Are women the primary motivator in most men's lives?

Many_Dig_2782 · 2024-01-21T11:45:12+00:00

No. That’s some shit you see here, but most men purchase an apartment to have shelter, dogs and cats for companions/responsibilities/ warhammer 40k figures for themselves, lift and run for their fitness, etc

There are a non insignificant amount of men who do self improve for women but once you learn that women come and go you figure to do things for yourself. Like you’ve said NEETs are nothing new but not being a NEET is not dedicating your life to women

Family for example is a much bigger motivation.

aleexownz · 2024-01-21T11:43:41+00:00

OP are you saying the Japanese hikikomori are result of being redpilled? I thought it was other factors like being overworked and overall unhappiness.

Gitsumrestmf · 2024-01-21T11:43:26+00:00

Most? No. Many, especially among teens? Probably. But it's more complicated than just it being about women. I mean, modern western society is very sexualized, and having a "V card" is almost seen like something shameful for dudes. Societal pressure.

Talking about Japan...

Lots of men in Japan give up on dating because of a tough economical situation.

Society there is more conservative, and people look at relationships more responsibly. A guy, who's struggling financially, will often refuse to date at all, because he can't provide for a woman.

NEET epidemic is mostly due to work culture, poor economy and societal pressures. Not cuz of women.

EDIT: And consider that a married/pregnant woman faces certain difficulties in a Japanese job market, that women don't face in the west. So, Japanese women take a significant risk in committing to a man. In short, he has to be able to provide.

IronDBZ · 2024-01-21T12:18:20+00:00

I believe that they have an unhealthy influence over men's decisions.

Doesn't mean they're the primary motivator, but for a lot of men I think they are an un-negotiable motivation. Should never be the most important thing, but they are also a thing that a man just won't give up on.

I'm currently living that. They're not my biggest priority, my bills come first, but I'd be lying if I said I was completely uninterested. They're just a bad investment of time and energy and until I find one that has some genuine human feeling for me, then it's not worth it to engage.

My hormones will tell me otherwise, but my rational mind is trying to keep me safe.

John_Oakman · 2024-01-21T12:51:32+00:00

Depends on how wide the definition is. Directly? Not that much. Indirectly, such as motivated by social legitimacy and community approval? Very much so.

BatemaninAccounting · 2024-01-21T15:46:14+00:00

Hikkomori are giving up on the craziness of Japanese society, not women. Those guys would love to have a girlfriend, and some do. They would like to live in a non-japanese society that doesn't obsess around work the way current japanese city-society does.

They're 21st century hippies.

WolfInTheMiddle · 2024-01-21T13:36:03+00:00

I don’t think giving up is a symptom of women’s nature, it’s more to do with society working in favour of women and making it so nothing is ever women’s fault. People will say it’s untrue because there are people who are blaming women, but as far as I’m concerned for every man pointing a finger at a woman there are several men and women pointing back at the man regardless of who is actually at fault. Whereas men are lucky if they have anyone on their side. It’s a rigged game designed for men to lose so why wouldn’t average guys say fuck it.

However I’m talking about the Western Europe and the US in general. Japan’s situation is a bit different. As far as I know in the west a lot of them are giving up on relationships whereas hikkimori are giving up on everything and if they can just stay at home play video games, watch anime and read manga it’s not a surprise they are considering the crazy hours of work they have to do there.

To address your main question the answer unfortunately is yes. A lot of men find it incredibly hard to motivate themselves to better themselves if they believe there is no chance of meeting a good woman. They will do the minimum just to get by. Women do not seem to have that problem.

ericneo3 · 2024-01-21T13:30:48+00:00

Are women the primary motivator in most men's lives?

Yes.

How true is this though?

I think it's very true.

Men work hard to support their girlfriend, their wife. their family.
Men take promotions more seriously if they have a family for who it would benefit.
Men take more risks, like starting a business or pushing for big promotions when they have support to fall back on.
Men are accepting of their position in life, it's women who push them to look for that better jobs.
It's women used to motivate men.

If you tell and show a man he isn't considered human by society and deny him the milestones that you gift everyone else he will fall into despair and many end their lives over it.

Is the sex drive and the desire to have a family what motivates most men?

