Women lie about their "low" standards and the bar in hell

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-05-23T15:24:56+00:00

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CompetitiveSugar6451 · 2025-05-22T16:06:28+00:00

Yes it's kinda insulting when women keep repeating you don't attract any girl because you don't shower or brush your teeth. Sure some young men don't do that but they are a minority. Most of us want to feel fresh; smell good and don't have a stinky breath in our mouth.

classicslayer · 2025-05-22T16:39:04+00:00

The bar is low if women find you attractive but since women don't find most men attractive the bar doesn't even apply to them.

Consistent_Ad3181 · 2025-05-22T14:28:20+00:00

The juice ain't worth the squeeze

ExcelsiorState718 · 2025-05-23T04:12:48+00:00

They aren't lying they just want those standards in men they find attractive and they don't count unnatractive men which are invisible to them. Women only notice 2% of the male population and most of their OW open world complaints are about these men except for cat calling which is about unnatractive men.

Alwaysnthered · 2025-05-22T15:19:32+00:00

This topic has been beaten to hell.

when women say this, they are in a emotionally charged state (therefore logic is subdued), and they are pissed that the men they are already attracted too/are dating (which is a very small subset of men) are not putting in the work for them. they WANT these men to work for them, since they are attracted to them, and are frustrated.

it has NOTHING to do with the general male population.

just ignore them. not worth wasting your mental space.

done.

gutenshmeis · 2025-05-22T15:08:28+00:00

The bar is not in hell for men. It's just gaslighting you into thinking the reason she didn't choose you was because you weren't good enough. Its not fair to burden yourself with that.

Your average woman has a 2% swipe right on OLD. You're telling me 98% of men are sub-human?

AnxiousPeggingSlut · 2025-05-22T15:03:05+00:00

Meh, all that’s being revealed is that women and men are not on the same page at all.

Women are surprised that their economic advancement has coincided with NEETs and men dropping out but I don’t think they really realized that the main motivation for men to work hard was for wives and kids.

Now? Women can girl boss for themselves, why would men want to continue killing ourselves and being miserable?

Sitting in the air conditioning and playing Xbox is so much better!

Hopefully, the next generation of men does their own version of gender studies and chases their own happiness instead of all this shit.

Who wants to work and do math?

They lay everybody off every three years anyway and 95% of jobs don’t pay enough to live on.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-05-22T19:30:27+00:00

What they really mean is that the behaviour bar for Chad and the wealthy are in hell. once you look at it like this it all starts to make sense, it’s never been about the average guy as those dudes are usually invisible.

Bakenredemption · 2025-05-22T16:08:56+00:00

Because they are lying and whatever they say is complete bullshit.

Analyse their actions and what they DO. It never aligns with “just shower bro!!!” Lmao.

Forsaken-Ad-5913 · 2025-05-22T17:49:23+00:00

It’s a classic case of ‘women aren’t lying, they just mean something completely different from what they say’

TheGloriousEv0lution · 2025-05-22T14:28:17+00:00

I don’t think women so much lie so much as they’re assuming the man meets all their physical standards already. If a woman really finds you very attractive, you can get away with a lot so I actually believe them when they say the floor for their standards are low. It just gets higher the more you deviate from what she finds attractive. Being a respectful guy with a nice job doesn’t matter if you look like Quasimodo

I don’t think it’s just a woman thing here. My standards for say, uneducated obese woman would be way higher than my normal standards and I feel that’s true for most men

Men are probably a little more upfront about it though

NearDeath88 · 2025-05-22T18:50:49+00:00

I agree but I think BOTH sexes have higher standards now because not only social media, but media in general. If we can't get what we want, our lives are good enough that we are fine being single.

TigerBiting_A_Katana · 2025-05-22T17:59:14+00:00

We already know that for the average woman: for every 10 guys she comes across, she might only find 1 of them attractive. We know this already. Why does it matter if women admit this or not? So we can have some sort of gotcha moment?

When women complain in the way you say you can translate it into “the men I like are not liking me back, and the men who like me are not men I desire.”

