Why is Autism basically a contraceptive for men?

Termodynamicslad · 2024-11-27T10:09:41+00:00

Love the people overthinking.

Autistic men face more trouble than autistic women because the social norm is:

Man approaches woman and carries the social interaction, trying to keep the woman interested.

Autistic women don't have the same problem because they get approached by neurotypical men and these men will try to keep the woman interested.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-11-27T05:50:42+00:00

Do most people have an inbuilt neurodivergence radar that goes haywire when it detects someone who isn't quite on the normative spectrum?

Yes. Autistic people can't read non-verbal communication so they can't react on it. So as an example when girl send you a signal "you're nice, go ahead and touch me" with her body and tone of her voice but guy don't react then she decide that guy isn't interested in her and go away. And most information goes through non-verbal channel, so much that in many cases it doesn't really matter what you're talking about.

GurrGurr666 · 2024-11-27T05:34:27+00:00

I heard somewhere that like 1/3 of all incels suffer from autism, makes sense if you ask me.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-11-27T05:19:36+00:00

autism is a deficit in social ability that makes it difficult for others to feel human connection with you. that connected feeling is vital for women and any deficit in it will make love and romance exceedingly difficult

Proudvow · 2024-11-27T06:09:47+00:00

Women are biologically driven to filter out men who don't fit in with the pack. Autism produces behavior that make you look out of sync, inexperienced (thus lacking in status and preselection), and honestly too awkward to bang her properly (like you won't catch any of the signals of what she wants you to do at any given point, and it's not sexy if she has to spell it out for you; she wants you to sweep her off her feet). An inability to perform is the number one mood killer.

Sociopaths pass the check because you don't need to fit in with the pack if you just take control it, and they can read women just fine. Even (attractive) edgy loner dudes pass the check because technically they didn't fail to fit in, they just didn't try, implying that they don't need the pack, and women love a guy who's better than the pack. But if you come to her looking like society rejected you on day one, unfortunately she'll do the same.

nnuunn · 2024-11-27T06:20:18+00:00

I think it's because autism triggers the same feelings of unease as psychosis in people. Autistic individuals struggle with empathy, and are generally self-obsessed, which is also true of genuinely crazy people. People who do push though and get to know autistic people generally find them to be otherwise solid people. The issue for autistic men is that, for the most part, women's sexuality depends entirely on the initial impression you leave them with. If a woman writes you off as being creepy, she may come around to see you as a friend, but she's very, very rarely going to come around to see you as sexy.

Another problem with autistic people is that they tend to be very literal in interpreting what people say, and when it comes to sex and relationships, people very rarely literally describe what that's supposed to be like, so they may have a very childish view of relationships, imagining that you're supposed to find some "magical" experience that gives you "butterflies in the stomach" and makes you "just know she's the one," which are all euphemisms for mere sexual arousal.

This is also why it's really only a problem for autistic men. Many men actually find autistic women to be endearing, but childishness and creepiness are catastrophic problems for men when trying to find a woman.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-11-27T13:50:10+00:00

Humans are a social species. Dating is a social activity. People who struggle with social cues are going to struggle with a social activity in a social species

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-11-27T05:17:20+00:00

Do people have an inbuilt neurodivergence radar that goes haywire when it detects someone who isn't quite on the normative spectrum?

Yes. Absolutely. They can "tell" something is off unless you're very good at masking.

If you aren't good at masking they'll notice the effort you're putting in and then call you a "try-hard" (the 'sperg will immediately think "but I thought you wanted me to try and fit in?" and thus be confused. But the entire point is not to try and make 'spergs fit in, the entire point is to drive 'spergs OUT).

And this "weirdo detector" is exclusively about 'sperg/ASD characteristics. Sociopathy/Psychopathy neurodivergence doesn't trigger those "red flags." ADHD neurodivergence doesn't either. Its the 'sperg/ASD which does it.

I'm wondering why it's such a sexual repellent for so many people?

Its a social repellent too - normie guys frequently bully ASD guys.

The only answer I can come up with is that it has to do with evolutionary psychology of some kind. Most 'spergs are fucking harmless and often very smart and talented in socially useful ways, so ostracizing them is clearly irrational from a modern point of view.

