Do you think women's standard for a partner is bad?

NotUsedUsernameYet · 2025-10-06T20:28:22+00:00

Where did you get all that?

Women can have any standard they want. I would just prefer they be honest about that instead of telling unattractive guys that problem is their “personality”.

And I personally care about woman’s education and career a lot - among other things. My preference is dating someone in my income tax bracket (35% federal marginal tax rate).

Erdenaxela1997 · 2025-10-06T21:25:06+00:00

I'm married. In my experience, single women or women in bad relationships simply adopt appearance standards they don't meet, and to achieve this, they have to sacrifice good personality standards. Furthermore, such a woman tends to feel superior even to men she doesn't qualify for.

WebNew9978 · 2025-10-06T20:32:24+00:00

Women can have whatever standards they want. It’s just that women need to stop lying as far as what those standards. If you want to be with only the top 20% of men because of their looks and would rather stay single if you can’t be with one, just admit it. Admit that looks matter more than personality.

Primary_Mechanic_565 · 2025-10-06T20:34:19+00:00

I dont think its "bad", but I can see why its incredibly frustrating for the average man: his average counterpart is simply not interested in him.

I dont buy into the fact that women's standards are some sort of moral barometer, either. Women aren't incredibly selective because most men are bad lovers; they are selective because they can be. Men just require less from woman than vice versa.

There is also biology at play. A guy can walk through midtown Manhattan and see 100 woman over the course of a day that he'd be interested in - your average woman might have 2 guys stand out to her.

Logos1789 · 2025-10-06T20:32:18+00:00

Why do you assume that all of the men who cite and/or complain about women’s standards and the effect it has on society…think it should change?

What’s wrong with simply complaining?

r2k398 · 2025-10-06T21:15:31+00:00

No, I want them to have higher standards.

Capital_Capsicum · 2025-10-06T23:17:55+00:00

Standards are fine. Everyone should have standards.

The issue is, I don't really believe the stated standards. I'm not black pill. I don't think women only want 6'3 male models. But there are so many little unspoken details in what a women really wants.

Women that are either struggling in dating, or have issues with men in general, tend to set a high target in the hopes that it will fix whatever their dating woes are. Look for someone richer, taller, more handsome, more popular, and hope that the sparks fly with that guy.

I get it. You can't quickly and easily judge for personality traits like you can superficial traits. But funnily, if they do find someone, it's usually a pretty normal guy that they have good chemistry with. So it would just make things a lot easier if they could state what they really want.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-10-06T20:26:44+00:00

I think when you take a person who is already feeling insecure about themselves (and let’s not pretend that’s not what most these PPD issues are about) when that person is saying about what their preferences are, the other person reading is hearing it like “this is how YOU aren’t good enough for me or for anyone”

Which is not what they are saying. But if you read back their responses with the narrative of that’s what they feel people are saying, then the triggered reactions start to make a little more sense

That doesn’t excuse the fact they are acting out on things they are still feeling and NOT what is being said. It just adds a bit of clarity.

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-10-06T20:17:34+00:00

What makes men standards okay to have but women should change their standard?

Nah, I received hate DMs by women here when I mentioned the standards I had when I was single so it’s not a gendered thing. Women have been pushing for a greater range of body standards and judging men for it for quite some time now. People in general want high standards for their gender but hate it when the other gender increases their standards

But the answer to this topic has and will always been the same for me — men and women should have as high standards as they want but you don’t get the right to complain if they’re too high for what you offer

The dating market will either net you the person you want if your standards are reasonable for what you offer, you can improve yourself, or you can be single and die alone. Everybody should be free to live their own lives and make their own decisions imo

DrunkOnRamen · 2025-10-06T20:32:15+00:00

I think they are just unrealistic and unhealthy.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-10-06T20:44:26+00:00

Not bad i guess if that is what they want. Its mainly dumb to think every woman will get a man like that. When they know more attractive women exist that will take those options. Men are usually shamed more for not liking a woman for any baggage she may have or being outside of a mans preferences. So men typically have it worse then women do in general. Because yes there may be complaints of frustration but not nearly the same amount of shame that men get.

growframe · 2025-10-06T20:16:09+00:00

I don't care about them

No_Mammoth8801 · 2025-10-06T20:44:20+00:00

Generally speaking, I don't think they're very high or that bad. Women are far more at risk of serious injury and death when they have very low standards vs unrealistic high ones.

But I don't agree women are single long-term primarily due to the men around them not meeting their standards. I also see women on here try to blame the higher rates of women's singleness on the quality of men, which I don't believe is particularly accurate.

