Do most men on dating apps just try to match with virtually every woman?

Affectionate_Cat1512 · 2024-10-26T12:34:04+00:00

After some time, I decided to adapt the "careful" strategy. I'd swipe right only if: - she had bio - it was interesting and informative - her pictures were attractive to me (no, I don't mean 10/10 IG model)

3 months of not even 1 match. I deleted apps and decided to fuck the dating game

BCRE8TVE · 2024-10-26T23:30:20+00:00

I downloaded 5 dating apps. I had a 20 swipe limit per day, so swiped right 100 times a day, for 30 days straight, only on women I would be interested in so about 1 in 3 profiles.

After one month of 100 swiped a day, I had 3,000 swipes right, out of say 9,000 profiles I saw.

Out of those 3, 000 swipes I got 4 matches, one was a bot, one ghosted me, one talked with me for a week before ghosting me, and one led to a date where we didn't click. She was also a foot shorter than me but almost twice as wide.

Men and women are both playing the dating game but the rules are so completely different for men vs women, that they may as well be playing a completely different game altogether, and most women have absolutely no clue how much harder it is as a man.

You don't have to believe me, these women tried it.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VXl1Z9FAIq4

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iNONlWyD_kU

If it's a numbers game for men and you're going to get one match in a thousand swipes, whether you are careful and purposeful or not, then what's the point in wasting any energy on the 999 swipes that will statistically go nowhere?

You might see men swiping right on every woman, but those men are likely outnumbered by the women swiping left on 95% of men.

Dating app data backs this up, men on average swipe right 50% of the time and get a match 5% of the time, for a 1 in 10 success rate.

Women swipe right 5% of the time and get a match 3% of the time, for a 6 in 10 success rate.

Kinda funny how when stuff happens to women then men have to believe women and trust their lived experiences, but when stuff happens to men most women refuse to believe men's lived experiences. It's an odd double standard.

HereToShowOff123 · 2024-10-27T05:39:38+00:00

Why is this never brought up when certain men complain that women get so many matches on dating apps. We know men far outnumber women on the apps but many men also seem to just swipe right on every woman, even ones they really don’t want.

Do you understand how the sexual market works? Women are the sexual selector gender, not men. The average man does not have infinite partner options like the average woman does.

When you aren't Chad, your best chance at finding a female sexual or romantic partner is the shotgun method.

fredwester · 2024-10-26T11:40:26+00:00

That wasn't how I did it, at least.

Remember that on Tinder, for example, men only get 50 right swipes per day (25 every 12 hours). So you have to use them judiciously.

I'd right swipe on perhaps about 20% of women. Only those I found attractive. I'd swipe purely based on looks, and wouldn't even bother reading the profile.

If there was a match, then I'd read their profile. If everything was gravy then I'd message. If I saw something I didn't like, I'd unmatch. In the rare case that someone was in between those categories, I'd let fate decide if they want to message me.

I don't think swiping right on every single woman is a viable tactic on apps where men's swipes are limited, because the algorithm always shows you 20 Instagram influencers/OF models (i.e. the most swiped on profiles) before it starts sifting in the real women.

So if you're using 20 of your 25 swipes on women who have no intention of using the app to actually date, that leaves you 10 chances per day to match with someone who actually may be interested. Not good odds.

izzzy12k · 2024-10-26T14:59:08+00:00

When I first started using the apps, 8-9 years ago, I was very selective...

By selective, I mean reading profiles and swiping left on women who just didn't fit what I wanted. In regards to physical looks, I was more selective as well.. but that thin body type has never been that attractive to me, and would look for more curvy women.

Matches were zero.

I later heard of the "shotgun" approach, which is swiping right more openly and not reading profiles as you described. But I was still a tiny bit selective.

Matches started happening, women would pretty much fall into one of three categories.

They were not really single.
They would ghost me as soon as they found out I had kids at home.
They would ghost me after the first date

I started being more selective again, with just more looser criteria that I had in the beginning.

