Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2021-11-04T02:00:11+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

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First of all PPD women aren’t normal or representative. Don’t get your ideas about women from here

Women love true crime because violence is interesting. There’s a reason why they put it into TV shows and movies for men; it’s human nature to be unable to look away. Women like the psychology behind crime more than men do (they’re 70% of psych majors). That’s why they listen to true crime podcasts but don’t seek out gory movies

They watch the handmaids tale because it’s about women and the ways only women can suffer, the kinds of suffering their grandmothers knew. I don’t watch the show but everything in the book happened at some point in human history

The minority of women who watch porn like degrading porn but the majority of women don’t watch porn regularly. That should tell you more about women, huh?

The last 2 points have more to do with corporate wokeism than they do about female nature. Most women don’t identify as feminist (depending on the study)

[–]ChibsFilipTelfordd2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0011 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Women love true crime because violence is interesting. There’s a reason why they put it into TV shows and movies for men; it’s human nature to be unable to look away. Women like the psychology behind crime more than men do (they’re 70% of psych majors). That’s why they listen to true crime podcasts but don’t seek out gory movies

Women love violence where women are the victims. Men love violence where men are the victors. It's nothing to do with 'psychology', otherwise horror movies wouldn't be so popular with women.

They watch the handmaids tale because it’s about women and the ways only women can suffer, the kinds of suffering their grandmothers knew. I don’t watch the show but everything in the book happened at some point in human history

They literally went through history and cherry picked the worst suffering women went through, ensured that is was always men as the perpetrator, and then salivate over it. It's straight up porn for women.

The minority of women who watch porn like degrading porn but the majority of women don’t watch porn regularly. That should tell you more about women, huh?

Yeah, porn's too fake for them, apparently only real violence satiates their bloodlust. Off to the true crime stories...

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Kaisha0012 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If men loved violence where men are the victors they’d be listening to the same shit women do. Men are the winners in all those stories

No they aren't. It's always some loser man who drunkely killed his wife, or some dumb shit like that. Then he goes to jail while all the women cry about how bad they have it... Not once do they ask WHY they stuck with a clearly violent man for 10 years.

The worst female suffering in human history has been inflicted by men.

Not exclusively.

Up until very recently no women had control over the inside of her body.

Not true.

The Handmaids Take is about terrible and eternal truths of being female. It’s the kinda stuff our grandmothers warned us about while our brothers were playing outside

No, it's feminist outrage porn. Entirely fictional, never happened, and has women getting so wet they're sliding off their seat.

The fact that women love victimhood porn, and actively seek out violent and aggressive men, paints a very disturbing picture...

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[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RDelbsonKyle is a hero | Pronouns: Letsgo and Brandon -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

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[–]RDelbsonKyle is a hero | Pronouns: Letsgo and Brandon -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]RDelbsonKyle is a hero | Pronouns: Letsgo and Brandon 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChibsFilipTelforddSimp for high-N women 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]RDelbsonKyle is a hero | Pronouns: Letsgo and Brandon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I have access to the article. There is no evidence. No videos, no photographs.

All of the quotes showcase the girls making moves on him. Trying to get his attention. One girl posted a sign outside her house saying "free pizza and pussy come in dave!"

This is what happens when you're a famous man. Some crazy women will try to go after you.

Here's an example:

"I mean actually this ones kind of common," she wrote. "Like a rape fantasy, where I don't have any control of what's going on."

"You and I are going to get along so well," he responded.

"But I will say, in order to do that one I have to be pretty comfortable with you," Madison said.

"Of course," Portnoy said, and he bought her a first-class plane ticket to visit him at his $2.2 million Nantucket home.

The trip was a "traumatic experience," Madison told Insider.

She wanted to live out a rape fantasy, she lived it out, then regretted it. Boo-hoo.

[–]Devourer_of_felines 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (40 children) | Copy Link

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[–]SonicBackScratcherGreen Eyed Member of the LGBFJB community 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]SonicBackScratcherGreen Eyed Member of the LGBFJB community 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Key word is assume. Lets go to the fundies friend, the bible!

the husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. (1 Corinthians 7:3–4 ESV)

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.

The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

Just several different translations and versions to show its not a thing.

The issue here is that while current culture focuses on the women "not being in control of her body" the same applies to the man.

If we want to play the assumption game it can go the other way too and assume a culture where sex isn't first and foremost in what is important and trying out kinks isn't considered healthy might have better sex lives since you don't have as much chance for couple deviations or sexual habituation.

This is a common problem I've read and experienced as a "sex positive" guy. Stuff that would turn me on completely is now literally "its ok". When you've been in threesomes, 4 somes, orgies, been in rooms with 100 people having sex, seen 1000's naked, tried and done it all, its harder and harder (no pun intended), to get really turned on. I remember the first woman I saw naked, I've had sex with people who's faces I don't remember.

Then you get conflict. Lets say I want to be the degenerate I am, I ask my wife, she says "No way in hell". So now we have a very common conflict on reddit sexually. He/she wants something the other doesn't it becomes a area of resentment, and online you get people telling you "don't" and a whole other group saying "She/he is wrong for not letting you explore your true self". Doesn't sound like the makings of a happy sex life.

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The kind of men I’m attracted to hasn’t ever really changed. I’m even more attracted to my husband with time if anything, because the emotional bond we have is so much stronger. It’s why I’m still attracted to him even though he is aging. I probably wouldn’t have been attracted to a 45 year old when I was 20! But when I see him now, my heart flutters. I don’t think this is unusual, my girl friends have talked to me about their husbands the same way.

Being bored can happen to anyone, not just women. Luckily, it’s possible to introduce new things to the bedroom! My husband is very creative in that department, when we get a bit bored with what we are doing, he always has some new idea to try. (I have some too, just not as many!) Until we both run out of ideas I don’t think that’ll be a problem.

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[–]neverWrong521 points 4 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

I didn’t say women want harems. I said women get bored and crave the emotional excitement of a sexual encounter with a new guy.

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Honestly I'm absolutely shocked nobody I can think off the top of my head that I know has died due to covid.

Unfortunately, I know more than I care to. In September I went home to visit my parents only to find out that my favorite neighbor was in ICU and died a few days after I returned.

Hopefully people are considerate of the difficulty the pandemic has caused others.

That’s my only contention. Some people are wildly inconsiderate and incendiaringly dispassionate. People are grieving and their only response is “fuck that random person I bet they were fat or had asthma huh?? Their deaths and you talking about your experience is political!!! 🤬😤” like ???