Jon_Boopin · 2025-10-06T21:01:57+00:00

Its not okay. Both are bad.

Live_Guidance7199 · 2025-10-06T23:07:14+00:00

Standards? Good.

Mathematically impossible standards? Bad at best, dangerously delusional at worst.

berichorbeburied · 2025-10-07T00:50:30+00:00

It doesn’t matter what her standard is

All that matters is if she’s sexually attractive enough for it to be worth it to reach them

I used to get mad at women and their standards because they were unattractive or just plain. And that’s what fueled my frustration. Like women that I don’t even like are making all these demands and acting like they are valuable and etc. it was the result of this that I became redpill and toxic

But when I think of or interact with women I’m attracted to. I don’t actually get mad or frustrated with what they say. Or their standards or criteria or etc.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-10-07T08:55:24+00:00

Nobody’s standards are “bad”.

The difference here is no woman is ever excluded from men’s collective attraction, while plenty of men are excluded from women’s collective attraction.

Icyfemboy · 2025-10-06T20:16:12+00:00

Have whatever standards you want no matter how out of your reach they are, just don’t whine about it when it doesn’t work out your way bc aiming for the top %10 men will only work out your way if you happen to be in a similar category, otherwise you’ll just get pumped and dumped then whine about how there’s no good men anymore on two x.

jay10033 · 2025-10-06T23:25:10+00:00

No one cares about your standards. Go seek the billionaire 6'7 guy you've been pining for. The problem is that the men you want don't want you. Your experience tells you that you don't qualify - those men don't find you attractive. Essentially, you don't meet your own standards. Then, rather than work on yourself, you complain and blame the collective "men" saying they don't meet your standards, "where are all the good men" and other stupid comments like that.

No - you just don't qualify for your standards.

Muscletov · 2025-10-06T20:41:16+00:00

I think women need a similar treatment men went through in the late 00s: a social movement that aims to make women have healthier and more realistic physical standards for men.

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-10-06T20:51:26+00:00

Here's the problem with women's standards. Now days they come off as feeling superior to the men they get approached by. And the men that they allow themselves to go for, they present themselves as if they are doing these men a favor to even interact with them. It's because society has conditioned women to over-value themselves, with ideas of women being believed to be more mature, competent, overall winners, over men.

Meanwhile, any man with at least an average IQ can understand that if he himself is in-shape, has a good career, and is doing his best to be a good guy and try to attract a good woman, but the woman who is showing him interest comes off as superior to him, as though she's doing him a favor, while she's a bit over-weight, too old, has a masculine attitude, he's not going to take her seriously. He's going wonder, "what's with this superiority complex, as if she has high standards and I barely cut it for her?"

What smart men do is wise up and finally notice the in-shape woman behind her, who has a more reasonable measure of herself.

Kapoue · 2025-10-07T00:03:37+00:00

Standards are ok as long as they make sense with who you are. That is the same for bothe men and women.

A woman wants a man who makes 250k/year while she is herself a lawyer and makes 200k. Makes sense.

A man wants a woman who has unrealistic body proportions and looks like a model while he's more ripped than 98% of people. Makes sense.

Where I roll my eyes is when a fat ugly person working at McDonald's at 35 thinks only 9/10 doctors are worth their time. You see it with men and women.

Clutterboxx · 2025-10-06T21:24:29+00:00

What makes mens standards okay to have but women should lower and adjust their's?

Women are the ones bitching about how there's no good men left to date while pursuing men clearly out of their league and making the rest jump through hoops.

Why is it wrong for women to say they that they like handsome, tall guys who are also rich

See this is the problem, men who fit the criteria of being both tall and rich are less than 5% of the male population. I'm not even talking about being handsome just being 6 feet is 15% of men, 6'3 is less than 5% of men.

Your standards by default are unrealistic and making everyone miserable.

men can say that they will always be attracted to 20 something women and her career or education dont matter?

Men's standards for women are so low all they have to do is not be ugly. Imagine if men actually started caring about your career and education, there'd be a whole army of women whining and moaning about men's unrealistic standards.

N_Count_Council · 2025-10-06T22:30:58+00:00

I think women are heavily persuaded by the Jones effect and jealousy. They view men more as trophies than actual humans. Notice how women talk about Travis Kelce like Taylor Swift just won some prize race horse? It's disgusting.

It's not that standards are bad, it's that women's view of men & relationships is bad.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-10-07T09:07:39+00:00

I think everyone can have whatever standards they want. It's just that they don't also get to complain when they fail to attract that specific type of person, they don't get to lash out on the whole gender group for not living up to those standards more. If their standards are superficial then they also shouldn't get mad when they get played due to their failure to properly vet romantic partners.

