What is an average guy?

subgamer89 · 2022-05-05T02:57:39+00:00

The average dude makes like 45k a year in a job he hates, is slightly overweight with mediocre game. Spends most of his free time watching TV, playing games or drinking beer. Can date average women if meeting through friends, if cold approaching or using tinder he must play the numbers game with hundreds of approaches/swipes.

jah-roole · 2022-05-04T21:30:16+00:00

And average male on Reddit is significantly below average in real life. This is obvious by the posts and responses.

EugeneCezanne · 2022-05-04T19:26:03+00:00

I also agree that the average guy is better off than this sub tends to believe. I believe this sub oversamples discontents. Men with something to gripe about are more likely to come to a place like this to gripe and analyze than men who are doing somewhere within the range of "fine, I guess."

ThumpingBump · 2022-05-04T19:08:13+00:00

Most just give up or rely on luck after they turn 25, alot of them just don't feel the efforts worth anymore.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-05-05T01:17:10+00:00

What is 'average'? And what is 'doing OK'? The 50th Percentile guy in terms of relationship/sexual market value can most definitely marry and start a family. Does he get a 50th percentile woman? Above? Below? How far above/below? What does his path to marriage look like? How does he do in high school? In college? In his twenties?

And then once married, at what age? How is his sex life? Does his wife divorce him in her 40s? Does he get shared custody? Does he want it? Etc.

EntertainerUseful408 · 2022-05-04T19:22:50+00:00

Average men all around me have girlfriends or wives. I really doubt most men here who claim they're average are really average. Most men here are probably in the bottom 20% looks wise or just have really weird off-putting personalities especially the redpillers.

I know I'm going to be hounded for saying this but most guys here need to take an honest look at their lives and not blame women for every failure of theirs.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-05-04T19:23:39+00:00

I think most dudes think they are “the average guy” or maybe a little above average (but not Male Model or anything). So whatever is going on with them MUST be what every other dude is going through, right?!

So the dudes that are struggling are like “oh my God: it’s an epidemic” and the guys not struggling are like “what’s these dudes’ problems?” And that might make it hard for each side to relate.

stats135 · 2022-05-04T19:24:24+00:00

average male is struggling significantly

Conversations with undefined terms a fairly meaningless. What criteria are we using to evaluate if someone is struggling or not?

We live in a society where the richest 20% owns 80% of all value, and the average man needs to sell himself into corporate slavery for 40 hours a week, almost every week, for 40-50 years. Given this information I would say the average man struggles to acquire wealth. Of course some might argue having a job is enough and unemployment hovers 5% so the average man isn't struggling at all.

The same goes with sex and dating. The top 20% have 80% of all sexual value. The average man has to invest enormous amounts of time/money/energy to get a fraction of the sexual value the top 20% get. I would call that struggling. I guess others might say just having a girlfriend or wife at some point means you aren't really struggling.

Quealpedoestoy · 2022-05-05T03:25:41+00:00

Im 180cm, 75Kg fit, white, finishing a post graduate, living by myself and with an top 85 percentile salary in my country and I strugle with dating, specially with OLD.

What women think the average man is, its complete bullshit.

subgamer89 · 2022-05-05T02:48:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-05-04T21:35:06+00:00

under 6 feet, under 6 figures, only average face, low body count. 80-90% of guys

KirthWGersen · 2022-05-04T20:02:08+00:00

Black pill guys think the average man struggles even to get a date. They think the whole world is against them. They catastrophise. They cling on to 80/20 statistics. And they ignore the evidence of their own eyes. It is easier to see yourself as a victim than take responsibility for your own happiness.

Everyone else knows that while the average guy may find it harder than the average woman to get casual sex or a girlfriend, it really isn't all that hard.

I have every sympathy for the disfigured and the troubled. But the average guy does just fine.

daybyday0 · 2022-05-04T19:06:30+00:00

I agree. Most guys around me are not struggling and they're average in my eyes.

