How do you feel about the fact that women are encouraged to do things in relationships that men aren't?

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-03-08T00:36:26+00:00

I instantly cut women off when they make it a little too obvious other guys are in the picture. I prefer monogamy, and I expect the women I'm dating to prefer it too.

RevealingPanda · 2024-03-08T00:36:44+00:00

Hahahha fuck, that comment is actually red pill theory to the core, called "spinning plates" and it's for the same exact reason that person said.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-03-08T01:25:44+00:00

2XC is in large part, just TRP/MGTOW for women.

Even the advice in the OP is just spinning plates, but for women. Don't get attached, and be ready to drop a person instantly. Everyone is disposable and even encouraged to be disposed of.

I've seen a lot of men, even irl, talk about having multiple women on the go. To me, it always looked soulless. As though your relationship was a job interview and you were looking for an employee when they dated thay way. And a way to make sure you never got hurt or minimise the potential for hurt.

Can't get hurt if you never care or get invested in a person in the first place.

Personally, if I were engaging with someone who I found out was treating me that way, I'd be grossed out and just cut contact. We're clearly people of entirely different values and would never work with one another. It would immediately kill any and all attraction I had towards the person. One at a time, or not at all.

Safinated · 2024-03-08T00:33:37+00:00

I’m not doing that; that’s way too much effort

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-08T03:20:49+00:00

? Date people with the same or close dating values as you. I think dating is quite complicated. For me, I don't want to be fucking multiple people at the same time or to be dating someone who is going on dates with me, but fucking someone else. Dating around is fine with me, but fucking around isn't. I date guys who match that.

I assume this woman dates men who match that. And look, I think they're going to make each other miserable, but that's cool so long as they're cool with that.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-08T04:54:50+00:00

No one implied men have to be ok with that.

These women are free to do whatever. You're free to veto.

Go to dating subs, men also freely date multiple women.

If you don't like women that date multiple men, ignore them.

harmonica2 · 2024-03-08T00:51:13+00:00

To the OP, I thought guys do this quite often where they will have several woman on the go, while looking for the red flags, the exact same way, unless I am wrong?

obviousredflag · 2024-03-08T01:34:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Fantastic-Age-5598 · 2024-03-08T01:15:45+00:00

I think they meant to stay open and date different men(not sex or relationships) to see who is the most compatible one you end up with. It's not about having a polygamous thing going on or anything like that. Because if you date only one MAN, by the 2nd or 3rd date(or latter) he may end up being crazy or ghosting you or moving away or something that'll stop all contacts together. So it's smart to have dating options til you find the right one.

ta06012022 · 2024-03-08T05:09:35+00:00

So yeah, men encourage men to do the same. That's the whole "spinning plates" thing that the red pill preaches.

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-03-08T16:01:09+00:00

Monogamy should always be expected, but sadly we live in a time of rampant narcissism and immediate gratification

OffTheRedSand · 2024-03-08T01:58:46+00:00

I feel like the title should be reversed. “Why do women get shunned for doing stuff men have been doing for ages?” What she’s describing is something red pill advertise and men who are popular do anyways. She didn’t invent anything new she’s just telling women to do something men have been doing before.

2024-03-08T00:37:24+00:00

I really don’t get this question, why does it matter to you what expectations other people have for other people? You decide what you’re okay with not anybody else.

Just_Natural_9027 · 2024-03-08T00:35:47+00:00

How is this specific to women? You can do the same thing as a man if you want?

Higher_Standard548 · 2024-03-08T00:32:49+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tadL · 2024-03-08T10:22:38+00:00

So they are fine with multiple partners. So if the logic gets flipped they accept to be side Chicks. Well.

Overall that's just bad for children.

But let mother nature just work their magic. Once they hit the age they will complain and for some reason it will be our fault too.

wtknight · 2024-03-08T14:29:32+00:00

Men are encouraged to do these things by other men. The problem is that men listen to women too much and women don’t care what men say. This is because, in heterosexual relationships, women in general are in much higher demand for sexual relationships than men are

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-03-08T01:43:24+00:00

men do encourage men to do those things

what combination of words could stop you all from looking to women for advice and approval?

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-03-08T00:58:21+00:00

Well you know.. maybe it's a good idea to insist on having that exclusivity conversation if exclusivity is important to you?

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-08T01:21:40+00:00

I mean this is the exact same advice I'd give men. Don't see what the problem is.