Only women think everything comes down to sex.

Men want to build, achieve something, intimacy, belonging, someone to share their joys and life with and sex is a very small part of that. You take that all away and all you are left with is despair with 0 motivation.

Build? For who? No one will ever see it and you don't have anyone to share it with.
Fight for a promotion? Why? All that extra stress, unpaid hours of extra work to stand out if you don't need the money.
Buy a house? Why should a single guy buy a 2 bedroom or 3 bedroom house if society made it clear they will never have a family?
Take Risk? On 1 income with today's raising prices? That's not going to happen. Not from starting a business or evening asking out a girl. For men failure has a steep price, however for women we have support nets. A guy can lose his job and become unemployable for asking out the wrong woman, so why would he take that risk?

MikeArrow · 2024-01-21T11:52:50+00:00

Yeah, pretty much. I live a pretty depressing lifestyle at the moment. I finish work at 5pm, eat dinner then play BG3 until bed. Rinse repeat.

If 'women were on the table' as you put it - things would be very different.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-01-21T11:50:46+00:00

I don’t think so. I have heard this a lot too but once these guys parents pass away or kick them out they will usually do something. The reason why is because men have other wants and needs too. Wither they want to drink beer and play video games or they enjoy building/fixing cars or hunting /fishing etc they will need a place to sleep, eat, store there gear, have the electricity to run equipment etc. Men still enjoy modern comforts and luxuries and that cost money so men will keep working even if for themselves.

CraftyCooler · 2024-01-21T13:38:55+00:00

In my social circle the major driving factors were money and ambition, at least for guys in their teens and 20s. We wanted to achieve some real life goals, things that are hard to get and meaningful, like getting into top university, landing a good job, having skills that you can sell, having respect of people who achieved something. All these virtual things, hobbies, knowledge in some topic didn't really count - only real life stuff, things that everyone desires so people are competing for them. Regarding money - we wanted to be able to buy nice clothes, travel, go out with friends, go to restaurants, have nice apartment, good car, gadgets - to put it simply: enjoy our lives, have a certain lifestyle and be able to show-off. It was probably a bit shallow but we were not really romantic types, women were not a prio, first we wanted to have our ambitions fulfilled.

DzejSiDi · 2024-01-21T13:36:38+00:00

Almost all of my single friends (including me) are fully functional adults.

Hikikomori existed 20 years before internet redpill manosphere. You don't need to even use internet to get tired of job market and sexual market rat races and decide to just... give up.

Would men just really become NEETs once you take women off the table?

Some of them for sure work that way, but unfortunately I have no way to estimate how many people like this are (%-wise) and how much do they care.

Are women the primary motivator in most men's lives?

No, competition, cooperation, climbing competence hierarchy is more important, young boys do that before they even know what a sex drive is. One might argue, that this drive exists, because women pick and mate with winners (whatever winning means), but this is still not the same as men caring mostly about women.

Would society start to... collapse?

Western societies are already slowly collapsing, trying to fix demographic issues with immigration. Single men work less and care more about themselves. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtvfHnZMcOY PragerU bitches about that in this video. TL;DV: "Work harder, pay more taxes, work harder, that's good for society". But uncontrolled female hypergamy, and therefore making more single people, is only one of many factors.

wtknight · 2024-01-21T13:55:26+00:00

Men do like to spend some money on the things that support only themselves, whether it's video games and video game systems, sporting events, or even reasonable sized houses or condominiums for themselves.

I think that some of the more excessive work behavior might be due to the drive to attract women, but wanting to do a reasonable amount of work in an effort to live comfortably is in the nature of men just as much as it is in women.

Some men do try to avoid work and to live with their parents in their basement for as long as possible, of course, but I don't think that this is typical behavior, at least in the west. I don't think that most men here want to live with their parents long-term.

bootyhunter69420 · 2024-01-21T17:31:20+00:00

Money is for me

cromulent_weasel · 2024-01-21T19:30:23+00:00

Firstly, I have kids and my kids come first. So no, women aren't the primary motivator for me. But if you don't have kids, is your largest drive towards women? If you think of it in terms of appetite, the two biggest appetites I have are towards women and food. But there's diminishing returns. If your need is met then you aren't hungry for more.

