You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise

studiocel · 2021-08-20T18:12:52+00:00

Everything comes down to attractiveness but on a large scale demographics and culture definitely matter. If you look at the average person throughout history, their sex lives were definitely impacted by the time period they were born in and their cultural norms.

XtoDoubt · 2021-08-20T15:41:39+00:00

I'm cool with taking 100% responsibility, but I don't want to hear any whining from the blue pill about how I make myself more arousing. If it's on me, then it's on me. I'm not going to worry about anyone but me.

starseed223 · 2021-08-20T15:57:28+00:00

Ehh. As usual, on a personal level this is true. On a societal level, its worth having discussions about people's unrealistic standards and how culture has shaped the dating experience into the dystopian horror show it seems to be

forthetinderelllas · 2021-08-20T17:51:37+00:00

isnt this purplepilldebate, where its heavily debated what actually makes a person attractive?

this is completely ignoring that yes, society and culture does in fact affect your dating preferences

if we'd like to make the future better for everyone its worth discussing those things now

sumilia · 2021-08-20T18:09:46+00:00

There are plenty of objectively attractive guys that I'm not 'attracted' to, in the sense that I can appreciate them from a distance but also I won't get involved because my brain knows "he's not for me". Reasons could be anything from lifestyle being too different, age difference, I don't think our careers or goals fit. Sometimes I'm not into a guy because he's TOO attractive for me.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-08-20T15:46:30+00:00

So you're saying that the movement of making fat girls advertising as "thicc" and so on doesn't work to make fat girls more acceptable for males as sex partners ?

Ok wait now do breast lifts and augmentation.

Physical-Pie748 · 2021-08-20T18:43:07+00:00

of course dating apps/online dating had an effect. since online dating/social media/2012, more and more men couldnt get laid which went to 30% of young men who couldnt get sex, i think its more in 2021 now. so of course you can blame dating apps/social media for that. before that it was only 7% of men who couldnt get sex.

and now you ask why women dont want these 30% of men? i can say that: they have better options now, a small % of men can get more than 1 women and takes 1 women away from those 30% men, because the number of women who cant get sex didnt increas, yet the number of men at the same time increased.

so the result is we get more and more single mothers, which were pumped and dumped by a always getting smaller % of men, because how can we have more and more single mothers yet more and more men get cant sex, and so cant get a child in the first place?

i mean i dont complain at all, women can do what they want. but i dont want to listen to complains of women when they are 40 and complain about the dad who doesnt pay child suppoort and how he treated her bad. because we know that men with an abundance mindset/with options can always treat women bad and find a new one fast. they have options

Ihateregistering6 · 2021-08-20T16:33:16+00:00

If a woman stands in front of you and talks to you and thinks and feels like you're somebody she does not want to be penetrated by, its not her fault, its not chads fault, its not prostitution laws fault, its not feminisms fault or academias fault, its not your mothers fault, its not social medias fault or online datings fault. Its because she does not find you viscerally attractive, for whatever reason.

On a purely literal basis, what you are saying is true, but that's sort of missing the point.

Let's say I'm a black guy and I'm talking to a white girl. She is attracted to me, but she was raised in a very racist environment that taught her that black men are all abusive or drug dealers or thugs or whatever (pick your poison). So even though she might still be attracted to me, she doesn't want to go any further with me, and that's through no fault of my own.

Another example: let's say I'm standing in front of a girl and trying to decide what to say (let's say she thinks I'm physically a good-looking guy). My instinct is to make a light-hearted joke about something, but I was raised in an environment where I was told constantly that the best way to make a woman more attracted to you is to fawn over her and act like she's some sort of Goddess descended from the cosmos. I do that and now she finds me way less attractive and doesn't want to have sex with me. Is that her fault? No, but I would say that there is most definitely some fault laying in the people who raised you that way.

But if you honestly believe any other external change of circumstance other than being kidnapped along with dozens of attractive women and placed on an island alone with them for years, is going to change how often you get laid, then you're going to be in for a life time of sadness.

