Daily Community Chat Megathread

AutoModerator · 2022-01-29T14:00:15+00:00

This daily thread is designed to be a place for all the funny discussions on PPD. Feel free to post off-topic questions, information, points-of-view, etc... in...

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I’m really tired of watching guys trying to shame women into dating men who they aren’t attracted to. I mean would these guys really date girls they weren’t attracted to?

What’s the point of acting like the world is fair and “looksmatch” people should date each other.

Guys need to understand what it feels like, for a women most men disgust them. They can’t imagine being sexually intimate with them. Guys need to think of the most obese wart filled girl to get an idea of how that feels.

This has nothing to do with justice, it doesn’t matter if the guy will treat her like a queen or love her. She doesn’t want to fuck him. She will continue to fuck guys she finds desirable hoping again and again one of them will surprise her by being a good one.

This is exactly why I support PUA because you can’t force her to change who she is attracted to, you can only try to become the person who attracts her.

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It's more complicated than that. And we do not know for sure where things are going. I'm just saying that I wouldn't want to accept that some high rate of male sexlessness is natural or good for either gender. So if it keeps climbing, we should be investigating why and looking for win-win, voluntary ways to help get the genders back together. All such ideas would be welcome.

On the other hand, there are those with a darker outlook. They say that it is normal and natural for most men to not find a true female partner due to the selective nature of female sexuality. This is by evolutionary design, and is good for us. Because of male domination, and because of the needs of the times based on technological realities, civilizations had to suppress that natural female selectivity for the good of the whole, but at great expense to women.

Now we are in a new age. Women's true sexuality can manifest, and there is no more absolute need for women to sacrifice so much on the erotic end just to make society function. We are going back to what evolution designed us to be, and men had just better adapt.

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And how are men suppose to get other men to have sexual restraint?

Seems like women have a greater voice for cultural change than men, yet they don’t exercise it for ALL men. Besides women tend to be attracted to high n count men anyway so I don’t see why they would discourage it generally speaking.

If a man were to encourage sexual restraint, people would say he’s cock blocking or a simp. Men and women would find this distasteful and unattractive.

If a woman were to encourage sexual restraint, women may say she’s a pick me, but men wouldn’t care. The consequences for women are far less severe if they advocate for sexual restraint among men.

I simply don’t see how it’s beneficial to women. If chad stopped sleeping around, most women wouldn’t get to interact with him and miss out on a relationship. Chad sleeping around at least gives them the hope of a relationship and a few women might fall through the cracks.

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If we are looking for a win win situation, the extent to which cultural and environmental factors matter is the key question. I think it is far from clear whether adjusting culture could 'fix the problem', if the problem is keeping male sexlessness rates down to a low enough level that the widespread monogamy model continues to work.

Now, as to whether we can or would do what it takes to adjust culture sufficiently, especially in states governed by liberal enlightenment principles, well I guess that is another key question.

A third key question is what kind of natural equilibrium we get to if we do just let things run free and wild as we have been doing. What levels of male sexlessness will we get to? Will they be a problem? Also, it isn't just about the quantity when it comes to sexual relationships, but the quality as well. A lot of men still get married, but if it is late, and the men go without sex before, barely have enthusiastic sex during, and then are divorced when the children are paid for, that too might be a problem.

At any rate, I do not buy that this is entirely out of our control. Nor do I believe that the first solutions should be zero sum, involving the coercion of women to be with men they aren't attracted to. It MIGHT come to that one day, but I sure as hell hope not. Let's start with honestly monitoring and investigating the issue, and then win win, voluntary solutions at first if there is a problem.

[–]Mark_Freed2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

The west may not have that much time to sit and investigate alternatives before the consequences catches up to them. Civilisation is a ruthless competition. There are other cultures out there that are less moral but more functional.

Yeah that’s an interesting point. Even if marriage happens, under the current circumstances deadbedrooms become more likely, adultery is not a crime, it just feels like a bad deal.

It’s fascinating…. Without families, without people choosing to have kids. Their values, genes will die out in a single generation. Their ideas, beliefs, lifestyle will not be passed down. It’s such a quick death.

When people play hardball about marriage and kids, it’s a lose lose situation with other places where people have kids win.

Sex in of itself I think the need is exaggerated. Porn, prostitution could help substitute that need. The need for intimacy, love, affection, acceptance… that’s more crucial.

I don’t know if lust is needed for that. Even a beta bux would get that from his wife. Even if his wife doesn’t desire him or want to fuck him, she will be thankful for his support and will give him love.

[–]WilliamWyattD3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Maybe. I do not believe we should overreact or make premature decisions. But these things do need to be watched carefully and discussed openly, objectively and candidly.

I mean it is possibly that the market will correct itself. Maybe this is just a temporary market disconnect. The environment, due to technology, changed radically in the 1960s. Huge cultural changes followed. Perhaps the issue is that needed changes in male behavior are lagging. Women have changed their offer, and are sticking to it, with all their sexual leverage behind it.

Perhaps, instead of being sexual socialists and intervening in the market, we just give women's power time to work and men will eventually up their bid. Then perhaps an equilibrium we can live with will reappear.

I don't know this is true, but it is one possibility.

[–]Mark_Freed1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yeah honestly I am a big believer in free market. Especially in human dynamics. Already you can see women realise that they are getting the short end of the stick when they sleep quickly with guys.

How causal sex isn’t that rewarding to them..

A lot of these things will self correct over time. If women are genuinely unhappy being single they will compromise and try to get a guy. Younger girls will see older women struggle and will try to get into a committed relationship early on.

Even without having these objective, open explicit discussions, as long as people are observant, using their brain and really looking around them at what is happening.

We will see behaviour changing to adjust for the situation and a new equilibrium is inevitable.

Will that equilibrium be good for us? Moral? Will most people be happy in that state of affairs as compared to the time when monogamy was socially enforced? I don’t know and I don’t think so…

But that is the problem with non intervention, you don’t get to choose the end state. You just go along for the line.