All that being said, I do appreciate that I also live in one of the most heavily vaccinated areas in the country.

It’s light and day. Where I live. Heavily vaccinated and higher QOL. When I talk to my parents and my gf’s parents not so much.

I will say my gf’s parents live in a part of the country that’s demonstrably healthier and more active and with less stressful jobs. My parents don’t. Working class, lower QOL, un vaxxed, stressful lives/jobs, and less healthy ppl are being hit hardest IMO.

[–]WestsideMoonWalker2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yea I know some people have been greatly affected. I can't even think of any severe cases in people I know though. It helps that my parents basically wrapped my grandma in bubble wrap before she was able to be vaccinated though. At least my own family and all my relatives seem to have done a good job of being overly cautious.

People are dicks though (and not like, the good cheap burger kind). Like, honestly, even if someone has comorbidities, so fucking what. That doesn't make them less human, or less worthy of life. It's still tragic they died. And it's not like everyone can control the issues there body throws at them. People can't choose not to get cancer or an autoimmune disease or whatever else. Even in the case of obesity, I don't think it's really a choice when it often is caused due to outside factors and economic incentives and whatnot.

That last part all rings true as well.

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You hear "30 year old died" with no mention the guy was obese with type II diabetes and a history CHF.

Just because you don’t care when people around you die doesn’t mean others don’t.

Or rather just because you can’t fathom why I’d be unnerved by the death and sickness in close proximity to me doesn’t mean I’m not affected.

I’ve never had anyone I know die from the flu.

I’ve never experienced anyone going to ICU for a cold or flu.

You are such a callous person. It didn’t even cross your mind that maybe I’m sad about our family friend, freaked out about my gf’s father, and it didn’t help that my sister posted about our friend’s child’s father passing all while we’re dealing with this other stuff.

Try not to be a dick.

Your brain thinks it’s all about “politics” when ppl are having tough weeks and months.

You not caring doesn’t change the fact that EYE CARE about shit in MY OWN life.

This is the second time you’ve done this in 24 hours. We know you don’t care about things that don’t affect you but what I can’t fucking understand is how you don’t understand that people care about things that affect them.

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Just because you don’t care when people around you die doesn’t mean others don’t.

No it means I have a sense of proportion and am not ruled by emotions. People die all the time, lets put this plague in perspective eh?

Do you care for example for the children who have died taking the vaccine? or are those "acceptable losses" for you?

I’ve never had anyone I know die from the flu.

120k in 2018 in the US.

I’ve never experienced anyone going to ICU for a cold or flu.

LA hospitals were beyond capacity for the flu in 2018.

You are such a callous person

No I'm practical, you are inexperienced, young and have no idea what you are really talking about. For POLITICAL reasons people are pushing this fear on other people, not safety, and its pissing me off. Don't post this shit if you don't want someone who actually knows better to respond.

Try not to be a dick.

You brought up covid baby, not me. The dick didn't come out outside of questioning, you don't have to like it.

We know you don’t care about things that don’t affect you

Your own words...

I’ve never had anyone I know die from the flu.

You are a hypocrite.

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100%? Really? Lets say my house burns down because of a gas leak I didn't cause, I'm in control of that? Or lets say I'm diagnosed with a brain tumor, did I choose that? I was in control of that somehow? There's no outside forces whatsoever that dictate how a life goes? Really?

We didn't choose our genetics, we didn't choose our neurochemistry, we didn't choose where we got a primary education, we didn't choose the people or influences around us as adolescents and teenagers. Essentially everything that goes into making a human the way they are was not the choice of that human, and that includes the prevailing social and political structures of the time, which do absolutely influence the well being, thoughts and opportunities of said humans.

Boomers seriously have fuckin worms in their brains.

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Except it really isn't. Whether or not youre adept at socializing is not up to you, and socialization tends to be a feedback loop. If you notice you suck at socializing, and/or socializing is constantly make you feel bad because of negative inputs from those around you, you tend to do less of it. If you're not prone to socializing, and you're naturally shy, you're going to do less of it, and being good is going to be an uphill battle. None of these factors you control. How much someone wants to socialize is up to brain chemistry and prior causes, and no one controls that.

Not to mention that most people don't even get chances to appropriately socialize until college. If you grow up in a small town, hell, even a large town, you socialize in environments chosen for you. You don't choose the people around you or who you get to socialize with given the circumstances. There is no 'control' or 'choice' here, it comes down to causes you had no input in.

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[–]MLEMisafunnyword2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Wow, very convincing. I don't see where 'choice' is coming from here. You just saying "you choose stuff" is not convincing, nor an argument.

Have you ever heard of feral children? There's a few cases of kids being locked in rooms for their entire lives with no input from the outside world. After they were rescued, there was no amount of therapy that could save their brains -- they were totally locked in permanent retardation, because their inputs from the outside world did not exist. Everything we learn in adolescence is literally what makes humans human. If you don't get appropriate socializing inputs, you don't learn to socialize. There is a giant gradient here. Hopefully you can understand that. But how you socialize throughout your adolescence directly causes how you socialize as an adult. Feral children are a good example of this.

I believe in cause and effect, so that's really what you're arguing against. If someone stays in, there are very many causes to that action. There are very many causes to most social effects. Precisely zero of those causes are "chosen" by you.

'You choose to stay in surroundings that lead you to the path you choose' doesn't make sense. What paths did you choose? When did this choice start? Because it's not in adolescence. What about your life did you 'choose'? Once again, you did not choose where you were educated, or your brain chemistry, or your genetics, or the people around you, or anything about your environment whatsoever. So you didn't and no one "chooses their path", you are given a path based on prior causes and inputs, and those causes and inputs impact future thoughts and actions.

[–]NalkaNalka1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]MLEMisafunnyword1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Why? Feral children have the same brain as normal humans. Inputs and causes create what happens with human brains. You don't "choose" those inputs or causes. If you think you do, you believe in physics breaking magic. There is no difference.

So do children in Sub Saharan Africa 'choose' to be born in poverty? Do they get the same opportunities and environment as Princeton kids with rich parents? Don't you think those environments and opportunities influence them in huge ways?

You clearly do not "choose" anything about yourself or your environment. This is not really arguable, it is an intrinsic truth about human beings. So when do you magically get 'choice' according to you? When do you magically get to break cause and effect? What, you turn 18 and then the magical choice spirit in your body suddenly rises up, and all those prior causes suddenly have no impact in how you are as a person? Really? Because that's the essence of what you're saying.

Again, I don't see how you 'choose' these things if they are caused by environment and genetics and other factors. Those other factors are the ultimate determining factors as to how you socialize.