For me personally, masturbation is a more than fine alternative, so I don't NEED women in the same way that some people on here do.

Is the sex drive and the desire to have a family what motivates most men? Would society start to... collapse?

I don't think so. To me the subtext of this is if you just stay home and play video games all day instead of working, exercising, doing chores etc, wouldn't that be perfect? I think that having some sort of minimal physical existence and being terminally online can SEEM like a utopian fantasy, but if you actually try it you will find that it's depression inducing.

the true nature of women

I think the true nature of women is that they are people too.

giveuporfindaway · 2024-01-22T02:13:39+00:00

Sex and children is what makes men working their ass off. Doesn't take a lot of money to play video games and drink beer. Remove the above and you get a very unenergetic society.

Hulkbuster0114 · 2024-01-22T03:03:01+00:00

One of the only times in my life where I felt truly happy and fulfilled in all aspects of my life was when I was talking to a pretty girl that liked me back and we would hang out everyday. I was actually so happy and had never felt that way before. She ended it after a month and I went right back to feeling unfulfilled and lonely, sad.

badgersonice · 2024-01-21T12:17:34+00:00

Would society start to... collapse?

I think some incels are eager to claim women will drive the collapse of civilizations if they don’t marry sexless angry men. Yes, their argument is that not providing pussy on demand to every man will cause those men to “check out” and stop working.

But also, even with that belief, they will not credit women in any way for the positive support and maintenance of civilization.

So no, they don’t actually believe that women are an effective motivator for building and maintaining civilization, otherwise they would actually appreciate and respect women of the past as important contributors to human civilization. They will say men did everything all on their own, entirely without the influence or participation of women whatsoever, that women played no role at all in the building of civilization

These guys will never ever acknowledge any way that women actually matter as human beings, *even within their own framework of claiming women are the ones motivating men to do things *. In other words, they just hatin’. Don’t pay them any mind.

Mitago1 · 2024-01-21T12:10:08+00:00

Japanese hikikomori problem has nothing to do with women or gender relations in general, plus the almost half of Japanese hikikomori population is made up of women.

Most men's motivator is definitely not women, this might be the case for some teenagers, but that's about it.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-21T13:21:41+00:00

I watched a news piece on that. It showed that the main reason for what’s happening in Japan is due to economic society pressures to “be successful” education and career wide was what was causing so many to crack under pressure and drop out. Seems the primary motivation in Japan was “being honor to your family or you are trash!” Not women

Hot-Law2682 · 2024-01-21T14:38:46+00:00

Its a difficult question because men do have other needs beyond romance/sex and those needs actually get more important if they are lacking the former (men have more of a need for entertainment if they are alone all the time, etc).

However, you can't discount the live-changing power that relationships have.

One of the largest studies on happiness showed that close relationships, not money or fame, are the biggest predictors of lifetime happiness.

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/04/over-nearly-80-years-harvard-study-has-been-showing-how-to-live-a-healthy-and-happy-life/

Its not just that happy people with good mental health are the ones forming relationships. It has been proven that relationships are more of a causal predictor for mental health than mental health is for relationships. Improving your mental health does not effect relationship quality, but being in a good relationship does wonders for your mental health.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S2352250X16300252

So men aren't totally dependent on relationships but they are definitely life-changing. Give any of these NEET guys a relationship and they will likely change all their habits for the better.

purplish_possum · 2024-01-21T15:15:51+00:00

If all guys understood how women think society would be better:

1) Guys mental health would improve. They'd understand that lack of success isn't a personal failing. Women are just like that.

3) Women would have to do a lot more stuff for themselves. This would make them more competent and productive which will benefit all society.

Guys are still going to compete for women. Guys don't mind long odds. What we hate is not knowing the rules of the game we're playing.

Safinated · 2024-01-21T16:46:26+00:00

Japan isnt about the “true nature of women”, lol

They have never had a history of romanticizing the opposite gender like in the west

It’s just straight up not wanting to deal with cultural pressures/scripts, which are way worse than in the west

This is what happens when the individual is subordinate to the collective

TomKikkert · 2024-01-21T12:03:32+00:00

I only work because my wife spends

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-21T12:26:17+00:00

No. It's such an insanely misandrist suggestion that men don't give a fuck about anything other than sex and/or romantic relationships and will literally just throw a temper tantrum and give up if women aren't handed to them. They care about other people, they care about pursuing their passions, they care about learning about the world, they care about having fun. They're not so weak they can't bring themselves to do anything when they currently don't have one thing they want.

