I will let you guys tear into this one 🤣 keep in mind that the screenshots are NOT from a dating app so that makes it even worse. This app is solely for writing letters to people in different countries and making friends

GlitterLoveAngel · 2021-11-20T09:20:43+00:00

“Girls who have hypocritical double standards with unrealistic demands and delusional expectations”

“Women who shame or insult a guy because he has requirements or standards for females”

Anyone else notice this?

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-11-20T08:07:11+00:00

This one really has everything, and he uses so many words to say NOTHING. He has no interests, no hobbies, no money, no life, but he expects a free cook and prostitute to self-deliver to his house.

They are all so proud of how smart and unique they are, but they are all the same. Every city has thousands of copies of this same exact conceited, immature, boring guy.

frogchickenhorse · 2021-11-20T09:06:13+00:00

I had to google pillow princess, then snorted at the thought that this dude knows any foreplay

penguins12783 · 2021-11-20T09:06:10+00:00

Right we’ll never eating mushrooms again.

Also ‘memorable social media moments’ stuck with me as a WTF? As I took it as I’m looking for someone I can take photos with to brag on the internet rather than actually find someone I want to spend time with.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2021-11-20T08:10:07+00:00

So confusing. He never mentions what he brings to the table besides being ugly, broke and unable to get laid by local women. Also has a pet mushroom he keeps taking about 🤷‍♀️

MyLifeIsWandsXIII · 2021-11-20T07:33:20+00:00

How many red flags can you count? 👀🚩

AND EW I felt like gagging when he kept going on about his "purple mushroom" even just writing it makes me want to wash myself with bleach.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-11-20T08:48:36+00:00

‘Friends with yummy benefits’ god just take me now

BelleCervelle · 2021-11-20T10:40:20+00:00

Everything in this “profile” is terrifying.

It’s almost like he’s putting an ad out for a slave or something. What does he think this is, character creation on a video game??

Calling women “Females,” and what are “Female Favorites” and “Female Failure,” is this guy for real?!

That whole page is a continent of red flags, A CONTINENT. There’s so many red flags I don’t see individual red flags anymore, just a giant blob of red, from so many red flags so close together.

I sick after reading this.

Physical sick to my stomach.

Loud_Foundation_9300 · 2021-11-20T09:28:15+00:00

His pretty purple…what?

nothingt0say · 2021-11-20T12:54:18+00:00

DISGUSTING kick him in the balls and run

that's a metaphorical kick because THANK THE LORD we will never see this absurd and revolting weak excuse for a human in person

BrightIdeaGenerator · 2021-11-20T15:04:54+00:00

All those requirements, and it's still only Netflix and chill friends with benefits! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Confidence_Relative · 2021-11-20T10:15:00+00:00

‘girls that love to reject guys to stroke their own egos’ how twisted and immature is these fucks logic that they think this. I do not know of a woman ever on the planet who rejected a guy she liked to stroke her own ego. Newsflash - She just didn’t like YOU Mr purple dick!

Platipus6 · 2021-11-20T07:49:07+00:00

Why is this guy requesting foreplay? He's stroking himself 24/7

Similar-Tart-4848 · 2021-11-20T09:13:24+00:00

Translation: “I don’t like women who use these labels, as they might have self respect”

ububTkuc · 2021-11-20T15:15:28+00:00

Sooooo many words when he could have just said “I’m a bitter misogynist”!

pinkcorolla · 2021-11-20T09:55:16+00:00

‘purple mushroom head’ is he proudly stating that he has an STI???? 🧐

oscine23 · 2021-11-20T15:09:15+00:00

So many things wrong with this letter/guy. But the mushroom part is mentioned three times, and he practically makes it a requirement. He sounds like a rapist.

lolmemberberries · 2021-11-20T15:19:34+00:00

He wrote a whole novel to say he's a vapid, broke fuckboy who wants girlfriend benefits from whatever women don't know better than to stay away from him.

enchantedglow · 2021-11-20T07:42:56+00:00

Omg I just finished typing my comment when I realized THERE’S 4 MORE PICTURES. This is too much to unpack 😂

YeetMyProblems · 2021-11-20T10:41:02+00:00

"Yummy benefits" Translation: "I hope you ladies enjoy me never making you come!"

I'd laugh if this post didn't make me want to vomit.

Angeli_33 · 2021-11-20T08:16:58+00:00

These are the type of men that are controlling af and get super negative, draining, and angry when you do something spontaneous. They envy women.