But think back to the days of existing in a tribal culture, where people who had weird and 'out-there' ideas were a danger to social cohesion and thus posed a risk. Where huge levels of abstract intelligence didn't really help because society's standard of living didn't depend so much on technology. Where social status was all about playing interpersonal social politics.

Just like Socrates was forced to drink Hemlock, 'spergs were cast out because of the danger they represented because they are naturally nonconforming, orthodoxy-challenging, iconoclastic, and individualistic.

Hence, they represented a genetic negative in the evolutionary environment.

Hence the 'weirdo detector.' Which doesn't stop the predatory abusers, by the way... women are absolutely vulnerable to falling for men with that kind of neuroatypicality.

But 'spergs? Ick.

pentatonicartichoke · 2024-11-27T08:15:52+00:00

Autism can cause an uncanny feeling for neurotypicals that may lead to avoidance and the social isolation of the autistic person. After interacting with an autistic person, neurotypicals interviewed didn't understand what it was, but something felt off. This was elleviated with information. When neurotypicals were informed about the person being autistic they felt more at ease and even eager to acconodate and make the social interaction work. A lot of prejudice comes from a lack of knowledge.

As for social skills, there is something called the double-empathy problem. When an autistic person was asked to socialise with a group of neurotypical people, they struggled. They didn't understand the "codes". Likewise when a neurotypical person was asked to interact in a group where autistics were the majority they struggled. Meanwhile the autistic people had a flow and shared understanding similar to the neurotypical group. They simply played by different rules, ir spoke a "different language".

Of course autistic people are a minority amd thus will more often feel alienated socially, but social skills aren't limited to neurotypical people, it simply presents in different ways, and some cultures might be more challenging for autistic people than others.

(I can find the studies if anyone is interested.)

Neuro-atypical people tend to be drawn to eachother. They often feel that sense of mutual understanding described above, so you'll often find friend groups or couples with multiple neurospicy people, be that autism, ADHD or others. Anecdotally I can confirm this. I've got ADHD and a very even mix of neurotypical and neurospicy friends. I have also dated both.

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2024-11-27T05:07:00+00:00

Do people have an inbuilt neurodivergence radar that goes haywire when it detects someone who isn't quite on the normative spectrum?

Not specifically, just your standard reaction to someone who is 'off' in some way. More than half of our communication is nonverbal, and unfortunately, neurodivergence can interfere with that portion.

I've seen normie guys - not even very attractive ones - get away with murder (straight up insulting women, saying racist horseshit) while it feels like neurodivergents are punished for the slightest harmless mistake.

Usually, it's because they setup and/or read the situation right, so they can 'insult' the other person but not have it be taken literally as an insult. It's no different than men ribbing on each other but not meaning what was said.

Low-Cockroach7733 · 2024-11-27T06:13:31+00:00

I'd say having any unsexy neurodivergence is a good contraceptive. Having anxiety or any other disability that detracts from mens ability to perform is probably just as unfortunate for dating as a man. Dating reinforces conservative social norms for both good and bad reasons.

Typically, dating and sexual relationships are the last domains to be affected by cultural changes for men. Dating is intrinsically conservative despite the progressive window dressing by successive generations. Women value the status quo and what traditionally works best. Many do not want to be "beta testers" for black sheeps that requires diverging from the social script that has served them well, which is always risky.

Chebbieurshaka · 2024-11-27T05:31:57+00:00

Because having autism is unattractive and I’ve seen autist get bullied and fucked with when I was in high-school.

They’re low on the caste. They’re not of high value. It’s quite sad.

Edit- If you don’t fit in with society you’re ostracized. Many other identities are similar.

Hi-Road · 2024-11-27T14:57:13+00:00

This is kind of a side note but seeing people’s comments about the dating show for autistic individuals is interesting. Most people agree they come off as great, kind people but if you took a poll on who’s actually date them - I feel like it’d be pretty low.

MikeArrow · 2024-11-27T04:56:54+00:00

Because emotional intelligence, body language and nonverbal social cues are a huge part of how most people communicate.

Someone who is flat affect, awkward, unable to make conversation, is trying too hard, unable to relax because they're constantly masking, all of those factors give off strong 'unsafe' and 'unpredictable' flags.