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-01-21T12:10:26+00:00

Not for me but I'm not most people! 😎

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2024-01-21T12:22:24+00:00

I'm sure many men are like that and generally they are the ones struggling with women.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-21T12:26:41+00:00

Of course, among surviving, although an argument can be made that men will sacrifice their life or disregard negative consequences for their life if it means having sex, or securing the life of their offspring. Why would ANY other behavior be the evolutionarily successful one? Learning the "true nature of women" doesn't change a thing about it.

How true is this though? Would men just really become NEETs once you take women off the table?

No, because you can't switch off your evolutionary drives and motivators if the goal cannot be reached. Men will strive for high intra-sex hierarchy positions no matter if there are women to reward this behavior. It still feels good for men to be better than other men.

Warm_Gur8832 · 2024-01-21T15:38:56+00:00

I’d say so.

But implicitly, boys learn from a young age that you’re on your own except for whatever family you can make once you hit adulthood.

So what really happens is that boys from a very young age put their own interests and values on a back burner and instead look at everything through the lens of an economic transition from there.

I think if that changed and boys could develop their own interests and values for longer in childhood, you’d have men with more intrinsic motivation and less codependency on women.

To where eventually, it would roughly even out.

coping_man · 2024-01-21T11:46:33+00:00

after getting food, air and water? yes

we gain status to get women, we cope with various political ideologies all aimed at getting even with the other guy which always cast a villain as male (either the male business owner for communism, the male jew for nazism, the male kafir for islam (it's alright to marry his sister, o those who have believed!), the male palestinian for zionism, or men from other countries for nationalism etc), we break our backs at work expecting a woman will somehow admire us for it and that she'll prefer us over "the other guy" we cast as the villain. in doubt? how many communist propaganda posters have you seen where "the evil capitalist" was a woman?

and we never learned that it's all nonsense.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-01-21T14:00:46+00:00

sex is just a basic necessity for men like food and water. I also think many men would have zero motivation to work without a family to provide for.

ChemistryFederal6387 · 2024-01-21T15:11:25+00:00

It isn't that simple.

The big difference between men and women is there is a massive pressure on men to succeed. You see this in the most trivial things, for example, in amateur sports like tennis. For women it is more of a social event, one woman player I know despairingly called them ladies that lunch. Who spent more time chatting at the net than playing.

With men, they want to win. Even their social interactions tend to be banter, trying to put other players off and turn the whole thing into a joke if they are loosing, to save face.

This seems immature and juvenile to women but I don't think women understand quite how invisible the average man is. At least until a woman they are middle aged or older.

For men life is a competition with other men to succeed, to rise above the herd, to be noticed. They want to be the funniest guy in the room, the most successful at work, the best guy on the team.

This is because those are the sort of men women want but that isn't to say men are always consciously thinking about women when they compete with other men. It is more an instinct shape by evolution, than some conscious thought that if I win I will get the girl.

Nihi1986 · 2024-01-22T11:34:08+00:00

Yes, undoubtedly... Most men aren't naturally 'ambitious' but relatively humble. Most men don't idolize travelling to the degree women do, that's rarely the main motivator. Hobbies can be for a while but don't really compare to women in that sense unless you are lucky to find a new hobby that you love every other month.

Most have plenty of hobbies, though...but it's more than documented that romantic loneliness leads to depression, which mainly consists on losing motivation.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2024-01-21T11:56:24+00:00

It's not that simple. Most men don't want to believe women are off the table for them. But even if you believe that, there are other motivators that will keep you from being NEET.

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2024-01-21T13:25:48+00:00

The only reason any organism does anything is for the sake of reproduction.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-01-21T18:21:22+00:00

No, I’d say the primary motivator (aside from survival) is impressing/competing with other men. Women are part of that and so is money. Porn and hiring sex workers covers the basic sex drive but does not provide social validation.

In Japan, people are giving up on dating because of economic reasons and extremely exhausting work hours. Not because Japanese men all got “red pilled.”

