A lot of the complaints women have about how men communicate with them are real. Mansplaining, victim blaming, lack of tact. Fair observations. But here's the thing nobody wants to say out loud, men do all of these things to each other constantly and it's just called conversation.

Mansplaining at its core is performing expertise to someone who doesn't need it. Men do this to each other relentlessly. A man will explain basketball to Michael Jordan. A man will explain investing to someone who's been doing it for thirty years. When men receive this from each other they engage push back, ignore it, or clown the guy for it.

Victim blaming is essentially an I told you so. A teaching moment delivered without cushioning. Men are brutal with each other about this. You trusted the wrong person, You made a bad financial decision, whose fault is that. Men absorb this, laugh about it, and move on. When the same mechanism gets applied to women it becomes a systemic problem. The mechanism is identical. The cushioning expected around it is not.

Lack of tact is just male communication. Your haircut looks terrible. That was a stupid decision. She's out of your league. Men say this to each other's faces, in public, without managing anyone's emotional response. It gets received as honesty.