Is a One Night Stand the truest form of a woman showing Burning Sexual Desire?

mineurownbiz · 2024-02-25T14:37:00+00:00

I've had a few ONSs and a few LTRs. The ONSs always felt like she wanted to have a fun night and go home with someone, and I was in the right place at the right time. Sure, maybe I caught her eye by dressing/grooming myself well or being fun to be around in the right moment, but I never got the impression it was someone who doesn't normally do this and they made an exception for me because I was soooooo irresistible.

I have felt way more "burning sexual desire" from women where we've been on a few dates and I've been very charming (and been charmed in return). The build-up to it means she is excited about me specifically, and that is reflected in burning sexual desire for me specifically. And that doesn't go away over time.*

*Yeah, I'm know this isn't true 100% of the time, but nothing is true 100% of the time. I've had a LTR where the sex was passionate until the end, and I've had one where it died a little while before the end. In the latter, I'd argue it was because we were drifting apart in other ways and the sex followed.

NothingOrAllLife · 2024-02-25T14:21:23+00:00

The one true one nights stand I had was because I was bored, hadn’t talked to another human in months (covid lockdown), and horny. The guy was really just right place, right time and I figured he was nice and funny so why not. Did not have a “burning desire” for him.

Burning desire comes with time and connection. And even then it can die down if the feeling of intimacy and appreciation are not returned.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-02-25T16:00:33+00:00

Some Reasons I was given for casual Hookups/ONS

“I wanted prove to my friends I could be as wild as the”

“I wanted to feel special, even if it was just for one night”

“I broke up with my ex and I’m going as fuuuk!”

“I heard you were good and you won’t tell anybody”

Was less about me and more about being in the right place at the right time. With the right rep.

Azweik · 2024-02-25T13:47:46+00:00

I don't think so, I think its the same for women, that sometimes they just want the validation (after a breakup as example), and I think then good enough will do.

I also once had a work colleague, that literally slept with guys from nightclubs to stay at their place, so she hadn't to bother getting back to the small village she lived in (also expensive ride)

I guess you can add tons of items to the list

MyLastBestChance · 2024-02-25T13:36:22+00:00

ONS are FAR more likely to be the result of the woman being drunk, angry, sad, lonely, insecure, bored, or in a self destructive spiral than “burning sexual desire”🤦‍♀️.

Lysa_Bell · 2024-02-25T15:49:23+00:00

My ONS were all the same - I was drunk and horny and someone was there and willing. It had nothing to do with burning desire for a chad dude. It was that I was horny and wanted dick or pussy. The person attached didn't really matter. It was about how I felt not about how I felt about the person. Almost no one inspires spontaneous passionate desire. I can think a person is attractive but that won't just magical make me horny. It's about how I feel about myself.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-02-25T16:53:19+00:00

My ONS were more "I'm horny, you'll do", rather than a some burning desire towards that dude in particular.

ArmariumEspada · 2024-02-25T16:03:36+00:00

Why do you assume that a woman only want to “fuck Chad” to keep him around for a relationship? Have you considered that it may be because she is genuinely aroused by him and wants carnal pleasure?

edgyny · 2024-02-25T13:58:39+00:00

Possibly you are mixing two narratives.

There's the idea of the intense romantic connection that happens quickly and leads to sex quickly. Many idolize this narrative. It's essentially romance on warp drive.

Alternatively, there's horny (drunk) people masturbating on each other. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it doesn't really seem like anything to crow about. Sometimes a relationship develops from these.

Having and following protocols or guidelines such as "waiting until date three" doesn't really mean much necessarily. Obviously, drugged people are more uninhibited and break protocol more easily. I wouldn't say a drugged person is "more genuine" though. They're just drugged.

AngeCruelle · 2024-02-25T15:29:16+00:00

I've known women with lower physicsl standards for ONS/hookups than their actual boyfriends. Remember that we're in the social media age. A random hookup won't be posted for all of your followers to see. Your SO will.