Now I generally get 1 to 2 matches a year.. but things don't really work out as women really don't like that I'm an involved father with the 2 kids who live with their Mom. (I ended up with split custody with our 4 kids, 2 elder kids with me and the two younger ones with their Mom)

This, or they even try to separate me from all my kids, and try to have me just focus on them and their kids only.

This has been my luck, which really sucks.. but that's been my experience.

612King · 2024-10-26T18:22:17+00:00

I tried an experiment on Facebook dating that was really successful at getting matches. I tried not posting any posing pics. All pics of me doing something, even if you can’t see my face or was even super old… skydiving pic was 15 years ago, me jumping off a boat 3 years ago, riding a motorcycle 10 years ago, driving a an exotic car, at the gun range with my back facing the camera, one surfing from 7 years ago, and then one on the ski slopes. I was getting like 10 matches a day. I’d get like 5 new numbers a week. But even then, some chicks won’t text back. Maybe I’m just super boring….. but ghosting after matching still happens like 90% of the time 😂😂😂

DumbWordsmith · 2024-10-26T12:07:37+00:00

I have seen men on dating apps irl and it seems many don’t even really look at the women for more than half a second and definitely don’t look at her profile.

When I was younger, I remember seeing women around me do the same thing. Except for them, it was just left swipe after left swipe.

Chicks are also obsessed with height and career prospects, so they might dig a little deeper into a handful of men's profiles before swiping right.

For a lot of dudes, the chances of matching with women who are actually attractive is slim to none. They might as well figure out what to do once they know if there's any initial attraction from the other side.

Jazzlike_Function788 · 2024-10-26T11:17:19+00:00

They're trying to match with any woman not every woman, no matter what they do the vast majority of the women aren't going to match and of the ones that match most aren't actually going to exchange messages with them.

If they want to use the app at all the only way to do it is to swipe on everyone. If anything the optimal strategy is to ignore women that are too attractive since they're either bots or just not going to match anyway.

Sholnufff · 2024-10-26T17:09:10+00:00

There are a few things I look at:

If they are into the polyamory lifestyle, immediate swipe left.
If they are in their soft girl era, immediate swipe left.
The I date with a purpose girl after age 29, you definitely getting swipe left.
The I'm needing an Alpha man to ALLOW me to be in my feminine energy...nah you full of 💩 and getting swiped left.
If you type in all caps trying to dictate to men no hookups, celibate only...you definitely been on the cock-a-saurus ride a few too many times and are now trying to have standards. Swipe left.
Last and certainly important...I'm a few months pregnant.. GO BACK 2 THE BABY'S FATHER and get off the apps.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-10-26T11:12:30+00:00

What are men supposed to do? Reduce their 1/100 matching rate to 1/10000?

IdiAminD · 2024-10-26T11:24:30+00:00

Apps do not encourage any deep thought since it's purely visual. I was using old school dating portal and I was messaging only girls I could relate to somehow, like regarding music, job, views, hobbies etc. If apps would be more focused on description and less on photos then guys could've been more selective.

0kayz00mer · 2024-10-26T11:32:53+00:00

There’s no point in investing a lot of time in the swipe phase when you only match with 0.6% of your swipes. At that point you want to just find the 0.6% as fast as you can and then filter them.

If women gave more attention to men in general, men would be more picky in general.

Subie- · 2024-10-26T14:42:39+00:00

No.

I tried this approach and the matches were:

Fat single moms.
Fat women.
Liberal fat women.
Trans.

You get a good idea real quick your online level of attractiveness and mine isn’t that. So instead of mass swiping I rather swipe on all women I find attractive and hope to get lucky than bitter and disappointed when I do get a match.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-10-26T15:17:17+00:00

I don't, but I absolutely understand why some guys do. There's less than a 1% chance per swipe of getting a match, and that's coming from a guy who's conventionally attractive.

Like, we're talking 0.05% chance of a match per swipe.

Say it takes you 10 seconds to go over a bio and make a decision.

