Men not going to college

justdontsashay · 2025-04-15T18:25:02+00:00

It’s generally wanting to find someone you see as on your “level” intellectually.

Which is a little dumb, because I’ve dated blue collar men who didn’t go to college who were really smart, and men with more degrees than I have who were educated but not intelligent in ways I find attractive. But generally among college educated people there’s a bias against those without a degree.

S0yslut · 2025-04-15T19:04:07+00:00

Dating someone who is college educated isn’t just a woman thing. My own husband would not date a woman who wasn’t college educated.

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-04-15T18:24:59+00:00

I want someone who shares my lifestyle, ambitions + values. this doesn’t have to be someone with a college degree, tho it often is
If I were a woman wanting a family + kids, I’d know that my career/income/health insurance would be taking a hit for about 1.5 years per kid. These women reasonably choose a partner they know can support them during this time.

Temporary-Flight-192 · 2025-04-15T18:43:50+00:00

You are confusing smv with rmv. Being educated does not make you sexually attractive. You having a decent, boring job doesn’t make you sexually attractive. You having certain aspects of your shit together boosts your relationship value. AFTER a woman has determined you are attractive enough to interest her sexually, she looks for signs you might have relationship potential.

HotOutcome9161 · 2025-04-15T19:33:37+00:00

I personally think a guy who can build stuff with his hands like a capenter or an electrician is so much hotter than a guy who just sits in an office all day like I do lol.

But unfortunatelly you can often tell if there is an intelectual divide. Not that I claim to be particulary smart. I work in Marketing so more creative than smart. But for me it‘s important that he can grasp foreign concepts and that we can have conversations on a deeper level.

Also, I think a lot of women would be much more open to being the breadwinner if men compensated by doing more of the cooking, cleaning and childcare. As long as these are mostly done by women, women will expect men to provide more financially.

GridReXX · 2025-04-15T21:51:48+00:00

“College” is a proxy for: “aligns with my forward-thinking mindset, has likely read books and enjoys it, has similar socio-cultural and open/non-rigid sensibilities, and is thinking about his future outside of the immediate ‘now’ all of which is a great signal for longterm ‘building a life together’ goals.”

It’s not a foolproof vetting system. But it’s a vetting system all the same. I’m more likely to find someone who aligns with my values, lifestyle goals, and outlook who went to college than not.

Also! Let’s say there is a guy who fits everything I want but he didn’t go to college. How would I discover him? It would be by chance. He’s outside of my network.

Waste-Love9786 · 2025-04-15T19:45:54+00:00

Because college is a scam more often than not, and also fuck being around college educated people, they have a superiority complex and often look down on us uneducated peasants.

I know not all of them are like that, but i find people who are "educated" and especially if they come from a family of educated individuals, this tends to be the case.

Edit: im braindead and read your post wrong. I'm a woman and idgaf about a man's level of education, and this is why lol

DXBrigade · 2025-04-16T08:56:10+00:00

College is the main social elevator => better education means better career prospect and better pay.

College degree is used as a proxy for intelligence and while it's not always true you can be really dumb and college educated and vice versa, most of the time I do find college educated men to be more cultured, well-travelled and more interesting to talk to.

It's a status thing: yes some women are snobs and look down on people who didn't go to college even if they make decent money. I also know successful people who didn't go to college and developped an inferiority complex over it.

It's also nice to have more in common with the men you are dating as well.

toasterchild · 2025-04-15T18:38:20+00:00

Snobs are always going to exist, they come in male form too. If you are also snobby you may make a good pair, if you don't like it avoid dating them. Plenty of us women are out here out earning our husbands and not giving a shit about it. My guy needs to pay for his items and stay out of debt. I don't care, just don't be a deadbeat.

MyLastBestChance · 2025-04-15T19:50:18+00:00

There’s a difference between a requirement for consideration and a guarantee of acceptance.

I can say that I only want to date men who live within a 20 minute drive of my house. That means that in order to be considered a possibility, a man needs to live within 20 minutes. It does not mean that I will date any man who lives within 20 minutes.

Same as the requirement that a man be kind. I will not date a man who isn’t kind. I will also not date a man because he is kind.

Get it?

