Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “.

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2026-03-10T21:28:29+00:00

Another way people describe this is women want to be dominated and mistreated as long as she and the guy doing it are both "in on it".

And this is all part of the same gender symmetry of men think of dying in a war the way women think of being r*ped. Men love games and sports that simulate war in some way, but everyone needs to be in on it, because we don't actually want to die or be confronted with genuine life-or-death hatred and/or fear. The female equivalent is a bit more awkward to talk about but it follows the same pattern.

ThatSyd · 2026-03-10T14:16:02+00:00

From what I can tell, it's simpler than that. People are so inconsistent and hypocritical. Most women aren't consistent, and they don't need a man to be consistent. What they ask of themselves, and their partner, is to signal virtue in a way that's consistent with the current moral order. Privately conservative is fine, if not expected, but you need to be publicly, conspicuously liberal.

Axis_Control · 2026-03-10T15:04:55+00:00

"Controlling social conservative", wtfs that even mean?

You never even defined your terms and that's unrelated to sex.

petellapain · 2026-03-11T00:35:26+00:00

This is all okay to desire and even makes sense. Its just a shame they require it and seem to lack the capacity to want normal men as they are at any reasonable range. I might desire a 9 with an hourglass body who's a gamer and a mens rights activist and also enjoys racist humor, a low body count but insatiable for only me somehow. But I accept such a contradictory woman is a fantasy. I can accept and even live with a typical feminist minded woman with air headed lefty opinions about anything, a decent body, a cute face and a stupid job who wants cats instead of kids and wants to hyphenate her last name, as long as she liked me, treated me well and the sex was consistent. I feel like thats an extremely reasonable compromise that could allow people to continue to pair up. Instead western dating is no settling, Red flags, balloon popping, 4b, swipe left, etc over stupid "incompatibilities"

pachacuti092 · 2026-03-11T17:14:07+00:00

This is actually probably the only red pill take that I sort of agree with. I consider myself a pretty liberal guy but I've noticed that a lot of women like guys that "act and dress like an f boy" but aren't one.

alotofironsinthefire · 2026-03-10T14:47:16+00:00

but they definitely do prefer men who are masculine, dominant, confident,

None of these things are sexist. And it's weird that you think they are

Content_Concert_2555 · 2026-03-10T14:46:03+00:00

What acts of casual sexism are you talking about?

PassengerCultural421 · 2026-03-10T16:44:36+00:00

I have made numerous post about feminist cakism.

Talking_Tanuki · 2026-03-10T12:37:33+00:00

Sexual dominance doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with benevolent sexism. The same goes for being a provider.

I think a lot of people struggle to tell the difference between benevolent sexism and caring for your partner simply because you love them.

My husband does a lot of little and big things to make my life easier, but they come from love, not from the idea that women are inherently inferior. It’s no different when I do things for him. I take care of him because I love him, not because I think men are inferior.

thediablowizard · 2026-03-10T15:00:29+00:00

Womens actions demonstrate they want conservative men who act liberal. Like chameleons the men become "liberal" because they are appealing to pussy pedestal.

Much of our society works like this. Just look at immigration policy. Goes right out the window once people start being authentic.

DriverInitial8305 · 2026-03-10T12:24:34+00:00

This is true but most men are also looking for the benefits of patriarchy without the downsides ie paying all the bills etc. Humans tend to favor things that are easy

Large_Bed_4251 · 2026-03-10T15:44:51+00:00

"Benevolent misogyny" is an oxymoron. The idea of lovingly hating someone makes absolutely no sense.

The whole idea is a way for feminists to twist them into a pretzel to reconcile the existence of both female supremacy and patriarchy theory when they directly contradict one another.

balhaegu · 2026-03-10T14:29:56+00:00

Women like a man who has balls to have an opinion that he calls his own. It doesnt matter what the opinion is. Why do you think even serial killers get hundreds of love letters?

In a shit hits the fan situation the man who has the balls is more likely to survive and protect his woman than someone who performs to please others. Thats why.

Its all based in evolutionary instinct.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-03-10T12:37:20+00:00

Sometimes when i read stuff like this i wonder why it's so weird for men and what are they really like.

I like people who have agency, who are assertive, confident, decisive. That is gender neutral. And since i'm straight, i'm attracted to men and like those qualities in those i date. And since i want to date someone who would also like me, then those qualities would show in our relationship in a way that shows that he likes me. Like planning a date, having initiative etc.

I'm really flabbergasted to why it's so foreign concept to men? What do you really want to be? You want to be insecure and uncapable? Or you want to suppress anyone you meet and dominate to the point of another people losing their personalities? Or you find the idea that you have to work to earn money atrocious? And then who is supposed to provide for you? Like what are you really complaining about?