Safinated · 2024-02-25T15:56:12+00:00

Nope. It can also show desperation, intoxication, self destruction, retribution — any of the non sexual motivations for having sex

ezbyte · 2024-02-25T14:49:53+00:00

The only ONS I had was because I was drunk and upset that my new bf didn’t want to announce or relationship publicly on FB before leaving for college, and said he would never get comfortable with eating pussy (we were kids and the argument was childish on both sides). I didn’t even like the guy I had a ONS with and ghosted him. He was no Chad in my eyes, just in the right place at the right time to satisfy my own selfish desires.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-02-25T13:26:09+00:00

for me it was the true form of being drunk and not feeling like driving home about 65% of the time. I have never in my life felt a "burning desire" for a man until AFTER sex and he blew my mind

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-02-25T13:41:28+00:00

No. It's merely on the same level as "duty sex."

thelajestic · 2024-02-25T14:03:20+00:00

Not in my experience. I've had ONS with people I wasn't particularly attracted to, because I was horny and they were the most convenient person. And I've had burning sexual desire for people I haven't attempted to have sex with for various reasons (because the timing was inappropriate, or one or both of us was in a relationship or whatever).

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-02-25T14:59:05+00:00

Or it could mean she used to be young and dumb, drink/party a lot, etc.

Women aren't stupid enough to think that immediate sex keeps a man. No clue where that came from.

Defundisraelnow · 2024-02-25T15:33:12+00:00

No. We do those when we are drunk, heartbroken or lonely after a breakup. The man doesn't even have to he attractive. It's definitely not a proud moment in any woman's life.

GridReXX · 2024-02-25T16:10:26+00:00

It’s the truest sign of me being drunk and turned on by the bumping bass and tequila in my system. The dervish environment led to that more than them lol.

The ONS I had was absolutely not the hottest person I’ve been with and also not the person I’m most turned on by when I’m not horny cuz of alc, music, and not having had physical intimacy in a longgggg time. They were convenient. The moment was convenient.

The truest form of my sexual desire is me being horny for you in a quiet non-inebriated environment. Or me longing for you so bad I travel to you for the physical intimacy of you lol.

kalashhhhhhhh · 2024-02-25T14:52:16+00:00

I had one casual sex arrangement. It was with a person I had known for years. I had 0 Sexual Desire (Burning or any other kind) for him. It was a textbook situation, I had just broken up with my first boyfriend of 4.5 years, my current boyfriend had a girlfriend at the time, I was sad and insecure and very drunk. I needed that validation, and I got horny while we were making out, sue me.

My view of that guy absolutely didn't change at all after that. It's literally not even close to the sexual desire that I'm feeling for my boyfriend.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-02-25T14:39:54+00:00

Making a man wait until date 3 for sex is something that would not happen to a chad, as the woman would be aiming to sleep with him as soon as possible to ensure she can keep him around and possible get a relationship.

Women know that if they’re looking for a relationship it’s far better to wait to have sex. A lot of men will think a woman putting out on the first date is “easy” and not “wife material”.

Linvaderdespace · 2024-02-25T15:42:17+00:00

Tell me that you’ve never pulled a strange woman before without telling me that you’ve never pulled a strange woman before; it is most certainly not a matter of being so irresistibly virile that she cannot help herself, it’s about juicing the context of your time together into a situation where sleeping with you sounds like a good enough idea at the time.

being sexy helps, but so does being acceptably groomed and dressed. being really fun to party with really helps, and so does getting her to enjoy herself and encouraging her to feel sexy about herself without being a creep.

PerfumedPornoVampire · 2024-02-25T13:57:30+00:00

As someone who has had a ONS, no, not even close! If a woman has true “burning sexual desire” for a man she is going to try and corner him into a committed relationship. Would I have accepted a ONS from a man I wanted sexually because it was all I could get? Sure, but it’s not all I want.