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i don’t think you should be having this hard of a time finding a decent woman but you need to be more honest about your standards.

I don't think I should be having this hard of a time either and yet I am. The rare times I bother to go on a dating site or app I can not believe how bad the available women are. It feels like in the midwest that if you are not married by 25 anything that is leftover will be leftover for obvious reasons such as a nasty drug habit or having $170,000 worth of student loan and credit card debt. It isn't just me either it feels like every two or three months my local subreddit has a thread with mostly men complaining how bad the dating scene is and all the single guys I am friends with agree or have given up entirely. It feels like all the decent women are either married or left the state for university or immediately after graduating.

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hmmm. what’s the mindset?

Cliquishness, closed off mindset, unable to accept people with different views, traditionalism expecting guys to be the provider if they are a woman and if a man expecting to be the provider but also expecting her to be a baby maker who does all the housework and cooking, and things like that.

i don’t typically like the idea of small town men but they have good family values and i would love that.

You would love the tradesmen here extremely family oriented and most of them make good money and have a good body from all the physical work, but can never find a compatible woman. All the office working women refuse to date them because of their job and background and there is only so many other women to go around especially when the gender ratios are this bad. Some would tolerate the sassiness and you being in charge and others would not. I don't think it would work though because most of them would not be interested in dating an African American woman.

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wym especially the women? black women date black men at a higher rate than any other women. idk why there’s this strange loyalty but it’s definitely there.

I mean almost all the black women I knew would not date black guys because they didn't think they were good enough for them. Some of them it felt like they almost fetishized white guys because they felt it was a status signifier or something similar to guys with yellow fever. I understand people have preferences and I have my own, but it felt pretty extreme to me to where I noticed it. Some black guys were like that as well, but it was less common.

i feel like maybe men wouldn’t struggle as much if they were the same? i know you truly can’t help preferences, but i definitely think men are picky beggars sometimes. and white men are like the most sought after so i don’t understand those complaints tbh.

That is how I feel about women if they didn't have such ridiculous standards they could easily find a good guy who would treat them well and marry them. Instead they are dating hot guys who treat them badly and then keep complaining to me about it. The girl who friend zoned me for not being tall and athletic enough kept dating unemployed losers who were tall and hot and then complaining to me about it or that some of them abused her then would ask why she can't just find a nice guy like me? After I had asked her out. It feels like they would rather date a guy with no job that leeches off them or that beats them occasionally if it means they can date a hot guy.

It wasn't just her though that pattern described so many women I knew who would either do that or tell me if they can't get the impossible standards they want they would rather be alone. It got to the point where it felt like women with reasonable expectations are unicorns.

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with the crude humor of a midlife male in a sitcom to top it off 😂

Women love my humor and dad jokes.

if these women aren’t into you, you’re probably not as above average as you think you are.

It just means they are hypergamous.

nobody said ur not open, women are pretty open too lmaooo. but you’re not gonna suddenly date someone you’re not attracted to just because, right? those women are attracted to hotter men than you, just like you’re only attracted to childfree white-pale women that are under 220lbs. and i’m sure a plethora of other things. it’s good to have standards and know what you want.

I don't think you get it the problem isn't standards and preferences it is having realistic standards and preferences for your level. Guys are usually reasonable about it, but women are not. Nobody is saying women can't want certain things, but you have to have reasonable standards not completely outlandish ones.

There is a difference between me saying I want a woman under 220 pounds when I am already average weight and a guy saying he expects a supermodel which is basically what women are asking for. I would mock my guy friends if they said something like that especially if they are not on that level themselves.

both things are ok, these women are fucking hot men because these men are giving them the time of day. those women are barely giving you that too, right? so stop demonizing women for their preferences when you’re literally doing the same stuff.

These women are getting pumped and dumped or getting hot guys who then treat them badly. Like I said above I am not doing the same thing they are it is a matter of degrees.

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"Women like nice guys"

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704915613909

https://akjournals.com/view/journals/2050/14/1/article-p1.xml

Study shows that men who commit violence against women at a rate of 18x that of non-violent men are 4x more likely to be fathers, effectively showing that violence has a positive impact factor of 72.

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/11470503_Males_on_the_life-course-persistent_and_adolescence-limited_antisocial_pathways_Follow-up_at_age_26_years

Top 10% of antisocial men commit 62% of all violence against women yet are also responsible for 27% of all babies fathered. Just fucking lol. I have no words.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1090513814000774

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6224861/pdf/main.pdf

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cux0dm/discussion_research_finds_that_women_do_not/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/summary?doi=10.1.1.650.5749

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283732665_How_Alluring_Are_Dark_Personalities_The_Dark_Triad_and_Attractiveness_in_Speed_Dating

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kg92xw/Reverse_post%3A_what_makes_you_think_that_women_are_into_a-holes%3F/gge3vra/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/mjnptx/For_men_who_feel_lied_to_by_society_about_women%2C_can_you_give_examples_of_things_in_popular_culture_you_feel_mislead_you%3F/gtbakla/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

Have fun. I would start with the last two since they have some text which I can't be bothered to write. There may be some overlap in the links.

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Would like to see some guys here be able to empathize with women on an individual level more. Whatever the cause, or whatever the collective female culpability, the sexual revolution and modernity happened. Whatever impact this all had on women's standards happened.

But for an individual woman, this can be pretty hard to change. So many women who are not top of the leagues in attractiveness find they can only be turned on by guys that probably won't choose them for LTRs. But these women also want real love and connection. So they end up sleeping with what they find attractive and hoping they somehow land one, because it does happen. This is very damaging to them and really fucking hurts.

It is very hard for many women to find and get what can make them happy, given current cultural influences. As men, let's just understand that situation on its own terms and feel bad for them. Forget about whether they empathize with men, or whatever. Take the first step.

