For women with sexual experience, it is more probable that their best sex would not be with their partners but with some toxic guys.

YourMrFahrenheit · 2025-11-29T00:03:51+00:00

Goddamn that second thread is nightmare fuel for romantically committed men.

gokeke · 2025-11-29T00:24:21+00:00

Thanks for this post OP. I’m saving it

nsfwthrowaway6996 · 2025-11-29T00:43:54+00:00

God damn that second thread is horrific. So many women straight up admitting that they married horrible toxic men just for sex. That after they explosive divorce they had to train their next partner just to be good enough. That's adbb stuff.

If this is the truth it won't be self esteem issues. It will be a another filter especially since so many the women of them refused to help their partners get better at sex.

eluusive · 2025-11-29T00:42:18+00:00

People have all kinds of weird understandings about sex. At 40, I've slept with dozens of women. I've been repeatedly complimented on what I do. The thing is, I got that way because I was married very early to another virgin, and we experimented a lot. I got the opportunity for years to learn a woman's body intimately. And, every woman does not like the same things.

A lot of women are very sheepish in bed and won't really tell you what they like. And, a lot of men won't listen even when they do. I've had a lot of mediocre sex as well, but usually it was because my sex partner would not engage in learning about each other and were skittish around foreplay.

I think that sleeping around is really bad overall for people's sexual and mental health. I think that people should partner up as virgins and spend the time to learn how to pleasure their partner.

It's very unfortunate what we're doing as a society to our partners by comparing them to a long list of past people; and not really engaging in what's necessary to have fantastic sex with whom you're with.

I think it's totally reasonable for man to feel bad to find out that his partner is fantasizing about Chad Thundercock while she's with him for material reasons. I don't think that women who do that deserve to have a husband.

The reverse is also true. There's no reason to be with a man who's still texting his ex-girlfriend.

None of this would be happening if people found someone they liked as a person for their character, and settled down with them and learned to get along. A lot of what makes sex good or bad is in the mind -- and having many different experiences desensitizes us.

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

Bouldershoulders12 · 2025-11-29T00:23:50+00:00

I think this comment on the second link you provided should make things clearer for men :

“The best sex I’ve ever had came from emotionally manipulative narcissists. Completely toxic and unstable situationships. Never again. The man I’m marrying came from a similar relationship past and now we meet each other in the middle ensuring we have a healthy relationship first and sex life we desire together. Not the standards of anyone else but us.”

I think comments like this is why many men today hate the label husband material because when you compare notes and see what women are really saying in their spaces it shows

Impressive_moosenuck · 2025-11-29T03:12:12+00:00

WhY d0 mEn hAtE BeiNG LAbLEd HuSbaNd mAteRiAL

OkOutlandishness6370 · 2025-11-29T01:02:35+00:00

OP i used to think exactly like how you describe, and I am so glad I outgrew it. I no longer care whether I am the best, worst, middle, whatever.

Of course I bring a certain work ethic and creativity to the bedroom, but that's because of my own internal standards, nothing to do with meeting her approval or comparing well against the previous guys.

Life becomes 1000000000000000000000x more simple and straightforward when you just focusing on enjoying your turn with the woman and don't concern yourself with wtf is going on in her head.

If you give a shit what she thinks about you on some deep level and how you stack up and bla bla... guess what... she has incredible power over you. The instant she has that level of power over you, you already lost, even if you WERE the best.

You can be an objectively great guy and she can just decide to internally compare you to somebody and therefore your ego gets shredded? Fuck that man. Feel great about yourself because you're objectively great. Don't let her arbitrary ridiculous opinion push you off your square even an inch.

Enjoy your turn. Even if you were the best at everything it wouldn't stop the hell and shit tests and cheating and financial/emotional exploitation that's barreling down the pipe towards you. It's literally not relevant. There is no way to "win" the game of women. Only enjoy the ride. Like losing money in the casino. The fun is in throwing it all away to prove a point to a sadistic universe about your internal toughness and IDGAF attitude.

Ironically when you stop giving a shit you will become more attractive to her. Intoxicating, even. The past guys won't matter. The instant you care, you may as well be the worst.

Snoo71180 · 2025-11-29T07:50:50+00:00

The assumption behind the question is false so invalidates it entirely. Are women (or men) entitled to whatever they deem to be the "best sex" at 1 point in their lives, and then change their minds as their sexual appetites develop? No is the answer. If you don't value a relationship then just be single and go bang out anyone and everyone, or a limited variety which can change at your whim. Go to town. However don't for 1 second think that being in a committed relationship and getting bored sexually gives you a free pass to fuck anyone. Common sense. If you want to bang whomever you feel like, whenever you like because you feel entitled to do so then you better be single.

angryanduncertain · 2025-11-29T00:40:04+00:00

Every day I become more certain that well regulated sex work would go a long way for male mental health. Many men are just totally locked out and will never get to have those super erotic, casual, hedonic experiences that women get to have

MoonriseOverEarth · 2025-11-29T00:35:17+00:00

Does this play out the same way for women? What if the gal he marries isn't the best he's had? I've heard for years, "crazy in the head; crazy in bed," so she's fun but no good for a ltr or marriage. Considering how much more important sex appears to be for men as versus women, what would you advise women?