Also, the one time I did do it was because the opportunity presented itself and it seemed like fun. I was attracted to the guy but did not have some sort of insane “desire” for him. Most other women do it for fun as well, it’s just that our standards for our partner are higher than men. That’s all.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-02-25T14:28:02+00:00

For me personally it's more "you didn't make it to boyfriend material". Being "boyfriend material" a higher status than ONS.

lvlupkitten · 2024-02-25T14:15:59+00:00

No, all the ONS I’ve had have been because I was extremely drunk. I’ve hooked up with some aggressively mediocre men while inebriated. Beer goggles is a real thing. Most of the time I woke up thinking ‘wtf did I do’

RubyDiscus · 2024-02-25T13:37:40+00:00

Not really.

1NS usually suck really bad and are probably drunk or it's just kinda awkward. I don't think it really pays off.

It's a lot better when you know them a little bit more. Since 1NS it's usually a very shallow thing and you don't really know them. Just based on looks and opportunity, not so much a burning desire.

BackToTheMoon_ · 2024-02-25T15:41:01+00:00

No

True desire is a woman moving heaven and earth for a man who may or may not put in effort

Reasonable-Software2 · 2024-02-25T15:50:34+00:00

It really depends on the situation.

For instance, a married women cheats on her husband after a 10 year marriage when she meets an old friend at a social event. That would be closer to what I would consider "burning sexual desire."

Heinz37_sauce · 2024-02-25T16:10:42+00:00

No. If Chad made them cum it would be more than just one night.

JadeGrapes · 2024-02-25T17:38:05+00:00

Nah, women will have sex for all kinda of reasons...

Including revenge, or validation, or wanting a nice date night out because it's been a while, or wanting a cuddle buddy, or feeling competitive because a friend is getting some, or you are just curious to see if a guy has long term potential (but he doesn't)

One night stands might be the worst indicator of female spontaneous desire.

If I had to guess, dating the same guy for 6+ months... even if he is not a suitable marriage prospect is a better hint she likes his nice-nice.

Like if he is dumb but handsome, or lazy except in bed, etc.

Bordbir · 2024-02-25T19:27:58+00:00

Burning sexual desire is more of an involuntary reaction than an actual action. It’s not always acted on and there’s usually a good reason for that.

neinhaltchad · 2024-02-26T20:36:40+00:00

The most ONS / same-night-lay scenarios I ever had was during Covid.

It would often start with us matching, talking then send each other recent negative covid test results to each other.

I have to say, none of the ONS from that time felt like “burning desire” so much as “I need to remember what sex feels like”

Women ITT have alluded to this, and it was definitely my experience.

Otherwise, for me, they have been all over the place in terms of reasons / enthusiasm from the girl.

Some were clearly just semi enthusiastically “scratching an itch” and others went absolutely cock crazy on me.

In lap cases, invariably, alcohol was involved.

IncitefulSpiceRack · 2024-02-25T15:21:45+00:00

Another post treating women like an instruction manual. 🙄

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-02-25T14:31:36+00:00

As a woman, me and other women had ons with undesirable men just to raise our on confidence levels, or as a way to kind of "hurt ourselves", to forget about something else... might be a whole lot of other reasons.

Did this despite being a lesbian. I felt like I needed to punish myself for something.

DarayRaven · 2024-02-25T14:36:23+00:00

Got the concept wrong

If she's a slut for everyone, that's not burning sexual desire but instead college culture

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-02-25T14:38:25+00:00

Since women’s willingness have sex increases steadily as they become more intoxicated, it might just be drunk decisions.

DumbWordsmith · 2024-02-25T17:16:09+00:00

Obviously, yes. There's a reason why basically any man can get a LTR but not every man can have a ONS.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-02-25T17:37:00+00:00

Yes

Women are extremely sexual for top men. They lust after them and look forward to being dickmatized

This is why the ONS, casual, febs, situationship market exists. This primal lust to the top men (aka tingles) has been shaped by sexual selection and evolutionary biology.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-02-25T15:53:19+00:00

I don't know if it indicates desire or not, I just know that if a woman basically offered herself to multiple guys in the past and now demands effort and commitment from new guy - he should bail out asap.

