The average man does not "overestimate" his own attractiveness

vtribal · 2022-07-05T23:17:37+00:00

Face = Personality

Height = Confidence

wtknight · 2022-07-05T15:48:14+00:00

Since attractiveness by definition is how much women are attracted to a guy, if not as many women are attracted to that guy as he thinks there should be, then he is overestimating his attractiveness.

Cannabanoid420 · 2022-07-06T06:40:40+00:00

The only reason it seems that way is because people will pander to women in terms of how attractive they are. Guys are thirsty so they upscale most girls.

And most girls, without the hundreds of dollars of cosmetics and procedures aren't really that attractive at all. Even as a straight guy I'd say there is a higher percentage of naturally attractive men than there are women, they just have the advantage of products and surgeries that are the social norm to boost their attractiveness.

-passepar2t- · 2022-07-05T16:06:16+00:00

Basically, rating yourself highly makes you behave in a more brazen, confident manner, which makes you more attractive to some women. Women hate this and want guys to stay in their "place" in their shitty sexual ghetto, to which they've been confined. They don't want anyone but their putative perfect partner to be sexually confident. Especially not men they find unattractive.

In other words, guys, "overestimating" your own attractiveness, whatever the fuck that means, is great and you should totally do it. Just don't forget to take actual steps towards being attractive like staying fit and looking interesting.

JoeRMD77 · 2022-07-06T12:15:07+00:00

I've read that: people know if they're unattractive or not. There's no guessing around. And if people told you were good-looking but didn't show attraction towards you, then they were simply trying to make you feel better.

If you're unattractive, you should know it. If there's even a debate in your head, you're probably unattractive.

PurplePillEric · 2022-07-05T20:19:43+00:00

Guy: "i'm short and unattractive"

"when you stop seeing yourself as ‘short’ and ‘unattractive’ you will BE more attractive"

Guy: "I'm confident that I'm not bad looking and can be quite a catch"

"uhm, sweety... ugly men greatly overestimate their attractiveness study shows"

Why do women on this sub do this?

Here's your answer plain and simple:

This sub is mostly full of men who are on a quest to level up their sexual desirability. If they were already successful, they wouldn't be here.

So when a guy complains about being short, women will encourage and point out he needs to work on his insecurities to get more success... Which is valid

And when a guy is bragging he's a good catch, it's most likely bullshit because why would he be here? Which is also valid.

So that's the answer to your question, but still good discussion.

goatismycopilot · 2022-07-05T15:58:58+00:00

They over estimate themselves as a candidate for casual sex.

bluestjuice · 2022-07-05T16:06:13+00:00

Everyone really wants attractiveness to be quantifiable and objective when it continues to manifest as fluid, arbitrary, and subjective AF.

Nobody can even agree about which stunning actors represent true 10s, how in the hell do we expect this to be useful for dating advice?

Freelovehighway · 2022-07-05T15:56:04+00:00

See part of the bullshit of love is this idea that it's two kindred spirits coming together for no other reason than some intrinsic essence causing each one to attract.

When it's put out on the table we can all see the bullshit that is love. Lots of people never have to consider their attractiveness; they just get into relationships and that's that. This allows them to fuel themselves with the lie and myth on which love is built on. And I've been guilty of it too. When it works, it's lovely however when it doesn't, it is brutal and unforgiving. TBH 'lie and a myth' sounds judgemental which isn't my intention. 'Falling in love' is like no other feeling and I see why people try to give it a virtuous essence because when viewed through the looking glass it is a lot more shallow and cheap than those emotions belie.

Nobody has an answer for the man who just isn't attracted to a certain type of girl; they'll tell him his standards are too high but if he goes for a girl he isn't attracted to then this is unfair on the other person. There is no nice answer to this conundrum. You just sort of have to hope for dear life that people you find attractive like you back. There's nothing more to it that needs to be said.

I am convinced most people just internalise their status on the social hierarchy and therefore, just pair off easier others. I think most people who find themselves Forever Alone/red pilled and what have you have somehow avoided this socialisation and therefore view themselves outside this pyramid system of dating. Then there's people who aren't good looking at all but have somehow managed to position themselves high on the social ladder. I have a friend like this, he'll always have a cute girlfriend. Looks wise he doesn't get with the girl equivalent of himself at all but has somehow managed to cement himself as a desirable guy(height, personality).

kokorwqac · 2022-07-05T19:25:30+00:00

average men aren't unsuccesful with women, most guys are with their looksmatch, i see literaly the most average looking dudes with their average gf's all the time

there's two aspects guys ignore though

1- dating apps are busted and make it harder for ur monniyz

2- a lot of incels are non-neurotypical, autistic or otherwise, it is a huge obstacle in dating, being autistic, asperger, adhd or whatever is way more of an obstacle dating than your looks or wallet are, let me tell you. (and even if they aren't actually autistic or non-nt, a lot of them act like that because of internet makes everyone maladapt)

if you're an average normie neurotypical guy aiming for someone out of your league, or aiming for a demographic that doesn't like whatever your niche is, it's sprobably your fault

sarkington · 2022-07-05T17:46:59+00:00

Maybe not physical or material attractiveness

Unfortunately, that is not all of it

Otherwise, you wouldn’t hear “I have/am X and Y and Z but I still don’t get interest. Something is wrong!”

