Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂

themissdaydreamer · 2022-02-22T23:19:17+00:00

good thing I quit OLD, imagine matching with a Linkedin Pro dude and having him lecture you NFT's, and he will suggest taking a walk as a date because he lost 50k due a bad investment on crypto last week.

srslyitsbad · 2022-02-23T00:55:24+00:00

The sad part is that even if they have a good profile it still means nothing. My ex is a sociopath that used Tinder constantly to cheat on me. He actually has a thoughtful and well-written profile and pics.

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-02-22T21:25:09+00:00

Literally laughed out loud when i got to Simon.

springbabii · 2022-02-22T23:54:57+00:00

A few months ago I told my friend I was ready for a romantic relationship. Her answer: “You will never meet one since you’re not on OLD or go clubbing.” 😒😒 She made me feel less in the moment. I am not an item in a catalogue; the thought alone is uncomfortable to me. I’m a just super happy I never experienced what the pictures above illustrate.

GreytracksuitPants · 2022-02-23T00:05:07+00:00

What about Captain Mysterio and “just ask”

miaumiaoumicheese · 2022-02-23T01:15:37+00:00

That’s amazing, literally always when a man goes on OLD he chooses one of this as his personality

The manchild has also:

Netflix and chill
Good vibes only
Your mom will love me
Only here on vacation, show me around
I’m looking for a good time, not a long time
Van life

reddishfish13 · 2022-02-22T21:03:21+00:00

That last slide made me lol 🤣

See also:

CEO at self employed
Engineer/data scientist/entrepreneur
Come cook with me!
I'm new to the area, show me around!
🐟🎣 Let's do these things together that I usually do with the boys!

malibooyeah · 2022-02-22T21:58:53+00:00

God fuck they're all the same lmao

Kerrypurple · 2022-02-23T00:54:09+00:00

Back when I was on OLD 10 years ago the one phrase I got sick of seeing was "I work hard so I can play hard". That must have been more of a Gen X thing.

mothertuna · 2022-02-22T22:42:45+00:00

I’m sorry to the people this may offend but I cannot stand people using the office as the barometer for humor. If OLD existed like this in the 90s I wonder if it would be a show like Seinfeld or something lol.

notroyaltyyet · 2022-02-22T22:19:24+00:00

Ethically non monogamous, in 7 different relationships? He wishes. They are always greasy as hell and just fed up with their wives who they’ve manipulated into having an open relationship. Then inevitably no one will be interested in them, their wives go on one date and they come on Reddit accusing her of cheating.

gold_sunsets · 2022-02-23T00:51:03+00:00

Why are men on OLD all so predictably similar? I have seen these personalities literally on different continents. Do they copypasta their profiles?

shockingupdate · 2022-02-22T21:10:34+00:00

The millennial urge to swipe through 50 men who look exactly like this before finding one who looks exactly like this but with glasses

Sharing the same 10 personalities among each other like they’re Animal Crossing villagers

belluccellino · 2022-02-22T23:56:28+00:00

THESE ARE SO GOOD!!!

Kind of want to get coasters for my other single friends....

MeanWhatISay · 2022-02-22T21:04:14+00:00

Simon still running from his enemies

_Amarantos · 2022-02-22T23:18:34+00:00

The guy needs to be much less attractive for this to be accurate.

espressomeowtini · 2022-02-22T21:41:56+00:00

I swear to God these are the same recycled ass sorry profiles (and personalities) on OLD no matter what city, state, country you are in. Gave me a good laugh 🤣🤣 here’s to staying far, far away from low effort OLD 🥂

PlumHot7169 · 2022-02-23T00:08:08+00:00

This comment will be deleted (still not flaired) which is saddening bc what I’m about to say is important to those still on OLD.

Note how Simon’s profile says nothing? Blank bios are the biggest red flag. Worst case scenario… they leave everything blank bc they will make up a personality to mirror and dupe the person they will exploit. Best case, they are so low effort OR their ego so fragile, they can’t even put a measly word in their bio. I had the unfortunate experience I’m still getting over, where it was all 3.

NannuhBannan · 2022-02-22T21:55:48+00:00

Sadly very accurate. The major one missing might be the fish-holder whose only other photos are in groups and/or drinking Keystone Light.

saint-jezebel · 2022-02-22T21:45:39+00:00

The best part of this thread is you have to swipe left on everyone. Except Simon. By the time you get to Simon, you’re deleting the app.

iusetoomuchdrano · 2022-02-22T22:21:13+00:00

LOL oh this was perfect. Also, what’s with the men saying their age was incorrect on their profile?! What the heck?

JYQE · 2022-02-22T22:25:30+00:00

I'm Gen X, but this still applies. I've pretty much met all of them.

askmeabouttheforest · 2022-02-22T22:40:43+00:00

Oh, the lameness, it hurts!!

Noemie_Mathilde · 2022-02-23T01:08:30+00:00

I died at "hobby chef"

thewetdog_ · 2022-02-23T03:48:40+00:00

Now this is just fantastic.