That puts you at 6 hours of reading per match.

Or you could buy a week of premium for unlimited swipes, spam it for 10 minutes, and just unmatch if someone isn't your type.

Again - I do not do this, but I absolutely understand why a lot of guys do. A friend of mine went two and a half years before he got his first match, which was a bot that tried to scam him.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-10-26T17:58:33+00:00

Because that's only strategy that works for them.

I've am picky (swipe only if I like how bio is written) and have one non-enthusiastic match per month on average.

Can't bring myself to be desperate enough to swipe on everyone though.

mobjack · 2024-10-26T12:55:12+00:00

A lot of women are attractive in their first photo and I swipe on that. When I look at the rest of their photos after matching, I notice they are very overweight and lose interest.

I adjust my swiping strategy depending on how many matches I am getting. If I have a lot, I will be more selective to not be overwhelmed.

Victordobado · 2024-10-26T14:02:20+00:00

Most men try to match with any woman who isn’t obese or very ugly. An average guy would commit to an average looking woman with a healthy bmi in a heartbeat, if she shares his values and is friendly. An average looking woman is a 4-5 in this rating guide IMO.

platinirisms · 2024-10-27T11:21:59+00:00

You start using the app, and the first time you use it, you use it seriously, you look at all her pictures, read the bios, and based on that figure out if she seems like a good fit, is so, swipe right, if not, swipe left.

You do this for the first couple of days, but you quickly realise nothing is happening, you’re getting no matches, you’re not even getting likes, and using this app is taking up a bit of time, so you start swiping faster, you just look at her pictures and decide based on that if she’s a good match, does she have good pictures, nice hobbies?

A week’s gone by, no matches, you’re getting a bit fed up of the app now, seems like nobody else is even seeing your profile (or if they are, you’re being rejected on a massive scale). So why take the app seriously anymore? You now swipe left or right on literally nothing but their first picture. Swipe swipe swipe swipe swipe.

Some men go even further, don’t even bother looking and just swipe right on everybody then will unmatch or ignore the women they don’t like.

MannerNo7000 · 2024-10-26T11:15:16+00:00

Men only do this because otherwise they’d get no matches. It’s so simple.

odd_cloud · 2024-10-26T13:31:57+00:00

In short, men are different from women and find themselves in different circumstances, so their behavior is different.

Men like many women, women like few men. A man simply swiping right on the women he likes may seem to you as indiscriminate swiping on everyone.

When you swipe on someone or approach them, you both choose and are chosen. I’d say men are more concerned with the being chosen side of that equation simply because women are picky. If you’re being chosen, it makes sense to advertise yourself to the largest number of people.

BTW, I suppose that a dating app where women swipe, and men just get notified of it won’t work much worse than current dating apps.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-10-26T17:35:06+00:00

virtually every woman of normal body weight...so like 5%.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-10-26T20:03:45+00:00

Yes, men do this.

Yes, it makes the situation collectively worse.

No, it's not in a man's game-theory best interest to individually buck the trend.

Men wouldn't do this if women weren't so picky. See gay dating apps.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-10-27T09:30:38+00:00

Yes. You might be as picky as you want, but your profile won't be different from those who try to match with everything. That's why those servies are just a waste of time.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-10-26T12:57:09+00:00

Here is the thing, after over 10 years of swipe apps most dudes understand how to use them. Most have read/heard/seen the explanation of the casino algorithm, most understand the need for decent pics, good lines when matching and the subtle differences in the apps target demo, and use them accordingly. Hell a lot of guys actually use other forms of social media (group forums/chats/discord servers, etc) to meet new people and use OLD as “just another entertaining way” to try to meet girls.

But: Desperate dudes swipe on everything. There are a lot of desperate dudes.