Ziogatto · 2022-05-04T19:15:19+00:00

Thank you for your opinions, personal experiences and anectodes.

Here are some statistics.

https://i.imgur.com/L9Vu4Zo.png

ParmenidesNuts · 2022-05-04T19:11:50+00:00

I think what happens is that on Reddit people’s hidden insecurities are inflated, so while the average guy is not completely unable to ever get a date, he does have a little bit of concern about, say, the gender imbalance on dating apps (if he uses them). While the average guy probably has a decent enough social life, they probably do feel a bit insecure about the emotional quality of their friendships. Reddit just inflates everything.

DerekMorganBAU · 2022-05-04T19:54:05+00:00

The problem isn’t IF the average guy can find a woman or an LTR or a hook up.

It’s the QUALITY that the average guy can pull and the EFFORT involved.

We know the average woman can put in significantly less effort to get with a guy a step or two above her.

The average man can’t unless he “gets lucky” (hence the term and notice how women don’t say that) or puts in more effort than it’s worth for….a woman that let OTHER men get her pussy easier and cheaper? And to be their second or third choice?

I dont even like to get into all of this cause it sounds doom and gloom and having tight game and a personable personality can overcome a lot and make it easier as men, but the truth is the truth.

The average guy is getting sloppy seconds from the next man but he holds on to her because who knows when the next of Chad’s sloppy seconds gets recycled to him.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-05-04T19:14:20+00:00

5'9.5, 180lbs, kinda skinny-fat, makes 45k, norwood 2.5 hair, brown hair, white

In the west

figuringMylife · 2022-05-04T21:01:00+00:00

the men here that can’t find dates either aren’t trying or they’re not the average they think they are. we’ve had a couple of threads on what average/median people are.

a man is usually: 5’9, NPC face, $40-50k salary, chubby (25-30% bodyfat), meh personality, meh confidence, just okay all around. probably has some stereotypical hobbies.

these men are capable of being successful. but also men think just because they sound better than this on paper they’re average or above average themselves, but this means nothing because any character trait or looks can be compensated for or overlooked when women genuinely like you, for whatever reason that may be

MrMushySauce · 2022-05-04T21:21:43+00:00

I am by no means an expert on this subject, but I'll do my best to weigh in lol

Average guy:

- 25 years old (mid-dating age for true "life-long connection" type stuff, basically)

- 5'10"

- Doesn't lift but isn't fat

- 50k/year

- Lives in Charlotte NC (or similar city)

- Maybe working on some small side-project, not the most dedicated to it

- One non-monetary hobby... coin-flip if it's somewhat "attractive" (basketball league) or unattractive (video games)

- Had a GF at 16 but split after 3 months. Had a GF at 21 but broke up after college. Has had a FWB or 2 and ~3 ONSs. Will meet his wife soon, maybe divorce in 10 years after a 7-year marriage, maybe not

- Saving to buy a home he'll get in his mid-30s

- Has a vice... maybe drinking or drugs, maybe gambling, maybe porn

- White... sorry, the country is still majority white

- Not funny at all.

- A little prone to jealousy or anger, misunderstands women a lot

Might be missing some

Bouldershoulders12 · 2022-05-04T21:58:17+00:00

5’9

198 pounds

40 inch waist

40-45k a year ($20-22 an hour)

7 lifetime sex partners

These are all the nationwide averages so can’t argue here

With that said it doesn’t take too much work to be above average. Most people just don’t do it

drew8311 · 2022-05-04T22:15:12+00:00

Average is really guys in the 20-80% category which will have a huge variation. I agree a true average 50% guy isn't doing that bad but ones on the lower end of that can struggle more. They probably can get dates on apps but it doesn't come easy but not as bleak as some here describe.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2022-05-04T22:32:38+00:00