2024-03-08T07:10:05+00:00

I mean, you're reading it in 2xc. Of course it would be received positively. My friends regularly tell me to fuck as many women as possible. Doesn't mean I'm going to listen to them.

I don't think the implication is that men are supposed to be ok with this. I think the implication is that men already do this and women should just join them in the game that they already play.

But, as far as I'm aware, most people aren't dating multiple people. Just dating two people is stressful as hell. I couldn't imagine dating two people and dealing with an FwB. I have my right hand and enough time for one person. That's more than enough.

bifewova234 · 2024-03-08T02:55:46+00:00

What are you talking about? Player, stud... these words have positive connotations and men who do that are admired by many. There is a lot of social encouragement.

marcusstanchuck · 2024-03-08T05:38:00+00:00

The culture narrative has been decidedly corporate/woke/neoliberal/feminist where any moderate question or critique of women is heavily downvoted. Likewise any praise of men or awareness of mens issues is instantly flagged as MRA/alt right/regressive.

Thus we see headlines like "7 reasons why you should spin plates when dating garbage men" and they go unchallenged. Imagine "7 reasons why you should spin plates when dating garbage women" in the media...it would be a bloodbath.

Suffice it to say these double standards exist because these gynocentric narratives haven't been challenged or healthily checked in 15 years. Thankfully there seems to be a correction as people are waking up to how insane the far left/woke ideology had become.

thetruthishere_ · 2024-03-08T05:50:35+00:00

I personally dont have the time to date multiple men nor want to.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-03-08T06:23:59+00:00

Your first mistake was ever going to 2XC. As much as they claim not to hate men, their comments tell a different tale. Very interesting why they haven't been banned... very interesting. I wonder why?...LOL

2024-03-08T16:32:28+00:00

I just expect everyone lives like that. So I live like that even harder. You’re busy tonight? Good. I got some tings I’ve been meaning to see.

izoldetales · 2024-03-08T16:33:51+00:00

The current culture is vendictif towards men especially young ones. But also so forgiven towards women since now women are encouraged to display their in-group bias . A lion maybe a predator but an abandoned baby lion who is soft would be hunted even by herbivores .

It's like millions of people are made suppressing the male sexual behaviours or anything that may harm women into their main responsibility. But also try to build the most sexualized culture that doesn't include the sexualistion of women . Gay men are always in sexual roles in movies . Lesbians on the other hands are always used as a victim of a misunderstanding and how they struggle with differentiating the "nice "nature of women and their sexual orientation , It's like lesbians are the 2nd male lead that everyone root for . Only strong and independent non feminine to represent straight women but also every well written straight male characters is sending a " TOXIC" message to young girls that only men can be strong . I can list more feminine male characters than female characters in the last 10 years. Every media is full of attractive men but any complain from men about the lack of attractive women in media is automatically seen as a cause of porn and high standards ( Sorry but I don't think there is a single young attractive actress in Hollywood compared to the past generation) .

Women are using everything to make modern men life miserable and still play the victim . I think It's the definition of Mechiavillinism and women aren't even in post of power

Conclusion : Women aren't the good people we taught.

BirdLawOnly · 2024-03-08T03:19:14+00:00

Just ONE comment with upvotes that you have no idea where they came from has your tighty whities in a twist? The male really is the more emotional one.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-03-08T01:06:39+00:00

This is absolutely the advice I give women. If you think lonely men have oneitis - have you ever met your average woman? Most women give 100% of their time and attention to the first guy who pays attention to them. Dating around is a societal outlier. But dating shouldn’t work that way imo. How do you vet people when you constantly try to fit a square peg into a round hole? Just because the men here haven’t experienced a woman’s laser focused desire (or experienced it with a woman they deemed unworthy) doesn’t mean it isn’t the societal norm. Most women are not having a ton of sex. Most women aren’t slutty. And that’s not just anecdotal. Most women go from monogamous relationship to monogamous relationship and aren’t the primary heartbreaker. Go to any female spaces complaining about dating. Some women get “the ick” over something you deem petty - but I have yet to meet any that are that petty. Unless they were super hot or influencers. And those girls aren’t your lane hun.