I hold both men and women to this standard. Take some accountability.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2025-10-06T20:28:35+00:00

I've said this before and I'll say it again. I have had women who were far more "conventionally" attractive than me try to force themselves on me and rip my trousers open in a public place, demanding I come home and have sex with them.

I've also been interested in women who were not remotely conventionally attractive who gave me a straight up "Ew, no!"

Women's standards are pretty much impossible to predict or work around.

Neptune-Jnr · 2025-10-06T23:42:15+00:00

Here is the thing. Men don't want you guys to have lower standards. They just want the standards to not be superficial. They want you to lower standards for stuff like earnings and height and start having standards for guys who are misogynistic and have cheated on their last 17 girlfriends. People find the standards troublesome because the way they are now is that women will let tall, rich loser ruin their life but keep out loving and good men from potential relationships.

Imagine a water filter that lets polluted water through that's what most women standards sound like right now.

Why is it wrong for women to say they that they like handsome, tall guys who are also rich but men can say that they will always be attracted to 20 something women and her career or education don't matter?

What the hell is this example? Men saying they aren't too judgy is somehow comparable to women only wanting tall rich guys? Every women in the universe who didn't die as a teenager meets the mans "Unreasonable" standards in your example. Not apart of my main point just thought it was funny.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-10-06T21:09:41+00:00

Ultimately, there is a mating system that needs to function for society to function. We still operate on monogamy as the paradigm--nobody has really come up with a functional alternative. If either gender's standards are preventing monogamy from working sufficiently well, that's a big problem. It needs fixing. Not prejudging how you fix it since that would depend. Maybe one gender's standards are reasonable and the other gender needs to level up. Maybe the standards need lowering. OFC how you truly alter a gender's standards such that they retain legitimate attraction is complicated. Not as easy as just intellectually convincing people they are too high.

AffectionateBook4803 · 2025-10-06T23:24:15+00:00

I am a man(35) in a partnership with a woman(30) and I can tell you It’s not wrong and women 100% deserve standards just like men do. I haven’t had many partners, maybe 50/60 women at most, but most of them didn’t really care all that much about looks. I’d put myself at a solid 5/6, bang on average looks, 5ft10in so bang on average height, 33k a year so pretty average for my country, I am the definition of an average man. The problem isn’t that women have standards, the problem is, men and women both, look online, take tik tok for example, maybe 1/5 of the population use it, and of those 1/5, 1/100000 subscribe to these high standards, but do we hear about about the other 99999? No. Because the 99999 are happy, in healthy relationships and happy to be so. What you see is so skewed by the bottom dregs of society failing to find a partner, that they protect their ego by over inflating their standards and then men see this and get irate because their ego is hurt so it’s easier to pretend all women have stupidly high standards than it is to look at themselves and their behaviour and make positive changes.

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wtknight · 2025-10-06T23:37:54+00:00

I think that they are bad for some women when they think they are much more attractive than they actually are, and they are therefore only attracted to men way out of their league. But I don't think that women being slightly hypergamous and expecting a man to impress her somewhat in order to be attracted to him is a bad thing.

catdog8020 · 2025-10-06T23:47:17+00:00

Women should never have low standards just realistic standards lol 😂

Quealpedoestoy · 2025-10-07T00:23:32+00:00

IMO, women are aplying outdated standards for men.

They want a provider, but with the current global economy only a very small percentage of men can support a house by himself, just to give an example.

Also, the 6666 (sixpack, six feet tall, six digit income and 6+ inches) standard is only unreasonable if they are not the female equivalent of that.

Redditcritic6666 · 2025-10-07T00:30:08+00:00

Why is it wrong for women to say they that they like handsome, tall guys who are also rich but men can say that they will always be attracted to 20 something women and her career or education dont matter?

Because when men said the same thing like how they like beautiful, skinny and a girl with a heart of gold , young and caring... women would say what they want is misgonistic, sexist, and unrealistic as well.

and the sad part is that both parties are actually right and wrong at the same time. There's nothing wrong with wanting their ideal partners to have these traits... but depending on your own qualification... partners with these traits are most likely out of your reach. For example multiple videos have shown with stastics that a men who has 666, (six figure salaries, at least 6 feet tall, and have a 6 pack .. according to chatgpt is below:

Men who earn 6-figure salaries ($100,000+ per year)

This varies greatly by country, but globally:

Fewer than 10% of men earn $100K+ annually.

