Men in western society should reject marriage

relish5k · 2023-07-21T08:33:24+00:00

Just recently I saw an old couple in the streets. He wasn't able to walk straight any more and needed help. She (I assumed his wife) was helping him patiently and tenderly. That's when I realised the value of marriage. You marry while you are young, healthy and strong and promise to support each other until the end, in good and in bad times. Obviously that couple took their marriage vows seriously. I found that really beautiful. Marriage meant something back in the days when that couple was young.

Considering the high divorce rates nowadays you are right to question the point of marrying. The divorce rates are not that high now because back then all couples were as perfect as the one that I've observed. It's because divorcing got much easier, especially for women, and became socially acceptable. Back then, couples had no choice but stay together even if they hated each other. Especially women had little choice as they were financially dependent on men.

That being said, you have two options:

You decide you will never marry because divorce is likely and women are not 'as they used to be' (read: socially and financially compelled to stay with the man regardless of their feelings)
You take the time and put the effort into finding the right partner. Someone who shares your values, who will be your friend and your lover, someone who loves you for your personality and not for your ability to provide sex or money, someone who will support you in your old age when you can't take a step alone.
Will your guy bros come every day to help you get into the shower or bring you a book in the evening when your back hurts?

I'm not advocating directly for marriage, but I'm advocating for marrying the right person. Marriage can be still beautiful and fulfilling, but only with the right person. Finding that person is a life task.

Billsandasonom · 2023-07-21T06:52:45+00:00

I wonder if the people who think it's silly for men to worry about the statistical risk of their life falling apart from divorce also think it's illogical for women to be wary of men due to statistics of assault and violence.

SierraMistSoda · 2023-07-21T06:35:35+00:00

Do women get to escape the cats and box wine jokes if men don't want to marry them anymore?

Jazzlike-Actuary-99 · 2023-07-21T06:38:05+00:00

My hot take is that people should (only) get married for practical reasons. This is why marriage exists in the first. So if the tax code or other legislation makes it benefical then go ahead. Just be cool-headed about it. Consider it a business arrangement.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-21T14:21:19+00:00

Women also get cheated on. There's a post advocating for it right now. Men can also leave their wives for their affair partners, and often do.

As far as the dead bedroom, check out that sub. It's equal parts frustrated men and women.

Men can also emotionally abuse their spouses, not to mention physically abusive them.

As far as "simping for a narcissistic man for free", most men don't marry as virgins. They most likely simped for some vapid girl or many vapid girls in the past.

And then there's this line: "Kids are not taught to respect their parents like in the past." Do you know who is responsible for teaching their kids respect? Their parents. So if your kids aren't being taught to respect their parents you have only yourself to blame.

chrisnata · 2023-07-21T10:30:04+00:00

If what you truly want from a marriage is just access to regular sex, then yes - you should not get married.

BoringWanker · 2023-07-21T06:11:05+00:00

This, every women is "evil" mentality is just too toxic and being on the internet for too long is consuming you. First of all, you should go out and talk to real women.

In general, date someone and build a solid relationship with them. Women are horny too, be the guy they are horny for. women need love to. Be the caring guy they want to reciprocate to. Be the interesting guy that she wants to be with.

Most of the marriages end in divorce because people grow apart. The couple start loving each other and then after a while, just be together for the sake of being together. Keep some spice in your relationship and you should be fine.

I do agree that the marriage laws overly favor women but talking about half of humanity like their some evil aliens is just absurd to me.

yungplayz · 2023-07-21T17:20:31+00:00

For fuck’s sake. Marriage is not for “access to sex for the rest of one’s life”. If that was the case, hiring prostitutes would be the much easier solution. Those will NEVER vanish no matter how some might want that to happen

PanzerKatze96 · 2023-07-21T15:07:05+00:00

OP, you are being a bit overly dramatic.

There are tons of marriages that don’t work. But there are plenty that do. Some of it is luck, some of it is effort. Some of it is the partners people pick.

If you’re too scared to take the risk, then don’t. Nobody cares, it’s your life. But you don’t get to dictate whether it’s worth it or not when you’ve never tried or perhaps even found a partner to try it with. That’s kinda silly of you.

Women aren’t some predatory creature waiting for you to fuck up so they can steal your money. They are humans. Some humans are shit, I’ll grant you that.

