It doesn't make sense that men complain about promiscuous women but also complain that women's standards are too high

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2024-10-22T15:39:53+00:00

The male fantasy is a girl who would never dream of sleeping with other guys but falls head over heels for HIM.

The female fantasy isn’t too different.

weenieandthebutt · 2024-10-22T10:31:58+00:00

You can be promiscuous and still have high standards.... promiscuous with the hot guys, prudish with the average men. Nobody wants that.

classicslayer · 2024-10-22T12:26:25+00:00

I mean you can have high standards and still be promiscuous it's not mutually exclusive.

bluestjuice · 2024-10-22T12:36:36+00:00

Fundamentally what men want in this scenario is not necessarily for women to sleep around or not.

They really want to be highly desired by women that they also desire.

balhaegu · 2024-10-22T07:47:49+00:00

Simple. Men want a woman to be their partner and sleep with them. They also dont want those women sleeping with other men.

fundamentally_comfy · 2024-10-22T12:51:51+00:00

You can have low standards and still be monogamous

Sharp_Potential3660 · 2024-10-22T07:37:00+00:00

As far as I can tell, men are fine with women being “easy” or relationship-minded, as long as their choice in men does not in any way reflect personal preferences…

It’s fine for women to sleep around, as long as they aren’t discriminating and only sleeping around with men they find particularly attractive.

It’s fine for women to look for a husband, as long as their standards are objective and not based on their subjective feelings about the connection.

I’ve always noticed that men are most likely to call women “sluts” when being rejected. You’d think that the real “sluts” are people who sleep with anyone? But men think the sluts are the women who only sleep with men they find hot.

Essentially, a lot of men think that, beyond a few basic parameters, women should be first-come-first-served

Wattehfok · 2024-10-22T06:43:35+00:00

Lotta dudes out here are shocked and dismayed that women have their own dreams and desires, and aren’t just there as NPCs in their personal hero’s journey narrative.

SettingSorry896 · 2024-10-22T10:27:00+00:00

You’re oversimplifying what men are actually saying. When men criticize promiscuous women, it’s often about long-term compatibility and trust issues, not just the fact that women are sleeping around. Men who complain about women’s high standards are usually talking about how difficult it is for average men to even get a chance, let alone build a connection. These are two different concerns.

The idea that men want women to lower their standards so they can sleep around isn’t entirely accurate. It’s more about the disparity in the dating world where a small percentage of men seem to get most of the attention while the rest are left out. Men aren’t asking for everyone to become promiscuous—they just want more opportunities to connect on a meaningful level.

Also, comparing this to gay men is apples and oranges. Gay men face different dynamics because both parties are men, which naturally changes the equation. Women having more partners doesn’t solve the deeper issue of why so many men feel left behind in dating. The reality is men want respect and a fair chance, not just more promiscuity from women.

wtknight · 2024-10-22T14:01:09+00:00

If anything, women being more promiscuous/having lower standards

These aren’t the same thing. It’s possible to be promiscuous and to still have high standards.

Sargeras13 · 2024-10-22T14:02:22+00:00

No ones saying women should have no standards, men are simply saying that women should have REASONABLE standards.

Furthermore, a woman having lower standards does not mean she'll be promiscuous, just like a woman having high standards won't be a virgin.

There are too many promiscuous women with high standards whilst there are women who aren't promiscuous with low standards.

Also, having lower standards is not equivalent to having no standards. A person can have 1 standard, but the benchmark of that standard can be high-- it's still low standards, but higher benchmark.

Arch_Null · 2024-10-22T17:53:26+00:00

False dichotomy.

You can be a hoe with high standards. Jeez it's like the people on this sub are only capable of thinking in binary. Especially the women on here acting stupid is especially irritating.

Wanderingwombat1902 · 2024-10-22T06:57:51+00:00

It’s quite simple really. Their standards for hot guys are super low. You can be an unemployed airhead but if you’re hot enough you can still find plenty of hot women to fuck. Look at Chad phishing for example.