Well sure, but why can't it be both? Why can't the issues be both external and internal? Hell, even by the very nature of things like time and location your external circumstances will change. I largely struggled to get dates and sex in my early to mid-20s, but by the time I was late 20s/early 30s, I was having a lot of dating and sexual success. I don't really feel like I changed that much as a person between those times, so what changed? Well, the ages of the women I was mostly around, and the location I was in.

YoMamaz_azz · 2021-08-20T19:05:13+00:00

We are talking about the why. What youre saying is overly simplistic. Its like if I said about the great depression, "people werent getting hired because employers didnt hire them".

Hoopy223 · 2021-08-20T16:14:51+00:00

There might be some truth to that but the fact is modern (esp American) society is shit. We’re obese, our young men aren’t graduating school and getting good jobs so they are being left behind, people aren’t having children, we glorify ourselves (Instagram etc), our governments do not represent us, we spend trillions on wars that go nowhere while pretending we are morally superior because feminism and stuff...its an embarrassment.

EstablishmentKooky50 · 2021-08-20T17:47:48+00:00

This post should be on incel forums really.

stingfucksuplol · 2021-08-20T21:08:18+00:00

You’re stating the obvious. Even incels will agree with this.

What’s the point of this post again?

heyitsjeape · 2021-08-20T18:29:41+00:00

What about those of us who are happy with who we are but would like to meet someone? I think someone would be fortunate to meet me so I don’t see why someone else wouldn’t have the same kind of thinking about me.

In any event, it’s probably not going to happen because - for whatever reason - females don’t see me the same way but I at least reserve my right to complain on the internet. Isn’t that what it’s for?

goochiegg · 2021-08-20T15:41:38+00:00

And the best way to deal with that is to make yourself as sexually appealing as possible.

Too bad even if you put in the work u still not gonna get checked out by girls lol. Honestly just give up on that stuff and leave women alone bro.

BandaNaVizier · 2021-08-20T16:58:09+00:00

But if you honestly believe any other external change of circumstance other than being kidnapped along with dozens of attractive women and placed on an island alone with them for years, is going to change how often you get laid, then you're going to be in for a life time of sadness.

No one believes this captain obvious, I live in an place where young women my age outnumber young men almost 2 to 1 and I'm still a virgin, duh. Isn't low effort against the rules here? Am I missing something?

wtknight · 2021-08-20T15:38:41+00:00

If women were socially pressured into early monogamous marriage again like in the past, then how would this not change the number of young men having sex? I’m not saying that this is a desirable future. But I am saying that social and religious pressures in the past on women led to them pairing up in monogamous marriages and the men in these marriages having sex, so sex was therefore not entirely based upon male attractiveness.

gimpgirl555 · 2021-08-20T17:02:42+00:00

Do you think that men are super attracted to average women? Men are just not nasty to women the way that women are to men.

I have fucked some real weirdos myself, and I'm in the top 10% of women. So it's not men. It doesn't matter how much men qualify, most women will never have sex with them anyway because it's a form of bullying that women like to engage in.

Like "I know that you want to fuck me, but I don't want to fuck you, like eww!" if a man said that to a woman he would be shamed as a huge asshole.

We live in a culture where most women's hobby is to bully men sexually, in fact this OP is part of that mindset. Imagine if we told women that the reason they can't get married is because they're not good enough for men. We don't do that, we shame men for being commitment phobic. But we never shame women for being sex phobic.

I propose that men do the same to women when it comes to marriage: "you're not married because men don't want to marry you. They don't find you attractive as a wife. It's your own fault and you need to try harder to qualify".

ArtNo6372 · 2021-08-20T17:30:28+00:00

TIL water is wet what else do you wanna teach me

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-08-20T17:44:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Maxarc · 2021-08-20T17:45:16+00:00

While I think it's good that you address entitlement, there must be a distinction made between the micro and macro scale, because both these things operate under different sets of rules. This is a mistake many people in this sub make, but also outside of it in political discourse and here's why and how:

If you tell a friend to pull himself up by his bootstraps and give him tough love, this can work perfectly well. You might be able to help him and he might even be inspired by you. If you punish a child, that child might be corrected for his behaviour.