Organic_Pollution_97 · 2024-01-21T18:50:05+00:00

Aren't the men in Japan the same men who are riddled with porn addiction and isn't Japan virtually the only country where the stats on dead bedrooms show that the men abandon the sexual part of the marriage, leaving the wives to alternatives such as the rent a boyfriend bullshit? Isn't that the country where 30 year old women are considered old and undesirable by their own husbands? Isn't Japan the country where you can literally be served by neko maids in cafes?

"It's already happening in japan"

What's not happening in Japan dude? Why use that as your example???

Agile-Explanation263 · 2024-01-21T12:32:06+00:00

After a certain point no but most young men/teenagers yes. Lets also not get it twisted men are the primary motivator for straight women as well, women just have more standards mostly that he's gotta be fun.

Notsonewguy7 · 2024-01-23T20:33:34+00:00

No.

I don't think women are anywhere close to the top five in most men's life really for motivators outside of an individual woman. I think a lot of men expect women to be a prize for whatever their life goal and achievement is.

Like a man gets in shape or makes a certain amount of money or gets a certain status they expect that this achievement will end with them getting women but women in and of themselves are not the goal.

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illusoryfindings · 2024-01-21T13:36:52+00:00

It was for me when I was younger. I wanted to love someone despite their flaws, and I wanted someone to love me despite mine. I had this romantic notion that together, we'd soften life's hardships, and embellish its beauty.

Dissentient · 2024-01-21T13:43:56+00:00

Most, no. Some, yes. There are certainly some coomers whose entire lives revolve around women, successfully or otherwise, but most dudes place limited value on sex and relationships, and if dating becomes too much of a pain in the ass, can decide to not engage based on cost-benefit analysis.

LadyLazarus2021 · 2024-01-21T14:07:01+00:00

Red pillers are correct when you realize men and women don’t love in the same way. That men love women for who women are, but women love men only for what they can provide for survival. It’s discouraged me from dating after my divorce.

shonenhikada · 2024-01-21T14:11:10+00:00

Both genders are the motivation in each other lives. Women crave male attention/validation which is why they dress up in outfits/clothing that make men stare, wear makeup to enhance their beauty, use social media excessively and post thot pics from time to time, go to the gym, sometimes do plastic surgery and go into high earning, male dominated careers.

Similarly, men are also motivated by women because most women find 80-90% of men to be physically unattractive. So in order to attract mates, men are motivated to work out, get a high earning job to show provider qualities, act dominant and show little weakness, show off status and wealth through clothes and material possessions, get debilitating surgery to increase their height, pay to get access to events where lots of women congregate, pay for dates and put up with female antics of indecisiveness and cold hard rejection over and over.

YveisGrey · 2024-01-21T14:11:49+00:00

I don’t even think they would care about surviving tbh.

Gar_Kitchen_3001 · 2024-01-21T14:35:30+00:00

The only real purpose in society for both men and women is to reproduce and have kids that will carry their genes. If men don't care about women no longer is plain to see that this purpose is completely lost and they do mundane things like neets do, which are playing videogames, watching anime, personal enjoyment basically

reddit_is_geh · 2024-01-21T14:35:32+00:00

If you break it down, it's probably the biggest motivator, whether we are aware of it or not. Our primary drive is to reproduce. That's our purpose: To keep the biological machine running, with optimal settings possible. Generally, this is achieved through local status of the individual... So people are driven to attain increased status, because increased status, increases mate value.

Almost all of your actions, one way or another, are circling around status, even if you insist it's not. For instance some blue hair wokie may insist they don't care what anyone thinks about them, but within their own local circle, they are fighting tooth and nail, cancelling, virtue signalling, purity testing, running subreddits, etc... To raise their status within their local group.

That's rooted in the status > reproduction correletion. And it's also why men will forever on average, out compete with women in these status games, because men's reliance on the status game for reproduction will always be more extreme and important for reproduction. So that driver will always be stronger.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-01-21T14:36:23+00:00

Our sex drives innately make everything work. Otherwise, men would just give up (see what is currently happening to black pill dudes).