But the standards for average men are super high. You need to have a good career, dress well, be respectful, be funny, be interesting, etc etc.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-10-22T16:02:25+00:00

Men want women to sleep with them, but not anyone else, to have low enough standards to find them attractive but not act on it with anyone else on the same attractiveness level, to have women happily and eagerly throw themselves at them but not any other man who is any way different than him. It’s the classic conundrum. Men on here: if you’re not getting the kind of pussy you want, you either make yourself more desirable or you shut up because women aren’t changing their approach to dating for you.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-10-22T14:14:56+00:00

Women can never ever win that's why. It's a huge waste of time to adjust your behavior to appease men. Be yourself (unless your behavior hurts others) and hopefully youll attract a good match. No matter what you do, men will criticize you. Alot of their criticisms contradict each other too and they lack the emotional intelligence to recognize this.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2024-10-22T12:54:28+00:00

I'm the guy who used to tell my short, average looking but low inhibition friend of mine to stop slut-shaming women, since I believed: a) that the reason women were so sexually selective was that they were afraid of losing their reputation (and thus only risked that reputation with the hottest guys), and b) that if they had no such fear, they would mostly become as indiscriminate about who they slept with as men are.

However, that was before Tinder. I'm now skeptical of the second premise behind my exhorting my friend not to slut-shame. I can't help but see the Sexual Revolution as the Reaganomics of sex (at least for men), i.e., it promised to benefit everyone but instead ended up benefiting those already at the top for the most part.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-10-22T08:13:31+00:00

Well there is a demography of men wanting women to be promiscuous with THEM and wanting women to lower their standard with THEM

But it's true there is a group of women who have high standards for a lot of men but drop everything for the first attractive guy they met. So the high standards and promiscuity isn't impartial sometimes

Those two group are a problem in the dating world

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2024-10-22T13:00:30+00:00

Men believe they have the power of social pressure that the original founders of religions wielded as cudgels.

They reckon if they socially neuter women, the chances of landing a virgin increase. A quick trip to r/ deadbedrooms should enlighten those men what lies ahead if they willfully choose a woman who is easily made to feel shame about her sexuality.

EmergencyConflict610 · 2024-10-22T11:27:16+00:00

This isnt hard. Men don't want women to sleep with everybody they see but they also want women to have realistic standards when it comes to who they get in to relationships with. This isnt hard.

HmanTheChicken · 2024-10-22T11:26:17+00:00

One deals with how easy going you are, the other deals with how well you can commit. Not rocket science.

OscarTheHusky · 2024-10-22T12:49:25+00:00

No, men want their partner to sleep with them exclusively, they don't want their women to sleep with other men, simple.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-10-22T15:52:06+00:00

You can actually have both going on at the same time, and for women that’s more often the case. Promiscuous women are often the ones focused on chads and rich handsome men. The most hypergamous.

When a guy is very promiscuous he’s usually indiscriminately having sex. There are easy promiscuous women that are very open to a wide range of men, this is highly abnormal.

When a woman is a total slut, she makes a bee line to the richest and most attractive guys in the room. If she’s cute, she gets these desirable guys more often than not.

y2kjanelle · 2024-10-22T20:14:30+00:00

Men do not understand women as people with their own lives.

They quite literally think we exist solely to belong to one of them. Anything else is just a bonus or a burden.

When you find a guy who doesn’t think like this, it’s one of the most refreshing experiences as a woman. Because he’s actually interested in YOU.

MC-Purp · 2024-10-22T21:45:33+00:00

Or, women have the ability to change their personal standards at any given moment, and choose to let their high standards go for a limited amount of time (how phase, girls night), or for an individual candidate (“chad”), just because she feels like it. Which is totally her right as an individual. But by doing this it does allow men to hold both of these opinions simultaneously.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-10-23T02:09:33+00:00

Don't understand why people can't just stay in their own lanes and date one another, they seem to do it here but not in the likes of the US

inb4 shut up ur fat and ur bf is chad

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-10-22T11:53:43+00:00

Women become promiscuous because their standards are too high. They lead with sex, and can't lock down the guy they want. His SMV is too much higher than hers, but he'll gladly accept the free sex.

Doesthisevenmatter7 · 2024-10-22T08:57:17+00:00

Having a problem with women’s standards is waste of time and energy. My biggest issue has never been their standards it’s the fucking fake high horse a lot of women stand on cause society has deemed their standards socially acceptable, where as demonizing men for trying to have any leg to stand on.

gopher_glitz · 2024-10-22T13:16:12+00:00

It's almost as if all men aren't the same. Lots of young guys get zero women. Once they're older, richer, more mature etc etc they get the ran through left overs with all their baggage. So many will complain about standards too high while young and women have been through too many guys when they get a little older.