However, if we zoom out: telling an entire group of people to do something does not seem to work on average. The reason why this is is because the amount of variables for predicted behaviour has perhaps increased by millions of orders of magnitude. In other words, simple solutions that work on a personal level almost always don't translate to a systemic level because the problem gradually becomes more complex the more you zoom out. There might be millions of different reasons why people aren't attractive and therefore millions of different interpersonal solutions to that problem. On the macro level we must therefore find overarching root causes and solutions.

On a macro scale we must analyse what incentive people have to do the things they do. Looking at statistics of growing rates of virginity and loneliness and then saying: "yeah, you're just not attractive - do something about it." just doesn't cut it for systemic solutions. On the macro scale we must figure out why this is a growing problem and what mechanisms create the problem. In short: your advice is simple and precise on a personal level and may even work, but you cannot apply the same logic on a macro scale due to a huge increase in variables. You are therefore technically right, but at the same time systemically ineffective. And this also is why psychologists (micro) and sociologists (macro) are separate disciplines.

vredditcocksucker · 2021-08-20T18:41:41+00:00

obviously this also has to do with socioeconomic factors. if you had a bunch of supermodels to bang every day you probably wouldnt be attracted to a 7 or below. if you were khhv at 30 you would most likely be more than satisfied with a 3. obviously the more options women have, and the less they need men, the pickier they get and the more their standards rise.

Independent-Eye-8945 · 2021-08-20T18:42:35+00:00

its not her fault

Does she get to choose who she has sex with or not?

gizzmotech · 2021-08-20T19:13:35+00:00

Yeah, or ya know, just be someone who isn't terrified of relationships. I've had vastly more sex within the structure of a relationship than outside of one, maybe the unrealistic expectation is that lots of women just want to catch a dick without anything other attachment or feelings. Obviously some, maybe even many, do...but many, many more don't.

phantomdilletante · 2021-08-20T19:44:41+00:00

I’d say collective social perception is pretty important as regards who does or doesn’t get laid, and collective social perception is very malleable and susceptible to the influences of media, culture, politics, etc., and nobody, men or women, is really unaffected by that. So yeah, feminism or social media may not directly be telling the woman you’re talking to at the bar to not have sex with you (unless your face is in a FB group somewhere about men women should avoid having sex with, in which case they are), but it can definitely influence who she considers attractive, what traits she considers attractive, and how she perceives you as a person. That being said, on a practical level, you can’t just change the dating climate holistically as an individual, and your only real solutions are to become sexually appealing, or move to an environment where you are sexually appealing.

SuperSupremeKai · 2021-08-20T20:03:48+00:00

The whole 'noise' is to figure out why they don't want to have sex with you.

This is why TRP and PUA works (sometimes). They know how to make women want to have sex with them.

Haljeit · 2021-08-20T20:10:29+00:00

Dogs 🐶 aside, I would imagine rubbing your crotch with random other crotches is void of appeal absent spiritual and loving life devotion.

It’s pretty much like a more severe way of swapping and wearing other people’s used warm thongs and jock straps.

newstartinvegas · 2021-08-20T20:31:12+00:00

This post was unnecessary lol

SteveSan82 · 2021-08-21T00:25:42+00:00

Get off the internet and talk to women outside. Solved 90% of the problem.

DplusLplusKplusM · 2021-08-20T16:23:50+00:00

Technically your being unattractive might be half your mother's genetic fault (but the sense of entitlement some have is almost always due to parental influence).

IntegrityDJones · 2021-08-20T19:14:59+00:00

Simple as that. Either accept and try to make yourself more attractive, or accept that you’re simply not attractive enough. But stop whining, you can’t force sexual arousal and attraction in someone. Whining and throwing fits isn’t going to make attractive people want sex with unattractive people.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-08-20T15:48:26+00:00

Why is it that the bar remains high for men while the bar is allowed to go so low for women?

Obesity. Fucked up hair. Bad tattoos. Worse attitudes.

I say we take away male thirst by putting something in the water and these "man up if you want to see a pussy" posts will be relegated to the pages of history.

Women: be worth manning up FOR.

All it would take 2 months of zero male libido planet wide.

Women will be in the streets screaming for the return of "toxic masculinity". Feminism would be a think of the past.