CaptainLee9137 · 2024-02-25T15:44:49+00:00

It could be. Hypothetically speaking, if her libido only spikes 2-3 times per year and she’s not in a committed relationship, then it’s about being in the right place at the right time. It helps if you’re Chad because she’s not just going to give it away to a meh individual.

If she’s only making a potential partner wait until date 3, that still sounds kind of quick. So we shouldn’t complain, there’s still hope!

DietTyrone · 2024-02-25T20:34:14+00:00

The more a woman is sexually attracted to you, the less hoops you have to jump through. Even for ONS, most don't just go home with any rando. Maybe she was drunk or whatever, but there was attraction between her and the guy. Whether or not she truly enjoyed the sex doesn't negate the fact. If a woman is dating a guy and can keep her hands off him for months, yet couldn't for guys prior, then the initial sexual attraction wasn't at that level.

There was a post earlier about different rules applying to different types of men, and many women unapologetically admitted this. The guy who is average to her has to earn her attraction.

WowYouMustBeJoking · 2024-02-26T15:15:57+00:00

The delusion in this thread.

"ONS are throw away men, we don't care about future with them". Duh, that's the point of OP. If there's no strong desire to have sex, you won't risk the future.
"I was just horny, he would do/he was in the right place at the right time". Again, considering that only a small group of men is in that place and time ... You know that many men go out hoping to be in the right place and right time or to even create the right time, but somehow only a few get it. If that's not the evidence that those few are exceptional, then what is?

kalecikkarasi · 2024-02-25T15:55:43+00:00

I guess no woman in this sub wants to be held accountable for ons, they are all saying that they were heavily drunk at that time. Hmm, It’s interesting, next step would be rape accusations. Lovely Western society really.

But the point is taken. ONS doesn't always require higher sexual desire.

sixsevenrice · 2024-02-25T15:47:15+00:00

Rebexl5150 · 2024-02-25T15:44:40+00:00

Yes %100 it is. Women don't sleep with men ESPECIALLY on the first night with men they don't truly desire.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-25T15:06:07+00:00

Yes. Next question.

MassiveAd1026 · 2024-02-25T15:33:45+00:00

When a woman is genuinely attracted to you, you don't have to jump through any hoops, or simp like a fool. She's DTF.

If a woman you're interested in doesn't want to meet you for a drink, or for a coffee. She doesn't like you. Don't ever be a foodie call for any chick.

GhettoJamesBond · 2024-02-25T14:10:02+00:00

For the most part yes. Unless you got lucky and caught her when she was really lonely and horny.

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Smergmerg432 · 2024-02-25T17:03:15+00:00

Oh absolutely the opposite. One night stand is just a throwaway to add to numbers and boost ego. Burning sexual desire comes from the intensity with which one performs. That can only come, in my experience, from knowing the person a bit better. Even on a mechanical level, it’s easier to be in the moment and desirous if there’s less guessing as to what will feel best for the other person.

Over_Noise3530 · 2024-02-25T17:38:36+00:00

No. It could be a rebound

Muscletov · 2024-02-25T17:38:37+00:00

I dunno man, every woman here says it basically doesn't matter how he looks/acts but the guy simply needs to be there at the "right place and time".

And yet the guys who actually do have lots of casual sex tick common attractiveness boxes.

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-25T17:50:40+00:00

You do understand that women never go out wanting to have a ONS? Women go out wanting to get laid AND hoping the man will be exciting enough in bed that they can go for multiple repeats. A ONS means either or neither party found the experience enticing enough to go for seconds.

apresonly · 2024-02-25T17:56:17+00:00

no i've had one night stands bc i was too afraid to say no

iagree_1994 · 2024-02-25T18:45:04+00:00

I would say the truest form of a woman's desire is a consistent fwb relationship. Can't use that BS I was drunk logic when you have been having sex with a guy no strings attached for months. After that would be a one night stand. Coming in last place would be a long term relationship.