WanabeInflatable · 2026-03-10T14:44:01+00:00

I.e to eat cake and have it. Nothing new. Have all the benefits and no downsides of both "patriarchy" and "equality".

fucksiclepizza · 2026-03-10T19:02:14+00:00

Every person on earth is capable of acts of casual sexism.

Foundthecure · 2026-03-10T18:22:19+00:00

"Benevolent misogyny" seems to really be tripping people up. Its real, its a real word, op didnt make it up. here is the chatgpt answer for those too lazy:

“Benevolent sexism” is a real term from social psychology. It was popularized by psychologists Peter Glick and Susan Fiske in the 1990s as part of their Ambivalent Sexism Theory.

The idea is that some attitudes toward women seem positive on the surface but still reinforce traditional gender roles. Examples would be things like:

“Women should be protected by men.”
“Women are naturally more pure or morally superior.”
“A man should provide so a woman doesn’t have to work.”

Researchers call it “benevolent” because it feels polite or protective, but they argue it still treats women as dependent or fragile rather than equal adults.

So the framework basically splits sexism into two types:

Hostile sexism – openly negative beliefs about women.
Benevolent sexism – seemingly positive beliefs that still reinforce traditional roles.

Whether people agree with the concept is another question, but it’s not something OP invented.

There can be benevolent homophobia, benevolent racism, benevolent misandry etc... its far from a new concept

Gravel_Roads · 2026-03-10T12:30:10+00:00

capable of acts of casual sexism

You might have to give an example of what this looks like. Cuz I don’t see a lot of women liking casual sexism.

Now, CONFIDENCE? Absolutely. Everyone likes confidence. Not just women.

Being confident has nothing to do with misogyny.

If anything, a confident man wouldn’t need to rely on a system that oppresses women to feel comfortable.

KayRay1994 · 2026-03-10T14:51:35+00:00

Masculine, dominant and confident don’t belong with “casual acts of sexism”

Also, wanting a financial provider isn’t even ‘sexism’ by any stretch of the term. To add to this desire for a provider has gone down over time and the desire for a more equal partner has gone up (and shocker: masculine, dominant and confident don’t translate to controlling or provider automatically

As for your novel bit… the way fiction works is fascinating to say the least. Often it is a safe place to explore the limits of our fantasies and invision some role. Like I sure as hell don’t want to find some forbidden flame to destroy the world, nor do I think existence is so irredeemable that it has to go - but when given complete control that’s where I take my video game characters. I’m also sure the vast majority of FPS players don’t want to be personally shot down, most slasher movie viewers don’t actually want to be chased by a maniacal killer and the list goes on. What we gravitate to in fiction does not reflect our desires to reality nor do they describe what want from our lives.

rejected-again · 2026-03-10T20:03:36+00:00

They want men capable of being dangerous to others but gentle with her. Like people who get pitbulls thinking that nothing bad can happen to them. It's pure delusion.

CatchPhraze · 2026-03-10T15:51:22+00:00

And most men want a super hot virgin who fucks like a pro but only for him.

It's like people like things that favor them and dislike things that don't favor them. Also water is wet.

PattayaVagabond · 2026-03-10T20:29:56+00:00

No woman I know wants a liberal man.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-03-10T12:36:10+00:00

Why, oh why. Do we continuously see men telling everyone what women want?

Unless your a women, you have no business telling everyone want they want

This is your fantasy, it’s not real life

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ChaoticAmoebae · 2026-03-10T14:57:24+00:00

Many women do not want the men in their books. Fantasy is best as fantasy sometimes.

lovehateroutine · 2026-03-11T06:26:10+00:00

absolutely

lesliecarbone · 2026-03-10T12:30:27+00:00

Benevolent misogyny is a contradiction in terms.

Emergency-Sell-6713 · 2026-03-10T12:38:40+00:00

Tell yourself whatever you want to justify your actions lol

Solondthewookiee · 2026-03-10T13:06:15+00:00

Consensual sexual dominance is not misogyny.

and a man who can financially provide without telling them to stay home.

So they both want to be providers. This is also not misogyny.

romantic novels

And men love trans porn and milf porn, does that mean men want trans women and older women despite what they say?

Creative_cacti · 2026-03-10T14:07:18+00:00

Who wants socially liberal men? Yuck.

Tylikcat · 2026-03-10T16:31:24+00:00

I'm not going to dig out the link, which I've posted more than once, but "dominance" is what men tend to put down about what women want. If you give women a chance to put down what they really care about, dominance is pretty low - but women do prefer partners who are assertive and competent.

