Ladies, what would you say most guys you have rejected have in common?

mandoa_sky · 2020-01-27T04:23:00+00:00

1) talked about sex before date set up

2) expected me to act like a gf before we'd even been on one date

3) smelled awful

inkybreadbox · 2020-01-27T06:04:13+00:00

I think of nearly every man I have rejected over the last year, every single one displayed pushy/aggressive/temper tantrum type behavior. Honestly really surprised how common this is. Some also displayed jealous behavior very early. And at least 75% would not stop texting me incessantly.

squirrelfoot · 2020-01-27T07:11:12+00:00

I didn't know them when they asked me out. They were mostly strangers in the street, and some of them were aggressive and frightening. I have never been interested in dating people I know nothing about.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-27T09:48:42+00:00

Wanted sex but didn’t show interest in the person attached to the vagina.

QueenCousland86 · 2020-01-27T05:29:30+00:00

Aggressiveness. Both sexual and just in general.

azngirl7689 · 2020-01-27T04:23:13+00:00

Pushed for sex way too fast. Chill dude, i haven’t given you any OK that I want to fuck you. Aggressively texting me about blowjobs and the size of your dick won’t do the trick.

ayyzfordays · 2020-01-27T06:42:52+00:00

Being too pushy
Being indirect/way too nonchalant/wishy-washy/texting but not planning a date
Says anything sexual in the early stages especially if we haven't established any sort of intimacy yet or tries to pressure me into sex when i'm not ready
Tries to neg me

itsjbuttz · 2020-01-27T04:44:16+00:00

Too pushy

spunkybeef294 · 2020-01-27T07:36:43+00:00

Guys who just walk up and blatantly ask for my information (no convo, no ice breaker) it feels aggressive and like a tactic to "trick" people into saying yes (like because they approach it as if they're in a hurry people who get frazzled by that would knee jerk reaction to answer their question/do whatever is needed to end the stressful interaction. And that doesn't sit well with me for obvious reasons.

merewautt · 2020-01-27T08:28:13+00:00

Personality-wise there are certain personality types I find extremely unattractive and reject consistently. These are all pretty much separate "types", and not just one kind of person described by all these points:

-extremely predictable pretentious dude. He thinks negativity is intelligence. Gets all opinions from one of three websites, and once I know which one it is it's like being a mind reader. Gives you way too much kudos for having basic general knowledge about anything because you're a girl. Would swears that's "not why", if you called him on it.

-extremely uptight guy. He craves stability and has illogical attachments to "the rules". They have no sense of adventure or shades of grey. Comes off extremely childlike in deep conversations. If whatever you're discussing wasn't the case case in 1990s middle America, then it's obviously ridiculous (in their minds). No big picture thinking at all. Pretty average in person and hard to spot at first.

-Trashy or just barely average dude, but doesn't know it because they surround themselves with even trashier people. Acts like basic adult activities are impressive "I have house, car, and job" is in their dating profile, like a weirdo. Will send you an aggressive message about "maturity" if you don't answer them, even if you're complete strangers and they just found you on social media

-Exhausting dude, who thinks anything in the world that doesn't boost his self esteem is somehow immoral ("sOcIal mEdiA") . King of the underdogs. Watched too many teen movies and identifies way too hard with horrible characters who think happier, more attractive people just existing and not kissing his ass is some sort of dystopian hurdle his life is on course to overcome. Way too Online^tm in general. Thinks he comes off as a normie but oozes weird internet culture. Is embarrassing to watch in social situations. Huge chip on shoulder that's actually a superiority complex.

-Certain professions that come with lifestyles I wouldn't enjoy. Army, cops, "entrepreneurs", farmers, any religious professions

Physically:

-Not into tattoos, one or two isn't a deal breaker but if he'd describe himself as "tattooed" in general, then it really ruins even an otherwise attractive guy for me. This applies way less for casual stuff vs longterm.

-Buzz cuts. I actually don't mind completely bald, but buzz cuts remind me of small children, and people fresh into the army

-Apathetic clothing style. I like a lot of different looks on a guy from casual to dressy, but I'm a sucker for high quality and details, so they all involve the guy caring about his outfits at least somewhat. If his uniform is a "catch phrase" t shirt and cargo shorts, it's a no from me dog. If he only owns like two pairs of shoes then he's not my type.