LouisdeRouvroy · 2024-10-22T08:05:48+00:00

You can have high standards and sleep with lots of men, because it doesn't mean that they have high standards for the women they sleep with..

driggsky · 2024-10-22T12:55:55+00:00

For a woman it may seem like a double standard which is understandable

But its also fairly clear that women often are promiscuous with attractive men and prudish with average men

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-10-22T11:50:38+00:00

Sure it does.

People have standards for different things, including themselves, depending on what they want. If one understands what men want and human psychology in general, it makes a lot of sense.

Perhaps you mean to argue it’s not reasonable or justified?

In any case, it can be true simultaneously that women ‘are easy’ and ‘have too high of standards.’ Why? Because, like men, the standard a man needs to meet is different depending on what the woman is looking for. Some men don’t have to clear the same bar for her to sleep with them, while other men need to clear a much higher bar to ‘lock her down.’

Personally, I think when it comes to sex, most people have too low of standards. Promiscuity is not a virtue. And when it comes to relationships, men tend to have too low of standards because they’re starved for attention, and women also tend to have too low of standards when it comes to what really matters (e.g. the character of the person they pursue, that person’s life path and their own, the level of commitment they should be looking for, etc.) and too high of standards when it comes to things that don’t really matter (e.g. luxury, money, access to exotic vacations, resources to lean into consumerism, etc.).

I_HEART_HATERS · 2024-10-22T14:12:22+00:00

When it comes to promiscuous women I don’t think men really have serious grudges against them. The degrading rhetoric toward sluts is more of a judgement against the character of promiscuous women, but we also know that promiscuous women are the easiest to have sex with so there is an appreciation for promiscuous women at the same time. But falling in love with a promiscuous woman is a bad thing to do, that’s one reason why they get a bad rep

QuantityAcademic · 2024-10-22T15:46:06+00:00

I agree with this. Promiscuous women are the best. I wish a lot more women were more promiscuous.

Wavefile99 · 2024-10-22T22:52:55+00:00

No the main issue is women sleeping around with 9s and 10s while those 9s and 10s aren’t interested and relationship with them. Just get in a relationship with someone more on your level and don’t sleep around.

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VWGUYWV · 2024-10-22T14:41:05+00:00

You need to understand that a group can’t be hypocritical unless the group adopts an official opinion

What you are complaining about is diversity in male thought

As a collective, some men judge female promiscuity and some don’t, this isn’t hypocrisy

You have to notice the contradiction within a single decision making entity

Sholnufff · 2024-10-22T19:39:06+00:00

Men complain about promiscuous women when trying to have a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP.

Women's standards are not too high. In fact, most women need to raise their standards to take in the entire package instead of ehat turns her on. The problem is their standards are not in reality.

Consider this, the average women wants the 6 figure, 6ft or taller, 6+ 🍆 guy. The average height of a male is 5'9, only about 17% of men in the US make over 6 figures and the average 🍆 size is 5 inches. There's a website, https://igotstandardsbro.com/ that is a statistical calculator that tells you your odds of finding that kind of guy for the ladies

My rebuttal to men is to find a woman that likes you for you and not for a transactional type relationship.

Anonreddit96 · 2024-10-22T22:01:31+00:00

The problem is not with the standards but the double standards.

The women who would have high standards against an AVG guy and wouldn't sleep on the first date would still go ahead and have ONS with high value men or "chads".

Men would rarely complain in a generalized way about a woman having singular standards towards all men. They might still complain about women not following the 3 date rule but wouldn't do so if she does that with everyone. Similarly with religious people who actually do not want to have sex before marriage. But would definitely spot the double standards if the woman is older, has plenty of ONS and casual sex in the past, but now is suddenly serious about life and wouldn't have sex even after 3 months of dating because "she wants to take it slow" or is looking for "real meaningful connections"

This definitely doesn't mean the women are in the wrong cuz change is natural. Lots of people change for lots of reasons. But who would want to pay a bigger price for the same quality or less quality of relationships.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-10-23T01:09:04+00:00

It's like every 3 months someone trots this nonsense out....

Look....the men who are getting pussy....really like promiscuous women, regardless of what they say.

Likewise, the men who aren't getting laid really like promiscuous women, because it means there's hope that they might get some pussy.