Because women can't live in a world where 4 billion men don't give a fuck about them.

mangoe_hoeee · 2021-08-20T22:03:15+00:00

When a guy comes up to me to get to know me and what I’m about, 8/10 chance I will end up having sex with that guy that night or in the near future. So, basically, we usually can sense your vibe if your being predatory, shy, etc etc. Not saying you should be cocky, but having healthy self esteem and respect will get you far. Or Atleast it should, in a sensible world.

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2021-08-20T23:38:25+00:00

Factually incorrect.

Perhaps you have not heard of socially enforced monogamy. It's how society functioned for hundreds of years, and how many societies still function today. And it absolutely ensures a more equal distribution of women to men (and thus, sex too).

ohheyhi99 · 2021-08-20T16:42:46+00:00

The title isn’t true for most people, including many below average people. Most people who say that they can’t find anyone to have sex with them or find a decent person to date could find someone or already has, but it might not be someone they’re attracted to. Lots of people pass on viable options due to low attraction, which is their fair choice.

Also, some people are recluses who might not meet someone who would have sex with them. Or they haven’t learned yet how to avoid being awkward and cockblocking theirself.

meggriffinsglasses · 2021-08-20T21:09:26+00:00

Men have to be willing to accept constructive criticism from women about what makes them attractive whether they like what we have to say or not. If all they want to do is dismiss every critique and bit of advice we offer because they think they know better or somebody from trp told them something else, then just accept that you’re not gonna laid and stop whining. Men are the ones pressed about getting laid, women don’t give a shit. Listen to what we have to say or stop talking about it every day.

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LePengwino · 2021-08-20T16:15:17+00:00

I mean, yeah, probably. Now what? Lol. Some people can't help feeling bad about it, rational or not.

'Appealing'? Isn't that subjective? I get a lot of mixed signals about that reading stuff online, or even irl.

As for me, I vacillate. Most of the time, I don't care about it, I'm preoccupied with other stuff. Occasionally, I get a whiff of the 'what if'. There were times in my life it did bother me quite a bit. I'm not sure why.

As for the occasional what ifs, that must be the romantic in me seeping in. It's probably better this way, for a bunch of reasons, mostly practical like stds and unintended pregnancies. I don't have the mental resources to deal with 'surprises' like those (yeah, I'm a guy, but still...).

odd_cloud · 2021-08-20T16:33:54+00:00

First, I would throw away the word "fault". If something changes in a society, it's not necessarily someone's "fault". Now people marry later than in the past, it happens because of some factors, it's not someone's fault. It's the same when people talk about sex.

Second, there are factors which limit sex opportunities for many guys: late marriage, online dating, high geographical mobility. It's not someone's fault, just factors which shape behavior of people.

flowerwoven · 2021-08-20T16:35:59+00:00

Or they don't want sex with other people. Or they want sex but they're not trying. Those are much more likely than your scenario.

ifelsedowhile · 2021-08-20T18:36:04+00:00

This simple notion should be normally acknowledged by society at large but thanks to feminists and progressists it's often challenged.

GoodApollo506 · 2021-08-20T18:50:18+00:00

I’ve been saying this for years….

It’s not my personality…..It’s because I’m 5’6” and have the body of a 6 year old.

superlurkage · 2021-08-20T19:44:17+00:00

Oh, there’s plenty of ways to get women who don’t want to have sex with you to have sex with you. They’re just currently illegal

Or, the ways that are legal are rejected and considered invalid

Or, you’re lazy/not trying for whatever reason

-WolfieMcq · 2021-08-20T19:49:27+00:00

Look, there are 1000 reasons why a woman would walk away from a guy and want no further contact. you wanna pretend it’s all looks you go ahead. stay stupid. A predator walks up to me and says give me what I want. He has no more regard for me than the lion waiting for the antelope to look the other way. What does the predator do to its victim? It kills it.So all this over-analyzing to explain why an antelope would run from a predator is ridiculous. The short answer is who would want to lose so much to a predator. Why don’t I ever see the thread that says: A lot of women really find stupid men worthless and repulsive.

I know I do. I don’t care what you look like, you’re stupid you’re going to find yourself wondering which exit I used when you weren’t looking. So get over this shit. And admit that predators and stupid men deserve nothing. but shut the hell up about it.