By this measure, any relationship with another person is a risk. I’ve had plenty of brothers betray me and do shit behind my back too. Men can be just as shit. Choose your friends carefully, but I’m not going to let a few bad relationships stop me from making new friends.

Divorce isn’t the end of the world either. Most divorces end without much concession from either side unless kids are involved. Most divorces occur within the first 5 or so years of a marriage, if you’re together longer than that, the statistical likelihood starts to fall off.

I just don’t get this opinion at all. Seems based in pure irrational fear and nothing else. If you fear divorce so much, then don’t get married. The rest of us don’t care. It literally doesn’t matter.

I’ve been happily married for years, and some chick cheating on his dude unrelated to me isn’t going to make me question my decision. Because I know my wife and the choice I made.

We will all die, divorce happens, losing money happens, getting injured happens, etc. Life isn’t a perfect arc ever.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-07-21T09:11:50+00:00

I don't understand the red pill logic of ratting on women for not being married by 30 but telling men not to marry at all. How does that work?😕

But to your point, if you're actually in a serious relationship or marriage, you should have plenty of warning before the relationship ends, should you actually care to look. Take some accountability for why your relationships aren't working out like you always tell women to because plenty of marriages don't end in divorce.

RandumbThrowawayz · 2023-07-21T06:53:35+00:00

I think marriage in general is outdated in 1st world countries. Let's just agree to not be pieces of shit to each other and follow through on that

Puzzleheaded_Card_71 · 2023-07-21T16:31:51+00:00

Agreed. If you talk to older couples you will see the common theme is they stuck it out in bad times. They did this because they needed each other and society did not make it easy to leave. That has been eliminated now and women in particular know and are told they can leave with no shame or judgment, they can take resources from the man for themselves or their kids, and there will be plenty of men ready to give them the tingles in the way someone you’ve been with for years cannot. Bad times? Time to leave, not stick it out.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-07-21T11:44:10+00:00

It depends so much on the situation. While female divorce rape of males happens, so does good old male exploitation of overly conscientious and agreeable women. Sometimes easy divorce does the damage; in days of old, the impossibility of divorce often locked a woman into a cage with her abuser.

Even today, men usually do better after divorce than women; though it is probably men who suffer the worst outcomes (on the extreme) when custody is involved.

I'd say the most important thing for a man is to be wise with his money. If you want a SAHM, then you should have enough income to be able to support the family WITHOUT the domestic synergies and savings of cohabitation, and with her not working for life. And you should expect to possibly lose custody since the kids will naturally be closer to the mother. If you don't have that kind of income, marry a woman who makes and works as much as you do.

kvakerok · 2023-07-21T15:15:11+00:00

Even having kids is not worth it in this day and age. Kids are not taught to respect their parents like in the past. Imagine sacrificing your life to have a bunch of ungrateful kids.

Seriously? Kids are going to do what you teach them. If you act like an ungrateful disrespectful asshole - they'll grow up into little ungrateful disrespectful assholes. When you see those, you know exactly who their parents are.

NavrusKhabar · 2023-07-21T05:40:51+00:00

There's another way...

Date people, vet them, and keep trying until you find someone who you actually like to spend time with and be around a lot. Marriage shouldn't be some strategic war over who can screw each other over.

Most marriages are fucked because people base them on the cold, calculating bullshit that permeates this thread, or they marry the first person who'll have sex with them.

relish5k · 2023-07-21T12:43:28+00:00

Most men think marriage means access to sex for the rest of your life.

If that’s your main motivation for marriage yeah, don’t get married

The woman you married is the same woman who used to simp for a narcissistic man for free when she was younger. Think about it for a sec.

The fact that you and she are not each others first infatuations seems irrelevant to the institution of marriage

Imagine sacrificing your life to have a bunch of ungrateful kids.

All children are ungrateful until they become adults themselves. Only from that vantage point can they see their parents as people and recognize their sacrifice. It is in their nature.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-21T15:01:55+00:00

Alot of men dont pick women well and stop working on their marriage/take her for granted/never want to compromise. Pretty much all of the men I know divorcing shallow/materialistic/bitchy women, these women showed signs of this behavior when they were dating.

I'll give you the same advice I hear men give to women who state men become abusive: JUST PICK BETTER.

RedBullfrog · 2023-07-21T05:34:59+00:00

Marriage has nothing to offer men and I’d even say that most men who get married, only do it to please their women

2023-07-21T10:33:10+00:00

People should be with partners that want similar things in life. If you don’t want to be married find a partner that agrees with you about marriage.