-Extremely skinny. I don't love really overweight guys either but I'm even less attracted to emaciated. A BMI from the middle of the health range to the top is what I'm open to. Just average basically.

-Unflattering glasses. I don't mind glasses and have bad eyesight myself (although I wear contacts 99% of the time), but for some reason often guys have frames that are real turnoffs. Either by being really unappealing on their own (transitions, lime green, etc) or just by being unflattering to that particular person, I'm a face person way more than a body person so it easily ruins attraction for me.

Just for less negativity here are some deal"makers" I have:

-Creativity. I have soft spot for artists of all types and especially love an offbeat sense of humor.

-Maturity/wordliness, I like people who think "big picture" and can contextualize their problems and blessings in historical time and place.

-I find people who can be extremely disciplined fascinating, intimidating, and attractive

-I like a lot of mustaches, I think they're very charming and give people good smiles. (I'm talking Tom Selleck not a pubestache, though.)

-On a similar note bushy eyebrows

-Thick legs make me weak

-Love a guy with a way different accent from mine

LittyKitsune · 2020-01-27T03:45:12+00:00

Coming on too strong, too fast. None of the guys I've dated asked me out right after meeting. I need to be comfortable around a guy before even considering a date.

Barneysparky · 2020-01-27T04:31:52+00:00

Not enjoying my company and yet still asking to be in my company is the largest reason.

caseywasey2 · 2020-01-27T11:01:07+00:00

Man, this topic really brought out some nice guys, didn't it?

YrsaMajor · 2020-01-27T04:32:54+00:00

Other than the guy who I rejected because he asked me out at the dump it was because all of them were drunk, sloppy, and chain smoking.

Those I rejected after the first date it was because the kiss sucked. I had a guy open his mouth so wide that his teeth scraped my lips and it was just a giant NO. There was the guy close mouth kissed me so hard my gums bled.

After that I ended up just dating military guys and attorneys. Not sure what they have in common besides they're feisty and/or dated enough to not chew my face off.

verilyvermillion · 2020-01-27T04:41:39+00:00

Ugly/not my type, screamed obscenities from a carr window, or boring usually

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-01-27T04:46:00+00:00

Bad hygiene, poor grooming and victim mindset... low self-awareness.. indifference to me while simultaneously being interested: saying more about themselves and their sexuality, than actually getting to know me and what they like.

Under these three:

There is a difference between "testing my boundaries" and not acknowledging they exist.

Yes, you can test my boundaries, if you respectfully acknowledge they exist. That is the problem with low self-awareness and indifference to mine. Men with victim mindsets have the lowest conflict resolution strategies, and would make ill-fit partners.

GypsyDanger_1013 · 2020-01-27T12:23:04+00:00

The "I have a broken past, please fix me" type guys. Having a less than stellar upbringing isn't an excuse to fail as an adult. This tends to go hand in hand with men expecting you to be their second mom. I'll take care of my man, but if I have to teach him basic things like hygiene, cleaning, and how to have basic ambition in life, I'm out.

kandyapplez · 2020-01-27T12:25:21+00:00

in the last year? nearly every guy i ended up rejecting for being too young for me for relationship purposes. i had actually thought that younger guys would be more than happy to just get some casual sex and fun with an older gal that wasn't really leading towards anything but that turned out to not be true. one of them still hate my guts for this even today, and he is probably the most stereotypical "chad" dude ive ever messed around with lol

edit: well those are obviously the guys i was open to sex with, as for the guys who weren't good enough for even that? uh lmfao WHAT idk, they had having a penis in common??

caseywasey2 · 2020-01-27T03:45:24+00:00

I have a fairly long list, as I've been single for over a year and keep to my boundaries.

Guys who try to move too fast. Who text me all day and I can't get anything done. Guys who give too much advice or suggestions how to live my life that I didn't ask for. Guys who seem to have too many options besides me. Guys who are all over the place in their emotions. Guys just too young for me. Guys who make "jokes" when they're really being mean. Guys who manipulate or show any form of prejudice. Poly guys. Guys who had drug problems or narcissistic tendencies.