Also I socialize just fine, this isn't about me lol. I never said anything about my socialization or anything about myself at all, so that's a pretty shit bad faith assumption on your part.

[–]NalkaNalka1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Children in sub sahara africa have no problems socializing. Stop with the excuses. Feral children, african children etc. Stop trying to use them as an excuse for grown ass american men.

Evan if you grew up introverted and socially anxious. You can lean into it and shut yourself off from the world or you can choose to work in a job that gives you lots of social experience like a bartender or salesman, you can choose to go to meetups, and join communities you can choose to do therapy or join a theater group and work through your issues. You can choose to go backpacking and stay in communal hostels, you can force yourself to socialize until it becomes second nature.

You don't get to choose where you start in life but once you are an adult you can build to life you want.

Nobody said it was easy.

[–]MLEMisafunnyword1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I didn't ask if they had problems socializing, I asked if they had different aspects to their socialization than Princeton kids. The answer is: yes. And there's tons of different American kids. Kids in 90's Compton didn't receive the same kind of socialization as Harvard kids. And when we look at how those kids turned out, well, it shouldn't be a shocker.

Again, you saying "you can choose" isn't an argument. What you think feels like a "choice" to me is an illusion, based on prior states. I do not believe humans "choose" their thoughts. Thoughts just happen in the mind, based on prior states. You do not "choose" what to think, thinking happens to you.

Thoughts come from somewhere. They are caused. they come from prior states, from things that already existed, like books and movies and teachers and environments and inputs outside of yourself. You can't conjure thoughts, thoughts are conjured based on neurochemicals and electricity in your brain, which you have zero control over. If you think otherwise, you are literally admitting you don't believe in cause and effect, and have lost the plot.

So once you're 18 you magically get a choice spirit in your tummy. That's your argument. Okee dokee. I guess all those prior states didn't influence exactly how you were somehow, even though every human is literally just a bundleof prior states. But not once they're 18 apparently! When you're 18, none of that matters and you can "choose" now, and you make thoughts appear by controlling the electricity and neurochemicals and dendrites and axons in your own head! What an argument man.

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[–]MLEMisafunnyword1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

How about you go read actual material on this instead of insults?

You are your thoughts? How so? You have a physical body, which arent thoughts. That's a pretty huge difference. Thoughts are just information in your head. Brains are information processing systems. Those thoughts come from somewhere, unless you think we augur them in from nothingness, in which case you believe in magic. Thoughts (information in the heads of human brains) are caused. Dont agree? You believe in magic, then.

We dont know what consciousness is really. I recommend Godel Escher Bach by Douglas Hofstadter, as I believe he has come the closest to a good explanation. It's sister book, I Am a Strange Loop, has many wonderful and sensible explanations as well.

Again, this isnt about me. My social life is going quite well. You dont seem to have any actual arguments, and would rather just minimize what pretty much every cognitive scientist already knows: that we dont have freedom of choice, or at least much less than we think we do.

Also talking about where thoughts come from has nothing to do with existence, or the other banal shit you said. You're just trying to minimize a valid point because you have no argument. All you have is a deeply ingrained naive belief and magical thinking.

Also also you dont know what ennui means, or existential, since zero percent of what I said has anything to do with either of those things. Way to prove youre a philistine.

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[–]MLEMisafunnyword1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

No, I edited for it to say 'directly or indirectly' ... either way, how do you indirectly "control' something? That's an incomprehensible statement. It makes no sense. If it's indirect, you're not doing it lmao. How do you indirectly control something? The word 'control' implies that it is direct. As a verb, it means determine the behavior or supervise the running of. How do you supervise your brain or thoughts indirectly? Like, dude, that is fucking psychobabble baby gibberish.

Okay, tell me about those fields, genius. Can't wait. 'Fields of neurobiology' ... lmao... You mean, like, neurobiology? Why don't you go look up Robert Sapolsky, he teaches neurobiology at Standford and is one of the world's preeminent cognitive scientists. Guess what he thinks about free will? Lol. This is pretty much true of every head of neuroscience at every major university in the world.

Someone decides. Right there. That decision comes from a thought. Those thoughts are not in your control. They might happen to you, but you don't make them happen. That's not choice. That's not "control".

Not sure how it's irrelevant when the OP comment I was responding to was about "controlling" everything in your life lmao.

[–]NalkaNalka1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

If you can't even understand indirect influence and control then I'm wasting my time with you.

It's not like there are entire fields dedicated to studying the use of habits to control behavior, or how sleep, exercise, and eating choices can control your neurology and are crucial for making life changes stick.

Never heard of changing your environment and how that effects your thought processes, choosing who you hang out with and how that effects your mental process? No? nevermind then.

See, it's a waste of time. You just want to dogmatically repeat "there is no free will" in some theoretical abstract sense and ignore all the ways people can shape their thought process and their lives though conscious choice.

It's a lazy cop out for people who want to feel better about not making the most of their lives because "oh well nothing I can do, I'm just a puppet, there is no free will, nothing I can do, I'll just take the path of least resistance while trying to infect everyone else with the same toxic defeatist attitude.

[–]MLEMisafunnyword1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Seems like you can't even explain what it means clearly, aka it's gibberish.

It's not like there are entire fields dedicated to studying the use of habits to control behavior, or how sleep, exercise, and eating choices can control your neurology and are crucial for making life changes stick.

This has nothing to do with having free will or not. It has nothing to do with "control". Changes can be made. It doesn't mean you are controlling anything. Which "fields of neurobiology" is this again? Lmao.

Never heard of changing your environment and how that effects your thought processes, choosing who you hang out with and how that effects your mental process? No? nevermind then.

Oh, the environment you didn't choose? Oh, the people you didn't choose. Wow, so much choice!

I'm just a puppet, there is no free will, nothing I can do, I'll just take the path of least resistance while trying to infect everyone else with the same toxic defeatist attitude

.I never said this, and I actually said many times that people can change. That doesn't mean there's free will, and it doesn't mean you have control, and these changes are still made with processes that control us since brains are physical systems tied to the laws of physics. You have yet to explain the gibberish you said about 'indirect control' or the 'fields of neurobiology', and refuse to listen to experts like Sapolsky. If you refuse to listen to experts in the field, yeah, you are a magical thinker with beliefs you can't back up.