2023-07-21T14:46:40+00:00

The woman you married is the same woman who used to simp for a narcissistic man

That’s supposed to scare me? lol y’all are too soft

Numerous1 · 2023-07-21T15:36:57+00:00

I’m sorry you got hurt buddy. Good luck, it’s tough out there.

gigabity123 · 2023-07-21T16:48:30+00:00

Right on point bro. No way a man should marry anyone. As there are a lot (and always will be) of simps available to every girl, there will always be easy girls who will give it with no attachments whatsoever. No kids and no cohabitation and you're set up for an easy life. A successful life. Always women pressuring to get married. And the laws on their side. Ask yourself why, who's benefitted with marriage and who isn't. No f' way.

2023-07-22T08:46:17+00:00

If a couple truly want to be together for life, they will be together for life.

Getting married shows you don't trust each: you are relying on a third party, the state, to punish one or the other if you break your promise.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-07-21T13:05:12+00:00

Religion is on its last knees. Marriage is slowly dying. The thing with marriage is that it doesn't offer much benefit to the guy if it goes well and it severely cripples him if it goes bad. People can still get together, they just don't need to sign the legal papers.

Soviet_Dreamer · 2023-07-21T06:08:12+00:00

“ Most men think marriage means access to sex for the rest of your life”. And this is not problematic for you at all? So men don’t seek companionship and connection with the person with whom they are supposed to share their live, they are seeking access to sex and then you complain about divorce. Make it make sense.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-07-21T08:23:26+00:00

Then dont get married Any relationship has risks you have to work out if you think it’s worth it or not

ThatGamer707 · 2023-07-21T05:00:16+00:00

Look man. You’re free to live your life like this and be completely miserable. Don’t drag the rest of us down with you

2023-07-21T10:07:33+00:00

that’s not gonna work out for you guys as you think lmaooo

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-07-21T10:04:06+00:00

You are wrong on all points. Divorce is a very negative experience for all concerned. Why post when you don't know what you're talking about?

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-07-21T12:04:57+00:00

Vet the women you want to marry?

Particular_Trade6308 · 2023-07-21T06:59:49+00:00

I love reading these posts sometimes.

More often than not the person “risking” anything is someone with max 100k net worth, making 50-60k in an HCOL. Like bro, if you’re so worried get a watertight prenup so you can protect your meager assets

Reasonable_Listen514 · 2023-07-21T06:25:06+00:00

Marriage is a useless and foolish institution when no-fault divorce and bias family courts exist. No man should marry under the current circumstances in the west.

FaruinPeru · 2023-07-21T05:20:01+00:00

ur points are pretty accurate BUT i will add that divorce is 80% of the time initiated by the women. Meaning, although men have all these problems with women, it’s women who leave more often.. which is good for the men in ur case bc they can be single

bluestjuice · 2023-07-21T12:38:33+00:00

I don’t really understand the point of this post. You’re describing a variety of bad marriages, which… yes? I would hope adults would realize that a marriage could turn out poorly, but maybe some people need to be told this.

I certainly believe people should not get married casually or without thinking through everything that it involves. Carelessly coasting into a marriage is a bad idea, no argument there.

NiceTrybutIdc · 2023-07-21T15:57:00+00:00

More than half of married people stay forever

SylvarGrl · 2023-07-21T17:20:07+00:00

“Kids are not taught to respect their parents like in the past.” Lmao, seriously!? Who do you think is responsible for teaching your kids? If they don’t learn how to show respect by seeing your example, you, sir, are the one to blame. They don’t get loaded with a customized manners package to suit your (admittedly unique) perspective in some baby factory somewhere. The womb doesn’t provide etiquette training either, so…

WistfulPuellaMagi · 2023-07-21T20:29:01+00:00

Why are you upset that women can decide to not have sex? That should always be a thing. Consent is important.

alexisoliviaemerson · 2023-07-21T09:02:56+00:00

Maybe stop picking women who will cheat on you? Not all women are like that. Learn the signs of BPD.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-07-21T12:57:43+00:00

Why didn't you just say people? This also applies to women.