It's rare I reject on looks. There is a guy I reject thinking I just wasn't attracted to him... But he moves too fast and we don't click personality wise so I don't think his looks are the issue.

One time, a guy tried to pick me up in the most awkward way and I could not even stop thinking about him. But I had a bf at the time and later, I found out he was a jerk.

I don't usually like being "picked up" anyway. I'm old fashioned.

Same-Bad · 2020-01-27T03:43:47+00:00

They were all rejected! That is the common denominator.

jalapenopancakes · 2020-01-27T04:31:40+00:00

Usually fell into one of two camps: crazy aggressive and pushing for sex, or couldn’t plan a date to save his life. Texting and texting and texting and texting without the guy ever making a move is such a turn off to me.

Dolphin_Moon · 2020-01-27T04:36:34+00:00

i didnt feel chemistry. felt like i was talking to a wall. kissing and sex can look past in the beginning unless it becomes an issue.

pample_meese · 2020-01-27T11:15:23+00:00

I’m only interested in guys I have gotten to know and can consider in a group of friends.

So I’ve rejected 100% of guys who have ever approached me in a bar or club, that’s for sure. Just don’t bother.

If we’re at a party with mutual friends, I’ll talk to a few guys, but I’m ultimately going to choose who I really want to talk to from there. A lot of the times, I’m the one approaching him. So it’s not a matter of rejecting everyone else it’s a matter of not giving then further attention to the ones who didn’t prove in a social circle that they’re cool, attractive or otherwise have something to offer.

flamingoinghome · 2020-01-27T11:42:17+00:00

They scared me.

Either by being too aggressive, talking about sex before we'd even met in person, talking about "our relationship" before we'd even met in person, or by revealing some opinion/belief I found personally threatening.

itsrealnibbahours · 2020-01-27T13:16:29+00:00

One guy tried to seduce me in a barn to have sex and said we would have great interracial babies.

unicorns- · 2020-01-27T14:03:09+00:00

In most cases, they were either unattractive, or I found their personalities annoying. A lot of guys would try 'negging' techniques, those guys would always get brutally rejected. I'd at least be polite to someone who just wasn't my type.

LifterofThings · 2020-01-27T18:00:55+00:00

1) No sense of humor

2) Non-white (sry, my lizard brain likes what it likes)

3) Smelled bad

4) Incompatible worldviews on stuff like children, religion

Iluvalmonds83 · 2020-01-27T19:05:54+00:00

-acting like a little bitch. I’m a fairly direct, strong willed, and somewhat dominant woman. The minute I sense you can’t handle me like a man should, get intimidated by me, or have too much feminine energy about you, I dry up faster than a desert and lose any desire to copulate with you.

-attempting to treat me like a low value pump and dump. Be it a casual or committed relationship, I usually look for someone reliable and recurring and disclose that up front. Usually it doesn’t take long to weed out flaky, transient guys that say they’re looking for the same but don’t embody that in their actions.

-possessing the loser mentality. Little to no confidence or drive to do something with his life. If you don’t think much of yourself, I’m not going to think much of you either.

Bekiala · 2020-01-27T04:01:59+00:00

Conversational skills and a lack of interest in me. The two kind of go together.

FrustratedBlueberry · 2020-01-27T06:38:41+00:00

The guys I rejected when I was single was usually didn't seem to know anything about me or even spoken to me before the asking me out through a DM.

"What's up"

"Hi, I'm sorry that I don't remember but where do I know you from?"

"Hey I saw you hanging out today at/with ______."

"Ok...."

Then they message me every 3 or 4 hours on what I'm doing... Usually fizzle out from there.

C0mpL1c1t · 2020-01-27T07:39:32+00:00

Low EQ or low IQ.

pongaminbloom · 2020-01-27T06:25:53+00:00

Poor personal grooming and/or hygiene.

Reisiluu · 2020-01-27T08:13:54+00:00

They didn't ask me out when I was 18 or younger whilst being slightly older themselves.

