?

The other side to this is well, as Newton said, for every action, there is an opposite or equal reaction. What do I mean? Well, in other words, the pendulum can and does swing the other way.

So, this whole redpill thing took off yes? And one of the things that has come from or about that is, these dudes going on about the lack of traditionalism, all while having main chicks and side chicks to smash, yeah that whole debate, but not going there.

So these chicks are going hey waitaminute. And they are turn well, weaponizing this traditionalism thing in that regard. Point is, don't take nothing for granted or assuming it can't backfire on you in some way.

apresonly · 2024-02-15T20:40:36+00:00

all i see is women saying they automatically swipe left on conservative men so much so that conservative men now put "moderate" as their political leaning or don't put anything.

if you are talking about paying for dates, not politics then it is a different answer.

women want men to put in some kind of effort to show interest, or its not worth going out with him (which is a fine metric for men to use as well)
men are socialized to be uncomfortable showing affection through words or romantic gestures
men pretty much only show affection through money

BlueMountainDace · 2024-02-15T20:45:50+00:00

Do you know any liberal men in relationships? What you described that Liberal Women want is literally what every man I know does - whether they're liberal or conservative.

Aside from the last line about paying for dates, you just described any man who is interested in a long-term committed relationship.

Obvious-Produce2720 · 2024-02-16T02:00:44+00:00

I am personally neither a red or blue pill woman, some of my way more blue pill friends think I’m red, and my red pill friends think I am blue. I am very much more in the middle. So I would put out a few ideas. As woman I have married a more traditional man in many aspects but not all. Growing up, my grandfather had a secret family and left his family for his second family. My father watched his mother struggle to provide for the 3 kids she had with this man, she worked as a migrant field worker to provide and her parents helped. This taught my father that women as much as men need to have a means to provide. My father had 4 daughters, he pushed each and ever one of us to always be able to provide for the possibility of the what could happen. Interesting enough this also happened in my moms family but a generation back, were my grandmother watched my great grandmother struggle as a woman with no education living at a time of no social services raising my grandmother and grand aunt. So coming from a family with this has happened. My family pushed you could be a “traditional wife/mother” but you must always have a back up, in my case a career. I personally got married young, I mean young (20f, husband 21m). I married a man who is traditional, at this time he is paying the bills as I find a job to finally build my career. My husband takes care of the things I physically can’t do, but interesting enough my husband has known my desire for education, currently in my masters and I want my PHD. I do not mind having kids and he and I have agreed to take turns in being home with our children when that times comes. My husband was raised with a stay home mom/wife and has stated he doesn’t mind that set up but doesn’t want the pressure that has on him career wise/financially as he watched his dad work long long hrs to provide for the family. I think there is too much of a focus on trad wife/moms and trad husbands/fathers, compared to liberal wife/moms and liberal husbands/fathers. If people were more honest, I mean brutally honest, there would be a healthier balance. My husband paid for the dates because as the woman I am a prize who is willing to pull the load. My husband didn’t want someone who expected to be home raising kids. My husband likes that I do not pressure him into that. I am much more supportive of him having an active role and taking time from work to be present parent. A lot of trad women aren’t interested in that. Like the flip of the coin yes a lot of women are interested in more traditional qualities a more traditional man would have, but there are downsides to an overall traditional relationship in the eyes of a more liberal woman. I myself was very upfront, I am open and willing to have kids, I do not personally desire being a stay at home parent, (I and husband was raised religious, and we still are religious), I am okay if my husband makes more money then me cause I want someone who is supportive in me getting my higher education (PHD). My husband and I met at a religious college and a lot the girls wanted men to be provided and take care of everything. There was plenty of dates that I would go grocery shopping and cook, as I can be traditional in my own ways, I wanted him to see I can cook, my poor husband now has gained weight from my food and hates it, hahaha. So my point is, i think individuals as a whole need to just be honest of their values, demonstrate some level of flexibility and fluidness and people will find a partner who aligns with them. Keep in mind feminism isn’t the issue, the real issue is more modern feminism ideology has shifted into “women hate men and anything masculine.” That’s what I think is a real problem and is bleeding into dating. Feminism allowed freedom for both genders, my husband hopes at some point to be a streamer for body building content and gaming. I am very supportive of this and it can be done if I am the one who maintains the more 9 to 5 career. If feminism didn’t exist, my husband would stuck forever in his white collar job hating his life and I would hate mine if i was forced to be at home all day with kids.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-02-16T02:06:05+00:00

So because liberal women want men who remain committed to them and delete their dating apps once they are coupled, this means they want conservative men?? That‘s what the article said. I’m guessing you didn’t even read it. What an absolutely idiotic article. 😂😂

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-02-16T04:27:22+00:00

LMAO being a nice committed person is "conservative"

Also doesnt really pan out for me...all the liberal women I know don't want a strong provider and do not want their husband to significantly outearn them.

themoderation · 2024-02-16T18:53:34+00:00

I don’t know a single liberal woman who would date someone who votes red. Political affiliation is a great indicator of whether or not you share common values, which is essential to a successful relationship. I don’t know why you think political orientation has anything to do with one’s level of masculinity. Maybe the toxic elements of masculinity are more prevalent in conservative men, but you’re confused if that’s what you think those are the aspects of masculinity straight women are attracted to.

Title	Women want trad for thee but not for me
Author	SlowEffective8146
Upvotes	132
Comments	359
Date	February 15, 2024 3:33 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ar65dy/women_want_trad_for_thee_but_not_for_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-want-trad-for-thee-but-not-for-me.1245455 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245455

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