SupposedlySapiens · 2024-01-21T15:32:11+00:00

Of course. We’re here for one thing and one thing only: procreation. That’s what drives everything that men do, whether they even realize it or not.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2024-01-21T16:31:14+00:00

Absolutely. Not for all, but for the vast majority of men that is the prime motivator. We're all here to ultimately reproduce, have families and kids. Once that's out of the window, men might not drop completely out of society and become NEETs, but the productivity will decrease significantly.

LillithSanguinum · 2024-01-21T16:59:55+00:00

Of course. How can you doubt it

Hoopy223 · 2024-01-21T17:03:16+00:00

Statistically?

Under age 25 YES. Young men focus heavily on women and dating.

Past that not as much. Past 30 the onus of dating is more on women. Past 40 the woman probably has to physically kidnap him at gunpoint lol.

szclimber · 2024-01-21T17:18:00+00:00

Yes. Especially young men. Most men think about and desire women daily.

thatguywhosadick · 2024-01-21T17:59:17+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s the primary motivator but yeah I’d bet that a big reason many men go the extra mile in their careers is because they want to have a family and understand that requires a certain level of income and living resources beyond what they would do if they were simply seeking a comfortable lifestyle.

However the full blown shut in archetype takes that to the extreme imo , but I agree that there’s a clear economic impact affecting some industries due to the rise in long term singleness and dropping birth rate in many countries.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-01-21T18:45:29+00:00

It's a bigger picture as others have said. There doesn't seem to be a way to plug men into society. As kids they are seen as too rambunctious and either medicated from that point forward, or allowed to be semi-feral ("I don't care what you do, just don't do it here"). Lifelong mood stabilization might play some small role in lack of motivation. In the west we seem to make progress by rebelling against the previous generations to some extent. Maybe this is just another example of that dialectic at work. Though it's ironic that hustle culture seems to heavily buy in to materialistic/capitalistic values.

abaxeron · 2024-01-21T19:29:26+00:00

There are two halves to this. Let's call them "the lower half" and "the upper half".

"The upper half" consists of things that require insane personal investments while being not particularly profitable without some insane amount of luck. These things include innovation, experimental art, cutting-edge architecture, deep research in virtually non-applicable areas (examples being math and astrophysics), "high-style" literature, music, and cinematography, etc.

To each point of "the upper half", there is corresponding "lower-half retarded equivalent".

To innovation, it's patent law. To experimental art, it's decoration by someone else's numbers. To architecture, it's vibrating bubbles out of freshly poured concrete while standing ankles-deep in it. To deep research into the fundamentals of the universe, it's running 15 thousand tests on grain safety and breed accordance in some backyard of Godknowswhere. To high-style literature, music, and cinematography, it's writing screenplays for CW, music for CW, or working as a cameraman for CW.

A lot of men working the "upper half" things are single and childless by choice. A lot of men who get married and have children, drop whatever they were doing in the "upper half" and go working in the "lower half" due to more regular salary payments.

The problem of course is that (thus far) society cannot run on the "upper half" alone.

Teflon08191 · 2024-01-21T19:32:28+00:00

Yes. Enough so at least that history is replete with warnings to men about allowing women to invite ruin into their lives. Sirens, The Fisherman and his Wife, Proverbs 31:3-7 and so on.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-01-21T20:24:09+00:00

It is not about women per se, it is about winning in the game of life, I believe the only thing that builds our self worth is winning against others, there are multiple domains in which we compete: career, women, socially, the more wins we gather the higher is our self esteem and the higher is our enjoyment from life. Everyone has different weights to how important one domain is over the other and some are too lazy or just don't believe the juice is worth the squeeze, I believe these people can never become truly happy, but they can withdraw from society and spend their lives in escapism but at least for some it is better than the alternative

Much-Celery377 · 2024-01-21T21:08:43+00:00

I think it is a little more complex. Men want to be good guys and be approved of and women mostly decide who is approved of. When a man absolutely cannot be approved of, he dies inside.

dirty_cheeser · 2024-01-21T21:22:07+00:00

As an initial push, I think so. However if you work on career, attractiveness, social skills, respectable hobbies... for a few years it can become a habit. If a person were to become hideously disfigured and lose all opportunities with women at 35 after spending 20 years grinding career, they probably would fall back into career grinding habits rather than regress 20 years into a NEET