The provider bit is more tricky, because if you are looking for someone to build a life with, yes, women will favor more financially successful partners. Bearing and raising children are really hard. And there are a lot of advantages to someone being with the kid when they're very small. Especially in a country that doesn't have guaranteed paid maternity leave at all (and those companies that do offer it don't offer it for very long - Microsoft was at six weeks when I was there) having a partner who can support the family during this period is especially useful. (Mind, when I was looking at having kids I also had hundreds of thousands of dollars in stock options to fall back on.)

(Yet another reason I prefer the Swedish model - 420 days of leave to split between the partners, and excellent and heavily subsidized daycare.)

YveisGrey · 2026-03-10T14:10:39+00:00

It’s not sexism to want to be courted. Women get courted because eggs are expensive and sperm is cheap. Females being selective is pretty standard. Sexism and patriarchy stems from men hating the fact that their sperm is worthless and designing a system to keep women as second class citizens so they are forced to give them a chance in the mating market. They hate women having sexual agency. So it’s not a contradiction at all that feminist women want to be courted that’s the point. We want to choose men and set the standards for access meanwhile the chauvinist men want to force women to be with them out of desperation

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-03-10T16:16:01+00:00

Let’s have examples of casual/benevolent sexism other than manners

Potential-Item5629 · 2026-03-11T09:02:14+00:00

Women, like men, have both the capacity for instinct and for reasoning.

Having instincts about your match being tall, rich, goodlooking and dominant being good is not wanting ”benevolent misogyny”. Just like having instincts about your match having big boobs, wide hips, good looks and nurturing personality being good is not is not wanting ”benevolent misandri”.

Instincts are instincts. We can’t help being born with them but we also do not have to be slaves under them.

We can choose to disregard instincts for reasoning in order to make better choices. Like not going for the rich, dominant and goodlooking guy who is a misogynist conservative but use our brains to make better choices. Like choosing to date that socially liberal guy you wrote about.

mvslice · 2026-03-11T21:27:30+00:00

I'm a married male Leftist in his 30’s, and I had no problem getting laid in college (before meeting my wife.) I’m 6’3”, wear masculine clothing, and I own a bunch of tools that I restored, and I don’t play video games.

I know most of you virgins are jerking it to anime girls, and have no skills or hobbies outside of gaming. The worst part is that if you just stopped hating women, and actually tried to talking to them, you all wouldn’t be so fucking miserable.

I know you are all going to ignore everything I said after my height, because you care more than women do.

bluestjuice · 2026-03-10T20:58:11+00:00

I hesitate to say "most" women want any single thing, since there are obviously a significant number of women who specifically do want a god-fearing conservative man.

But if we sort of handwave that part, this sounds like saying that women want men who are not controlling and socially liberal, but also still find traditional 'manly' qualities like being ambitious, decisive, and strong to be attractive. Which sounds pretty true in an extremely general sense.

The argument I think you're driving at under here is that women are quicker to buy in to progressive ideas that liberate themselves from gender norms than they are to buy in to ideas that liberate men from gender norms. Which I think is probably a fair thing to observe. The question is really what to do with that observation, and where attraction is concerned, there's a fine line between discussion of certain expectations being rooted in arbitrary gendered ideas, and critiquing individuals for their personal feelings of attraction. In my opinion no individual is very likely to engage thoughtfully with their own attraction cues while feeling defensive about them. I think it's more useful to analyze these ideas intellectually and in the general, which can open the door to changing opinions about certain gender norms in the general, and from there perhaps prompt further self-reflection in some people.

Pale_Will_5239 · 2026-03-10T22:28:54+00:00

With whom are you in love against?

Winter-Item4335 · 2026-03-11T00:27:03+00:00

Speak for your self. No women I know myself included would give the time of day to a liberal man. Confident masculine liberals that are capable of sexual dominating us? Sister there are no liberal men like you dream of! They are all fake weak light in their liberal loafers swifts. Stop type casting and labeling men to suit your political correctness warped idea of what you obviously have little experience with. Sound just like the old maid single democrats I hear blabbing at work. Put your guard down accept men as they are and quit going through life screwing your face up at every man you encounter. Broaden your outlook a shut your mouth intellectual stimulating conversation is for the movies you watch alone with your cats while I sit beside my blue collar service mechanic who’s politics I never knew through 7 years of dating and now 30 years of marriage. Stop thinking you sound like you’re not good at it.

Title	Most women want socially liberal men who are capable of engaging in “benevolent misogyny “.
Author	FeedCreepy9403
Upvotes	297
Comments	489
Date	March 10, 2026 12:21 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rpvexs/most_women_want_socially_liberal_men_who_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/most-women-want-socially-liberal-men-who-are.1575160 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575160

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