It would be very difficult to relax and feel comfortable around someone who you couldn't read or have a clear idea of what they're thinking or how they will react.

Livid-Log7463 · 2024-11-27T05:10:11+00:00

Very simply women have a much narrower capacity for attraction and since autism is a very outlying trait it is filtered out just as any other “undesirable” trait.

odd_cloud · 2024-11-27T12:43:39+00:00

I understand that there is a problem in communication between NTs and autists. The most interesting question though is what subjective feeling is evoked in NTs by autists. I struggle to understand what the problem is for NTs, because most autistic people I met are quite interesting. They talk about their interests which may be very unusual and are generally very good hearted people. Can’t see why people may dislike them.

ListPlenty6014 · 2024-11-28T01:20:38+00:00

If men judged women on their social behavior like women judge men, we’d be extinct.

anthrovillain · 2024-11-27T20:45:31+00:00

If I had to guess I'd say a big part of it is simply lack of natural physical gestures not using body language with a neurotypical is going to subconsciously impact their view of you constantly. The other part of that is they don't understand body language as well so it's much more difficult to read someone else's emotions. It's like not being fluent in a primary language.

themoderation · 2024-11-27T12:10:33+00:00

Autism is primarily characterized by deficits in socialization. Of course people with autism have trouble dating. It’s a social activity.

t_krett · 2024-11-27T11:12:52+00:00

My take is neurodivergence doesn't complicate too much how you deal with individual people 1on1 if they can fit you in, but it retards you adapting to interactions that are ruled by conventions (i.e. small talk) and might ruin your dealing with group interactions (important for not just being funny but popular). It is also a natural form of preselection bias.

This can go both ways, in highschool my aloof demeanor made me way popular than I should have been. But as neurodivergent you are bad at capitalizing on your social situation and also at adapting when it eventually changes.

HmanTheChicken · 2024-11-27T14:35:21+00:00

Men are expected to be confident and charming, people on the spectrum are not and give women the ick.

Charming_Review_735 · 2024-11-27T14:51:52+00:00

My understanding is that charm and charisma are vitally important for attracting women, both of which require well-developed social skills which autistic people struggle with. Autistic people are also at the hyper-masculine end of the interest in things vs interest in people spectrum which makes holding conversations with the typical woman who prefers to talk about people far more challenging. Eg I remember Elon Musk saying that one of his dates was one long monologue on electric cars and most of my friends during my maths degree (all pretty autistic) always gravitated to thing-oriented discussions like mathematics, video games, music theory etc. Then there's also the fact that autistic males are often temperamentally quite feminine, having unusually strong emotions and affective empathy, which I understand to be a repellant for women. Also, due to their impaired cognitive empathy, autistics are far more cautious in social situations (like how in RTS games people with less scouting information are more defensive and take fewer risks) so don't project the confidence which attracts women. FWIW I've been diagnosed with aspergers and decided to give up on trying to attract women in favour of just seeing escorts (legal where I live) since getting repeatedly discriminated against for my social disability is deeply unpleasant.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2024-11-27T06:50:44+00:00

Because maybe women do care about personality a little bit?

AreOut · 2024-11-27T08:35:48+00:00

these days every man who is not attractive and escalating is being called an autist

Cablepussy · 2024-11-27T12:52:38+00:00

Women will look past anything to get the D they want, inversely they will find any reason at all to refuse the D they don't.

It's kind of like being a cat, you don't like many things but the things you do like you're down bad.

wtknight · 2024-11-27T05:55:33+00:00

Women like men who can get along with other men. Neurodivergent men are less likely to have male friends. Not having a male network meant, at least in the past, that one would probably be less likely to provide resources to offspring. Thus, there are evolutionary reasons why women prefer social men.

Furthermore, women do like to have fun. A man obsessed with some autistic interest is probably not going to seem as fun to most women.

There are probably other reasons, but these two are ones that I can think of right off the top of my head.

Agaeon · 2024-11-27T19:40:35+00:00

Many women conflate social capabilities to intelligence and charisma

This means that men who do not socialize are outside of a normal type of partner consideration

RushtyTinker · 2024-11-27T22:54:58+00:00

I've done okay and I'm pretty blatantly autistic, that being said it has made me particularly vulnerable to abusive/toxic women, some women specifically look for guys with autism assuming they'll be more malleable or subservient which couldn't be further from the truth. Most autistic men are mules, people just assume quiet = timid

It's definitely a niche though, and unless you're into that it's probably best just staying single. It sucks but it's just not worth the hassle.