The most authentic representation of the female experience I’ve seen in a long time. Wow.

atreegrowsinbrixton · 2022-02-22T21:47:06+00:00

why is this literally not even a joke. this is every single profile. i am so glad i made the decision to leave online dating, and i don't know if i will ever do it again, unless i find myself particularly bored one day. even then...

Psychological-Box881 · 2022-02-22T21:41:21+00:00

I lost it at the daddy profile 🤣 this is too accurate

Keepers12345 · 2022-02-23T03:30:59+00:00

Simon!!! I just choked on my saliva (have a mint in my mouth) laughing so hard when I saw Simon. Perfect arrangement!

Seen. Every. One. Of. Them.

Thanks for taking the time to entertain us with these OLD guys. Now we can play Bingo!

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-23T08:33:57+00:00

Theyre all the same. Add the other red flags

🚩I'm a good old country boy

🚩I suck at writing bios. I'm an open book. Ask me anything

🚩here for a good time not a long time

🚩 guess I'm back on here again

🚩 snapchat username

🚩not sure what I want

🚩dog dad, washed up ex college athlete, educated and self employed

🚩are you going go peg me or? Depression and anxiety are my hobbies

🚩 has pro con list (pro I can can cook for you, con you clean the dishes)

🚩adventures

🚩dom

Vaahla · 2022-02-22T21:26:50+00:00

It took me til slide 5 to realize it was all the exact same dude in the pictures lmao.

nevermindtoday6 · 2022-02-22T22:53:07+00:00

Love how this is just the same guy in different outfits/packaging.

MsWriteNow07 · 2022-02-23T01:05:11+00:00

If you actually swipe these, it becomes exponentially funnier.

Viciouspink99 · 2022-02-23T02:14:06+00:00

Looking for a partner in crime to go on adventures with, I like nights out and equally nights in. Pub lunches.

Guyincognito9876 · 2022-02-23T06:02:01+00:00

This is absolutely brilliant and spot-on. Except “the bully” should also have “looking for good banter” aka looking for someone to insult and then accuse them of not being able to take a joke.

kaitybubbly · 2022-02-22T21:41:40+00:00

Wow this sums up everyone I've ever seen on OLD back before I quit using it. This is hilarious!

OneTrueMel · 2022-02-22T21:49:02+00:00

I'm dead. These are way too accurate.

the Bore and the 'sportsing' one killed me.

like, I enjoy the outdoors too, but it's not my entire personality, and no, I don't want to go on an adventure hike for a first date. 🙄

Logical_Bee · 2022-02-22T21:46:29+00:00

Jesus I have been on a date with all of these guys. Except for the swindler. Gross.

pix-ie · 2022-02-22T23:09:50+00:00

“The Funcle” and “Simon” made me audibly laugh! Seriously, why do so many guys have their main photos a pic with a kid that’s not even their’s??? Is it to make women go, “ooh, he must be good with children.. so dreamy!” when in reality it’s just… weird?

justanothergirl4278 · 2022-02-23T00:24:18+00:00

Simon killed me! Lmaooo

GeorgiaPeach_94 · 2022-02-23T11:42:39+00:00

Let's not forget the spiritual yoga 'free spirit' hobosexual open to 'exploring' and 'deeply connecting on an energetic level' while going around cosplaying Jesus.

Practical_Appearance · 2022-02-22T21:04:32+00:00

Haha I now kinda want to re-activate my OLD profiles and use all of these as my profile pictures

These-Ad-5925 · 2022-02-22T22:21:29+00:00

The last one has me CRYINGGGG 🤣🤣🤣💀💀

TigreImpossibile · 2022-02-22T22:26:03+00:00

This is very accurate and giving me low-key rage/anxiety 😂😂🤪😭

fireforestfairy · 2022-02-23T04:16:39+00:00

You really are better off being single than dating any of these guys. There's just not a lot of HVMs on OLD because there's not a lot of HVMs in existence.

myheartisfulloflove · 2022-02-22T22:50:24+00:00

The last one was a jumpscare, omg!

throwawayaway388 · 2022-02-22T23:03:40+00:00

Holy fuck. The sheer accuracy.

PinDoll · 2022-02-23T00:11:48+00:00

OLD is just not worth it and it’s too exhausting. These memes are hilariously true. Don’t forget the “I’m not active on here so add me on Snapchat” those guys are an instablock.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-02-22T21:33:00+00:00

I'm surprised to see so many guys with bio-blurb. Most of the guys on my Tinder haven't written a single thing about themselves and typically only have one or two pictures.

ironglaciers · 2022-02-23T02:52:22+00:00

Christ, I feel like I have come across or dated ALL of these dudes.