However I strongly disagree there is any double standard. Most of the women I know think they’re exclusively dating someone, meanwhile he claims “it isn’t that serious.” It’s discussed in this sub quite often. This isn’t just “Chad,” it’s your typical, average fuck boy, boy next door, or any man who has more than one girl interested with him. It’s normal for a guy to be with multiple women before settling down in his 30s. Women are still harshly judged for this type of behavior, while men aren’t. Which is why the men here think women don’t experience societal shame surrounding it - they don’t experience it. But they see women fighting for fewer societal standards surrounding women and their prescribed roles (ex: don’t slut shame) and think “that’s it. Women aren’t shamed because some women have an OF.” But sex workers and sluts are very harshly judged, even in most liberal areas. Not seeing it from your bedroom at home, in your hateful, male-centered online communities, does not mean it isn’t happening or doesn’t exist. Especially when you look at how okay it is to call women “used up, sluts, whores” or “they’re riding the cock carousel.” It’s pretty normal to shame women for doing exactly what every man here wishes he was doing.

And before you go off on some weird “women bad” tangent - men should also date this way. Men should be dating as many women as you can handle. Have higher standards for yourself. Get the ick. Leave. Vet for an appropriate match. Not the first girl who pays you attention.

The number of men on subs dedicated to “life after TRP” who talk about how they worked on themselves, found a joyful life, put less pressure on finding someone, got dates and didn’t continue seeing someone he wasn’t super into, or wasn’t into him, (had standards for himself,) that’s when women respected him. That’s when women dated him with intention. You recognize what you have to offer the world. You’re not a doormat, but you’re kind and open to finding love where it pops up. And if you don’t, you live a cool life regardless. If you’re still stuck in the hate vortex, I urge you to talk to men who used to be red pill. Men who have found life after their hateful rhetoric had drained them of everything they had and they had to learn how to rebuild what was left. Those men have much more to offer than any grifter cherry picking “data” to make you more angry and more hateful. Stop the internet self harm. Go enjoy your life. You’ll wake up at 65 one day, and you won’t be able to go back. Do you want to wake up at 65 and realize you wasted your life being angry and hateful?

treadmarks · 2024-03-08T04:13:53+00:00

"Unless you are officially exclusive, date several men at once and have a FWB you trust.

This is why women are all stuck in situationships with no commitment. Five guys is a fast food chain not a dating strategy. If you're getting affection from multiple guys at once none of them will feel special to you and you'll never fall in love.

snowyjenna · 2024-03-08T10:40:03+00:00

I never understood Western stages of dating because what does it mean when you date but are not exclusive? Isn't that just friends with benefits? Where I am dating = relationship. You have something that could be described as "courting" in English, but it's more like being platonic/friends, and when you kiss, now you're in a relationship.

And idk about women being encouraged to do that. Is it only crazy people on 2X or also irl? I guess if it exists on 2X, it also exists irl. There are also RP men who encourage other men to date as many women as possible. I wouldn't tolerate it either way if you want a serious relationship.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-08T14:23:44+00:00

If I even got an inkling that she was talking to another guy while trying to date me, I'd be completely non-invested emotionally. I'd still try to fuck but then I'd dip after. All she is doing is showing me that she isn't taking me seriously, so why would I take her seriously?

Then women want to go online like "men are emotionally unavailable" lmfao

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-03-08T00:37:13+00:00

Wait. I’m a man, I thought everyone dated like this? Who tf dates one person at a time outside of a relationship?

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-03-08T05:05:50+00:00

The implication is that men are supposed to be okay with this - dating a woman who has multiple other dating partners

No, the implication is that there are sad desperate men with no feeling of self-worth that will be okay with it. Frankly such men deserve to have such women. Trash attracts trash.

xKalisto · 2024-03-08T06:23:44+00:00

Unless you are officially exclusive

This seems to be pretty critical part of that sentence. Like until you are exclusive then you are not exclusive.

Men get shamed for spinning plates when they are exclusive.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-03-08T09:10:21+00:00

That's just 2XC. Going there for good relationship advice is like expecting Hanukah party at Gestapo.

Alienziscoming · 2024-03-08T10:13:13+00:00

women are not expected to be okay with dating a man who has multiple other dating partners and an FWB.

This is a pretty big generalization. Some people are fine dating people who are dating others, some people are not. You just have to figure out what you're okay with and communicate that to the people or person you're dating.

PancakeFlinger · 2024-03-08T11:11:43+00:00

even though women are not expected to be okay with dating a man who has multiple other dating partners and an FWB.