Should they have RJ? Should they go out and get more experience? Or should they get over it. And would your advice differ from what you'd say to the man?

ChicagoFaucet · 2025-11-29T08:52:51+00:00

God. Women's relationship with sex is so bass-ackwards, that it's not just counter-intuitive. It's counter-productive. "Having good sex is very important to me, even if I (coincidentally) only get it from toxic relationships, because I don't find stable, healthy, and safe relationships to be sexy enough for me to have an orgasm. And the man better not want sex more than I do, because then I'll lose interest in sex - even though having good sex is very important to me." Ugh.

There is a chart made from data that shows that the more sexual partners that a woman has, the likelihood that her marriage will fail increases, and each successive marriage has a higher and higher likelihood also of failing. The Pop-Sci majors out there claim that it is because the woman's body produces oxytocin during sex - a lot more than a man does - which creates a bond for the woman. Either there is a theoretical limit to how many bonds a woman can have, or the oxytocin in woman's life is finite, or when the oxytocin gets spread out, each successive bond is weaker than the previous one.

Whatever the reason, a difference between the brains and minds of men and women is that women will compare everything. To a man, sex is like pizza. Even bad pizza is still good pizza. And to continue with that analogy and symbolism, I was just thinking the other day about how much I miss the pizza that Chuck E. Cheese served when I was a kid - even though it was probably horrible. It didn't matter, because I had a connection to it. For men, sex starts at a 5, and can only go up from there. For women, sex with you might be an 8, but with Steve it was a 9. So, really, in comparison, sex with you is more like a 4, just because it's not as good.

PuzzleheadedGrab8375 · 2025-11-29T11:07:19+00:00

Well i’d say if a woman is mainly concerned to have good sex she should just be with a toxic guy that slaps her around and shit. If sexual domination is what you seek, go for it.

I draw the line when they later bemoan how terrible all men are despite explicitly only dating toxic dudes. The men you chose because he dominates you sexually, started to dominate you interpersonally? Who could see that coming? Right all men are terrible assholes. Because those dudes who don’t slap you around during sex aren’t men anyways. Those are little boys, right?

This gets me kinda triggered. But if a woman is fine with being the bitch of a toxic guy, all power to her. I’m in no position to say she isn’t allowed to want that.

LivinMidwest · 2025-11-29T11:51:26+00:00

I find it odd that people would settle for anything less than at least equal to their best past sex partner? If a past partner did something that was better, why settle with someone who can’t provide that same sexual experience?

I think the biggest issue facing future relationships is what the OP hit on. The minimal experienced partner is going to have trouble dealing with a partner who has experienced much more with sex. It won’t matter if the sex is great, maybe the best for both. I dealt with this issue in my youth. If I had never had a ONS, but she had, I’d always be tempted to want to have that experience. If she had a threesome, or some sort of group sex thing at a party, even just something lowkey as grouping, the same holds true. If she had a bunch of FWB relationships but my past sexual partners were all committed relationships, that was always a lot to deal with mentally for me.

One of my biggest fears while I was in my dating years was finding a great partner and her lying about a more robust sexual past. I knew if the truth came out even decades down the road, I wouldn’t be able deal with the imbalance.

milkmangofunny · 2025-11-29T01:53:57+00:00

And then they go on to blame podcasts for blackpilling men

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2025-11-29T02:01:18+00:00

If you are a 30 year old man who is a virgin, you won't be anyone's best sex, unless you find another virgin and the chances of that happening are slim to none, unless you live in a deeply religious area or come from a traditional society. I honestly don't know what to tell you.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2025-11-29T04:15:14+00:00

If you go into sex with the mentality “everyone’s orgasm is their own responsibility” you are essentially guaranteeing you won’t be the best sex she’s ever had. Just saying….

bluepillarmy · 2025-11-29T01:04:40+00:00

I’m a married guy and I love my wife and I love having sex with her.

However, the best sex of my life was with a young lady I broke up with in 2010. Still have dreams about her at least once a month.

Horrible girlfriend but fantastic sex partner. This is not exclusive to women.

thekickeroffish · 2025-11-29T10:01:04+00:00

Would the only solution be escorts, for the average man to sort of experience his own fun?

Average dudes can't pull girls for casual sex easily. But they can pay an escort. And escorts are usually very good at sex.

Far_Secret_2710 · 2025-11-29T00:36:35+00:00

‘Toxic’ is the girl-coded euphemism for ‘men who don’t shrink themselves for safety,’ and the world is a dangerous place.