Professional-Copy791 · 2024-01-21T22:25:09+00:00

Probably. My bf is very motivated by me.

crujones33 · 2024-01-21T23:08:53+00:00

What is considered the “true nature of women”?

lowlifedougal · 2024-01-21T23:25:49+00:00

for the most part... Yes

McTitty3000 · 2024-01-22T00:43:11+00:00

Survival is the #1 human instinct
Reproduction is the second, yes a lot of the stuff we do consciously and subconsciously is based of of thirst

OnePotatoeChip · 2024-01-22T01:27:47+00:00

I wouldn't say the primary motivator, but they're not far from the top. A lot of the male identity is tied up in women, despite the opposite not necessarily being true, and the fact causes us some frustrations. Many guys predicate their self-worth on the approval or attraction of women and will alter their lives and lifestyle to that end. I don't think that sort of thought process is as common in women.

cuckspace · 2024-01-22T07:44:45+00:00

I think women motivate men to go further and beyond in the rat race. As a single man who is not looking for validation from women, I don’t really care about climbing the corporate ladder. I don’t push for a promotion and have no interest in managing others. I just do a good enough job to get by and care more about team success than pushing myself ahead of others.

I imagine that if I were trying to impress a new woman it would be different. If I were in a relationship with a woman who wanted more “financial security”, i.e. expensive things and trips etc. she would be more ambitious on my behalf and push me to seek a promotion, compete more with my peers, advertise my successes etc.

AidsVictim · 2024-01-22T09:07:28+00:00

Some but probably not most and far less than historically. Women lost importance in mens lives (and vice versa) when material abundance and technology allowed people to get the same kind endorphin drip they used to get from relationships with things like hyper calories consumption, videogames/movies (even books to a lesser extent), online porn, drugs (both of the pharma and strictly recreational kind), and so on.

Instead of the result of long term relationships and families the result of these sources of "happiness" are obesity, drug overdoses or severe addictions, and obsessive repetitive behavior.

Of course there are still a significant portion of men for whom women are still the greatest motivator.

2024-01-22T12:04:57+00:00

Why are we so uncomfortable with our nature? That we are animals with a drive to reproduce? That’s how evolution made us. It’s just a fact we’re social creatures who pursue connections. What are we supposed to do instead? Watch TV? Everything else is entertainment. Going to the beach or a hiking trail is more fun with a romantic partner. Always has been always will be. Just because women are more able to find happiness while single doesn’t make men lesser beings.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-01-22T23:51:51+00:00

Yes it is the primary motivator that’s why the further monogamy breaks down the further society breaks down

mybotisonfire · 2024-01-23T06:43:41+00:00

If they are, he had no life to begin with.

And that's sad.

WilliamWyattD · 2024-01-24T02:15:40+00:00

It's hard to parse the causation of these things so finely. But yes, men having women in their lives, and the families they can create together, has always been critical in male socialization. MUST it be that way? In any circumstances? With any technology level? Who can know?

This does not necessarily mean women must fuck unattractive men for the good of society. Women have always been more selective. Men have always been more innately variable. It is normal for there to be a bigger pool of unmarrigiable/unfuckable men than there is for women. It's a question of percentages not absolutes. What percentage of men can be excluded before we have serious problems? Nobody knows, but it seems unwise to push it too far.

I don't understand why so many otherwise bright women are wedded to this idea that women could become as selective as they want with no broad societal consequences? This seems like such an extreme position. I think a lot of women here don't believe that women will become that selective, and thus they see these arguments as arguing for women to push their selectivity levels down to the same levels as those of men, to leave no man unpaired. That would also be an extreme argument. The other alternative is that many women secretly (or not-so-secretly) believe that emancipated and economically free women will in fact manifest very high levels of selectivity that were always there but oppressed by men, and thus these women feel we must prepare men and society for levels of male sexual and romantic exclusion well above what has ever been seen.

Title	Are women the primary motivator in most men's lives?
Author	-snickerss-
Upvotes	62
Comments	324
Date	January 21, 2024 11:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/19c1kk2/are_women_the_primary_motivator_in_most_mens_lives/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-women-the-primary-motivator-in-most-mens-lives.1243464 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243464

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