I am certainly not the brightest bulb in the room, but I think plate-spinning means keeping the illusion of a relationship with multiple women at once. Like making them feel as if your in a relationship, while it’s really more of a one-sided situationship,  being ambiguous/shady or even downright deceitful about your intentions. 

That’s kinda…. Disgusting? Like men who do this, what do they get out of it? It’s just taking advantage of someone’s feelings to get sex regularly. 

Before RP men attack me and say, many men are upfront, but many women refuse to believe them and stay thinking they can ‘change’ them, I am not speaking about such cases. Okay? If you have been honest about your intentions, but a woman doesn’t take you at your word, that’s on her. 

I am also not talking about situations, where neither has agreed on exclusivity, but one party - the woman, is assuming exclusivity. Again it’s on her. She had never asked him if he was on the same page as her.

I am talking about a very specific type of man. 

The man who knows,  is very aware that the woman is interested in LTR/marriage coz she had told him about it in the getting-to-know-each-other stage. So, no scope of ‘plausible deniability’

He has no intentions of LTR or marriage, or if he does, it’s not with her, coz most probably doesn’t believe she is HV enough for his commitment, but finds her attractive enough for a long situationship or fwb. 

But he is well aware that if he says that all she can expect from him is an fwb arrangement or situationship, she will most likely decline him and he may never see her again. 

So he pretends he is interested in a relationship and makes her into one of his plates. 

He does a lot of things like expecting emotional validation, and support, which is common in a healthy LTR but is not willing to return the favour. 

Like, he has no intentions of marriage/LTR with this woman, but he wants the perks of an LTR - emotional support, exclusivity, affection, words of affirmation, adoration, all the same. 

In short, he wants to have his cake and eat it too. 

Can’t deny, I really loathe such men. 

Although casual flings are not my thing, I have no issues with guys who are upfront that they are in no mood to settle down and want to be single, ready to mingle, and in no mood for commitment till they die. Or that they are not ready for such a relationship with me. 

Or straightaways tell me that all they are looking for is to have some fun. Or that they are polygamous. 

I am old enough to understand that polygamy and hookup culture a valid choices/lifestyle for some. 

While such men may be a bit cringe, they are at least honourable. 

Sure , all they want is sex without commitment. But they are man enough to admit it and not waste time or exploit a woman’s feelings. 

I will trust the man who is openly a fuckboy/polygamous more than the man who wants to spin plates covertly.