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[–]Bandit1747 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Whatever the cause, or whatever the collective female culpability, the sexual revolution and modernity happened. Whatever impact this all had on women's standards happened.

I agree.

But for an individual woman, this can be pretty hard to change. So many women who are not top of the leagues in attractiveness find they can only be turned on by guys that probably won't choose them for LTRs.

that's unfortunate

As men, let's just understand that situation on its own terms and feel bad for them. Forget about whether they empathize with men, or whatever. Take the first step.

Why can't they take the first step on anything? There's already more men such as yourself that sympathize with them than there are women that sympathize with men and at the end of the day sympathizing with them changes nothing. Perhaps just as some women are incapable of being genuinely attracted to anything but the top tier men maybe some men are incapable of sympathizing with women on this and also shouldn't be pressured into feeling something that is unnatural for them.

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It’s easy to empathise if you remove yourself from the situation and look at it objectively. But sitting here, actually participating in the dating market it feels very personal.

It reminds me of the death penalty. Objectively I am against it and I feel we shouldn’t kill people, I’m all for reformative justice system, give counselling, make them into functional members of society, reduce recidivism, etc

But if some brutally raped my sister or killed my parents. I’d want them to die. I’d be happy the justice system is punitive.

So I agree with you, but it’s really hard. I don’t even think it is useful. You make it sound like if enough men take the first step and show empathy women will start to reciprocate. But I’ve noticed a distinct case of solipsism in women.

It’s not that they lack empathy but they can’t conceptualise how men might think, male sexuality, male needs, it’s all too alien to them and automatically disgusting.

So I wonder on a practical level, what purpose will such empathy solve. Right now at least all the men can vent and fume, if you can’t even be pissed at them then what do you do with all your frustration? We need to set up some way to productively channel these negative emotions.

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I’m gonna talk about mindset rq and step away from pussy but I swear if it wasn’t for CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) who knows where I’d be right now.

You know how often we can talk ourselves out of doing shit just cause? Thank goodness I was required to get a session in the military cause I had anger management courses.

Anyways yea think how sinister that voice in your head is with the self limiting beliefs and irrational thoughts.

I call it changing the narrative whatever story you’ve been living through in your head where you’re the scum of the earth and you can’t do nothing right just change the narrative and say that you’re on the come up and with enough prep and time you can do whatever you set your mind to.

Kill all irrationalities and those “I can’t” turns into “I’ll try” into “I will.” And if you fail you’ll say “I’m happy you fail because that’s the greatest teacher.”

I’m off my soapbox for the day get ready for another PPD shit post

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[–]DerekMorganBAU2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes they’re just alike.

We all doubt ourselves but we spiral when we have poor coping skills. The summation of your negative thoughts are your neurons taking the same path that they’ve been conditioned to take - which are the negative thought processes.

You’re literally training your brain to be negative and your neurons feel as if it’s unnatural to fire off into positive thoughts. That’s why some people genuinely downplay their success and exaggerate their failures.

They legit think what they accomplish is no big deal or that they just were lucky. It takes power away from themselves.

Eventually you’ll turn the corner but it takes time. I was angry all the time so when I was told that I was suicidal I was really just a sad boi I was like “wtf no” but anger is a secondary emotion used to cover up pain so I wasn’t coping with anything.

But like I said we all have doubts but when you can cope it’s like white noise in the background it doesn’t mean shit

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[–]DerekMorganBAU2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It will take a minute and that’s okay. It’s part of the process honestly. Like I said it’s extremely sinister. For instance I have to work on getting my passport and for the past month I’ve been looking up how to expedite it and what I have to do and I’ve been talking myself out of it because it’s just “too much” and I “don’t feel like it” but I need it to go on a trip with my friends in 2 months so I literally caught myself and said “Why can’t I do it?” And there’s no real reason. I just didn’t want to try and fuck up and I was too proud to ask for help. That made no sense. So I said “Just because I thought that I can’t, I will show myself that I can.”

This internal convo happened in a span of 5 seconds but you get the point. You have to identify the irrational thoughts and kill it and use it as fuel to keep moving forward.

You don’t have to suppress your emotions or those thoughts. You have to have an honest dialogue with yourself. An honest dialogue isn’t “I’m worthless” and you reply with “Yep I am even thinking that I’m worthless means that I’m worthless because other people don’t think like this” and that’s NOT an HONEST conversation.

An honest take is “I’m worthless” “Well why do I think that?” “Because of (insert reasons here)”

“I have the power to change and grow and overcome so even IF what it say is true now that’s NOT where I’m going to be down the road and I’m already making strides to change it by just acknowledging my shortcomings and being willing to improve.”

You have to give yourself small victories but that starts with FORGIVING YOURSELF. You’re allowed to have bad thoughts. You’re allowed to have suicidal ideations. You’re allowed to have setbacks. This is YOUR journey. No one else’s. You set the parameters.

I’m here if you need me this is what I do.

[–]i_have_a_semicolon1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks for this. I like those examples. I might try them a little later today. This week we circled back to the beginning of DBT and are doing mindfulness techniques. I find mindfulness is a good skill to leverage to bring down emotional intensity. My psych said that it could take 3 years of dbt to be cured. And she wants to put me on Prozac. I'm already on a lot of meds so I'm nervous but maybe it will help? I wanted to do this with my own head but I feel overwhelmed by life. Some days the emotions get so bad I have to call out of work on a sick day. I just want to be able to get out of this hole and move forward in my life. I'll keep trying those techniques too. They called them negative thought rethinking and it's part of either the emotional regulation or distress tolerance module, I forget. I'm definitely nervous about having to do this multiple times and I hope eventually I can get off medication too.

[–]DerekMorganBAU2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I don’t like to use the term “cured” as a medical professional myself for mental health because it’s like chronic arthritis there can be “flare ups.” I like to call it “weathering the storm.” There will always be rain and dark clouds, sleet hail snow etc. But how well can you weather the storm? Do you have your jacket, gloves, boots, umbrella, etc? Those are your coping skills. It still sucks because its stormy but it can’t rain forever. The sun will always shine again.