So what of it? This is all ancient news.

Naive_Entertainer928 · 2025-05-22T16:03:40+00:00

To be honest, the women aren’t lying. These women have low standards for every quality that actually would net them an overall healthier/more fulfilling relationship, but they don’t care nearly as much when the guy is hot to them. Most men and women aren’t actually high EQ. People are changing the term to mean “be my fucking therapist, read my mind, or make me happy”. Newsflash, if you’re getting into a relationship for any of these reasons you’ve already shot yourself in the chest.

Women need to RAISE their standards for character and keep their physical standards. When that doesn’t work for you (statistically it can’t for the vast majority of women) lower your physical standards FIRST then try again. If that doesn’t work, consider being happy alone. Men fall victim to this too ,except the Red Pill forums will absolutely cook any man who stuck his dick in crazy, BPD, loser women etc. as you can literally go on them and see it in the comments. The red pill that doesn’t do this is the neo redpill that you find on YouTube.

Everyone would benefit from writing down what they actually want in a partner and asking if I HAD to eliminate one criteria what would it be and why?

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-05-22T19:39:24+00:00

Most women who say this just lack self awareness that the men they are attracted just don’t like them enough to put the effort in that these girls want from them.

Lots of women pick the guys they like based on what they fantasize about them and not what these men actually do for them. They see the men they have crushes on as cut out figures they want to paste into their dream life.

Any-Photo9699 · 2025-05-23T10:11:07+00:00

Most things that women say will start making a lot more sense once you understand that when they are talking about men, they are talking about one of the two types of men: those who are attractive, and those who aren't.

The bar is actually on the floor for men that they are already attracted to do. Those guys could do anything, even stuff below their supposed bar, and still get with most girls out there. The other guys weren't even in the radar in the first place and won't ever be there.

Glass-Violinist-8352 · 2025-05-22T14:56:32+00:00

Wait, is there something women don't lie about dating? Lol

Crazy_Kray · 2025-05-22T15:59:31+00:00

they are willing to risk unwashed ass and skid marked bedsheets as long as genetic makeup attracts them.

mustangfrank · 2025-05-22T16:48:27+00:00

Women do have low standards. Anyone below 6' is rejected.

kartu3 · 2025-05-22T14:21:45+00:00

A practical advice

It is true, that female "this is sexy" threashold is rather high.

But ultimately women are looking for "he is VERY into me, he REALLY needs me, he CARES about me very much" (and there are great reasons for that from biological perspective) and that is what can make quite a difference. (but yes, it does put you into more vulnerable position, but having a penis, you should be used to be treated as a lesser being anyway)

flexible-photon · 2025-05-22T20:08:54+00:00

The bar is in hell for men*.

*Attractive men with social status

ControversialDebator · 2025-05-22T21:15:08+00:00

Ikr. There is this truly hilarious idea that women's standards are low and that the bar is in hell for women. If that's the case then why are most men sexless? Why is it that most men would be perfectly ok with having sex with an average looking women while most women wouldn't even want an average man looking at them? Why is it that so much women refuse to date a guy because he's too short or too poor or not masculine enough? If men have standards that are too low than it's their fault for being fools but that's not the case?

ThulsaDoomer · 2025-05-23T06:42:51+00:00

First of all, women keep each other down by raising each other's standards to the point where they turn everyone down.

Next, exactly like you mentioned at the end there, women have low standards, but the assumption is that the guy already meets high standards in the looks criteria, then low (basic) behavioural standards apply on top of that.

Competitive_Swan_130 · 2025-05-23T07:54:19+00:00

Doing those things and doing them in a way you or the avg man thinks is sufficient are two different things.

donzok · 2025-05-23T09:47:29+00:00

it’s literally the opposite. women’s standards are insanely high

Alternative-Dream-61 · 2025-05-22T14:25:22+00:00

Attraction is subjective. Being attracted to someone is a pretty basic thing. Some women love beards, some hate them. Some women like bald dudes, some women hate them. There's no definition of a "standard" of physical attraction other than, in general, people prefer someone who appears healthy. That's an evolutionary imperative. Being in shape, not appearing too thin or too fat, and being well groomed are pretty basic rubrics we use to subconsciously evaluate health at an outward level.