Not believing in free will isn't defeatist, it's just actually true. I even said people can change their sociality, they just don't control that change. Maybe try actually reading what I said, which is about control, and nowhere did I say people can't change. Just that it's very difficult and they have an uphill battle against them, and its even more difficult if they have a psycho-social disorder that literally prevents them from doing so (aspergers, anti-social personality disorder, etc) *neither of which is their fault. The difference in my thinking and yours is that I don't blame or hate humans for their faults, and realize it is brain mechanisms making this way, while you want to blame the human for things they didn't choose and lay platitudes at their feet like "just change bro"

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Into the Inkwell 01

I’m a lot more sad than I let on.

My oldest friend told me I’ve always seemed like a happy person. I know he’s not the only person to feel this way either. I’d like to think I’m kind, and know I’m pretty generous. I’m glad people perceive me this way. I want to be seen this way. I want to be someone that gives others hope, cheer them up, make them happy, and or inspire them. But happy is far from what I’d describe myself as of late. When I am that big hearted person people see me as, I’m not faking it. I just don’t show the bad, or at least try not to.

Not many people know about the thoughts that trouble me on a regular basis, and how they affect me. Some people would never understand, and even if they did, I wouldn’t want them to worry about me.

I’ll be okay. It seems like it’s been so long since I’ve been content, but I know I’ll get back.

[–]-Giga-8 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

My oldest friends know me like yours know you. What I learned from that and my experience as "Giga" online is that I didn't know me as much as I thought until I started to share unencumbered and look at the truth of my own life where I felt safe to.

You don't feel safe to do this. And it shows. Its not that you're faking, its that one side of you is overdeveloped (the one that complies and takes on everyone elses stuff with good intent) and another, meaningful side of you has been long repressed. Its eating you alive as far as I can tell.

Now you're on PPD saying vague things to try it on for size. Keep doing that until you find the strength to do it offline with people who can see you.

Yes, you can become content again but that will never come from repression.

I hope it works out so you will be okay, irl, where it counts.

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[–]-Giga-4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

if your beliefs and values align with the status quo and popular narrative then? Isn't that convenient?

Be less vague.

Are you asking why women who want a different establishment arent also retards pretending they live in the world they want instead of the world that is?

I'm for nuclear families, love, reciprocity, and equality.

Doesn't mean I don't cackle while calling the male police on an aggressive giant male or squee when a woman gets the bag. A lot of y'all scammers like to troll women into doubting their idealism when in reality, the world they envision and the world that IS will likely not happen in their lifetime. Tiny wins that the women before us never got to see got us here. On Reddit. Watching men seethe over the dumbest shit.

All these women can do is make do. And I say this as someone who isn't sitting with left-wing women like that. The process is simple:

Vote accordingly, vet ruthlessly, reward men who behave, and let the rest eat shit.

What are you not getting. Please provide examples.

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Expectations play a huge part in happiness.

Yes. You go back to 1950, the average woman did not expect whirlwind romance. She wanted to get married and have some kids. She hoped that her husband might earn more than her friends' and sisters' husbands, so she could have nicer stuff and lord it over them, and similarly that her kids would be cuter and/or more talented. If your home and family was nicer than that of most of your social circle, you were probably pretty damned happy!

Status in the female social matrix was the thing back then. A husband was an incidental; some guy you had to keep around to pay the bills. Women lived in fear of being abandoned and unable to support themselves in the style to which they had become accustomed, so they were obliged to appease their husbands, but that was often as far as it went.

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So I'm friends with my ex. I mean proper friends - I think of her more as a friend now than as an old romantic partner. It's nice.

But there's an observation that I need to get out into the world that I can't make to any of my mates because they're all big drama queens who will read something into it that isn't there:

Her choice of partner is strange.

I had to end the relationship in late 2019 after 10 years together because our views on children had drifted. We both started as childfree, but by year 9 she started leaning towards maybe wanting kids, then definitely wanting kids, then wanting kids NOW. I considered it, but ultimately it's not the life for me. I know myself, and I'd be on the phone to the McCanns asking for recommendations for tapas restaurants after the first six months.

She's now with a 57 year old guy, and they just announced their second pregnancy. It's a real strange choice in my eyes: she's 30 and would still be considered very good looking by most, works a professional job and earns a good living, while he's a completely average older dude who still lives in rented accomodation and earns minimum wage packing orders in an Amazon warehouse.

It's just weird to me. I'm glad she's happy, but... wow.

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What was the crux of her OP? The body of the post is deleted.

These two replies to the deleted OP seem to highlight the frustrations bi ppl have with both:

From a bi man:

I sort of feel the opposite as a bi-male.

With women, I can get a really good read on if they like me, they like my jokes, get my sense of humour, etc. With men, as much as I enjoy their cock and sex, the intimacy is a bit lacking to me. I want more communication, more cuddling, etc. I get what women are saying about how guys can be so non-expressive.

From a bi woman:

Its soooo hard dating women as a bisexual woman. I can’t even find them, and when I do, it requires so much effort. Every one has tried to seriously date without getting to know me. Then dating men are like dating a well trained dog. Is there an in between?

As a bi woman currently dating a woman I can say the following:

women seem to more easily be a source of intimacy, sensuality, effortless mutual consideration, and comfort
I’ve been told by male partners that I’m not as emotionally expressive as they want, but my gf is super emotionally expressive and it honestly feels very HIGH HIGHS and LOW LOWS. I can say I think men are easier to deal with but also not as rewarding. But there’s something to be said about the easier lol.
Men pull off animalistic “ravage me” sex better, just ya know the sheer size and strength and testosterone differential. Also men’s size and strength and capacity for protection feels safer in a dangerous environment.

Tradeoffs!

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Why would I be going after him then? He doesn't like me that much.

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It just means he's not interested the way I am. 🤷

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How do I know I'm interested in him? All I know is he is attractive. I know nothing else.

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He is just a pathetic balding, old dude with nothing satisfying enough in his life apparently except staying up late sharpening his blade to apply to “women” (clearly stand ins for girls who rejected him in his youth) to carve out some kind of limp dick, fake name, beanie (wtf I’m bald!) and choker necklace wearing internet “red pill” og “intellectual” guru with aspirations far beyond his abilities. Most ridiculous of all of them. And that’s saying something!

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No man that’s satisfied with his life experiences creates a fake identity with a sole focus on the supposed weakness and repugnance of women.

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Because I enjoy masturbating, too, I don’t want only sex, I need that time with just myself sometimes also. I don’t mind if he also wants that. Also I know how what gets my husband off and what kind of porn he he watches. It’s honestly not so much about how hot a woman is, but more about the actions happening. I mean, he probably wouldn’t watch a super ugly woman, but I wouldn’t say they are all hotter than me, they look all kinds of different ways. He just searches by keywords of his kinks and watches ones that aren’t too short - so he didn’t pick anything out based on the hotness of a woman. And some of it is animated, mangas, or written erotica. I do all this same stuff with porn, except I lean more towards erotica than videos, and we each respect each other having this time. We occasionally watch porn during sex, too.