SaBahRub · 2021-08-20T20:36:23+00:00

Decieving, bribing, persuading and begging are all legal and legitimate ways to get someone to have sex with you —- not just attracting someone

Eastuss · 2021-08-20T20:45:38+00:00

Ok but people are often wrong about how the sex appeal should come from your body and not your behavior. Lots of incels spend lot of time trying to improve their looks when a fat short unkempt ass like me could have success just through behavioral adjustments.

willycthecountrytee · 2021-08-20T20:48:28+00:00

I agree. But still, legalized prostitution would be lit.

StereoFood · 2021-08-20T20:50:53+00:00

And why do they not want to you may ask? Cuz u either ugly or not boom. Life IS unfair. It’s ok to accept that. Yea, it sucks.

You can still work your ass off to be more appealing!

SomangoXXL · 2021-08-20T21:10:50+00:00

OP I guarantee you'd love this video. It's basically this post but in video form.

YungxMidorya · 2021-08-20T22:34:42+00:00

This is the best take on the sub. People really needed to heat this

PM_ME_STRIPPERS · 2021-08-20T23:19:33+00:00

brutal objective truth, which i think just wrecks all pills people currently flow. Unfortnately the bluepillers are the hardest to convince of this. (no pun intended)

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2021-08-21T00:10:25+00:00

I can't make myself not short...I'm already lifting, dressing well, etc. There's a hard cap to getting sex for most men.

Plopolok · 2021-08-21T00:53:26+00:00

Low value men, it's all your fault! By decree of the FSM, any attempt to analyze external factors of attraction is banned, and anyone holding that thought will be sentenced to sadness for life. This truth is absolute and this topic shall not be discussed.

What about status and money? Preselection?

tropicsGold · 2021-08-21T04:06:58+00:00

I agree completely!!! Well said!! I get so sick of posts about how women or society need to change so some incel can get sex. It is just sad and pathetic because the world is not going to change for you.

TRP is about understanding HOW to be attractive. Because society tells men so many WRONg things. Like chore play, and be more feminine and emotional. Guys are working hard to be attractive and just driving women away.

Men need to learn and adapt, not ask the world to change around us.

billsull_02842 · 2021-08-21T04:18:50+00:00

people more like women. women act like they dont judge men by looks and they act like they dont sell sex.

profstarship · 2021-08-21T05:11:52+00:00

Finally a post I agree with. Millions of below average people busting nuts every day. What's your excuse?

CommonPrimary9817 · 2021-08-21T10:41:54+00:00

In that case, it means that it is the women's fault when some incelmen do not want to sleep with ugly women as the fault is always the one that is denied. But also that the fault is with the women who criticize some incelmen who are shitty towards the women as others may always have any preferences. You do not choose what other people's preferences look like, so it is wrong actually to say that it is always the person who is denied who is at fault

CommonPrimary9817 · 2021-08-21T10:51:01+00:00

In that case, all sex should only revolve around the actual denial and their own preferences. But it's about you changing the rule for sex when it comes to sex in general.

decoy88 · 2021-08-21T11:42:58+00:00

People here keep conflating SMV with RMV

michael1962-01 · 2021-08-21T12:40:56+00:00

RP 101 - Attraction cannot be negotiated...

No attraction - no sex.

kriskros18 · 2021-08-21T13:15:12+00:00

Spot on! Also goes both ways

Jakes1967 · 2021-08-21T13:25:12+00:00

You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise

The primary cause of divorce is marriage.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-08-20T19:37:32+00:00

Great post , truthful and insightful . Love when people speak their minds about the actual truth about Society.

trail22 · 2021-08-20T23:31:08+00:00

This always bugs me because when you say women arnet attracted to short guys; guys arent sayign they should have to sleep with short guys IT just means women are shallow about height.

Somehow sayign women dont like dating guys shorter then them for the most part is the same as tryign to force women to have sex with short guys.

You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise

Comments

C my fucking V lol.

Title	You are not getting sex because people don't want to have sex with you, the rest is just noise
Author	Artistic_Guest4386
Upvotes	265
Comments	490
Date	August 20, 2021 3:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/p87lsd/you_are_not_getting_sex_because_people_dont_want/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/you-are-not-getting-sex-because-people-dont-want.1059225 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059225