There were things I thought were turn offs but not all men have them in common. Being too sexually aggressive, being a terrible kisser, bad hygiene or dental health, balding in their 20s, mental illness, severe acne, offering to do my homework/assignments as if I'm not capable, being younger than me, deciding to approach me based on my appearance alone, being drunk or having such abnormal body language and way of speaking that I get a sting of real fear in my spine and have to gtfo.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-01-27T09:06:51+00:00

Physical features- shorter than me, bad hygiene, had an unattractive face, too scrawny, too fat

Personality- pretty shallow personality, had no hobbies, didn’t love animals, liberal, talking too much about abstract concepts, or highly argumentive

Pick up approach- I like men that pursue. Shy guys ain’t getting my time of day. I like boisterous men that talk to you with enthusiasm. I myself talk a lot IRL and love conversation, if you can’t keep up then go away.

Also talking to them and finding out they have no drive or goals. Their work ethic is shit. Their life revolves around weed.

[deleted] · 2020-01-27T09:28:52+00:00

Physically: Weak jawline, Weak chin, Acne everywhere, Crusty lips/nose, frail figure, ugly teeth, about as short as me, ugly nose, thin lips, bad cheekbones, poor hygiene, sunken eyes/protruding eyes, caveman -brow bones.

Other: Low-self awareness, testing my boundaries after I said no, wanting to be sexual quickly, arrogance, huge ego, lack of respect for me and himself, pretentious, demanding, presumptuous, boring/unopen to change, obnoxious.

lycheenme · 2020-01-27T10:23:01+00:00

very sexual early on and frequently
disrespectful of my boundaries
dudes who had anger issues and would blow up at me when it was inappropriate instead of talking about their problems/my problems calmly
manipulative/negging behaviour
generally if they're overweight i'm not interested
kinda muscular/slightly overweight/beefy dudes turn me off
boring, difficult to hold a conversation with, expected me to carry the conversation
took themselves too seriously

it seems like kind of a long list compared to other ladies here but honestly most of these things are easy to avoid, except the body type thing, that's a little harder to change.

uniqueeleni · 2020-01-27T11:44:33+00:00

The ones I have rejected that approach me when I am out and about are mostly significantly uglier than me and don’t have the personality to make up for it, if that’s even possible. The ones I have rejected on tinder are all passable in the looks department (otherwise I wouldn’t have swiped right) so what they have in common is very bad game and social skills- annoying/boring/rude personality.

ight_here_we_go · 2020-01-27T12:21:12+00:00

Girls I've rejected:

My expectations for a dating partner:

Will to live:

Midnightcat2597 · 2020-01-27T13:01:05+00:00

Couldn´t keep a conversation going (text or phone call)
Didn´t have their own opinion, agreed to everything I said
Wanted to forcefully waste money/lavish me with gifts I didn´t ask for and assumed I owed them sex/feelings because of it
After the first date they claimed I was the love of their life
Would block me/ignore my calls/not want to talk things out if something that deserved to be talked about happened
Physically, I don´t have a type but a guy that smells badly doesn´t get my attention

[deleted] · 2020-01-27T13:12:13+00:00

When they approach me in a non- social situation (grocery store, park, beach ect)

They looked different from their profile pics

They seem socially inept/ contrived

Being too pushy and not reading body language/ social cues

FreakXAurora · 2020-01-27T13:12:14+00:00

Sent unsolicited penis images 2.were quite degrading
Were a bit too forward.

shockedpikachu123 · 2020-01-27T13:21:52+00:00

No correlation in physical appearance
Financially and emotionally unstable - no secure jobs or secure goals for the future/tend to lash out in anger in really unhealthy ways
NEGGING - insulting me to get my attention. Calling me out and Demanding a date with me. Talking about his ex..

SleepPrincess · 2020-01-27T14:40:54+00:00

I've really never been approached by much of anyone. And I can confirm I'm at least reasonably attractive and I have a normal BMI with 34dd boobies. My face is at least reasonable.

Seriously, I can't even think of enough guys that have approached me that ive either accepted or rejected to give you an analysis.

I did have one guy just straight up ask me to fuck him. He was a stranger at a rooftop bar and I had talked to him for about 10 minutes before he asked. I said no. There was nothing wrong with him, but I was unwilling to put myself in danger by going to a private place with a stranger.