An average guy is someone in the middle of the road. Hes not heavily chiseled with muscles and that jawline, the whole Chad style. Hes also not completely obese on the BMI scale. Doesn't make a lot of money, say just under $90k. Drives a decent car, or maybe a hooptie to save some money. He might have gotten laid once or twice in high school, and got lucky with a few flings in college or in his early 20's. Didn't have the confidence to pull those girls who are 8/10 or higher, and felt he had a better chance with women who were a little overweight. Probably had a relationship with one or two girls so far, but would be ignored by the girls he wanted bc he felt intimidated by them, whether or not they had a bf or just felt that he wasn't their type. Maybe goes to the gym 3~4 times a week bc he wants to have abs, despite his diet isn't the best. He searches new ways to look better by spending money on clothes and accessories. If he is still single by the tine he reaches 30, then he will finally reach that balance where he will feel more comfortable with his life.

100onswag · 2022-05-05T00:01:33+00:00

I have traits that make me high value and I also have some that make me extremely average and I’ve never had trouble getting women. I believe it it comes down to confidence and personality, as to why “average” guys are claiming they can’t get women. I’ve seen 10/10 Chads lose out on women because they lack in these 2 areas (not confident….and personality wise they could be unfunny, weird, rude, entitled…just shit they need to work on) and I’ve seen average guys pull 8’s and 9’s because they do extremely well in these areas.

A mistake I’ve noticed “average” guys make is listening exactly to what women say they want out of a man/long term partner. In general women are irrational and have no idea what they want or know what’s best for them relationship wise, so don’t take ANYTHING they say in regards to dating at face value. They’ll say they want A,B,C out of a man but end up with the guy who provides X,YZ. It’s typically “average” guys that harp on this constant contradiction and become very frustrated, resulting in issues with attracting/dating women. The disdain reeks. Learn to not get upset…..it truly is what it is….work on your game….work on your confidence and personality……and remember you don’t ask a fish how to catch a fish!

Another thing I notice “average” guys harp on is rejection. It’s just a part of life as a man and you have to learn to deal with it. You can’t play this game unless you are willing to lose. If one girl rejects you go speak to the next, even hotter girl. There are 8 billion people in this world….there is always somebody that’s next!

I mean what’s really special about her? At the end of the day she just has a piece of flesh between her legs that has a hole in it, and if she doesn’t wash it, it stinks. It sounds cruel but this is reality and the mindset you need going in to be impervious to rejection. It has always worked for me. However……….If every single woman you have ever spoken to rejects you, you need to step back and re-evaluate. Something is most likely wrong with you and it’s most likely the things I’ve said above.

FoxCQC · 2022-05-05T00:40:30+00:00

It's too subjective to pin down. It means something different for every person.

squeamish · 2022-05-05T03:34:59+00:00

They all lead ordinary average lives.

With average kids,

And average wives.

They all go bowling at the bowling lanes,

Drink a few beers,

Bowl a few frames.

They're just ordinary average guys.

BayleShira · 2022-05-04T22:36:57+00:00

I agree. I think that a lot of RP is anecdotal accounts that can never be accounted for. There's a lot of "women say this" and "women do that" but it's really just stories these dudes are telling each other - there's no actual woman involved. It's just like with the "short guys" trope, and how they think you can do all these things to fix your physical attractiveness, but if you are short, you're screwed.
My husband is short. He had four very serious relationships, dated from his teenage years until he and I married when he was 24. Women still hit on him constantly.
I have only heard one woman ever make a genuine comment about his height, and it was one of my extremely shallow high school friends. She said he was "too short and too fat" and I should not date him. We still laugh at the absurdity of it all.

When all this struggle is being relayed, it seems to be a lot of pity-party experiences that stem from the person throwing the party. It's not hard to read between the lines and see that the person complaining is genuinely very unpleasant. It's the same with my shallow friend; she struggled a lot with bad relationships, because when it came to dating, she was bitchy and unpleasant.

2022-05-04T19:47:26+00:00

Red Pillers have no clue what average is because they base their entire view of what a man should be like on the "Virgin vs. Chad" meme without even realizing that the meme is ironic and the Virgin is actually the one acting normal while the Chad, the Thad and the Lad are all increasingly bizarre caricatures of human behavior.