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-04-15T19:09:26+00:00

The Right has been pushing anti-intellectualism for a decade now. The propaganda is all over the media, and conservative men tend towards obedience and spread the message all over social media.

Why does it matter

See above ⬆️. Women with an education prefer men who can think critically. Conspiracy theorists, propagandists, and goose-steppers aren’t appealing partners.

Gilmoregirlin · 2025-04-15T18:33:34+00:00

As a woman who is a high wage earner with a degree, I tried a lot in my younger years of dating to date men that made less. I personally did not have a problem with it, but they sure did. I grew up poor with blue collar parents and so honestly I was more comfortable with people similar to my own upbringing. It never worked, and not because I was uncomfortable with it, because they were. So I generally don't do that anymore. I also look to how he was raised. If Mom was a stay at home Mom, then no way it will work with me. Another issue is children. Generally one party needs to cut back hours at work to be the primary parent. In my experience men are not willing to do that. So if high earning women want to be able to cut back they need to find someone who makes at least equal to what they do.

attendquoi · 2025-04-15T18:17:32+00:00

I don't care about the income, I just like knowing a person has had a well-rounded education past the age of 18. Plus it also helps filter out conservatives.

bv0724 · 2025-04-15T20:46:59+00:00

It is actually weird for someone to not go to university in my culture. I at least try to be somewhat culturally appropriate too especially on the outside. I don't have standards like "makes as much as me" or "as educated as me". But someone who goes against my culture too much ain't for me. Must have a bachelor's from at least a questionable school and having an acceptable job for my culture are my minimum. FYI, I'm 100% the type to give up on marrying a guy if my family disapproves, and that's the traditionally appropriate decision for kids of both genders.

The concept of "saving face" (保面子 / 保住面子) plays a huge role in family dynamics, social relationships, and even decision-making. "Face" (面子, miànzi) represents a person’s reputation, dignity, and social standing.

"Saving face" means preserving honor, avoiding shame, and maintaining respect from others.
"Losing face" means doing something that brings embarrassment, shame, or disapproval, especially in public.

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Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2025-04-15T19:32:24+00:00

Most people date and settle down with people in their own socio-economic circle. If you went to college, you're more likely to end up with someone who went to college. You're more likely to want someone who went to college, same as you. These are perfectly fine and allowable preferences to have. People who don't have a college education will specifically seek out others who don't. That's allowed too.

Whoreasaurus_Rex · 2025-04-15T19:52:25+00:00

You go to college to get an education. If your vocabulary is at an eighth grade level, that’s a huge turn off.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2025-04-15T21:20:22+00:00

personally, it matters to me because of the correlation/likelihood that college educated people tend to be more open minded because they get exposed to more diverse experiences than the person who stayed in their hometown their whole life. on a similar note i’d look a bit more favorably at people with a humanities background than a business background for the same reason, or people who aren’t college educated but got to travel a lot and expose themselves to diverse experiences. i’m open to my soulmate not being college educated but i think that’s less likely. and people who don’t value this the way i do surely have no problem with not dating me lol win win

Interesting-Gas4506 · 2025-04-16T07:46:55+00:00

Personally I want a partner that is educated, can carry a conversation and is preoccupied by things other than "what's for dinner" "our neighbour is an asshole".

I want a partner that can make absolute bank, because if everything goes well I'll also make absolute bank and I want to raise a bunch of spoiled little shits. Spoiled as in they have everything they need, they have access to top schools an they get to ride horses if they wish, not as in they get every single new apple gadget.

If i wont be able to make a copious amount of money, i won't have kids, and I won't try to find a partner that has been college educated in one of the fields I prefer.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2025-04-16T13:44:52+00:00

Being educated increases your chance of remaining married. So does marrying after 30. So does having a median or above income.

Yeah I’d prefer to maximize my chances of staying married to the man I love but if you’re cool with divorce, then have no standards. It doesn’t affect me what you do or don’t care about.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-04-16T18:22:13+00:00

Socialization is the reason, particularly class based

BKLD12 · 2025-04-17T00:29:09+00:00

Fair or unfair, I do get it. Generally speaking, people look for life partners on the same “level” or with similar backgrounds as them. I can only speculate as to why, but perhaps it’s as simple as wanting to be with someone who you can more easily understand. The most blissful marriages I’ve personally seen have been between people with similar backgrounds and interests. It’s obviously not a hard and fast rule, just my personal observations.

leosandlattes · 2025-04-15T20:44:15+00:00

I like men who I can learn things from. There is something viscerally attractive and deeply respectable about that, and thus it tends to be men who are intellectual, well-read, and curious about the world. That correlates to men who are academically inclined and more likely to have a college degree, especially if they have a graduate degree.