OddButton6 · 2020-01-27T15:10:42+00:00

Too pushy and aggressive....

goatismycopilot · 2020-01-27T15:15:48+00:00

Usually personality traits I dislike. Looks play in as well but it is generally a combination of those two. A hot asshole is still an asshole. A hot dumb gut is still dumb.

41013 · 2020-01-27T16:36:29+00:00

Not attracted to them despite other compatibility

Or

Shitty behavior despite attraction

Or

Not attracted AND shitty behavior

You know, like the vast majority of women in the world, despite what the men here believe. This isn’t rocket surgery or brain science.

prowlings · 2020-01-27T18:07:54+00:00

Low effort (expect me to do the mental work in planning dates or other logistical things)
Not attractive to me (receding hairline, clearly don't work out, shorter than me)
Inadequate ambition in life
Inadequate respect for women

northern_spaces · 2020-01-27T21:23:07+00:00

Coming on too strong too quickly/being clingy/creepy.

ontherailstoday · 2020-01-28T01:09:26+00:00

I've only ever been with guys I've known and liked at least several months before I dangled IOI and a romance approach resulted. Every approach that did not fit that criteria has been rejected out of hand.

Pola_Lita · 2020-01-27T06:48:14+00:00

A lack of attractiveness or intelligence.

siggee02 · 2020-01-27T07:28:24+00:00

Too pushy and/or too aggressive. Poor hygiene is also a major turn-off

Iamthegirliam · 2020-01-27T09:12:29+00:00

Too horny or obsessed about sex. I had guys whou would tell me that they want to fuck me till I can't walk on my first day. Once a guy told me that I should blow him (I was a virgin!) so I could learn how to do it to please my future boyfriend. Bleh. I would imediately ghost them

Other than that, creepy guys, "energy vampires" wanting to know my every move. And don't get me started about lack of higiene or proper outfit.

Willow-girl · 2020-01-27T04:37:52+00:00

I sensed weakness.

mangolover97 · 2020-01-27T03:52:36+00:00

conversational skills, hygiene, age, race, temperament and ambitions.

what_about_the_birds · 2020-01-27T05:07:14+00:00

Not my type, my type has always been skinny, tall, (coincidentally gamer) dudes. I am a fairly introverted, quiet person and these men have been overtly pushy.

NarniaFox · 2020-01-27T05:48:40+00:00

Creepy. Much older guys tried to ask me out several times. Some of them were total strangers. And I do find it creepy, when a guy asks out a teenager.

It's hard to say what others had in common, I think some of them were too desperate and thirsty in some sense.

LadyE123 · 2020-01-27T08:02:24+00:00

Desperate for sex right away.

Nevidimka- · 2020-01-27T09:45:37+00:00

The first rule is offcourse not attractive enough. The attractive guys I turned down were mostly turned down for coming off arrogant or like a mean spirited person or like a negative minded person. Coming on too strong is also a huge one,

emerald_priestess · 2020-01-27T10:26:07+00:00

I didnt find them attractive. nuff said

RF111164 · 2020-01-27T15:42:44+00:00

Overly masculine, douchy and/or arrogant

Any sort of gang/badboy vibe or look

"Nice guys"/whiny people pleasers, pushy guys, guys who say/think they are "intellectuals" etc

2020-01-27T21:22:41+00:00

[deleted]

atlantisasalover · 2020-01-27T21:47:23+00:00

This makes me sound like a stuck up bitch but lack of effort. I used to have guys that would confess "feelings" for me very early on, try to be serious, and of course I didn't feel the same because why would I when I barely know you from adam, they'd get very salty and mad when I was very nonchalant. My philosophy is if you want a chill normal relationship, act chill and normal. If you want to start off with all these confessions, "I could treat you so much better than your ex", YOU created those standards for yourself to live up for and created a dynamic where you're trying to impress me. I don't believe in talk, I believe in action. I let the man lead and if he's talking big and not following through, then I reject him immediately.

Of course this ends up with me being labeled cold hearted, "not relationship material", lol.