Bikerbats · 2024-02-25T19:07:38+00:00

Nah dude, one night stands usually just mean you were partying and having a good time. Nothing more.

RedditIsCensorship2 · 2024-02-25T20:16:11+00:00

Making someone wait definitely isn't the truest form of burning sexual desire. That's for sure.

BoogersAndSugar · 2024-02-25T20:19:38+00:00

Let's put it this way: Anything less than "Chad attraction" isn't marriage material :). If she doesn't find you hot enough for a casual relationship, she can't be trusted for something serious. Gotta screen out the settlers!

GreenTurtle47 · 2024-02-25T21:11:18+00:00

Most of my hook-ups or ONS were with women who would seemingly date me. I figure that’s pretty much what usually happens for other guys too, and women who are putting themselves in positions like that seem to be fine with nothing more happening, for whatever reason. Maybe some of them are holding out on fucking the right guy one night that wants to actually date them but I don’t know if that’s very common.

So essentially, I still look at it more like you’re just a guy that would normally be in their dating pool anyway, the circumstances just equate to a hook up.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-02-26T02:45:05+00:00

Burning desire doesn’t arrive until I’m in a committed relationship. Full stop.

sublimemongrel · 2024-02-26T02:59:03+00:00

lol no not for me. I’ve never had a ONS yuck

forking_guy · 2024-02-26T10:51:35+00:00

In most cases, yes.

gopher_glitz · 2024-02-26T14:24:34+00:00

I've never seen a ONS that didn't revolve around being drunk or about drugs.

victinibro · 2024-02-26T15:28:21+00:00

Women will put guys in three categories: "hell nah", "maybe" and "hell yeah".

"Hell yeah": She finds the guy very physically attractive, her "type" basically. As long as he isn't very shy and socially awkward, he's in. He has to really try in order to fuck it up. This is the burning desire category.

"Maybe": In her mind she finds the guy above average(like a 6-7 let's say), but far from impressive. It's in this category that the guy has to prove his value in order to be considered. Status/fame, money, charisma, emotional investment etc. are all ways to prove his value.

"Hell nah": She doesn't consider the guy sexually at all. She might lead him along for a bit to leech off him, whether it's social opportunities or financial benefits, before discarding him. She might play along for a bit, but make no mistake, she doesn't ever intend to give him her punani.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-02-26T18:25:37+00:00

The most pure form would be a measurement of brain wave activity or something. Since your question is about her showing desire, if she truthfully honestly charted her time spent fantasizing about person X and shared that with people.

The question is leading to whether ONS or LTR desire is more real. I’d say if she’s masturbating to you repeatedly it’s more real than either.

Icy_Lie_9001 · 2024-02-27T02:26:15+00:00

Well as women we are taught men don’t like whores so the guy we really like we’ll probably wait a he doesn’t think we’re a slut or at least that’s my case

Comprehensive-Bed35 · 2024-02-28T01:37:18+00:00

No.
A woman who constantly wants to have sex, enthusiastically speaking, with a man over and over and over. A woman who reports to her girlfriends how much she loves having sex with that man. A woman who gets mad at her man for not having sex with her more often.

These are examples of genuine, burning desire. The one night stand is just a woman expressing that she’s unintelligent, and incapable of thinking things through, due to not being able to control her shallow desires.

Siliconmage76 · 2024-02-28T02:43:05+00:00

Lol no. It's usually after the result of plenty of alcohol consumption in my experience which is pretty extensive. Burning desire?? Lmao more like "I'm horny and drunk and can't safely drive home. He'll do for tonight."

Assholines · 2024-02-28T09:57:21+00:00

Generally speaking it’s better to be the ONS, hookup, fuck buddy guy than long term partner

Title	Is a One Night Stand the truest form of a woman showing Burning Sexual Desire?
Author	Goodgoy6969
Upvotes	66
Comments	353
Date	February 25, 2024 1:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1aznild/is_a_one_night_stand_the_truest_form_of_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-a-one-night-stand-the-truest-form-of-a-woman.1246394 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246394

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