Moscow_Gordon · 2024-11-28T01:48:21+00:00

I think to some extent this is a specifically American thing. There's an obsession in the US with status. People with autistic traits are hated because they aren't good at status games. Nice Paul Graham essay on this.

Mountain-Nobody-3548 · 2024-11-28T03:08:45+00:00

It absolutely is. While I haven't been diagnosed with autism or ADHD I have always felt like I was different from everyone else, like I didn't fit with any group. And of course I was repulsive to women. Women said they were scared of me even though I can't even lift my own weight. I mean I got no power, what should they be scared of?

But yeah it's sad to be unable to socialize with the opposite sex, being unable to deal with social cues and being in general an awkward person.

Material-Dark-6506 · 2024-11-30T04:17:09+00:00

Studies show that 30% of “incels” (using that term loosely) are on the spectrum. That’s just autism not other forms of neurodivergence. It’s a huge factor. I literally cannot communicate how big of an impact it has on your dating life. It’s the fucking worst. Especially when you have to constantly listen to people talk about their neurodivergence and how everyone has to accommodate it…. Unless you’re a guy that’s autistic, then you’re just fucking creepy and screwed. I’m so sick of this stupid hypocritical modern world.

Aware-Resolve6740 · 2024-11-27T05:06:19+00:00

Despite what many pillers think, attractiveness is a holistic qualitative assessment made by individuals with many variables, not some qualitative on-paper formula. Personality is part of that assessment and compatibility matters.

Why would I date someone with autism or asperger’s when I can date a neurotypical girl?

doesanyofthismatter · 2024-11-27T11:35:59+00:00

My brother and friend are both autistic and I can say that it’s kind of obvious why a woman would find it unattractive when women typically like to be able to connect emotionally with their partner but having autism makes it very very difficult.

Women with autism get a bit of a pass because many guys don’t really need that deep emotional connection and many guys will have sex with any woman.

It might be a hard truth but that’s our species.

HorrorEggplant3565 · 2024-11-27T07:14:43+00:00

A huge amount of incels being autistic also explains the views seen on places like this subreddit well, the “women lied to me” victim complex for example - autistic guys likely don’t pick up on those social cues and feel like they were lied to or betrayed by society.

joe_death · 2024-11-27T07:06:57+00:00

Unfortunately, no one likes you when you’re a tar tar boy. I know this from experience. It’s a primal fucking hatred.

AidsVictim · 2024-11-29T23:38:30+00:00

Most of these guys don't have autism and even putting them on a spectrum with such a disorder is questionable. Most people don't realize how "weird" was just something normally encountered in daily social life and most people still got paired up through various efforts (family, church, whatever community) before mass media.

Social flattening from mass media makes any sort of social deficiency or nonconformity social poison. Women are very sensitive to negative social feedback and men that fail the "be socially normal" test (even if it's an off brand of lifestyle specific normal) are many womens greatest fear in dating because it reflects their own status and social standing (both self perceived and as judged by others).

Guys basically just don't care about that unless the social deficiency or divergence is pretty extreme. Looks and the womans overall background are more important than being weird (to a point).

sherbert-yum · 2024-11-29T08:11:55+00:00

The sexiest man I’ve ever met is autistic. You can make it work in your favor. The key is observing her reactions in relation to what you do. If I do x, she reacts x way, and looking at those patterns to analyze how to get the response you are wanting from her. It’s all gathering info to analyze and identify trends. That’s how it was explained to me anyway.

mashedturnip · 2024-11-27T06:09:54+00:00

Relationships are social

Neurodivergents have issues with that

ladyindev · 2024-11-27T15:19:40+00:00

I think there's a lot of truth to this, but obviously will depend on the man and the woman. I know men on the spectrum who have casual sex and serious relationships. My husband had a late-in-life diagnosis on the spectrum, and he explains that he spent a lot of time growing up working on social skills, reading people, and learning how to get the results he wanted from social interactions - self-reflection and a willingness to adjust, basically. I don't doubt it was extremely hard, and he says he would have probably scared me away back in the day because he would have nerded out on me. I told him he does that now. He says, no, he goes easy on me in comparison lol

He has slept with far more people than I have and has had more relationships. That's by choice on my end, to be fair, but he's probably on par with probably the more attractive non-ASD guys in terms of numbers, if that matters to you. (That can also be read negatively too though, depends.) He says the number one factor to his success with women has been trying - he just kept putting himself out there and going for it.