W3remaid · 2021-11-20T11:20:38+00:00

The cognitive dissonance of a man who hates women but can think of nothing else..

preppykat3 · 2021-11-20T09:19:08+00:00

This guy REALLY doesn’t wanna get a gf lmao

The_Cat_Empress · 2021-11-20T15:14:03+00:00

What about “Empress”? Because I would just order him around tbh. Also I’ve noticed in scrote speak that “take a joke” is usually “deal with my awful humor that demeans or belittles you” And damn, how far up the “Madonna/Wh*re” rabbit hole is this guy?? Barf! Edit: holy crap I didn’t even read the rest of it. It just gets worse and worse!! I just saw a YT video about a Queen (literally an FDSer I swear) putting a succinct list of what she wants in a man and literally ALL the comments were like “nO wOnDeR sHeS SInGlE” At least she wasn’t word salading what she wanted. Physically ill….I am….

ironglaciers · 2021-11-20T15:20:02+00:00

He has yet to describe any interesting thing about himself or why a woman should bother with him given the standards he wants to put on her. 🙄

TVsFrankismyDad · 2021-11-20T15:59:02+00:00

This has smelly neckbeard written all over it. Probably has a piss bottle collection in his closet.

spliff1506 · 2021-11-20T11:01:26+00:00

Ugh. He used the word “yummy”. Purple mushroom?? I even feel sorry for the women using him to learn English.

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-11-20T14:59:59+00:00

Demanding lil purple mushroom head isn’t he?

Scoobyginger25 · 2021-11-20T15:32:40+00:00

What the fuck is this guy on? This is making my skin crawl “showing off my beautiful purple mushroom head” pervert.

drowsypillowprincess · 2021-11-20T16:43:30+00:00

F E M A L E

That’s the only red flag I need.

Also, sometimes I look up those ask threads where men ask other men what physical or personality characteristics they hate in women and then I specifically go and adopt those things so I can ward off LVM like this loser.

My newest one is those soap eyebrows. Men hate them. I love them.

Bonds_Girl · 2021-11-20T16:06:33+00:00

Broke lazy standard chump. Wants everything you offer and has NOTHING to give in return.

99.9% of all males.

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-11-20T09:42:43+00:00

This looks like how a Pervy male writer writes about his female character

scorchedsouI · 2021-11-20T07:55:49+00:00

Men really think women want male company just to be bffs who care only about "personality" forever. Delusional scrotes, your resources, physical traits and behaviours are all important in dictating your potential for fathering children and giving them a good chance.

This subconscious biological incentive is anything but superficial, it exists even in women who don't want children, and it's one of the reasons a lot of children in this world can have a decent childhood.

It's just biology.

DiosaCordilia · 2021-11-20T10:20:12+00:00

FeEdiNg tHe dUcKiEs ☺☺☺☺

🤢 run

thewetdog_ · 2021-11-20T13:08:04+00:00

“Habitual liars”?

So it’s okay to lie sporadically, gotcha 👍

kansascitydream · 2021-11-20T14:43:51+00:00

To be fair, I read the whole thing, yet I would have nexted him just from his musical tastes. He reeks of scrote from the first line. 🤣 It definitely has to be satire. Especially with the purple mushroom comment. It almost looks like if one of us made a fake profile to make fun of scrotes.

FURYOFCAPSLOCK · 2021-11-20T16:33:17+00:00

FeMaLessssss

curlyhaiir · 2021-11-20T13:08:42+00:00

This made me laugh and cringe so hard at the same time 🤣🤣 Seriously, what’s up with those Scrotes on online dating platforms requesting women to apply to show them they’re worth it? They’re really out here acting as if they were gods gift to women 😭

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-11-20T17:13:43+00:00

"What do you bring to the table?"

I bring donuts and the ability to ghost people!

Inspection-Critical · 2021-11-20T17:16:31+00:00

To get a reply to your letter, answer ALL of these questions

No

daisy_0720 · 2021-11-20T14:02:08+00:00

I want to unread this.

meninadalua · 2021-11-20T11:36:40+00:00

I wish there were more female only apps :(. Hell, I’ve had grandpas trying to date me on LinkedIn

europoor24 · 2021-11-20T13:39:29+00:00

I assume purple head mushroom has to do with his penis?

Dude wants an in house porn star, submissive cook and maid and to be able to fuck other women as well. Feels like I need to sit on my knees and wave my arms and pledge allegiance to some king - that's what this comes off as.

nerd nice?= I'm a nice guy aka you're an asshole, anyone nice never has to say that.

a bunch of crap that seems meant to appeal to women = emotional intelligence, which is sus.

liking animals at least at a general level is the bare minimum?