Duke_thiccus · 2022-05-04T19:08:05+00:00

A thing to be hated if you're asking most women

chalkandapples · 2022-05-04T19:53:06+00:00

I'm not going to be able to be objective on this. The average guy I see isn't going to be the average guy. There's always going to be bias. But to me I don't think the average guy struggles this much with dating. Yes they chase and put in effort, and gets rejected a couple of times. But most of them end up living a normal life with a wife and kids.

aidenpearce55 · 2022-05-04T19:19:34+00:00

The average man is a beaten down shell, working all day to bring home the bacon to a fat wife who cheats and teaches his kids to disrespect him. He's lost his own pride and self-respect so long ago that desiring something better doesn't even occur to him anymore.

sabiinvesting · 2022-05-04T19:10:26+00:00

Anyone can find a partner if they lower their standards enough.

You've got to use some sort of metrics to determine what average is; height, weight, salary, so on.

Average height and weight I think is close to 5'9" 200lbs.

I think the average salary is around 50k.

Having said that, it's hard to determine what is average for social skills and confidence.

learn2earn89 · 2022-05-04T19:47:17+00:00

The men I work with (blue collar job) don’t have trouble with women at all. Most are married by now but usually had girlfriends in their early 20s. The only possible incel I know is a guy who has a bit of social awkwardness and is below avg in looks.

sctbrkr · 2022-05-04T22:24:49+00:00

Beyond quantifiable measurements (e.g., height, body-fat, net worth, etc.), we can really only rely on heuristics.

For example, the average man is surprised when a stranger approaches him first, yet it isn't completely outside the realm of possibility. Here, we don't mean the literal middle, but maybe the 35-65% range, aka something close to one standard deviation.

Truly non-average men are rarely observable in day to day lives. Homeless people and prisoners aren't entered into one's mind when considering average. If you're in a high-status profession, it's possible your perception is skewed. For example, guess what the average male income is in the city you live in, then search it up and see if you got remotely close to it.

PseudoIhminen · 2022-05-05T05:08:40+00:00

It's better to be kinda average but with a normal personality, than to be above average in many things but then have some kind of mental disorder.

noafrochamplusamurai · 2022-05-04T19:53:47+00:00

Average guys aren't having a hard time finding women. It's the self entitled guys. The guys with poor personalities, the guys with terrible social skills. These guys are the ones that are losing in the dating game. They're just over represented on this sub, and reddit in general. SM is not indicative of real life, never has been, never will be.

AutoModerator · 2022-05-04T19:01:21+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ilaissezfaire · 2022-05-05T03:24:34+00:00

Average men have average values. Chauvinistic. Doesn't have integrity. Doesn't consider anyone's feelings but their own usually. Pretty small minded. Doesn't consider other viewpoints, and probably lies to avoid responsibility.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-05-04T19:50:22+00:00

there is no such thing it is a stupid concept incels use to whine

Saltyskateboarder · 2022-05-04T19:40:57+00:00

I think looks wise I'm average, could improve here and there. But my personality is definitely autistic 🤣. Like I genuinely think something is up with me.

Slitelohel · 2022-05-04T19:44:52+00:00

Im average, maybe slightly above in some areas.

Karmanger · 2022-05-04T19:54:46+00:00

The average man is struggling to get his first choice in looks for dating. He can get a date but she will most likely be over weight and a mismatch from his perspective.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-05-04T19:56:14+00:00

MEDIAN!

You can't date an average person, you can date a median person LOL. It's like saying people should have 2.1 kids, where's the .1 come from?

cvslengthbucketlist · 2022-05-04T19:57:42+00:00

You can struggle in dating as an average (or "normal") guy if you don't meet anyone who fits your standards either looks, personality, or interest-wise. Or don't have the time to meet people. Simple as that.

Lack of success is a two-way street in terms of compatibility, and effort is only part of the equation. Sure anyone can probably find A date or A partner, but how meaningful is dating success if you end up settling or compromising out of fear of being alone?