The standards you mention are low. The vast majority of people (not just men) should be able to attain them. And yet I see people struggle to be nice, struggle with honesty and authenticity, and even have a complete lack of independence that borders on co-dependence. I don't think the vast majority of PEOPLE meet those standards. I see a lot of people living beyond their means financially and piling up credit card debt.

KamuiObito · 2025-05-22T15:21:56+00:00

Average women just aren’t that smart and get peer pressured into relationships. Half of these are out of their control in the sense of picking. They just don’t put enough effort.

ReasonableCoyote34 · 2025-05-22T23:01:54+00:00

There are two bars. The first bar is for looks and it’s so astronomically high and unrealistic that most men won’t ever reach it. Only a few men can clear that bar and once they do, then there’s a second much easier bar which is pretty much just clean up after yourself and don’t be a jackass

Whenever you hear, women yap about the bar being low, they’re referring to men who have already cleared the high, unrealistic first bar, but haven’t cleared the much easier second bar because those men don’t actually have to clear that 2nd bar in order to get dates and hookups

TheMedsPeds · 2025-05-22T21:04:57+00:00

I can’t speak for other people but I have really low standards but am still single at 35 (to be fair I was married in my 20’s but my husband died)

I just don’t have a social life to meet new people. And I don’t want to do dating apps, so there is rarely chances to meet new guys.

Doesn’t mean I’m lying. Also, guys tend to lose interest in me because I’m kind of a tomboy so after a month or so the “coolness” of being laid back and chill wares off and they lose interest. It doesn’t always happen, but has happened at least 3 times.

RecognitionSoft9973 · 2025-05-22T22:18:31+00:00

I keep seeing so many women talk about their "standards" being super low and still no man is able to meet them. The "standards" which they mention are always stuff like: Nice, washes himself and brushes his teeth, is able to provide for himself, honest and independant.

You would be surprised at how few men bathe regularly (you need to bathe every day unless your doctor tells you not to) or brush their teeth and god forbid, floss. I don't have the best teeth myself but I put effort into maintaining my dental health. Do a search for "husband hygiene" or "boyfriend hygiene" on reddit and you'll see how bad it truly is.

The men don't wash their ass meme was so popular for a reason. Same with the men don't wash their hands thing. Why... why??

Then the circle jerk begins where everyone joins and talks about how low these standards are and it's crazy that ALL men are not able to meet these basic standards. Of course, not mentioning the actual standards, but the "standards".

I consider my standards low, lower than the average woman. My standards are for a guy to be hygienic, if we're discussing my standards for looks. I think a man who stays on top of his hygiene, which includes flossing BTW, is likely to take care of himself in other areas. Being hygienic is an important signifier for a lot of things: looks, the ability to take responsibility for oneself and so on. If a man is hygienic, it means he's more likely to go to the doctor by himself instead of being nagged into it. He probably watches his diet instead of stuffing his face all the time... etc.

Pretty much every single man that I know, do these super basic things and way more. All of them are permanently single.

We don't know about their situations at all so how can we extrapolate from this?

I know a lot of women on social media in particular complain about the bar being low for men while in reality, setting the bar quite high for men, but I do think a lot of older women are with guys who did have the bar set low for them, but those guys fail to meet it in terms of hygiene, as stated. I think the bar is set higher only by young women who are brainrotted by TikTok discourse, who want men to jump through 3000 hoops just to prove that they're worthy.

ThatBitchA · 2025-05-22T15:18:37+00:00

"The bar is in hell" is a remark made out of frustration. Or a remark to describe a weird corner of the internet.

It's not some motto that women are living their life by.

Y'all hear one thing and whip yourselves into an emotional frenzy, "women said this, and thus, it means they lie."

Based on what I gather from the single men who participate in this sub, the bar is in hell. If the men who participate here are the best options available, no wonder women are staying single.

