Women, what do you think the average man's dating life looks like?

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-08-28T07:30:41+00:00

I find what people think are "average" depends heavily on your social circle

For example there are a couple of very unlucky dudes in mine but Most of the guys I know and hang out with now, the vast majority have had at least 1 - 3 relationships with a couple of flings. Of those who was unlucky: one keeps having flings that never work out into an actual relationship (I've told him I think he might be too intense which can go from exciting to oh shit moving too quickly very fast), one is just quite socially awkward, and the other one gets a match on tinder, psyches himself out and then either ghosts or turns her down because the thought of going on a date freaks him out so much (but he does perfectly well interacting with girls in a platonic setting.)

I did use to hang out with the "nerds" in school and have kept in touch whne I can. And those guys can't score. At all. And honestly, it's probably due to either a lack of social skills and the inability to join groups where they can meet girls.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-08-28T08:51:17+00:00

I talk to a lot of guys regularly from mostly Europe. Usually between the ages of 18-40. The younger ones go out to clubs and bars and try to have some hook-ups to hope they turn into relationship. When they get a little bit older they tend to calm down. Some of them are in relationships. Some aren't. The one that aren't in relationships don't even try. They go to work, come home, play games and chill. The ones in relationships think about kids, have pets, live with their SO and still basically go to work and come home to chill but there is another person there. The ones that are much older tend to orbit around the pretty girl they really want to date but she doesn't want them. They also work and come home to chill.

I think a lot of guys have most of their experience young and then calm down. They are either in relationships or not.

My bf went to a Airsoft meet-up the other month and out of the 30 guys between the ages of 18-35 there were maybe 5 in a relationship. A lot of them say they hope for a nice and chill relationship but usually the ones they were in were too much effort, too many red flags etc so they kinda lost their drive to push for one.

I think the average man is not too fuzzed, because they don't even try anymore. It's a very binary system. They either are in a relationship or they aren't even trying.

Soft-Boysenberry1097 · 2022-08-28T05:37:02+00:00

From what I understand by talking to my male friends, it largely depends on their race.

My white male friends mostly had at least two girlfriends in high school, a few hookups here and there, and at least one girlfriend in college.

My Asian male friends are mostly virgins despite being skinnier, wealthier, and being of higher status families. In fact, they are "redpilled" in those regards.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-08-28T06:01:36+00:00

I’m gonna go a step further. I think it depends largely on where you live what average is and thus your dating success.

In a major metro on one of the coasts? Most of the time you’re cooked if you’re an average man. Somewhere in flyover country that’s less shallow and more down to earth on average? You’re probably fine and if you’re not then you’re not average.

Barneysparky · 2022-08-28T04:13:27+00:00

The average man has a few girlfriends before he meets his wife. He is not out trying to screw strange, he meets someone that he clicks with , dates them, and if it doesn't work out he meets someone else.

MickIsBlue · 2022-08-28T16:18:36+00:00

Average guys that I know personally? A lot of them are single or in gay relationships. Many gave up. I know a lot of nerds.

sarkington · 2022-08-28T06:28:15+00:00

Not enough to fill the void inside him

cohost3 · 2022-08-28T05:18:33+00:00

My guess would be connecting with 1- 5 women before settling down and getting married. Most or all of those women would be commuted relationships.

If he has game he could score hook ups with less attractive women pushing his numbers up.

Edit: I guess the most important thing is what do we define as an average man? I’m going by average build (not fat/not skinny), average height (5’6- 5’10), normal face (nothing special, but no deformities), normal job (able to afford rent, car and some savings), basic social skills (has several normal friends and can at least hold a conversation with a woman)

Bekiala · 2022-08-28T13:36:23+00:00

I would think that men face a lot of rejection and loneliness. Also some men seem to get with women they don't really like as they don't feel they have many options.

The part that I think is probably different for men in dating is they probably don't feel preyed upon so the fear element that is often there for women isn't there for men. Men of course face fear of rejection but not the physical fear the women face.

ToBeFair91 · 2022-08-28T07:01:21+00:00

Average guy has had 1 or 2 LTRs and a couple flings but generally is a bit simpy with women and also is blissfully unaware of rp etc

corporatesandry · 2022-08-28T05:38:37+00:00

I think a lot of below average men cannot accept they are below average and end up projecting their lacking unsuccessful lives onto actually average men.

The average man dates a few women and then settles down and has kids. Drive through your local suburbia to see plain average looking men married w/ kids. Most these men absolutely dated women before getting married. If this seems alien and unthinkable to you, then chances are you’re not average.

jjlew922 · 2022-08-28T05:14:48+00:00

Pretty poor once you get older imho. I think most men think cause manosphere tells them they’ll be banging 20 yr olds at 40+ and reality is really not that or if he’s lucky will score a few but doesn’t cut it for happiness, esp if he’s got kids cause by then he’s matured a bit. I don’t get why men can’t get thru their baggage when they meet the right person. Each of them fucked it up and tried to come back. That’s my experience at least as an over the wall lady (whose had guys 10+ yrs younger ask me out, for context). I think men often desire for companionship, much like us women do. We’re not that different in the end once we come to enlightened consciousness.

anon018274031 · 2022-08-28T07:30:59+00:00

I imagine about the same as my dating life, shit 😂

tinasnow-poty · 2022-08-28T09:54:39+00:00

The average guy my age is probably in a situationship. None of my circle are committal and usually are seeing a girl but will hookup with other girls when they can/want. Not all are particularly good looking and none are taller than 5’10 but they are a very charismatic and charming bunch. I would think the average late 20s guy has had a LTR or two

supershotmd · 2022-08-28T05:16:26+00:00

They have no fucking clue, lol! I think they don't realize how homogenous women's preferences can be. They think they're unique for liking tall, white, handsome-faced men with fit bodies - and surely there are plenty of women with different preferences.