Acceptable-Truck3803 · 2024-10-26T11:12:39+00:00

Typically a man’s world and online dating is a, “hey, is she cute? Hey, does she meet minimum requirements?” Yes, swipe. It’s on her to filter out who she’s interested or not, Red flags or not, absolutes or not. Why as “the hunter” would you make your life harder than it needs to be? Overtime because of being approached so many times indirectly if you’re a somewhat attractive woman, little by little your requirements, go higher and higher up the ladder to date a “high potential high value man.”

This very old but still applies today:

https://youtu.be/FB1oMfs8nWY?si=Y4Bya8NxvlHmGh5V

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Altruistic_Ad_0 · 2024-10-26T18:55:29+00:00

It is a supply and demand thing. There are more men on dating apps. So more men lower their standards, while women raise their standards. I had the opposite happen to me in college as a man.

Certain-Ganache-6213 · 2024-10-26T20:16:14+00:00

Yea. Women have all the options to choose, and we have to go overboard.

MaleficentFig7578 · 2024-10-26T21:21:41+00:00

Men on dating apps swipe about half of women. If a man only swipes on the women he really really wants, he gets no matches. He will lower his standards until he gets matches.

wtknight · 2024-10-26T22:54:30+00:00

It’s what I would do if I used dating apps due to women’s pickiness. One never knows what an individual woman will find attractive. So men try to match with all of them in order to account for this. If men were more selective, then statistically the hypothetical “woman of their dreams” is much more likely to not even be attracted to them at all.

If women want to complain about men’s lack of selectivity, then they need to be more open to dating (and no, not having sex with immediately) the man who tells her that she is his “dream woman”.

left_shoulder_demon · 2024-10-29T14:20:06+00:00

I read each profile.

5% are "no", like antivaxxers, born-again Christians, fake location, or posing with a sports car.
1% are "yes", because they have an interesting hobby, or indicate that they have a similar outlook on life -- the last "yes" from me was for the sentence "looking for someone who will help me renovate a house in the countryside."
the rest is "can't decide." I'll swipe right but not think about them unless I get a match.

So far, I've met a few people for coffee and we pretty much mutually decided there was no spark, and that that was fine.

OldThrwy · 2024-10-26T12:32:22+00:00

No way. Conservative, Christian, or kids is an immediate left swipe. Then I’ll check if she’s cute. Then I’ll check profile for interests. 90% of my swipes are left, I never max out my right swipes per day.

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-10-26T11:28:20+00:00

I only swipe about 10% of women tbh

emax4 · 2024-10-27T04:10:36+00:00

Women want confidence. I'm confident that I want some women to put in effort into their profile. No photo from breast level up and I'm looking at a double chin with one living room lamp on. I need to see a good effort and a good photo. If you have time to make a profile then you should have time to put effort into putting yourself out there.

I took think it's time to just delete the app.

harmonica2 · 2024-10-26T12:49:16+00:00

Are there still any dating sites left where men can send messages directly and try to make a good impression there rather than having to just wait for matches before sending anything?

OilJust4498 · 2024-10-26T16:03:19+00:00

that it what I do, one must cast a wide net if you want to catch something

AdEffective7894s · 2024-10-26T16:49:47+00:00

*any woman

one_ball_policy · 2024-10-26T16:58:51+00:00

I swipe left way more than I swipe right.

one_ball_policy · 2024-10-26T16:58:51+00:00

I swipe left way more than I swipe right.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-10-26T17:00:57+00:00

Well the right swipe depend of the level of desperation. But I am not an expert I prefer meeting people IRL

EugeneCezanne · 2024-10-26T17:09:03+00:00

Yeah, the average right-swipe rate for men on dating apps is often estimated at around 40-50%.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-10-26T17:24:02+00:00

Most do yes they just mass say yes to everyone without watching at all and shift true matches back.

Its kinda of a waste of time to do it like women. And be like lets look at the profile lets look at his hobby's.

Neh its often less then a 5% change a women even shows any interest back. So just doing what is most likely to help shift true the people not interested and see matches back and then take the same is many many times beter for a men.

Just a numbers game. If a women gets like 50 times more hits then a men. Why not just only see who matches back and then pick from that.