Both type of men - depending on the audience - will make it sound like they don't like promiscuous women for 2 reasons: 1) good old fashion slut shaming - its been a thing since biblical times ffs and 2) virtue signalling - to try to make themselves seem morally superior to those who would deign to fuck a promiscuous woman.

That's it.

There's no mystery.

People lie to conceal their genuine position on things that are morally ambiguous in a mixed group setting.

Nothing to see here.

sansan6 · 2024-10-23T01:49:43+00:00

I don’t get this view point. And when men complain about promiscuity they arnt talking about 6 bodies or something. They mean like 20+ typically depending on age.

tonyghow · 2024-10-23T03:04:28+00:00

Easy. Women have high standards for the men they have a lot of sex with. Both things can be true at once.

PsychologicalOil8190 · 2024-10-23T06:32:50+00:00

They aren't desperate for sex because of their plethora of options, have you ever been around a big chick at a party? They will tear the pants off any guy almost immediately. Women choose who they are intimate with and place other men on the back burner or for some other nefarious purpose and act like they are these innocent little angels to the men on the back burner. Those dudes find out and obviously get frustrated and talk smack, all of this can be solved if women just stick to the men they want to be intimate with.

Also, you see nothing wrong with a woman being promiscuous with half the town, but now all of a sudden she changed and tells this new guy "I'm not like that anymore" You see nothing wrong with this scenario?

LostWanderer88 · 2024-10-23T10:22:09+00:00

If a woman had a sex life of 2 average looking guys and one hot guy she wouldn't be promiscuous and at the same time she would have reasonable standards

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-10-22T07:09:08+00:00

Are you really that surprised that a lot of men want something in between? These people want someone who doesn't have standards they won't meet and are willing to sleep around with them. It's literally that simple.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-10-23T05:54:42+00:00

Men complain that all the women want to fuck tall, attractive, rich, big dicked guys like me. They are not wrong. The ratio is about 70%. On average about 7 out of 10 women want to fuck me either for my looks, money, height, or my dick.

Which leaves about 30% women who are not gold-digging whores, on the full spectrum of the bell curve. Knowing the distribution, half of them - 15% are above mid in looks, another half of that - 7.5% aren't obese. This leaves 7.5% of women (varied from 6 to 10 in looks) that are actually wife material for the top 10% guys to compete for. I'm talking not even fucking looksmatch.

That's why even we, top guys aren't happy with the current situation. This western culture has created an overwhelming abundance of women, whom no man with an ounce of self-respect would wife. I can fuck a new woman literally every evening, and absolutely none of them are LTR material.

And do you know how modern culture is trying to fix that? By creating men with no self-respect. Hence the simp epidemic. But the irony is that such men are absolutely unattractive to women 🤷🏽‍♂️

Muggo_Sluggo · 2024-10-22T08:03:36+00:00

That might be the same women at two different points in their lives and speaking of two different kinds of men. Someone already elaborated on that. The comment about how hot guys don't have any requirements, but the average guy needs to provide everything.

I think I actually see this among my own friends. They used to be a little cocky about the guys they'd get, but coming up on middle age, they are far more vocal about their demands for men (and have somewhat extreme reactions to rejection/cheating). I don't know if anyone else sees this, but it's just incessant social media posting about "what a man needs to do/be like."

At the point they were hooking up effortlessly, I don't recall seeing anything like that. Just the occasional, "This guy is SO hot" comments. Same women. Just different points in their lives.

I suppose your point does stand though. When they realize they can't have the hot guys anymore, you would assume it would open up the field to the rest of the riff raff. Maybe the thing is, they put those new requirements in place to make it seem like they still have high standards. Somehow, I think a woman believing she's still "choosing the best" (just using different parameters) is still really important to her own psyche, even if the reality is that she's just making the best of her remaining options.

anewlookav · 2024-10-22T18:38:36+00:00

Please. Stop paying attention to these men. They are not worth listening to. There are so many other voices out there worthy of your time. The best thing they've done is quickly shown you their red flag

Title	It doesn't make sense that men complain about promiscuous women but also complain that women's standards are too high
Author	Blonde_Icon
Upvotes	24
Comments	383
Date	October 22, 2024 4:17 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1g99oyp/it_doesnt_make_sense_that_men_complain_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/it-doesnt-make-sense-that-men-complain-about.1533035 https://theredarchive.com/post/1533035

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