Prozac is a mood stabilizer and it helps with the up and down feeling and the mania in general. I’ve been there though trust me I was in boot camp reading the Bible at the chaplains office like lord in heaven please see me through this cause I can NOT go back home lmao

Just think of taking your medication like you’re brushing your teeth or washing your face. It’s just part of your routine and something you have to do for overall wellness. Try exercising too and walks outside, her some vitamin D because that stabilizes your mood too.

Like I said it’s a process and a journey. My favorite saying came from my hero Kobe Bryant and he said “The days are long but the weeks are short.”

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Then you realize that elevated bmi actually predicts increased dating success in men compared to normal BMI, but low BMI is optimal for women. As a result, “normal weight” bmi comparisons between men and women are close to meaningless.

Further, we know that the variance in number of sexual encounters is higher for men, meaning a small handful of men are getting the most attention while average and below dudes are left out in the rain compared to average women. This isn’t a perfect measurement since it’s investigating partner count and not relationships directly, but it’s a decent proxy because over half of people regardless of gender want a relationship out of their hookups. This would seem to point to the idea that average men have it harder.

Just some extra data to include in the picture beyond some population wide BMI statistics.

[–]Izgoy2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Thanks for expanding the topic. I can imagine the situation is more nuanced than simply what I provided, but it answers to OP's claim. Studies show women generally experience more weight stigma than men, although there are other studies to refute this and unlike women, thin men experience it as well. I believe it is more prevalent for women and this definitely relates to female body image norms, which affects both men's and women's perception in regards to dating. Men show double standards when judging weight also.

All those dating studies are interesting because I read another study that supports the matching hypothesis where people of all genders generally match with others similar to their "perceived attractiveness" in the end (though many people do talk to more attractive others first). That makes the playing field more equal. After all those Tinder studies I think the platform itself might be the problem because of the attitudes it encourages

[–]E-2-butene3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

FYI, your first link is broken, so I can’t really respond to it well. In a boarder sense, I’ve seen stuff more similar to what you’re describing as far as stigma; slim men get judged and play a price for it, at least in terms of dating success. I’m not sure if women face more direct social shaming for it, but if they do, seems like a plausible explanation might be simply that that’s one avenue for women to pursue mate competition (akin to how they slut shame to devalue other women).

The second paper is interesting, but I’m not sure how it plays into dating. Seems to relate to self perceptions. It’s an important factor in being satisfied with your own body, but fundamentally opposite-sex rating is what’s most important for dating, and it seems pretty clear that women are far more critical on that front. The paper also weirdly seems to somewhat oppose it’s own conclusions. Men were more critical with non-ideal bodies and only had a positive double standard with ideal bodies. They seem to make the argument that men apply this positive bias in a case by case basis to each attribute to sate their own ego, but that seems far from obvious.

All those dating studies are interesting because I read another study that supports the matching hypothesis where people generally match with others similar to their “perceived attractiveness” in the end

I agree with this… in the end. It’s pretty clear we broadly practice assertive mating in the long run. The question is how painful the process is to get there. Based on male variance in sexual success, it seems like the most likely scenario is women spend primarily their youth chasing hotter guys, but eventually settle down with their equal in a long term scenario. For example, can find a number of studies showing that the men that women hook up with are more attractive (in this case more muscular) than their long term partners.

That intermediate phase before hitting a stable assortment seems pretty painful for dudes. Honestly, the latter phase would be too, if she feels like she’s settling below what she “could get” in her past.

[–]Izgoy2 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

That's weird, the link works for me. The research is titled "Gender differences in the relationship of weight-based stigmatisation with motivation to exercise and physical activity in overweight individuals" I'm not specifically taking about physical activity but the study cites literature confirming what I said. You might be right that a lot of stigma among women is self-imposed or used strategically.

It is worth remembering, the more thorough a literature review is conducted, the more nuanced the outcome becomes. I'm writing a thesis now and learning this the hard way. Yeah the second study may not be entirely relevant but I found it interesting as well, it isn't something I thought about. The interaction of self-perception, social stigma, and dating considerations all play into this.

I do agree that women generally pursue a more aggressive dating strategy. The final outcome is something that should give men hope in regards to relationships. When it comes to hook ups, I believe men more than women are interested in those. That makes the playing field uneven by default. Red Pill seems to vacillate between endorsing pick-up-artist type strategies to equalize the dating market, and holding high standards for women and only settling for worthy partners with limited/no sexual history. Ideally the matching hypothesis would work out in everyone's favor.

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[–]DaphneDK42King of LBFMs 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (34 children) | Copy Link

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[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]i_have_a_semicolonPurple Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]7SovarN 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountWhiteoids bad... m'kay? 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Matt_Door 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ppdebateismental 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Dulce__CriaturaMy Stacy's Stacy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Ppdebateismental 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]-passepar2t-I do not think that they will sing to me 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsWrrrYyYy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MisterFlipside 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountWhiteoids bad... m'kay? 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]lulll 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]xxCrabMasterxx 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Plopolok 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NotGoingoutofMW 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]NotGoingoutofMW 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]343_peaches_and_teaNo Pill 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountWhiteoids bad... m'kay? 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DaphneDK42King of LBFMs 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dulce__CriaturaMy Stacy's Stacy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, dating apps didn’t invent misogyny or womanizers. But they did give straight men – unvetted men – unfettered access to women.

They gave them a new sense of boldness through a seemingly endless set of options. They gave them the ability to decide with the flick of a finger whether a woman was “hot or not” enough.

The effect of all this on straight male psychology is something I’ve discussed with psychologists, feminists, evolutionary biologists.

You don’t have to have a PhD to see that dating apps privilege the male gaze and give straight men an outsized idea of their power in their dealings with women.