_Excellent_Tree_ · 2022-07-05T15:51:24+00:00

Women tend to have way worse body image than men. I would say that men are more accurate and women underestimate themselves.

RealAmericanWeasel · 2022-07-05T16:54:40+00:00

Attractiveness? Who can say when it come males? Desirability? We all have a pretty good idea through trial and error.

Demasii · 2022-07-05T16:56:49+00:00

Any examples? Because from my experience with this sub there is context missing here.

Guy: "i'm short and unattractive"

"when you stop seeing yourself as ‘short’ and ‘unattractive’ you will BE more attractive"

The guy in this situation will be more attractive relatively from where he is starting off. But objectively does not put him in the universally agreed upon attractive category.

Guy: "I'm confident that I'm not bad looking and can be quite a catch"

"uhm, sweety... ugly men greatly overestimate their attractiveness study shows"

The guy in the situation on this sub complains that he is not attracting his lookmatch which means he is overestimating his own attractiveness.

women with their hair cut short and make-up wiped off their face look similar to the nerds they'd ignore in high school.

Style is part of what makes attractive people attractive.

Aviadcool111 · 2022-07-05T16:13:17+00:00

I don't know about how it is for the general population of men but from the guys I know and am friends with it seems like the more attractive guys actually underestimate how good they look while the less attractive guys overestimate, say you have a guy who is a 4 he might say he is a 5 or 6 since he does not want to feel below average, this means that actual 5's or 6's get bumped up to 7+ in their minds so in order to not consider themselves ugly they inflate men's attractiveness. The inverse seems to be true for the more attractive guys I know they might have a 6 pack, be well built, and such but they describe themselves as average maybe slightly above, so you might have an 8 say he is a 6. So it can be true that men both overestimate and underestiamte their own attractiveness.

toasterchild · 2022-07-05T16:21:49+00:00

I think both comments are probably directed at insecure men but just different sorts of insecure. Growing actual confidence will make you more attractive and help you feel more attractive. There are also plenty of guys who would happily date less attractive women but are afraid to because what other people will judge them for. The moral of the story is avoid being insecure.

Shebalied · 2022-07-05T19:42:28+00:00

When it comes down to it, guys are to blame. If dudes would stop running around trying to simp every female in the world, things would be a lot better. Some guys have no chill.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-07-05T17:25:46+00:00

And I cannot stress this enough: men here are not average.

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AelfredRex · 2022-07-05T18:48:20+00:00

Yeah, them stuck up womens! How dare they look down on us?.... ad nauseam.

Early_Ad_7425 · 2022-07-05T23:47:05+00:00

That’s why average needs to work out and get hair plugs, and maybe some jaw surgery and be an omega not alpha. Omegas are so diff from alphas.

modernamericanwoman · 2022-07-06T16:22:49+00:00

Yes they do! A lot of men assume they are attractive or think other women are attractive to them and they don't have the right to do that. I HATE it when an average or ugly guy thinks I am attracted to him or thinks he's hot. I make sure to put him in his place immediately! As for 'chads' as you call them they are a special type of human to be treated with genuine respect.

2022-07-05T16:47:45+00:00

Because men only measure “attractiveness” by superficial features alone. They fail to understand that charm, charisma, and easy going grin, sense of humor, general congeniality and intelligence can make or break someone’s appeal to others.

It doesn’t matter how symmetrical a man’s features are; if he’s intense and brooding alone in a corner or hovering awkwardly, he’s not attractive.

RearwindowPinecone · 2022-07-05T16:31:50+00:00

yes and no,men always wanna date woman out of his league but he doesnt wanna be "call out",so he pretends to "overestimate" himself

and its also an male strategy to brainwash the women out of his league to settle for him,so its basically some toxic male behaviors

youdontevengoh3r3 · 2022-07-05T15:56:49+00:00

I'll just leave this here

FireCaesar23 · 2022-07-05T16:56:05+00:00

Both these statements are generally followed by something like this

>> women with their hair cut short and make-up wiped off their face look similar to the nerds they'd ignore in high school. Faceapp now allows us to see this. It’s usually the women that see themselves higher than what they really are (their egos inflated by horndogs looking for an easy fuck on Tinder)" <<

So we conclude from your bitterness towards women that either your low self esteem is making you a drag to be around or you are unattractive. Its a cause and effect thing.

rhumel · 2022-07-05T18:05:03+00:00

[permanently deleted]

PHVEDO · 2022-07-05T18:23:31+00:00

Women are overstimulated by men from social media that they are so very attractive even if they are not. Women dont do the same to men. So one side has inflated ego. Most men are quite accurate in their assesment about themselves. Their lack or confidence is so to say deserved because they dont have much to be confident about. For women looks is probably one of the most important factors, if she is a straight 10/10 she wont be lacking in confidence

There is a great video by 1st Man that explains that.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-07-05T17:45:35+00:00

There’s an old saying “everyone thinks they are better looking, can handle drinking better than they can and a better singer than they really are. That’s why Friday night Karaoke is such an entertaining train wreck.”