How can you please a guy? Betch you're more likely to orgasm then I am, it's the other way around.

No intellectual interests? hobbies?

you exercise and listen to music? oh good so do many people

If I have to study this hard for a test or an interview it better be for a high-paying position, not to be some scrote's sex/cooking/cleaning robot.

brylm92 · 2021-11-20T14:35:05+00:00

I use language exchange apps regularly and the amount of scrotes on them lying about their nationality, spoken languages and/or trying to sext/get nudes/find a wife is exhausting 🤦🏻‍♀️ how desperate have you gotta be to turn literally everything into a find-a-free-prostitute platform

punyhumannumber2 · 2021-11-20T17:51:16+00:00

"Girls who have hypocritical double standards with unrealistic demands and delusional expectations" this is code for he is never going to give you an orgasm ever.

Buttercup5555 · 2021-11-20T14:25:24+00:00

I'm sorry but after reading just the first sentence I can't --

ButterfliesHurricane · 2021-11-20T14:11:44+00:00

That’s a lot of words…

‘Desperate guy who has no money and no ego would like free prostitute’. For anyone who can’t be arsed reading 4 pages of narcissistic garbage 🙄.

CrazyPaine · 2021-11-20T11:27:33+00:00

That whole ass essay is a fucking red flag. I skimmed through it and then I read the failures and I skimmed some more. Fucking red flag. I hope he gets the pickme he's looking for.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2021-11-20T20:34:41+00:00

If it’s PURPLE, you need a doctor! 😫

wonkyeyes8877 · 2021-11-20T14:48:31+00:00

Creep. What a fucking creep.

WorkaholicParty · 2021-11-20T14:02:52+00:00

But at the end of the day he's just looking for a FWB (aka a free prostitute who delivers herself to his place for free whenever he wants, bonus if she brings him freshly baked cookies). He's not even like some of these other scrotes on OLD we roast here who are like: "Fine. I'll be in a relationship but I want this, this and this out of you 😠😡😡" (who even wants you dude).

millennialpink2000 · 2021-11-20T17:51:02+00:00

It's always the "free thinkers" who repeat out word for word what their faves spew out

Anyone notice he's "passionate about admitting when he's wrong"? LOLOLOLOL best piece of fiction I've read in a long time. Thanks, I needed that laugh

ArtisticBrilliant491 · 2021-11-20T18:24:03+00:00

"Likes my pretty purple"??? 🤢 My "male failure" is any person who refers to their genitals in this way. Please keep your "purple" and alllllll other colors of the rainbow away from me.

purasangria · 2021-11-20T19:48:18+00:00

Notice how he saves the perversion for the very end, after demanding that she dance like a monkey for him.

Why would any woman sign up for this shit?

Competitive_Bar8657 · 2021-11-20T20:23:11+00:00

So he likes a woman that always agrees, likes everything that he likes, never asks for anything, never complains, settles for anything he gives her, has no opinion, eager to have sex for free whenever/wherever, is supportive, ... FOR ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FREE. A free girlfriend, free blowup doll, free buddy/listener. That free prostitution. The woman gets NOTHING out of this, not even a human treatment(because humans have opinions and needs) and he doesn't even hide it.

What even does he expect from this? Ah, he's probably one of those that "just shoot their shot"...

woadsky · 2021-11-20T13:31:48+00:00

So many words but saying very little about himself. He wants ALL of his questions answered -- sounds like an interrogation. So much entitlement. No I'm not going to "follow your lead".

Eli1984 · 2021-11-20T14:51:22+00:00

Thank you for the laugh 😂

LR_today · 2021-11-20T20:48:38+00:00

There's no way any woman replied to this. Men posing as women however....

GlitteryMoss · 2021-11-20T14:00:37+00:00

Prefiero los hombres políglotas, paso de limitarme a uno que solamente pueda hablar una lengua.

(I prefer men who speak several languages, I can't be arsed to limit myself to one that only speaks one language)

So like, hard pass.

ShittyPianist · 2021-11-20T20:27:23+00:00

WTF is this mushroom thing about? I am appalled at everything about this, but that bit is just... Is it a euphuism? Is his head purple? Does he own mushrooms? What is happening?

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-11-20T21:15:48+00:00

At first I was like ugh the purple mushroom he's referring to is his penis, and then he later confirmed it🤢🤢🤢

nohuman · 2021-11-20T21:49:09+00:00

GOD what a tirade!

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-11-21T14:18:35+00:00

I read the first sentence and then stopped, if a scrote says he is humble in anyway it is a lie and is about to gas himself up with a word salad.

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