Epthewoodlandcritter · 2025-05-23T00:57:29+00:00

A man can meet an exceed my standards but I still probably won't pick him. Women are looking for a life partner not shopping for produce at the market.

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SeemedGood · 2025-05-22T22:02:15+00:00

https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/027/752/6lwrp2xhplg41.jpg

Redhotangelxxx · 2025-05-23T05:22:14+00:00

Of course attraction is implied? I’m very confused about what the problem is, being physically attracted to your sexual partner or potential sexual and romantic partner is not a high standard. If the men they’re physically attracted to aren’t nice, honest or able to provide for themselves then yeah it’ll be hard to find someone. Especially since on this sub it’s very clear by men that being settled for by their partner in terms of looks is not something they want or would be fine with.

Beccixxx3 · 2025-05-23T08:25:52+00:00

These standards conversations that you are observing: This is a simplied commonality in the standards most women have. Not all the standars all different women out there have. Most people on earth have many more baseline traits that they need in a partner. And when I see people saying "the bar is in hell" it mainly about focusing on these baseline traits as somebodies good qualities, because all these things are basic life skills.

Second: Attraction and standars are different perspecitves, I can be attracted to a person and still find they don't reach my standards.

"Pretty much every single man that I know, do these super basic things and way more. All of them are permanently single. Now all of a sudden the subject suddenly changes", I always find this discourse to be very fascinating. Because yeah, amazing men out there who not only are managing to clean themselfs but also are very kind understanding people with successful careers and whatever you please are single. It has nothing to do with baseline traits a lot of the time, it can be absolutely anything that makes people be single. This also applies to women.. Here's the thing. For every man who is single, there is a woman who is single (basically), because we are about 50/50 in the population (and i'm guessing we are focusing on straight people here).

(to add, the statistics i'm finding worlwide is that there are more men identifying as gay than women, but I havent dived too deep into it so i'm not gonna discuss it further)

And one thing I do wanna make clear: Most of the women I know have dated men that do not do these things.. and in the end that wasn't even the reason it ended. And I am guessing med have had these experiences too.

And yes, those are low standards for men also. But only being attracted to Victoria's Secret models isn't really what I would define as a standard, not in a traits way atleast like the other "standards" you're describing. Or do you mean that as you would never date a person who isn't a VS model? Cause yeah that would be very high standars, and a very small dating pool. It's not wrong though to have that preference, you just need to aknowlegde that it is a vary limiting trait.

AnxiousPeggingSlut · 2025-05-23T11:24:40+00:00

Good luck to them, I guess lol

No-Comfort1229 · 2025-05-23T12:26:15+00:00

i know very few guys who meet all of those “super easy” standards you mentioned. besides that, isnt it fair to want to be attracted to your partner? thats not comparable to demanding a victoria secret model. why are men so offended when women dont want to date someone they find hideous, when men are the first to want a girlfriend thats pretty? well, women dont even want him to be hot, they just want him to be attractive in their own eyes. and have you ever had a walk outside? you can see so many average, pretty or even beautiful women with average or even ugly men. so stop complaining about standards, for gods sake. many women even put up with cheating just to keep staying with a mediocre partner theyre in love with. so yes, the bar is literally in hell.

a beautiful man with a ugly woman? i dont think ive ever seen that. (besides that one beautiful actor guy with the old wife who groomed him. theyre so infamous while there are so so so many famous cases where the genders are reversed and no one says anything) an average or even ugly guy with an ugly woman who doesnt try to cheat on her or look at other women? did that ever happen? you fail to realize men’s standards are way higher than women, and they may settle, but theyll always try to get more.

Zestyclose_Sugar4573 · 2025-05-23T12:36:14+00:00

Is our society becoming more like an efficient/productive bee colony bit by bit? Most members are worker bees who are females and the head of them is the queen bee. She gets to reproduce. The males are a select few drone bees who are chosen to mate with the queen bee. Afterwards, they are left to die off. It could be that we are transitioning back from a patriarchal society to a matriarchal society and we are experiencing some pains/pangs in the process.