Carloverguy20 · 2023-07-21T13:59:53+00:00

Men benefit more from marriage than woman do lol. If a man gets divorced that means, no more getting meals cooked for them, and they now have to take care of themselves. Men remarry more than women do, and saying that men don't benefit from marriage is a foolish manosphere statement. Does divorce happen yes, have there been Men who have gotten destroyed by it yes, but the same Men remarry later in life and have found better partners.

FiFiFoFumHeHiHoHum · 2023-07-21T07:03:16+00:00

Avoid women in general, be it for romantic purposes or otherwise.

Cat_Lover259 · 2023-07-21T15:55:27+00:00

This is just sad. Normal men nowadays are excited to get married to the one they love. They cry happy tears as they watch her walk down the aisle towards them. Their wedding day is the best day for them as much as it is for the bride. If you all stopped being so negative about everything maybe you’ll actually be happy with someone someday. I’m so lucky my bf talks about having kids and getting married with me instead of shit like this. You blame women, yet ALL the anger and negativity comes from you. I just feel bad for you and other men who think like this.

SteveSan82 · 2023-07-21T05:39:53+00:00

You can have LTRs but don’t marry her. Never give a woman your heart.

coldhazel · 2023-07-21T06:03:43+00:00

Look the other posters are right that you're focused on the negatives. But yeah, don't get married. That said, let the good in with the bad.

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-07-21T08:10:23+00:00

[permanently deleted]

basedmama21 · 2023-07-21T21:59:54+00:00

So much projection I feel like I’m at a drive through movie theater.

Every man I know who is divorced is really bad at reading women. Asshat women exist, of course. But I blame men for choosing to barrel through the red flags those women CONSTANTLY give off and then they want sympathy when they’re getting divorced. No. We told you she was trash and you wifed her anyway. Take the L.

platinirisms · 2023-07-21T11:18:40+00:00

50% of marriages and in divorce.

This is heavily skewed by all the poor quality, uneducated, and poor people who end up in multiple marriages and getting divorced multiple times.

For example, if you’re an educated, financially stable man marrying an educated, financially stable woman, your odds of divorce drop significantly to less than 15% chance.

Otherwise-Olive-4771 · 2023-07-21T11:38:29+00:00

men in western society should reject western society

Slurpaderp69 · 2023-07-21T12:21:18+00:00

Obviously

Least_Ride1826 · 2023-07-21T05:34:01+00:00

That’s some darkness there man, though… you do make some valid points.

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obviousredflag · 2023-07-21T14:14:18+00:00

We live in a society where your wife can cheat, leave you for her affair partner and face 0 repercussions whatsoever. Think about it for a second. The risk is simply too great.

Sounds great to me. Why would i want it any other way?

Blue_Robin_04 · 2023-07-21T20:56:35+00:00

Somewhere out there is a woman who is genuinely worth the effort. I will not stop believing that.

Dull-Laugh-4037 · 2023-07-21T22:36:53+00:00

From a theoretically standpoint, OP makes a very valid argument. It is why I am so picky and will not date unless my partner has a strong relationship with God, and our shared faith is the foundation of our marriage. Otherwise, if God isn't at the foundation, then what is holding the relationship together?

People are too fickle these days. It's all about "what can you do for me now?" And if the foundation of your relationship is outward beauty, a good conversation at the bar, financial stability, cool job, etc...it's a weak foundation as it all fades. And as OP stated women have motivation to leave. In fact they are rewarded for doing so. It's not surprising women initiate 80% of divorces.

Nihi1986 · 2023-07-22T13:35:41+00:00

Not just men. Aside from those divorces where women get a lot of benefits, a failed marriage/divorce just seems a bad deal for everyone more often than not.

2023-07-23T01:01:40+00:00

at the end of the day it’s only hurting you guys not us because what one man won’t do another man wouldd

throwaway123456_7812 · 2023-07-23T01:09:26+00:00

I agree and I don’t feel sorry for men who give divorce raped anymore. It’s so obvious getting the government involved in your love life is stupid as fuck, any guy who still gets married today is sort of a cuck. Conservative institutions like marriage are only as durable as the culture that supports it, which is now very socially progressive. Marriage is pointless, and before someone says “muh tax breaks!”, you may as well think of paying a little extra tax as reverse insurance for a guy to keep the government out of your personal finances.

Title	Men in western society should reject marriage
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	169
Comments	372
Date	July 21, 2023 4:57 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/155dw0c/men_in_western_society_should_reject_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-in-western-society-should-reject-marriage.1225961 https://theredarchive.com/post/1225961

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