Tomatoccino · 2020-01-29T03:19:33+00:00

Too pushy. Men after sex who act like cold calling telemarketers are just as appealing. Also; dick picks. Why? A dick is ugly.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-02-02T17:54:22+00:00

They were attractive but approached me on jobs & at places I regularly go to

JudasJudasJudas · 2020-02-03T00:02:17+00:00

Not being self aware, not willing to listen to me, is stupid, and not being funny

DungeonsandDoodles · 2020-03-04T00:21:07+00:00

1.) Very sexually aggressive/pushy 2.) Rude to other women for literally no reason other than they thought said women were unattractive 3.) Tried to put be on a weird pedestal and wanted to "worship" me rather than just be a partner.

Financial_Plant · 2020-01-27T03:57:54+00:00

[deleted]

eveleaf · 2020-01-28T00:33:46+00:00

I'm only attracted to people I get really close to, first, so by definition, everyone else is on the "no thank you" list.

I know this isn't normal, but I can't personally imagine trying to do it the other way around (date first before even knowing if it's possible to feel close and connected to someone). That's just not how attraction works for me. Until we put in some time and build a connection, I feel nothing romantic or sexual. Dating under those conditions would feel like lying.

[deleted] · 2020-01-28T01:03:05+00:00

In terms of physical features, almost nothing. I've turned down men who I found very attractive, usually because of arrogance on their part. Or because they were looking for a one night stand. I'm also not very into men who have huge beards and/or are overweight. Or men who are a lot older than me. Greasy hair, or lack of hair, is also a turn off. Also if they are shorter than me it's a no. But I'm 5'2 so I don't think that's asking for much.

Personality - There was just something off about them. Either because I didn't know them very well (randoms on the street), or because they were some combination of self-absorbed, insecure, unintelligent, immature, or overly judgemental. Basically if they don't put me at ease, I'm not interested. If we can't have a deep and meaningful, what's the point?

Pick up approach - I'm too suspicious of PUAs for this to ever work. And maybe it's cause I'm introverted, but I hate being approached at random. It's always corny and it makes me feel self-conscious. On dating apps - being too sexual from the start.

Loki-lynn · 2020-01-28T06:23:19+00:00

Not bothering to bathe or look presentable (casual is fine, a dirty shirt or gym shorts aren’t)
Expecting he’s going to stay the night/wanting sex right away.
Being religious ( I’m an atheist, it won’t work)
Not saying much.
Looking at other women while I’m talking.
If it’s a dinner date and I’m still chatting with you after you’ve paid, then yes I like you. Take your time and talk to me a little.
Not opening doors for me.
Constantly checking your phone.
Bitching about your ex.
You live with your parents. (I’m too old for that shit)
You live with your ex. (Yeah you’re not single, so fuck right off)
Failing to compliment me on my appearance. (It took a lot of time and effort to get ready, some appreciation would be nice)
Failure to walk me to my door. (Be a gentleman. I promise it makes you look better than the hot guys)
Do NOT try to come inside until you’re invited. (This will NEVER be on the first date)

pngmafia97 · 2020-01-27T04:44:31+00:00

facially ugly
my height or shorter
body type deviates too much from conventionally attractive male (small feminine frame or obese)
not go getter enough (asks if he can kiss instead of just doing it)
dirty/smelly

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phlegmdawg · 2020-01-27T05:14:38+00:00

At what stage? Via online dating or after an in person meetup?

the-red_woman · 2020-01-27T09:36:56+00:00

What part of the process are you asking about?

I’ve rejected guys from the first approach to after 3 months of dating. The reasons are obviously different at different points.

JewelM419 · 2020-01-27T05:18:46+00:00

Seems to only care about sex, height/general attractiveness, incompatible personalities. Personality is honestly the biggest factor for me but the others do play a role. And height is only important if they’re less than 2” taller than me/under 5’10

teibe · 2020-01-27T04:58:06+00:00

Tried to have sex with me.

Title	Ladies, what would you say most guys you have rejected have in common?
Author	lmao1969
Upvotes	63
Comments	399
Date	January 27, 2020 3:40 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eui89o/ladies_what_would_you_say_most_guys_you_have/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/ladies-what-would-you-say-most-guys-you-have.315755 https://theredarchive.com/post/315755

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