Saves a massive amount of otherwise wasted time. Then just speed running true it and find matches back.

But for men dating apps are miserable do. It was good till like 5 years ago. Now its impossible. Not worth mens time at all.

Use to have a lot of fun just going out and just haveing a fun time and meeting people. Up till like 2019. And i dont know why but people been so impossible after that time. Ego and you name it. Just not worth most people's time honestly. Its like people are nit out to have a fun time and meet new people. No it feels often like there out to have like a check list of you have to do this for me or you not worth my time. Honestly miserable to many people think tick tock or skme shit is real life or the influencer life and standards is what everyone deserves so damn shallow.

VojakOne · 2024-10-26T18:31:47+00:00

Swiping on everything is very unrealistic. You get limited swipes, the app serves you the popular individuals first, and your own profile is buried unless you pay to have it temporarily shuffled higher. It takes forever, but being mindful with swipes pays off way more.

KratosGodOfLove · 2024-10-26T19:07:56+00:00

Depends on the app.

ThorLives · 2024-10-26T19:55:05+00:00

No.

Also, tinder insights data says that men swipe right on 40% of women (on average), which is less than 100%.

I'm sure there are guys who try to swipe right on everyone, and that drives up the percentages. But if 20% of guys swipe right on everyone, 60% swiped right on 30% of women, and the other 20% swiped right on 10% of women, that would work out to an average 40% swipe-right rate.

Hot_Road3076 · 2024-10-27T02:44:17+00:00

Mostly yes, but now you have to sift through lots of bots and my bot sniffer has gotten pretty good so I will swipe left on pretty attractive looking women if it's obvious they aren't real.

Cool_Ranch_2511 · 2024-10-27T05:48:19+00:00

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catdog8020 · 2024-10-27T06:04:37+00:00

Because The ones we don’t want may have to be ones that we have to settle for (except for the lucky American men in the Philippines)

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-10-27T09:34:06+00:00

Nah, my standards are unrealistically too high and that's why I don't ever get matches ever and end up deleting them :')

Beautiful_Bunch_6079 · 2024-10-27T10:44:40+00:00

No i swiped left more than right.

I didn’t last long though. My gf matched with me and we’ve been a real relationship. I didn’t stay on the apps for more than 3 days

Melodic_Structure928 · 2024-10-27T19:03:24+00:00

Well yes and no, depends on individual themselves (obviously) also where that individual sits on the attractiveness hierarchy. If he's Chad most likely no unless that particular chad is extremely horny.

if he's the average guy potentially yes as he's probably trying the shot gun approach to see if hopefully any women all lands. The baggers can't be choosers principals applies here.

Alternative_Cod2280 · 2024-10-28T16:46:21+00:00

Why would you waste your time to look at profiles you most likely won't even match with? It's a waste of time compared to the actual results, if there's any.

Ok-Gas-7189 · 2024-10-29T15:33:22+00:00

Men have no other option. They are in a seller’s market. They gain absolutely nothing but swiping discriminately.

ConsequenceBrief3868 · 2024-10-30T11:08:18+00:00

It's just easy to filter out women after match

Specified_Owl · 2024-11-01T06:32:53+00:00

I wouldn't do that, except that I am incentivized to do so. The apps don't reward me for being more picky. They punish me for being more picky.

meisterkraus · 2024-10-26T12:56:50+00:00

For me a swipe yes on most women because I fall more on the demisexual side. So if you don't have a glaring red flag on your profile you have passed the first stage. It would be like if I am at a bar and a woman started screaming l love doing coke, I am not going to talk to her.

Title	Do most men on dating apps just try to match with virtually every woman?
Author	IcyTrapezium
Upvotes	57
Comments	322
Date	October 26, 2024 11:02 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1gcikkd/do_most_men_on_dating_apps_just_try_to_match_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-most-men-on-dating-apps-just-try-to-match-with.1534020 https://theredarchive.com/post/1534020

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