In the U.S., it's about 15–20% of individual male earners (but skewed toward older professionals in high-cost areas).

Global estimate: ~1–5% of men earn $100K+.

Men who are 6 feet (183 cm) or taller

Global male average height: ~5'7" (170 cm)

In the U.S., about 14.5% of adult men are 6'0" or taller.

In most countries (especially in Asia, Latin America), the number is much lower.

Global estimate: ~5% of men are ≥6 feet tall.

Men with a visible 6-pack (very low body fat)

This requires a body fat percentage of ~10–12% or lower, which is not common without serious training and diet.

Even among gym-goers, visible abs are rare.

It’s estimated that <5% of men have a true 6-pack.

Estimate: ~1–5% of men.

Final Estimate: Men who meet all three criteria

To get a ballpark number, multiply the probabilities:

𝑃

𝑃 ( 6-figure ) × 𝑃 ( 6 ft ) × 𝑃 ( 6-pack ) P=P(6-figure)×P(6 ft)×P(6-pack)

Using conservative mid-range estimates:

3% earn $100K+

5% are ≥6 ft

4% have 6-packs

0.03×0.05×0.04=0.00006=0.006% ✅ Final Estimate: 0.005–0.01% of men (between 1 in 10,000 to 1 in 20,000)

This is a tiny fraction of the male population. In the U.S., that's maybe 10,000–20,000 men tops, and globally it's still extremely rare.

I can't speak for all men.. or even most men.. but i don't think most men are "mad" that women have standards... or men aren't even mad when in the dating world that women are rejecting men because they have these high standards.. often when they don't have good qualification themselves... but they just want to point out the double standards that exist and that women often complain about "the lack of good men" without having an introspective look at themselves... at least when men got rejected... they are told to work on themselves. Meanwhile women that complain about the lack of quality men thinks they are all Queens and deserves only the best.

James_M_Croft · 2025-10-07T01:35:09+00:00

Women just suck at being perceptive be it of their own surroundings or themselves.

Women can choose whatever, but being so wrong about themselves, and their surroundings? Lol it has a limit.

It is as some say "Do not assign to malice, what can be explained by incompetence, but enough incompetence is indistinguishable from malice"

Southern_Source_2580 · 2025-10-07T01:35:47+00:00

No, we all have standards, what isn't good is women being hypergamous to the point of conning a guy she doesn't hold that standard to to raise a bastard unknowingly from said men she does have that standard for. If you're in any way in favor of this then you're the problem and simply hide behind the woman card that women can't be fallible human beings.

SexCrispies · 2025-10-07T06:56:02+00:00

None of the major (known to me) subgroups of the manosphere has a problem with women saying they like attractive men. That is a no brainer. Men like attractive men. Men like attractive women. Children like attractive adults. That is just our biology.

Now, when it comes to "lowering standards", that is not with respect to what someone likes, but with respect to what someone accepts as a partner. We obviously cannot all be in relationships with attractive people of the other sex. Since everyone wants attractive people, what happens is assortative mating. Which leads to people only being able (on average) to get partners who are about as attractive as themselves (or more correct: about same mate value).

What part of the manosphere cries about, is that in its perception, women are rejecting to take men who are on their mate level as partners and rather aspire to mate with men who have higher mate value than them. This works for dates or casual sex, but not for long term committed partners. The manosphere falsely assumes, that any relevant number of women, for any relevant amount of time, rejects to mate with their equals in mate value. Which is not true. Women and men adjust their standards, requirements for a long term partner, until it results in mating success, which is when it's around their own mate value.

The problem arises from looking only at very young individuals, who still are in the process of figuring out their mate value, building their mate value, are not pressed for long term mating success, are not even looking for long term mates but short term ones, are very vocal about their high standards, are hiding a lack of mating success by claiming it's because nobody matches their standards, or from exclusively looking at skewed mating markets (sex ratio) like online dating apps, or for looking at people who are long term single for being bad at adjusting their mate value issues.

The overwhelming majority of men and women will pick partners of their mate value, when they are looking for long term partners. There are tons of studies on that.

Also, if people think that others have too high standards and should actually lower them, to date those people, this might me be more of a sign that those people have a wrong understanding about their mate value and who they should be able to date.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-10-07T07:05:59+00:00

It's the double-standards we have issues with.

Open-Quail-2573 · 2025-10-07T07:28:09+00:00

Women's standards are bad. One, they are irrationally high. I've explained the concept of "hoeflation" before and everyone knows it by now and why it's a thing in the modern era. Also, women say they filter for good traits like kindness, good worth ethic, emotional intelligence but I don't think that's true at all. You guys still fall for looks, height, money, etc, the most. Generally speaking.