(Also people will often under-rate themselves either out of humility or lack of self-esteem or to prove a point. "I'm no male model, in fact I'm pretty damn average. But I managed to get my gf and she's wayyy out of my league!")

rivetcitymayor · 2022-05-04T19:58:16+00:00

Jeff bezos is average

Rushbyb · 2022-05-04T20:11:33+00:00

like who wants to be average? I want to be the bull.

humdf · 2022-05-04T20:11:53+00:00

Homer Simpson

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-05-04T20:17:08+00:00

I do think there's validity on both ends. I think guys who say they're average are usually slightly below average and that average men do have trouble dating.

SabrineYasmine · 2022-05-04T20:51:00+00:00

The average guy is that guy who is like tge majority ones he is not handsome not beautiful( in fact he is somewhat not attractive) also not muscular and also do not have a body that make women wet and he is not rich as well but he is not in poverty. He has enough income to pay his bills and live alone without luxuries.

The average man is also the guy who complain women are very picky and also complain they do not attract women and women also do not stare nor approach them.

nick1812216 · 2022-05-04T22:00:10+00:00

me going about me day

PPD: “Logically speaking, you’re well below average, probably ugly or boring or something, idk…”

Which is probably true

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-05-04T22:34:16+00:00

Where do you live and what's 'average' about you and 'everyone' you know?

HazyMemory7 · 2022-05-04T23:26:46+00:00

Avg guy does better off of OLD if they put effort in but for the most part if you are average and do well you are probably selling yourself short. Avg man in the US is 5'9, very overweight, and doesn't make a very high income.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-05-05T02:41:39+00:00

I'm an average guy.

tigerstef · 2022-05-05T03:45:06+00:00

So just asking google. In the USA the average man would be:

5'9 in height

197.9lb in weight

36.8 years old

$38,461 in income per year

An overweight, mid-thirties guy on 38k who is 5'9.

social_mule · 2022-05-05T03:59:09+00:00

The average guy in the United States is 5'9" and makes about $50k/year. Looks are subjective but I assume the average black man looks like Anthony Anderson and the average white man looks like Bill Burr .

I agree the average guy is doing okay and can find a date/partner if he tries. I see average men with wives and girlfriends all the time.

Antonija_Blagorodna · 2022-05-05T06:00:55+00:00

The average male in the United States is 5'9'', 198 lbs, has some amount of higher education or vocational training, and has an income of about $39,000/year.

Antonija_Blagorodna · 2022-05-05T06:04:43+00:00

Men on reddit are more likely to be introverted, which can be a huge detriment when it comes to dating. In a literal sense, dating involves interacting with another human being; this can be difficult for an introverted person.

BokkoTheBunny · 2022-05-05T06:08:31+00:00

I have a good face, but I'm overweight, lucky it balances because of my height. 6'3". When I was interested in dating I've had no problems with women as long as I talked to them and let my personality through. Although I must admit I had an easier time with other guys heh.

None of my straight friends have been without a gf for longer than a month or two when they seemed to be looking. Two of them I'd say are average, the other has looks, but doesn't work out just naturally attractive and not fat.

The one that doesn't have a gf is the one that's exclusively at home and only plays games 99% of the time. He's the one that complains about not being able to find a partner. I've pointed out that he never goes out to meet people, but eh. He just blames it on being fat, it doesn't help but really that's only a small part.

I feel lot of online guys fall into that last category and naturally they would gravitate to a community like this one.

zgreg1 · 2022-05-05T07:10:05+00:00

I believe the average guy finds dating easier in Tempe, Arizona or Ann Arbor, Michigan, than in New York City or London. Women are more fearful and guarded, more financially demanding, more overwhelmed with options, more concerned with appearances (comparisons to other women), in large cities.

Snowbattt · 2022-05-05T07:22:17+00:00

It really depends on the playing field. Average men in OLD don't do well. Average men in real life do better.

TheOrangeGhost · 2022-05-05T07:23:23+00:00

Average guy - 5'9" 198 pounds, black/dark brown hair, square or oval face shape.