The definition of apex fallacy.

Old sex ratio has such an imbalance that woman are exactly like this.

More points to the most men are invisible theory.

Woman rp men more than anyone.

[–]Less_DetailHigh N count women are the best 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]John_OakmanLVM advocate 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]ExtraBurdensomeCountWhiteoids bad... m'kay? 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Any_Championship_654 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted]1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I was listening to the wheat waffles and hamza debate. I feel cringy af saying that lol

Anyways Hamza is saying that you’ve got to make yourself the best version of yourself possible, wheat waffles says if your SUBFIVE then it’s pointless.

Here is a picture of a guy named Derek Simnett, he is about 5’5 but he is a beast at calisthenics.

He has a successful YouTube channel and does nutrition and fitness coaching.

Another example is Frank Medrano, he is about 5’6 and does calisthenics.

There is also Jordan Syatt, he is 5’4 and also runs a successful nutrition and fitness coaching business.

Despite these guys heights, they’re all in relationships and seem happy.

As a bonus, there is also Nimai Delgado who is 5’9. That is average height, but according to a lot of discussions online that is still too short for most women.

[–]huhwhatokok6 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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You gotta save something for old age. Meth is fantastic when you already look old and haggard and have no teeth. No downside.

Until then, classic amphetamine is still the bomb. Hard to get these days with so many newfound drugs running around, and no 'legitimate' use lol

But back in my club days, I loved MDMA. Sadly, in a way, I usually had access to the pure stuff. When it isn't cut with some type of stimulant, one can actually get a bit low-energy on it. So I loved to mix it with pure amphetamine. Basically, I'd rather cut it myself with good speed than trust them to cut it with some crappy kinda stimulant.

Ah, the good old days. Took a trip to Cambodia (super budget) a couple of years back. Went out to 'party' again like it was 1999. Had access to weed and pure ritalin. Thought I loved the uppers--but older and out of shape, it definitely was not the same thing lol. Two nights disabused me of the dream that you can be young again in that way. And that wasn't even factoring in how ridiculous I must have looked to others, which wasn't a factor since everyone there looked ridiculous.

[–]LetsDelveIntoIt11 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]goatismycopilot1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

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[–]Slipthe1 point 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]funlightmandarin -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]goatismycopilotcatladycatladycatlady🐐🐐🐐🐐 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]YahweenThe Ghost of West Elm 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]-passepar2t-I do not think that they will sing to me -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]the-lone-squidSquid 2020 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DaphneDK42King of LBFMs 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]funlightmandarin -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]dontassumemygender1 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

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[–]wtknightGen X Slacker[M] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Truth_Sellah_SeekahBrown Eyes Ethnic Dragon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]nessaea-bluechrome pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]YahweenThe Ghost of West Elm -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]wtknightGen X Slacker 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dulce__CriaturaMy Stacy's Stacy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]vagine_inspektor 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsWrrrYyYy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]throwaway213091345🟪 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]PlatinirismBlackpill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PlatinirismBlackpill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]MisterFlipside 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]PlatinirismBlackpill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MisterFlipside 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]PlatinirismBlackpill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Slootando 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Truth_Sellah_SeekahBrown Eyes Ethnic Dragon 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Truth_Sellah_SeekahBrown Eyes Ethnic Dragon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]bigmonsterbitch 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]xxCrabMasterxx 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]razormachineI Am A Strong Independent Man Who Don't Need No Woman 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dulce__CriaturaMy Stacy's Stacy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Dulce__CriaturaMy Stacy's Stacy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]NarniaFox -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SollyMcsollsLost in space -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Truth_Sellah_SeekahBrown Eyes Ethnic Dragon 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ppdebateismental 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]bigmonsterbitch 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Ppdebateismental 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Ppdebateismental 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]bigmonsterbitch -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]bigmonsterbitch -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DrinkItInMan11Red Pill Man 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsWrrrYyYy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]gimpgirl555Pick Me 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]DworkinPill🎠 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]cautionTomorrow555 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link

[–]LalaTheSecondPumpkin Spice Pill 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]E-2-buteneProfessional Nice Guy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]John_OakmanLVM advocate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]CFinCanada 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]the-lone-squidSquid 2020 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]razormachineI Am A Strong Independent Man Who Don't Need No Woman 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]343_peaches_and_teaNo Pill 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]razormachineI Am A Strong Independent Man Who Don't Need No Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]razormachineI Am A Strong Independent Man Who Don't Need No Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]LetsDelveIntoIt1Purple Pill Woman 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]razormachineI Am A Strong Independent Man Who Don't Need No Woman 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]LetsDelveIntoIt1Purple Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]huhwhatokokReluctant Fatty Slayer, Eager Fatty Shamer 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsWrrrYyYy 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]John_OakmanLVM advocate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]chilikettlechipsWrrrYyYy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]John_OakmanLVM advocate 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]EcocavalryShort bald janitor 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Mark_FreedProfessor Pill -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]januaryphilosopherBlue Pill Woman 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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masturbate to them secretly

The reason for it being a secret is to avoid causing them discomfort. I don't think shame applies here. None of the guys who said this here really has feelings of guilt or shame.

Sex is a great thing, being able to masturbate, pleasure oneself, appreciate the beauty of someone else... the only people who struggle with these feelings of shame are usually sex negative folk due to religion or something.

My mom is a vegetarian and I eat non veg food without her knowing. Am I ashamed? I just avoid hurting her. Shame is a feeling when you are doing something you feel you should not be doing or is wrong.

It is a circular argument if you try to say something is wrong because it makes you feel shame. It has to be wrong first in order to feel shame at all. If your basis for it being immoral is that secrecy is wrong, then I can argue against that.

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When I've been between real jobs I've worked as a substitute teacher. I discovered that the worse the district the more they pay their subs. Back in 2005 I was getting between $130 to $210 per day -- some of those days being as short as three and a half hours. I did have a knife pulled on me once but I just took it away from the kid.