Logical_Breadfruit49 · 2025-10-07T07:45:11+00:00

It's only bad if she holds her husband to different standards than the men she has casual sex with. Because then that husband is just a beta bux.

firetrap2 · 2025-10-07T08:13:12+00:00

Are any given individual women's standards bad?

No, have what ever standards you like.

Are women's standards unreasonable?

No, I think it's fine to want a partner you're attracted to and this generation largely grew up with a provider father and likely they're more educated than their mothers and so expect a guy who can provide at least as well as their dad did.

Are womens standards realistic given the state of modern dating allowing attractive men access to huge numbers of women and with an economy that makes it incredibly unlikely a man in his 20s can provide what a men in his 20s could provide in the 90s?

Absolutely not. Most highly eligible men will pick variety over quality and the less eligible men think expecting them to be able to support a family on a single income is way too much work and so effectively check out and tech has made this an increasingly attractive idea for men who feel undesired.

Hi-Road · 2025-10-07T10:59:23+00:00

Why do some women get mad and offended when a guy says wants he wants a pretty, mentally stable girl that ain’t for the streets? Same thing

SomeGift9250 · 2025-10-07T19:43:11+00:00

Can we not like overweight, outspoken, masculine, high body count women? Then deal.

Routine_Condition273 · 2025-10-07T22:02:45+00:00

Because women routinely go for "bad boys" and are completely blind to warning signs of an abuser even when they're explicitly pointed out to them.

Women have way too high of physical standards but incredibly poor standards when it comes to personality.

Men's standards are practically nonexistent. The few standards we occasionally have usually have to do with whether or not she'd treat us right.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-10-09T19:54:37+00:00

Nothing wrong at all.

That's why I am 6'4", hit the gym, make high six figures, have a boat on Lake Tahoe, drive a Lamborghini, etc.....

I want what I want and get it.

You do you booboo.

GrandpaDallas · 2025-10-06T20:49:03+00:00

From the women I speak with, no, I don't think their standards are bad. I don't meet many who have unrealistic standards. I can't even say I meet any who say things like "they like handsome, tall guys who are also rich." Most talk about how they want to be treated, not about their bank account.

The standards I see are realistic, and firm. I think many men fall below them which can make them seem high

wideHippedWeightLift · 2025-10-06T21:27:12+00:00

I support women having high standards

I don't think "he must be white and tall" is a high standard, it's just terrible judgement.

SteveSan82 · 2025-10-06T22:53:31+00:00

Women’s standards are not realistic. The men they want either don't exist or those men do not want her.

No man cares about your education except maybe a high school degree. Anything further no one cares.

Only men who care about you having a career are hobosexuals looking to use you for your money. Men with careers don’t need a woman with a career. He needs dinner when he gets home.

Tall handsome rich guys only marry young virgins and they tell her what to do. And the only reason they marry is to have kids. They usually still sleep with other women.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-10-06T20:39:27+00:00

No. Women should have high standards. Everyone should in my opinion.

As for sex, I don't see anything wrong with a little effort. Sure just showing up is nice sometimes but I like being outside as much as women. It's nothing to treat someone to drinks or a meal before fucking. People think that isn't casual because you brought her a drink but that's stupid.

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-10-06T21:39:19+00:00

It feels like the same way an average woman would choose a relationship is about how I would pick a hookup. The feelings are pretty transactional, and there aren’t really any signs she’d still like me if I couldn’t do a bunch of stuff for her. Tinder is incredibly prone to this (your looks alone will be 90% of your success as a guy, other factors simply don’t matter, and your match’s personalities will feel random), but even women in daily life can be like this. It’s just easier to talk to them because I’m the only guy talking to them, instead of 100 guys.

I’d rather just date my physically healthy Tinder looks match who earns 6 figures, than some broke model whose looks might be significantly faded within 5 years. It’ll help reduce hard feelings if divorce happens, they’ll probably be more physically attracted to me, my financial life will be great as long as the relationship continues, etc.

Good looks, money, personality, lifestyle, social life, etc. are mostly important to me because I don’t want to waste my life on someone who might lose their feelings for me anyway

Title	Do you think women's standard for a partner is bad?
Author	Jazzlike-Lifeguard38
Upvotes	27
Comments	385
Date	October 6, 2025 8:10 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1nztwf7/do_you_think_womens_standard_for_a_partner_is_bad/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-womens-standard-for-a-partner-is-bad.1563573 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563573

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