Ofc girls want what they repress. It’s what they do, why they’re unreliable narrators

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-11-29T07:21:11+00:00

Oh, so you mean just like men do

https://np.reddit.com/r/AskMenAdvice/s/cVd26ecsMy

VenusNoire_ · 2025-11-29T00:43:10+00:00

At the end of the day it is a skill issue. It’s probably best to focus on your partners instead of worrying about what women over thirty write on Reddit.

“And more importantly, I am of the opinion that a women's orgasm and sexual satisfaction is her own responsibility. The guy she is with is just a sidekick or a support.” You’re not a good lover if you think this. This is such an odd mindset to me. Why would you have sex with someone if you don’t really care if they experience pleasure and enjoyment with you? I’d hope the people who think that way wouldn’t complain about dead bedrooms..

RaidenTheBlue · 2025-11-29T00:27:36+00:00

Statistically yes

Confident_Counter471 · 2025-11-29T02:44:33+00:00

I always laugh at this because I had a few partners before my husband and my husband is hands down the best lover by far, not even close. I hadn’t ever orgasmed till him. Why do you assume the best sex is with someone else?

Appropriate-Chest-16 · 2025-11-28T23:58:51+00:00

I train my partners idk what your talking about sir.

batmanandspiderman · 2025-11-29T04:16:34+00:00

as a man who has been with a dozen or so women, which isnt a lot of experience but still, there's no real "best" and I certainly wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't doesn't feel like the best or most compatible. for the sake of both of us I'd want her to feel like the best in every category, or else what is the point? and where do we draw the line? compromise on sex, do these woman also compromise on looks, conversational skills, shared interests, etc? it seems unfair to not be sincerely fulfilled with every component of the relationship

wtknight · 2025-11-29T04:44:50+00:00

If you read the actual comments, the women are saying they appreciate the men whom they are with the most even if the sex isn't the best. They also aren't saying that the sex is actually bad with their current partners.

If the goal of a man is to have a loyal partner, it doesn't sound like these women are going to leave these men just because the sex isn't the best sex ever. It's male projection/solipsism to think that a woman is at risk of leaving a man just because she has had a better sexual partner, since so many of these past partners often have other things wrong with them besides their sexual performance.

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Impressive_moosenuck · 2025-11-29T03:04:07+00:00

so true a woman's orgasm is her own responsibility, the amount of women i've met that stop themselves from peeing during sex........is insane. then women have the audacity to complain that men don't make them orgasm

ohdiddly · 2025-11-29T13:59:04+00:00

Can’t imagine dating someone who has retroactive jealousy or thinks my orgasm is my responsibility, those two things are the perfect recipe for mid sex

AnnoKano · 2025-11-29T15:33:07+00:00

"And more importantly, I'm of the opinion that a woman's ability to orgasm is her own responsibility"

A lot of experience in disappointing women isn't necessarily going to make you good at sex lol.

MenkyuKan_Twitch_VT · 2025-11-29T18:20:54+00:00

bruh, it's just crazy partner crazy sex. like y'now? crazy wife crazy life crazy sex. I guess the same goes for women too

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-11-29T22:40:10+00:00

My best sex has been with my husband specifically because we’ve been together longer and know exactly how each other likes it.

That’s not to say that every time is the best. Most of the time we’re too busy, tired, and distracted. But in the 21 years that I have been with him compared to the 9 years that I was sexually active before I met him, I will say that not only has the best sex i have ever had been with him, but that 10 out of the best 10 sexual experiences I have ever had in my life have been with him.

-Kalos · 2025-11-29T01:03:59+00:00

Finally y’all are admitting this has to do with retroactive jealousy. Quit comparing, life is happier when everything isn't a competition. I always preferred more experienced women myself as someone with experience and virgins lecture me as if I'm the one that's wrong for my preferences

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-11-29T14:06:53+00:00

This at face value is true (and quite redpill)

but here's where I'll let my bluepill come through:

Women have an amazing ability to re-frame experiences and alter their perceived desires compared to men. It's easy to understand as a guy that no matter how "amazing" a LTR's personality, kindness, or even hotness is, I'm still going to see a poster of a bikini model and think "Damn, I'd hit that". It's just who we are as men.

So we assume that this same principal applies for women who hooked up with the 6'5 tan-skinned tattooed jock a few years ago and that she's somehow never going to get over that experience. Although this is true for some women, I think it's cherry-picking the small minority.

Women will literally completely change their preferences in men based on a bad experience with one type of guy. There are many more factors that play into attraction for a woman including but not limited to: Context, emotional validation, attentiveness, helpfulness, talents and abilities, humor, and (for a good percentage) downright commitment.