I figured out how to game one big district's automated sub-finder system. I'd check the system at about 7:00 pm -- if there were only a few subs needed for the next day I'd chose one of the high school slots because those were the easiest and had the highest probability of getting an extra $45 for covering another teacher's class during a prep period. If there were lots of subs needed the next day I knew they couldn't fill them all so I waited until school had already started the next and then picked up an open slot. As long as I arrived before the end of the second period I got paid for the entire day.

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Run on sentence, 0/10. No marks.

Women dont know how to orgasm during sex,

why don't they know?

women are too ashamed to bring it up to their partners,

Why's it not important enough to bring up then?

women will often lie and say sex was great when they never orgasmed leaving men to feel like they did nothing wrong,

womans orgasms are an inherently hard concept for people without vaginas,

men who have difficulty getting sex in the first place are going to have a harder time learning how to please a woman,

Why are you blaming men?

and then there's the general cowl of shame and embarassment that drapes over sex conversation in general, limiting the flow of information.

Why don't you just be confident? If you were more confident none of your problems would happen. You seem insecure, I bet that's why you have issues. So you're entitled to nothing.

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Most of the time women need to find out how they orgasm via trial and error , self driven, on their own

then teach their men what they need to do to replicate it.

I wasn't able to uncover that by having my man direct that

he doesn't know what feels good or what doesn't in my body.

The act of first trying, then figuring it out yourself,

then teaching your guy, then having him figure it out too,

Connect the dots for me how this communicates "it's my man's responsibility and I can only find pleasure through a man"?

Reality - I can make myself orgasm with the same type of clitoral stimulation I perform to myself while having sex, but instead of actual penetration I intensely visualize penetration. I even visualize dual penetration during sex and squeeze my ass and vaginal muscles as I see fit to get the orgasm to go. I self-direct my orgasm much more than my man does. I'm basically entirely responsible for my own orgasm, my man is just responsible for listening to my directions and trying those positions, angles, speeds etc in future rounds. I still have to show up and get everything else "right".

I'm really unsure how you think I think it's a man's responsibility and I can only find pleasure via him. My own orgasms by myself take muuuch longer but as a result are usually far more intense. 🤤 The reason I like orgasming with my man is that he gets a rush from making me squirm with delight. The reason I like teaching my man is because he cares about my pleasure and wants me to enjoy sex with him. Please reread my post and tell me what I said that makes you think what you think I said.

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Deliberate or not I’m not a flesh light and won’t be treated as such

You're trying not to say it's deliberate but you're still indicating some kind of poor behavior or fault on the guy for failing to please you. He's apprently "treating you like a fleshlight."

It's 100% okay for you to stop an encounter whenever you feel the need to, to stop sleeping with a guy that can't please you, to have standards and expectations for intimate partners. None of that is a problem.

What is a problem is this blanket attitude you have of a guy always being morally in the wrong if he doesn't make you cum. I can agree with your view in the case of your boyfriend, where he just gets his and then shows no interest in pleasing you, sure, he's being selfish, lazy and a bad lover. He's "treating you like a fleshlight" as you say.

But if a dude is trying to please you and can't figure it out, or cums without being able to give you yours as quickly as you'd like, that doesn't make him the bad guy, or lazy or using you like a toy.

In fact, this explicit attitude of "make me cum or I drop you" is, ironically, you doing exactly what you accuse men of doing: Treating people like objects for your pleasure. Getting rid of them if they don't work.

The best sex, imo, develops from being able to have fun, be intimate and open to each other, and to really learn how to please each other (which probably means mistakes will be made.) Treating it like a driving exam with moral implications for failing kills that entire mood, and is the toxic source behind of a lot of sexual problems like anxiety, dysfunction, frustration, shame, dead bedrooms and (surprise!) not being able to achieve orgasm.

Believe it or not, there are cases where men don't cum either. I've never cum to a blowjob, for example. But rather than immediately holding the girl in contempt, I try and appreciate her effort, maybe try something else, and if I'm still not feeling it and decide to stop, don't hold it against her as if she's wronged me just because I didn't cum.

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[–]HinduProphet 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link

There is a hypothesis regarding why women like physically attractive men. It's called "The sexy son hypothesis". They want these men to impregnate them so that they can get a sexy son too and can then very easily spread their genes far and wide compared to women having unattractive sons or daughters (because daughters have limits to fertility).

This hypothesis makes, sense but "The sexy daughter" hypothesis actually makes even more sense. The hypothesis states that women chase attractive men because they want to give them sexy daughters who can easily bear children and survive childbirth. Since most men can easily impregnate women it doesn't actually make much difference if your son is ugly if he is successful enough. Whereas your daughter may die in childbirth despite being successful if she doesn't really have the genes to make it easier to have children (Broad Hips for example). This is also one of the explanations given by the Greater Male Variability Hypothesis. Less variation in women exist because their biology doesn't want them to be bad at childbirth, which just requires few changes in genes and traits. Another reason is the actual purpose why males exist in the first place and partheogenesis is not very common. Males exist to provide fitness against diseases and it would be actually daughters not sons who would make the most optimum utilization of the fitness genes given to her by her father since pregnancy requires more immunity and they pass off their antibodies to their children, which men cannot. Women also have better immunity anyways.

Also, considering the fact that attractive people are more likely to have daughters than sons, on average and attractive men have more daughters whereas wealthy men have more sons. This seems like a far more plausible hypothesis.

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[–]7SovarN 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago* (9 children) | Copy Link

I felt red dead redemption 2 was the game I wanted to scratch that "open world western" game, but it had one flaw that broke immersion for me and made me stop playing (and it wasn't rockstars political commentary...). The day-night cycle was simply way too quick, they have a 1:1 irl second to in-game minute ratio, which means 60 seconds in real life is 60 minutes of in-game time. This would constantly break immersion: Ride to town from camp that takes 5 minutes irl? 5 hours have passed in-game. Go into a store and browse for 7 minutes irl? 7 hours passed in-game. Want to climb those rocks over there to catch the sunset? Took you 2 and a half minutes, so sunset is long gone and it's now middle of the night. Play a poker game for 20 minutes? That's your character sitting and playing a poker game for 20 hours straight.