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[–]Kaisha0013 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]kittenated2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]kittenated3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's possible that women are projecting aspects of their own sexuality on men and not understanding how flexible male desire is. It's probably harder for women to be exposed to men that are the best, and then still feel desire for what is good enough. But men are less discriminating, and so perhaps better at this.

I'm not saying that porn doesn't impact male desire and appreciation for the average woman. It does, but perhaps not nearly to the extent that you think.

That said, porn is bad for many, many reasons. We should never kid ourselves about that. Still, it takes a community solution. I don't think it makes sense if this current society for a woman to get too worked up about her partner's porn usage if it is at typical levels. Yeah, it's bad for you. But so are many other things. And typical porn usage levels won't usually be a terminal threat to a relationship.

[–]Willow-girl3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kittenated1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Matt_Door3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Willow-girl2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]chubbybutt222 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]_mwk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Orange_Paisley1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–][deleted]2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I never got this.

If I could try, I would argue that it is only physical lust. This same guy would not touch this whore irl, she may stink and have diseases. Her personality might be unbearable. She may not give him the time of the day.

There is no real relationship between me and the pornstar. I don't even know their names most of the time. They are literally a sex toy, they are objectified to the extreme. I forget them immediately after orgasm. These guys don't care about these girl's well-being. They don't mind pirating the videos and ensuring these girls get no money from them.

The alternative to porn would be to masturbate using imagination? you would still imagine hot girls, I mean you can't always expect your wife to be in the mood and this libido mismatch has to be handled somehow.

If you don't think your value to your partner is primarily your looks/sex then you don't need to feel insecure. Especially if he is thrilled when you take initiative and can keep it up.

If the guy needs porn to orgasm, does not take initiative or respond when you do, then porn is a problem, otherwise, I don't think it should be. But emotions are justified and I can understand your insecurity. I guess the guy can hide his porn use for your sake, or maybe you can find a guy who has a low sex drive, similar to yours, and only needs homemade videos of the both of you, imagines you to masturbate. That would be interesting and technically possible.

But you can never know for sure and this insecurity will eat away at you as you grow older and less attractive, wondering if he is indeed not imagining someone else.

[–]superlurkage1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]kittenated1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]xFallacyx692 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Orange_Paisley1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Spread-Em-Plz7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]NinjaOfTheSouth3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SaBahRub1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SaBahRub2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Spread-Em-Plz1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Comprehensive_Art506 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]purplish_possum 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SouthernGrass3 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]And_Rue 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Illustrious_Wish_383 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SKY_ACTIV3Purple Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Comprehensive_Art506 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thesmelliestfart 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsLigma Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cant_stop_wont_st0p 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]_mwk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]flyingbee123 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Cant_stop_wont_st0p 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]flyingbee123 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Slipthe5 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (9 children) | Copy Link

Finally my slacking has caught up to me. Two days in a row of working 12 hours. And I have to work on Saturday.

Are you happy past me?????

[–]thetruthishere_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]jax006MGTowing my boat to the lake 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ashpr0ulx 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (47 children) | Copy Link

[–]j_arbuckle2012 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cloudydays84No Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Orange_PaisleyNARWHALT 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Matt_Door 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]NalkaNalkayou call it virtue, I call it cowardice 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Matt_Door 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]_mwk 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]_mwk 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chalkandapples 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]And_Rue 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]And_Rue 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]And_Rue 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-blue2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWome1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]SnowHatesWome1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

Now that i am seeing this virgin trad girl in her early 20s, my faith has been partially restored.

Despite all the shitty, emotionally abusive experiences with women i've only had (with very few exceptions), i can take a sigh of relief if i end up with her.

There are few problems from my side though...

I don’t know what to do, i have only improved myself to play the numbers game (not because i am unsatisfiable selfish prick because i never believed life would give me another chance with someone i feel humane connection), thus i have no idea how to appeal to someone truly authentic and inexperienced like her.

I have been turned resillient to rejection after going through maybe hundereds of them; still, i don't know how am i going to recover this one.

Anyways, i wish all pure in heart guys the best, someone like her.

[–]Mark_Freedformer nice guy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond3 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

Let her go so she can find someone as innocent and sweet as she is and can have a happy life.

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond3 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm pretty sure you're the one who puts their fantasies on this sub and they aren't the nice romantic type. I feel bad for her tbh.

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond2 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link

You're the guy that fantasised about pushing your secretary against the wall and spitting in her mouth right?

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond2 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Yuck. Men getting off to degrading women is disturbing.

[–]syxtalyCute Macho Male 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountHoes mad ----> 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nemporisso 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokok 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AutoModerator1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]NICHIJOU24111 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]chubbybutt225 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]UrFoodMolestedMyNose4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Orange_Paisley4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Novadina1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (47 children) | Copy Link

[–]ChromaticVengeanceLess Typical Young Millenial 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Novadina 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

Whether I think it’s okay or not doesn’t really play a part in anything. If I’m crying in front of someone, it’s only because I can’t control it. I would vastly prefer to not cry or at the very least only when I’m alone.

Women have a harder time controlling tears than men, because our tear glands are different. Lots of men seem to assume all women are somehow purposely doing it, as a manipulation tactic or something, but I know for me I can’t even do it on purpose and can’t prevent it happening if I am angry or upset. For example, a fight with a loved one always makes me cry. Some partners have accused me of making the fight worse because I cry, but it’s never been on purpose. Maybe men can prevent themselves from crying or control crying in general and assume women’s biology works the same way.

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Novadina 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Novadina 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Orange_PaisleyNARWHALT 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]simeneta_twohigh value kween 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SaBahRub 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]SaBahRub 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SaBahRub 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]thesmelliestfart 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]thetruthishere_ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]thesmelliestfart 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nemporisso 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]PussyEatingManiac757 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]kissmetilyouredrunk{<Rope Bunny>} 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond9 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (47 children) | Copy Link

So men want a women who hasn't been with anyone or only a couple of people but will have sex with them on the first night and pays for half of everything, but also doesn't really expect a relationship or anything. Is that the jist of it?

[–]Uglinessisreal 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]VastlyVainVanityVirtue Pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecond1 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link

Why am I strawmanning? You asking a girl her ncount on the first date because these guys are saying they expect women to put out or they ghost.