_nilya · 2022-02-22T21:49:23+00:00

One of my current flatmates is word for word profile nr1. Also looks pretty much the same 🤡

pralinesundaes · 2022-02-23T00:34:09+00:00

OLD makes me want to give up and settle for a dildo after the mediocre dick, lol.

smart-tart23 · 2022-02-23T04:35:36+00:00

😂💕🥰👌🎤 this was spot on!!! Cheers 🥂 to hitting delete

snowwhite224 · 2022-02-22T22:59:33+00:00

Why does every man include “The Office” in their profile. It’s literally not even good lmao like why…. There are so many other shows they could mention but no they’ve gotta be basic bitches

TripleMoonMorrigan · 2022-02-23T04:38:03+00:00

"Muh eneemmmiess!!"

HappyBubble0 · 2022-02-22T22:13:54+00:00

The daddy and the poly one omg 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

smaller_ang · 2022-02-23T04:55:18+00:00

OH GOD 😩😭 STOP IT'S TOO REAL

sallyseethe · 2022-02-22T23:25:48+00:00

"In serious relationships with 7 other women" 🤣😂🤣

AcctUser12140 · 2022-02-22T21:56:28+00:00

This is hilarious!

ViolettaJones · 2022-02-23T01:35:47+00:00

LOVE this! This is LITERALLY what dating on the apps is like! They're all the same just different versions of each other XD

artemis-code · 2022-02-23T03:51:37+00:00

This is so freaking accurate! 😂 Happy to have said goodbye to OLD many years ago.

sandopsio · 2022-02-23T04:25:30+00:00

I haven’t done OLD in years but these are all so accurate, “ethically non-monogamous” and the man-child (who I usually ended up with, except once I accidentally answered the LinkedIn bro) are too perfect. And the Animal Crossing personalities comment, omg haha.

I don’t get Simon though, am I missing something?

graceinspades · 2022-02-23T05:02:20+00:00

My dating life hasn't been too spectacular but I've actually never felt the need to download them after everything I've seen in circles like this. All a game to people just trying to get in your pants. For what - no thanks.

Specific-Composer300 · 2022-02-23T13:35:03+00:00

I don't know why Simon made me laugh so hard 😂

dragon_wolf4 · 2022-02-23T13:37:57+00:00

OMG I died laughing! This is gold lmao! So true!

Nerdgirlfail · 2022-02-22T22:22:10+00:00

No way is “the daddy” real. Is he? Do people do that?

Certain-Year-5367 · 2022-02-22T21:10:30+00:00

This is accurate 😂😂

otter_bott · 2022-02-22T22:31:12+00:00

The last slide. I am screaming. 😂😂😂

Sad_Ring4374 · 2022-02-22T23:45:14+00:00

I’m in a waiting room with many people around and I can’t stop laughing out loud! 😂

AstridRavenGrae · 2022-02-23T01:53:22+00:00

I cackled so loud at this that I had to then share to five different people at work who kept asking wtf was so funny.

Fucking brilliant 👌🏻

Nefertitty5 · 2022-02-22T21:12:40+00:00

Simon got me

Mission-Ad1308 · 2022-02-22T23:36:04+00:00

Omg Simon 😂😂

m00n5t0n3 · 2022-02-23T00:13:35+00:00

Bahahahaha

summerpeach69 · 2022-02-22T21:32:26+00:00

This is Hilarious !!!

ddamaya · 2022-02-23T07:29:25+00:00

Simon look like the best option out of all these 🤣🥴

Specific-Composer300 · 2022-02-23T13:33:34+00:00

These are so good and accurate 😂

butterflyfrenchfry · 2022-02-23T02:39:16+00:00

Lmaooo

SBerryTrifle · 2022-02-22T21:22:50+00:00

Bleak, man. It’s bleak.

bellax247 · 2022-02-23T02:58:16+00:00

“420 friendly” 😭😭😭

karabnp · 2022-02-23T11:27:18+00:00

The ACCURACY though.😭

I’ve seen EVERY ONE of these “types” before forsaking all of the app shit well over a year ago.

SO predictable.😴

k_sugarplum · 2022-02-23T12:04:35+00:00

These are so spot on! I laughed out loud at the last one - wasn't expecting it!

notallowed2havepizza · 2022-02-23T13:12:24+00:00

Funcle aka manbaby looks at the baby and says “Finally someone gets me”.

Gologic34 · 2022-02-24T00:21:06+00:00

Done a while ago. Hopefully it goes viral and amounts to a casual sex strike, causing LVM men to change and put in effort. Fingers (and legs) crossed lol.

huevos_and_whiskey · 2022-03-06T22:30:05+00:00

“Drama free” = causes tons of drama, no accountability, it’s always someone else’s fault.

dawg_with_a_blog · 2022-03-12T02:27:22+00:00

I wasn’t ready for the last one 💀

Thebuttking · 2022-02-23T03:27:58+00:00

This is essentially the female version of Incels

Please for the love of God ban me so I don't have to ever see this sub again

2022-02-23T06:19:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂
Author	killerjewels
Upvotes	2341
Comments	211
Date	February 22, 2022 8:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/syy2sd/heres_to_deleting_our_old_profiles/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/heres-to-deleting-our-old-profiles.1103462 https://theredarchive.com/post/1103462

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