He had an ex who said he was selfish, which may align with some other reads here in the comments about how "high-functioning" people with Autism can come across. I can see the self-interest and he doesn't "just get" some things that other people do, but I never viewed him as just selfish - that to me implies a lot more than a lack of perspective that others have more instinctively. To me, the ways he shows up for me when he knows I prefer something a certain way, unless it crosses a major boundary for him, and how much space he makes to prioritize me in his life were my first two signs that he wasn't a selfish asshole.

I think people have to be careful. I know women who were swept off their feet by men who initially seemed incredibly romantic and "just got it" on some of the things my husband didn't initially, and the outcomes in several cases I know of have been wasting her time at best or crazy levels of abuse and harassment at worse. I think a good amount of discernment is key, but also women should go after what they want too, ofc. It's tricky though sometimes. I'm an over-communicator though and very assertive about what I want and need, so that's probably a big component to how we work so well together. He's patient, kind to me, understanding, brilliant, accepting, and accommodating, and so awesome in many ways.

griz3lda · 2024-11-27T20:49:57+00:00

For some reason, I can't reply to the people who are replying to my comment doubting my story that I know two guys who are autistic pussy slayers, but I'm fucking both of them and I am with them an awful lot so I physically see women coming up to them and texting them practically every time I am with them. This is a real thing. Is it an extreme outlier, yes. Is it a way that autism can manifest where somebody basically uses their powers of pattern recognition to become a mechanical social savant, making up for their lack of intuition, yes. These are guys who have zero male friends because they were bullied as kids, and they also have sisters, so they just socialize with women and and because of those women are very comfortable around them. It becomes a snowball effect where women see other women around them and feel like oh they're probably a good guy then. It becomes sort of a referral network situation. a lot of the time they have learned to mimic conventional masculinity from cheesy Science Fiction hero type media and stuff like that, and have very bombastic over the top presentations and dress styles. Spending time with only women your entire life will make you more competent with women. Also, these guys are very tall and good looking, so they have a lot of great openings. If somebody was not attractive and didn't have any chances in the first place, they probably wouldn't be able to overcome it being autistic. But if you are conventionally attractive, you can make it a feature not a bug. Women are attracted to guys who don't care what anybody think, who have a passion, who are hard-working and successful in their career field, who have strong moral values. These are all things that are seen in autism, particularly. Imagine a guy who is just slaying it as a scientist because he works in his special interest field. He has no problem walking away from social pressure situations or defending your honor. His friend group is entirely women who seem extremely comfortable around him. A lot of them he has fucked, but doesn't seem to have bonded to them the same way a lot of guys would, yet they still hang around him. A lot of women would give a guy like that a chance if he was attractive. A lot of the times they don't find out the more difficult parts of dating somebody who is autistic until they are already in a relationship and invested. Also being autistic, people are more likely to regulate their time tightly and only allow people to see them when they are feeling at their best. so every time you're with the guy, he is totally dialed into you, but he's not easy to get a hold of. That is intermittent reinforcement, it is known to be way to train mammals to keep trying to get some thing.

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BodybuilderChoice488 · 2024-11-28T01:11:39+00:00

Why do you think.

CherryPieAlibi · 2024-12-10T07:22:56+00:00

Hey don’t feel bad. ADHD/ASD woman here and it’s just hard. Im surprised I even was able to get married, but I’m still working on earning friends…

The7thRoundSteal · 2024-12-23T17:09:22+00:00

Why is autism basically a contraceptive for men?

A lot of different reasons.