I dunno brodie, most of the women I know and have dated presumed I was seeing and sleeping with other people and were ok with it until we had a clear conversation about what was going on.

In one of my past relationships I even dated a girl fairly soon after a big break up for me and I liked her enough that I wanted to see her exclusively but told her I felt that it put me in a weird spot to be locked down so soon after ending something long term, she understood and said she was ok with me seeing other people but wouldn't do so herself. I didn't see anyone else in the end.

Basically I'm not really sure that the premise you're basing this post on is actually true, my experience shows the opposite. Plus, we're on reddit, there's lots of toxic advice written by internet dweebs for everyone, 80 upvotes? That's nothing.

TheDerInDisorder · 2024-03-08T14:05:59+00:00

Have you listened to hip hop music? How much encouragement does a guy need to sleep around?

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-03-08T14:38:50+00:00

Redpill says the exact same thing. Tbh, as long as you are open and honest, I think it’s an ethical position. Not for me, but whatever. Just don’t lie.

2024-03-08T14:59:54+00:00

So the bolder quote is honestly just a modernized version of how dating worked in the 40s & 50s. This is how my grandparents dated. If you really liked someone you had to “pin” them otherwise she was by all accounts free to let some other dude buy her a milkshake at the sock hop lmao. In the interim (teenagers were still teenagers) many girls were hooking up with their potential suitors.

Regardless if you want to be exclusive with someone say so and live with the response. If you haven’t clearly communicated that you desire an exclusive monogamous relationship with someone tbh it’s weird to get upset (for all they know you also are dating around).

izoldetales · 2024-03-08T16:47:44+00:00

Why are OP getting hate, there is litteraly men being banned for saying the same thing while women are now even encouraged to say saw . Women love to bring the red pill but most of it main representatives are banned . ( Andrew tates, fresh and fit ....) while bitches who gave the same advices to young women are getting clouts.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-08T18:20:35+00:00

You are not "supposed to be okay" with anything. And you know it. You just fear that there will be no women left for you with a value set that matches yours. What the fuck do you care about if the women you don't want to date have a dating life you don't vibe with?

And in case you want to say that no man would be fine with this dating lifestyle, then you are clearly wrong. I am dating several women at once and i expect them to do the same if they want to.

The really critical part in your quote is "depending on one guy for romance/sex". You should rather investigate why you seem so dependent on having sex and romance, that you willingly get that from a person that is bad for you.

i.e. since women, in general, wouldn't tolerate dating a man who has an FWB and is also dating several other women, men shouldn't be expected to tolerate the same behavior from women?

It's fine if not all women tolerate this. Enough women do, that the few men who want and can date several women and have an FWB, will find those women.

BoogersAndSugar · 2024-03-09T19:30:31+00:00

Not gonna pay for what the FWB guy is getting for free lol.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2024-03-08T02:25:36+00:00

Multi-dating rocks and people who expect exclusivity without a conversation are weenies. Dating/hooking up with multiple people at once is a more efficient way to find a good match. I'm not sexist about this and what's more I don't think this is actually a common double standard. Even the post you're citing doesn't say anything negative about men doing the same thing.

Actually, I've seen people justify this behavior for men specifically because they "need sex more" or whatever. Bullshit. That's not a mainstream POV though.

Mostly I've seen people raging against this behavior in a gender-neutral way because they don't like it. If they only date one gender they bitch about that one more, for obvious reasons -- but that isn't the same as having a double standard.

I think you just made up a problem to get mad at.

lvoncreek · 2024-03-08T07:37:38+00:00

Jesus fucking Christ dude you cannot be serious. This post is the definition of confirmation bias.

claratheresa · 2024-03-08T15:17:15+00:00

I have seen incel posts arguing in favor of decriminalizing rape that have had more upvotes than that

Higher_Standard548 · 2024-03-08T01:29:51+00:00

The women that frequent 2XC are damaged goods, they ll accuse you of mysoginy or being hitler just because you re a man, if you re a good man they wont stop until you re emotionally bankrupt, they love to punish innocent men for the action of evil ones because they cant do the same to the evil ones, they re annoyed by a man's happiness, if you dont like that behavior just go for a woman who doesnt engages into it neither and tell the 2xc pain in the bum to go shove a cactus up their *** if they have a problem.