[–]VastlyVainVanityVirtue Pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]SnowHatesWomePill Depends on who im Trolling 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SaBahRub 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SonicBackScratcherGreen Eyed Member of the LGBFJB community 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Bandit174🦝 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]And_Rue 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]RDelbsonKyle is a hero | Pronouns: Letsgo and Brandon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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But then what's the point? I mean if there aren't any emotions involved I can get better orgasms by myself without risking a pregnancy or disease.

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I guess that's true. Everyone just gets to be alone in the end then. The death of love.

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I'd rather take my chances of possibly being alone than end up alone with absolute certainty of being unloved.

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Yes, I’ve had it all my life, although it didn’t cause noticeable bald spots until I got seriously triggered by my family moving me across the country as a teen. My mother has pics of me as a baby with my hand wrapped in my hair, and I remember pulling it out in my earliest memories. Sadly, even if I’ve been in remission for years, it doesn’t ever really go away. I know I’m one bad event from falling right back in. I know because I’ve stopped for years before and it always came back when a stressful event happens. I believe it will be a lifelong challenge for me. I do have depression as well, another thing I’ve had since I as long as I can remember.

I also diagnosed myself from the internet, I was only 15 and the internet was still pretty new. I told my mom eventually, who took me to a psychiatrist, who had had never heard of it, but then gave me an official diagnosis when he looked it up after I told him the name. Lol.

Crocheting/knitting helps me if I have idle time, keeps my hands busy.

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[–]LalaTheSecond1 points 4 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

SO has high stress jobs hasn't gone bald. I think it is just genetic.

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Highly depends. If you want me to assume the maximum age gap like in the very best case scenario? 37, maybe. I would start to maybe internally question it at like 30 in the average scenario. However, maybe you have a 25 year old college girl who is a virgin and got her driver's license a couple years ago. In that case, she should be dating college students maybe even a bit younger. Most 30 year old men wouldn't fit that bill. I'd be looking at if the 2 people are in the same life situation, and if they have the traits necessary to grow together. This is for dating- not sex. For casual sex, as long as the guy LOOKS between lie 22 to 30, we're good no creeper.

And even though I'm giving my maximum ages in best case scenarios, I'll still recommend tbmhay gorgeous young women don't sell themselves short for lackluster older men. Aim young. Don't prime yourself for eventually changing some old guy's diapes if you can help it. At least try to consider dating as young as you are if you're still single. The men are definitely doing so!

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I made this comment in a deleted thread and thought I'd repost it here.

CMV: When someone brings up women liking "bad boys," most of PPD seems to picture either a stereotypical Fonzie in a leather jacket or some kind of drug dealer hood. And then uses that mental image as a basis to argue that women don't like that stuff.

I think that's a very narrow interpretation. Bad boys can be nonprofit charity directors and renewable energy consultants as well as warlords and gangsters. But they like taking risks, they're fearless, they're dominant and have a big disagreeable streak, often reveling in conflict or using it to their advantage.

They rely on the force of their personality rather than institutional rules to get their way and they aren't shy about using that force. They can be ruthless, quarrelsome and defiant but also strong, dynamic and magnetic. What they aren't is boring or complacent - they don't have a complacent bone in their bodies. Thus, women like them.

Am I way off? Are bad boys to you just people with petty criminal records and redneck-style baby mamas?

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[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)" 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

You’re right.

I have a friend who married a pretty boy lawyer but admits the best sex and most fiery relationship she ever had was with a less pretty boy ambassador foreign service officer.

I know both guys.

The both are 6 foot flat.

Both have great jobs and dress well.

The lawyer is model tier attractive Boris Kodjoe. The agent looked more like a more round faced Wesley Snipes.

But the FSO had that BDE. I think her husband actually has a bigger d but it’s about the energy. Even I lowkey had a brief flirtatious moment with the FSO because that’s just what he gives.

He’s not a drug dealer or convict. He went to an Ivy League school. He does excellent work. He he has a non profit that aids various African nations. He’s respectful to elders and moms love him lol. My mom even likes him but she said he’s “dangerous” which is code for he makes women lose their wits.

the man oozes testosterone 🤷🏽‍♀️

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Traveling is 100% a gendered hobby. Here's some industry statistics:

-1 in 3 single women travel at least 5 times a year.

-73% of travel agents agree that they book more solo trips for women than men.

-24% of women have planned getaways with their girl friends with another 39% planning one within the next 3 years.

-The "girls trip" travel booking market does $200 million dollars of business anually.

-72% of women travel alone.

-Women are 70% of your bookings.

-In any given day 2/3rds of travelers are women.

-Men travel on average once a year (travel being defined as a week or more long vacation) while women do it once every 10 months. This is even with men on average having more vacation time than women (but idk if the study that looked at vacation time included summers off for teachers which might bring it back closer).

I know personally every woman I've ever dated when you ask them what they look for says someone to travel with (that and wanting me to have ambition are the two things I've heard from literally every woman I've ever talked to). IDK any men that care about traveling with their SO's it's literally something that never crosses my mind and I say that as someone that travels a whole lot more than most men (I work in the industry and used to get buddy passes).

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Pussy, you seem to be having a lot of trouble understanding women, so let me help you.

Rule 1) Women are insecure and fearful, so they rely on the group to "confirm" and "validate" them

Rule 2) To be validated, you need to act according to the group standard. If your group is nerdy, you need to care/pretend to care about your education. If you're in a slutty group, you need to sleep with Chad and then complain that he dumped you. If you're in an artsy group, you need to dress like a hippie and take photos of straight lines.

Rule 3) Top dogs in the group are the ones who most effortlessly act accord to the standard (thus hiding that it is a standard to begin with, and making it almost impossible to see that they too are insecure and fearful). Top dogs also get to change or add to the group standard, and others will slowly or quickly follow.

Rule 4) Women without a group have a man that confirms and validates her so that she feels secure and safe

Rule 5) Women without a group or a man are usually fucked in the head

That should answer all your questions and perhaps inspire you to stop posting dumb shiz

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[–]And_Rue 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

As a guy who has dated both older and younger women, I've found the opposite to be true.

We often conflate age with maturity, intelligence, and independence, but, in reality, age often means baggage, stubbornness, and ideology, especially amongst those who have remained single (ie: can't find a partner). Our brains stop maturing after the age of 25, and, if one 'matures' with detrimental qualities, those qualities tend to stick, and stick hard.