Additionally college education is a class marker of the middle class and up. Even if you don't use the degree it's seen as a normal thing to do, an expected adulthood life event, for people in that social class. On top of this, women who want children have to think about their future husband and whether they align on the same values to impart to their kids. And that includes values about education and work ethic.

I have never had a problem with finding men who make as much as I do or are college educated, so this seems like a personal problem for the women in that video or women who say things like that. People typically date in their social proximity and similar economic class, so I have no idea why they are not able to find men who make as much as them.

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-04-16T11:59:21+00:00

Why would they? the education system is tailored towards women and there's been zero effort to balance the playing field.

Not to mention a lot of people on this subreddit are old and don't understand a degree does not = success anymore, there are people with degrees stuck in retail deep into their 20's and even 30's now.

Men would much prefer to do trades and live cash in hand, at least in a rural area like mine. They actually have more disposable income the men that focused on education for the most part especially later in life.

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Tylikcat · 2025-04-15T21:35:04+00:00

There are a lot of different women with a lot of different takes. I'm in my fifties, not dating at the moment, and if I start dating again I will probably prioritize dating other women. (But then, there are a lot more men interested in women than women interested in women.) But I'm a CS professor, and I've gotten interested in what is going on with boys. Not so much my students, as the ones who have made it to me are probably going to do fine. (Though the lack of executive function among the 18-22 year old male set kind of amazes me.)

The first thing that I worry about is that guys who go to college are less likely to have stable employment, less likely to have stable relationships, get married, etc. And this is the group of men we're seeing really high rates of drug addiction and suicide from in their forties and fifties.

This isn't just about college as such - it's post secondary education in a variety of forms. Most trades require some degree of education, whether it be at the local voctech or whatever. Apprenticeship programs are another option... when they're around. But if you don't pursue some educational or career options post highschool, you're far less likely to be going anywhere, and you're a lot more likely to have a fucked up life. Yes, there are exceptions, but we call them exceptions for a reason.

College - and I'm more talking college as such now, though counting community college and voctech as well - is often the first place people get exposed to a wider variety of ideas, and are really encouraged to present their own ideas and defend them with logic and evidence. This is huge, because we're increasingly seeing a lot of mis- and disinformation being presented as news, and a sizeable part of the population doesn't care and/or can't tell the difference. I'm not going to say college is a perfect remedy for this, but it helps a lot. (And this is one of the reason a lot of extreme religious groups are wary of college, because it's often the first place people get exposed to viewpoints that really contradict those of the groups.)

I'm not quite sure what your point about comicon is supposed to be - the people I know who attend comicons don't seem to have problems getting into relationships? But I haven't been to one. (I have been to SSF cons, though not for some time. A lot of sex happens at SSF cons...)

Now, apparently while men with education are generally marrying women with similar levels of education, women are frequently marrying men with less. Which is what you'd expect with so many more women getting post secondary degrees. But it is generally men who are doing something with their lives.

I don't think most women - especially women who have their shit together - are interested in having a relationship with a man who is shiftless, unambitious, or otherwise floundering. So a man who has learned a trade and is doing okay probably won't have much problem finding a partner (as long as he has reasonable social skills, hygiene, etc.) Whereas a man who works on and off, part-time, for the local thrift store, is more likely to struggle.

This isn't about how men are expected to work while women keep house - these are generally career women. But I haven't met many shiftless men who were any good around the house, either.

Churchneanderthal · 2025-04-15T22:39:55+00:00

Education is really important to me and highly educated men are more interesting. I like a man to be able to hold nerdy conversations with me and this and that. The higher earning power of course is something everybody likes.

Title	Men not going to college
Author	BlackRichard420
Upvotes	96
Comments	465
Date	April 15, 2025 6:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jzyyb6/men_not_going_to_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-not-going-to-college.1549687 https://theredarchive.com/post/1549687

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