Don’t be a train wreck, or crash and burn with glory!

ruboyuri · 2022-07-05T18:37:50+00:00

If they didn’t, you wouldn’t hear them getting upset over their dating lives

SuperBodybuilder7405 · 2022-07-05T20:07:02+00:00

I don't buy into this "men overestimate" shit at all, most men don't overestimate anything. If a guy thinks he's 7/10 but for women anything below 8/10 is unattractive. That doesn't mean the guy who thinks he's 7/10 is overestimating his attractiveness - he accurately thinks, I'm reasonably attractive compared to most men. It's just that most men are not attractive to women.

I also see a lot of women neg men even though FDS thinks that's strictly a male phenomena.

Unique_Suspect8711 · 2022-07-05T16:59:48+00:00

Why do you care why women do it? I’ll dig deeper, why would a man care what random women think about his looks:)

modidlee · 2022-07-05T18:20:35+00:00

I think in general people know where they rank in reality. But because of different factors people publicly say things that are different than what they actually think. The body positivity movement has every average overweight woman saying she’s a baddie when she can clearly see how the real baddies look. And then you have the actual baddies saying they’re not all that because they don’t want other women to look at them as stuck up. And when it comes to men the average guy will act like he’s all that because no one likes a man who lacks confidence. But then the actually handsome guy might say he’s just okay because he doesn’t want to seem like an arrogant pretty boy who stays in the mirror like a woman. All of us say things we know aren’t true for different reasons. The reality is the saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” has been around for so long for a reason.

pop442 · 2022-07-05T16:59:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-05T17:23:46+00:00

If anything men have delusions of inadequacy rather than the opposite.

0-13 · 2022-07-05T20:09:07+00:00

My friend is 5’5 and has a receding hairline and pulls hella. He simply has longer curly hair and is very good with women. The problem is men who sit and wallow in despair without attempting to become more attractive and won’t attempt to actually talk to women and stuff. Your crippling yourself at the end of the day.

catniagara · 2022-07-05T22:39:11+00:00

I guess it’s because I’ve consumed too much pua/RP content as a woman. I see a lot of videos like this where first of all the guy making the video thinks he’s of above average attractiveness which he is objectively SO not and the guy he is describing as “average” is actually very unattractive.

Beyond that I’d love to show you my text history with some guys who think they can put me down and insult me as if they’re these top tier guys.

So what these women are saying is more along the lines of “where do you get off acting like you think you’re god’s gift to women?”

Catherine772023 · 2022-07-05T18:50:18+00:00

Confidence helps including confidence in other areas but if you think you’re hot when you’re really not you’re over estimating your attractiveness. I think both genders do it.

Men do so because of their ego and women for reasons you mentioned.

Excellent_Trouble_97 · 2022-07-05T21:52:11+00:00

never tell a woman what you think about yourself, if you tell them you feel negative they shut that down in case you are getting close to the truth, and if you feel positive they shut that down because letting a woman know you feel positive about yourself is a sign of weakness and desperation, successful guys just have fun they don't talk about it.

-Ashera- · 2022-07-05T22:39:39+00:00

Confidence is good. I never thought a man confident in himself was thinking too highly of himself. That changes once it goes to cocky territory or expecting everyone else to think you’re as attractive as you personally think you are though. And that’s okay, nobody is attractive to everyone else on Earth, attraction is subjective. You might be the juiciest peach but someone out there still doesn’t like peaches.

Rook_Cross · 2022-07-06T02:51:13+00:00

Gotta be a bit delusional to prompt them to go out and pursue mates. Nature's way to help them try, even if they are not in fact as attractive as they think. Female of the species doesn't need to pursue as much, so does not suffer from this.

festethefoole1 · 2022-07-06T06:38:28+00:00

I did chuckle reading your opening exchange in italics! Thanks for a hearty laugh accompanying my morning coffee!

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-07-06T06:49:13+00:00

If someone tells you your being over confident ignore them. Don’t worry what women on PPD tell you, get out there and see how women in real life react to you.

Confidence is sexy, just don’t push it too far to arrogance as that is not attractive in either sex

lo9ick · 2022-07-06T21:48:50+00:00

Women respond emotionally. Typically a guy with confidence is seen as a target to tear down. If a guy has no confidence. She will take pity on him. Weird dynamic.

Title	The average man does not "overestimate" his own attractiveness
Author	Johnny_Autism
Upvotes	318
Comments	400
Date	July 5, 2022 3:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vs0v7s/the_average_man_does_not_overestimate_his_own/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-average-man-does-not-overestimate-his-own.1209442 https://theredarchive.com/post/1209442

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