Some autistic men may be clearly disabled and women are less likely to be romantically attracted to men who are clearly disabled. Even higher functioning guys may come across as clearly autistic which may be a romantic turn off for many women. Example: Skippy the 40 year old virgin from TLC.
Many autistic men have distinctive mannerisms or speech patterns which may make them appear either odd, cold, or aloof. For example, many autistic men have a hard time looking women in the eyes, or they may struggle with smiling and nodding. A woman may perceive these actions as the man being uninterested.
Autistic men have a harder time reading people and reading the room. They're not as good with reading facial expressions, reading body language, and reading people intentions, compared to someone who is neurotypical. As a result, they may not be able to pick up on a woman's interest and act on it. And because women typically communicate through subtle language and through intentions (especially in save face cultures like in many parts of Asia), autistic guys are more likely to miss a woman's interest or lack of interest.
Autistic men are more likely to suffer from social anxiety or rejection sensitive dysphoria, both of which make dating a lot harder. Men with social anxiety are less likely to pursue women or ask them out due to their anxiety. Men with rejection sensitive dysphoria have a hard time handling romantic rejection. On an emotional pain scale, being rejected by a woman may feel like a 7 or 8 for someone with RSD, while someone without RSD may perceive the rejection to be a 2 or 3. As a result, someone with RSD may be less likely to continue pursuing women if it brings them immense pain.
Autistic men are more likely to be unemployed or underemployed compared to neurotypicals. For men, their ability to financially provide is a major trait in how attractive they're perceived to be. And since autistic guys are less likely to be financially secure, this makes them less desirable (on average) compared to neurotypical men.
Autistic men are less likely to be into sports and fitness compared to neurotypical men, and this is because autistic people are (on average) less coordinated compared to neurotypical men. Men who are not into sports and fitness are generally less fit. Men who are less fit are (on average) less physically attractive compared to men who are fit. So basically, being autistic men are less likely to be into fitness, they're generally less fit, and are therefore less likely to be physically attractive.

So because of all of those reasons, autistic men are at a huge disadvantage when it comes to dating.

antariusz · 2024-11-27T12:30:31+00:00

but every now and then it rears its head in the form of a missed social cue

How do you think men get sexual opportunities?

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-11-27T16:22:49+00:00

Do most people have an inbuilt neurodivergence radar that goes haywire when it detects someone who isn't quite on the normative spectrum? It doesn't even seem to be a conscious aversion, more like some subconscious process.

Sort of, you get a feeling of uncanny valley, which triggers the monkey brain to be "something is off it might be danger". It's like there are tiny things that are off, but you can't put a finger on it and not being able to identify it can cause a bit of discress.

There is also the double empathy problem where ND and NT are expressing the same thing, but in a different way, thus the other party does not interpret the expression as the same thing. It's something like "roasting", some people will think it as a friendly thing, while other people see it as bullying. Or like two people got a cupcake with the note "gift" on it. One person eats it as they read the note as the english word meaning "present", while another person will throw it out as they read the note as the german word meaning "poison". Same word - different understandings and reactions.

Another thing is being able to connect. It's hard to do when you speak different "languages" and by missing social cues or doing faux pas kinda signals that you don't speak the same "language".

Also, autists tend to be notorious infodumpers and monologuers and dropping things that aren't interesting to them. So you might not even be able to share things with them and they might either interrupt or outright leave if they aren't interested in what you say.

yamb97 · 2024-11-27T22:08:18+00:00

Apart from the very obvious inability to read and mirror nonverbal cues, in my personal experience just talking to autistic guys is not a pleasant experience. Take this anecdote with a grain of salt of course, but in general I’ve noticed they tend to only want to talk about themselves and their interests. It comes off as really self-centered and rude, not the impression you want to make early in the dating phase.

ElWasHeree · 2024-11-28T02:37:43+00:00

I think more likley autism is HEAVILY masked in women. Women are raised expecting to please others and are taught this. Lots of punishments for any "acting out" or "unladylike" whilst men dont have that. At least not until they get significantly older. Thats the main reason I think, is men tend to not mask or at least no where near as heavily. This is coming from my own experience and from what ive seen with even neurotypicals from how the different sexes are raised

Get_Fuckin_Dabbed_On · 2024-11-30T05:10:16+00:00

idk i know a lot of guys on the spectrum (high functioning) and they play the field. In fact i think that the missed social cues and faux pas give them an edge because they seem more confident. These guys can't keep eye contact, talk about anime all the time, play magic the gathering and still smash.