Average woman - 5'4" 166 pounds, light brown hair, oval or round face shape.

Early_Inspector988 · 2022-05-05T08:14:05+00:00

I think you're average IRL and the people who spend too much time on Reddit (me included sometimes 😂) aren't helping themselves, and honestly only think they're worse than they are, thanks to media and internet advertising.

Aran82 · 2022-05-05T09:15:41+00:00

Cost of living / inflation has rendered above average men average to below average quite quickly. Additionally because college degrees are really abundant now there is nothing to set them apart from everyone else. I got my Masters Degree at a time when even undergraduate degrees were relatively rare. Now I am in amongst people who think it gives them prestige but they just got tricked by the worst capitalist ploy by paying top price for something that is so abundant it has no value and the irony is that they and the institution profess to be socialist. I am on €55,000 pa which was a super salary in Europe ten years ago but now it’s just above average. The bar just keeps getting higher and higher.

gladusgates · 2022-05-05T09:42:56+00:00

I was able to red pill a lot of men around me just by showing them podcasts or quotes that resonate with me personally. Surprise, surprise, the vast majority of them agreed and are now red pill. The reason this was so easy is because most average men share the exact same experiences and difficulties with women.

Yes, the average man CAN find a girlfriend. After many years of singledom, dry spells, girls ghosting etc... they can luck out. Or, they date down. Or, they get in a relationship with a girl on their level and she walks all over them, and they let her because they know they have zero options otherwise.

The "average" man is the bottom 80%.

You can't just say the average man isn't struggling because he got a girlfriend after 5 years of looking. It doesn't take the average woman that long to find one unless she's trying to date way above her level. She isn't going through multiple year dry spells. That's the experience of the average man.

modidlee · 2022-05-05T11:20:22+00:00

I think the average guy is most guys in here. They may be in a relationship. They may have a woman or two they “deal” with. But they’re not actually happy with the situations they find themselves in when it comes to women.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-05-05T13:11:33+00:00

My opinion of an average guy.

Someone with a college degree making around 50-80k, between 5’7” and 5’11”, who doesn’t cat call women, doesn’t stare at women or make rude sexist comments, is respectful to everyone around him, loyal, has at least one interest/hobby, can clean up after himself like an adult, can cook basic food, decent money management.

lectrohS_naisA · 2022-05-05T13:58:20+00:00

I am a below average guy. I thought I was average but meh. 5 foot 6, average $45k/year job, dadbod with a very small penis, acne scars from my teen years, boring solo-focused hobbies, live with my parents still...

Yeah, no hope really.

addarail · 2022-05-05T14:02:00+00:00

With the right priorities in order and personality, the average looking man can find a woman he finds extremely beautiful. Maybe it’s just the men I see on campus , but I feel like it’s usually an ok looking guy with a very beautiful woman.

Woko127 · 2022-05-06T10:53:08+00:00

Dead in the water.

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2022-05-07T00:48:58+00:00

average= literally average 5/10. Makes average salary, etc. How is this so hard to answer?

SherbertAny3239 · 2022-05-08T16:54:28+00:00

Gigga chad

RateMe3456 · 2022-09-28T19:10:02+00:00

Based on what you people are describing, I am not average. I'm ripped, in shape, in college, have multiple hobbies, going to have a good career soon in a couple years, funny, chill, love traveling. The only thing is that I'm black and short, I was told I was good looking but I still don't get shit on dating apps or offline.

So in actuality, an average guy depends on what they how women view average because that's all that matters at the end of the day. And you know their average is considered higher compared to what men would rate as average. Their standards are much higher. Like a 7/10 guy would be considered a 5/10 to 6/10 max to them.

All and all if you're short you're F*CKED and will struggle because you will be considered below average.

Title	What is an average guy?
Author	jawnzoo
Upvotes	77
Comments	424
Date	May 4, 2022 7:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/uidvpi/what_is_an_average_guy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-an-average-guy.1115550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1115550

Comments