In an open world game, especially a western where you want to really soak in the environment and "trot slowly into the sunset", this is pretty brutal on the immersion breaking, even kingdom come has a day-night cycle where 24 hours in-game is atleast 96 minutes irl, and even that is kinda quick.

The point of all this rambling is that I've actually found out you can mod rdr2, and there is a mod for adjusting the in-game time ratio! So I'm gonna try it and see if I can't get back to being a frontiersman/cowboy again.

Edit: Looked into it, I was wrong, it's actually 2 seconds per minute, so one hour i 120 seconds.

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It's so hard to share my crippling sense of romantic loneliness with close friends... The discussion very quickly devolves into "The right one will come along" "Once you stop looking-" "Everyone is lonely" and proceed to kiss their SO that they take for granted infront of me. Not a single person I've met who preaches the "Love yourself first" cliché has ever had to love themselves as a requirement to enter a relationship. Entering your late 20s with career success, money, being fit, really investing myself in my crafts like a monk in between expanding my friend group - Still being this utterly alone one begins to wonder if there's something wrong with them.

I've spent years really focusing on myself, meeting people, doing what I love etc. But after a while... You stop feeling real. You stop feeling like you can really share these things in a truly intimate way with anyone. As your friends around, the rich, the poor, alcoholics even, fall in love and come into intimacy with ease really starts to weigh on you psychologically. I've tried dating apps as well with even less success despite some female friends (Who supposedly are surprised I am perpetually rejected) to sort through my photos and edit my bio etc. I've been ghosted and or stood up over 15 times this year - Feeling now that I'm really not worthy of love and will never find it.

I can't bear seeing my friends cuddling anymore, it's too much of a mirror as to what I don't have and I can't take it anymore.

[–]ex_red_black_piller 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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Entering your late 20s with career success, money, being fit, really investing myself in my crafts like a monk in between expanding my friend group - Still being this utterly alone one begins to wonder if there's something wrong with them.

Work yourself to the bone improving and then being told it is not good enough to date even average level women is mind shattering for me. Why did I spend all those years doing that if it has had zero payoff?

I've spent years really focusing on myself, meeting people, doing what I love etc. But after a while... You stop feeling real. You stop feeling like you can really share these things in a truly intimate way with anyone.

It has been so long since I last lived with a girlfriend I don't know if I could even tolerate it at this point and I don't even know if I am capable of feeling loved or loving anymore.

I've tried dating apps as well with even less success despite some female friends (Who supposedly are surprised I am perpetually rejected) to sort through my photos and edit my bio etc. I've been ghosted and or stood up over 15 times this year - Feeling now that I'm really not worthy of love and will never find it.

That was always a fun experience ask my women friends to help because they kept saying statements you are such a nice guy with a good job why are you single they spend a day or two before angrily giving up in frustration, but would never admit it is women that are the problem because that would mean betraying the sisterhood.

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[–]figuringMylife8 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

i want a husband but are women doing men a favor by having their kids?

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sex096/how_can_single_women_be_happier_than_married_women/hunf17z/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

i kinda used to think it was 100% good to have a man, being raised in a 2 parent household. now that i think about it, if a woman wants to just plan a visit to the sperm bank and makes enough money. women typically have very supportive friends and family members. what are the benefits of having a husband?

edit: good husbands are a rarity, ig that’s the real answer. most men are probably terrible husbands that bring nothing except money and disciplinary actions/guidance for kids into the marriage. but this is not men’s fault, men have never needed to be good husbands before modern times. i still love men and want a husband but most women are better off alone.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sfioe8/daily_community_chat_megathread/huqkyoi/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3

[–]CFinCanada8 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

For me it's the opposite.

I can see the benefits of having a husband, but can't see how women benefit in any way, shape or form from giving a man kids, especially more than 1. It's obviously good for the man and society, but the woman becomes a sort of sacrificial lamb. It's not for her benefit, that's for sure.

She gets lower income and a career penalty, has to work an extra job basically for no pay, loses all her RMV and gets shit on by men for being a single mom if the relationship goes downhill, her man becomes more likely to cheat on her, they actually resent their wives for giving them kids. That's not even speaking to the issues that come from pregnancy itself.

I have no idea why women do it. Lack of logic and easily susceptible to outside pressure/lack a backbone and strong sense of self, I would assume.

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Maslow's hierarchy of needs suggests a genuine need for love; being validated as a sexual human being, one worthy of love, compassion, and devotion, is something necessary for both men and women, observable in women especially. We're humans, not perfectly rational robots that if you were to amalgamate us and apparently equivalent substitutes, like a dildo for sexual needs and friends for emotional needs, we'll be happy.

While I don't believe men nowadays play nearly enough of a role in childrearing (with the same trend arising amongst women) due to the 9-5, there's no reason to presume that leadership amongst peers is interchangeable with proper leadership and discipline of one's own children. If that were the case, mathematically we would have become extinct, and, there are plenty of business leaders that neglect their families, leading to divorce.

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Ok, let's talk about the merits.

If I'm reading this right, this study seems to lump together single gays/lesbians, gays and lesbian couples that raised a child from birth or adoption, and gays/lesbians that had a kid with a heterosexual person then raised them in a same-sex household.

The most honest comparison, I feel, would be to compare only gay couples who raised a child from birth or early adoption, to heterosexual couples in the same scenario (and where the heterosexuals conceieved intentionally).

This is also the #1 methodological criticism that I saw when I googled Regnerus. If I'm to believe the press, his colleagues in the field, and major professional organizations, this is a bit of a habit of his across multiple works of research.