THE MOST IRONIC PART OF IT ALL is that they are shitless scared of the redpill boogeyman not being aware that is exactly women like them the ones who push a lot of men to the redpill in first place with behaviors like those. Because do you think it is redpillers the ones who fall for that the most? huge rubbish, it is always relationship minded innocent guys the ones who get preyed the most by these toxic women, why? cuz relationship minded guys tend to be more tolerant and patient and in most cases unawere of whats happening behind closed doors while redpillers will just straight leave if they dont get what they want.

Just imagine a dude who is not playing games and being honest, women like 2xc ones will still play him on the side and if he says something about they ll accuse him of being a mysoginist, controlling, abusive, an incel, pretending to be nice, whatever chronically online take comes to their mind, ironically pushing him to the redpill or radicalizing him, if i were you i would avoid them like the plague for your own well being. Let the fuckboys and actual mysoginist deal with their bullshit.

Queasy_Bit952 · 2024-03-08T02:57:21+00:00

I'm not gonna check that source, but this isn't exactly crazy advice or exclusive to women for the early stages of dating. Not putting all your hopes on one person the first date is normal, having options is normal. That changes as the relationship goes longer, but if you have been dating someone for some time with the understanding it wasn't serious or exclusive then you should be to point where you can have that conversation about changing the relationship ship to something more serious.

People who only want to date exclusively still exist, even women. If you're not comfortable with anything but exclusive then you do you, but stop pretending that dating around is some new thing only women do. For a lot of people it's normal.

MongoBobalossus · 2024-03-08T00:47:47+00:00

The key words are “officially exclusive”, and if y’all aren’t, you should be doing the same thing 🤷‍♂️

relish5k · 2024-03-08T00:46:52+00:00

Isn’t the assumption that everyone who is dating is dating multiple people until they are exclusive?

I think the FWB component is weird and unadvisable but yeah, don’t put your eggs in one basket early on.

And it’s fine as long as everyone you are dating is looking for the same thing as you - whether that be a good time or something more serious. What’s morally icky is when you want something out of that person (sex, resources) and are taking advantage of their interest in you to get it without reciprocating the interest.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-08T02:38:48+00:00

in what world is this not okay? long as you’re not exclusive you can do anything you want, an many people, of both genders are okay with it. Frankly it sounds like you just wanna be upvoted and praised for having multiple prospects and fwbs lol

2024-03-08T06:41:08+00:00

If I'm seeing a woman, even in the early stages of the relationship and she's dating other men or worse has an fwb because she's that addicted to sex ? I'm definitely not going to take her seriously. She'll be nothing but an fwb for me.

AntiHypergamist · 2024-03-08T10:00:12+00:00

Only date virgins. Stop giving trashy women and feminists attention and free dinners.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-03-08T14:01:36+00:00

I think this is to prevent getting oneitis. It's to keep your options open until a man locks it down or expressed that they want a relationship or want to take things seriously. A lot of times with dating we get so caught up with the idea of a guy and attach to that idea we have and it can end up unrealistic. Like he's a fuckboy, he's actually not taking you seriously and wasting your time, or you're just not that into him. We get our feelings hurt or really disappointed. So it gives you control in dating to say okay guy A is just trying to have a situationship and skirts around commitment talks. This guy is not it. Cut him off. This guy has some glaring red flags it's easier to spot because you don't have tunnel vision and rose tinted glasses. So it's easier to say hey this isn't going to work. It gives you the authority to pick and choose better and be more practical about dating.

You are single so you are allowed to be single. Does it mean you openly let the guys know they are 1 of many. No that's just as cringe as guys talking about being "high value" and "being a high value man" it stinks of insecurity. It's not a competition with men it's picking and choosing someone objectively good for you and who's values and intentions are aligned with yours.

But it allows you to not attach and look at suitors objectively without the feelings and butterflies and emotions. Just who they are without anything attached to it. And let's you get to know them. A lot of the time it doesn't involve sex you can date a lot of people and NOT have sex with them. And it's a way to vet men better and take your time. Let them show you who they are without your ideas and expectations put on them. It takes the pressure off for it to absolutely work when it doesn't because you don't have tunnel vision.

Defundisraelnow · 2024-03-08T16:06:19+00:00

Men do the exact same thing. I don't think women care. It's normal.

no_usernameeeeeee · 2024-03-08T16:50:49+00:00

It honestly sounds to me like women are just encouraged to do what men have always done. Plus this advice is like common TRP advice for men, date multiple, don’t give the other power, etc… It’s all the same thing.