The key is more to avoid these types of women that can't get over it (easier said than done, I get it, just look at the 2nd linked thread in OP's post). But I'll stay bluepill here and insist NAWALT, in fact.. most aren't like that.

FatLittleCat91 · 2025-11-29T18:19:24+00:00

As a woman, I can confirm the best sex I’ve ever had was with a fuck buddy and not an ex from a long term relationship.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2025-11-29T02:38:01+00:00

It seems like this is all designed to portray women as evil no matter what we do.

If we accept the conditions that the "best sex" is with "toxic guys," but all men want to be our "best sex," we have the enviable lose-lose position of:

1) staying with the toxic men, enjoying the "best sex" but being berated for not "choosing better"

or

2) choosing men who aren't toxic, who are the good stable men men claim women claim to want but then we're berated for "settling" and I guess cucking our partners by always thinking about the best dick

Like I'm genuinely curious what you would prefer women do in this world where the "best sex" is always with toxic men.

Few-Yesterday9628 · 2025-11-29T00:10:21+00:00

This only has the possibility of being true if the guy she ends up marrying is a virgin, which is a rarity. So saying, "women do this" under this context is pretty ridiculous. In fact it's much more common the other way around, I do not understand where you all get these fairy tales from?

My husband was not a virgin when we met. Neither was I. The good sex is exactly what kept me around initially.

ThatBitchA · 2025-11-29T03:46:13+00:00

Y'all are so damn gullible. 🤣🤣🤣

Reddit isn't real life. Get some life experiences and some damn perspective.

As a woman with sexual experience and a knowledge of other women with sexual experiences, it's more likely the person they married is the person who fucked them the best.

Not the mention, the best sex with Steve can be recreated with Billy. All you do is tell Billy what you like and wam, bam, thank you ma'am. Best sex.

"Best sex" is easy to have. It just takes communication.

Honestly though, the best sex comes with the person you love. 🥺

MyLastBestChance · 2025-11-29T00:03:08+00:00

Those things sound like men’s imaginary problems to get over. Guaranteed that if they make their absurd insecurities the woman’s problem to deal with, they’ll lose (as they should).

Dorianitopern · 2025-11-29T07:20:31+00:00

What happens when i had no mindblowing sex at all lol not even with toxic partners? 😀😀😀

bondepart · 2025-11-29T09:39:13+00:00

In my experience toxic men don’t care about being good at sex. They don’t care if the woman orgasms. They won’t go down on her. They just make it all about their pleasure and ego.

LotBuilder · 2025-11-29T06:53:17+00:00

If men and women have a lot of sexual experience, it is highly unlikely that their primary partner is the best I’ve ever had. There are a lot of reasons for that, but the main one is that the most uninhibited sexual partners usually have a lot of trauma and mental health issues… along with drug issues. They can be a blast short term, but they are usually not someone who would be a reliable partner.

Guys need to get over this. If you’re a guy and you have put in the effort to be good in bed then it doesn’t matter if somebody was a little bit better one time. Just work on being attractive and learning what buttons to push with her and focus on that.

Keep_calm_or_else · 2025-11-29T14:43:16+00:00

Why even be stressed about this? Learn what your lady likes, ask her what the guy did that was so awesome, and then do that. Don't be a prude.

Physical-Pie748 · 2025-11-29T16:47:25+00:00

i couldnt give less fucks and shits about females who date higher status higher value men than themselves, at the end it wont end well, they will get damaged emotionally because these men dont take them seriously, they just play around with them and increase their body count. later on these females will be alpha widowed and believe those men are on their own level caliber and they then will become the over 30 year old female with a body count of 100 and expect a 6 feet tall model tier looking men just because she could hookup with them. she will never be satisfied with her looksmatched male partner and will then start to resent him later on, it wont end well for women who do this.

if a woman wants a stable relationship, she has to settle for looksmatched or uglier guys or with slightly better looking man who finds something attractive in her so that he has desire for her.

EmpressJJ · 2025-11-29T00:43:26+00:00

But also how is it the fault of women if someone is bad at sex?

labtech89 · 2025-11-29T07:22:56+00:00

The best sex is with someone who cares for you and loves you.

Rozenheg · 2025-11-29T08:10:04+00:00

Notice how those women who married someone who they had less hot sex with all say they love their current life partners so much more and they have a wonderful life together. It takes a special kind of obsessive wrongheadedness to take this as a loss for these guys.

Neither being the best at anything nor being the best at sex needs to take up this much room in your head. It will prevent you from being happy and having mutually loving relationships in your life.

Title	For women with sexual experience, it is more probable that their best sex would not be with their partners but with some toxic guys.
Author	Typical_Grocery4244
Upvotes	87
Comments	491
Date	November 28, 2025 11:51 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1p99xl6/for_women_with_sexual_experience_it_is_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-women-with-sexual-experience-it-is-more.1567656 https://theredarchive.com/post/1567656

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