Looking at dating, women are naturally predisposed to desire relationships, and the women with reasonable expectations and desirable qualities will be the first ones chosen. Longitudinally, as a result of selection pressures, the 'pool' of available partners will shrink and, of those remaining, maladaptive habits that are firmly cemented and disruptive to relationship success are bound to be much more prevalent, basically meaning older women are more likely to be crazy.

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

another guy said this and i have him a long response so i would ask you to read that before moving on to what I'm writing here.

You did present your argument more elegantly than the other poster and i actually agree with your premises to a certain degree. I think we would be looking at a logarithmic curve, if IIM were on the y-axis and age were on the x-axis. The question is, where is the significant plateau starting. There's reason to believe that it is 25 as you mentioned, but by the nature of the logarithmic curve, anything before that certain point sees a quick and dramatic decrease. Thus, my edited thesis would be that men looking for women younger than 25 (or wherever that plateau is) would be losing out on a lot of IIM, while those selecting among older women have a fairly constant (slowly increasing) IIM curve.

[–]And_Rue 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, looking at a singular individual or the entire population I can see the merit in the argument; crystallized intelligence, maturity, and independence will likely positively correlate with time, especially pre-age 25. But, for a group, like singledom, whose membership changes throughout the years in ways directly tied to the aforementioned traits, I'd be hard-pressed to be convinced.

Tied to the pre-25 age mark, it's also worth noting 'openness' and the importance of socialization during the formative years. Evidently, the current messages aimed at women are not conducive to happy, long-term relationships. They're aimed at liberation, independence, and self-sufficiency at the expense of relationship health and success, and it's no surprise that marriage rates have plummeted from 90% to 30% since the feminist movement of the 1970s. That being said, it's more likely for women to have cemented an identity and habits that revolve around those ideas nowadays, and with someone post age-25, it's nigh impossible to engage in meaningful dialogue or change an individuals mind due to brain maturation and a solidified identity and beliefs (PPD is a big example of this, in all directions). Because of this, men who desire relationships may find someone who is 25 or younger a more engaging conversation partner. Despite having supposedly less maturity, the openness to differing and novel ideas may be more valuable.

[–]O-j-OYou're all homo...... sapiens. 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I'd say there is a correlation. You take any one individual and he will be more intelligent, independent, and mature (I'm abbreviating this as IIM) at 28 than at 20. However, if this individual is baseline far more IIM than other individuals, than his IIM at 20 can be higher than another individual's IIM at 28.

Howvever, that doesn't change the fact that an if you're looking at averages, at higher ages, IIM increases. Thus the man selecting women from a low age pool is selecting, on average, a lower IIM woman. Unless he is incredibly selective and finds only high IIM women in the low age pool, he is still selecting for low IIM. And even in the senário where he is highly selective, if he were to apply the same selection pressure to the high age pool, the maximum IIM woman in that pool would be higher than the maximum IIM woman in the low age pool. Thus, regardless of individual variation, i can make my initial claim.

why am I like this

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Well, there was no actual argument to rebut.

how about my entire response to why i judge older men for only liking young women? But you don't seem to care about the content, only about defaming my persona

You become one by judging other's as one, because that's exactly what they're thinking about you too.

What are you even talking about? I'm judging his judgment that appearance is key, I'm not judging his appearance. That's the only scenario where this would be ironic. How is using the word "normie" making me a normie? You're grasping at straws to try to attack me over.. a word.

But it's to be expected from any adolescent to mid-20s girl who's still in the phase of thinking a weed "dealer" (lol) makes her some kind of cool, underground subversive.

ok now we are getting real personal lol. 1) I'm not a weed dealer lmao and 2) I never claimed to not be nor to be a normie, i MERELY said that a focus on appearance is normie.

Holy shit dude, untangle your panties and your last two neuron cells because you've made a mess out of nothing

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[–]GridReXX11 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

This thread is going viral on twitter.

Let’s chat?

Young men who can’t get romantic connections are very loud and angry about it online but there’s a growing number of young women discussing it. Everyone thinks all girls/women get male attention and it’s not the case.

The thread shows several chicks from TikTok discussing their loneliness never having been in a relationship or had sex.

Lots of takes spinning off from it wrt male incels vs female ones:

You know, I also notice the difference in the way women discuss their loneliness and men discuss it. Not saying there won't be outliers, but oftentimes one looks internally and blame themselves while the other...

Also this:

That was the first thing I noticed. A lot of the men focus so much on "gold diggers","modern women" "simps and white knights" etc but rarely look within themselves and think what are they doing to repel potential dates

And this guy’s response:

I think it's how we've been conditioned to view relationships. A man is conditioned to believe that a harem of women will make him happy and a woman is conditioned to believe she needs one ideal parter to complete her. Unfortunately we still see women as prizes to be won.

Also lots of chat about how a woman coined the term “incel” and the original community and men ran with it and turned it into something she didn’t intend.

The women in those videos aren’t saying that men are to blame. They’re actually blaming themselves. They’re late bloomers, shy, passive, introverted, etc. and seemingly aware of that. But also struggle dating because now they’re 25+ and don’t know how to vet and are disappointed that every dude seems to want to stick it in on sight. Which leads to her staying single waiting for the right kinder guy, but ultimately that approach will lead to her single for the next 7 years before she knows it.

These women don’t have the same issues as male incels, but they are finding support and empathy in other women. It also doesn’t hurt that the “sad lonely inexperienced women™️” aren’t really leading with “men are shitty and awful Whore bitches” so they aren’t that offensive which begets sympathy.

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[–]SKY_ACTIV31 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Twitter is cleaned up in general.

The “problem” (if you can call it that?) with “femcels” as a group is that they’re splintered. With incels, they managed to coalesce under one moniker, which made new recruits able to find incel spaces extremely easily.

Bitter, romanceless women do have their spaces (FDS, pinkpill, vindicta, etc, just as examples for Reddit) but because there’s not much terminology shared they are largely unaware of each other and stay as smaller, separate groups.

Twitter is relatively tame compared to Reddit, most trending tweets won’t be outwardly hateful, at least compared to an incel sub. I know there are counterexamples, but in general this is true.

TikTok is more complicated. Remember that tiktok’s user base is 60% in the 16-24 year old range, and 60% female compared to male. There is a huge constituency of FDS/FDS style content on tiktok. There is some redpill, and blackpill/incel is technically banned. Discussions about height, 80/20, white guy advantages, etc. are borderline commonplace among young men on tiktok, however.