Neither party likes when the other does all of that.. But they kind of encourage their own group to do so.

With that being said, i think a lot of men and women also aren’t like this and won’t follow this advice. I personally would never, i don’t have the energy or any interest in entertaining multiple men. And i think there are men out there who also think this way about women. Just because there’s certain trends online doesn’t mean the gender as a whole believes in it or encourages it.

I think you’re speaking of women who kind of act/think like TRP specifically.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-08T01:09:58+00:00

Nobody said men had to be okay with their partner dating others. The post is saying to be very careful in who you choose to date unless you are dating multiple people. Nobody has to be okay with it in this view.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-03-08T07:27:20+00:00

This is just hookup culture in a nutshell. Women create it, then complain about it, yet still keep on doing it. This world sucks... LOL

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-03-08T10:05:41+00:00

I'm totally fine with this because I would never take a woman like this seriously. This is what caused my last fwb situationship to explode.

We agreed to see other people and that our relationship was purely sexual. Eventually, she started calling me every day and wanting to hang out. When she discovered the other girl I was talking to — not even fucking — she became incredibly jealous. The final straw was her pushing to meet my parents. We were having a cookout and she wanted to attend. I'm like... bitch are you crazy? I would never introduce a FWB to my parents. She tries to rationalize it like this is totally normal behavior. Who tf introduces their fuck buddy to their family? Not me.

We argue, and she admits to falling for me. Well, that's too fucking bad because we'll only ever be FWB. I tell her this in a less than kind way and she blocks + ghosts me. Women love to play this game until it backfires.

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Ok-Supermarket-6747 · 2024-03-08T07:38:29+00:00

like they should get on their knees for dinner and every day is fish friday

don’t pay attention to me I’m only responding to post titles now

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-03-08T08:33:38+00:00

I think it's sad that they see it as a power struggle. I wouldn't want to be involved with someone like that.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-03-08T08:42:24+00:00

Its often pretty obvious with women do. Why in the early stages. You invest a small bit and if the other side does not investing back you just stop giving.

If you have many different partners. Those people often dont invest much at all. So there mostly just have their hands up willing to get all the time but never to give.

And gage how a person is willing to invest back into you too. Is the easiest way to see if its worth it or not.

Why women are mad more men wanna go dutch. Or do coffee dates. And not high end restaurants and stuff. Many men want to see investment on the women side to not just on the men side none stop.

And giving all kinds of expensive dates while you dont know each other. Is weird and dumb. No matter how rich or poor you are. You at day one show your a easy push over. And most women dont realy respect that.

So only really invest in people. In people willing to invest in you back. And each level of the relationship and upgrade. You gage that again.

Im i willing to date this person?

Can i show this person to my parents and family?

Next level am i willing to live together with this person?

Am i willing to to start a family or marry this person?

Each level you look again at is the person giving enough investing enough And value enough to me. And if the persoon is not a asset to your life on an acceptable level the relationship does not progress.

Why for women getting people to sleep with is very easy. But the tests for women come after. Why do you have many limbo relationships. Cause men only see them as worthy up to that level not past that.

And just simply not enough investment or value. Is given.

Men and women are very ying and yang kind of way we are kinda opposite in a lot of way in the power dynamics. But does not mean in a lot of ways the power switches to the other side.

No power is always fully on one side. How you use or abuse set power. When the power does switch it's not weird they will use it the same way over you.

Thats what a relationship is. Basically a life partner.

Just like you have a employee. You want to give that employee the business so making the person co boss. But you start them at the bottom of the pool. See how motivated the employee is. And yes does fill that. Then you test how good he can do the roles asked off them. But keep just not getting it. Month after month just keep making mistakes. Showing you sadly thats the level the employee is. Not worthy of more then that.

Relationship dynamics are much the same. You get out what you put in. Not just time. Not just money. But willingness to care and serve the needs of the other side. The more you hold up your hands i want. I need give me. The less likely you will level up to the next level. Cause you never can put anyone above your own needs. And marriage and family with kids. On both sides its not about you 80% of the time. Greater good and us and kid goes above all.

And selfishness excludes your worthy for the position of being a wife.

Why its seen as fine if women have a ton of boyfriends cause the power switch happens. And there fail safe build in what men find disgusting and dont wanna put more investment in a type of women.