I'm a tall Indian guy and my female friends think I'm cleaning up on Tinder (I'm definitely not). They actually think I could get a one night stand anytime (I've never managed to get that, ever. And in fact I've only had one girlfriend despite being 33 now). Players are really 0.5% of the male population, if that.

2022-08-28T09:56:42+00:00

they look for attractiveness the most

2022-08-28T12:01:29+00:00

The average man’s what???

ruboyuri · 2022-08-28T05:22:03+00:00

Considering the 18-25 year olds I know, fine

TheBluster88 · 2022-08-28T13:16:16+00:00

Idk if I’m average but I didn’t have a girlfriend yet. I have a few female friends but they always hangout wiht me and all until they have a bf

MacLogical · 2022-08-28T08:27:06+00:00

Yes it’s gross and nobody cares they will just think your a smelly crusty kid

DrinkinganOcean · 2022-08-28T14:38:53+00:00

Honestly according to friends , coworkers and people I’ve dated… pretty normal or great. I likely know maybe one or two men who have never had any relationship at all. It’s usually to extenuating circumstances. I have friends if all appearances and such too who have had long term relationships and such. I really haven’t heard of the whole male loneliness and dating struggles until I saw it online. Some guy I dated would vaguely complain about it but literally ended up in a relationship right after we broke up lol.

Also from what I’ve seen it depends on the guy. I’ve known guys who wanted just a pretty girl, some guys like their girls funny and quirky. Others just want a friend they can fuck. It all just kinda depends tbh

learn2earn89 · 2022-08-28T20:15:54+00:00

Date a few women in your late teens, twenties. Settle down with one girl in your late twenties. Both my bros are average and did exactly that. Btw, both of them are 5’5”

Hardc0reWillNeverDie · 2022-08-28T12:18:16+00:00

I think average men think they should be able to have casual sex when they want with who they want and are perpetually unsatisfied. Some of them just want a GF for regular sex. This level of dissatisfaction, this begrudgingly okay I will check out the GF option so I can get my wiener waxed, this oh I could only bang some butterface, some fat chick, some crazy chick off Tinder/ a party/whatever is exactly the reason to avoid them, they resent the GF that they really do not want to be in a relationship with but want regular sex, they resent the not attractive chick they did bang because she was not attractive enough, they resent the attractive woman who won't bang them, they resent the " sluts " who bang other men but not them. Men with this mindset are just to be avoided.

TheDiffer23 · 2022-08-28T06:38:17+00:00

Idk why I follow this subreddit. It’s cringe as fuck. The average dating life of a woman or man is subject to the morals they were raised with, any baggage they carry, and/or where they live. Jesus Christ

johnnyferrera · 2022-08-28T11:03:40+00:00

The problem for the vast majority of men is not that they can't get laid. Most men, average ones especially, get laid sometimes - the problem is that they never possess any control over their sex lives.

ruboyuri · 2022-08-28T15:49:52+00:00

Not like his fantasies, that’s for sure

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-28T09:02:04+00:00

I’ve had several boy-friends and went to school with all guys for years, and I am a woman. I have foreigners friends who had no problem with dating regardless of their looks, like literally were always able to be in a new relationship. Only a guy I could remember who was a close family friend who was not as lucky. He showed autism traits, and his interactions with girls were a bit awkward. I remember I was on my facebook when I saw a girl posting their conversation publicly and yeah not the best. My non-foreigners friends were also able to date although in their case some of them found it easier than the others. The ones that didn’t were a bit more nerdy or mama boys. Although most of them who had girlfriends were average, and didn’t have problems pulling girl on a Saturday evening.

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dumbbitchcas · 2022-08-28T16:52:35+00:00

My regular assumption is a 24 hour fuck fest with 7 other girls. 🤷🏻‍♀️

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-08-29T13:03:58+00:00

I don’t know and I don’t care.

Federal_Bat_5355 · 2022-08-28T18:16:18+00:00

I feel like an average man's dating life is sort of casual? When I was on Tinder, it didn't take much for a man to want to date me which made me feel... I dunno, not very special? I felt like they were just shooting their shot not because they liked me but because they were just trying to get a date with someone. However, that's Tinder and it's hard for men on there from what I hear.

So maybe a man's dating life is a bunch of short term trial and error until something just.. clicks.

(Most of my friends are guys but they rarely ever meet a girl they're into... From what I know, they all haven't dated in years but seem to just focus on themselves.)

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-08-29T07:11:05+00:00

Hell if I know! I don't think about this at all.

MoveFeeling8807 · 2022-08-31T22:42:43+00:00

The avg man is living the Madonna whore complex. Sleeps with tons of women, then when ready looks for a pure virgin to wife or at least procreate with. This cognitive dissonance is the cause of many men's dating issues.

Title	Women, what do you think the average man's dating life looks like?
Author	MickIsBlue
Upvotes	139
Comments	253
Date	August 28, 2022 3:57 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wzlwi6/women_what_do_you_think_the_average_mans_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-what-do-you-think-the-average-mans-dating.1131046 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131046

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