Basically, I completely agree that this sub tends to overlook the genuine loneliness of women, and tends to underestimate the number of women out there that struggle. I just wouldn’t take one Twitter thread as evidence that femcels are always docile and sympathetic. There are plenty of tiktoks of men lamenting their loneliness and bearing the brunt of the responsibility. That doesn’t negate the existence of more toxic incel spaces.

[–]-Giga-3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

When you're done manufacturing bullshit, FDS is not a femcel group.

Butthurt men calling women with sex lives femcels doesn't make the femcels. Men only know one insult for women and its to call them ugly. Femcels identify as unattractive women so big brains call women with sex and dating lives female celibates. K

Femcels are one group. Vindicta is a sub femcels created that welcomes all women for one cause. So is TheGlowUp.

The actual femcel group was banned on Reddit bc unlike male spaces who keep landing on the news with their kill counts for years before a ban, female spaces can be merely accused to be vanquished.

The community is alive, their sub is on ThePinkPill. The terminology is used regularly. Other groups have started to use them, even groups who don't fuck with femcels and so as a person manufacturing history, of course you dont know that

As for the tweets, I will never understand those people who play stupid about female loneliness when the number one thing men will use to attack women they don't like is someone comment on their lack of sexual attractiveness and a laugh about how they will be cat ladies who die alone.

Men have cemented this logic.

"You are ugly, therefore you will be a cat lady who will die alone"

Same men don't understand that there are women in the world who age and never been held, never been kissed. Really?

I just wouldn’t take one Twitter thread as evidence that femcels are always docile and sympathetic

You shouldn't. Bc no one there said they were femcel.

And that's rich. Women need to be docile and sympathetic 100% of the time in order to be listened to. Meanwhile we're on a sub where a bunch of men were saying "let's see both sides of the Taliban, they may have a point" and other such tasteful comments while lamenting their dry dicks. Ok, sir.

[–]LAndLight21 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]GridReXX2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

IME women who haven’t experienced sex or any romantic validation are more chill than not wrt their complaints relative to the women who have and male incels.

I’ve experienced aggy “men are trash” twitter, which actually preceded the FDS sub. Those women aren’t the same women in the thread I linked. Also it’s not “one twitter thread.” It’s a pattern I’ve noticed myself — the twitter thread is an example highlighting said (anecdotal) pattern.

FDSers and “Men are trash” Twitter have experienced sexual or romantic validation at some point. They’ve just been burned of their own volition or completely blindsided by assholes. Their bitterness is a result of experiencing men.

Could you link the women who haven’t had any sex or boyfriends or dates who are also “men are trashhhhhh”?

They may exist but I’ve seen more of that reaction from women with experiences with men.

[–]SKY_ACTIV31 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It’s a bit tricky to find spaces that are specifically for women lacking in romantic interest, since like I said above, there usually little shared

There’s obviously /r/thepinkpills. /r/vindicta and its sister subs are not necessarily femcel subs, but they are underscored with a biterness not unlike equivalent incel “looksmax” communities. /r/wgtow is also a real sub, but I don’t think that necessarily counts. /r/TwoXChromosomes is also a difficult example, but there are plenty of comments lamenting a lack of dating success.

All depends on your tolerance for “toxicity”. “A woman my age might as well not even fucking exist” could be seen as toxic/bitter in the same way “A man <5’9” might as well not even fucking exist” is.

Like I said, there are very few explicit femcel subs. Moreso subreddits that facilitate usership that could be considered that. Not totally unlike the state that male incels are in on Reddit right now (largely existing in spaces like here that tolerate them).

I’m not trying to make a false equivalence. I used to lurk some of the incel subs, the level of misogyny and vitriol is pretty unmatched. If you have a theory why femcels are usually less so I’d love to hear it as it’s own thread. But my interpretation is basically what i said before, “femcels” don’t have the numbers or the consolidating spaces to feel powerful enough. Might honestly be a good thing for them, but it is sad that there arent spaces for them specifically to vent. Maybe /r/foreveralonewomen?

And thats a pretty charitable interpretation of FDS. it sounds a lot like the MGTOW guys that claim women “made them that way”.

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She linked the article. Here it is again: https://www.vice.com/en/article/akvz8a/north-carolina-hawthorne-suspended-student-reporting-sexual-assault

“The child who did this to my daughter admitted to the police that he, in fact, did sexually assault her in a bathroom at the school,” the student’s mother told the outlet. “The school did their investigation, gave me a phone call and said, ‘Hey, look, unfortunately it looks like there’s no evidence that what your daughter’s saying took place did. We’re gonna have to give her a day of suspension.’”

The mother said she asked Hawthorne Academy’s principal, “If the police are telling me that he did do these things, he admitted to them, and that I have the right to press charges, you’re telling me this didn’t happen?”

Referring to to the Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools district, the mother said the principal told her, “Well, unfortunately, what the law does has nothing to do with CMS, so unfortunately, we have nothing else we can do about this.’”

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[–]WilliamWyattD0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

You are creating either-or models I don't agree with.

If a girl runs into a frat party naked and then says, "someone get me really drunk because I love rough, drunken gang bangs with strangers," after which she gets taken to a bedroom and gangbanged by strangers despite clearly saying 'No' once she gets there over and over, and clearly not enjoying it, then these guys are guilty as fuck. ARe they in some way perhaps less guilty than a guy that stalks a stranger on the street and pulls her into his rape van? Maybe in some way. But does it matter? They are still guilty of gang rape.

But if you think that someone telling her that this behavior is not a great idea is 'victim blaming' then I just think you are in another reality. Are we supposed to act as if she behaved no differently than the girl who was pulled into the rape van while walking home in broad daylight?

Yes, this is an extreme example to make a point.

[–]Mimoxs4 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]WilliamWyattD0 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

First of all, I was being sarcastic/ironic about the girl in the bathroom. My point was she clearly didn't do anything. Thus, suggesting she later get any kind of counseling about how to avoid harassment seemed silly.

And no, in some theoretical sense that is rarely useful, not every perpetrator is exactly equally guilty. And not every victim is exactly equally a victim. But so what? They are still guilty. We do take circumstances into consideration for sentencing with respect to murder, assault, etc. So rape should be no different. Now, what circumstances should be considered is a different conversation. I'm not really an expert enough on sentencing considerations for other crimes to really know what would be appropriate for rape.

But the main point is that if you were the mother of the girl who ran naked into a frat party, would you never talk to her about her actions and decisions later on? What if she were taking the view that she made no mistakes?

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Daily Community Chat Megathread

Comments

This Is The Way Leaderboard

Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	11
Comments	1365
Date	November 4, 2021 2:00 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qma6j1/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1080112 https://theredarchive.com/post/1080112