Just like women have fail safes that find types of men disgusting.

And how the power dynamics switch back and forth often safe card. That woman would be stuck on there level. Or have to go much be lower level of men that would be willing to do that.

Why many countries that the governments are totally not participating in contracts and if you live x amount of time together well then your married too. Very much upsets the balance. And very much make men even less likely to invest. If you put more rules one way.

What is very normal. Cause its based on a biological trigger. That you punish people for. So like saying if women are emotional or cry they have to pay a fine everytime the do it openly.

Being punished for biological needs like wanting to provide for a women they care about. Like living together and automatically being married. Makes men not wanna live together.

But in short both sides have there measurements build in to put many of those women on a level they cant pass. Same way women have it. Biological build in things what men and women have innate disgust for protect themselves for to great a lose. But thats only without daddy goverment. And bad contracts.

With it the whole dynamics very veey different how people act and invest. If the is more innate risks on 1 side. Its only normal men demanding much more investment to see it worth it at all.

But thats how it is. Value does not mean just the women. But also if there outside rules or punishment for things. Its much more less worth it for 1 side. If the rules always only cut one way. And a much bigger investment is then needed on the other side.

Otjahe · 2024-03-08T09:55:51+00:00

Maybe expectations for men and women in heterosexual relationships should not be the same, because men and women are not the same?

smarmycheesesandwich · 2024-03-08T14:05:10+00:00

Idk what post OP found. But the one I saw, OP was getting cooked.

Malformation49 · 2024-03-08T16:40:17+00:00

I completely agree with this. Except I'm not sure I care or want a monogamous partner at this point.

They all seem to be like OPs post. Will want you to be exclusive with them regardless of their relationship with you.

I'd rather a woman who is at least open enough to say she isn't monogamous. And not be lying about it.

I get ghosted constantly on dating apps cuz I'll be upfront when the women "want a real relationship".

Like I'm sorry, but I doubt it, you're on online dating.

gntlbastard · 2024-03-08T17:49:44+00:00

I don't care since I don't do relationships. Fuck buddy sure, but that's about the extent of it.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-03-08T18:11:34+00:00

First question I ask and if she is I bounce... Had one ask me one time why I didn't wanna compete and I straight up said ' you've already made you choice you're just seeking a back up and besides I don't compete with guys over women.

hearyoume14 · 2024-03-08T19:24:03+00:00

There seems to be a weird mix of exclusivity but without the actual exclusivity .Casual dating is a thing.

My greatest generation boomer 1&2 and gen x relatives have always been like “Date multiple people and then when you find someone you are compatible with ask for exclusivity.” Makes sense to me if exclusivity hasn’t been decided on by both parties you’re not doing anything wrong.

Now if one or both people want to do the serial monogamy thing or date for marriage/LTR that should be expressed early on. If your values don’t align or you can’t come to an agreement then you aren’t compatible.

I find someone choosing me to enter an exclusive relationship over their other options to be romantic.

For those who will bemoan that they don’t have options. You can only control yourself. The echo in here is quite loud.Most people who are in a healthy relationship or otherwise doesn’t have a preoccupied or disorganized attachment style are too busy with their relationship. I don’t have issues ,I have subscriptions, so here I am.

2024-03-08T19:43:58+00:00

What are you talking about?? This behavior has always been condoned in men while women have been vilified for it.

MidoriEgg · 2024-03-08T21:03:59+00:00

Anyone seeking monogamy should not pursue someone that had side pieces or fwb, is there really anyone who says otherwise?

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2024-03-08T21:42:13+00:00

I don't see the problem with that statement if sex is entirely off the table. The whole point of dating, to me, is to get to know someone, see if you're compatible, whether you're looking for the same things from the relationship. You date around, then you go exclusive when you find someone you mesh with.

If I found out someone I was dating was sleeping around I'd amicably part because that's just a plain values mismatch. No need to waste anyone's time.

apresonly · 2024-03-08T22:08:46+00:00

women telling women to date a bunch of men are pick mes and tools of the patriarchy

we can agree they suck 🤝

serpensmercurialis · 2024-03-08T23:22:33+00:00

It's bad advice, but you're wrong that men aren't encouraged to do that. That's literally what the whole plates and oneitis thing is about. Also, the comment you quote doesn't imply that men have to be okay with that behavior.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2024-03-09T06:31:14+00:00

Women like that are gonna be on all different kinds of anti depressants as they age

Women aren’t built for that lifestyle of rotating men in and out while getting casually fucked

Can work in their 20s and some 30s but most will get depressed that they are not committed to

The_Forgotten001 · 2024-03-10T09:32:20+00:00

Women aren't encouraged, it's just one user's opinion that is in opposition to someone like Candace Owens who urges women not to do that. That said she's going to remain unhappy, because she's going to realistically bond with her FWB.