I'm also not sure why you're bringing up DV rates here as if it's a foregone conclusion. Law enforcement families are rife with abuse (something like 40% last I checked), and I see no evidence that children of LEOs are worse off on average.

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Male and female parenting styles differ in general. Kids need role models to relate to and ideally those models are the birth parents. If one is missing, kids will have hard time to find a suitable one. Also ideally you selected a "good man" to be a father, hence the role model is pre selected. If the kid have to find one for himself/herself there is no guarantee that they will find someone you would approve of or someone with good qualities.

Generally, kids in single parent households face far more challenges in life compared to their peers, raised in a nuclear family. And kids are the best off when one parent is present, 24/7 in their most significant years, instead of being shoved into daycare.

To have a husband from a woman's standpoint.. Well it depends. If he is not a reliability, then it can be a great addition to your life. You do not "need" one ifcyou have enough money and reliable friends - as you say - but it can be good to have a good one. This is true for all genders IMO.

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[–]Notsonewguy72 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

Yes.

Modern world men and women don't need each other the relationship is based off of novelty not necessity.

In the past a woman needed a man because she needed someone that make money or protector but we have guns in a modern world and most of them are easier enough to use that even a woman who's 90 pounds can use most firearms some are probably going to be very difficult just from a recall perspective. That in the majority of women in the modern era work.

And in the past a man needed to be married to prove that he was responsible and that he was mature but we've kind of moved past that. I still think we have some work to do on that assuming that because of man single things are responsible or not mature but I think we're moving in the right direction especially given the acceptance of the LGBT community amongst the general population the idea of a man being straight but just not having relationship shouldn't be that difficult to process if two men can be in a relationship

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[–]livs4dietdrpepperValidation Seeker 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (49 children) | Copy Link

Men really fucking amaze me

so this guy at work asked me out a few days ago, he’s notorious for being a misogynist and is just plain mean. He’s one of those guys that “high intelligence” means he can be a dick to everyone

Anyway I said no, and told him pretty much that in a nicer way, that I didn’t like the way he’s treated me and other women in the past

He sent me a novel long text about how it was all an act because he was insecure and that he loved how kind and sweet I was and I offered to text with him and see how it goes

Anyway I walk into work yesterday and see our boss (his good friend and mine as well) and he says this coworker told me you’re interested in him….I explained the situation and he says “wow that’s not what he told me, he said youre sexy, you were exactly his type physically but too dumb to ever make it work”

So yeah……he proceeds to text me last night all lovey dovey….I can’t deal with these men

Should I call him out?

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[–]ahandtoyourdarknessx7 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

I’ve decided to apply red pill beliefs (self improvement) to focusing on my relationship. Hearing about the men and women here makes me realize how truly awful everyone is and how I’m fortunate to have found someone that is kind and forgiving.

By all accounts, I would be considered a LVM by FDS standards, however I know deep down I have a lot of love to give and I care for my partner deeply.

Yes, I’ve been unfaithful. I had a realization the other day. Imagine if I had caught her sexting and hanging out with other guys as much as she has caught me doing the same. How could I ever trust her.

I know from my perspective it didn’t mean anything, I was just chasing validation to prove to myself I am lovable, but I would be caught literally every year at least once.

And yet she stood by me, she forgave me, and I went and did it again.

So, as we enter this new phase in our relationship it’s all for her. I am going to focus every ounce of attention and affection on showing her how much she means to me.

I found a good woman. Now I have to be a better man

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I was just chasing validation to prove to myself I am lovable

Why wasn't your good gf proof enough that you are lovable? What's the point of seeking validation from random thots (who probably dgaf about you) when you already have someone special who's actually worthwhile? Then the dudes here wonder why chicks get radicalized in FDS. I am concerned for your gf; she sounds like the type prone to be a doormat and I hope she has come to know her worth enough to not tolerate this if you do it again.

I have to be a better man

On this you are completely right and it's great that you're beginning to realize the error of your ways. Don't F this up any more than you already have. And steer clear of bitter ideologies such as TRP; self-improvement is better done without those getting in the way of it.

<sup>Hopefully my tone doesn't come across as too blunt; that tends to happen sometimes. But I am all for redemption, so I wish you the best in self-improvement!</sup>

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I find the idea of sperm banks to be fundamentally revolting. Giving your jizz to some facility so that some anonymous woman can get inseminated without her knowing who donated the jizz, instead of doing it the standard way (in case of single women), and in case couples with infertile man it's something akin to cuckoldry. I know that there is no ill intent here, but the whole thing just feels wrong.

And the 2nd thing is that it's a full blown eugenics program even though eugenics was supposed to be the ultra evil thing that only nazis do (I know that it was pioneered by US before the war, but that's beside the point). Like, a woman goes into the bank and says "hey, I want my child to have 6'5" aryan father with blue eyes or perhaps I want some exotic sperm of dark-skin habibi, so that I can design a perfectly crafted offspring with very specific physical traits".

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you can easily argue it.

you're selecting higher iq than your partners. and then you're selecting higher height than your partner. that's focused selection of traits.

6/6/6 is slightly above average too in each category depending on your location. but only 1% of men have all three.

flip a coin 5 times and get 5 heads to simulate above average in each category. that's 3% of men.

If you're selecting 5 categories to be slightly above average, you're ruling out 97% of all men. That's extreme focus, from a statistical point of view.

You're thinking "slightly above average" isn't really focused statistical eugenics. You're thinking tons of men are slightly above average. This is the same argument that women make who prefer 6/6/6 or some variation, even variations where there are statistically about zero men that meet those standards in a large metro area such as new york city.

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Title	Daily Community Chat Megathread
Author	AutoModerator
Upvotes	14
Comments	1461
Date	January 29, 2022 2:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/sfioe8/daily_community_chat_megathread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/daily-community-chat-megathread.1099093 https://theredarchive.com/post/1099093

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