Alana_Laseter · 2024-11-27T16:42:57+00:00

Because social skills matter when courting a woman. They matter a lot.

t_krett · 2024-11-28T12:48:08+00:00

As a side note women might not be as penalized for getting into a relationship, but it seems maintaining a relationship is harder for neurodivergent women than it is for men.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2024-11-27T05:37:46+00:00

Do they though? St work a fair few of the men are diagnosed neurodivergent ( goes hand in hand with the job really) only one is single the rest seem very happy in their relationships. Most of them talk to me a lot because of my role and I hear all kinds about their lives.

My brother is and has never had issues with dating.

My husband has recently been diagnosed

I would put money on that my dad has adhd, never had problems attracting women

I have friends whose bf/husbands are on the spectrum

griz3lda · 2024-11-27T05:54:24+00:00

The two guys I know with the highest body counts and the most charisma are both autistic. They both pick up women absolutely everywhere they go whether they want to or not. There are basically two kinds of autistics. the kind who are really socially awkward because they know they can't tell other peoples emotions, and the kind who don't give a fuck because they know they're not even gonna be able to tell if people are judging them.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-11-27T06:16:56+00:00

Is this heavy Autism new? There were some kids in boy scouts that my son was in and they are erratic, dangerous, and violent. There was not kids like this in the 80s, never seen it. Kids freaked me out, one threw a hammer across the room as hard as he could. I know it’s a spectrum but those kids freaked me out.

Grow_peace_in_Bedlam · 2024-11-27T17:42:15+00:00

Oh boy. I'm an autistic man who's happily married, and I didn't have a serious problem finding female attention when I was single. However, I feel like I would have been a slayer without my autism and the tendency that this brings to take people at their word, leaving autistic men seriously vulnerable to being bluepilled.

I feel like being part of the goth-industrial subculture where I live really helped me. In that subculture, everybody's weird, so being autistic doesn't stand out as much, plus there are built-in musical and aesthetic interests that make social interaction go a lot smoother. Once I turned 21 and could go out drinking (yay America), I got more play in that scene in one year than I got at my stuck-up college during my whole undergraduate career.

abaxeron · 2024-11-27T13:51:06+00:00

The base defines the superstructure.

When women are 18 and single, they want orgasms and not having to hold a job.

When women are 35 and single ("more mature / open minded"), they want not having to hold a job and orgasms.

Trying to sort out the reasons women don't love men, is like trying to sort an infinite pile of shit. The task is pointless long before you start it, the secret is that there is no secret; some pieces of this pile are on top (i.e. more prominent/obvious/impactful than others) just because in a random pile, some pieces must be on top by definition of a "pile". There are millions of perfectly neurotypical, slim, strong, educated, employed men with great sense of humor, fashion, and pleasant voice, who have never experienced a woman's passionate touch. Or who have, only to face the same woman in divorce court the day after the prenup expired. Or to find out that "his" children have incompatible blood types.

It is because we are men, first and foremost. This is the base that defines the superstructure. Everything else is a rounding error.

VWGUYWV · 2024-11-28T19:14:43+00:00

I have worked with several people on the spectrum. One male and one female, recently.

They are annoying as fuck and there’s no way I could be in a relationship with one.

These are STEM folks. Every person I’ve met on the spectrum enough that they don’t or can’t mask AND they are somewhat above average….think they are always right and act like they are the smartest person ever, even when they are only like top 5%. They will also correct people rudely when the other person is actually correct.

So I don’t blame women for not wanting to be around them.

Also, women hate awkward moments. It’s like their kryptonite, so this must be even worse than it would be for a man.

krayon_kylie · 2024-11-27T13:22:23+00:00

if autistic men would treat getting laid like a video game they would have more success

WhatTheyWanttoHear · 2024-11-28T02:39:17+00:00

I hate incels

Men who've never had sex in their lives are useless

Title	Why is Autism basically a contraceptive for men?
Author	AnomicAge
Upvotes	116
Comments	295
Date	November 27, 2024 4:27 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1h0w0yo/why_is_autism_basically_a_contraceptive_for_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-autism-basically-a-contraceptive-for-men.1536969 https://theredarchive.com/post/1536969

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