The other problem with that advice, is it makes men seem like a commodity and makes it hard to bond(pair bond) with anyone because she will always have someone on the back burner and she's going to go into a permanent Wait and see mode just to leave him at the first misunderstanding or mistake and go on to the next date.... while sleeping with FWB... so there will be no urgency, and people in general always procrastinate until the last minute.

Mossimo5 · 2024-03-10T18:59:03+00:00

I'm of the opinion that you can date and sleep with anyone you want to until you've had the "we are exclusive" conversation. That's just called dating. Until you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend you're just dating around.

AnonPinkLady · 2024-03-11T14:00:40+00:00

I’m a woman and think this advice is dumb and unromantic. I promise we’re not all like this just the more untrusting and paranoid similar to incels. I don’t know women that are like this.

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-03-12T04:44:38+00:00

Its just women getting burned because they crave excitement . They want to have thier cake and eat it too. Also every woman who partakes in this is just boosting thier ego and confusing it with confidence either in quality or quantity usually both.

captainhowdy82 · 2024-03-08T02:30:45+00:00

What do you mean? There’s plenty of men out there who give the same kind of advice to other men. 2XC is probably like a kind of female version of red pill. You’re gonna get upvotes on that kind of content in both circles.

OptimistInHell · 2024-03-08T04:39:20+00:00

Your reference point is the sub where criminally insane, hysterical, mentally disturbed, and paranoid women who are starved for validation congregate... bro...

Naragub · 2024-03-08T02:17:45+00:00

TwoX is as much reality as this sub is.

NockerJoe · 2024-03-08T02:29:01+00:00

2XC has a bad habit of telling on themselves. This whole thing is only a problem if you're either fucking up your relationships constantly or if your whole thing is just dealing with the kind of casual fuckboy who'd be ok with being any of the men in this sort of scenario. Because lets face it even the average FWB would probably not be cool with you spending that much of your time with attempting to replace him with someone you want to care about more than them.

FreitasAlan · 2024-03-08T05:02:13+00:00

No one should be OK with that. The reason these kind of comments get upvotes is because they stand out and usually appeal to the audience of that channel/sub/whatever.

The excuse both men and women give to this advice is that having optionality makes things easier. This is mostly incorrect and but some failed logic makes it seem like good advice.

Still, this is terrible advice! You’re ensuring no relationship will go very far or even worse: you’ll invest a lot in a relationship just so your partner you’ll eventually find out about this in the future (it almost always happens somehow) and lose the relationship and the investment. And still hurt other people, which sucks. Men might probably care more about this but it still sucks both ways.

Then you might ask: what about the optionality. That’s simple: just be high value. If you’re high value, you know you’ll have other options if you leave a relationship. You will be reminded of your value even during the relationship when talking to people. You remember you had optionality before the relationship. You know you don’t need tricks. On the other hand, if you’re low value, you’re basically just spinning plates with other low and probably even lower value partners. That’s not optionality at all. It’s just a desperate trick for low self esteem people that achieves nothing good.

jashiran · 2024-03-08T01:17:47+00:00

Life sucks then you die.

vestibularam · 2024-03-08T06:54:14+00:00

Anyone ever looked at feeld? You do realise how many chicks openly ask for threesomes and foursomes and regularly get them right ?

Most_Read_1330 · 2024-03-08T05:34:32+00:00

I don’t see anything wrong with this. Men encourage other men to spin plates all the time. You’re just upset women are doing it too.

2024-03-08T01:12:23+00:00

I see nothing wrong with it. The objective is to not be with low value males, not to give low value males sex. If you can't get a partner, you are low value

Title	How do you feel about the fact that women are encouraged to do things in relationships that men aren't?
Author	CartmanKyle
Upvotes	68
Comments	463
Date	March 8, 2024 12:28 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b99yy5/how_do_you_feel_about_the_fact_that_women_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-you-feel-about-the-fact-that-women-are.1426412 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426412

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