Solondthewookiee · 2025-05-22T16:43:55+00:00

Because the fallacy is that women are only seeing attractive men fail to clear the most basic standards and behavior.

This is just the debunked 80/20 rule creating a logic circle.

The bar being in hell is observed by women across the entire spectrum of men.

SadMouse410 · 2025-05-22T21:17:34+00:00

Yes, most people want to date people they find attractive, doesn’t that kind of go without saying? Why would you get romantically involved with someone you don’t find attractive?

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-05-22T15:08:20+00:00

Does this not by default imply that you actually have very high standards, since pretty every guy meets these basic standards

A woman produces around 300 potentially viable eggs in a lifetime, presuming she's healthy for the duration of her fertile window. Pregnancy, birth, and gestation are taxing-to-debilitating and the product is 18-26 years of round the clock care, concern, expense, and all at the expense of a mother's autonomy. A man produces a quadrillion sperm. 1,000,000,000,000,000 potential chances to impregnate…

A woman has one-three chances in any given month to conceive, assuming she isn't pregnant, nursing, sick, stressed, or on any form of hormonal birth control. If she conceives, her body and mind are fully engaged in growing that fetus at the expense of her own physical and mental health. Same for the subsequent three-five years, which are devoted to keeping an infant and toddler alive and thriving.

A man produces 50-100 million viable gametes per day. His investment in pregnancy and the care, feeding, and raising of the child ranges from nothing to minimal effort possible.

Mods, these facts are indisputable and are obviously overlooked by many uninformed young men. Why not add this to the sausage fest which is the sidebar?

There is absolutely nothing in the sidebar which favors facts, science, or the female perspective there.

Men obviously don't consider female reproductive investment, sexual attraction, and risk assessment, why don't you add something like this so these rants stop getting recycled daily? Let science and women share at least a minimal percentage of the sidebar.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-05-22T14:26:57+00:00

I’ve broken up with all but one dude I dated for either cheating or bangmaid treatment

And my one requirement is: don’t offend me

GKilat · 2025-05-22T23:39:58+00:00

The question is, why is this never the first part when talking about the standards?

Consider food. It must be edible for it to be considered as one. That is the minimum. Now just because it meets the minimum doesn't mean everyone will want to eat it. Potato is edible and yet almost nobody will want to eat it as it is unless they are really hungry or in the minority. It needs more with it so more people will want it like it being cooked or paired with other ingredients.

It's the same with dating. Meeting the minimum means you are now a potential partner starting from the minority of people. The more interesting you are, the more people will like you. Obviously, not all will be compatible with you just as not a single food is universally liked but you can be compatible with most by being interesting and not bland.

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2025-05-22T14:30:36+00:00

That is not what “the bar is in hell” means.

DragoniteNine · 2025-05-22T19:45:25+00:00

"All you need is to be 6ft, have 6 inches and a 6/10 face" (Top 20%)

^ Are these the standards? Or was it something else

Dapper-Suggestion462 · 2025-05-22T15:14:35+00:00

CHIN000K · 2025-05-22T20:57:03+00:00

It is low as far as they are concerned. They are completely self-contained. Why take someone into your life who doesn't improve it? Totally logical from their pov. Clown world.

Robot_Alchemist · 2025-05-23T06:08:58+00:00

Are you upset the bar isn’t at “functions like a toddler?”

Impossible-Pin2457 · 2025-05-22T19:56:27+00:00

Men rely on literal reality for survival.

Women rely on perceived reality for survival. They can't survive outside the groupthink evolutionary. So they cackle together and do and stay dumb shit like this while also ruining the democrat party lol...

Title	Women lie about their "low" standards and the bar in hell
Author	OndeVerge
Upvotes	195
Comments	386
Date	May 22, 2025 2:17 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ksrugl/women_lie_about_their_low_standards_and_the_bar/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-lie-about-their-low-standards-and-the-bar-in.1552834 https://theredarchive.com/post/1552834

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A practical advice